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comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

Confused..... Posted: 5/26/2009 1:28:56 PM
kpooks, it is not that women "have become men" because many men do not behave as you describe (ie, aggressive, etc) BUT the fact that many women believe that they can be women, men or anything else they wish to be when it suits their interests and can act-out without any consequences. Unfortunately many men reinforce this out-of-touch behavior by not holding these 'ladies accountable.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

Confused..... Posted: 5/26/2009 9:39:26 AM
Mets, with all due respect you are coming across like an immature, whining kid! Because you spent $300 dollars or five thousand does not imply that this dame owes you anything. In fact you got laid, had a good time but like everything else in life nothing is guaranteed including any continuity with this "lovely" lady. If you are complaining about your $300 I can just imagine if you got married and your wife wanted a divorce including half of your pension, your four hundred thousand dollar house and other possessions while sleeping with your best friend! You would be out of your cotton pickin mind. Get hold of yourself my friend. You got off easy and laid to boot! Not a bad deal for a measly three hundred bucks.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 45 (view)

Why do girls want A-holes? Posted: 5/26/2009 8:46:32 AM
Yes, it is the man's responsiblity as well to avoid getting involved in a relationship with a dysfunctional woman. Unfortunately many men are led by their genitals not their good sense as well as by their psychopathology which pulls them into negative relationships with crazy women. Although counseling is an option MOST men will not be amenable to this intervention to gain insight into their destructive patterns of serial attraction to dysfunctional women but merely continue to engage in similar destructive relationships ad infinitum. So in these cases it is best that vulnerable, sensitive men who KNOW that they are attracted to such negative relationships should attempt to be vigilant and to objectively remove themselves from any signs of dysfunctionality as soon as the "lady" in question displays evidence of being problematic and not out for their well being and interests.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 42 (view)

Why do girls want A-holes? Posted: 5/26/2009 7:52:05 AM
A very interesting observation was brought to my attention a few years back by an astute acquantance. He noted that many women who run around with so-called "A-holes" and who are abused, used and discarded by them, subsequently seek out the so-called "nice guy", the schmuck, to be the "Clean-Up" man in her life! In short, he gets the "privledge" of having to put up with her anger, disappointments and her sudden realization that she wishes to live a "settled life" . His "reward" is to take on ALL the responsibilities and problems that are heaped on him by the rejected lady and that were unfulfilled by the A-Hole, with little if any of the wild, good times that his lady bestowed on his predecessor. Although a generalization there is a valid basis for this observation and that is why ALL men should be very careful to heed signs of problematic women and to head towards the nearest exit UNLESS they have no reservations regarding being the clean-up man for some out-of-touch, oblivious woman who has selected them to solely serve her needs and interests.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 34 (view)

Why do girls want A-holes? Posted: 5/25/2009 4:51:15 PM
startingfromscratch, although I appreciate your frankness and I believe that your points are valid, in fact it is not a "healthy" man's problem if a woman hasn't got her act together and continues to be attracted to screwed up guys. In fact what these "healthier" men need to do is be on guard and ready to exit the moment one of these women starts to act-out and displays ambivalence, indifference, lack of respect, rages of other manifestations of not being sufficiently integrated psychologically. The question these healthier men need to ask themselves is why should they be subjected to or compromise for anything but a loving and respectful relationship from a woman? And the answer is that any relationship that offers less than respectful, caring and compassionate feelings is unacceptable. Like anyone else, we are all responsible for our behavior and actions towards others and IF a woman, especially ones in their thirties, forties and beyond have not corrected their ways of interacting appropriately with good men, then that is too bad!

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 31 (view)

Why do girls want A-holes? Posted: 5/25/2009 3:50:28 PM
Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen, I truly don't understand where some of you guys come up with some of your notions about what characteristics in a man attracts many women. In fact it is not a matter of being an A-hole BUT of having a strong sense of self, confidence in who you are and the fortitude to stand strong on your beliefs and values that attracts many women, NOT being a f_cked up schmuck! In addition the women who are attracted to f_cked up men are dysfunctional with extremely poor self-images and low self-esteem who have no idea as to their own identity, resulting in their not knowing what they want in a man. This results in their ambivalence, rages, moodiness and inability to connect and commit to a good man . The actual issue you guys need to address is not what these pathologically disturbed "ladies" need or desire in a man BUT YOUR propensity to be attracted to such women instead of seeking more emotionally stable and available partners! In short many men, due to their lack of confidence and insecurity, seek out women with similar characteristics and traits resulting in a dysfunctional enmeshed "relationship that never evolves and goes absolutely nowhere! Oh, and one additional point. Instead of wasting too much time focusing on these dysfunctional dames, whenever you perceive the telltale signs of dysfunctionality in certain women, no matter how attractive they are or how attracted you may be to them, YOU need to use your BIG head (ie, the one that is hopefully on top of your shoulders) and hustle your ass out and avoid them like the plague. There are quite a few of these women out there, and it gets worse the older you become, and the faster you guys wise up to this fact the less time, pain and regret you will experience.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Sick of being the second rate guy.. Posted: 5/24/2009 7:24:38 PM
miss contemplative, it is not necessarily a matter of a lack of sex appeal but could be the type of women these guys are attracted to! So it is not merely a matter of getting a new haircut or wardrobe but of seeking out women with whom these guys share common interests and values. Although keeping oneself well groomed is essential for men and women, this concept of a "boyfriend" look is poppycock! IF a woman likes a guy she will be attracted to him for him, regardless of his haircut or wardrobe and NOT for some vacuous concept as a so-called "boyfriend look. In fact if a haircut or wardrobe is what a woman is seeking let her date a male mannequin from a department store that meets her superficial needs. In fact any woman who is focused on such trite characteristics rather than the inner qualities of a man should be a warning sign to any savvy guy to move on expedtiously.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Just freinds? Posted: 5/23/2009 3:57:04 PM
My young friend the lady said that she just wished to be friends. There is nothing to question and no need to review this matter in depth. It is straightforward. You guys met and hung out, had a nice time and she decided that she just wished to have you as a friend. No less, no more. So rather than obsess or ask others for their feedback as to what this mean it is in your ball park as to whether you wish to go along with this lady's perception and merely be friends or feel that does not meet your needs and move on. It is as simple as that.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

want advise about a 8 year marriage ending Posted: 5/21/2009 4:45:13 PM
pocketspeed, there is no need to see what "...her true intentions are", because we already know! Psychologically she is out of this relationship and has already moved on. She is merely toying with this guy and has no intentions of talking from the heart or engaging in compromise. Her antics and ploys are grossly oblivious of the needs of her husband or what is in his best interests.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

want advise about a 8 year marriage ending Posted: 5/21/2009 3:28:30 PM
I disagree with those who believe that you should continue to accept your wife's game playing antics such as coming over to your house , behaving child-like and lovey-dovey, as if nothing has gone awry, only to end the day by talking about divorce! This "lady" is no longer a partner but a person who feels she is in the driver's seat and not receptive to an open discussion or compromise with you. She solely appears to be concerned with her needs, interests and future well being. Unfortunately you will be left out of any of her future plans while she plays her immature games with absolutely no regard as to your feelings of loss or your present and future psychological well being. IMHO, it appears best to cut ties and communication with this woman and to refuse any future contact with her as well as confer with an attorney. Her immature behavior and acting-out BS needs to be structured and that can only occur if you take control of this situation.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 260 (view)

What age is acceptable for a man to be living with his parents? Posted: 5/19/2009 5:56:30 PM
In a world such as ours where virtually anything goes and aberrancy is the norm, men who live at home until an older age should not be singled out or stereotyped as being immature or not viable for a relationship. This is even more so considering the outrageous behavior of many women in their thirties, forties and fifties who behave and interact as if they were teeny boppers! So guys if you are living at home you have no need to rationalize or defend your reasons for doing so. You need to do what is best for yourself and prioritize your needs based on your perceptions of what is right, NOT what some women think is "normal" behavior or in your best interests.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Dealing with the paranoia of being cheated on. Posted: 5/19/2009 1:20:53 PM
When any of us have a pattern of choosing the same partners, such as abusive ones or those who cheat, from one relationship to another, then the question arises as to where the problem arises. In fact it appears that you are selecting a certain type woman because there are women who do not cheat BUT you seem to be attracting the cheating types. Just some food for thought.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

women are players tooo! Posted: 5/19/2009 6:11:47 AM
Steve, quite frankly you are taking this woman's inappropriate behavior too seriously! There are many people in general, men and women, who display a lack of concern, compassion or empathy towards the feelings of others so this "lady's" actions are not atypical. However many women believe that they can behave in any manner they wish without the same level of accountability that are expected from men. Believe me if you would have done the same thing to this woman she would have freaked out, bad rapped you all over the forum, etc, etc. So let it go BUT keep in mind that you need to be more detached and objective regarding the antics of certain women and by all means do not take it personally.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 143 (view)

Nice guys finish last is a sad truth... Posted: 5/17/2009 4:27:50 PM
Swridgerunner, I experienced a similar situation whereby this woman would make cutting and devaluing remarks, engage in periodic screaming rages and threaten to leave the relationship when she did not get her way. So one day I decided it was enough, walked out on her, had a friend return her clothes, did not return her calls even though she called a number of times leaving sexually provocative messages and never returned to that dysfunctional "relationship". So you are correct. If one experiences get-over behavior that demonstrates that your partner does not care about your well being or lacks compassion, kindness and empathy, say good-bye, with no vindicativeness and move on while making it clear that you do not wish any continuity. I can forgive alot of negative characteristics BUT when a mate shows signs of not having respect or compassion for their mate, it is time to cease the relationship expeditiously.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

When she meets someone else Posted: 5/17/2009 9:12:21 AM
In spite of the fact that you spoke frequently on the phone for hours non-stop and saw her on some weekends, in fact this was still a long distance relationship and this lady still had opportunities to meet and date men in closer proximity to her, which she obviously did. FYI, although some long distance relationships work out, most don't for various reasons. Most significantly, based on your comment that there have been a number of past occasions whereby women you went out with didn't marry you but instead married the next guy in line, provides indication as to the sort of women you are chosing to date! Based on the fact that you had information regarding this current lady's history of serial dating BUT that this did not deter you from dating her, should open your eyes as to whether you are denying not so favorable characterisitics in the women you dated who were really not viable for you but who you were attracted to for whatever reasons, and dated nonetheless. It is one thing making one or two errors in dating inappropriate partners and to learn from these mistakes. We all make misjudgements and hopefully make better choices in the future. However, based on your insight that you have a string of such relationships that did not result in happy endings, should give indication that you have a pattern of such choices that is not leading to your developing a committed relationship. So does the problem revolve around you, your current level of readiness for a committed relationship and/or your capacity to make wise decisions regarding evaluating women as potential candidates for a relationship? In fact we cannot project blame on these women because YOU selected them and dated them. So if you are very dissatisfied with this pattern and do not feel able to modify it, it may be to your advantage to speak with a counselor to assist you in understanding the rationale for these inappropriate selections and to become more adept at making better choices of appropriate women.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 29 (view)

do females that do the break up feel just as terrible as the partner? Posted: 5/17/2009 6:49:33 AM
The real question that needs to be answered is what does it really matter if the woman who breaks up with you feels just as terrible as you do? In fact it doesn't matter much unless receiving the consolation prize of her pity and guilt is better than nothing! In lieu of getting stuck with whether or not she is "hurting" for you it is more beneficial to spend your time seeking a real relationship with a partner who cares and wants to be with you rather than continue torturing yourself with speculation about an issue that is quite frankly holding you back from moving on with your life.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

When she meets someone else Posted: 5/17/2009 6:37:15 AM
With all due respect and understanding of the pain you are experiencing, in fact it appears that it was not you sister's input that contributed to the end of this "relationshp" because in spite of all the text messages, e-mails and belief that you had a thing going on with this woman, in fact there never was a solid foundation and that is why this "relationship" petered out and ended! Let's be frank. Both of you lived in separate states so right off there was a significant obstacle in developing an ongoing relationship. In addition, having some good times and good vibes does not necessariy translate into love and being together for the rest of your lives. Furthermore, this lady was engaged in serial dating so the question arises as to her readiness to commit to a relationship. In short you are placing alot more emphasis on the POTENTIAL of this relationship to evolve rather than what ACTUALLY existed between both of you. IMHO it appears that by obsessing about this distant relationship is a means for you not to become involved in a REAL relationship with a woman who lives "next door" and who is available and capable of committment. The question is are you ready to commit to a REAL relationship? Just some food for thought.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 198 (view)

The bimbo-ization of women and its effects on relationships Posted: 5/14/2009 6:29:38 PM
geeleebee, valid points! I totally agree that this entire thread has been opinion-based and therefore the opinions are neither correct nor incorrect but are simply opinions. However, whether some opinions have more weight than others has not been established because neither I or any poster has taken the time to review the research literature to discern if there is substantive data available to support one position over the other. In regard to individuals shaping their own worlds this is a given BUT does not lead to the generalized negation of the power of the media, as well as from other external forces, to impact on this shaping process and in my opinion it does. We do not form our everyday perceptions of reality solely from our internal experiences or in a vacuum but from the confluence of myriad external influences, such as parental values and worldviews, as well as those from teachers, mentors and other intrinsic life experiences that are integrated and meshed into our unique perception of reality. The media in its varied forms is one of these external factors and can be instrumental in contributing to the values and worldviews of individuals, sometimes positively, other times neutral and in certain circumstances, deleteriously.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 196 (view)

The bimbo-ization of women and its effects on relationships Posted: 5/14/2009 5:34:09 PM
According to Spitfire, "No one else but you (Comfort) needs to provide any empirical evidence". However, Spitfire previously asserted in reponse to the theme of this thread, " Judging by the responses on this thread (and by every reasonable analysis of real life) this phenomenon does not impact society the way you (Comfort) claim it does". Spitfire let us stick with your comment above as an opener! YOU made a generalized counter claim above without one iota of "empirical" evidence except your opinion that does not disprove anything I stated! For your information my sagacious friend, if YOU are so certain I am incorrect and make a statement that says as much, I can expect that you provide substantive proof, other than your opinion, that disproves it! And by your countering that ONLY I must provide this proof is poppycock. In fact you are infantilizing participants on this thread and treating them like dolts by expecting them to believe that because a poster who initiates a thread based on his beliefs and opinions , who never claimed to have a hold on the absolute truth regarding this topic, is SOLELY responsible for providing empirical data to support his position while YOU don't. In short in any debate the party who holds that their opposition's opening statement is invalid is responsible for proving their assertion is accurate and if they don't then their counter claims and assertions are spurious.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 195 (view)

The bimbo-ization of women and its effects on relationships Posted: 5/14/2009 4:45:59 PM
Packagedeal3x, quote: "...I think most people agree that I am a kind, compassionate.........................................and receptive poster....."" Of course MOST people think that way because it is quite evident that you possess all of these characteristics because you told us so. All kidding aside I am certain you are a good person, intelligent and quite attractive as well, and I mean that sincerely. Regards.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 189 (view)

The bimbo-ization of women and its effects on relationships Posted: 5/14/2009 8:29:26 AM
packagedealx3, of course the quote you note does not pertain to you! A kind, compassionate, understanding, noncombative, compromising and receptive poster who serves as a model for all of us to emulate. Thank you for pointing this out to us!

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 187 (view)

The bimbo-ization of women and its effects on relationships Posted: 5/14/2009 6:22:11 AM
Joffin, NO my friend, take responsibility for your own actions and cease projecting blame on another poster for the continuation of this thread. In fact, Comfort has not drawn you or anyone else "...deeper and deeper into the abyss", because the nature of this topic is a relevant one which apparently catalyzed alot of interest and a diverse number of opinions, many of which are quite relevant and enlightening, even in the face of disagreement. In addition the ONLY "arguing" took place when certain posters came out swinging with ad hominem remarks, attacking the messenger instead of the message. BTW, so you admit to having prurient and perverse interests in this thread. I see. Well then when can we sign you up with the Jerry Springer show. You would probably do well there.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 186 (view)

The bimbo-ization of women and its effects on relationships Posted: 5/14/2009 6:05:23 AM
spitfire, let's get this straight. YOU conducted a comprehensive survey on this forum and in society at large definitively concluding that these are NOT "pervasive issues" but as you claim are only so "...to those who choose to see them as such?" Now I understand. . In fact you are merely expressing your opinion and beliefs just as I, with no more crediblity than you claim my statements don't have. In addition what posters state here may not represent the general publics perception of these issues due to the fact that psychodemographic differences exist between subject groups. So be aware that your "scientific' conclusions are spurious and misleading. Furthermore, you are not providing any revelations when you reiterate the obvious regarding people developing their unique worldviews, priorities, values,etc. What you fail to understand is that these media shows do impact on certain individuals' perspectives and beliefs, including younger audiences, just as news commentary and political pundits can sway and modify viewers perspectives and ideology. In addition these shows reflect the cultural trends occuring within society at large and can reinforce certain patterns of behavior and attitudes in certain individuals as well. To summarily dismiss this obvious fact merely demonstrates all-or-nothing thinking which is a distortion of reality. So my all-or-nothing friend, IF you think this thread should disappear that is your right and it is my perspective that if this thread is so irrelevant to you than perhaps you would do better attending to more relevant threads in order to share your "scientifically" based sagacity that only you possess. :roll

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

My heart is tired Posted: 5/14/2009 5:22:40 AM
Kubo, I know what I have to say may not make you feel better but you are not definitely not alone in your experiences. I hear it all the time from friends, guys in their thirties to fifties, professionals earning very good incomes, fun loving, attractive, caring men in good physical condition and the story is always the same; It is extremely tough to meet quality women for a serious relationship! Oh yes there are good women available but very difficult to find. My friends note that many of the women they encounter come across with significant personal problems while some appear to be seeking unrealistic and perfect partners that only exist in GQ Magazine! In this difficult dating climate that many have to contend with it is important to maintain a good level of detached objectivity in dealing with the dating scene because being rejected is par for the course but should not deter one from not seeking a compatible partner. So keep plugging and good luck.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 180 (view)

The bimbo-ization of women and its effects on relationships Posted: 5/13/2009 10:37:15 AM
chameleof, thanks for the feedback. You are correct. My opening statement should have been more inclusive but I guess as the feedback and discussion evolved it prompted me to consider the multi-dimensional quality of this topic. In regard to whether women are currently more or less devalued than in the past, I believe that due to the power of the media to reach large audiences and society's greater accceptance and tolerance towards overt sexual displays and outrageous behavior that in years past would have not been condoned, many women are actually being more devalued and are partially responsible for this outcome due to their behaving in accordance with this mind-set.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 178 (view)

The bimbo-ization of women and its effects on relationships Posted: 5/13/2009 10:10:43 AM
chameleolf, the way I see it, it is not a matter of one or the other BUT that the media, the level of parental involvement and societal and cultural mores and expectations (and there may be other factors) have significant impact on the development and formation of individuals' worldviews, value structure and belief systems as well as their character.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 177 (view)

The bimbo-ization of women and its effects on relationships Posted: 5/13/2009 10:00:19 AM
Oldsoul: "In one breath you state that you only presented your personal opinions and in the next, you villify me and others for presenting ours. Wth?" Comfort: Once again, per your proclivity to misinterpret and misrepresent others statements, no one villified YOU or others for stating your opinions BUT disagreed when in lieu of stating your position in an objective manner YOU tend to personalize and become offensive/defensive! It is too bad that you misperceive this feedback as disagreeing with your opinions. Howwever if you cannot discern the difference between presenting your opinions and perspective in a respectful manner versus making personalized antagonistic remarks against another poster with whom you disagree, than that is your issue not mine. Oldsoul: And you never once addressed any of the many points I and many other posters presented to counter your arguments (or opinions)................................. . Comfort: Once again, you are misrepresenting facts and engaging in hyperbole to serve your interests and as a defense to deflect my feedback to you! In fact I have addressed a number of your points but you have selective attention and tend to void that which you don't wish to hear! In addition I address the points of posters who disagree with me as well, especially those who are civil, rational and receptive to discussion, not those who preface their posts with ad hominem remarks and wish to attack the messenger rather than focus on the substantive issues. Oldsoul: And no, you nor anyone (male and female) trying to berate me/my opinions won't bimborize me into silence with you/your opinions or anyone, even if my life depended on it! Comfort: Thank you for the comment above. It corroborates exactly what I stated regarding your heightened level of defensiveness, anger and over-personalization of an issue (ie bimbos) that was never directed to you personally but was merely open for general comment! This explains the underlying rationale for your blistering defensiveness, misperceptions and misinterpretations of what I did and did not state. Obviously you can do what you wish but understand that you lose points for crediblity when you engage in a distortion of the facts.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 173 (view)

The bimbo-ization of women and its effects on relationships Posted: 5/13/2009 9:32:41 AM
chameleonf, no one is disagreeing with you! Because the media is conveying and reinforcing these bimbo images every way they can does not in any way extricate parents from serving as appropriate role models and setting structure and limits to the extent in which their children emulate these bimbo icons.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

Got my heart broken then gave her another chance and it happened again Posted: 5/13/2009 9:27:02 AM
DSM1985, Although not necessarily the case BUT generally, when a mate leaves their partner for someone else but subsequently attempt to re-engage the relationship ,it is best to close the door and move on. Generally people have a tendency to repeat their behavior and actions so what you initially see and experience is not likely to change the second time around. BTW, I find your former mate's message to you to be quite lacking in compassion, kindness, decency and tact. She did not have to tell you that she was dreaming about her ex while she was with you which has absolutely no negative reflection on you whatsoever BUT reveals the out-of-touch mentality of this dame. If the shoe was reverse and you told her that you were dreaming of another woman while with her, she would be devastated and distraught and would have contacted all of her friends and feminist organizations alledging that you were abusive! IMHO, thank G_D you are rid of this person because she is obviously problematic.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 169 (view)

The bimbo-ization of women and its effects on relationships Posted: 5/13/2009 8:34:57 AM
totheone who is talking about being "submissive"? It is not a matter of being submissive at all but a cultural phenomenon that I believe is having a major impact, and not necessarily a positive one, on our society.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 167 (view)

The bimbo-ization of women and its effects on relationships Posted: 5/13/2009 8:10:47 AM
Spitfire, no one is whining but discussing an issue that pervades practically every facet of our media including entertainment, news, sporting events, etc, with significant implication for our society. Obviously your example of the actress is accurate and she is "...not a victim of bimbo-ization" but of free will. Regardless she is perceived by many of her viewing audience as being a bimbo! In addition, many young women aspire to emulate such icons as the Britney Spears and related role models resulting in their copying their style of dress and conduct. These are not isolated examples but pervasive issues that are having a major impact on our culture resulting in the so-called dumbing down of America as well as the decline of civility due to the narcissism and disregard for others that generally accompanies such bimbo antics.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 166 (view)

The bimbo-ization of women and its effects on relationships Posted: 5/13/2009 7:57:25 AM
Oldsoul, contrary to your modus operandi of personalizing and engaging in accusations and off- the -wall assumptions, such as your allegation that I am assuming that "...we're all dumb and unaware or brainwashed", in fact I never stated, implied or inferred that at all! What I did was merely express MY perceptions and MY opinions without any general assumptions as to women's ability to process these matters. It is your misinterpretation that is at issue here, as revealed in other threads as well, NOT what I or any other male actually stated! In addition your global assertion that "...everyone ("ladies" and children included) can learn to discern fact from fiction by learning How to think critically...", is ludicrous! This is because not "everone" can process these issues as you cavalierly state, and using your grand daughter as an example, regardless of her level of sophistication regarding such matters, in no way reflects on the critical thinking skills of many other young women including how they perceive and integrate these messages emanating from these bimbo oriented programs. What I do find very significant is the level of defensiveness exhibited by you in this and other threads relating to ANY issues broached by men that YOU misinterpret to imply or infer as being critical to to your gender!

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 162 (view)

The bimbo-ization of women and its effects on relationships Posted: 5/13/2009 6:52:27 AM
Whenwillthiswork26, you are right on target. Many TV shows, from the most frivolous to those with a more serious tone (ie, news programs) accentuate the sexuality of women over their competence and brains. Obviously this hyper-sexual emphasis appeals to massive audiences but anyone who states that this has NO impact on the attitudes, behavior and the manner in which men and women relate to one another are not attuned to how the media wields it power of influence to sway and manipulate peoples' perceptions and belief systems.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 161 (view)

The bimbo-ization of women and its effects on relationships Posted: 5/13/2009 6:36:02 AM
Iconoclast, speaking about "dead horses." A review of your previous posts on this and other threads reveals a history of negativity and a combative edge. As mentioned to other posters who have attempted to derail this thread, if YOU feel that this thread is irrelevant, or if you believe it is a dead equine or BS than very simply don't read or respond to it because quite frankly YOUR input is negligible!

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 159 (view)

The bimbo-ization of women and its effects on relationships Posted: 5/13/2009 6:02:39 AM
Arabianangel, I saw the same advertisment as well. Another example is women's vollyball games where the focus is on their arses sticking out of their scant shorts rather than on their skills or the game itself. Even when watching a number of news programs such as on FOX, many women anchors and commentators see nothing inappropriate or unprofessional about wearing their skirts way up their thighs which is sexually provocative! Of course if you were to ask these news reporters whether such dress is congruent with an image of professionalism on par with their male colleagues who wear suits, they may reply with something to the effect of "How dare you tell me how to dress. I am a woman and have equal rights to do what I wish". What these ladies do not understand is that their legs and arses are taking precedence over their competence and their brains, smarts and savvy in the minds of many male viewers! Now I understand how sex sells and that the producers of these shows and sporting events understand very well that very attractive and sexy women attract large viewer audiences. Unfortunately the effect on how women are perceived is primarily as sexual objects not equals on par with men.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 157 (view)

The bimbo-ization of women and its effects on relationships Posted: 5/13/2009 5:03:50 AM
Joffin, one simple question. Please show us what positive feedback you have added to this discussion other than engaging in roiling thereby doing exactly what you are accusing me of doing? We are waiting! What is truly significant about the feedback from certain posters, as the one above who contribute nothing positive to the discussion except to use it vent their angst BUT claim that I am the center of the problem, is that they fail to perceive and acknowledge their role in initiating and perpetuating this flaming situation ! They merely project the blame on the poster who will not tolerate such antics. In spite of their lack of insight, these individuals are actually part and parcel of the core problem as to why this thread went astray.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 154 (view)

The bimbo-ization of women and its effects on relationships Posted: 5/12/2009 7:06:25 PM
mizz demeanor, "Angry forum sex.... and they're making everyone else watch"? So are you saying they are voyeurs?

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 145 (view)

The bimbo-ization of women and its effects on relationships Posted: 5/12/2009 11:59:51 AM
Florence Balcombe, calm down! We are not discussing the collapse of the banking system but a subject entitled bimbo. Of course you are not angry, defensive or arguing with me or even calling me names. It is all in my imagination. . In the meantime do you have something of value to add to the thread or not? If not move on because I am certain if you started a thread and I interjected with my objections thereby derailing your thread all h-ll would let loose. Thank you and have a good day.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 144 (view)

The bimbo-ization of women and its effects on relationships Posted: 5/12/2009 11:50:11 AM
packagedeal3x, you are on a roll and unfortunately I am not in a rolling mood. So I acknowledge your contribution to the thread and apologize for not recalling every single sentence and phrase that each poster stated prior to my mentioning it. I guess my memory is not as sharp as it used to be. Oh by the way the more you rant and the more you attack the more you are revealing that the theme of this thread is disturbing you in spite of your protestations and denial that it is not. That is fine. Just wanted you to know that the more you attack me the more it is clear that there is an underlying basis for these attacks that transcends my comments or not using the right quotation marks. Just my opinion.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 142 (view)

The bimbo-ization of women and its effects on relationships Posted: 5/12/2009 11:46:18 AM
Florence Balcomgbe YES, please do so. In short you are claiming that in EVERY POST where someone has disagreed with me, meaning ALL posts of this nature. Please quote each and every one of them to substantiate your assertion that I called them angry and accused them of ranting. I look forward to reviewing EVERY post in question that you provide to support your contention. In the meantime, in addition to derailing this thread further why not consider adding your own thoughts about the subject in question other than to continue an ongoing flame war. Remember you are not being pressured to participate in this thread but are doing so because you wish to so, so try to add a positive dimension to this thread rather than fuel it with venom that you are accusing me of doing.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 140 (view)

The bimbo-ization of women and its effects on relationships Posted: 5/12/2009 11:35:18 AM
packagedealX3, it is more interesting that you once again made an assumption that I intentionally attributed the quote to Browneyes, which was an error, and then assume that I "...somehow manage to insert mis-spellings into into the post, hmm". This hyper-vigilance and misperception of my motives is exactly what you did in your previous post as well. Instead of accusing me you could have asked me and I would have readily admitted my mistake and apologized but instead you came to an erroneous conclusion. Is it because you don't like the fact that I broached the issue of bimbos and feel that it resonates something that you are uncomfortable with? . Just a rhetorical question.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 136 (view)

The bimbo-ization of women and its effects on relationships Posted: 5/12/2009 10:10:44 AM
ItsMargo, very relevant points. As an addendum to this list is the strong possiblity that such TV shows and films reflect what is actually occuring in our culture and society at large, thereby reflecting these values as well as inordinate levels of ego-centrism and narcissistic preoccupation that is pervasive. Otherwise these shows would not be achieving the high level of viewer audiences and ratings that they do. BTW, although not mentioned in your post but in another, this bimbo-ization process is not solely focused on women but includes men as well.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 133 (view)

The bimbo-ization of women and its effects on relationships Posted: 5/12/2009 9:43:38 AM
wild heart, yes it is true that this has been going on for years BUT the number of these programs has increased exponentiously on many TV networks,with tens of millions of viewers, a phenomena that did not exist years ago.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 132 (view)

The bimbo-ization of women and its effects on relationships Posted: 5/12/2009 9:40:19 AM
happily ever after, yes it is true that it is a dumbing down of the culture BUT that is one of the hallmarks of a bimbo; dumb and out-of-touch! I also agree that these shows are ludicrous BUT they are obviously watched by tens of millions of people so cannot be summarily be dismissed as not being of any significance or not having any impact, especially on younger audiences, because I believe it either influences or reinforces images that are deemed attractive and the norm in our society potentially resulting in others attempting to emulating these "icons".

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 131 (view)

The bimbo-ization of women and its effects on relationships Posted: 5/12/2009 9:34:15 AM
Browneyes: QUOTE- "Two things have been noted repeatedly on this thread but you are not interested in opinions just promoting your narrow paradigm for social problems that are so vast they are not remotively related to televsicion programming or the characters depicted in fearture films". Comfort: A number of interesting observations have emerged from a review of a number of posts in this thread, but the most glaring is when one makes erroneous assumptions, as you do in your above assertion, without any substantive basis! In fact I am interested in learning what others have to say about this topic because obviously there are myriad other factors that play a role in the issue being discussed and I am receptive to your feedback and thoughts as well as from others. So please, make your points because some are very valid but keep in mind that you are negating your position by prefacing your feedback with your editoralizing about the presumed negative intentions of another poster because it does not strengthen your case and it definitely does not describe my motives!

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 128 (view)

The bimbo-ization of women and its effects on relationships Posted: 5/12/2009 9:00:25 AM
Florence Balcombe, quote:"I am always afraid to make a post for fear of some imbecile with remedial abilities, yelling loudly, and accomplishing nothing, which is what this comfort person has done". Comfort: I hate to disturb you during your angry rant but for someone who assumes to have such incredible amounts of insight and perspicacity into my alleged nefarious motives for initiating this thread, without even once inquiring as to its basis, the fact that you are engaging in hostile and hominem attacks against that person does not exactly speak well of you either! No one pressured you to participate in this thread, you did so on your own volition and you obviously could have ignored it but instead you chose to vent. In addition there are other posters who have provided some very significant points, thoughts and insights regarding the topic of this thread that although may not meet your opinionated standards and expectations perhaps met theirs. So if you don't like what you read does not imply that this thread should be closed because of your ego-centric demands that dictates that you know best. Sorry, it does not work that way. In fact there are numerous threads on this site that I felt were totally absurd and provocative BUT I did not respond, did not engage in name calling (ie, imbecile, etc) as you did, but merely moved on. It is really as simple and straighforward as that.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 125 (view)

The bimbo-ization of women and its effects on relationships Posted: 5/12/2009 6:55:26 AM
FUN IN THE SUN: "LOL, you say you don't want to be repetitive and you use the word obsessive in an absurdedly redundant mannner. Just because you use the same word 3 times in one sentence doesn't make it so, it just makes you appear to be ranting" COMFORT: You are being defensive and manipulative in an attempt to extricate yourself from my feedback. The above statement clearly demonstrates and reinforces my points. FUN IN THE SUN: "I'm not insisting anything". Blah, blah, blah, blah.... COMFORT: You are engaging in denial and rationalizations. OF COURSE you are not "insisting anything" after pressing this issue ad infinitum! Just a little hypocrisy.rolleyes: FUN IN THE SUN: "Your entire post to me is an attack on me in an attempt to discredit my position. You're also pretty hypocritical since you're doing exactly what you're accusing me of doing." COMFORT: "The entire post"? Another example of hyperbole, projection, more rationalizations and selective abstraction whereby you merely extrapolate what serves to reinforce your distorted position while omitting the very relevant feedback I provided regarding your manipulative and inappropriate insistance on MY use of the "scientific method", while you and every other poster are not held to the same standard. In addition, in spite of your futile attempts to extricate yourself from the situation you created YOU initiated ad hominem and inquisitional style attacks, NOT a dialogue to express your disagreement, so take responsiblity for it. FUN IN THE SUN: As for your pseudo intellectual and the rest of your pedantic ramblings in personal attack mode.............. . When I say you appear to be using this forum as a means to vent thats an opinion. You on the other hand present your opinion as clinical fact. No one here believes I'm the angry one no matter how many times you type it". COMFORT: Another example of ad hominem attacks, projection and ommission of fact of what actually occurred. In your previous posts you did not merely "say you appear to be usng this forum as a means to vent, thats an opinion" BUT made direct "clinical", ad hominem attacks including calling me a Misogynist, angry and bitter with the intent to undermine my position without initially attempting to determine the basis for my initiating this thread. And you call me a hypocrite? BTW, when you assert that "no one here believes that you are the angry one" you obviously conducted a "scientific" survey with participants on this thread because the "burden of proof" is on you to substantiate that assertion. In fact you have no idea that "No one" believes that you are the angry one. No, you are not defensive! FUN IN THE SUN: You've used at least 8 logical fallacies on this thread blah, blah, blah. COMFORT: Speaking about engaging in "pediatric ranting" and sophmoric school yard antics you have committed a number of these fallacies yourself BUT feel entitled and not subjected to the same arrogant standards you set for another poster. What a joke! FUN IN THE SUN: "As for obsessive, you've made probably close to 20 posts on this thread and I have now made three. I wont being making any more because this thread is just about you having a platform to unload your bitter from. perhaps you should look in the mirror when tossing out the word obsessive." COMFORT: I realize that you are being hyper-defensive because the shoe fits but in fact I don't have to point out your inordinate level of obsessiveness because your statement above does it for me! BTW, although I realize that you are desperately attempting to wiggle out of a situation YOU created by now claiming that I am obsessive for making 20 posts but my manipulative friend the majority of these posts were in response to other posters comments while yours were ONLY directed to me in an attempt to undermine my position! So the label of obsessiveness sticks and your hyper-defensive ploys to deflect this feedback is not making you look very credible. Oh just as a reminder, you are once again engaging in "clinical" and ad hominem attacks (ie, assuming that I am unloading MY BITTERNESS). However, I do hope that you keep your promise not to post any further because the more you do the more we are able to observe your holding others to your entitled and haughty standards while you relate and say whatever you please. No my friend, this is not the way it goes in the real world where you will act and conduct your self as you please BUT cry wolf when another calls you out regarding your grossly inappropriate BS. Fun int he sun: "YOU'VE MADE ALOT OF PERSONAL ATTACKS HERE BUT TRUTHFULLY YOU SEEM TO BE PROJECTING. LOOK AT THE NATURE OF YOUR ATTACKS...................................................". COMFORT: I thought you said above that you were not planning to post anymore and denied being obsessive and not defensive? RIGHT! Primarily you are engaging in another "clinical" (projection) assessment of me. In addition my poor, poor, poor friend USING BOLD PRINT does not prove your points but is another indication of what appears to be obsessiveness. In fact I was merely giving you a lesson in humility by making these jocular comments, which you misintepreted as attacks, because quite frankly your initial and follow-up post were inordinately on attack mode with the intent to devalue and discredit my position without ever attempting to determine the basis for my initiating this thread. Not a good show my friend. So ladies now this wonderful guy is all yours. You can have FUN in the sun! Any takers?

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

do females that do the break up feel just as terrible as the partner? Posted: 5/11/2009 5:22:20 PM
If the relationship had a compassionate core BUT was insufficient to sustain the relationship then it is possible that the dumper will feel bad regarding hurting their former mate. However if this simpatico for their partner was lacking it is also possible that the dumper will walk away and move on with her/his life with little if any gult or compunction.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 21 (view)

Q&A: When is it OK to be friends with an ex? Posted: 5/11/2009 4:46:41 PM
It is OK IF during the relationship your mate was respectful, compassionate, kind and not abusive. If not, having a happy ending by becoming friends post relationship is not possible because if the foundation of friendship was not present prior to the ending of the relationship, it will not be possible to establish it afterwards.

comfort123

Joined: 3/29/2009

Msg: 118 (view)

The bimbo-ization of women and its effects on relationships Posted: 5/11/2009 3:39:49 PM
Fun in the sun, I can visualize you on a date insisting that the poor woman provide evidence for every statement she makes which is not in accord with your beliefs and placing the "burden of proof" on her to susbstantiate her position. Is this what you mean by fun in the sun, that she will be asked to leave your car on the highway and walk home in the blazing sun when she is unable to use the 'scientific method" to prove her point? (LMAO) In fact you continue to insist that I use the "scientific method" (I am laughing my arse off-you are a pip) to substantiate my opinions and that the "burden of proof" is on me (this guy is a wannabe attorney:roll) as if we are engaging in a argument within the context of a scholarly debate. I have discussed the issue relating to Jim in my previous post and stand by these statements and don't intend to reinforce your obsessive proclivity to engage in a repetitious discussion of this matter! BTW, Of course you are not angry and hostile as you assume and that it is the women in MY family who are being bimbified! FYI, this and your previous post is reeking with hostility and combativeness in spite of your denial as evidenced by your consistent confrontational and inquistional style in lieu of engaging in a discussion regarding an area of disagreement with another poster. As I stated above you have significantly derailed this discussion with your pseudo- "scientific method" and "burden of proof" veneer , which does not apply to you or Jim, while your actual intent is to express your anger towards a poster with whom you diagree! . In addition, speaking about logical fallacies, you then engage in mind reading, a cognitive distortion, whereby instead of requesting clarification to understand my rationale for presenting this topic you ASSUME that you know exactly what I am attempting to demonstrate which misrepresents my position entirely! Just another example of how you relate to others by drawing premature and erroneous conclusions to undermine their position. Poor, poor, lady who is unfortunate to cross swords with you! Unfortunately (for you) you don't stop but continue to reveal your limitations when you state that I am slipping into the realm of logical fallacy because I mentioned that you were angry and defensive! It is not a logical fallacy my defensive psuedo-scholarly friend who is attempting to project a image of pseudo-objectivity, but an observation! In fact your defense that you don't know me so why would you be angry is pure poppycock. You are clearly angry and combative. Who else would spend such an inordinate amount of their time and energy scrutinizing previous posts in order to attack another poster? An understanding, compassionate and compromising individual rolleyes: ? What is truly evident from your confrontational and obsessive attempt to negate my thread is the impact I had on you as "scientifically evidenced" by your obsessive review of a number of my posts and your obsessive need to prove that you are correct. In fact IMHO the only issue that you have proved in your obsessive ranting is that the ladies would be wise to exercise caution in dating you because all hell will break out if they dare say anything which you perceive as being antithetical to your beliefs or opinions. :

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