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diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Any Coffee Addicts? Posted: 11/12/2009 1:45:15 PM
Well I think I might be addicted to coffee.....actually I know I am. First thing every morning I brew my self a pot of coffee and enjoy. I have been enjoying coffee for several years now and never gave it much thought until recently. About a week ago I ran out of coffee and I never bothered to buy any more. I didn't think any thing of it at the time, but the first day with out coffee in the morning I started getting head aches by afternoon. I took some Tylenol, the head aches went away and I carried on. The next few days the same thing happened, head aches in the afternoon followed with some Tylenol. By day 3 or 4 my head aches went away but I started to progressively become lazier. I felt like I had little energy, wanted to sleep in in the mornings, I even slept through my alarm once. I felt like napping during the day which I wouldn't normally do. I started to notice my drive was slipping way slowly. Today I decided to go out and get another tin of coffee, and after only half of the first cup I was wide awake, full of energy and rearing to go. This made me think. Was this the way I would normally feel if I never drank coffee in the first place or is it just with drawl symptoms? I don't like the thought that I have to have coffee in order the function. How about you ppl, any of you coffee addicts? have you had any similar experience with coffee?

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

He won't let me put him down Posted: 11/5/2009 9:53:14 PM
Orajell (spelling?) works awesome. I used it for mine when she was a baby and I swear by it. I wanted to try it before I gave it to my baby and it instantly numbed my mouth, I was lisping. LOL If nothing else is gives them some new sensations to explore and focus on rather then what is upsetting them. Grip water works well too, but I found it worked better on an upset tummy. The other thing if the baby has an upset tummy, prune juice helps to move it through. Another thing you can try is a cold wet cloth for him to chew on. Its impossible to spoil a 6 month old baby so don't listen to the guy who said if you pick him up you loose. They haven't developed the feeling of being spoiled yet.

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

someone please try and help me understand... Posted: 11/5/2009 9:13:42 PM
jshea09 It sounds like your ex does and acts the same way as mine does. You cant make him be there for your child. No one can. I know its heart shattering to think that your dreams of a family are being thrown out the window and now you may have a dead beat on your hands. Its a lot to take in especially when your a new mom, I'm sure you never planed it to be this way. His visit's are up to him, he needs to come to you and set up a visit, if he doesn't, then it show's were his priorities lie and it may not be with your bundle of joy. I know its hard to accept but unfortunately you don't have a choice. He needs to be the one to step up to the plate. Try not to worry about him or the things he say's about you, your priorities are your son and not his visits. Leave his visits up to him. Oh and just a note if your going to go for custody and such, keep a diary of all his visits and how long they are. It will help to paint a picture of were his priorities are for the judge.

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 248 (view)

An unofficial look at CS payment amounts. Posted: 11/4/2009 1:16:33 PM
Extracurricular Activities Typically, child support guidelines distinguish between child-related expenses that are included in the basic child support award and entertainment-related expenses. Entertainment-related expenses are generally not included in basic child support awards. Thus, the non-custodial parent (one who does not have physical custody) does not have to contribute to the cost associated with extracurricular activities. A court may award additional, extraordinary expenses. If the parties have sufficient financial resources, a court may require the non-custodial parent to pay for a share of the child(ren)'s extracurricular activities, including both enrichment activities such as piano or ballet lessons and sports-related activities. If the parties have limited financial resources, a court will likely find that the cost of such activities should be covered by the basic child support award. Courts typically rule on extra child support requests on a case-by-case basis, looking at the non-custodial parent's income. If he/she earns a high income, the court will most likely rule favorably on reasonable requests for extra child support for these additional expenses. If he/she is struggling to pay necessary living expenses or if he/she has started a new family, the court will likely rule that the additional expenses are covered by the basic support award. Exceptions Special exceptions may arise with extremely gifted or talented children where, prior to their divorce or separation, both parents provided for expensive lessons or activities. In such cases, the court may direct that each parent contribute to the costs of the lessons or activity in proportion to their respective incomes. This order is separate and apart from the basic child support order. Summer Camp Whether summer camp is considered "child care" makes a big difference in child support obligations. The primary factor considered by the courts is whether summer camp is essentially taking the place of necessary child care because the custodial parent is working or going to school. Presumably, if the family unit had remained intact, both parents would treat child care as a necessary cost. As such, the expense incurred would be for the benefit of the child(ren) that both parents should share. However, if a child is old enough to go without child care, the cost of summer camp is not considered child care. If summer camp is not "child care," but rather a discretionary expense, the cost may or may not have to be shared by the non-custodial parent. That said, even if summer camp is not deemed to be a necessary child care expense, a court can order the cost to be paid as an added expenditure in the best interests of the child(ren). Summer Vacation Child support is not suspended during summer vacations, even if the child(ren) spend an extensive amount of time with the non-custodial parent. However, the parents can agree to a different amount during vacation periods when the child(ren) are away for long periods of time or a court can order a modification. Religion Generally speaking, if the intent of both parents to raise the child in a particular faith is apparent at the time of a divorce or separation, the reasonable educational costs associated with that religion can be apportioned by the courts. Thus, costs for bar/bat mitzvahs, confirmation, and first communions should be expected to be paid by both parents. http://family-law.lawyers.com/child-support/Child-Support-and-Extra-Curricular-Activities.html What is child support used for? Child support covers everything a child needs, "and even more", during the growth and formative years. Keep the following in mind: A parent's first and principal obligation is to support his or her minor children according to the parent's circumstances and station in life; and Children should share in the standard of living of both parents. Thus, the amount of a child support award is more than a question of "bare necessities." If the child has a wealthy parent, that child is entitled to, and therefore ?needs? something more than the bare necessities of life. Where the supporting parent enjoys a lifestyle that far exceeds the custodial parent's living standard, child support must "to some degree" reflect that more "opulent lifestyle." This is so even though, as a practical matter, the child support payments will incidentally benefit others in the custodial household whom the payor parent has no obligation to support (e.g., custodial parent owed no spousal support, adult children, or children from custodial parent's other relationships). Children should share in the standard of living of both parents. Child support may therefore appropriately improve the standard of living of the custodial household to improve the lives of the children. Children are entitled to share in non-custodial parent's "elevated standard of living" despite custodial parent's substantially lower income. Awarding supported children a percentage of a non-custodial parent's future bonuses ensures they will share in his standard of living. http://family-law.freeadvice.com/child_support/1child_support.htm

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 198 (view)

An unofficial look at CS payment amounts. Posted: 10/31/2009 11:37:43 AM
In my situation I am going to have a hearing soon and my main objective is for Custody and access. The support part is way down on my list of what is truly important to me. I have doubts...and I am sure you will not find anyone here who will believe that you would ever stand up and tell the judge I do not need the cs and i am not interested in the cs. But I have known a couple of custodial dads who have done it....so it does happen. I never said I'm not interested. Every case is different. I am in the low income category and it would be nice if he helped me out. I have asked him in the past to buy a bag of diapers and nothing else, but he couldn't even do that. I did say that it was low down on my list, not off my list. That's my personal situation, I cant talk for any one else. Sorry but as a custodial parent....I have claimed it for each of the taxation years I have been a single parent. I would use 2008 but I never did get the electronic copy...but the 2007 year...bold as brass.....Non-refundable tax credit line 300 $9600 and line 303 $9600 (spouse or eligible dependant) used to be called equivalent to married ... And then line 367...$2,000 Amount for children.....TAX CREDIT I'm well aware of the base amounts when filing taxes. The argument in another thread, that was deleted, was that V_C claimed the custodial parent gets that amount in the form of a check when filing taxes. No problem following the conversation...nor doing some of the math...but what would your suggestion be with the mother earning the $80,000 and the non custodial father earning $30,000.....based on the legal requirements he still pays cs.... Since they don't look at the mothers income in Canada he would still have to pay $280.00 a month for one child in BC or $270 in Ontario. Making the father do his part regardless of the mothers income.

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 197 (view)

An unofficial look at CS payment amounts. Posted: 10/31/2009 10:53:35 AM
I have been leaving my personal opinion out because I didn't want to be flamed, but here goes. I agree that the child support laws are unfairly biased in favor of the women and often times the women are winning because of there sex and not by merit. Child support should be tax free for the sender not the receiver like it used to be. I agree with a previous poster that the child support should be at a set amount and not go up and down with the wages because like some one else posted out, it doesn't cost $1991 a month to raise a child. I agree that the child support system has helped to create problems in the family life and made it easy to shut out the fathers. I believe that it is the responsibility of both parents to support the child and I appreciate the courts going after dead beats. I believe that the system was set up because of the dead beats but unfortunately the nice guys/gals get sucked in to a system designed for dead beats. I agree that there are custodial parents that are abusing the system, its no different then any other system out there. some people abuse welfare, Some abuse workers compensation, some abuse disabilities pensions, some people are very good at taking advantage of all kinds of different systems, But they are only a few, most of the people that need them truly do need them. I keep hearing over and over how the custodial parents are selfish, they are only looking at it as a cash cow, the ex took me to the ringers, the ex this, the ex that. I rarely hear non custodial parents saying, The courts are this, the courts are that, the judge was a ____. Like I already previously said its not entirely the custodial parents fault that the non custodial parent had to pay the amount they had to pay. When we stand in front of the judge whether either parent wants it or not the courts order child support automatically. I can't quite figure out why the non custodial parent automatically takes a grudge to the custodial parent. It should be towards the courts after all the custodial parent cant make an order.

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 194 (view)

An unofficial look at CS payment amounts. Posted: 10/30/2009 11:50:25 PM
Board much Tealwood? How long did that take you?

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Babysitting part 2 Posted: 10/30/2009 8:50:36 PM
^^^ My daughter goes to a licensed day care with 30 kids. 2 men and 3 women run it. I don't have a problem with it at all, in fact I like the idea that there are men there because its another way for my child to get a male roll model that she doesn't have at home.

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 187 (view)

An unofficial look at CS payment amounts. Posted: 10/30/2009 8:02:18 PM
HPotter Its not just about the ex's. I have come across many of custodial parents that don't want nor need the support money. The judge however see's things differently and orders CS regardless if the custodial parents wants it or not. In my situation I am going to have a hearing soon and my main objective is for Custody and access. The support part is way down on my list of what is truly important to me. I am however interested in how the whole legal thing works just because of the mere fact that I don't have a choice when we stand in front of the judge and neither does the ex.

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 179 (view)

An unofficial look at CS payment amounts. Posted: 10/30/2009 4:34:56 PM
A story I thought I would add.... A women that has 2 children 100% full custody and a man who was making $40,000 per year as a computer nut went to family court . The BC courts ordered that the dad paid $550 for child support. Shortly after, the dad decided he wanted a career change. He wanted to start up his own business in land scape design so he went back to school for a year to learn about his interest's and after he was finished he started his own business. He was making - previous years $40,000 as PC tech Yr 2 $10,000 while at school Yr 3 $9,000 business start up Yr4 $15,000 In business Yr5 $17,000 In business Yr 6 $18,000 In business The father had not paid any child support during this time and was in arrears approximately $40,000. He went back to court and tried to have his amount owing lowered due to his lowered incomes. The judge looked at it as he was deliberately under employed and still had the full potential to be making $40,000 per year, so no changes were made to the amount owing in arrears or any future amount. True Story.

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

H1N1 vaccine. Are you getting a shot? Posted: 10/30/2009 3:53:49 PM
Between 400 and 800 people die in B.C. from the seasonal flu or pneumonia each year. The swine flu has killed 12 people in BC since the pandemic started. That's right folks 12 "Oh but this one has the potential of being so much worse." Don't they all? What's with the scare? Could it be the pharmaceutical companies deliberate scare in order to cash in? Lets face it, when was the last major issue that the pharmaceutical companies cashed in on? Maybe its time for a new scare and the H1N1 is it. <div class="quote">H1N1 vaccine. Are you getting a shot? Nope

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

What is he thinking? Posted: 10/30/2009 12:55:43 PM
Sounds to me like he is a player. He was with a girl for 3 years and cheated on her with other women. He is playing your emotions telling you to more or less to wait for him, mean while sleeping with your best friend and knocking her up, then running back to the ex. Sounds like he is using you as a back up.......Hmmmmm...... RUN... He may be charming but he will most likely hurt you in the long run. My advice is, DON"T FALL FOR IT.

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Why do you want to know about old boyfriends? Posted: 10/30/2009 12:08:03 PM
Why is it that within the first few emails do you guys start asking about the ex's? Questions like, "How many have you had?" "what was the longest relationship?" "What was he like?" etc... What do you guys want to know about other men? Wouldn't you want to ask more about who this girl is that you are talking to? I personally would rather talk about you and me and not your ex's. I have actually had several ask me this.

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Baby sitting Posted: 10/29/2009 11:09:45 PM
1kindman4u You may have a point but I think it depends on the age of the child. How old is the kids?

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Baby sitting Posted: 10/29/2009 9:55:37 PM
If you don't have a problem, the kids don't have a problem and the girlfriend doesn't have a problem, then whats the problem?

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

any help? Posted: 10/29/2009 3:42:47 PM
Some people have a hard time letting go but eventually do. Remember this, his jealousy, his problem....Change your phone #

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 167 (view)

An unofficial look at CS payment amounts. Posted: 10/29/2009 3:10:14 PM
Matariki Sweet Our welfare system sucks in BC, Just like if the recipient was honest enough to claim that they won $5 on a scratch an win the recipient will see's a $5 reduction on their next check. Bad huh? Oh and they also stopped sponsoring recipients for school. I could go on and on and I don't even collect welfare.... When the recipient leaves welfare does FMEP give back all the money from how ever long they were on it, or is that money just gone into thin air?

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 162 (view)

An unofficial look at CS payment amounts. Posted: 10/29/2009 2:23:42 PM
What about things that don't have a receipt? Things like the child's allowance or you went to garage sale's and bought the child things. I'm not sure how its possible to know to a "T" what was spent on that child. Another Note Have you ever been in business and had to save all the business receipts? Have you ever thrown in extra's out of your personal spending for example you buy a printer for home just because you could? There would be so many ways to cheat on the paper work I cant see it happening.

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

112 years old...wants more kids? Posted: 10/29/2009 2:03:40 PM
OMG Tito and Carter, thats hilarious..... At that age there is a much higher chance of having an unhealthy baby but over there they might not have the education to know this. Over there I'm sure its not uncommon for men to have several wives and I'm sure it might not look so bad to them as it does to us North Americans. Even in North America its not illegal for 2 people to marry and age doesn't matter. its only illegal to have more then one spouse at the same time here........I think....

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 37 (view)

Squirrel and Rabbit recipes? Posted: 10/29/2009 12:47:44 AM
Eeewww....Squirrels? How many squirrels would it take just to make one family meal? I think I would rather take the life of one larger animal that will feed us all winter like a moose or elk then a whole bunch of squirrels for one meal.

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 145 (view)

An unofficial look at CS payment amounts. Posted: 10/28/2009 11:44:43 PM
I have an example of how men are paid better then women in some jobs. I worked at a fish plant for a bit and when I was hired I was getting $8/hour, the same as all the women that was hired there. There was approximately the same amount of men as there was women employed. At the time I had no idea what the men were getting to start until my BF at the time got a job there. He was doing the same job as me in fact we stood beside each other on the line. He started at 11.50/hour and after that we started to talk to other employee's we found out that all the men started higher then the women for no reason. Yes I know, off topic. Getting back to the child support thing. Earlier on in the thread I made up a scenario were the babe's bills for the month were $750. Tealwood brought up that the Universal Child Care Benefit should be shared by both parents in order to offset the cost of the child expense then split the difference. So what if this happens? Mom is very lucky; (which majority of people are not) she gets all kinds of handouts. Say she lives in Ontario and she is getting… Contribution to Babe's bills 277 Canada Child Tax Benefit +100 Universal Child Care Benefit +100 Ontario Child Benefit +214 CPP Children benefit +200 Grand Parents Contribution (Rich grand parents want to help out.) =891.00 My earlier scenario suggests the babe’s cost being $750/month. With this scenario she is getting $891.00 and so more then the childs expense. I haven’t even added dad’s contribution yet. So Daddy Tealwood sees this as off setting the cost of babe and says “Well you don’t need any more so I’m not giving you any more”. So daddy Tealwood takes off and does nothing to contribute and just walks away from his responsibilities. So Tealwood according to you does this entitle a non-custodial parent to walk out on the financial responsibilities? Or better yet…lol…since the hands outs should be shared does she owe you half of the $141.00 left over?

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Muwahahaha Happy Halloween Posted: 10/28/2009 8:27:16 PM
My Daughter wanted to be a princes so we went out and got a princes dress that has fiber optic lights in it so she will be all sparkly. Then when we were headed to the check out she saw some wings that she just absolutely had to have, then the wand and then the tiara that she just had to have.....lol....so now she is going as a fairy princes. Edit: Reason for Requested Deletion: Chat topic ???? Aren't all thread supposed to start a conversation?

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 139 (view)

An unofficial look at CS payment amounts. Posted: 10/28/2009 8:15:07 PM
Tealwood LOL...what happened to your arguement about they both earned $2,000 per month or $22,000 per year...or $24,000....and then went to the fall back $80,000 and $20,000? These were two different made up scenarios, try to follow the conversation will you. I would suggest the father is required to pay cs to support his children...But then the question is required to be asked....why would he marry some bimbo who is unable to actually earn an income? And why is this woman not capable of actually earning an income...perhaps she just figures she can get by on her good looks...or she as a woman feels entitled to being taken care of by a man...nothing better than watching some woman who at 20's was the cat meow...and had everything...and the guys would do anything for....when they reach 30 something...they find the " bloom " is waning and can no longer get the guys to fall over themselves...to please her... Again this is another example of your issue’s not mine and so is the rest of your message #135. My personal scenario is never mentioned and you have no grounds to assume what I’m like in life. V_C If 9600 Tax credit does not make any difference , then why you oppose it when I suggested that the CS payer should Get it We have already discussed this. There is no such credit for $9600 or the $2000 you had mentioned in other threads. Just ask any parent or non parent here. Is it possible to stick to the topic at hand.

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

So as summer approaches, are we Fire Ready this time? Are you? Posted: 10/28/2009 7:35:06 PM
We are just going into winter. Its almost summer over there???

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

One person's pet is another's pest control problem Posted: 10/28/2009 6:54:04 PM
Cats will take care of your rat problem. Get a cat or borrow a friends cat for a few days. Just don't let the cat out of the house....lol...I have an discussion with my dad about letting a cat wonder free in the neighborhood and we both came to the conclusion that cats should be keep under control like dogs and if the cat owner wants to let the cat out that they need to make a run or a big cage with a top for the cat.

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Quick and Easy for the Kidlings Posted: 10/28/2009 5:04:06 PM
I have a dehydrator and I make fruit leathers. They are so easy to make and so yummy that she keeps asking for more and so does her friends. You can use a any fruit or veggies that you want and can make it different every time. I also like it because its not cooking the food so it looses very little nutrition in the process plus it stores well for a long time.

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 129 (view)

An unofficial look at CS payment amounts. Posted: 10/28/2009 3:55:18 PM
How about the recipient get a better career? Not trying to be solely argumentative, but I believe the system is set up to support mediocrity in some cases. In Canada Thatusernameistaken, you had already mentioned that the CS is based only on the payers income so the recipient's income has nothing to do with it. IMO Both incomes should be looked at but thats not how its done in Canada. If you are talking about alimony and there is no reason why the recipient cant get a better job then I can see your point and I completely agree. (get off your lazy butt) If the recipient was a house wife that hasn't worked at all for many years or has only worked minimum wage jobs with not education and the payer has a high paying career, then the recipient after the break up can go to school and the payer has to fork over the bills for school for the ex as well as alimony costs. Because now the recipient has to be reeducated. Once the recipient is reeducated there shouldn't be any reason for them not to get a job and the alimony should stop. (I thought this thread was about CS)

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 123 (view)

An unofficial look at CS payment amounts. Posted: 10/28/2009 3:15:34 PM
Tealwood you have obvious issues towards women but that doesn't give you the right to come into a forum and try to steal the thread by bashing the women in it. We are not your ex's, don't treat us as such. Getting back to the topic at hand........................................... So dad has a high quality of life, how would one increase the quality of life for a child living with mom and not expect it to benefit mom. Do you think mom is going to eat kraft dinner while across the table babe is eating steak and lobster? Of course it will benefit mom too, I'm not saying it wouldn't. Or is it better to have Dad in a mansion eating Steak and Lobster while mom and child are eating craft dinner all because dad is spiteful.

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 128 (view)

Why did you get divorced? Posted: 10/28/2009 2:51:02 PM
I was never married but common law for 5 years. the reason I kicked him out was because he put me in the hospital and endangered my child more then once.

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 119 (view)

An unofficial look at CS payment amounts. Posted: 10/28/2009 2:33:10 PM
Although women may have fought for the right to be equal this is not always the case in today's work force. Much like matriki sweet had mentioned. I do think that if mom pushed herself that she could do better for sure though. But that was just an example given, the parents may even make the same amount of money, or the mom makes more. I think with higher incomes it comes down to quality of life and not so much the necessities of life like it does with lower incomes. This is my theory as to why the support payments goes up with the income level. I don't know much about alimony at all as have never dealt with it before but I'm guessing its along the same lines but just doesn't last as long. Supposedly just long enough so the person receiving it can get on there feet. For example a house wife that hasn't worked in years or a person that has a much lower income.

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

IVF Leftovers Posted: 10/28/2009 2:03:30 PM
I wouldn't donate them....I think that sperm banks and donating eggs anonymously is irresponsible. Imagine finding out down the road that you and your bf/lover/spouse have the same parent.........what a mess! I have never looked at it that way. That's a valid point and I with draw my last statement of giving them away.

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

IVF Leftovers Posted: 10/28/2009 1:59:50 PM
How would you explain that to a child later on in life? "Well son/daughter, you are a test tube baby". I wouldn't use them, thats not fair to the child. I would consider the same thing hooked and happy mentioned and give them away.

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Ideas for spending time with kids... Posted: 10/28/2009 1:46:42 PM
Of course the 1 yr old doesn't stay for long, and he has a tendency to sit on my head and laugh hysterically. That is so funny, lol, that's great. ^^^^Counting Raisin bran ,lol now that original. What a great idea......

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

IVF Leftovers Posted: 10/28/2009 1:33:34 PM
I don't get it, what is IVF?

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 113 (view)

An unofficial look at CS payment amounts. Posted: 10/28/2009 1:28:35 PM
Here is an interesting fact. The real reason why Finance Minister Paul Martin switched the taxation on child support was to cover up a billion dollar income tax evasion problem.

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 110 (view)

An unofficial look at CS payment amounts. Posted: 10/28/2009 1:24:30 PM
Yes, I commented on how the tables are set and are law. What I am talking about though is that the table amount can be significantly more than the amount required to actually support just the children. $1800 per month for two children tax free, for example, is a hell of a lot more than the direct costs involved with supporting those two children. I would theorize that all of that extra money would be used up by the recipient of the CS payments and not be distributed to child expenses only. I'm not an expert by no means but I think it comes down to a quality of life issue. Lets say dad makes 80,000/year and mom makes 20,000. The total for the home is 100,000 per year. Lets say this household had a huge home, boats, cars, quads, expensive things, and such. The child is used to having all the luxuries. When the home breaks up and the child goes with mom who is making 20,000 a year and cant afford all the luxuries but dad can. It would be putting that child into poverty and a way of life that they are not used to. So to help mom keep up that way of life for the child the child support is higher. Same thing would be if mom and dad both make 80,000/year and the total household would be 160,000. The child would be accustomed to a 160,000 a year living. That's just my thoughts.

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 103 (view)

An unofficial look at CS payment amounts. Posted: 10/28/2009 12:48:19 PM
I guess the German solution..that both parents pay equal child support and the Governing body (Such as FRO ) should analyze as to how the funds are being spend every month.End of the day the Funds are for Child not for the mother . She should not be able to use a penny for herself. I would like to see in that situation , how many females will file for complete custody. I agree that it should be shared equally V_C but how would it be possible to analyze were the money goes? For example I can see that a parent can hang on to receipts and such to show were some of it goes but what about things like allowance for the child were there is no receipts. How would one figure out exactly how much of the car bills are used just for the child? Or the grocery bill.

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 100 (view)

An unofficial look at CS payment amounts. Posted: 10/28/2009 11:30:27 AM
Nice to see that you are appearing like what some attribute single custodial mothers are....just looking at it as a cash cow....since you were talking about cash flow or who had what extra income...but like others....when there is a free or benefit that favours the custodial....you guard it jealously and do not want it included....in comparing cash flow..or available purchasing power. My intentions was not to start a flame war and I'm not trying to look at it as a cash cow. I'm not educated in the field of child support and like a lot of other single parents, Mom's or dad's I don't fully understand how it works so I was tring out my logic and posting it here so others can comment and people such as your self can challenge it and perhaps we collectively can come up with how it really works, since so many people don't know such as my self. Lets, if we can leave the non necessities out of the picture for now because that is such a Brod thing. I read some were that the child support tables were set up with the assumption that the non custodial parent was not in the picture at all. So I based this scenario as such. In the time after one year after separation or divorce, 50% of children of divorced or separated families never see their fathers again. http://fathersforlife.org/divorce/dvrcrate.htm I'm assuming many more only see there father once in a blue moon. $250 + $125 = $375 additional cost that the custodial parent bears... However...keeping this simple... $220 cs each month plus the CCTB $277 which you prefer not to mention.... $220+$277=$497 I wasn't trying to make it look like she was hogging the CCTB. I was only thinking that it was from the government and not the parents but since you bring up a valid point lets add it in. In your quote you have added it to the paying parents contribution but to be fair lets take it off the top. babe's bills 750 -277 -220 =$253 that has to come from mom. So it works out that in this scenario it works out a bit more equal when you add the CCTB But there was once a day when cloth diapers were used...but they became work....and there was once a day when they actually made the food themselves...but that became work and mothers now buy it off the self... I think most people use disposable items now and most people also don't have the means to go hunting or plow their own fields. Lets look at this in today's society and not the past. How many people use cloth diapers today? inflated costs that you come up with It depends on the child's age how much a child can cost. Infants for example go threw a whole new wardrobe every 3-6 months, go threw many clothes changes in a day, out grow car seats, cribs, strollers, etc etc...You get the picture. an older child the cost may not be as high for necessities. Yes I understand that they don't out grow these things every month but this is just an estimated average. Then anything over and above that amount would be paid for by the parent who CHOOSES to spend more than the basic costs? If the parent want's to buy more expensive clothes and such then I would say yes its up to the parent that choose it. If its say summer camp and the child really want's to go then that cost should be shared IMO. I don't think it should be tacked on the the monthly child support though but rather a one time cost thing. shouldn't CS be set at the flat rate of ______? In Canada I though you pointed out earlier on that it was. That the table was law and was set at a rate of $_________.

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 94 (view)

An unofficial look at CS payment amounts. Posted: 10/27/2009 9:05:36 PM
Ok Tealwood, you have caught a couple mistakes that I have over looked lets try it your way then. I was leaving out the government subsidies because I felt that was a separate issue. There are parents out there that don't get any subsidies and this is not the parents contribution. I also based this on basic not including extra things like daycare, sports, etc. There are a lot of things that can influence the cost of raising a child. Lets say mom and dad has one child and goes their separate ways. Mom has the babe full time. Mom and dad both make $2000/month. Lets say dad’s Household bills (rent, utilities, mortgage, upkeep) equals $750/month. Mom, because of the need for a larger place due to having the babe, her monthly household bills are $1000/month. The difference being $250 for the babe. Now lets say babe’s basic needs not including house hold like clothes, diapers, etc come to $500/month. Mom and dads basic needs are $350/month Keep in mind this is basic. Babe’s Bill’s 250- Household +500-basic needs =$750 Mom and babe bills combined 1000-Household 500- babes basic +350- moms basic =$1850 Dad’s Bills 750- Household +350-dads basic =$1100 Based on $2000 a month income. If mom had no support from dad then she has only $150 extra every month to splurge on. If dad doesn’t pay support then he has $900 extra every month to splurge on. Keep in mind both make the same amount of money at the end of the day. By all rights Dad should pay half of babe’s bills. $375.00 every month but he doesn’t. The child support table in Canada says he pay’s, based on $24,000 annual income of $220/month. (In BC, that’s only 11% by the way. Take from- http://www.fmep.gov.bc.ca/resources/maintenance-calculator/ ) Babe’s bills 750 -220 from dad =$530 that has to come from mom. At the end of the day If dad pays support mom has $370 extra to splurge on Dad if he pay’s support has $680 extra to splurge on. Dad is upset that he has to pay. I don’t understand how dad can be mad at putting his $220 in to mom and babe’s home. If all babe’s needs are meet and mom’s buy’s some thing extra special for herself out of the $370 left over then she should be able to do that with out dad bashing her. After all in this situation Dad splurges $680 a month on him self. How did I do on my made up situation and my logic? Does this make sense to any of you??? Seams fairly real to me.

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Ideas for spending time with kids... Posted: 10/27/2009 7:29:00 PM
I take my 4 year old daughter berry picking and to the beach were we can flip over rocks and check out the crabs. We also like to make an obstacle course in the park and then chase each other through it.

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 89 (view)

An unofficial look at CS payment amounts. Posted: 10/27/2009 4:25:06 PM
I’m going to try my math skills out. Please keep in mind that these are NOT factual but for the purpose of argument. Insert your own number as you will for your situation. Lets say mom and dad has one child and goes their separate ways. Mom has the babe full time. Mom and dad both make $2000/month. Lets say dad’s Household bills (rent, utilities, mortgage, upkeep) equals $750/month. Mom, because of the need for a larger place due to having the babe, her monthly household bills are $1000/month. It’s easy to think that well there is only a $250 difference that should the babe’s bills but this is not the case. Like a roommate the bills are shared. Lets say, because we are talking about a child, the bills are split 40% babe and 60% mom. Now lets say babe’s basic needs not including house hold like clothes, diapers, etc come to $500/month. Mom and dads extra bills are $350/month Keep in mind this is basic. Babe’s Bill’s 400- Household 40% +500-basic needs =$900 Mom and babe bills combined 1000-Household 500- babes basic +350- moms basic =$1850 Dad’s Bills 750- Household +350-dads basic =$1100 Based on $2000 a month income. If mom had no support from dad then she has only $150 extra every month to splurge on. If dad doesn’t pay support then he has $900 extra every month to splurge on. Keep in mind both make the same amount of money at the end of the day. By all rights Dad should pay half of babe’s bills. $450.00 every month but he doesn’t. The child support table in Canada says he pay’s, based on $22,000 annual income of $200/month. (In BC, that’s only 10% by the way. Take from- http://www.fmep.gov.bc.ca/resources/maintenance-calculator/ ) Babe’s bills -900 -200 from dad =$700 that has to come from mom. At the end of the day If dad pays support mom has $350 extra to splurge on Dad if he pay’s support has $700 extra to splurge on. Dad is upset that he has to pay. I don’t understand how dad can be mad at putting his $200 in to mom and babe’s home. If all babe’s needs are meet and mom’s buy’s some thing extra special for herself out of the $350 left over then she should be able to do that with out dad bashing her. After all in this situation Dad splurges $700 a month on him self. How did I do on my made up situation and my logic? Does this make sense to any of you??? Seams fairly real to me.

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Is there such a thing as a bad ora that repels people? Posted: 10/27/2009 12:05:52 PM
Yes I believe people can have an aura for sure that is picked up by others and can some times be a bad one that turns people off. What you need to do is ask some trusted friends or family of their honest opinions of what they feel it may be then try to change it.

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

SING FATHER, PRIMARY CAREGIVER. Can I lose in Family -HELP Court? Posted: 10/26/2009 10:02:03 PM
I agree with staceyssc. Don't take our advice as legal advice. I'm not a lawyer but I am in Canada like your self, I have and is still going through the court battles. I'm not going to pretend I know it all because I don't but I know when I'm stressed about legal questions I do the same thing and ask the public who may just know the answer or at least can help with some (non legal) advice. **************************************** You have a lawyer now that is not giving you a lot of attention.....let me guess...Legal Aide? If you can get a paid lawyer, this will help you a lot.

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

SING FATHER, PRIMARY CAREGIVER. Can I lose in Family -HELP Court? Posted: 10/26/2009 9:23:33 PM
The neighbor, did they say they witnessed the actual scuffle or was it they only witnessed the noise? Were they there when it happened? or watching from afar? It was at night you said right? the reason I ask is because I'm tring to see if the witness is viable.

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

SING FATHER, PRIMARY CAREGIVER. Can I lose in Family -HELP Court? Posted: 10/26/2009 8:31:22 PM
its going to be hard to say which way it will go in court over the family case since both of you are not going to look good in the courts eyes. If your family court is coming up soon do what you can to put off the assault case until after your family case. Some things to consider for right now would be No more contact with the ex at all. The two of you can clearly not communicate in a appropriate manor. Find an unbiased 3rd person to be your mediator and all communication to go through them or you can higher a mediator. You may even be able to use the lawyers to mediate. If you bring up that you realize that the two of you can clearly not communicate properly you acknowledge it is unhealthy for the child it will look better for you. The courts don't care about your ex and your problems, they only look at the child's best interests so if you can show that you are taking that into consideration you will look more favorable. For the visits you can drop of your child some were neutral, a friend or family or maybe even a professional as long as its neutral before the ex gets there and you leave before the ex gets there. The same thing goes when you pick up your child, the ex leave before you get there. If she doesn't go with this and keeps coming to your house drunk, call you, threaten you or any thing else then go to the police and get an emergency piece bond in place. If she ignores it then she will be in a world of hurt before the judge. What this shows is that you are taking control of a crazy uncontrolled situation, you are thinking of the well being of your child and your have had enough with the fighting as is causes stress in the home of the child and is not healthy. Even if the child didn't witness it, they still feel your stress. You are still willing to give her access but need to do it in a safer manor. This way she will have a hard time tring to black mail you and it will make you look favorable.

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

SING FATHER, PRIMARY CAREGIVER. Can I lose in Family -HELP Court? Posted: 10/26/2009 7:17:42 PM
does the mother have any criminal or arrest records? Any thing documented on paper? I asked my Lawyer about my ex having assault issues towards other adults and my lawyer said to me that it doesn't mean he can be a good father because striking an adult is different then striking a child. What exactly was she claiming you did? What was the weapon? Was it just the keys the cut her in the struggle to get them from you? Did she go to a doctor or police and have the injury documented? Do you have any other records from the past. Has child services ever taken the child and if so why? If you claim guilty, are you? If your not guilty then don't claim guilty. It means you are owning up and saying that yes you did it. Need a bit more info. Edit: I can only see forcible confinement if you were not allowing her to leave the house. taking her key's and not allowing her to drive is one thing but if she can leave on foot or a cab or a friend then its not forcible confinement since she could leave any time. If you were not letting her out of the house then yes I can see that.

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

Constipation and Congestion Posted: 10/26/2009 12:16:07 PM
I don't know any thing about constipation but here is a simple safe remedy for congestion. Mint extract, put a dab on the babe's chin or even under the nose. Its a food so its safe. Found the in grocery store. Have you ever had a plugged nose then chewed on a piece of strong mint gum? Edit: Oh, lol, the issue is over. I guess I should have read all the posts. Glad he is feeling better.

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Are you a Gladiator or a Spectator? Posted: 10/25/2009 5:01:36 PM
Spectator with an opinion. lol Its safer that way.

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

How far would you go? Posted: 10/25/2009 4:44:37 PM
aaamm That's a very good point. a 16 year old can drive and be in completely in control of a death trap on wheels so yes they should be allowed to be home alone for a few hours. Whats going to happen? They spill blueberry juice on the couch, maybe have a friend over. I believe its at age 14 they can legally drive farm equipment on a farm.

diamondincnd

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

over protective or just cautious? Posted: 10/25/2009 3:02:51 PM
I'm going to talk for myself and not relate to any one else but only the way I feel for the same situation..... I have one 4 year old and this very same question has come into my mine when going on dates. I use to think well I don't want my child to get attached and then nothing works out my child would be hurt. Then I thought about it. I have male and female friends that visit or we visit at there house and I don't have any problems with my child being around when we visit them. My child doesn't look at my male friends thinking that they are potential step dads and doesn't get attached in that regard. So with that being said, what would the problem be if my date was to meet my child? If they wanted to meet my child right away that is? So I pondered that question to myself and I came up with my own answer to my question.....For me it wasn't the attachment issue, I just used it as an excuse and believed it. For me the real reason is that I wanted to focus on my date and have them focus on me with out interruption until I got to know them better. But thats me I cant talk for any one else. At 5 months old I don't think you have to worry about an attachment issue if your dating is casual. when they are a little older if the dating is casual and made to look like your date is nothing more then a friend then there shouldn't be a problem either. Its when the date becomes serious and then lets say they move in or are around every day, then make sure this is the right person you want to be with long term. Lets face it though, you could be with some one that you absolutely adore and have every intention of being until the end of time, but then some thing happens, months or even years later. People change and children get hurt. Its unfortunate but some times unavoidable. The only way to eliminate this possibility is to never date until the kids are nearing adulthood. But who wants to do that?

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