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Thread: Can two people who are total opposites make a relationship work .

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 27 (view)

Can two people who are total opposites make a relationship work . Posted: 10/13/2009 3:41:25 PM
difference in interest is great, but difference in values (moral values) is a no no.

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

date a girl who got out of a serious relationship? Posted: 10/13/2009 3:37:52 PM
my bf dated me after 3 months of breaking up with his most serious relationship. before that, it was also him who did the dumping. we dated off as a joke (met him online). well, i wasn't taking him seriously, and he admitted he wasn't taking it that seriously as well. we've had had our break-ups and make-ups, and now, we're doing wayyy better than before. i think such habits of walking away will come up later on, but it'll then be up to her if you're worth keeping.

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

Full Disclosure... Posted: 10/13/2009 3:31:34 PM
well, did you expect a "full disclosure" on the phone? i don't think its possible to know everything about a person anyways. randomness always pop-up, you're actually lucky this money grabbing attitude popped-up on the 2nd date....lol.

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

What's the best time to ask the Big Questions? Posted: 9/17/2009 3:10:38 PM
personally, the only thing that throws me off when i was dating was when they bring up the sex talk on the first meet....as in....ask for details. 1...who asks those questions? 2...now??? anywho, i'd rather have deeper conversations right off the bat.....just for kicks. it's better to me cuz i find out faster if they have substance....hahahahaha. as for my reply though, i tend to reply "nicer" during the first couple of dates.

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 18 (view)

would you test a guy by offering a 3way Posted: 9/17/2009 3:05:45 PM
what do you mean 3 way....with another guy, or girl? anywho, i ask my bf that all the time....just for kicks. we'd talk about having 3 ways with some random hot girls passing by, or celebs. sex is sex to guys, isn't it? no biggie. as long as there's no cheating IN the relationship, rules were set, then you're good to go! for the most part, i think guys will just automatically "fail" these tests...lol! it's just a matter of them actually doing it.

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

I am driving myself to madness over one woman... Posted: 9/15/2009 6:22:10 PM
i think post break-up is like quitting smoke. you can only really go through it successfully if you decide for yourself that it's time to move on. you can take nicotine, be hypnotized. you can always chew on gum, but nothing beats telling your self you are done with it! mind you, i've never lit up a single cig, so i wouldn't know...lol! but, i've been broken hearted....my "first love"....lol! so emo. anyways, i was soooooooo miserable that i lost 10 lbs, and drop 5 pants sizes in a month. i kept working out to pre-occupy my mind, and i had no appetite to really eat. i would sleep early cuz i didn't want to think about him, and i tried not to do anything that we used to do...like eat chocolates, cuz he always gave me some...hahahahha. i was making myself "better", because it was out of bitterness. i felt like if i made myself better, then he'll look at me again with pure regret, that he missed out on me. despite all that, i still felt empty. i still missed him. nothing hits home until a girl from my church told me i look sad. that was the first time anyone has ever told me that. i'm the type who never shows my emotion. gosh, even my room mate of 2 yrs in college never knew i went through a depression. but the point is, after hearing that, i realized, i AM a wreck. despite everything i've done, i'm still miserable. why? after that, i snapped out of it. why think of someone who doesn't think of you? that's when i can say i genuinely happy again. i end with, "it's all mind over matter."

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

Is it common for best friends to fall in love over time? Posted: 9/13/2009 7:41:48 PM
in my world......never gonna happen.

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 35 (view)

gonna break up with my gf Posted: 9/10/2009 3:54:58 PM
i know a guy who didn't want to be with the girl anymore. she's not exactly suicidal, but she's on a very fragile state. she has a condition that if she gets too sad/mad, she'll be hospitalized. it's a serious condition in which a nerve in her brain pops. last time she was hospitalized, was because the guy and her had a fight, and her brain was bleeding afterwards. he simply didn't love her anymore, but didn't know how to break-up with her. eventually, he caused her more pain in a sense that he stopped caring, and started avoiding her. you can tell when a person don't love you anymore, and that broke her heart even more than anything. in the end, he just ended up cheating on her. this didn't hospitalized her. for some reason, she just became stronger. she haven't been hospitalized for stress again. she cried a lot though, but it's better to get it done and over with now...than wait on her to feel better.....be there for her, only to know find out later on that it was all a lie....that it was only for the sake of pity. well, atleast thats what i got from her.

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

ok... I don't get it... at all... Posted: 9/10/2009 3:48:29 PM
it's ok to feel relieved. that usually means you're now at a healthy state and accepted the reality of things. kudos to you!

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 21 (view)

WHy is it taking so long to get over such a short realtionship? Posted: 9/10/2009 3:47:30 PM
you can't move on cuz you chose not to. we all have a choice. as hard as it gets to forget about someone/or move on...that's your choice that you have to make. it doesn't just happen.

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

After five years how much time will it take? Posted: 9/10/2009 3:46:04 PM
i have a friend....dated a girl for over 6 years. he was going to propose to her this year..but she cheated on him last year. you'd think he'd walk away from her already...but same thing, they still tried to make it work. she continued to lie to him....til a year later...it's finally done deal. she's somewhere in b.c. taking a vacation in life, and he's talking to a bunch of other girls. of course you'll get lonely. of course you'll miss her. but trust me, she'll only continue stepping on you, so instead of reminiscing about her, just think of ways to improve yourself, and find yourself someone who'll treat you rigth.

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Time alone me time Posted: 9/10/2009 1:26:04 PM
if my bf is busy working, school, etc...i wouldnt mind not seeing him for a wk...even 2 wks if anything. if he's just chilling by himself, or out with his friends all the time, and i get him once a wk.....might as well break-up with me.

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

How can i tell if she still loves me? Posted: 9/10/2009 1:24:14 PM
let's simplify things for you. if she really cared, and wanted to be with you....she would be with your right now. if she made up this story about a guy...then maybe she's just using that to get away from you. you can love her all you want, but if she doesnt want you...game over buddy.

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Promises of contact but never happens! Posted: 9/8/2009 7:47:01 PM
hahahahha...guys are better at this game...lol!

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

Creepy or not creepy? Posted: 9/7/2009 8:43:29 PM
i vote on creepy.

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

First Dates -> Cinema Posted: 9/7/2009 9:35:56 AM
my first "date" was desserts, then cinema. it was my 2nd time meeting this guy (from the internet) and we played a game. it was the last show and the game was to see if anyone would kick us out....i said yes, he said no one would. we talked passing time, and i said i don't do "dates", i just hang out. he said if by 3am, no one kicked us out, it will be officially called a date. 4am ..and the cleaner arrived and kicked us out. during those times, we were just talking....and making out...lol! anywho....3 yrs later...i'm still with him.

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

Young and on this site... doomed to failure? Posted: 9/7/2009 9:06:08 AM
my bf's friends use this site as a booty site. they pick up girls from this site, f*ck them, and walk out....lol! use it for what you can i guess. i can't really blame those guys, cuz it takes two to tango.

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

Bieng Ready Posted: 9/7/2009 9:01:46 AM
you'll play hard to get when she comes back? you seriously want her back after that? what makes you think she won't run to that guy after she gets another voicemail....lol! just because you haven't met anyone else, that gives no reason to be someone else's little b1tch, who she can run to whenever she's done with him. have more self-respect than that please.

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Sometimes I don't understand others Posted: 9/7/2009 8:57:53 AM
i know a girl who did that to her ex. they dated for a total of 4 years. she admitted to us that on a 3rd yr, she stopped loving him, hence she would always **** at him infront of us. she would humiliate him and yell at him infront of us. she always talked shit about him, and we even wondered why in the world is she still with him, when all she talked about was the negatives....but we just brushed it off as something of her nature to talk smack. a year later, she eventually left him...AFTER she started hanging around and being close to my guy friend. i think some people just need someone to cling to. they stay because they need someone to be there....with, or without love. it's their dependence. sorry to hear about your situation. you're not alone on this one.

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

Is attraction a choice? Posted: 9/7/2009 8:52:06 AM
you're picky....and at the same time, girls are picky enough not to chose you. bad combo. if pattern continues, you might have to wait like 2 more years here.

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 16 (view)

How can you tell if a woman is serious or playing with you? Posted: 9/7/2009 8:47:41 AM
you said you wanted to jump out of the water from talking to her. that's usually a sign that you don't like her....LOL! with that, does it even matter if she's interested or not?

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

How do you typically deal with Posted: 9/6/2009 8:47:49 PM
i agree with landra2. you guys aren't really serious, so there's no point bringing it all up right away kind of thing. it's not like they're breaking your hear over it.

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

Interpret this scenario Posted: 9/6/2009 8:44:35 PM
hey there chronic dater.... i take it you're starting to like her. if you didn't, then you wouldn't think much of it ^.^* it's casual dating....why would it matter if she's "playing" you? you're dating others as well? get what you can out of it, and that's it. i'm not exactly sure what's the problem here? if you don't want to drive 3 hrs cuz it's too long for you, since she's just some girl you're dating...then don't. if you want to, then go. i personally don't think she's playing mind games with you. i go with, you're starting to like her, so now you're starting to get worried.

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 34 (view)

peeking on dateing sites Posted: 9/4/2009 11:48:16 AM
as you stated, he is talking to the girl that he met before you. if he really wanted her, he'd be with her by now. how is that called cheating? even that in itself, to him its nothin to be brought up, because it's like talking to an old friend. you should address it first and talk about it...that it makes you uncomfortable, before you scare away the best man you'll ever get.

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

I wonder why.... Posted: 9/4/2009 11:34:39 AM
because sometimes, no one really reads it anymore. guys see their picture, and they go for it....so why bother?

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 34 (view)

Christians & online dating? Posted: 8/25/2009 9:31:49 PM
i seriously doubt religious girls would be online. i mean, i consider myself pretty "religious". i'm very active at my church. i don't drink/do drugs...etc. i turn down jobs because i prioritize going to church. i strongly believe in God and that He holds our path in His best interest. all that stuff......but i didn't join pof to pick up guys/or to be picked up to be honest. i'm just here for the forum. at the same time, because i'm religious myself, i tend to be cynical of guys and think that they're just saying that they are, to get my attention. i have a friends who's more "religious" than i am, and she does no searching at all. i guess come to think about it, if you really trust in Him, you'll know that He will just bring her to you, no search needed. i also have a guy friend who prefers religious girls. even he finds this site shady, in terms of having real "religious" sites. so ya, if anything, as the previous poster suggested, just go to christian online dating sites, you'll have more luck there. plus, you all have the same thoughts in your mind about religion to begin with already.

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 48 (view)

Worst way of being cheated on????????????????? Posted: 8/25/2009 9:18:48 PM
is there a "better" way of being cheated on?

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

Is she just right, or am I? Posted: 8/25/2009 9:15:39 PM
1. it's not your fault. if you're not together, you can "break-up" and kiss another girl that very hour, and it wouldn't have mattered....you're not together anymore. 2. you're both stubborn. you keep going in cycles. if you just wanted sex from each other, then just have that. you both can't even be mature enough to set grounds on yourself. 3. why does it even matter who is right or wrong? and you ask the forum for what? so you can get approval from other people that you did the right/wrong thing? you both need psych help.

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

When a breakup equals freedom, joy and hope.... Posted: 8/25/2009 9:08:19 PM
totally agreed. when i broke up with my bf (we got back together), it was like a whole weight has been lifted off. he took me for granted and things were piling up. as much as i loved him, i was hurting too much. when i walked away, i was confused on getting back together with him or not. i want to be with him, yet i hurt at the same time. it didnt seem right. anywho, long story short...we talked about it.........and i told him my concern. after much tears, we decided to give it another try, and so far, it's been waaaaay better. but ya, if it wasn't for that break-up, i would have felt stuck and continued to be miserable. i mean, isn't that what a break-up is? end the bad? i mean, if it was so great and dandy, it wouldn't have happened to begin with right? ^.^*

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

A corrupted mind... Posted: 8/25/2009 9:03:49 PM
remember, you control your mind....not the other way around.....

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

What should i do?!?! Posted: 8/25/2009 9:02:05 PM
dude, you're hot......live life! 2 months barely scratched the surface. maybe you felt such connection because you were left behind during your honeymoon stage. you never had enough time to know her annoying sides and what nots. my bf and i had our first huge fight like 4 months after or something....and before that, my brother was teasing me saying it's not a real relationship til we had a huge-@ss fight! the point is, you only saw the good side, and as someone said, she did you a favour by walking out. the moment you take her back, it shows that you're desperate....cuz she can just pretty much walk all over you now, and you'd still take her back.

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

Piercings Posted: 8/25/2009 8:29:18 PM
if you think you look fine the way you are, and you're only doing it cuz your gf thinks its cute...errrrrrrrrrr....what else would she make you do? oh, and what happens if she walks away from you? would you regret the eyebrow pierce? girls like so many cute things...that shouldn't mean you should do it....lol! i have more respect for my bf cuz even though i think certain thing is cute...and he doesn't, he wouldn't do it. that's just me though...i like my man standing up firm. now...if he got a tattoo (and i don't like guys with tattoo)....we had an agreement that i cut my hair short...forever....since he doesn't like girls with short hair....hahahaha! i'd say it's a good trade-off. i personally don't really care if i have short hair....

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Why do many women still wait for the guy to make the first move? Posted: 8/25/2009 8:24:23 PM
maybe they're just not interested in you at all....so you find it that they don't make the first move.

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

Is size 14 really the average size for a woman in America? Posted: 8/25/2009 8:22:24 PM
i've been told i look "average", but BMI suggest i'm actually borderline obese. i'm size 28, and i'm 5'8...so ya, i'd like to think i look "average"...lol! but ya, when i did my physicals, my doctor talked to me about that as a concern. as for american's being bigger......if i lived in america, for sure i'd be bigger! all there food are soooo much cheaper and much more packed with fatty goodness! supersize alone is almost like a bucket...compared to canada's size. they have such fattening places like ponderosa....oh gosh! i love that place! sooooo much fatty goodness!!! anyways...i heard the ave. size is 10.

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 26 (view)

What do you do in this situation.. Curious what people think Posted: 8/25/2009 8:15:50 PM
my bf is ....no....was reaaaaally bad at this! he was always double-booking. i used to think he just never cared enough, but he actually does it to his best friends too! he wouldnt' pick up the phone so many times, that his friends and family just automatically calls me when they can't get a hold of him...when all along, it's because he's at work. so ya, maybe she's just super forgetful....BUTTTTTT...the difference between that chick and my bf is that when i say, "we have this thing...." like when he remembers he double-booked, he would atleast try to squeeze everyone in. it's still annoying, but it's the thought that despite that, he REALLY still wants to spend time with me (or his friends)....so he finds a way to "balance" it out and see everyone. my bf has been good at that lately though...haven't been double-booking much. anywho, lesson of the day: maybe she's just not that into you :P

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

Aside from confidence and being myself, any tips from you to get the girl I want? Posted: 7/8/2009 7:02:54 AM
i refuse to be a sole money maker. i talk with my bf about this, that if some awesome opportunity came up, and i made sooooo much money that he wouldn't have to work, i would still ask him to take-up a random part time job, just to remind him that money doesnt just "grow on trees". i guess i'm too old fashioned that i'm not used to the guy not making money. with that, no, i will not support you. i'm a photographer, my bf makes enough funds to support me, but i don't ask him.....therefore i expect equal independance from the guy.........but hey, if you can catch a sucker here.....then kudos to you! its definitely worth a try........just in case, right? =p

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 22 (view)

Are some people just not able to have a relationship? Posted: 6/30/2009 12:18:59 AM
so this is gonna sound cliche.....but when you meet the right person, it'll all come to place.

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 123 (view)

Long vs short hair Posted: 6/30/2009 12:13:15 AM
i've always had short hair in h.s., and i was super picky then. since college, i've always had a long hair, and i noticed i'm a bitmore lenient. i think my choices are based on experience though....not the hair. then again, those experiences could be based on guys liking me cuz of the hair...which in itself is a different argument.

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

Can you ladies spot a manipulative man? Posted: 6/13/2009 7:34:19 AM
i have fallen (not too hard) for liars. my older brother was a player so he would tell me his actions...things i should be aware of. i think in general, may it be a guy or a girl....just pay attention to how they act overall, or how they treat other people, then you'll get an idea on who's what.

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

2 questions Posted: 6/12/2009 3:46:15 PM
i'm not very "intelligent" book wise. i'm not even updated much into current events. i like arts, but not the names of the artists and what nots. despite the lack of my book smarts, i find many people dull. every now and then, i like deep, thought provoking conversations, and sometimes, they just can't seem to diffuse my arguments....and ya, it can get frustrating, so i understand what you mean. my bf wants to be a lawyer, and in some ways, he's smarter than me. but when i'm very much passionate about the topic, i school him....by simply using his statements and going from there. sometimes ya, i think like, wow...will anyone reach my "level"? but then, my bf has other lots of wonderful qualities, so i'm satisfied.....=) try not to be so picky with the "smartness"....or simply keep waiting for "the one for you"...

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Genuine doesn't exist? Posted: 6/12/2009 3:39:35 PM
i think anything a guy say is b.s....it's not you, or cuz you're a dj. how do you get passed that? just do your thing, and someone is bound to fall for you, and see that you ARE indeed genuine.

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

Do you think i would be to much work Posted: 6/12/2009 3:35:31 PM
there are basically two reasons why guys haven't dated in your age: - you are the one who isn't ready/you're very picky - the girls are turned off by something you do. if you've been trying to get with someone (not just 2 or 3), and of all those girls, you had no luck...then ya...it's you. maybe you need to work on your social skills, or maybe you put off a very freaky vibe. you're experience has nothing to do with it....its your overall personality.

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

a guy working away from home alot? Posted: 6/9/2009 8:13:01 PM
if i was single, i must really really like you to try it out. to be honest though, it'd be hard to take it seriously.

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

Curiousity killed the cat or chance being labeled a dog Posted: 6/9/2009 7:32:21 PM
message her and ask her about it =) oh, and how do you qualify her as "smart"?

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

Playing hard to get vs not-interested Posted: 6/9/2009 3:44:44 PM
you're profile is pretty! =) anywho, in terms of your question...i have a friend who just broke up with her bf...well, she has moved-on now. she's not exactly looking, but she's not turning down possibility. she met a guy from one of our social gatherings. he is the one who always initiated the chat, text, email, phonecall. she's not exactly the type to pursue a guy, but again, she's not saying no....so i guess ya, she was playing hard to get. they actually went on a date already....but i don't think it went anywhere. i think he stopped contacting her....and again, she's not the type to start things up. for myself, i play hard to get....well, i'm taken now, but before, i wouldn't initiate things. you can tell i'm not interested because i will let you know straight-up.....i'm not interested. i'll usually say i'm not interested in dating right now....so it doesn't sound so harsh on the guy. playing hard to get isn't always about mind games. sometimes, a girl just want to know that you're truly interested in her...how far will you go for her? if you're not going all out to win her heart.....it's not exactly her lost....cuz some one will else is bound to try. there are too many girls out there for you....so you can go for the easy catch.......and same for her. there are too many guys out there....and one of them is bound to try harder =)

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

How can I find someone if I'm chubby? Posted: 6/9/2009 3:39:31 PM
i find it funny how sometimes, those who are very critical about themselves are also critical about others. they are picky with their looks, and in return, they get picky with who they want to be with. just a comment that you can do a self-check on....that might help you find "someone".

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

How do I not slip back? Posted: 6/9/2009 1:19:05 PM
you're doin the right thing with the whole no contact thing. you know what works for you, and stick to it. it's hard, but go for it! you need to completely move on before you can be his friend again. the problem with check ups, and being friends for now is that when you guys communicate, you won't settle things straight. you'll constantly be misled that all this "care" is towards something more, when in fact, it's just a hello for him. you'll start wondering if he wants to be in a relationship with you, only to be brought back down to reality that he doesn't want the relationship. you'll be the one who'll constantly be screwed......but you can't blame him for it, cuz you allowed it to happen. gosh, actually, you sound like someone i know (your situation)...

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 20 (view)

Pathetic age for virgin? Posted: 6/8/2009 11:28:26 AM
there is none. it's a personal decision, so how is a belief "pathetic"? unless they really want to, and have tried, and always fail.....then that's more on the comedic side.

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 18 (view)

You'll make someone happy. Posted: 6/8/2009 11:26:52 AM
maybe they're not physically attracted to you, but they see your attributes. that, or they think you're not interested???

pnayplayr

Joined: 3/31/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

why oh why Posted: 6/8/2009 11:25:30 AM
well, what else are guys good for?

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