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tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 164 (view)

The Date After....... Posted: 3/10/2006 10:17:52 AM
melts hair and maybe some skin along with it... I think they warn you about using that stuff near your eyes.

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

What do women really want - the answer not the question Posted: 3/10/2006 9:56:35 AM
I want my equal and respect - in all things. And I want to run and control my own life. And I want the man to run and control his own life. And if we both like those choices, then we have some commonality from which to proceed to who knows how far. I think the thread pretty much sums it up. So many men want to control their mates and their mates want the control over their own lives. So men ask what do women want? Even the word husband conveys control. Men who keep asking that question generally just don't like the answer. But there are also control freak women. I think control freaks are basically out of control of themselves so they try to control everyone else. Just my observation

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 64 (view)

Older men on motorcycles..or wanna be bikers Posted: 3/10/2006 9:30:41 AM
I've got 2 problems with motorcycles: 1. The lack of adequate mufflers and the noise pollution is awful. I want to keep my hearing. 2. The lack of protection if you have an accident. No matter how skilled you may be, you are at risk of awful injuries if you have an accident regardless of whether you did anything wrong. ...Just remembering the awful accident my brother had when a car clipped him on the freeway on his motorcycle. Thank god he had good quality protective leathers on or he'd be dead. shudder!

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 159 (view)

The Date After....... Posted: 3/10/2006 4:48:04 AM
I'm not voting to bash commonsens - he was very upfront with both the lady and us about his intentions. He did say good things about her, the only slightly derogatory thing being that she didn't have model looks and was ok looking. I initially read that to mean he was relieved about her looks - seeing as how he didn't have any idea what she looked like. I can also see how it can all be taken the wrong way and that she might in fact be laughing it off on the surface but be a bit hurt. We will never know. I simply don't know. And how does any of us know whether she has posted in this thread or not? The only one who has a clue who she is is commonsens who has protected her identity as he promised. If she was very clever (commonsens indicated she was intelligent), she could easily be anybody. It is easy enough to sign up as anyone on this site. She could be me for all anyone knows. (But most likely not) I give him points for being honest. He may have dominated the conversation, he may have hoped for drop-dead gorgeous. He says he knows instantly whether there will ever be sparks. Bottom line is he believes she won't be a love interest and he, like each of us, has that right to decide what will work for himself whether it be for shallow or deep reasons. And we all know that if it doesn't work for both, ya got nuthin

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Women And Vacations !!!!!! Posted: 3/9/2006 1:34:16 PM
I don't see any difference in the cost to either sex. Even tho the actual definition of slut is female dog, I'd consider them both sluts and wonder what nice std's they've got. But then that's just me...

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 87 (view)

The Date After....... Posted: 3/9/2006 1:29:43 PM
The lynching aside... I do wonder how it is that two people spent a fun 5 hours talking late into the night in the middle of the work week no less and have no real connection? Why would a guy invest so much time in a lady he's not interested in? It certainly would give off confusing signals. If I don't have a lot interest, I sure wouldn't take the lack of sleep hit involved here.

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Some Advice Please Posted: 3/9/2006 1:15:03 PM
Get pictures of your bruises and be sure they are dated. Document everything. You can't be too careful with someone like that. Too many people end up dead with this kind of thing. Unfortunately, your daughter is also at risk from him and she will be more vunerable than you - more naive and more susceptable to manipulation. Counseling is probably called for. Don't hesitate to call your local women's abuse hotline for more ideas - they are pros.

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

Am I over reacting? Posted: 3/9/2006 1:09:30 PM
bike man, if it were me, I wouldn't consider the girl a friend, but then I wouldn't have butted in either. I'm just reacting to several posters who seem to think that once you've dated someone, no one you know can date him or her either - i.e., a life time lock. I suppose that is an artifact of casual sex - you don't want him or he doesn't want you but you had those instinctive and probably unwanted feelings sex engenders and so feel like there's some sort of ownership. All around not healthy. You can't control who finds who attractive and once you no longer have a romatic relationship, you have no rights as it were over that person. Also, it is possible that those two have a genuine real connection - that powerful thing we all want but so rarely find. And when that happens, who is anyone to say that they can't be together? Maybe it's not like that and her behavior doesn't sound all that on the up and up, but they have to make their own decisions and it isn't Mango's business. I also agree, if it were me, I'd distance myself from the whole thing - for my own well being. But there again, it is Mango's decision how valuable any of these people are to her as friends. The friend can only let him know what she knows about the girl's current behavior, then let him make his own decisions.

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

After meeting some of the men here, I am about to divorce Posted: 3/9/2006 12:51:41 PM
I think she was a 14 year old boy who ought to pay attention more in school and learn how to put a sentence together. Can you say troll?

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 26 (view)

Am I over reacting? Posted: 3/9/2006 12:31:26 PM
Since when did dating someone give you a lifetime lock on them? They got together a little too much at your house - while you were there no less - that's tacky. You let them know, they appologized. So far that's fine on your part. Your good friend owned up when you asked him about his relationship. Fine. Not really your business, but no lies. He probably didn't want to let you know too much detail out of respect for your feelings since you and he were once together. No foul there. The girlfriend lied when you confronted her. Not cool, but it really isn't any of your business. If you know she's still with her old boyfriend and told you what she did, you could (after having stuck your nose in it) gently tell your male friend what she said and that you think she's still seeing the other guy. Have no jealously or accusations in your voice. Then, BACK OFF. It isn't any of your business. Let both of them make their own decisions and you don't enter into it. You have no ownership rights over him now. As a friend, you would have told him facts as you know them, but give him the respect to make his own decisions. For all you know, these two might have a true connection that is real.

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

Ex-Girlfriend calls you up..... Posted: 3/9/2006 12:02:59 PM
You made the right call - you don't want to get involved with this little drama. And no, you aren't paranoid. He just told you all you need to know. Twisted game he's playing along with her. I had this happen when I was divorcing - my ex's gf did this quite a bit until I told him to call his cat off. After his denials, the harassment suddenly stopped. My only attitude towards her was, honey, you want him, you got him. I don't need that sh**

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

Women and Jerks Posted: 3/9/2006 11:50:10 AM
From all the complaints from men who complain about women who done them wrong, it seems both sexes have a problem with being attracted to partners who treat them badly. For me, it was a learning process and it didn't help that I had some patterning after a father that was in many ways a jerk. I now seem to be able to see a jerk for being a jerk a lot faster now than when I was younger. I also faced up to the fact that people are who they are and are not going to change in any fundamental way. If I don't like the way I'm being treated, I don't stick around now to see if it gets better because it rarely ever does.

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Are women really spun? Posted: 3/9/2006 11:34:37 AM
Hmmmm, you met in person once and nothing but emails since? You are feeling uncertain and off balance about him? Sounds to me like he's not much interested in you and is just dangling you along. But that could just be me. I would drop him by now. If he was really interested in you he'd want to see you. Bottom line. You can go slow while seeing someone in person. You can't get to know someone if you never do anything together. Moving right along...

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 40 (view)

The Date After....... Posted: 3/9/2006 11:22:42 AM
Commonsens, I'm guessing that you are a gregarious guy who talks a lot in general. You obviously had a lot to say to each other and got on well. To have stayed talking until after midnight when you both had to get up and go to work the next day sounds promising and at least friendship material. As for sparks, sometimes, it takes a little more getting to really know someone before ignition. Could you have been dominating the conversation without realizing it? - due to a little nervousness, lack of recent experience, some exhaustion from the long day? And could she not have been listening and seeing what you were made of before revealing too much of herself? I know I'm a little reserved before revealing too much - and men in general tend to dominate conversations (research has proven this, before I get flames). Maybe she couldn't get a word in edgewise (a little exageration :-) It sounds to me that you are perhaps making too instant a decision and should pursue a friendship in any case to see if you have that. Afterall, you just met and have nobody in common. you now know each other only a little bit. To my way of thinking, a relationship needs a friendship base in any case to be a good one. But it is up to you. In the end the sparks need to be there.

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 51 (view)

Relationship Posted: 3/9/2006 11:06:19 AM
At 2 months you are still in the honeymoon phase. After 3 months, both of you should be getting so used to each other the real person reasserts him and herself. If this whatever you want thing continues after 3 months, you've got a problem. Before that, he's trying to please you and keep you and can be forgiven. There's still a lot of uncertainty in the relationship. If he never gets beyond that, then he is hiding his real self from you and it gets into the passive-aggressive and manipulation games. You will never be able to please him because he will never let you know what pleases him. No relationship can be healthy when one person is always subverting what he (or she) wants to please the other - all the time! There has to be a give and take with the overall power equally shared. You say what you want, he says what he wants - lots of times it is the same thing, other times it will be more important to one or the other and you compromise, sometimes you have to negotiate something. But when it always goes to what one person wants, the other will be cheated and the "winner" will not have that real intimacy of knowing the partner. Definite warning bells, but not the death knell yet.

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

How long should someone hold on to a relationship Posted: 3/9/2006 10:51:36 AM
Hmmmmmm, He's got the the wherewithall to fly her up every month but doesn't have his life together. Sounds like your other friends are smelling something fishy. It doesn't add up.

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 144 (view)

Why can't men focus on the conversation ? Posted: 3/9/2006 10:06:47 AM
There are men who make me glaze over whenever they open their mouths too. But I find listening to every 10th word or so covers up my boredom pretty well until I don't care anymore. I always assumed it was because they weren't interested in what I was saying. I take that as my que to shut up and leave.

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 58 (view)

i caught my ex boyfriend dressed like a woman Posted: 3/9/2006 9:57:21 AM
According to the old Dear Abby columns, cross dressing is not an indication of homosexuality. It apparently is a fetish and most are perfectly heterosexual with no gay tendencies. Of course there are gays who do this too, but one would hope they would be with their boyfriends not looking for women. It would po me if he looked better than I did, tho

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 94 (view)

The Desparation of Internet Males Posted: 3/9/2006 9:29:03 AM
What kind of woman does that? A prostitute comes to mind. As for the OP, given the trashy come on, I can't blame her for her response. He treated her like she was trash - she flippantly responded. She made no promises and don't forget, she made no call to confirm that she was "for real" to this jerk. He got what he deserved.

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

is it normal to think of your ex while in a relationship?? Posted: 3/9/2006 8:41:31 AM
I once had to travel with a guy who repeatedly reacted to crap his ex gave him in a similar situation as if I had done it. Not cool - I didn't do it and I didn't appreciated being put into her shoes when it had nothing to do with me. I guess he had some issues, but geesh we were just coworkers. Transference is not a good thing. Learning from previous relationships is a good thing.

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 29 (view)

Total pettyness if you ask me ... Posted: 3/9/2006 7:43:34 AM
I may have a different situation, but my insurance covers my car regardless of who drives it and covers me regardless of what car I'm driving. I wouldn't buy any other kind. Also, I think the laws vary from state to state. Many states require insurance and require a certain amount of coverage. As for the relationship - there must have been more to it than this. This had to have just been the expression of deeper resentments and those are the real reason for the breakup. These little transgressions were just the excuse for a breakup that was waiting to happen anyway.

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 24 (view)

Do women make more bad choices a relationships Posted: 3/9/2006 7:27:31 AM
If the forum is any indication, I'd have to say it's 50/50.

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Time spent together Posted: 3/9/2006 6:05:24 AM
Me personally, I need alone time and start to feel suffocated if I don't get it. So there is too much togetherness. At first 2-3 times a week is good or even just weekends during the exploration phase. If you are talking about that first love phase when you are really into each other, 2-3 times a week is healthy for me. Like I said, I need some time to just be alone with myself.

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

the mystery of femininity Posted: 3/9/2006 5:57:02 AM
You must have earned a great deal of her trust to have had such a moment with your daughter. As another said, that milestone is awkward enough when its your mother with you, who intrinscally shares all that it means. Real researchers have tried to answer that question - what is feminity and what is masculinity. When the scientific method is applied, what they come up with is the differences between individuals is much greater than the differences between the sexes. There are really very few absolute differences - the obvious sex differences but little else. There's a huge range of talent, interests, and personality differences between people of either sex, but none of that is exclusive to one or the other sex. Which is a good thing because that means most of the perceived differences are only cultural or personal preferences. And there probably is someone of the opposite sex who fits well with you. If only we can find him or her....

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

pets, hygiene, compromise? Posted: 3/9/2006 5:42:55 AM
Mine are about as healthy as animals can be and they still shed. The supplements only work for animals that haven't already got a good diet. They will reduce shedding to normal amounts but not completely. We shed too. All mammals shed. I put a sheet on top of my bed covers to collect the animal fur and wash it every week. If I were Martha Stewart, I'd change it every day, but ... I don't think you can keep a cat out of a room unless you close the door all the time. 1 time its open and they go to investigate. Maybe those scat mats might work - the ones that shock them. But they might figure out how to jump over them. I'd just like to know how to keep cats from fighting.

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

pets, hygiene, compromise? Posted: 3/8/2006 1:22:22 PM
I asked my vet about trimming a long furred cat and she said no problem if he'll let you. I also wipe them down with a damp cloth, but I have allergies. You can get more fur out with damp hands or brushes. Sometimes, it seems like more fur comes off than there was animal. There are rubber nubby combs that seem to get more fur off. I've started just trimming my dog 2-3 times per year to get the fur off all at once. I use electric hairclippers. There's still lots of fur in my house. Its the unseen dander that bothers me.

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

RE: Delicacy of courtship Posted: 3/8/2006 11:23:29 AM
Prettyfrock, there are a few of us. I didn't see the most recent movie - it sounded like it made too many revisions for me. Jane Austen didn't need any "help"

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

high vs. low Maintence Posted: 3/8/2006 11:15:47 AM
Yeah, it needs defining. I like to maintain myself, thankyou very much.

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

RE: Delicacy of courtship Posted: 3/8/2006 10:51:04 AM
Jump, Actually the movie was about the middle class in the early 19th century England. The hero was very wealthy but the heroine was decidly not. And her father had negligently not saved to help them out. Jane Austen was a very effective skewerer of her society's foibles. But point taken. In the book, there was mention of the plight of the lower working classes when gossip mentioned the cad had meddled with all the young women in the town. And of course by inference, their families had no recourse at all. The inference Austen meant was that such women were usually ruined and ended up prostitutes. A rather ugly end for a bit of fun from a lying cad. That's why his behavior was so scandalous - it really had dire consequences for the women he dallies with.

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

when is....... Posted: 3/8/2006 10:38:21 AM
My rule is... when you start asking the question, then its all downhill and you might as well throw in the towel. Take a long cold look at how you are being treated and does this treatment make you happy or crazy? Only you can say when enuf is enuf.

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Anti-desperation Posted: 3/8/2006 10:28:41 AM
Sounds like there was no hope. She does need to get some self-respect. You need to pursue women you are actually attracted to. It really wasn't fair of you to pretend.

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

Dating your first love again....Can it work??? Posted: 3/8/2006 10:11:40 AM
The answer depends on why you broke up in the first place. If you broke up because of some incompatibility thing, it will come back. You are the same 2 people with 25 years more experience so what didn't work before will not work now. On the other hand, if you broke up because of external circumstances and not because you were unhappy in one form or another, you may just have found your true love again and the shared young years will just make it sweeter. For me, I have always been glad I didn't marry my first love. We re-met again 25 years later and rekindled the friendship but I was amused to find I had none of the old romantic feelings for him at all. In our case, we had a really good friendship and really should have left it at that.

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

RE: Delicacy of courtship Posted: 3/8/2006 9:48:15 AM
Nevertheless, the parents were expected to pay a man to take their daughter so they were in effect, buying a husband for her. In that society, men were just as mercenary as women in the marriage market. I'll take my independence any day... In P&P, at the end, that's just what Mr. Darcy did to rescue the wayward and stupid younger sister - he bought out the cad to make him marry her and thus keep his own love in good enough standing so he could try to marry her. The wild romance part is that Darcy loved Lizzy so much that he did that just to save her reputation without having much hope of ever winning her for himself. And never told her about it either.'

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Choose the form of your creator... Posted: 3/8/2006 9:41:00 AM
I think I have to go with Commonsens on this one...

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

RE: Delicacy of courtship Posted: 3/8/2006 9:39:04 AM
No, no, you have it backwards. The dowry system means the parents pay a man to marry their daughter - they bought the husband, who then owned his wife and all her assets unless there was a legal thing her family had to prevent his controlling her assets.

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Delicacy of courtship Posted: 3/8/2006 6:07:47 AM
But remember, women gave such subtle signals that Mr. Collins actually thought he was all Lizzy could want when the opposite was the case. Even Mr. Darcy misread her signals because a well bred woman was evenly nice to everyone regardless of how she felt. Jane was also misread as not caring for Mr. Bingley because she hid her regard too well. And those that were obvious (Lydia) were easy prey for the cads and only cads were interested in them (temporarily). There's got to be a middle ground.

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 30 (view)

Intuitions Posted: 3/8/2006 5:57:02 AM
Yes, synaesthesia. I wondered because she said she saw things no one else does and mentioned colors. I was wondering if the "energy" thing she says she's attuned to would be a form of the synaesthesia or correlated with it. Yes, I've read that it is another way of processing the information in the senses and that they have found some brain differences in people with it compared to those without it.

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

JOh, you're not THEIR type. Posted: 3/8/2006 5:36:44 AM
Assuming that you don't really know each other very well, as the hypothetical situation you posed is you two were not hitting it off. When I introduce someone to my friends, I am, as it were, vouching for them. If I meet you and I don't like you very much, why would I inflict you on my friends? That is an entirely different situation where I am friends with both people - I know you, I'm not attracted to you or you to me for whatever reason, but I like you well enough and think you are a decent person, then introducing you to my friends would be a good thing.

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

Intuitions Posted: 3/8/2006 4:57:42 AM
jennafeeh, Are you one of those people who see colors when you hear music and other sounds? I read about this ability. My mother claims she does, but I do not.

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Given a choice..what would you choose? Posted: 3/8/2006 4:39:13 AM
Joe Hardworking Schmo as long as he was also witty and intelligent! Substance over flash any day.

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 80 (view)

Astrology Posted: 3/7/2006 1:39:32 PM
Anecdotal tales do not make it a science. Science must be provable using a rational test and removing personal bias. There are things people believe in that science can neither prove nor disprove. They aren't science just because lots of people believe in them. Lots of people believe in god. That doesn't make the belief science. Neither can science disprove god. Such a thing is outside of science. Indians used the moons to count time and the stars to navigate. That isn't astrology. Planting by the moon also isn't astrology. Believe in it if you like, just quit calling it science. And if you do believe in it, know enough about it to know what it is and isn't!

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 50 (view)

WHY AM I NOT GETTING ANY BITES... AT ALL Posted: 3/7/2006 1:22:55 PM
It is pretty obvious he doesn't really want any advice since he has rejected the advice he's gotten and done so not very nicely. Speaks volumes.

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 77 (view)

Astrology? for life and love... Posted: 3/7/2006 1:07:48 PM
Ditto to what Bike man said. My only point is that it is not science. If it works for you, if it gives you comfort, if it gives you a method for making sense of the world and it harms no one, fine. But it is a philosophy/belief system - not science.

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

is there only one person for us?? Posted: 3/7/2006 12:39:15 PM
Ok Summer Teeth, are you really Jeffery Dahlmer? I have read a theory that your soulmate is one who has something to teach you and therefore might not be someone with whom you could live happily ever after. I guess that's along the lines of be careful what you wish for... I think the answer is somewhere in the middle. You can't make just about anyone into your true love if only both of you follow the fair play rules set up by all those self-help books. But neither is there only person on this planet who could be your true love. Now, just where do I find him?

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

Do they ever come back? Posted: 3/7/2006 12:19:46 PM
You may have a good point, welcome to my world... People do try when the sparks aren't really there.

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

WHEN IS IT TO SOON TO HEAR THE WORDS I LOVE YOU Posted: 3/7/2006 12:00:54 PM
When it falls flat or makes the recipient nervous.

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

Was I wrong? Posted: 3/7/2006 11:59:29 AM
Nope. But you should have asked for a doggie bag and enjoyed your dinner at home instead of going to McDonalds

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 37 (view)

E-Harmony Posted: 3/7/2006 11:43:38 AM
I signed up with eharmony to see what their personality profile said. Then they offered a real free month - no credit card needed. They matched me up with exactly 1 local person and no others. I went thru their process and fairly quickly determined we really had nothing in common. I declined all their pay offers especially after finding quite a lot of accusations of them continuing to charge credit cards after they were told to take a person off. That's just fraud and a danger with most of the paid sites. They continued to make me lots of matches on the order of 2-3 a month for a couple of years but of course, I couldn't do anything about them. Out of that, I think there was exactly one that looked like that there was any possibility at all. And I think only 1 guy ever requested communication from me and I wasn't very interested in him. I figure that is about the rate of paid members and the rest were just the curious liek me who wouldn't part with their credit cards. I also objected to not having any control over the selection. I read the guy running it is a jesus freak. He decided that men want younger women so he mandates matches 15 years older for women. I think that's his personal preference and does this to justify his own inclinations - what anybody personally wants be damned. I think it is a money making gambit with a twist as a lure, but not really an different. And it is really expensive to have so little choice.

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Intuitions Posted: 3/7/2006 11:03:44 AM
I have learned to go with my gut, especially when it is an emotional decision. Every time in my life that I have given someone "the benefit of the doubt" because I didn't have hard data to make a rational decision and my gut or intuition was saying "danger, danger!", I have regretted it. My theory is that "intuition" is nothing more than rapid subconscious processing of all data including body language, tone of voice, metamessages, etc. that you don't really process on a conscious level.

tesaje

Joined: 1/13/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

Do they ever come back? Posted: 3/7/2006 10:56:13 AM
She should give it up and move on with her life. A feeling of being soul mates and right for each other that is not returned is just a fantasy. She should give up on the fantasy man she built out of her boyfriend and find another man who feels the same way about her that she feels about him. He got over her quickly because he got over her a long time ago. It took him a while to come to the realization that he could not make himself love her and he needed to get out. That he did so honestly and without having the new relationship while he was still with her is to his credit. She is kidding herself and still running on the fantasy man with saying he just couldn't commit. What he just couldn't do is make himself return her love. He tried. He was honest. Too bad for her, but basically, cry in your pillow, try to figure out why you didn't see it coming and just made up the fantasy man, and move on. He is gone.

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