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 Author Thread: ok - have at it
 Chuck1619
Joined: 3/29/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
ok - have at it
Posted: 9/22/2009 11:32:08 AM
OK, the goatee stays ... so much for revisiting my streaking career
 Chuck1619
Joined: 3/29/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
ok - have at it
Posted: 9/21/2009 11:29:11 AM
Thanks curlytop ...

The cropped photo isn't an ex, just an acquaintance who wouldn't have wanted to be in the pic - guess I can try to touch it up, or take another. I've got plenty of nice clothes, just no photos wearing them, I can work on this one.

Your rewrite of the troublesome paragraph is in the right direction, however I do want to keep the thread of honesty alive even though it means having a bit of negativity out there in the open. Quite frankly, I'm not fixated on looking for anything specific at this point in time as I do need to get some personal things in order - and besides, all of the above sound just great ;-)

I think you're correct about the definition of 'Mr. Right Now'. I just used it as a play on words, as I had met a couple of very nice ladies shortly after my divorce, who were very ready to get married.

Thanks again, really appreciate the tips ...
 Chuck1619
Joined: 3/29/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
ok - have at it
Posted: 9/21/2009 11:18:02 AM
Thanks for the feedback wiiman ... A couple of clarifications ...

I agree the 'What, you want more' section needs work, and while I feel it makes no sense to dwell on the negative, I do want to keep it honest. Hoping the sense of humor and other positives are enough for a woman to see past some temporary setbacks and file me away under 'guy w/ potential'. Same w/ the ex-comment - it's there and is unlikely to go away any time soon - wish things were more drama free, but tha's not my life right now ...

I found the sunspots, non-working pens and lego futures kind of inspired work, so i think i'll leave it be. I'll consider removing the SOB, but it's pretty benign as far as cuss-words go and it feels more my style to leave it in.

Re: the shrek and myspayce commentary: Shrek is an ogre, not a troll, and a damn good guy for an ogre at that (if you haven't had a chance, check out the first movie, it really is quite good); the myspayce reference is for anyone interested enough to take a more in-depth look at interests, some humorous blogs, etc ... (though I suppose that may well fall into the category of desperate).

The masseuse section is half a rip-off from The Holy Grail (the scene from the Castle Anthrax w/ Sir Galahad the Chaste), half wishful thinking and 100% honest (and yes delusional as well). I may yank it when things turn around sufficiently that I'm ready for something a little more serious. Interesting that it comes off as egotistical - overconfidence isn't something i'm typically guilty of ...

My name is Chuck, Denny Crane is the over-the-top funny-as-hell character William Shatner plays on Boston Legal (so, yeah, perhaps there are too many inside jokes ...)

Thanks again for the tips - loosing the goatee will be a toughie, I'll feel nekkid after having it for ~12 years ...
 Chuck1619
Joined: 3/29/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
ok - have at it
Posted: 9/19/2009 11:47:59 AM
So, whaddaya all think? Seemed easier to write once I tried not to take it too seriously. Think i managed to keep a fair amount of the pertinent stuff in there though ...
 Chuck1420
Joined: 3/29/2009
Msg: 572 (view)
 
IM turns me off.
Posted: 5/26/2009 7:46:27 PM
I didn't read all 23 pages on this thread, so this may already have been suggested, but perhaps some sort of happy medium would be to provide a link to YIM or something along those lines with a standard disclaimer that it's not part of PoF ...

Regards,
Chuck
 Chuck1420
Joined: 3/29/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Suggestions & Comments?
Posted: 5/26/2009 7:37:39 PM
Hey Jen, I'm new here as well, so while I have a couple of suggestions, I really have no idea whether they'll pan out in the real PoF world (translation - take this with a healthy slug of salt).

Before spending a lot of time mucking with your profile, you may want to spend a few minutes deciding how you want to use the site to accomplish your goals. From what I've gathered PoF provides several avenues to try and find Mr./Mrs. Right:

1. Put together a profile and hope Mr. Right happens to stumble across you in one of his searches, reads your profile thoroughly enough to realize that something clicks on his end and spends the time to put together a thoughtful, cheeky intro that also happens to grab your attention. Go on a successful first date followed by several others, get engaged, married and live happily ever after;-)

2. Check out the profiles of guys who've added you to their favorites and decide whether you're interested enough to send an icebreaker - proceed with option 1.

3. Create one or more searches using some or all of the criteria you've spec'd out, scope out the pond yourself, find someone who's photo you're attracted to (hope it's a real/recent pic) and has a profile that clicks with you, spend the time to put together a thoughtful, snarky intro (use your judgment based on the profile to decide how far you want to push this initially) that hopefully grabs his interest. Go on a successful first date followed by several others, get engaged, married and live happily ever after;-)

4. Consider adding guys whose photos/profiles you found interesting to your favorites if you're not comfortable sending an icebreaker email. Hopefully they'll get the hint and proceed with option 2.

5. Hang out here in the forums, strike a rapport with someone who meets none of your criteria, go on a date, live happily ever after dot dot dot ...

In all seriousness, I'd expect it's easier for women to get more attention and responses than men so you've got that going for you (which is nice). As for the really short messages - to some extent, this is a numbers game so it's possible you're just seeing messages from every guy who stumbled across your picture and finds you attractive (meaning that some guys may simply browse around and send a quick 'Hi' to every attractive woman they come across) without regard to your criteria (I'm personally far more respectful so I simply added you to my favorites;-).

OTOH, it's not entirely unreasonable to expect that some guys may be uncomfortable with the online thing, or not have terrific ice-breaking skills and hope you'll check out their profile, find something you like, take the initiative and melt the ice a little more thoroughly.

You didn't mention how many responses you received so its difficult to determine how much frustration you're entitled to;-) I'd suggest you take the heavy response as a form of flattery and don't get too hung up on the quality of the messages - I don't doubt it's something of an Idiocracy out there;-)

Your approach ought to take into account how comfortable you are in breaking the ice. If you're uncomfortable making the first move, you can simply take the passive approach (Option 1 (and possibly 4 to show some interest)) and work through the messages as time permits (Block, Delete, Follow-up or mentally Flag for Follow-up).

If you're ok with reaching out, check whose added you to their favorites and craft a base search from your criteria (options 4 & 3 respectively) and reach out to the guys that interest you.

You may find it necessary to modify your criteria, so think about which ones you're willing to be flexible about. Are you really willing to travel 75 miles to go bowling for a first date - would you want to go on a date with someone desperate enough to drive 75 miles to go bowling with you? You'll definitely want to start your baseline search more locally? Is there that big a difference between a 33 and 36yr old or 23 and 25 for that matter?

As for profile specifics - you may want to add a little more detail on what you're looking for in a guy. Doesn't have to be a set of mandatory requirements, but a wish list, or seed list of turn-on's wouldn't hurt (turn-offs that aren't standard PoF filters would also be useful). I think your first note about being overwhelmed is a nice gesture, but would probably stick it at the end rather than up front. If a guy doesn't make it to the end of 2-3 paragraphs, he's probably not worth your time.

I'd also suggest unzipping the Nomex suit a little, since all we really do is click on pictures of hot chicks showing skin anyhow - RDH ;-)

Hope you find this helpful ...

Chuck
 
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