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 Author Thread: leashes?
 Just. Me.
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 207 (view)
 
leashes?
Posted: 5/1/2009 12:50:02 PM
To notasnowballs, good work going through with the punishment. My son used to try that when he was a toddler and like the poster after you stated I had to learn very quickly that 2 is enough. I saw parents counting 1, 2, 3, and the kid would know more numbers come along in public. So I started counting backwards... 3, 2, 1, spanking. It got to a point where I didn't even have to say no, I would just look at him and count...

There were times as he grew he would try to see how far he could go... seeing other parents not in control fuled his curiosity... and he would try pushing but he failed each time. If we were in a state where no spanking is allowed I would march him right up to a corner in the store and put him in time out right in front of everyone... I got dirty a$$ looks but I glared at everyone who gave them with a go ahead and challange me b!tch stare. LOL

My son learned very fast that the only person hurting from his behavior was him.

It was no cake walk, there were days I wanted to run and hide... but us parents don't get that luxury, we have to do what is best for our children... Kudos to all you parents, regardless of the temperment of your child... It is the most challenging job a person can have and if done at least remotely correct the most rewarding job as well...

My son is now 13, very wise and respectful, and still allowed free thought and expression... so when we talk about things in his past he thanks me for doing such a great job. I asked him once in the car not too long ago, "Do you ever look back and think I was ever too hard on you? Do you have any moments you think you were treated unfare, or abused?" He thinks a moment and states, "When we were at the hotel in Utah and you screamed at me because I was throwing a tantrum in public. You had never used harsh words before and that really hurt me, but I try not to think about it." Out of his whole 13 years the one moment I truelly messed up as a parent he feels pain from... I wanted to cry, but at the same time it shocked me that all the other punishments of spanking... never hurt his feelings... the time I spoke harshly to him did. Just so everyone understands... we are not talking about me saying things like you messed up... I litterally had an emotional breakdown and told him that at that moment I could not stand him. I won't even state what he did that lead up to that, because no matter what he did, aside from murder, he did not deserve me telling him that. Even though at the moment it was true and I was litterally that angry... I am the parent and should have been more in control.

Even one time does children some damage. Those words stick in his head... so now every time he is ever depressed he will hear that, instead of all the I love yous and other possitives that I have always said to him...

When he was around 2 he would get mad because I would not let him have his way and he tried the I hate you meathod on me, and I would turn to him and say, "you have a right to your feelings, you have a right to hate me, but I want you to know I still love you no matter how much you hate me." Then I would take his and again and keep walking... with-in a few seconds he would hold my hand tighter and say, "I love you mom"

If only I had kept that self control when we were on vacation in Utah. Ugh!

Anyway... my point is, punishing them in public does not harm them, saying hurtful things does... people who think a damn slapping of the hand is abuse need to stop assuming and start asking the children when they are older if it really hurt them or not... like the now older kids... who's parents used harnessis and who punished kids in public... I think they would find kids respect us for giving them bounderies and making them stay within those boundries, dispite any embarresment on our part.

The other thing I have learned is open communication will trump any mistakes a parent has made... my son being able to tell me what he felt, helped me realize just how wrong I was, and be able to focus on never doing that again.

And it let him see that I care enough about him to ask his feelings, and improve as a parent.

I love beiing a mom! :)

Good work to all you parents who care so much that your protect your children even when you have to take people being mean to you. :)
 Just. Me.
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 79 (view)
 
My gf’s crazy fantasy
Posted: 4/30/2009 11:47:09 PM
Dave, you had said (not quoting since I use my phone and don't have that ability) women want a caveman... This is the theory I was typing about... thus using two women who like to play rape with each other, no men wanted....

As I said b4 the rest of what you wrote nailed it... I just detected to much Sigmond F. (dick envy) in there... lol.

The basic need to have someone else take control for a bit is not male/female... it is for any sex.

Thank you for replying though... I had not realized my earlier post was not clear on that point...
 Just. Me.
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 53 (view)
 
Are there some women that PREFER bald guys over guys with hair?
Posted: 4/29/2009 11:02:52 PM
For me it depends on the individual... there have been guys who I looked at and said he would look better bald.

It really is appealing on some men!
 Just. Me.
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 201 (view)
 
leashes?
Posted: 4/28/2009 2:24:45 AM
I have a question for Miz q and the other posters who think like she does. She stated "- think they replace something else that should be happening." Do you also then feel that walkers (replacing a parent standing the child back up over and over to teach walking and/or keeping baby amused), swings (replacing the mother's and/or father's rocking baby when nothing else works and/or to keep baby amused), bottles (breast feeding even if the mother runs out of milk and it is just to give the baby a tiny bit of water), musical toys in the crib (that sooth a baby to sleep so the parents can have a break once in a while), and other helpful (if used in moderation- meaning none of these are used to replace parents only to give them a break here and their... yes some parents abuse them and use them to much but obviously this parent was using it in moderation... For crying out loud she didn't strap her kid to a bike rack and go shopping like pet owners do... she still holds the child's hand at other times... just not when paying and stuff like that...) tools that parent's use now days are replacing something else that should be happening? Does this mean your child will never watch Television? Since television could be said to replace interaction with the family, reading, and/or educational activities. Does this also mean your child will only play board games and not video games?

Seriously, does it just strike people as odd because pets also have leashes? Like I said before she is not leashing her child up and walking away... she is still watching him... but she is using it for extra protection... I never thought people would mock someone for having extra protection... what's next?

You Go Mom! Not everyone can be super woman 24-7... better safe then have yet anouther mom of a missing child.. or worse... Kudos to you!
 Just. Me.
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Orgasm Problems!
Posted: 4/28/2009 1:12:51 AM
I have two suggestions that I can think about this late at night... 1st... keep experementing, it seems you have found a few ways maybe you will find more... 2nd purchace some special lotions that make things more sensitive in the important area... a female friend of mine had this same problem she went to a private company called slumber parties (private in that the people come to you, so you don't have to go to a sex store...) and bought something I can't recall the name but a sales person would know it... and it worked better than store bought stuff (stronger) and she reported to me (because it had been me who introduced her to my sales lady ) that it worked...

Each person is different so I am sure there are going to be people those lotions did not work for, but hey anything is worth a try, well almost anything. LOL

Hope some posters have more input... my brain is shutting down because it is way past my normal bedtime.

Good Luck sweetie.
 Just. Me.
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 62 (view)
 
My gf’s crazy fantasy
Posted: 4/27/2009 11:16:40 PM
Oh and about Val2014 who said your a bad parent for having a photo of your child while being on a dating sight... saying your showing your child to online preditors... Um same could be said about your Dog being in your photo... way more people comit beastiality than you think lady! Just a thought!

Ok, so people probably are not going oooh that dog is sexy... but seriously though... that is something you should have mentioned to him in private... not all rude on a public forum...
 Just. Me.
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 61 (view)
 
My gf’s crazy fantasy
Posted: 4/27/2009 11:09:52 PM
Both Dave and Sepia777 are correct, except Dave puts way too much into it being a man/woman thing... because to 100% gay women would still role play that with each other, no man included, which blows his theory out of the water... The most I see this is when a women has to be in charge so much, work, kids, sometimes home, finances... the list can go on... once in a while it just feels good to not be in control, to be taken... And as mentioned desired at a primal level... (it just doesn't have to be a guy/girl thing) I have a sister who is um what's the saying lipstick lesbian with her best friend (both hot neither one the guy role) and sometimes it is her who wants to be raped, and sometimes her girlfriend it just depends on who had a ruff week...)

And Sepia777 nailed it... if your not a fetish person by nature and call her desires crazy... your not the guy for her and she is not the girl for you... she is not going to stop having the desires, so the only changes that can happen is you develope into a fetish person also or figure out that you two won't work out... because she has a need and if you won't fill it there are plenty of other men who will.

I don't mean that in a rude way... I just mean to be blunt and keep you from hurting her in the long run by pretending to be something your not or by trying to make her change.

If you do try it and like it then that just means you had not ventured out sexually enough and that there are probably a lot more adventures in store for you!

Also the posters that said get it in writing or on tape... actually good advice! Better safe than sorry.
 Just. Me.
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 47 (view)
 
When you have a long sex break is your drive goes up or down?
Posted: 4/25/2009 2:26:33 PM
Good topic. I'm glad to see women talking about this stuff.

The only time I ever had a drop in drive was when I lost my Nonna (Grandmother in Italian) I was so sick with sadness that I ignored all my guy friends for months!

When my happiness returned my sex drive returned.
 Just. Me.
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 202 (view)
 
Why does carrying protection on my person at all times make me a whore?!
Posted: 4/24/2009 7:52:50 AM
Oh. Don't get me wrong...
I never leave home with out them. I was just mocking my own sillyness for having made an assumption...

I'm a silly but confident person so when I catch myself doing something like making assumptions I call myself out on it... and I am not bashful, doesn't bother me that others know... We are all human...

Back to condums issue... Condums are so important to me that I use them dispite my allergy to them. (Latex) Thankfully it is only a mild allergy, meaning it takes a few hours of contact to become an issue.

Sex with one person is better, but when that is not the situation... condum time with a close friend or two... (not at same time... although I have in my youth... lol)
 Just. Me.
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 58 (view)
 
orgasm count, is he lying??
Posted: 4/24/2009 12:30:36 AM
That is funny you should mention men using the increased blood flow to forget petty BS concerns... I am the same way but a female. I am always telling all my stressed out friends to just have sex. Sex is the cure for everything for me anyway... sad, have sex, stressed, have sex, angry, have sex, bored have sex, need a good workout have sex. It clears my mind, poors (skin... you know the after great sex glow women get!), and sends all those endorphines though the body... In a short story book I wrote I wrote a story named how to get drunk without alcohol and anouther that is titled who needs coffee? Both talk about sex and the reactions they produce... On one hand having the multiples causes me to feel drunk with pleasure and a nice morning wake up ride without multiples wakes me up for the entire day... LOL

I did know one woman when I was about 18 who never felt anything during sex even when with a guy who had skills (I know because I had been with him first and knowing her delima (and he and I were not together) I told her to try him... still nada damn thing. I couldn't understand at that age, I thought it had to be torchure for her, but I suppose if you never know what it is your missing... then what was she missing?

All the other women I know are like me... birds of a feather flock together I suppose... LOL. They are all married now. happy hubbies thats for sure. LOL
 Just. Me.
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
orgasm count, is he lying??
Posted: 4/23/2009 12:39:05 AM
I just have to comment on this one...

Are the poster's in here serious when they don't believe women can orgasm that many times?

I only feel pitty that they have not been blessed with women who are multi-orgasmic...

It is true that we are rare but that does not mean because someone has not seen or experienced it it is not real.

And I just love how when the few who have experienced it post! Hopefully those who are in disbelief will see the light.

As someone said though, it is not the man who makes the woman have more than normal, she is the mirrical not him.

So if you never had multi orgasms he will not be able to make you have them.
 Just. Me.
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 190 (view)
 
Why does carrying protection on my person at all times make me a whore?!
Posted: 4/22/2009 5:38:56 PM
I am laughing not at the post but at the fact that I thought this was a woman who posted this at first and at myself for having a spark of bias.

My mind started to ask the question... what would the responces have been if it had been a woman poster?

I'm having a moment. Don't mind me. Spent to much time in these forums today. LOL
 Just. Me.
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 220 (view)
 
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 4/22/2009 4:19:40 PM
I have a child and the way I see it is men are grown children need nurturing but to put it in terms of a race or status is un fare to any person. Maybe saying each has a different part of you would be best. Sure I would cancel a date if my son was injured same as I would cancel a mother son thing if my guy was injured.

I personally give my son 1 weekend day to be all his and 1 to be all the guy I am serious with days to my son nights to the guy... No one gets hurt...

It is true, what a previous poster said, children will not be in the house forever, but they are there now and it is the parent's job to raise them.

And a child even grown will take care of his parent if injured much faster than a guy who you just started dating.

It is just a matter of balance. I agree with the poster's who said if the parent cannot find balance then he, or she, should hold off dating until the children are grown.

Children are to be raised with boundries and should understand that Adults have needs also including the need for friendship, companions...

I have a mother who went to far one way putting her man over her children even when he was extremely wrong and she ended up being hated by her own children and the man never gave a sh-it that she did that anyway he just uses her and mentally abuses her. I have seen parents spoil there children and not tend to there significant other and loose the significant other to someone who will pay attention...

In all things there remains a need for balance.
 Just. Me.
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 735 (view)
 
Are there ANY women who don't CHEAT?
Posted: 4/22/2009 3:16:46 PM
I see this a lot with the people I counsel. I start to ask questions about patterns in choices the person who has been cheated on makes. After 5 it is time to evaluate and asses all the similar patterns. You choose a type of woman. Something about them was the same in all 5 something that attracted you... the only way to be 100% sure it doesn't happen again is to never date... but you can increase your odds by taking out a pen and paper and actually think about all the things that were the same with each of the 5 women. Not just the bad things that made it obvious they were cheating... but the things that attracted you too them as well. Make sure to write down ALL the similarities, behaviors, actions, but not looks because there are women and men of any look cheat not just the pretty ones. Common ones I hear my clients talk about are the speed in which things moved along, the amount of flattery given, the frequency of calls/texts..., those are a few things that seem to have no bearing on the situation but for those individuals when they put all the patterns together they found out what it was that was attracting them to the cheating type. Unfortunatly MOST of the people I have spoken to have been women who have been cheated on, only two males, and there is a difference in patterns for each person...

If you ever decide to try again I suggest you try finding out what the cheating women's commonalities were first and choosing a woman without those traits.

And whatever you do... don't chase her away with thinking she is cheating because the other women did.
 Just. Me.
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 342 (view)
 
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/22/2009 2:55:27 PM
I do Have a question for the person who has a law degree... How does Las Vegas fit in to your statement that any sex with someone drunk is rape? People here have sex drunk more than sober and get married drunk... hell we have movies about people coming here and getting drunk and married (What happens in Vegas). Does the law in some states differ? Or do police look the other way in States like this one because we would go out of business if the law was followed? I'm not mocking or anything; I really want to know if you know.

Also I want to say good point by anouther poster about the fact that men can't say rape not being fare that is insane! Time to change those laws. Especially since women are now equal in most things... the laws putting people in jail need to be equal as well. No special treatment not when women can cry rape so easily and men stand by helpless. Well not 100% helpless. Not being in the place at all in the first place would prevent a woman crying rape, but should they have to live in such fear? No!
 Just. Me.
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 341 (view)
 
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/22/2009 2:31:26 PM
Having a sister who does this shit on purpose I can tell you some stories. Don't take this as all women who get drunk are doing it for the same reasons or anything rediqulous like that, this is just one person who does it.

This is what she does: She feels sleeping around is sinful so she gets drunk enough to blame it on the alcohol. She happens to get drunk A LOT also. She never clames rape, but when morning comes it never happened the guy is lieing she would never **** him he is not her type. The funny part is she is so hot on the outside that if she became a nicer person she could get any guy she wants, but she doesn't want them unless she is plastered drunk. Go figure.

She happens to be in desperate need of a shrink do to all her emotional problems. Damaged goods. Sucks too... with her great look she is really ugly on the inside. I don't associate with her because she treats men like dirt and her family and anyone else she thinks is not worthy of her friendship like sh-it.

Anyway back to my point... Sleep with sober women so you know they actually want you unless you don't care and just want to sleep with her regardless of if she was actually attracted to you or not...

Beer goggles make men and women sexier, or so I have heard from my sister. I wouldn't know since I don't get drunk and don't treat men like sh-it. Maybe that's why I get the hot guys with out having to get drunk.
 Just. Me.
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 85 (view)
 
Since women will only have casual sex with...
Posted: 4/22/2009 1:58:00 PM
Abelian's comment was perfect.

It does seem the poster sees women as objects. Not only that it reads as though he has double standards. He talks about average women still getting hot guys, then asks if women think men of his looks would get desperate and want them? Non specific over generlization. Some people post just to stir up fights and to release pent up anger and I believe this was the case here. Sometimes these forums are like going to a counselor who you don't have to pay for... if people don't take the posts personally and just see them for what they are it is easier to stay unbiast... As mentioned in a different thread; people have the right to opinions... I just hope these comments in these threads actually help him resolve his issue and learn something about sticking people into his classifications.
 Just. Me.
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 78 (view)
 
Sex with Tall women
Posted: 4/22/2009 1:38:47 PM
Great Topic. Kudos to you.
I am tall never had issues men still toss me around and I am bbw so it just matters how strong the guy is.

Also I read someone who had an issue with men stating there likes and dislikes... the poster said something like women are to short women are to tall women are to fat to thin... and followed it by adding make up your minds... People have tastes. There is nothing wrong with a man or woman prefuring a thin woman over a thick woman short over tall. Why are people mocked for their opinions? Because you don't fit into all the likes? Men and women beed to share their opinions more not in a rude way obviously, but this poster was very kind and openminded for even going out side his comfort zone in the first place.

It is ok to prefure a body type a stature and/or a skin tone, so long as you still show respect and kindness to the people who are not in that catergory.

Instead of wondering why people desire types be glad their is such a rainbow of choices in the world.

That's my feelings anyway.

And its ok to disagree with them, Everyone has the right to their opinions.
 Just. Me.
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 30 (view)
 
WARNINGS!!
Posted: 4/19/2009 11:04:38 AM
As a person who recieves about 15-20 Orgasms every 20-30 min of sex sometimes more It is nearly impossible to warn my guy. His only way of knowing climax from normal shouts of pleasure is by the tightening of the muscles and by my shouts at him not to stop or to f harder... I think the only time he has known the difference was when I have double or triple whammys (that's what I call 2-3 orgasms back to back leaving no time to catch my breath in between) because I literaly stop breathing. The first time I did this he got so scared he stopped and I screamed at him. Lol. He knows now not to stop at any cost. LOL. I also know when he is cumming because he too is very vocal and begins to moan and have muscle spasms. We match on the multiple orgasm ability and the noises we make and the size of his equipment is the exact fit to reach all my spots. G-spot, A-spot, D-spot, S-spot and the list goes on! Mmmmm
 Just. Me.
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 323 (view)
 
question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 4/18/2009 12:08:11 AM
That's just it... for each person there is a different reason... some may be racist some may have had bad experiences that created ill feeling for a race... some it is just a matter of what is appealing to the individuals eye... like boob size and hair color...Me personally, I love the way dark skin looks and not light skin. I like dark hair not red or blond. Taste. I have had no worse experiences with one race than the other, that is all about who you surround yourself with in any race, not which race does this or that...
I like this thread because you have good intentions and are not race bashing, nor bashing people who make whatever choices they have the right to make...
Good Job, great topic.
 Just. Me.
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 49 (view)
 
She said smack me So I did.....
Posted: 4/17/2009 11:43:53 PM
I will get right down to the jist of it. Here are a few reasons women like it on the face rather than breast clit and/or a ss. 1. She may be in control in all aspects (or many) and just like to have someone else in control once in a while (I prefer choking for this very same reason). 2nd as strange as this seems she may have been smacked as a child and view it as a good thing (after all parents that are NOT abusive still smack their kids when the kid is missbehaving accordingly - like swearing) They do so out of love not anger or hatred so she may feel possitive about it. 3rd. She may feel she deserves it. Her own demonds so to speak... and the best cure for anything is sex (my opinion and some other people) so you became the cure for what ever ailed her soul. No matter what the situation she wouldn't have asked if she couldn't take a hit. Men think we are these delicate fragile things but it is us who push out the big a ss kids from our wombs (some without medication) we can take way more pain then men think. For us it is not the physical pain but the emotional damage that being hit in an unhealthy way produces that truely injures. My father packed one h ell of a wallup (he was a fighter) even as a child I never broke, never even allowed him to see me cry even when my tooth went through my lip. So if a kid can take a mans punch, she can take a damn slap.
Some other comments caught my eye... biting... I like bites also... women can take the pain people... and if we cannot we say something like ok that's to hard but we don't freak out, unless you do something we did not ask you too. NEVER EVER SLAP A WOMAN unless she asks...
You are very brave for asking about this and obviously have a kind heart if your worried about injuring her... It is not a suprize why she trusted you with her sexual desire. Ask her how hard is too hard... the inner arm is a great practice place as it is also sensitive skin. Plan time with her letting her know you want to learn her pain threshhold and explain how you are going to test it out.
Have fun...
 Just. Me.
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 34 (view)
 
is anal such a big deal anymore and is it enjoyable the first time?
Posted: 4/17/2009 11:22:27 PM
My only three thoughts on this are, size matters (if a man is small probably no pain at all, big d ick may hurt a first timer). 2nd. Lube lube and more lube. 3rd you do the work the 1st time and maybe every time, until you are ready for him to take over... you slide your a ss onto his d ick, don't let him force it in. Your taking a potty on reverse!! Your a ss wants to push it out so this is why you need to work it not him, once the head is in the discumfort goes away and pleasure kicks in.
 Just. Me.
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 33 (view)
 
How to measure your D ick the correct way..
Posted: 4/17/2009 11:08:02 PM
This actually is important... Men lieing about there size is an issue...
Some women's insides are longer than other's, for instance my short sister cannot handle more that 6 1/2 with out it hurting her so her hubby who is that size is the perfect fit... I'm 5'11" and cannot feel anything shy of 8 inches long girth doesn't matter since I work my sh*t out and keep it tight... So sometimes we don't ask to be b*tches, sometimes it is just a matter of getting the right tool for the job. I think men AND women should be more aware of what size their "equipment" is so as to understand better what to look for in a person. Sure people can use a flatblade screwdriver to screw a phillips screw but wouldn't the phillips work best? (I am a bit of a tom boy sorry). Some women may ask because they could not handle bigger only smaller like my sister and if you lied and said 7 you could end up getting passed up by women who only like smaller.
Granted I never heard of anyone who said 4 inches hurt so some people might be sh*it out of luck and want to invest in a pump or like a poster said be extreamly nice and make sure your other skills are top notch and don't be offended if she wants toys... If they made fake d icks that work as good as fake b oobs you wouldn't have as much problems, but until then be honest and don't be afraid to ask the same questios back. People are way too shy/quiet about their sexuality and desires... I mean don't come right out and be rude... time and a place for everything... but when the time is right ask away. I do because most men are not bigger than 8 iches. The average of the nationality I date is 7+... I almost have it down to a science to where I don't have to ask... For example, short guys almost always shorter d icks (under 6ft). Heavy set guys loose inches because of the extra weight down stairs, tall thin guys to athletic mostly have the longest although there are exceptions. Same probably goes for the average woman but not all women... Shorter MAY mean shorter inside, thinner MAY not be able to handle bigger (+inch) d icks... But if anyone has ever seen that small person porn star she can take some so there is always going to be an exception to any rules... If size is an issue on any one perhaps the person should start looking in a catergory that matches their needs as a start.
 Just. Me.
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
what terms of endearment do you use with your partner and when?
Posted: 4/17/2009 10:17:51 PM
I agree with ^^^^^^
I have and probably always will call strangers hun, sweetie...
And this naturally happens when speaking to a significant other. It can be a cultural difference and it could depend on where you start with the pet names... calling someone pooky but when visiting at the job might not be a good idea but at home while shopping... and especially while disagreeing on something (I find it ALWAY lightens the mood when I say honey or sweetie when asking him to do something, or when we disagree) it should be ok.
 
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