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realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 115 (view)

how do I tell if a guy wants a relationship or Just a one night stand? Posted: 8/9/2006 7:38:38 AM
Dear God...this is not difficult. If you DONT want a one night stand. Dont give them the opportunity to have one. TIME TELLS ALL

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 61 (view)

How true that is but if you dont think highly of yourself whp will Posted: 4/26/2006 8:46:14 PM
Lord OP What women really want is a man that is smart enough to keep the shit in check. Everyone has baggage. Smart men and women know enough to be fun and optimistic FIRST. There is no reason anyone should even know about your baggage until you both have come to the conclusion that you have alot of positive qualities and click. Then you start sharing the shit. Then if you have done the smart sale they will stick around because they also know about many of your great qualities and think you are worth it.

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 52 (view)

Why would a girl act flakey? Posted: 4/24/2006 6:23:13 PM
Iowadarling I agree. In a weird way me acting flaky is a good sign. It means I am really starting to get attached. If someone can take my weird phase then I will probably be there for a long long time.

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 116 (view)

Has anyone NEVER had a ONE NIGHT STAND? Posted: 4/24/2006 11:24:12 AM
Up until 8 months ago I would of been able to answer yes. Not sure if that counts for anything.

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 24 (view)

Everyone seems to be Looking - What Are You Finding? Posted: 4/17/2006 5:04:08 PM
I did the on line dating thing on/off for almost 2 years. Kept interdispersing the on line thing with just enjoying life. Two months ago I finally met the one. Yes this can work. However, there are a disproportionate amount of people who are just stuck in this on line world. However, it is a numbers game. Just lower your expectations but not your standards and you never know what you may find. Just first and for most have FUN.

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 103 (view)

Is it possible to fall in love, in 1 week? Posted: 4/17/2006 4:56:31 PM
I agree with the post above. Online infatuation is just that. Infatuation....caused by lonliness.

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 145 (view)

What keeps a guy from asking for a second date? Posted: 3/29/2006 8:29:22 PM
Awesome Male The point I was making is not to compromise on your ideals or likes but to determine why those ideals or likes exist. All I am saying is if you keep doing what you are doing you are bound to get the same result. Sometimes we are attracted to what we know not necessarily what is good for us. I have seen people get involved with alcoholics, abusers, cheaters etc only to get involved with the same type again and again. We are if we so choose ever evolving beings. If we all looked in the mirror more instead of at other people we would find out where the answers lie. You get what you want. Change what you want if you dont like what you are getting. There will be few people on this forum who trully understand what I am talking about because most of them are no longer on a dating site.

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 137 (view)

What keeps a guy from asking for a second date? Posted: 3/29/2006 6:02:35 PM
Popsicleman By george I think you got it!!! People there are tons of great guys and girls out there. YOU are to blame for the choices you make. Stop all the darn negativity...and change your selection criteria.

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 220 (view)

Do Women really avoid Scorpio's??? Posted: 3/19/2006 7:34:04 PM
I am a very sexual Virgo and find myself directed toward the Scorpio man. Yes my relationships with the scorpio man have been a ride so to speak. However when they love they lose themselves in it. To be the focus of a scorpio mans love is it to experience sex and love on a level that will make all other unions pale by comparison. They will ruin you in the sense that nothing less than that will ever satisfy you. Hence my new love is a Scorpio and I would not have it any other way. Scorpios so know how to rock your world!!!!!

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

The Dilemma...stress of no sex or sex Posted: 3/16/2006 8:16:46 PM
Well we are going on 3.5 weeks (7 dates). Still no shagging. We have slept naked together the last 2 dates and it is making us crazy. However...it is so working out great. He told me the other night that he was so over whelmed with us. He has only felt this way once. It was his high school sweet heart. Considering he is 38 we have something special. So all you older people who wonder if you can have that special intense thing again. Just keep on plugging away. It will happen.

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 27 (view)

Why wanting equality makes women unhappy - discuss Posted: 3/13/2006 9:57:45 PM
Men and Women are different. They are not less than or more than each other. Yes we need to have roles. Can you imagine a company where everyone was just doing what ever without being specifically responsible for certain tasks. It would be out of business before it ever started. I have learned that yes I can do most anything that a man can do outside of things requiring physical strength. However, I dont want to. Men are suppose to provide and protect women. The womens movement has created alot of men who do not act like men and hence force women to suppress their femininity and behave like men. Many men can not be trusted to fulfill their obligations. I threw in the towel to all that a while ago. I am a women and yes I am a caretaker by nature. I will never again waste my energy on men that do not step up to plate to fill their role in this picture. You men need to quit pointing fingers at the women and look in the mirror and see if you are ready, willing and capable of fulfilling your role.

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

is this too fast Posted: 3/13/2006 6:52:34 PM
Just see if his actions match his words. DO NOT THINK THE WORST. Hope for the best case scenario. I think he sounds like possibly one of the good guys....good luck.

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 225 (view)

worse thing anybody said to you before they broke your heart. Posted: 3/7/2006 4:11:35 AM
Obx22 You may have bad taste in women but you have a great attitude. One quote I always liked...Vulnerability is a show of strength not a weakness. You are one strong mother.

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 221 (view)

worse thing anybody said to you before they broke your heart. Posted: 3/6/2006 8:14:32 PM
Obx22 (mess215) Dear god you sure know how to pick them. Have you considered celibacy?

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 148 (view)

this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond! Posted: 3/6/2006 5:45:32 PM
OP Keep the faith girl. It is a numbers game. The more men you date the closer you get to the one. Just know it will happen I promise.

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 214 (view)

worse thing anybody said to you before they broke your heart. Posted: 3/6/2006 3:09:15 PM
I dont mean to hurt you but.... All those mail order brides have such great bodies...I said I have a good body...he said well at least you have a flat stomach. You have been the best woman I ever had but you are older..I was 3 years older than him. Sorry I spent the weekend with you...It was not just for the great sex I was lonely. This was my ending to a seven year relationship. Then he called 2 weeks latter like he had done nothing to leave me a message that he hoped I had a Merry Christmas. 2 months later he got engaged to a mail order princess he had just met. Hence it has taken me about a year to even enjoy a man kissing me.

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 84 (view)

Is it possible to fall in love, in 1 week? Posted: 3/6/2006 12:53:30 PM
I think it is possible to fall in extreme like/lust almost immediatly. I am going through the same thing. I met a person 2 weeks ago and I so so am in like. I have a 25 point list of everything I am looking for and he meets most all of them. I would not call it simply lust although I do look forward to experiencing him. I just so like to be with him. My husband I met and immediatly knew as well. We lasted 10 years. Anything is possible or impossible if you believe it is.

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

The Dilemma...stress of no sex or sex Posted: 3/5/2006 6:42:05 PM
Countrygurl85 Trust me in that he is like a lion ready to pounce...he is only looking for the green light. Which I am resigned will not be for a while. Due to the the reasons I am not it all feels more contrived than trully the flow of things naturally going as they should.

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 34 (view)

Rebound period Posted: 3/5/2006 6:37:23 PM
In my opinion she may not of got her own place because she was thinking he would eventually marry her and she wanted to wait and get a place with her husband. I see alot of women put off things "till they get married". Now she has given up waiting for the white prince to come and is starting to really live her life. The fact that she left him because he would not marry her may just be the excuse she is giving you. My ex and I "supposably" broke up because I did not want children. The truth is much more complicited then that. All that said I would give her a solid year of being on her own.

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

The Dilemma...stress of no sex or sex Posted: 3/3/2006 7:26:26 AM
Veedub447 You are so not right and I cant help but love you for it.

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

The Dilemma...stress of no sex or sex Posted: 3/2/2006 8:22:34 PM
The ONLY reason I am waiting is because I do not ever want him to wonder if I am an easy women or an unrespectable women. One of my girls who knows about the literally 150+ guys I have said no to laughed when I told her my dilemma. Here I have remained respectable all this time and the one who I actually care what he thinks I am ready to throw in the towel on. The thing is everything is just so right. Every night we are together is PERFECT. The biggest reason is I am so comfortable just being me. However, not wanting to be with him because I want to have sex with him is just so not good. It is like I am forcing myself not to be who I really am. In reference to masterbating...this is not about sexual relief it is about wanting to be with him in all his essence...the merging of the bodies and souls.

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

A woman in my area , It's all about the shoes ?? Posted: 3/2/2006 8:08:07 PM
This chick so does not "get it". She is so superficial and empty. For the life of me I do not get anyone even wasting their time on getting her. Unless of course you dont "get it" either.

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

The Dilemma...stress of no sex or sex Posted: 3/2/2006 6:36:48 PM
I have been dating on and off for almost 2 years. I have dated a couple guys a couple months. However I never slept with them it did not feel right. Well believe it or not...I trully believe I have met the one!!!! We have been dating for about a week and a half (3 dates). Met on line from another sight. I have only felt this sure of someone once in my life...and I ended up married to him. I am no fool...this is not just some chemistry thing...he trully has everything I am looking for. I believe he feels the same way. He is being very respectful. We have got into some hot and heavy kissing but he is so behaving. He even stated that he understands that I am not the type to rush into anything and that is fine. That said it just feels so natural to just be with him. I have not been in a relationship for over a year (not a rebound). I do not just feel this way for no reason (I have incredible insight into people). This not sleeping with him is almost stressful. I dont want to be alone with him too much because it makes me crazy. Should I play by "my rules" and be completly stressed out the next couple months or should I follow my gut and just go for it in the next few weeks?

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

coping with frustration & disappointment of dating Posted: 3/2/2006 6:25:29 PM
Lower your expectations but not your standards. Just look at dating as going out to meet a new friend and have a good time....nothing more. That said it gets so tiring and disappointing. Just remember each date brings you closer to the one.

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 29 (view)

Tests to Disqualify Women/Men Posted: 3/2/2006 6:20:24 PM
This is so silly. Of course we all have our internal list of what is important to us. It does not make the person who fails the test less than anyone else. It simply means this person is not the combination of qualities that I deam important in my life. If more people relized that someone not calling for a second date is not an insult to you it is simply a reflection of what they are looking for I think people would enjoy dating. It is a numbers game. The more you date the closer you are getting to the one that "fits".

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 62 (view)

My theory about relationships. Posted: 2/24/2006 11:05:43 AM
DopeyJoe I am a very self sufficient women who will admit 100% truth to alot of what you say. I would like nothing better than to be taken care of by a man. Unfortunatly I am a smart women and it is hard to find a man that I trust to take care of me. It amazes me how foolish many men are in reference to money etc. So what do I do dumb myself down?

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Viagra not needed, cold showers are Posted: 2/23/2006 6:32:30 PM
The best way to avoid sexual over load... ...masterbate before date and do not hang out in private. I do my best to do things out and about instead of going to his or my house. Considering it is highly unlikely I am going to rip all my clothes off and shag with a bunch of people watching. Would rather not get arrested early in a relationship.

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 307 (view)

What do you ladies prefer...Muscular, Skinny or Fat guys? Posted: 2/23/2006 6:18:03 PM
Guys who look perfect worry me for 2 reasons...I think they may be a bit self centered or they will expect me to be as perfect.

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 546 (view)

GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage? Posted: 2/22/2006 6:50:55 AM
For the religous chorus out there Malonel is a voice of reason. The problem with the religous right is not their opinions it is that they proclaim their opinion and that they believe that their way is the right way. Their way is the only way. It is just an example of extreme prejudice. It is a reflection of ego...I am right and everyone is wrong. The most interesting thing about this religous self rightous group is that low and behold the evangelists and bible spewing group have the highest rate of divorce of any religous group. Interesting is it not. The bible states to judge a tree by the fruit it bares so I guess that sums it up. Would I wait to make love till I was married...no way. Would I wait to find the person I want to love before I make love again...you bet. There are extremes and then there is a realistic moral code to live by if you seek love. To each his own self be true.

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 110 (view)

What keeps a guy from asking for a second date? Posted: 2/21/2006 7:26:46 AM
Keyvan I think you got it. Lord are you not suppose to have a good time regardless if they are the one or not. I always make sure someone has a good time when they are on a date. Does that mean I want to see them again....not necessarily. Just let it go...now this disappearing stuff after a few dates. I guess they got to know you better and just decided they did not like you as much as they thought. Is that not what dating is about getting to know someone. Unless you have some sort of commitment...you have nothing.

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 92 (view)

What keeps a guy from asking for a second date? Posted: 2/19/2006 7:34:08 AM
Galaxie75 That freak is just using you to boost his own ego. Do not let him get away with it.

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 55 (view)

how do I tell if a guy wants a relationship or Just a one night stand? Posted: 2/18/2006 4:12:04 PM
If you want to see if you are more than a oe ight stand. DOnt allow yourself to be a one night stand. It is by no means using sex as a weapon. I often joke I am hard to get but once so one gets me all the beging or waiting is done. I RARLY say no unless I am sick, exhausted or they have done something so bad that there is not way I have any desore for them (rare).

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 77 (view)

Sex on the first date...do you go there?? Posted: 2/18/2006 8:20:02 AM
dcbtxldy I like you was intimate the first night with my then to be husband. We both were just very very lucky. He is the only one I did that with. In general going to bed with someone on the first night is not a good idea unless you never want it to amount to anything. At this stage of the game..it is just not fruitful.

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Why Is It So Hard To Find A Honest Faithful and Caring Guy these days? Posted: 2/17/2006 1:32:34 PM
Probably because you are too nice. Men seem to like difficult women. If you make no money, have no brain, are kind of ditsy and difficult....they love you. I do not understand it. Even if my comitted serious relationships when I was too into them they would start taking me for granted. Then I would have to get difficult...it is so stupid but true.

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 73 (view)

Can women tell how a man will preform in bed.... Posted: 2/16/2006 6:40:57 PM
My ex boyfriend and I danced horrible together. We just were so very very out of synch. I use to joke how in the world are we so good in bed together....but we were the best off the dance floor.

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

what if i just statred asking women to marry Posted: 2/15/2006 7:55:34 AM
Just log on to on of those Russian women sites...you can get a bunch to marry you ASAP

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

Fantasy Fulfillment--Once you do it, does it diminish it's drive? Posted: 2/13/2006 1:30:11 PM
DO NOT DO IT IF YOU VALUE YOUR RELATIONSHIP!!!! Every person I know who did this it messed up their relationship with thier mate. Just keep it in your head not put it into reality!!!

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Fantasy Fulfillment--Once you do it, does it diminish it's drive? Posted: 2/13/2006 1:29:30 PM
DO NOT DO IT IF YOU VALUE YOUR RELATIONSHIP!!!! Every person I know who did this it messed up their relationship with thier mate. Just keep it in your head not put it into reality!!!

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Fantasy Fulfillment--Once you do it, does it diminish it's drive? Posted: 2/13/2006 1:28:47 PM
DO NOT DO IT IF YOU VALUE YOUR RELATIONSHIP!!!! Every person I know who did this it messed up their relationship with thier mate. Just keep it in your head not put it into reality!!!

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 99 (view)

Younger men have spoiled me!!! Posted: 2/13/2006 12:16:14 PM
I am with you too girl. I am actually 41 (change my age for search purposes only). I seem to attract young guys too. They are more open less cynical and just more fun usually. I usually date men 32-39. I have yet to be attracted to a single man over 40. They just dont look good and seem to need to find a young chick to prove they still have it. I have started only dating the ones that have children because I am not interested in propagating further. When I go out I RARLY get a single guy my age to hit on me. The thing that has been uncomfortable is that I have a daughter (21) that is in their age bracket. As one guy put it..."It is just weird that someone hot could have a daughter that could be hot." All of my girlfriends are dating men from 3-10 years younger then them. I really think for a myraid of reasons in many instances younger guys and older women are more compatable. Unlike the eye candy thing for men datig younger women it really has to do with true compatability....sexually, confident, less fickle, more appreciative, live the same length of time etc. So go for it you are not alone with this!!!!

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

Trust Issues... Posted: 2/13/2006 10:37:30 AM
YAMI That is good advice. I do so want to look at this as a learning experience and not make the same mistake ever again. I just dont want it to prevent me from making any decisions at all. I have loved good men in the past. I am by nature not a serial bad relationship person. Just one that was very very bad. It takes a while to shake that away (7 years on/off). I just think my fear is preventing me from experiencing life instead of my lessons from guiding me. It just hurts to know this and feel so helpless to it. My best feature is my heart and warmth. Now it seems that it has become my handicap. For whatever I feel I feel completly and with such depth. For someone to use this against me is life changing.

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

Trust Issues... Posted: 2/13/2006 10:37:25 AM
YAMI That is good advice. I do so want to look at this as a learning experience and not make the same mistake ever again. I just dont want it to prevent me from making any decisions at all. I have loved good men in the past. I am by nature not a serial bad relationship person. Just one that was very very bad. It takes a while to shake that away (7 years on/off). I just think my fear is preventing me from experiencing life instead of my lessons from guiding me. It just hurts to know this and feel so helpless to it. My best feature is my heart and warmth. Now it seems that it has become my handicap. For whatever I feel I feel completly and with such depth. For someone to use this against me is life changing.

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 142 (view)

What is unconditional love to you? Posted: 2/13/2006 10:06:13 AM
Unconditional love only exists between a parent and a child. The closest thing to unconditional love in a romantic relationship is the acceptance of who that person is. However if a person is not respectful of you in the truest of sense....faithful, nonabusive or comitted to your relationship you must leave. That does not mean you do not love them only you can not be with someone who does not love you back for that would be abuse. Differences are where unconditional love are demonstrated in a romantic realtionship. If someone is messy, not as good with the money etc. or you just get bored. No one is going to be just like you. No one is perfect. That crazy kind of love does not last forever. Abuse is where the limits are set and self love must take over.

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 141 (view)

What is unconditional love to you? Posted: 2/13/2006 10:06:05 AM
Unconditional love only exists between a parent and a child. The closest thing to unconditional love in a romantic relationship is the acceptance of who that person is. However if a person is not respectful of you in the truest of sense....faithful, nonabusive or comitted to your relationship you must leave. That does not mean you do not love them only you can not be with someone who does not love you back for that would be abuse. Differences are where unconditional love are demonstrated in a romantic realtionship. If someone is messy, not as good with the money etc. or you just get bored. No one is going to be just like you. No one is perfect. That crazy kind of love does not last forever. Abuse is where the limits are set and self love must take over.

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Trust Issues... Posted: 2/13/2006 8:35:22 AM
Yami I respect your honestly and comfort of being who you are. However, I do not want to close my heart off of all the pleasure in order to protect myself from the pain. I have experienced such deep connections through love in my life. To the point where I could feel what a person was doing they were not with me. I could look in their eyes and know everything that was going on behind them. Where there touch could just melt away the entire world around us. No I dont want to live the rest of my life without experiencing that again. It is the closest thing to heaven we experience in this life. Even if the pain of losing that is the most devestating pain one could ever imagine.

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Trust Issues... Posted: 2/13/2006 7:05:03 AM
Thank you everyone for your well wishes. I do think the only way I am going to be able to get close and trust someone is for me to be friends first. It is so hard to crave closeness yet to fear it at the same time. I hope that you are all right and that one day this will all be just a memory and not just my new reality. It is amazing how some people can be so cold and care free with peoples hearts. To get to a point in their in mind where there only concern is for themselves even to someone who has loved and cared for them. The one thing that this has taught me is appreciation. I so appreciate the friends I have and how lucky I was to of been with several other men in my life that did trully love me for me. It was not until I was almost fourty that I had my heart burned so. I thank god that I have spent most of my life open and loving. I pray everyday that one day I will wake from this nightmare. Thank you again everyone for making me feel that I am not crazy or alone in this feeling.

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Trust Issues... Posted: 2/12/2006 2:51:13 PM
I had my heart broke beyond belief. It has been about 18 months now since our demise. I so want to love and care for someone again. Unfortunatly everytime I get even remotly close to someone I get almost panic attacks. I start evaluating everything they are doing thinking they really have some sort angle etc. It actually brings tears to my eyes just to think about being close to someone. It is as though my mind has been reprogrammed to associate love with pain. How do I ever mend my heart when I almost can not feel anymore? Will it ever go away? It hurts me so to know I am my own worst enemy but how do I make my heart be open again? It makes me angry that I have let someone do this to me. I was such an open loving fearless person. Will I ever be me again?

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 61 (view)

Sex on the first date...do you go there?? Posted: 2/11/2006 8:28:17 AM
Yes and I married him.

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 50 (view)

If you are DIVORCED, did you know...? Posted: 2/7/2006 3:31:32 PM
I knew my husbands faults when I married him. What I did not know is how much those faults would effect our relationship. I did not know how much I would change. We were together 10 years. It did not work out but I would not trade the dreams and the feelings I experienced with him. Sometimes things are not meant to last forever but that does not mean they were a mistake or that you are a failure. Even though it ended I still think he is a good person and he trully loved me for me. I have come to realize how hard that is to find.

realthing2

Joined: 1/17/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Can i recover from gay husband??? Posted: 2/7/2006 6:41:09 AM
You poor women. You did not drive him to be gay. He was always gay. Do not feel like he lied to you all these years. I am sure he lied to himself as well and just finally had to face the facts. You are a beautiful wonderful women. This is not a reflection on you it is a reflection of "him". If he was married to a super model the outcome would of been the same.

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