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Magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 22 (view)

My date plans dates with short notice ! Posted: 11/20/2009 4:28:47 AM
When my son was younger (teens) he used to tell me that guys don't plan for than 7 minutes ahead of time. Of course, he generalized or maybe he was speaking for his age group, but there may be a bit of truth in that statement - don't know. Haven't done enough research yet. I'm a planner and usually know what my days/evenings will be like for the next 5-6 days. Just my 2 cents, MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 72 (view)

looks or profile, what attracks you first? Posted: 10/31/2009 5:40:31 AM
For me, if there's a nautical hint in their profile, I check it out. Be it water in the backdrop or a watercraft of sorts on their picture, or if their screen name alludes to anchors, sails, depth sounder, etc. Otherwise, I don't bother. It's not easy convincing a landlubber that the sea is a wonderous place to spend time on. MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 28 (view)

do average women with numerous emails even try to get to know a man on pof? Posted: 10/31/2009 5:19:53 AM
^^^^^ I agree a 100% with Spoken For. And yes I did try (when I was active) to get to know the man. But when I ask all questions and get a "yes, no or maybe" answer or "no answer" to my questions - it gets tiresome. And if they don't ask questions ... I think they aren't interested. I know that in some cases, guys are better with the spoken word and if that's the case, ASK for my number or give me your's. It's not that difficult, and I don't bite ... on the phone. MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

why do some girls on POF show interest, but then retract it.? Posted: 10/27/2009 4:11:16 AM
Yes, she's losing interest. Why wouldn't she? She's having a relationship with her phone. Call her! Meet up with her! Texting has it's place in society and in a relationship, but only after you have established a 'real life' relationship. I sent my boss a text yesterday morning. It read: 'call me when you get a chance'. He's in meetings for three days and I needed to speak with him. We have a relationship (NO, not that kind) and he knows there was a valid reason for my message. In my mind, texting should be used to send messages such as 'running late, be there in 5', 'miss you', 'call me when you're able to', etc. but only after a real relationship has been established. So, at the risk of repeating myself: Call her! Meet up with her! MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 37 (view)

any truth left in the way to a mans heart is through his stomach Posted: 10/25/2009 5:12:12 AM
I met a guy recently who asked me if I can cook. My first thought was to reply: Where in the kitchen or the bedroom? My second thought was: Heck, why do you think I collect cookbooks? Then I remembered I met him in real life. He didn't know about my profile here. I simply answered 'yes' and left it at that. MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 22 (view)

He can't afford to date you! Posted: 10/18/2009 5:34:37 AM
What if she picks the most expensive item on the menu, like lobster (mmmmm, luv seafood), and then picks up the entire tab. Does that make him a prostitute? Then at a later date she suggests a drive to the country to see the fall colours, and he declines b/c gas costs money - his money. Can he afford to date her? I guess it works both ways! MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 75 (view)

What is the strangest way you were told it was over Posted: 10/14/2009 4:29:05 PM
I was never told it was over, but I read between the lines. The smirk on his face after I said something the last time we were together and the deafening silence since. Speaks volumes! MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

success story Posted: 10/14/2009 4:22:51 AM
OP, your profile was created in December 2007 and you state that you met her in early 2008 - 4-6 months later. Good for you - would be nice if others understood that this place (or any other site) and relationships take time. Congrats. Now walk away from here and enjoy your life in the real world with your real gal. All the best, MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

timeline , phone numbers, and safety Posted: 10/14/2009 3:57:11 AM
I have a pay-as-you-phone and just discovered recently that my full name did appear on a guy's phone. Luckily, the call I made was boat related not someone from a dating site, but it was creepy. I buy minutes when needed and was under the assumption that all was safe - apparently not (need to do further testing on this one). Play safe, check things out and if necessary, block your number, at least in the beginning. MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

reasonable or not Posted: 9/24/2009 3:16:49 PM
TryAgain: What am I missing between the dating stage and the long term stage? I agree with the 'drastically compressed' point. I find that at my age I can usually read people quite well and am willing to explore all that a person can bring into my life. I usually know fairly quickly if there potential for long term. Guessin' I'm not as wishy-washy as I was in my youth. Mr. Byte: Fortunately, I don't have credit cards (but no debt either) - just investments. BTW - I've been eyeing you for a while now, honey bunny. Outdoorgirl, cotter and WindRoper: thank you, you understand me. How does a few (2) weeks of email exchanges, a few (2) weeks of phone exchanges, a few (2) months of dating (i.e. going out, seeing how the other person interacts with strangers, etc.) then the 'exclusivity' talk (and all the 'benefits' that entails). The long term stage would be when you introduce each other to family and friends, and start making plans for the future. revilors: changed most of my profile tonight and forgot that point. The boat is on its trailor so I now have time to start looking again. Thanks for pointing that out. I guess I'm wondering when do you decide that enough is enough. I dated a guy for 7 months who I feel never made me a priority in his life. Guessin' I should have bailed after 3-4 months and not wasted my time. Thanks for your comments. All are something to ponder. MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

reasonable or not Posted: 9/24/2009 1:58:28 PM
Hi guys, I have the following paragraph in my profile, because a mature adult, I feel that it could happen. "I am looking for a permanent long term relationship. One that starts with e-mails, progresses to friends first, then dating and finally a committed long term relationship. At our age, I think that all this can happen within a year, provided that both parties are open, honest and upfront, right from the get go. Your thoughts?" Is this a reasonable thought/timeline? MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 184 (view)

What Would Do If Your Date Said To You, I'm Use To Dating Someone Better Looking Than You? Posted: 9/24/2009 1:57:20 AM
Could it be that the man referenced here in the OP was speaking the truth. Maybe his blow-up doll IS DROP DEAD GORGEOUS!!! MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 31 (view)

Flakey Girl after the 3rd date.. Opinions please?!?! Posted: 9/21/2009 5:45:47 AM
OP are you for real? You state "... and about 3-4 days later I called her up and left a msg, she responded in 10 minutes..." You wait days to call and she promptly returns your call. HELLO dude, she's into YOU! Also, I don't see a problem cancelling a date by text if said date was set-up by text. If her personality is as you described, I can certainly understand that she has a life. She's probably a great gal to have around, goes without saying. Maybe you should wait for Bombshell Barbie instead of Personality Patty, cuz Patty is too good for you. MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 44 (view)

The type of people you attract here? Posted: 9/20/2009 5:28:12 PM
When I had pictures on here, I got lots of mail from 20+ students of every race. EEEEWWWWW, my son is 23 and I can't imagine his friends ... Now that the pics are gone ... nothing. Thank goodness for small miracles (0r is that having a lightbulb moment). MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 207 (view)

What lessons have you learned from online dating? Posted: 9/10/2009 2:12:34 PM
That 50 y/o men are interested in 40 y/o women; 40 y/o women are looking at 30 y/o men; 30 y/o men seek 20 y/o women; ... Get my drift? MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

slow pokes Posted: 9/9/2009 6:51:17 PM
"... actually possible for even older fellows to authentically wish to take it slow." Another possible reason that older guys may be taking it slow could have something to do with them being burned during their divorce. A large number of the 'older fellows' where the primary breadwinners, didn't get the same opportunity to get to know their children as their wives did and are very cautious this time around - hence taking things slow. With respect to your bi-monthly guy - as Zermatt said in message 9 - if I ain't his Friday to Sunday gal, I ain't his gal at all. Period. MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 90 (view)

How would you define High maintenance? Posted: 8/30/2009 2:28:02 PM
I would define high maintenance as someone who can't think for him/herself; can't plan for his/her future; can't cook for themselves; can't clean-up after themselves; etc. I've been a mommy, don't want to do that again. Met a guy on this site who fits the above to a 'T'. Next! MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 24 (view)

Is He Scared or What? Posted: 8/30/2009 12:13:16 PM
Is He Scared or What? Of course, he's scared - he probably lied on this profile (either age or pix). Been there, experienced that. The term 'player' comes to mind. Last year, under a different profile name, I had a guy play me like a fiddle for months (I was a real newby to online dating back then). He blatantly lied on his profile about his age and picture (luv the first meeting - the truth comes out for sure), and then this spring when I came back under this username he wrote me and said: "... he would luv to hear the sound of your voice ...". I simply asked him "WHY?" Haven't heard from him since. Another guy stated during our face-to-face that he was thrilled to meet a gal who (in his words) was "cute, intelligent, loved to sail and heck, even had her own boat" then POOF, he dissappeared only to resurface recently wanting to hook-up again. GAWD, I luv the 'block' feature. Hang in there girl, there are great guys on this site. All you need is a little patience and a thick skin. MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

Does the blocking feature have an expiration date? Posted: 8/27/2009 7:17:22 PM
I just blocked someone today and then when to check my 'blocked' history. I noticed that there are only a few profiles listed (4-5). I know that I have blocked more profiles (i.e. at least 12-14). Does this mean that after a few months, the profiles I blocked will come back to haunt me? MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 21 (view)

Would you write a bad testimonial for someone that played you? Posted: 8/19/2009 2:28:37 PM
Don't get mad - get even! Block him!!! Don't give him the opportunity to contact you, ever again. MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

weak or strong? Posted: 8/18/2009 5:15:25 PM
Definitely a strength, in my mind. When a man is confident enough to express his vulnerabilities, he's also demonstrating his strengths. He's secure in his feelings, has no issues expressing them, and doesn't leave a woman dangling in limbo wondering why he is the way he is. I hate reading between the lines, so when I understand him, I appreciate him more. MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 100 (view)

Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men? Posted: 8/18/2009 4:29:09 PM
Over the past year, I've met a large number of guys who are mighty fine cooks. I, on the other hand, am useless with tools. I believe that we all have our strengths and weakness and we should accept each other as we are. I firmly believe in 'compromise' and if he'll chop the veggies, I'll plan and coordinate the meal. On the other hand, I'll run the lawnmower if he'll deal with the weedwacker. Doing stuff together can bring people together. Non? MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

Is it the right website ? Posted: 8/5/2009 5:35:11 PM
OP why would you say "unfortuantely are just hoping to meet their special someone." Of course we are!!! Gheez! What gives? Why wouldn't PoF allow ads from eHarmony? Marketing is always a good thing, no? Please try eHarmony and come back to tell us your experience. (Or do a thread search on that topic, first.) I ain't even touching your last comment (IE). MF P.S. Bluezzz - you're looking as good as ... three weeks ago. Nice! Don't change, K? ;-)

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 20 (view)

Favorites Posted: 8/5/2009 4:48:56 PM
Pitch Blease is a woman true to her word. She means what she says, and follows through. OP - do you now understand the 'favorites' concept? PB - right back at you, sis. MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

Favorites Posted: 8/5/2009 3:37:20 PM
99.9% of the people (both men and women) who have added me to their favorites are boaters. I find it's a great way of keeping tabs on their 'water activities'. Also, some (non-boaters) just want to keep tabs on my contributions to the forums. On another note, I've added a young lad from CA just because he told me he was getting his degree in December - I'm watching him - like a hawk!!! Means nothing more. MF P.S. Got'cha

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 30 (view)

Should you lie....? Posted: 8/3/2009 3:11:00 PM
Next time you're asked this question by a potential suitor, inform him that you'll tell him all the details at Date 22. That way you protect your privacy and if he's really into you (and you into him) it gives you time to get to know each other first. Just a thought, MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

For the ladies / My own curiousity Posted: 7/31/2009 2:23:46 PM
Here's right back at you. How old would you think I was if my age wasn't posted? I realize that some of us are blessed by coming from great gene pools (included you), but sometimes it sucks looking younger. In the work world, I'm seldomly taken seriously. If the 40 y/os find you hot, enjoy. MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 80 (view)

what's your perfect man/woman? Posted: 7/31/2009 1:34:33 PM
Someone who is: - nimble in mind and body; - a good communicator (not only about current events but feelings as well); - someone who is intelligent, passionate, polite, caring, romantic, honest; - and all those other traits we look for in a partner. I'm not looking for Brad P. or Tom C. but someone I will be comfortable with. Someone I would be pleased to introduce to my friends and family as my 'boyfriend'. Someone who will make my toes curl, my skin tingle and who's face will be imprinted in my mind forever. MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

flowers on a first date? Posted: 7/31/2009 12:43:40 PM
Flowers on a first date (not a first meet) is a nice gesture. But keep it small. A single flower or two. If she has to carry them around and has an idea that you spent lots of mulla, she will probably be uncomfortable. A $50 bouquet may wilt during the course of an evening. And that's where she will feel bad. If it's only a carnation or two, it's not a big deal (I think - haven't priced carnations lately). This way, if they wilt - not much was spent - but the thought was nice. Also, if you are walking around in a busy area, others will notice. Especially other women and they will probably think to themselves - there's a lucky gal. Just my 2 cents, MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Should I be apprehensive giving my cell # before any real email? Posted: 7/31/2009 10:20:40 AM
DON'T DO IT! Smells very 'fishy' to me. It's not only gals who need to be cautious and protect themselves ... guys need to do so as well. With the internet, you can find all sorts of stuff about other people. Be careful. With these two, I would stick to emails thru PoF for a week or so, then progress to regular email. If they don't like it - too bad. There are plenty of other fishies out there. Lots of luck, MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 80 (view)

You've talked about fat guys, what about shorter guys? Posted: 7/30/2009 6:04:58 PM
Anything between 5'2" and 5'9" works for me. The headroom on the real Magic Fish is 5'9" and I wouldn't want you to constantly bump your head. All I require is 'nimble' as in 'nimble body ... nimble mind'. Is that too much to ask for? MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 63 (view)

Moving in Posted: 7/30/2009 5:49:46 PM
I would love to share a home with a SO. Someone to play with when the mood strikes, someone to talk to or not. Just having a great guy around whether we are together or at opposite ends of the property. And for my part it would not be for financial reasons, but just because ... we want to be together. I'm quite content coming to an empty apartment every night (when not heading to the boat), but it would be nice to curl up next to a special guy every night knowing that he'll be there in the morning. MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 47 (view)

I have only one question, WTF?! Posted: 7/30/2009 4:44:30 PM
Been there, done that! I'm a proofreader by trade. My co-workers now know to keep pens and pencils away from me when they ask for my comment/opinion on a document they've drafted. And when I re-read some of my posts after the 15-minute expiration time - I often cringe at my own words/text. Your profile looks good to me, but there are others out there ... Yikes! I sometimes feel that a little sprucing may enhance their chances/luck in the luv arena. Would love to give them lots of commas, spaces, returns, ... to use at their leisure! I'm now in a 12-step program regarding this issue, so all's good. I would never comment on pictures or basic stats, but if I need to read the 6-8 lines in the 'About me' paragraph more than twice, I lose interest. Just too hard trying to decipher their message. MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

How to know if that person is truly interested Posted: 7/29/2009 4:23:23 PM
You could ask a subtle question like: Do you feel we are building a relationship? If she answers (either way) you'll get a hint as to where she's at. On the other hand, if you ask that question and don't get a response ... well, that could be a response as well. Or you could try Nav's suggestion. Either way you'll get a hint. Lots of luck. MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

living on a boat Posted: 7/25/2009 2:57:19 PM
out a line: Are you planning to live aboard during the school year? Is it possible for your son to hop off the boat and head off to school either on his bike or by school bus? You are so lucky to live in a part of the continent where the boating season is ... what? 12 months of the year. MacGyverRI: Questions for you. What did you use for insulation (fiberglass, rigid foam, something blown-in)? Did you lose a lot of interior space as aresult? Are you on a body of water tghat freezes in the wintertime? And if so, do you have an aeration system under the boat to prevent to ice from forming around the boat? In the two years you have been living aboard, how often have you needed to haul her out to deal with bottom paint and or barnacles? I'm thinking of living on my boat next summer, mid-May to mid-October, and I am seriously considering your lifestyle. The marina where I currently moor my boat removes the docks in the fall but there are marinas nearby who leave the docks in all winter. Just wondering ... MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

Toupees Posted: 7/18/2009 3:42:48 PM
From what I've read, you guys don't seem to like fake boobs on your gals. What would make you think, we gals, like fake hair? Hair is nice to play with, but come on, there are other things we can ... Casper4u is right in his suspicions - you did bump your head this morning, didn't you? MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 108 (view)

If s/he has never been married that's a major red flag Posted: 7/17/2009 3:07:04 PM
Scottdehart, msg 115: Are you referring to MOI? MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 41 (view)

Womens likes in profiles Posted: 7/11/2009 4:45:01 AM
OP - you struck a nerve with me regarding SAILING. Sailing is an addiction I have. When I started on PoF 1½ years ago I was looking to crew on a boat, but couldn't find anyone interested, so I got my own boat (paid in full, but only 20'). This winter is got the "sailor's disease" (biggeritis, a.k.a. two-footitis) and got a 25'. Both are mine and yes both cost money. But it's MY money! I also have ART. Again, paid for with MY money. I mention these interests in my profile because they are MY interests and if a guy does not want to accompany me to an art auction or come sailing, he can't complain if I do. My interests are on my profile - live with it or move on. The other interests you seem to have a problem with, can all be done on the cheap. Most museums in my town have 'free admission' periods during the week. And if one puts on their thinking cap, they can find ways of doing ALL interests on the cheap. Anyhoo, I'm off to pick up the new rigging for the boat. Did you know B-O-A-T stands for Bring-On-Another-Thousand (MY thousand), cuz I need to make sure my boat is safe. Now if you'll excuse me, I doing to play outside for the rest of the weekend. MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 388 (view)

Do women ever wear garters and stockings anymore? Posted: 7/8/2009 4:41:16 PM
A garter and stockings are so much more comfortable than pantyhose. And as one poster stated, if one gets a run, chuck it and you only lose 50% of your purchase (of course, you need to get several pairs of the same colour and texture), but I usually need 20 pairs per winter so it's no problem getting similar ones. Besides, makes me feel sexy and I only wear them when in dresses or skirts. MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 33 (view)

Lip gloss Posted: 7/4/2009 4:24:28 AM
I certainly understand why guys don't want to kiss a gal wearing lots of gloss and layers of foundation. Heck, I seen gals who had so much make-up that they probably need a chisel to remove it. Can't imagine it would make a face-sucking activity very pleasant for you guys. I must admit though, that I am addicted to my blistex. My lips are very dry and I buy those little sticks by the case. Have them where (office, car, boat, purse, etc.) and I do get cranky if I lose one when I need it the most. Other than that, I only wear mascara and if a guy ever wants to suck my eyelashes - Eew! I'll move on to the next guy, thank you very much. MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 40 (view)

What does your home say about you? Posted: 6/24/2009 4:43:26 AM
My home had an ugly episode a few weeks ago. As I was heading out the door, all I heard was: "You spend more time on that boat, than you do with me!" Blah, blah, blah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I envy you LegacySkipper. One address. That's it, that's all. What does it say about you, you ask? You're a minimalist and don't need a whole of bling in your life. I'm heading in that direction. MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

Just found out my 19yr old son has chosen to join the Marines Posted: 6/23/2009 6:21:41 PM
I hear you, Sister. My was son was 19 when he joined the army and I was experiencing the same feelings you are (anxiety, fear of the unknown, distance/separation from my only child, etc.) but I accepted his decision. He was only in basic training for 1 month. He fell off a 20' structure and broke his ankle. At that time, his choices were to stay in and do physio for 6 months or leave with the option of going back/being called back during the course of the next 5 years. In his mind, after a month of recuperating, he would be able to function normally (in the outside world) so he chose to leave. He is now 23 and is applying to join the RCMP. I know he won't do anything foolish and will make a go of it. Methinks he was trying too hard to impress his superiors the first time around. All I can say to you is, let him make his choices, take his chances, pursue his dreams, and support him ALL the way. It's not easy, but we parents, need to cut the cord at some point. And besides, don't we want them to fly on their own, ASAP. lol Hope this helps, thinking of you, MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 80 (view)

If s/he has never been married that's a major red flag Posted: 6/19/2009 3:47:52 PM
SagMan4U: Re your message 71: My agreeing with 90% of your comments to me was all 'tongue-in-cheek'. I think you are an idiot for thinking the way you do. Me thinks that you need to reply to another 50 posts to get this off your thread posts. Woman (the intelligent ones) will not want to approach or respond to your emails if they read your contributions to the threads. On your '**ness' issue (was that bitterness OR **yness) I've moved past that. Although 13-15 years ago I was bitter, I no longer am that way. Heck, I'm a great person to be with (or so I'm told by family and friends). You, on the the other hand, seem to take pleasure in downgrading people (both sexes). How's that working for you? In this latest message to me, you state that you are not a 'drinker' yet your profile states that you are a 'social' drinker. Which is it??? Please explain. As far as my son smoking a joint. It will never happen!!! He cares for his body too much and knows that it could jeopardize his chances of getting into the RCMP organization. Heck, he won't even participate in 'road rage' 'cuz he knows IT would be detrimental to his future career. MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 86 (view)

How important is chivalry in an relationship to you? Posted: 6/19/2009 2:22:26 PM
I don't think chivalry is dead (I've seen it in my son) but I don't necessarily expect it 99.9% of the time from a date. There are times though when I appreciate it. Case in point, if I'm on a date with a guy and he has a vehicle with heavy car doors. At that point, yes, chivalry is important to me. I truly appreciate it if he opens and closes those doors, 'cuz I hate to think what would happen if it (the door) hit another car and damaged both vehicles. But, does he need to stand when I enter a room or remove his hat (of the baseball kind) in my presence? NO. Nor does he need to walk on the street side of the sideway - but IF he chooses to do so, it's not an issue with me, either. Honesty, integrity and compassion are far more important qualities IMHO. MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 69 (view)

If s/he has never been married that's a major red flag Posted: 6/17/2009 6:06:38 PM
Hi ya Lonely (guessin' we are on a first name basis, now that we've exchanged private emails), You never answered my question. Will you marry me? Yes or No? I believe it is No, and I am truly devastated. Guessin' another notch on the 'no' bedpost - correct? And here I thought we had a beautiful thing going! What's a girl to do to get married??? Regardless, you still hold a special place in my heart. Hugs and kisses, MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 56 (view)

If s/he has never been married that's a major red flag Posted: 6/16/2009 6:38:25 PM
WOW!!! Didn't think I'd start a war with this one. Thanks for all your input. Honeygaze: You're absolutely right. We are not in that 'mindset'. We've not fleeced a guy and I know that I don't intend to - ever. And I know that I've never been high-maintenance - just happy with simple pleasures in life. tinkerbellcgy: I developed a very 'thick skin' over the winter - so the forthcoming issues are ... not an issue. And you're right - should'da done a search. Oops! Landra2: I luv' being an oddball. Don't you? Come on, I know you do! Makes the rest of them pale by comparison. Non? And, thelonelydude: Wanna get married? We don't need to live together or, heck even consummate it, but it could be fun. No need to be a statistic by getting a divorce either. Heck, we could even get dual-citizenship out of the deal. Yes? No? NOW SAGMAN4U: I have issues with you. You don't know me and heck, you didn't even read my profile carefully. But to rebuttal some of your comments/assumptions: 1) you are a "professional" woman and MARRIED your career. [I'm not a 'professional' woman but I do work. Pays the bills.] 2) you have shit for luck with men. [You're right on that one. My child's biological father disappeared 4 days after WE found out WE were pregnant. The relationship I referred to in my OP (who was not my son' dad, but a guy I was living with/dating/possibly forming a relationship with) introduced another woman the relationship. As I've stated in other post - I DON'T DO 'ménage à trois' very well. I'm kind'da silly that way!] 3) you are a NON-COMMITTAL type of person. [I don't commit to guys I don't have feelings for. Again you're right.] 4) you probably have a son [again, did you not read my profile], which would explain part of the reason why you never married [regardless of the sex of the child - I had a child to raise]. Boys are attached at the teat more than girls. [Again, you're right. His girlfriend has em' and he thinks they are the best!!!] 5) You are from the same generation I am. So, after high school most girls in our age group either got married or went to work. Very few went to college. You obviously chose work. [I didn't really choose work - but, heck, I had to keep myself busy! You are correct in stating that the females of my generation were expect to get married or work. My mother is still upset that I didn't get married after high school, pop 2.3 kids, get .6 of a dog and live in a white picket fenced house. Oops, I'm French Canadian please change that to 6.3 kids.] 6) The issue as a man looking to find a mate when they meet someone like you (never married) it is a BIG ISSUE. You NEVER met ANYONE that you loved? Not ONE single person? Statistically, that is very hard to believe. [I was involved with guys that I really loved (3 in fact), but they didn't love me back in the same way that I loved them. Read - players! I believe that in their minds - the grass was greener on the other side of the fence. What's a girl to do?] Which also can concur up thoughts of YOU being a real itch of a person. [Interesing thought. If that's the case, why would men, whom I met last year here on PoF, be contacting me now. Don't men want to eliminate itches from their lives completely? Or do they like the pain a 'itch' inflicts?] And lets just assume you're the nicest person in the world, that is even MORE of a red flag to me. Because if you ARE that nice and sweet and loving and all that other good stuff....why no mate in marriage?? [Maybe I am waiting for 'Mr. Right for Me'!!!] It's not like you grew up in the '80's. You know, the "new age" woman. You know the kind...the ones who have a career and think they don't need a man. You know the kind of woman I speak of. The same type of woman who thinks that a kid would be better off without their father present in the kids daily life. Another mistake made by women. [I didn't make that mistake - HE (his dad) did!] You even mentioned how YOU walked away from your last LTR to raise your kid. Are you for real?? Your 53 years old today. My question to you is when did you "walk away" from this last LTR? Assuming like women your age, your kid is probably anywhere from 21 to 35 years old. So did you break up 5, 10 15 years ago?? [Read my profile - it's accurate. My son is 23½ years old. And yes I 'walked out' 15 years ago. Again, I don't do 'ménage à trois' very well - just a quirk I have. Shoot me, for being like that!] Another reason why fathers are just as important(and in some cases) MORE important to raising a kid(s) than their mother. [I truly believe that male role models are important in a boy's life. And as his biological father wanted nothing to do with him (MY son - not OUR son), I made sure that MY son was surrounded by male figureheads throughout his life. Case in point, at 18, the Boy, (MY son) joined the army. During the first week there, he was told that he could only go home on special leave to attend HIS 'parent's' funeral, if it happened. MY son informed me that if his uncle 'C' passed away while he was in, he would leave the army (dessert) if it meant him not being able to be close to the ones he loved. His uncle 'C' is the most important male in his life, as been since the Boy was 5 years old. As well, when the Boy was 8-10 years old and very passionate about cowboys, I'm the one (not any of the males in his life) who drove 4 hours (both ways) from Ottawa, ON, Canada to Frontiertown (Albany) NY, USA on day trips to enable MY son to be a cowboy for a day. Heck, one summer I did the trip 4 (four) times, because it was important to MY son. I'm also the one who sacrificed car repairs and hauled groceries by bus, so that I could save the necessary money for the Boy to go on THE canoe-camping trip of his life with his Scout Troup.] Before you women jump all over me, I love my mother. And my kids and I would do anything in the world to have their dead mother back....but we can't. Fathers are greatly under appreciated in today's society. [I agree. The fathers who care, are not appreciated. The ones who don't give a ratsa$$ about their offspring, should not be /could not be appreciated. They just don't deserve the glory/appreciation/adoration.] [...] Well, there you have it. Oh by the way. Your last sentence..." I don't think I'm broken, flawed, etc..." Well, I'm not a doctor but I did study psychology. And if YOU think your broken...well baby, you are. As far as being flawed, we ALL are. [I don't think I'm broken or flawed ... Heck, I think I'm perfect. And if the rest of the world thinks I'm broken/flawed... that's their problem, not mine!] Why am I still single? Because I made my child MY priority when no man wanted to make me his priority. I am happy to state that my Boy does not have tattoos or body piercing, nor does he do drugs or smoke. He's a licenced auto mechanic and is now applying to get into the RCMP ('cuz mom always said that in this day and age he should have two careers, in case one goes into a tailspin). People have asked him why/how he is so well adjusted - being raised my a single female. He has told me that he has raised his shoulders and said "I dont' know", then he would come home as asked me why. I would raise my shoulders and say "I dont' know", but if it works - use it. In hindsight, I believe I was a itch, as referred to earlier, but the kind of *itch that did right by the Boy. MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

If s/he has never been married that's a major red flag Posted: 6/15/2009 5:19:44 PM
O.K. I need help understanding the title to my post. I just read this again for the umptheen time in the "dating over 55" thread. I really don't understand what the issue is with the 45+ gang and never being married (o.k. maybe it's because I'm short, blonde and a Senior-in-Training). I've never been married and decided, when I walked away from my last LTR, that it was best that I devote myself to raising my child. I don't think I'm broken, flawed, etc. So what gives with the red flags and the older crowd! Explanations sought, please. Everything and anything is welcomed on this one. MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Why are there so many attractive women on POF? Posted: 6/1/2009 2:03:28 PM
Maybe it's easier to meet and start getting to know 10 men in 1 hour behind a screen than standing in stilettos at a function. Maybe a cyber 'slap on the face' is less painful on their delicate hands, when the men they meet online are rude/crude . Maybe the nice guys are afraid to approach them in real life. Maybe they ain't that beautiful without the war paint. Maybe their profile was written by a professional writer. Maybe they don't really consider themselves 'attractive', but more as 'average' women. Maybe ... MF

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 22 (view)

!@#$%^& Posted: 5/31/2009 3:53:30 PM
Could it be hormones? Read the thread "The Joys of Being a Woman" (the vacuum) then decide if she's worth keeping or releasing back in the pond. Just sayin'. MF P.S. My hat goes off the to men who can withstand the 'stupid' hormonal changes/phases we women live thru.

magic fish

Joined: 3/16/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

Talking Dirty, Finances and Dating Posted: 5/31/2009 3:01:43 PM
To answer your question: Yes, my potential partner's financial status matters. I'm not a Golddigger and I am not looking to become someone's Sugar Mama. "Would it prevent you from becoming seriously involved?" Yes. I've met guys who's profile made them look attractive, but after getting to know them for a while - well, things were totally different. I'm looking for a guy who can live without my financial support; but who needs me in the other support areas: emotional, intellectual, spiritual, etc. Not a guy who throws his money around as if it's from a bottomless account, but he can't be a penny pinching tight-wad either. He doesn't need to drive a fancy new car, but his wheels need to be a safe-enough ride for me to get into. Otherwise we take my car and I drive! WHEN I find him (and I know I will) and if WE decide to merge households at some point, I'm truly hoping that the savings incurred by the merge will provide better gravy for those meat and potatoes (read: more disposable income for the finer things in life). I guess if I were asked the question you were asked "... how I was set financially" I would answer "Comfortable. You?" But my radar would and has been up on such matters. MF

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