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Joined: 1/16/2006

Msg: 66 (view)

The ick factor ... Posted: 3/11/2009 10:01:41 AM
I know what you mean - it's happened to me before on more than one occasion. Sometimes it's subtle appearance issues that she hid in the pics, like bad teeth or a growth on the side of her face away from the camera - sometimes just the way she carries herself, laughs, makes eye contact, etc. I met one woman who was rather tall, 5'9 - she sort of shuffled hunched over with her hands in her pockets, as though she was self-conscious about her height. She also had enormous hands, reminded me of the "Man Hands" epsisode from Seinfeld. She dressed rather badly, in worn out baggy black jeans and running shoes - I am certainly no fashion plate but she looked like she was going to be doing some gardening or something. She was not completely unattractive and we did have a good time talking, but while I wouldn't exactly say it was an "ick" feeling, I just felt no spark whatsoever - she just did not come across as very feminine. As someone else said - I am sure I have been someone else's "ick" factor on occasion too. I met someone who had been a serious runner at one time but let herself go, she was not sloppy fat but carried maybe an extra 30 lbs. When we met I thought we were a good match, I have some extra weight but carry it well - but I think she still had an image of herself as being a fit physical specimen and just didn't feel attraction to an overweight guy.

Joined: 1/16/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

High maintenance definitions Posted: 9/8/2008 11:19:47 AM
I have an example of high-maintenance - a woman I had talked to on and off a while ago, never actually met in person. She told me she had dated a guy she thought was "the one" - this was based on a whole three weeks they had dated - then one day she had a cold and called him to ask him to bring her some juice - and he took a whole TWO HOURS to get it to her. So she dumped him She also had a checklist of things a guy was expected to say / ask during a phone conversation, and once when I didn't ask how her day at work was going (because I thought she only had a minute to talk), she let me know Once when I went a couple months without talking to her I had to jog her memory as to who I was - she said she had inter-met "40 or 50 guys" since last time we had talked - amazing that out of that many guys, no one had met her standards or stuck around The really amazing thing was - from her pics, she wasn't particularly attractive, and had "athletic" as her body type because she was physically active, despite being at least 30-40 lbs overweight. Methinks her opinion of herself was rather inflated - and no, her personality was not all that great either - what a surprise that she was almost 40 and never been married.

Joined: 1/16/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

Rant-brief though Posted: 9/3/2008 8:20:17 AM
^^^^^^^ Hey - I wanted to be a bus driver once - I think I was 6 at the time. Of course, if I recall I also wanted to be a dog somewhere in that general time period . I went so far as to sit under the dinner table and bark. Eventually decided it wasn't for me.

Joined: 1/16/2006

Msg: 84 (view)

Your worst sexual experience Posted: 8/31/2008 1:37:16 AM
Why do some people feel the need to go into a thread whose topic is clearly stated in the subject line, read it then post on how inappropriate the subject matter is? If you are unhappy with a topic, it's simple. Don't click on it! It seems anymore, that what used to be common sense, has somehow gone away - What gives?

Joined: 1/16/2006

Msg: 72 (view)

I'm told I look XX years younger than my age ... Posted: 8/5/2008 10:28:18 PM
I have met a couple of women who definitely did look a lot younger than their age, though neither one stated so in her profile. One was 38 and I told her she could have easily passed for under 30 - the person guessing ages at the state fair agreed and said 29, so we won a stuffed animal One I met last fall was 36 or 37, I don't recall exactly - but I swear she could have passed for 21. Not to say she was particularly attractive - nor particularly pleasant - but she really did look very young, especially since she had a hairstyle and clothes that her high school daughter should have been wearing.

Joined: 1/16/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

First date and she brought along her kids Posted: 8/1/2008 10:02:18 AM
I agree with you 100% sassyaquarius - I would not even be interested in meeting a women who would consider bringing her kids along on an initial meeting.

Joined: 1/16/2006

Msg: 41 (view)

POF SPEAK...?? Posted: 8/1/2008 9:58:02 AM
indehills, I know what you mean about some women being overly suspicious - a while back I had a pic up without my goatee because it was the only full body pic I had at the time, and I had a woman reply to me saying the pics didn't look like the same person (they were less than a year apart) - and I never heard from her again. The funny thing is - she had pics up with completely different hair styles and colors, one of which looked to be 20-30 lbs heavier - in fact, her pics looked far more like two different people than mine.

Joined: 1/16/2006

Msg: 37 (view)

POF SPEAK...?? Posted: 8/1/2008 9:13:14 AM
To those posters complaining about "spelling and grammer" (sic), please learn to spell grammar Kelsey Grammer played Frasier in the TV series of the same name.

Joined: 1/16/2006

Msg: 92 (view)

Reality vs Profile Posted: 7/24/2008 10:03:06 PM
^^^^^^ Not just difficulty in actually reading the posts, but in following the logic and pertinence to the subject at hand. What the Curies and Johnny Depp have to do with the survival of the species and dating among the general populace is not really obvious to me, but whatever.

Joined: 1/16/2006

Msg: 121 (view)

Mensa? anyone? Posted: 7/22/2008 11:46:14 PM
At one time, Mensa accepted SAT scores of 1250 or higher for admission - this was back in the early 90s under the old scale before they adjusted the mean to 500 on each test, whereas when I took it in the early 80s the means were about 425 verbal and 475 math. I looked at their site and they don't mention the SATs now. I guess I went to a pretty decent high school because at least 5 or 6 percent of my class would have qualified that way.

Joined: 1/16/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

ladies' night is dumb Posted: 7/18/2008 1:12:50 AM
A civil rights suit over ladies' nights? Some people have waaaay too much free time on their hands

Joined: 1/16/2006

Msg: 90 (view)

Reality vs Profile Posted: 7/11/2008 11:09:51 PM
Howbig, You win - reading your posts makes my head hurt.

Joined: 1/16/2006

Msg: 87 (view)

Reality vs Profile Posted: 7/11/2008 12:09:06 AM
Hey howbig, Do you actually date or just read books about dating? You do realize that a "knowledge base" accumulated from thousands of years of history would have little or no valaue at all today since the role of women in society has changed so drastically in recent times? Like in the last 50 years. Yes, believe it or not - women are doing things today that they wouldn't have dreamed of 50 years ago - like being doctors, or CEOs of fortune 500 companies, running for president, or even - GASP! - asking guys out on dates!!

Joined: 1/16/2006

Msg: 57 (view)

Reality vs Profile Posted: 7/6/2008 12:48:05 PM
Hey League, That's too funny - from talking to women I know, it also seem this site has an overwhelming abundance of successful busy entrepreneurial types who have multiple offices and are always working late, which is why they sometimes chat or talk on the phone for months but never seem to be able to find time to meet. I am sure they aren't really married - or have a crappy evening job they don't want to admit to, thus the calls from a cell phone or blocked number. I know guys would never lie about things like that

Joined: 1/16/2006

Msg: 24 (view)

Are you holding out for one person before accepting dates from others? Posted: 7/5/2008 1:09:42 PM
"That has not happened for me online." Keep trying, toomuch - they're out there, but it's a numbers game - which is all the more reason it's silly to invest too much time and effort in being "faithful" to someone you haven't even met in person. You know the old saying about kissing frogs. I've connected with a few in person who were not a letdown, in the three years I have been dating online - the last one, last week - so far so good .

Joined: 1/16/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

Are you holding out for one person before accepting dates from others? Posted: 7/5/2008 10:44:09 AM
I don't personally see how you can decide someone has a "wow" factor until you meet him or her in person. I have had too many experiences where I had high expectations and was completely let down on the meeting, for whatever reason. One example was someone I met last spring - we had great, meanignful email conversations for a couple weeks - talked on the phone and everything seemed fine - she was even attractive in person, but just seemed weird and ill-at-ease, not smiling or making eye contact very often. She did loosen up after a couple glasses of wine - and I thought maybe it was just first date jitters - but it was the same was every time we got together, she was almost intolerable until she got a little alcohol in her, then she was OK. So just don't get your hopes up until you actually meet - in person chemistry is not always as easy to achieve as it is online or on the phone. And of course we all know everone is so honest with their pics and profiles and the ones who keep putting off meeting are most likely the ones who will let you down in person.

Joined: 1/16/2006

Msg: 40 (view)

Tell me there are women who still want this? (a chaste guy) Posted: 6/19/2008 11:06:07 PM
I would have to say I agree with Readyornot57 - sexual compatability is far too important to the long-term success of a marriage to leave to chance. Sex is not all a marriage is about by any means - but without a satisfying sex life, all other problems become magnified and the marriage is doomed to failure, or at least to boredom and cheating. This comes from experience in my marriage of 10 years as well as nearly every divorced woman I have talked to since starting to date again. In my case my ex was a virgin when we met - we did not wait till we were married (her choice), but we did wait several months till we were sure we were in love. She was inhibited about some things, but thought she would lose her inhibitions with time. She didn't.

Joined: 1/16/2006

Msg: 181 (view)

My 20lbs in 10 weeks challenge. Anybody in? Posted: 11/20/2007 1:56:29 AM
Hey there - I just found this thread but I wanted to contribute something. I started doing most of the things you list on the first page about 7 weeks ago when I once again got motivated to get back into shape - and have lost 20 lbs since then. I would say the most important thing I have done is to eat smaller meals - say, 250-350 calories - every three hours throughout the day, to keep my metabolism revved. This also helps me avoid bad cravings as I never stay hungry for long - in fact, once I got used to eating smaller meals, I often have to look at my watch to figure out when to eat because I don't feel hungry. The funny thing is - there was a period this summer when I know I was not taking in many more calories than I am now, but I was doing it all wrong - going long periods between meals, eating too much right before bed - and I actually gained a substantial amount of weight, about 12 lbs in 3 months or so. Something else that helps is adopting the mindset of "eat to live, don't live to eat" - I know it's an old cliche, but it is so true. I stopped viewing food as entertainment and started viewing it as sustenance, eating nutritionally dense food high in proteins, complex carbs and fiber.

Joined: 1/16/2006

Msg: 182 (view)

When a woman is so beautiful you can't approach her. Posted: 11/20/2007 1:22:10 AM
One time, when I was in my 20's, I was out with a friend - and he was talking to a woman who was fairly attractive, but her blonde friend was just a knockout - one look at her and I said to hell with it, she was out of my league. So I just hung out, joked around - and if I do say so myself I was in pretty good form - but made no attempt to hit on her. At the end of the night, my friend got the number of the woman he was interested in - and the blonde gave him her number to give to me. We ended up going out once but it didn't work out - and I don't really remember why. Kind of reminds me of the movie "Teh Tao of Steve", if you've ever seen that.

Joined: 1/16/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

9 Things Most People Hate LOL!!!!!!1 Posted: 11/19/2007 11:43:03 PM
I saw a profile on here once where a woman went on for a whole paragraph about "if you don't have a photo, don't waste my time" etc etc - but her pic was an extreme close-up of her face showing just half her nose, one cheek and one eye. I wrote her a message saying how amusing I found that - so she changed it to a pic of her whole face, but it was so blurry and unclear that you couldn't really see what she looked like - but from what I could make out, that might have been a good thing

Joined: 1/16/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

This Texas Girl's Appling for this Job Posted: 11/16/2007 10:46:32 AM
That one's good enough it needs bumped back to the top LOL.

Joined: 1/16/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

The Annual Stella Awards Posted: 11/15/2007 8:33:19 AM
Cute but all bogus http://www.stellaawards.com/bogus.html But here are the actual 2006 awards: The 2006 True Stella Awards Winners by Randy Cassingham Issued 31 January 2007 #5: Marcy Meckler. While shopping at a mall, Meckler stepped outside and was "attacked" by a squirrel that lived among the trees and bushes. And "while frantically attempting to escape from the squirrel and detach it from her leg, [Meckler] fell and suffered severe injuries," her resulting lawsuit says. That's the mall's fault, the lawsuit claims, demanding in excess of $50,000, based on the mall's "failure to warn" her that squirrels live outside. #4: Ron and Kristie Simmons. The couple's 4-year-old son, Justin, was killed in a tragic lawnmower accident in a licensed daycare facility, and the death was clearly the result of negligence by the daycare providers. The providers were clearly deserving of being sued, yet when the Simmons's discovered the daycare only had $100,000 in insurance, they dropped the case against them and instead sued the manufacturer of the 16-year-old lawn mower because the mower didn't have a safety device that 1) had not been invented at the time of the mower's manufacture, and 2) no safety agency had even suggested needed to be invented. A sympathetic jury still awarded the family $2 million. #3: Robert Clymer. An FBI agent working a high-profile case in Las Vegas, Clymer allegedly created a disturbance, lost the magazine from his pistol, then crashed his pickup truck in a drunken stupor -- his blood-alcohol level was 0.306 percent, more than three times the legal limit for driving in Nevada. He pled guilty to drunk driving because, his lawyer explained, "With public officials, we expect them to own up to their mistakes and correct them." Yet Clymer had the gall to sue the manufacturer of his pickup truck, and the dealer he bought it from, because he "somehow lost consciousness" and the truck "somehow produced a heavy smoke that filled the passenger cab." Yep: the drunk-driving accident wasn't his fault, but the truck's fault. Just the kind of guy you want carrying a gun in the name of the law. #2: KinderStart.com. The specialty search engine says Google should be forced to include the KinderStart site in its listings, reveal how its "Page Rank" system works, and pay them lots of money because they're a competitor. They claim by not being ranked higher in Google, Google is somehow infringing KinderStart's Constitutional right to free speech. Even if by some stretch they were a competitor of Google, why in the world would they think it's Google's responsibility to help them succeed? And if Google's "review" of their site is negative, wouldn't a government court order forcing them to change it infringe on Google's Constitutional right to free speech? And the winner of the 2006 True Stella Award: Allen Ray Heckard. Even though Heckard is 3 inches shorter, 25 pounds lighter, and 8 years older than former basketball star Michael Jordan, the Portland, Oregon, man says he looks a lot like Jordan, and is often confused for him -- and thus he deserves $52 million "for defamation and permanent injury" -- plus $364 million in "punitive damage for emotional pain and suffering", plus the SAME amount from Nike co-founder Phil Knight, for a grand total of $832 million. He dropped the suit after Nike's lawyers chatted with him, where they presumably explained how they'd counter-sue if he pressed on.

Joined: 1/16/2006

Msg: 76 (view)

You can't go down on me Posted: 11/12/2007 12:31:43 PM
but i do have a special friend who states that depending on a womans diet each woman tastes and smells different. You know the old saying, you are what you eat. I have heard that pineapples or strawberries will alter the taste of a guy, but I have never tried that with a woman - however, I can verify that after a big Indian meal the taste and smell of curry was EVERYWHERE . As per the OP - I have read that some women are only wired for either clitoral or vaginal orgasms, and no matter how much you might try are not responsive to the other type. I had one woman recently, whose response to my best technique was twitching legs and giggling - first time I have ever run into that, and I must say I have a fair amount of experience in that area. After a while my ex wife stopped letting me do that, after we were married - not because she didn't enoy it, she did - a lot. I think it was because she couldn't really reciprocate because I was rather difficult to finish, or perhaps she just wasn't skilled enough. Also because she felt a little out of control, almost passing out at times from hyperventilating.

Joined: 1/16/2006

Msg: 145 (view)

Horrible kisser = deal breaker???? Posted: 11/11/2007 9:26:13 AM
See, here's the deal. Everyone has a different notion of what constitutes a "good" kisser. What some women like, other women do not, and vice versa. Men want different things as well. So what makes a good kisser? A good kisser is a man or woman who pays attention to their partner's response, and adapts gracefully while learning how to please the other person in the fashion they are accustomed to. By dismissing someone on the basis that they didn't kiss the way you expect them to right from the beginning, you might lose out on someone spectacular." Thie happened to me this spring - our first kiss was what I call the "dead-fish kiss", she basically put her tongue waaaay in my mouth and just left it there - I wasn't sure what to do with it. I finally took it as a challenge to some tongue-wrestling - which got her really turned on LOL. At that point I decided I just wanted to get it over with, get her out of my car and not see her ever again, the kissing was such a turn off for me - but then I got a better idea of how rockin' her body was under that little black dress - so I decided to let it go on a little longer, and she got MUCH better on the second date without any lessons from me, it just kind of happened - like misterbigg said, I guess she just adapted to my lead. Eventually got good enough that we would be lying in bed just hands-off kissing and I would get turned on. Unfortunately, she turned out to be completely crazy in other ways - but we had a lot fo fun in bed. So don't give up too fast - there might be hope.

Joined: 1/16/2006

Msg: 111 (view)

Spooked by single (Never Married) Posted: 3/23/2007 7:28:52 AM
I think the odds would be better (for a successful LTR) by finding someone who has shown (by a previous effort) a disposition personality-wise to prefer being in an LTR than someone with a history of flitting about. Most of the people I know who are single should be. I have been thinking about this a little more, and I have to say you stated my thoughts almost exactly. One thing I have found is that I have developed an uncanny ability to read a profile at some of the other sites (where people seem to try harder to sell themselves) and tell whether they have ever been married before - I don't get all the SNMs, but I am rarely wrong on the ones I am sure about. I realized today what exactly it is that sets these profiles apart - they spend all their time telling you what they do or have done, and not what they are looking for in a partner, or things about them that would be important to a prospective partner. They will drone on and on about their education, job, travels, activities, etc - but not one mention of their personality traits or what type of person they are looking for. They want to find someone with whom they can discuss philosophy, politics, current events, etc - but no mention of wanting to be with someone who can open up and communicate about their feelings. They talk in overly-idealistic terms - looking for "Prince Charming", "Knight in shining armor", someone to "sweep me off my feet" - not someone who will accept them with all their quirks and foibles. I am not saying that all SNMs profiles are like this - just that the ones that are, inevitably turn out to be SNM. On the other hand, just being divorced does not necessarily give you anymore insight into what makes a relationship fail or succeed - I think it depends a lot on how deeply you delved into the reasons the marriage failed. I don't know how many really take the time and effort to do this, as it can be incredibly painful to honestly address such issues.

Joined: 1/16/2006

Msg: 112 (view)

Post a JOKE Posted: 3/21/2007 9:14:56 AM
Joke of the Day! This happened at Harvard University in October last year. In a biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen which gives the sperm all the energy for their journey. A female freshman raised her hand and asked, "If I understand you correctly, you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as in sugar, in semen?" "That's correct," responded the professor, going on to add statistical info. Raising her hand again, she asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?" After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing. The poor girl's face turned bright red, and as she realized exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather implied), she picked up her books without a word and walked out of class, never to return. However, as she was going out the door, the professor's reply was classic. Totally straight-faced he answered her question. "It doesn't taste sweet because the taste buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not the back of your throat. Have a good day." This one really did happen in my human sexuality course at Penn State - but a guy in the class asked why his girlfriend said it tastes salty. Unfortunately, the woman teaching the course didn't know the answer, or wasn't a fast enough thinker to answer.

Joined: 1/16/2006

Msg: 45 (view)

What's your biggest disappointment Posted: 3/20/2007 2:20:53 PM
Silly me, it has always been my opinion that sensitivity was the most important thing. But then I have been told I am not a typical guy - and even in some good ways!

Joined: 1/16/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Still Got It!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 Posted: 3/20/2007 1:49:30 PM
Geez that caught me off guard - good thing I had just finished drinking my iced tea or I would need a new keyboard.

Joined: 1/16/2006

Msg: 81 (view)

Spooked by single (Never Married) Posted: 3/20/2007 1:22:01 PM
I used to think that way - based on my early dating experiences with never-married women 30 or older, immediately after my divorce - I met ones who were masculine, geeky, high-strung, flaky. But more recently I have met some never-married women who are quite able to sustain a long-term relationship but have never taken the final step - so I would not rush to a snap judgment in any case. On the other hand, I am wary of someone who has been divorced more than once after brief marriages - say a couple years or shorter - red flag of someone who tends to jump into things head first. I was divorced after 10 years to a woman I remain fiends with - we just drifted apart, and turned out to be too different to remain married - though I still believe we were very much in love when we married. I recently went on vacation with a male friend of mine who is 40 and has never been married, whom I had not spent time with since before I was married. Now I understand why - he is an average looking guy, with an average job and a receding hairline - but seems to only be interested in women who are nearly physically perfect - champagne taste on a beer budget. Nothing really wrong with him, other than nto being willing to settle for women who don't meet his ridiculously high standards. He even admits to being "Shallow Hal".

Joined: 1/16/2006

Msg: 98 (view)

good 1 liners Posted: 3/20/2007 12:31:09 PM
An agnostic dyslexic wonders if there is a dog! An insomniac dyslexic agnostic stays up all night contemplating the existence of Dog.

Joined: 1/16/2006

Msg: 64 (view)

Would you dump her if... Posted: 6/17/2006 12:30:45 AM
I am one of those guys that has a problem keeping it up. The problem only comes around when its the first 1-5 times I'm with a girl. By the 5th time, it seems I'm comfortable enough with her that everything starts to work the way it should. I have experienced the same thing, and something I read a while ago leads me to think there is a biological cause for it (though I am sure the psychological aspect is also a factor). Virility is related to testosterone production, and lack of sex causes it to drop - and masurbation doesn't help, you have to be in the presence of female pheromones. Thus, it would make sense that even a few failed tries would help stimulate the testosterone level and lead to much better sex - especially if it has been a while since the man was in a sexual relationship. Thus, the old saying "Use it or lose it" is true.

Joined: 1/16/2006

Msg: 929 (view)

GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage? Posted: 6/7/2006 12:10:32 AM
From my experience in my failed marriage, I would say without a doubt it is important to find out if you are sexually compatible. I was 26 when I met my ex at 20, and was much more experienced (she was a virgin but had some peripheral experience). I was willing to wait for marriage because I was so in love with her, but didn't have to (and I didn't pressure her at all, it was mutual.) Though it was decent, she had a lot of inhibitions which we both thought would go away after marriage. Well, long story short - they didn't, our sex life went to pot after the first couple years, and our marriage slowly deteriorated until we divorced after 10 years. It is true that sex isn't the most important part of a marriage, and it was other factors that led to the divorce - but great sex can make up for a lot of deficiencies, and in our case you might say we just got bored with each other.

Joined: 1/16/2006

Msg: 100 (view)

3 months Married and now getting a divorce Posted: 5/8/2006 10:42:56 PM
Sounds to me like he might be bipolar. I know a woman who had a very similar situation - she had what seemed like a storybook marriage for several years, then suddenly one night when they were preparing to submit an offer on a house - as though someone flipped a switch, he said "I don't want to do this" (which it turned out referred to being married anymore) and walked right out. He had never been diagnosed as bipolar before, or exhibited any type of symptoms, but that turned out to be the problem.

Joined: 1/16/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

what are acceptable questions to ask and not ask when your getting to know someone Posted: 2/10/2006 11:28:45 AM
Mocks: Looking up their tax info is illegal and you are a felon. Property tax information is a matter of public record - you can find it on most county's websites these days. However, such behavior does border on stalking IMO.

Joined: 1/16/2006

Msg: 514 (view)

Class action against Yahoo Personals and Match.com for fraud Posted: 1/17/2006 1:57:37 AM
I just spotted a perfect example of a bogus profile: http://personals.yahoo.com/us/personals-1089369275-812403 Several months ago I got an icebreaker from a profile word-for-word identical to this one, but with a picture of a gorgeous thin blonde who was supposedly from my town. But to fool them - I had a friend of a friend who was a subscriber forward my email address to this person - and of course I never heard back. The latest BS thing match.com has done - they no longer allow non-subscribers to read the emails sent to them by subscribers. Of course we have no way to let the subscribers know we didn't get their message, so they don't realize that they indeed are paying for much less service than they had been getting, since they are no longer able to contact a large percentage of the profiles.

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