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 Author Thread: Do women cook anymore??
 raretreasure01
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 504 (view)
 
Do women cook anymore??
Posted: 8/17/2009 9:46:30 AM
Wow! that's impressive PrimWoman, how did you handle the pressure?
 raretreasure01
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 48 (view)
 
The marrying type?
Posted: 8/17/2009 9:43:15 AM
What I do to help me is to work on the qualities that I look for in my partner myself for instance, I would define what does the marrying type mean to me, what qualities do I look for in that other person. Once I have the answers then I would work on having these qualities myself, what that does is make it easier for me to identify them from a future partner . That way, the marrying type for me would be the person that I'm able to find these qualifies that I look for and mastered.
 raretreasure01
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 230 (view)
 
Men with Trust Issues
Posted: 8/16/2009 10:41:52 AM

dardika "When a man has been hurt by a woman he truly loves it defines how he treats women for the rest of his life. My experience for the following thought process comes from having three brothers and watching their best friends as we grew together through out life. The first time they loved, it was 100% but when these women hurt them......

Some men turn to hatred and spill their venom by treating women like shyt.

Some men protect their heart for the rest of their lives and never allow another woman to penetrate them so deeply that they lose themselves in her.

Some men wallow in self pity and look for the same type of woman inviting them again and again into their lives until eventually, they shut down completely.

Some men turn the tables and show love like a woman has never felt before but as soon as she reveals her love, he bails. This is his revenge.

Some men understand that women are human, make mistakes and learn how to treat men. These are the kind of men who are cautious but eventually, after getting to know a woman, he allows himself to trust and love again.

Yes, the same goes for women to a degree but men are different in that they hold that pain longer, put locks on their hearts and are not as quick to move emotionally from one woman to another. If a woman can find the key to a mans heart she can have him forever.....but beware, he is going to be one pissed off MTF if she betrays him."


Well put, my thoughs exactly but just to add one thing, while they put locks on their hearts and are not as quick to move emotionally from one woman to another some of them do move from one woman to the next frequently and that, in their mind, is a way of taking revenge not realizing they are using great energy that could have been used to heal while enjoying a single life as they learn how to trust again. While some do realize it and early, those who don't end up with remorse when they reach old age and finally see what their energy coul have been used for.
 raretreasure01
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Need some advice please (no sarcasm or rude replies please)
Posted: 8/16/2009 9:49:14 AM

Jim978 "You don't say how long it has been since you and your ex split and that will color many of the responses you'll get here.

But perhaps, you just aren't ready to move on and date again. Nothing wrong with that as long as you realize it and aren't leading guys on. We all "get over it" at our own speed. Pushing it doesn't help. Just relax, be yourself and do a little self-reflection. When you are ready, you'll know. it. "


It is as if I wrote these words myself Jim, very good advice. Sweet, you may want to take some time to enjoy being single while you figure out some things for yourself and then as, stated above, when you are ready, you'll know.
 raretreasure01
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 32 (view)
 
I am OK with not hearing I love you
Posted: 8/15/2009 7:31:43 PM

"actions do speak louder than words....but words are also just as powerful....I think that everyone would like to hear it once in a while....as long as it is not misused..........."


That's exactly my opinion, actions are great but if you're looking for love you have to know if love is there and not settle for less but if you're ok like this then that's your decision it's all base on what you really want.

Since his doing but his just short on words may be that's how he was raised, if you feel like you wouldn't mind hearing it at some point in the relationship address that with him in a nice way because let me tell you, my father loves me more than anything in this world but I cannot remember the last time he told me but his actions say it so loud that I can hear it however his my father, I have no doubt in mind that he has my best interest at heart but if I were to be with a man, I would want to "hear it" backing up the actions once in a while.
 raretreasure01
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 271 (view)
 
Would you open you marriage to save it?
Posted: 8/15/2009 7:09:09 PM
A marriage is a union between two people, for me the union have to be mental and physical for it to be complete. Mental meaning that we learn to think together about issues that affect the both of us and thus come to mutual agreements on how to go about them, physical meaning that we physically become attach to each other and expressing that through intimacy; inviting a third party breaks the union therefore I would never agree to that.

However, while you can offer your advise to friends you cannot control what they do therefore I don't think I'd loose friends over an issue like this.
 raretreasure01
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 866 (view)
 
Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 8/15/2009 6:46:47 PM

"It has been done to death.....everything from who pays for the babysitter to a particularly lengthy and contentious one about who pays for the coffee. Happy reading! "


Really, I didn't know but it's also at the begining of this post too.
 raretreasure01
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 864 (view)
 
Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 8/15/2009 6:14:57 PM
Lol,

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
 raretreasure01
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 449 (view)
 
Do women cook anymore??
Posted: 8/15/2009 5:17:42 PM

these days women need direction to boil water. Then half the time burn it.


That is so funny lol, you should be a comedian. I think both sex should be able to work the kitchen to a certain capacity, it all boils down to protecting each other while meeting each other half way because if one is not there to cook while being held up at work then the family don't starve or do not have to go through the hassle of ordering out, it's just my opinion. Me particularly, I don't like to cook but I do know how to since in my culture children at a certain age had to learn how to cook. However, although I don't like it I do it because I love the people I do it for, my parents, family members, and sometimes neighbors.

I do understand the point about sharing the chores, maybe some men don't like to cook but if they do the other stuffs around the house while women do the cooking that's fine too. Although haven't experienced leaving with a man from a relationship yet, I just don't like the old idea of the men sitting on the couch with one hand inside his pants and the other one holding a beer while the women slave away.
 raretreasure01
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 861 (view)
 
Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 8/15/2009 4:49:59 PM
I think women don't ask out men because of traditions, and most of these traditions came from men so I don't really thing there's an agument there, since ancient times there've always been rules made by men about how decent women conduct themselves vice versa. As far as women being weak, again that came from men made rules in order to remain in control.
When we talk about weakness there are two ways men put it, physical and mental weakness while I do agree that men and women are different, a lot of the stories about how weak women are, are just used to try to keep control over us and more often than not we fall into the trap. The reality is both men and women have powers that complement each others' let's compare: Men have physical strengh by building muscles that can help with heavy labor , women have physical strengh to go through 9 months labor to help reproduce more men to contineously perform those labors,

men have mental strengh to make decisions, whether wise or not, and occupy high positions in society but what we often don't realize is, first of all, because men had control for so long limiting the task of women in the past for a period of time, they've had more practice exercising they're mind in positions where others take notice but don't forget, just because women weren't seen in the process of making these decisions doesn't mean that they haven't had a great impact on the men who did therefore even before we had the priviledge to hold positions in society where we can directly make mindful contributions we still had played a significant role on significant decisions that have been made by great men in our society, and to prove it, when we had the chance to come forward beind the curtain we did do some great things.

Besides, I wonder how it would be if men didn't take control because even for physical strengh, how many women in the past and still now are single mothers raising a family with great odds against them while working several jobs, but turn out to do a good job and these men turn out to be leaders of the future for which I'm going to take our recent example, president Obama raised by his single mother and grand mother.

When you talk about power of the sexes I don't think there should be a competition between them, I think both sexes complement each other but because of the overuse of power by men which forced a revolt by women which was also taken to the extreme by some, you have a unbalance condition which can be solved if both sexes are willing to admit their mistakes and look for a common ground.

I wanted to also comment about a subject that came up about who has to pay for dinner. When a man approaches a women and she agrees to a date, first, women do extras stuff that men don't have to go through for the most part, so before the date, most women want that night or day to be special so they go out and buy a new dress, new shoes to go with the dress, new accessories etc... that's expenditure there
second, she gets her hair and, her nails done that's more expenses, and then when we get to the date, let's say the men spends a $100.00. we still spent more to get ready for the date.

Now let me get this straight guys, are all of you complaining or is just a hand full who are cheap, the worst part is when some of you expect to get what is refered to now as "somehing" for your money not only is that demeaning, because it is as if you go to the meat market and pay to get a piece of meat, but we still put more into the night in most cases than you. So men up because women who understand their value will not fall for that.
 raretreasure01
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 59 (view)
 
what can i do to become more attractive
Posted: 8/15/2009 7:21:22 AM
Hi,

First let me command you for having the guts to ask complete strangers for help, but when it comes to looks I think that you have to decide what makes you confortable because people define beauty in different ways for instance some people consider inner and outer beauty when they look at a person but some just go for the physical beauty.

That's why you may have a man who's outwardly cute but because of information related to his personality, certain types of women stay away from him. At the same time, he will find some women accept him therefore, eventhough it's good to find out what others think of you so you can compare that to what you think of yourself, the true reasons to make changes should be those you realize will make you more confortable with yourself because no one will leave longer with "you" than "you", friends will come and go and so are girlfriends, unless you settle (even then) therefore choose wisely.

Also, I think this is a subject worth addressing with people you're very close to not because it's not a good thing to at least find out what others think of you but because on a dating site like this, other man can use that to take the focuss off of them by being inconsiderate.

Good luck,



So the bottom line is it's best to find out what makes you, you and base on what you value, should you make some changes because whatever changes you make just because of someone else will be temporary but if you realize that's the change you need to make you confortable while
 raretreasure01
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Break up for your kid's sake?
Posted: 4/17/2009 8:07:33 PM
Hi,

I think it's very important to evaluate your relationship with your partner first to make sure that you really want to be with this man, to do that it will be nice to not get the kids involve for now. Once you've establish that this is what you want then it will make things easier to be creative and get the children of both parties to get along.
A good way to start is by listening to the children, ask them how they feel then let them know that you're not here to make their lives miserable nor are you here to replace the other parent and let them know how you feel about their father or mother.

My mother is alive but I have a step mother, she's very loving and caring and treats me like a daughter but that didn't happen over night. She grew to love me mainly because my father would not accept it otherwise, she witnessed how my dad loved me and my brother and how he would resent any body who pretends to be nice to us and then mistreat us when he's not around so she grew to truly love us through my father's eyes. I know how it can be, it's not an easy process but with communication and understanding it can become a beautiful experience.

Good luck,
 raretreasure01
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 36 (view)
 
How can I tell If he Really IS That into me?
Posted: 4/4/2009 8:54:57 AM
Thanks parlabrea, but that wasn't my intent. I just thought that some of you may like poetry, since I'm new on this site I didn't yet know where to post it that's why I put the info. in case you guys wouldn't mind checking it out.

Thanks anyway. If I ever need my profile to be reviewed I'll go there.
 raretreasure01
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 2568 (view)
 
A World with You
Posted: 4/3/2009 5:31:08 PM
Hi,

I'm a new member. I love writing, sometimes I'm inspired in the middle of the night or early in the morning, but I never keep what I write. Anyway, this is something I wrote at mid-night, Let me know what you think.

Title: A World with You

I want to create a new world with you , a world that we can call ours
In our world, you're my king and I'm your queen
so we make our own rules, rules that will protect our love for ever
in our world, friends will not be able to break us apart because what brought us together is stronger.
In our world, you're my equal as I am your's so we can see our future in each other's eyes
In our world, we plan everything together ahead of time from finances to having extentions of our love manifested around the house
In our world, we communicate things before we take action no matter how awkward the subject, as a way to leave up to our promess for mutual respect
In our world, love transcends everything from polical views to the colors of the rain-bow and in-laws leaving in the house Lol
In our world, we are one in mind, body, and soul
 raretreasure01
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 34 (view)
 
How can I tell If he Really IS That into me?
Posted: 4/3/2009 4:51:18 PM
Hi,

How are you?

I'm new to this site only 3 days so far. I'll see how it goes. I notice that there are a lot of wonderful caring people on this site, it's good to know that still exist.

Regarding your situation, although you already have some very nice advice there, to complement all or most of them I'd like to share my opinion with you.

First of all, it seems to me that you're not quite sure if the so call "booty call " what "you" want therefore, in order for you to find the best approach with him it's important to ask yourself this question - at this point in my life, what do I need?- and be honest with yourself.
then ask yourself -what do I want?-
If what you want is different than what you need ask yourself -which one is more important to you to fulfill?- and to better answer that question you may want to consider the consequences of going with your need or your want.
----Consider things like time, dream, goals, and your image of yourself----- that should help you with your answers.

Now, once you've done that, you're now really to face him. When you face him keep in mind that you don't already know the answer because he's been burn before maybe he's now afraid of rejection or he could very well have been lying to get to the booty call stage with you, but you simply don't know.

So set up the mood for the conversation. The following is a mood idea:
Since you only see him on the weekend, choose a day on the weekend, tell him not to eat before he comes over
Prepare a nice warm dinner, set the candles and weare your hair, make -up and dress the best way you know how. Smell is very important-warning do not over do it because you want him to be able to listen to you and for him to be able to give honest answers so being half-naked will not help lol.

Do not start the conversation right away, when he gets to the door run to meet him, show him that you're happy to see him -if his behavior is cause by a lack of confidence that will restore his confidence in you-
Then hold his hand, ask about his week ..., when you get him to a confortable mood after dinner tell him how much you miss him and that you'd like it if you guys talk for a few minutes before we continue the evening. Then start talking............. tell him exactly how you feel towards him -don't tell him you're ok with a booty call even if you were, yet----- for the sake of not hurting him in case he had a lack of confindence because of the past .
But if you do need something better you can go ahead and talk first.
Tell him exactly what you told us, that you're excited about him and that you want to hear from him and that you'd love for things to go back the way the were before because you still feel the same way.
Now, you have to ask him if he feels the same way about you. If he says -yes -then things are nice again, but don't just leave it at that,
ask him how his schedule is and plan with him on the days that he can either use a few minutes to call you or stop by just to say hi,
Now, on the days that he can't, suprise him. That'll show him how serious you are.

Now, if the answer is that - he's not excited about you, he just want the booty call- if you'want that and you're ok with the consequences then the answer her e is totally up to you, but I will say this; if this is not what you want or need because you won't be able to leave with the consequenses then "DO NOT settle for less"

Good luck trying to read this LOL. I wish you the best. Rember this is just an advice, at the end of the day only "you" decides what to do.

P.S. I like to write but I never keep what I write anyway, mid-night last night I woke feeling inspired to write something and I post it on my profile. I figured I will give it a last touch but I'd appreciate it if you guys and ladies can read it and tell me what you think.
Thanks in advance,
later,
 
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