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IllegalSmile

Joined: 3/21/2009

Msg: 40 (view)

Bitchy? Posted: 7/10/2009 8:59:39 PM
I think you should change the “I don’t need a guy who is a professional” to “it isn’t necessary to me that a man be a professional.” I don’t ‘need’ a guy sounds defensive. Say, I’d “like” to be with … instead of I’d “rather” be with… This has a less dismissive tone. Consider rephrasing the infamous sentence to “Somebody who will enjoy treating me like a lady…” It suggests choice rather than ability. Take out the “obviously” this takes time… and replace it with “since this takes time…” Because it's gentler. Best of luck and I think you handled all the criticism like a perfect lady!

IllegalSmile

Joined: 3/21/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

My Profile Posted: 7/10/2009 8:17:06 PM
We need a smiling photo. Also, it’s a little accomplishment-heavy and light on enjoyment and pleasure realization.

IllegalSmile

Joined: 3/21/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Suggestions Posted: 7/10/2009 8:09:58 PM
Wow, This is not good! Not good at all! I would scratch the whole thing and begin again and don't say anything about what you don't like! Don't tell us to "just ask." We need to know about you or we're going to delete your email and find somebody who we don't have to ask about. Having BBQ with friends is the only thing Id' keep. Consider just saying you like the outdoors unless you are locked into finding a girl who hunts and fishes.

IllegalSmile

Joined: 3/21/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

My profile Posted: 7/4/2009 5:16:29 PM
It's still a bit much. I loved the: "I don't like this," "I don't like that," "I'm not into this I'm not in to that" and then you say, "Just ask, I'm open to everything." :) Seriously, you can find out most of that stuff through the first couple of emails and you don't risk putting off the right "one" with all your demands.

IllegalSmile

Joined: 3/21/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Confused Profile Editing Posted: 7/1/2009 7:56:54 PM
Haha. I think you're funny! swings :)

IllegalSmile

Joined: 3/21/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

A review of my profile would be much appreciated Posted: 6/29/2009 9:27:10 PM
Need a smiling photo!

IllegalSmile

Joined: 3/21/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Confused Profile Editing Posted: 6/29/2009 9:23:08 PM
I'm not sure its "supposed to be" both sides, it’s actually supposed to be for people who want our help. Why do you feel it is conceit that causes the imbalance? Maybe it's actually insecurity or fear. Its not easy to ask for criticism, let’s not judge THAT too!

IllegalSmile

Joined: 3/21/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Is my profile ok? Posted: 6/29/2009 9:02:20 PM
We need a big smiling photo as your primary shot! I like the first and second paragraph –very sweet. Take out the “…don’t like reading.” It’s not true, you like Harry Potter so leave that part! List out a few of your favorite movies and songs or recording artists -we need to know more about you. I know it’s hard but you have to write more about yourself. Your profile is generic; it describes almost every man out there. What makes you different? You are a very nice looking fellow, you just need a more detailed, interesting profile. Good luck!

IllegalSmile

Joined: 3/21/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

review and help me Posted: 6/29/2009 8:43:51 PM
Please don’t tell us "not to bother." We want to believe you are nice, this should be re-phrased so it says the same thing but in a kind manner. Take out the no drama part. It’s a given and even the biggest drama queen in the world is not going to stop herself from contacting you just because you say so! Fix Bar “scene” not “seen” and the many other typos, punctuation issues and misspellings. Nice smiling photos! Good luck!

IllegalSmile

Joined: 3/21/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

could i get reviews please??? Posted: 6/29/2009 8:29:17 PM
You’re a very handsome young man -would like to see you smile though! Take out the “dirty” blonde hair and use dark blond. Recovering bad boy sounds sophomoric and sends a red flag. Nothing wrong with a troubled past but let it come out slowly and in person over time. Don’t tell people you can act like an idiot. Take out the “I want a girl…. laid back but driven” and then the line where you argue with yourself about it. You must show us that you know what you want, otherwise: SCARY. Make sure your “I want list” is not longer than your “about me list.” I liked the “…nurture the spirit..” part and I think you sound like a real catch! Good luck!

IllegalSmile

Joined: 3/21/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

How does the 'nice guy' get noticed pt2 Posted: 6/25/2009 7:53:07 PM
Beautiful! Where’s the smiling photo, though? I want to see TEETH!

IllegalSmile

Joined: 3/21/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Should I change it again? Posted: 6/25/2009 7:48:52 PM
Hi, "I can be crazy" should come out right away. All the things you "can be" are things everybody can be so it doesn’t tell us very much. Take out everything up to the good listener part. Maybe take the second sentence, and elaborate more, what kind of gardening? Where to when you ride your bike? Do you read at the beach, what else do you do there? Also, I'd shorten the part about what you want in a man and tone it down to be less emotionally focused or mix in some things guys can identify with. It shouldn't be longer or better thought out than the "about me" section, in my opinion. Your photos are great, nice smile! Best of luck to you!

IllegalSmile

Joined: 3/21/2009

Msg: 1591 (view)

can non-pot smokers handle pot smokers? Posted: 6/24/2009 7:11:28 PM
I don't but I support people if they chose to. :) I would find if difficult to reach common ground with somebody who hates or judges others for this perfectly normal desire to feel good. Therefore, I wouldn't date somebody who wouldn't date me if I did! ha!

IllegalSmile

Joined: 3/21/2009

Msg: 20 (view)

hitting on girls while they're working... exciting or tacky? Posted: 6/24/2009 12:23:08 PM
Since most people on the job don't want to be seen flirting and being coy by their co-workers, one should be direct. Tell her you are interested in her and would she consider going to lunch. Accept a yes or no and move on appropriately. To flirt and be indirect leaves both of you with no clear path to go down.

IllegalSmile

Joined: 3/21/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

girls i need to know Posted: 6/23/2009 4:04:20 PM
I'm a fan of that compliment!

IllegalSmile

Joined: 3/21/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

How many messages before you ask for face to face? Posted: 6/22/2009 6:28:50 PM
I'm done with email after the 3rd or 4th!

IllegalSmile

Joined: 3/21/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

What is an acceptable response to say your not my type? Posted: 6/20/2009 8:11:55 AM
I don't respond at all. I feel it's the kindest way and how I would want to be treated (if I ever was the initiator). I have never gotten an angry 2nd email. The politest "Thanks we're not a match" risks hurting somebody - with no response, there's just not that risk.

IllegalSmile

Joined: 3/21/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

please help mebythesea Posted: 6/19/2009 5:59:47 PM
Lily, You ARE adorable! OP, it IS a shame you can't get your head around posting a photo. I never look at a profile without one. GOOD LUCK to you!

IllegalSmile

Joined: 3/21/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Not sure what I'm doing wrong...advice anyone? Posted: 6/19/2009 5:42:37 PM
Definitely need more about you or else the paragraph about what you want should be shortened. Tell us why you like dogs, tell us what’s in you CD player, you like patio season, tell us what you do outdoors. Take out one of the first two sentences, we only want to know you’re struggling a bit to write no need to expand on it. The “what you want paragraph” is too long. I’m not a fan of profiles that have this. But if you must, I would shorten it. Remove the part about intelligence and most of the stuff you can find out in initial contact. Good luck!

IllegalSmile

Joined: 3/21/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

Am I out of line with this one? Posted: 6/19/2009 5:17:03 PM
It's pretty mean and there are a number of spelling and punctuation errors. This is not a big deal unless you are very vocal about your education requirements, as you are. I would have somebody edit it for you or you risk appearing foolish.

IllegalSmile

Joined: 3/21/2009

Msg: 18 (view)

not calling Posted: 6/19/2009 5:07:04 PM
I like this method. It would certainly stop me if I was having the same problem. I'll be filing it away for later!

IllegalSmile

Joined: 3/21/2009

Msg: 23 (view)

Who pays for a cancelled LD trip? Posted: 6/14/2009 7:16:09 PM
So, she gets a trip credit AND keeps your cash? How is that NOT stealing?

IllegalSmile

Joined: 3/21/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

Asking for some help, Ladies Only Please Posted: 6/13/2009 11:56:41 AM
Did you mean you're the one on the left in the rollercoaster photo?

IllegalSmile

Joined: 3/21/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

How long should messages be? Posted: 6/11/2009 8:03:12 PM
I almost always delete one sentence messages. If I don't, it's because the profile was outstanding. Even a great looking guy won't be spared if his message is too short. (she grins, says "what double meaning?"). A paragraph mentioning something in her profile thaat caught your eye is good. I will always respond if a guy made an effort!

IllegalSmile

Joined: 3/21/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

Would you rather I not respond, or respond with rejection Posted: 6/8/2009 11:05:16 AM
When a fellow contacts me and I know I'm not interested, I have been deleting the message without response. My reason is this allows him to chose the reason that makes him feel the best about himself instead of my spelling it out with an "I'm not interested." It's the way I would want to be treated so I treat others that way too. What are some other opinions on this, please? FYI, I wouldn't be untruthful, with an "I've met somebody" just to save feelings either.

IllegalSmile

Joined: 3/21/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

Have read the tips, now for some reviews...pretty please? Posted: 6/8/2009 10:41:12 AM
You don't have to be upfront about this in your profile. You can chose not to respond to women who don't meet your criteria. My profile makes no demands about what I'm looking for and I like it that way because I want to be the judge of who I think I'm compatible with. If he has love handles but is hysterically funny and loves animals, I'll overlook them! If I say no love handles well, my loss!

IllegalSmile

Joined: 3/21/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

any opinons/advice about my profile would be welcome Posted: 6/5/2009 3:20:24 PM
I like that you took the time to really write a lot about yourself and I feel like I learned something. But, you absolutely MUST sort the grammar, punctuation and capitilization. If you don't have the patience for it, get somebody else to edit for you. Now I'M worried I made a mistake in this post since I'm being so persnickety about it. :) Best of luck!

IllegalSmile

Joined: 3/21/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Some help with my profile please? Posted: 6/5/2009 3:08:54 PM
You are a very pretty and mature young lady. I would suggest some pictures of you smiling. Also, ditch the cake photo and the word "wasted. " And reword the "I know what I have to do to get it" and "I know I'm strong enough..." to something softer like "I am comfortable reaching for my goals." Good luck!

IllegalSmile

Joined: 3/21/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

why cant I seem to get any dates? Posted: 6/5/2009 1:06:41 PM
You're a good looking young man but you're upset and the pain comes through in your profile. I would start over on a day when you feel great and can smile while you type a new one. List a few things you like and why you like them. Recall compliments you've been given and recite those too. Have a friend take some pictures. Holding the camera out and snapping your face doesn't create a natural shot. Good luck!

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