Speaking of which, I swear my neighbour who lives behind me has just adopted a duck, a puppy & an orca 'cause I've been hearing quacking, a puppy yapping & a whale moaning for the last couple of days.

Are there any 'truths' that all humankind agrees on?

The Spam/Scam Filters are being updated on a continuous Basis.

New Spam/Scam = New Filter, no different than updating your A/V or Spyware Programs.

Possibly another Filter that catches Intellectual Property/Copyright/Trademark related Data Entries, often the sought after Preferences of Trolls and Fake Profiles.

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts7554529.aspx#much

Some weird incidents for sure in the op's opening post.....

The Happy Hooker iconic?.......nah, just another that sold her body for money. I wouldn't think anyone with her history would be much of a role model.

More important he keeps on telling me that he has told me and even though I take careful notes he never tells me anything. or he makes up lies on what the feedback is from other co-workers . Constantly assigns me projects that are destined to make me fail. For example i struggled with a design that i was told was never in exitence , when i got it working was told oh by the way we have it in production for 2 years.

and RWW, it was my impression that Walts was saying many women are chained and gated! Interesting :)

Why is it so hard to talk about Race?

Most real problems do not break down cleanly along racial lines. So why try to lump people together in races? It's wrong-headed from the start.

Most every person uses labels in some form and way to simplify and categorize multiples. This is usually done in accordance to the person’s perception, experiences and preference.

Using such label in a general context conversation is merely communicating a specific category of things or people as they are understood and liked or disliked. The feeble mind of inferiority complex lade political correctness watchdogs or those who have little else to say distort by assumption (which is a label as well) that there is a negative connotation attached or intended.
This is what has made communicating matters related to race particularly difficult and even unpleasant, hence we all are somewhat apprehensive using such terminology.

Simple example:
I don't like seafood, but I love smoked fish. No one will take offense to that label
Make the same statement replacing seafood with a race and smoked fish with a specific group and you are labeled also as racist, ignorant, insensitive, resentful....

Rebate my hook:
I believe we in a majority could care less your race, I don't. But i do find it interesting that if a minority race ridicules or puts down caucasians, it's not considered racism.
Whiskey Woman:
Chris Rock calling whites "cracker ass crackers" is ok but Don Imus calling a women's basketball team "nappy headed hoes" is grounds for dismissal.
Double standards and stereotypes are both bad and have no place in our society
Yamaha Warrior:
but a kid picks that up and it becomes racist easily and all they are doing is copying what they see and hear. ….….
there are many racist things for all society but with out the proper cultural studies, and with conflicting influential music and tv how is a kid or person suppose to know when they are raciest or how to talk about races properly.

Children should be forced to travel. Period. They chould have to experience other cultures and customs. Opening their minds to the differences but moreso the similarities we all share as humans...PLUS, the travelling experience seems to open us up just that little bit more....

Intimacy = the moment we are able to open the doors to each other's soul and mind. I'm finding a lot of locked and chained up doors. Just my experince thou

However, I have no problem with forcing people to give a definitive Yes or No answer to the question as part of the driver licensing routine.

I decided to share about organ transplants. … Because … Have you watched you tube video about “transplanting memories”?? It is worth watching and considering memory transplants from the donors. It covers heart transplants only and how the recipient gets strong urges to be like the donor. I wonder if the same type of memory transfer occurs with other organs?

Since the nothing at stake seems to puzzle you,; do tell what is at stake for you at these forums where we don’t even know if the picture that is shown is the real person or not, never mind 20 years old….?
Is earning your physical well being, lively hood in jeopardy, are your professional or social status or is it some mysterious and elusive forum poster fishy you wish to impress into your web???

People have the right to express their opinion, but opinions are not facts. Facts can be backed up with references.

These women are obviously biased by their experience. Are they critical thinkers?

Even if stats "proved" that the majority of people on the streets and selling their bodies were First Nations, would that make the statement any less offensive and hurtful?

Wouldn't First Nations people point out that "potential" while true in the abstract, isn't true for individuals? And anyway there are plenty of Caucasions out there on the street - so why are First Nations singled out as the ones having "potential"?

The fear is crippling. Rape is real.
Violent Rape is scary, VERY VERY SCARY!
Trust is what keeps us carrying on day by day.

I strongly disagree with her claim. Sheesh, talk about painting all men with the same brush. I am more inclined to agree with journalist Ethan Baron: …..How do you feel about Flynn's claim?

"potential" as ....existing in possibility : capable of development into actuality.
Agree: all men are potential rapists If the topic was entitled: are all PEOPLE potential rapists, I would still agree. Thankfully, there are those that never have the specific trigger(s) pulled that would lead to the enactment of rape.

"All men are potential rapists" makes a certain paranoiac sense as a practical tip ... but ... I have the lurking feeling that it's more an angry philosophy than a practical tip, and this isn't the first time I've heard similar stuff from her group. Unfortunately, there are some people out there (both female and male) who just want to win the battle of the sexes at any cost.

Really don't like this thread its one sided topic when it comes to rapists. You might want to look on Wikipedia and search Rape by gender..

and I think it is a fair guess that she's bashing men in general. It's also certainly not true that all rape counsellors or victims blame men in general. The editorial BE cited quotes another equally prominent rape shelter spokeswoman who has quite a different view of life.

I believe that woman only space is necessary for women to seek peer help and gain strength to enable them to resist sexist oppression, in an otherwise male dominated world. In a world where women only spaces are harder and harder to find, I am gladdened to hear about the new Women only Pharmacy in Vancouver, and thank the Vancouver Women’s Health collective for the good work they do

Rape Relief's approach is integrated and blended with its political belief that women suffer oppression from birth and should resist male violence by working together with others who are peers in their experience of that oppression. This approach is apparent in Rape Relief's approach to its work and the consistency between the way it works and its political beliefs, such as its offering of "Support, Education and Action" groups.

Anyway, that sort of thing is what I meant when I said some people just want to win the battle of the sexes at all costs. I don't think they're really interested in educating anyone or settling anything, just fighting. Are you in that category? If so, please just let me know now so I can stop wasting time trying to reason with you.

Wandering onto other asides from the more rewarding bits of this thread:
Yes, there are woman rapists. They are much less common but far from unknown. I named one famous example already - Karla Homolka. Although inconvenient to those who want to believe rape is normal sexual behaviour for men, I trust that datum will be appreciated by those interested in truth.

On June 29, 1991, Homolka and Bernardo sipped champagne from crystal glasses as they were driven through the historic streets of Niagara-on-the-Lake in a horse-drawn carriage. Their wedding guests later dined on pheasant. And then the couple jetted off on a Hawaiian honeymoon.
As we know now, however, the bride and groom's secrets were a lot darker than what happened in bed on their wedding night.
A year and a half before the wedding, Homolka's youngest sister, Tammy, 15, died in her parents' home when she choked on her own vomit as Bernardo and Homolka drugged her unconscious and jointly raped her.
On the day the pair were married, concrete blocks which contained the dismembered body parts of missing 14-year-old Burlington schoolgirl Leslie Mahaffy, were pulled out of Gibson Lake, near St. Catharines.
Leslie, it would later turn out, was the sick couple's second victim.
Homolka would later reveal that it was on their wedding night that Bernardo confessed he was the infamous Scarborough Rapist, a sexual predator who terrorized Toronto's east end in the 1980s and boasted up to 40 victims…..

I know nothing about Aura Flynn, but I feel sorry for her because she lives her life with such a jaundiced view of half of humanity.

Why do you think a large amount of creationists believe that to accept science and reasoning as the truth is to be something also considered based on "faith"?

Thread: "It takes faith to believe in science" - I'd say no.

and because of that I have had to suffer tremendous losses of my own,

Gosh I dont mean to sound egotistical, I am not-…..but with the same breath, am afraid I would rather be alone then not to be challenged and anticipate growth in a relationship. No one wants to remain static.

I think it's a marketing device, trying to "sell" their abilities/prowess as if they were doing an infomercial. I wonder how many of their former partners would claim it to be false advertising or that the engine functions well but the steering and linkage are faulty? Personally, that kind of focus from the jumpstart I find tacky. The brain is our largest and most important sex organ. I want to know what inventory is available in the heart, mind and soul. That would be a greater indicator of how much a person is willing to give and please. smiles.

To me lovemaking is the ultimate form of communication between partners.

Would I not short change the relationship and sabotage open communication if my only goal was to please my partner?

Love and sex are a two way street ..in or out of bed

To respond with dignity to any of your questions posed has become a futile undertaking of late as you seem to deny others the quality or state of being worthy, honored, or esteemed simply by undermining such with objections governed by your own version of your view of the world.

By the time most of use reach the magic age of "over 45" we pretty much have our own home and space and way of life. What would make someone of our age group leave our homes and move in with someone else. I personally can't see myself giving up my large home to move into someone elses. I'm curious to why anyone would move out of their place to live with someone else. Ladies? Guys?

Never again will I live with a man in a house he built. It wasn't pleasant making a home, working hard on decorating and improvements, cleaning and caring for home for 22 years, then having to leave it, cuz the law said so. It was just too devastating, even though I was paid for my half of it. I couldn't endure it again. I'll know better next go 'round.

I am really in shock with the answers here....I love being with someone, the soft touches as they go by...going to the grocery store and finding something you know they will love, if one person gets up they just know if the other one wants a drink without having to asking. Having them walk thru the door and it was a line to met them, the kids, the pets and then I would get the biggest kiss...he said no matter what kind of day he had having that many in line to tell him hello when he got home was priceless! The spooning in bed at night, the cuddling on the sofa during a movie, the nonstop foreplay where heated looks turn you on as much as a touch. I guess some of us where meant to share lives and others live alone. Maybe POF need to have this as a category...LTR with separate housing?

Powerful men or women equally may be attracted to the opposite gender with less power or with insecurities and act supporting the other....
I suppose the old fashioned behavior known as dignified behaviour

It's only seedy if that may be Your mind set. It is SEX either way you cut it. T&A, what do ya think it is Sunday service

Back to RunsWithWolves's quote... and getting away from analogies. I think that having false beliefs about ourselves and in particular in relation to our self worth is inevitable. Our parents impose their impressions of us based on their own value systems at a very early age. We learn what it means to be a good girl or a good boy and we measure our goodness and worth instinctively against those adopted standards and even if we intellectually disagree with the standards later on, the habit of using them as measures can be harder to drop.

Most of us are working with a distorted view of self. We believe/fear ourselves to have weaknesses that we may not actually have or that according to our own true set of values are not actually weaknesses. Think of the things you dread yourself being -- weak perhaps -- and you may notice that whilst you have compassion for 'weak' behaviour in others you have no compassion for yourself when you are weak.

I think that this kind of mismatch or inconsistency of judgement is one way to spot imposed rather than intrinsic values. The imposed values imply a fear of being weak, even though we may intellectually recognise that we are not weak. Such vague qualities are particularly problematic because what human does not have moments of strength and also moments of weakness? At some level there is a lack of acceptance of self: but a continuation of holding oneself up to judgement against another's standards.

The mind seeks consistency and fear can keep you from saying "Maybe I am weak sometimes -- does it matter?" if there is a need to see yourself as strong because you have strength bound up with self-worth. It can also keep you from saying "Yes, I am strong, I don't need to worry about that" if there is a fear/belief that you are not strong enough and you do need to worry about it. So you make choices that enable you to sustain the image that fits what you believe yourself to need.

The short version is: we don't choose people who reinforce our actual self but people who we believe will reinforce the self we believe ourselves to be. So one who is afraid of being weak or who needs to see herself as strong may choose strong partners because she believes they will reinforce her own strength: something she believes/fears herself to need.

Heartsekertrue said: And when i inevitably cannot fix it in you...i realize how DIFFERENT you are (from MY own unhealthy self concept) that I reject you...for the very things that maybe caused the initial attraction.Transference/rejection/projection (all different strengths of the drug "denial") are compelling addictions...Boundaries are at the core, no? If i am healthy, I can own ALL of self, even the negative (that religion/parenting/societal mores thwarted/hammered/rejected) and then NOT put on YOU my own baggage/garbage.

Rune’s summary:If she had no compassion for weakness in others, her beliefs might drive her the other way as through dominance she could increase her feelings of strength, but compassion for those who are weaker might seem to her to be something that weakens her so she will try to avoid situations in which she is likely to feel such compassion. Just ideas: if they don't fit, don't worry about it: remember I see no more than fragments and can only guess the rest.

EDIT ^^^^
Redundant, why not answer the question posted instead of questioning the OP?

The sooner we accept and move forward making the best of what we have the more peaceful and satisfied we will be. Just MHO

When i really got into forums on here i was a pleasant childlike naive female.
It wasnt 7 months before i went off my nut posing with azz gun tazer ect. Making fun of the ever rapant sex and violence. Sex...stockings..makeup..implants..wars..fighting
ad nauseum. Yes....its all seedy.
Sex between 2 people should be intimate and private behind closed doors.

We are as old as we are and it ain't getting better, no matter how much Botox, lifts, lays, vegetarian diets, hormone injections......

The sooner we accept and move forward making the best of what we have the more peaceful and satisfies we will be. Just MHO

te]I know many women who are very powerful in the business world....and yes, they do 'Keep' their husbands and the men enjoy the perks. I do think they feel resentful at times, for everyone in the know, knows that they are 'kept' men.

The same women are assertive....at time agressive in the workplace...but none of them that I know are agressive in their relationships, none of them domineering their men in public or in my pressence.If anything they take on a very traditional wifey role at home.
I see many different types of power.... having worked in politics for too many years I have seen women in positions of power....most of them are single. I think they like to walk to their own beat of the drum and men are not able or willing to take a backseat or to share their passion for their jobs. Career = Power....to them... they taste it....and they want more...it is their first love after a while..their priority.... a man would be a poor second or third.

"For insecure men, powerful women are like porcupines in a balloon farm. They pop egos just walking by.

I read somewhere that "common sense" and the ability to rationalize and use proper judgement in situations, is not fully developed in the human brain until a person is at least twenty-five years old.

Oh there's more than this....I just wanted to see what everyone would say.

and I thought the question wasn't about what we think of others or how we perceive their behaviour, tho that may fit into an explanation,
but I really meant : Loyalty and you. in the context of all that loyalty encompasses.

This is not just about loyalty between lovers only, but family, friends, business relations, products, sports, causes, belief….
Do you judge yourself and other’s based on how you feel about loyalty, expect to receive what you give….

The question is very simple. Loyalty and you.

Do you judge yourself and other’s based on how you feel about loyalty, expect to receive what you give….The question is very simple. Loyalty and you.

but I do think that loyalty is a matter of character and personal integrity
I suppose the ability to unconditional love would fall in the same category

The good we see in others....is in truth part of our own "projected" goodness....
and a reflection of the (now qualified) hope for that mutual benevolence. In other words...our attitudes...our beliefs...our value systems....defines our world. That's what we see...because that's what we are...hoping for?

Makes the choosing of a date, a mate....somewhat confounding, no?
And after so choosing; do we realize we chose one just like the way we see ones self?. Is this why, 8 months later, those selfsame endearing qualities that inexorably compelled us to them....indeed now repel us?

...can ANY of us see oneself as we really are?

And when i inevitably cannot fix it in you...i realize how DIFFERENT you are (from MY own unhealthy self concept) that I reject you...for the very things that maybe caused the initial attraction.

Transference/rejection/projection (all different strengths of the drug "denial")
are compelling addictions...
Boundaries are at the core, no? If i am healthy, I can own ALL of self, even the negative (that religion/parenting/societal mores thwarted/hammered/rejected)
and then NOT put on YOU my own baggage/garbage.

I have another question, which I'll hint at, but reserve for later.
It has to do with "polishing too brightly, too often, too loud, those ACCEPTED and GOOD" parts of self...this is a construct, equally, as is the projection of the "BAD".
"Truly" (oops! bad WORD for some) neither is the "true" self.
But either is used as if it were...

older women/men not so...huh sexist...NOT
just a matter of taste

Which way should people be to be good participants in this venue?

One more question: if you have made up your mind, is it better to take some time to create artificial distance (e.g. calling her less, be less talkative and warm, etc.) or go for a shotgun approach ? In the latter case it will come as a shock to her since there are no warning signs; I feel and behave as close to her as ever, if not more.

I feel and behave as close to her as ever, if not more