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Thread: Did I blow it?

Joined: 4/3/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Did I blow it? Posted: 4/18/2009 5:45:39 PM
You obviously like her and want to continue seeing her... so make a date with her, somewhere where you can have conversation, and tell her that. Also tell her you have no idea where she stands and would love for her to just talk openly with you about what's going on at her end. Make the date over the phone - do the rest in person ;)

Joined: 4/3/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Rules of the Universe Posted: 4/18/2009 9:59:49 AM
LOL! Great post haha cheers

Joined: 4/3/2009

Msg: 199 (view)

Do you feel comfortable dating someone who is seperated Posted: 4/18/2009 9:54:09 AM
No... (forum is telling me that messages this short cannot be posted, but my answer to this question really is that short... )

Joined: 4/3/2009

Msg: 93 (view)

Pet peeve that ruined the outing Posted: 4/18/2009 9:52:29 AM
Pet Peeves are an interesting thing. You feel how you feel, and so does the other person - and you cant rightly change how you feel, or expect to change them simply by expressing how you feel. It boils down to compatibility, and this may very well be a point where you're not compatible. Sure opening a door may be a small thing, but perhaps it's tied into other beliefs or standards or expectations. Dont let people make you feel bad for those by the way - you are how you are and I for one dont think you should ever lower your standards or force yourself to change to "fit" with someone else. That said, if you really like your date and you want to give it a proper chance, you might try a few things before you throw in the towel over a pet peeve or two. Just keep in mind that ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS. If we tell a man what we think or want, it is often perceived as whining or nagging on their end. He may just not have been taught that simple gesture, or be at all aware of what he is (or isnt) doing. So instead of saying, try showing. Look for opportunities to hold the door for someone behind you - other women, children, etc - so that he sees it firsthand. Or go on a group date with other friends so that he sees how other men handle the situation. If none of that ever "sticks" and you still really like him a lot, bring it up in casual conversation sometime. You dont want to be confrontational about it, but just mention that it does bother you. Be sure to mention that he has lots of qualities you really enjoy and that you like spending time with him - and ask him if he'd be willing to open a door just to put it to rest. He'll either be defensive and arrogant, or he'll laugh about it with you and be grateful you pointed it out instead of letting it fester. Ultimately, wouldnt it be nice if we all knew the little things the other person was thinking? On a first date its unnecessary (for ex: if he's rude to the waitstaff, there's no 2nd date and no sense bringing it up) but after several dates and obvious potential... it's worth figuring out a good way to bring it up in my opinion.

Joined: 4/3/2009

Msg: 30 (view)

What are women really looking for? Posted: 4/17/2009 11:14:30 PM
To answer your original question about reasons women dont respond to messages, I often don't respond myself - so I'll share my reasons with you in hopes this sheds some light. #1 reason: I've had a couple of really bad experiences with men getting defensive and downright rude with me over what I intended as a polite response. Something along the lines of "Sorry, but I'm not looking for a long distance relationship" or maybe "Yes, the age difference is an issue for me" or "I dont feel we're a good match" etc. After getting a few bitter/hateful responses to those, I decided that was a waste of my time. We all get to choose how we spend our time here. Some of the real reasons I have not responded to messages include: - I'm talking to someone that has captured my interest, and dont like to split my interests. - The message just seemed weird - Way out of my age range or location - Something on the profile didnt set well with me - I got busy and forgot (lol)

Joined: 4/3/2009

Msg: 118 (view)

Men....what do you think if SHE pays ? Posted: 4/14/2009 6:59:51 AM
On the flip side, if I'm meeting up with a guy friend to "hang out" I offer (upfront) to treat. If we hang out again, he can return the favor. But a guy can bet that if I offer to treat on the first meet, it's because I'm wanting to hang out as friends (only). Doing that takes away the awkward feeling that it's a "date".

Joined: 4/3/2009

Msg: 117 (view)

Men....what do you think if SHE pays ? Posted: 4/14/2009 6:57:56 AM
Wow. I'm glad you started this thread because I was curious how men felt about it - interesting responses here. I have offered to pay in the past for one of two reasons: 1) as a gesture of appreciation, or 2) because I'm annoyed with the guy and want nothing over my head about it. And in both cases I think it was obvious which was which. And if I do pay, I always do it discreetly and with the understanding upfront - so there's no shock or guilt for the guy. I dont even want the kind of guy that would expect it out of me, or that would think I was "a great catch" over it. What I want is a man I can look up to and respect, that enjoys a more traditional role in the relationship. Given that I want that type of relationship, but more often than not earn more money than any man within dating range, I make it a point to ensure money is not an issue - by suggesting dates outside of the restaurant with the big fat tab. I dont think I could eat out that many times anyway (however many times it takes to court someone proper) lol. There are lots of other things you can do together. I once had a guy ask me out, choose the restaurant and order everything on the menu. He was really showing off with this one I tell you - couple of bottles of wine, extra this and that, even dessert. Then turns to me after and says "you're getting this right?". I whipped out my mastercard and took care of it - and considered it the cost of finding out what a pig he was. Its never about money to me - its about mutual respect, and about leading the relationship in the direction you would like for it to go. And for me, that means making sure my man feels like a man - because that's the kind of man I want.

Joined: 4/3/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

What did I do wrong? Posted: 4/11/2009 8:18:14 PM
I imagine you want to attract a woman with strong character, that can "live out loud" right alongside you (and watch Family Guy too) - right? If so, I say keep the pictures and stay patient. No sense trying to be someone you're not on here just to attract ANYone, when what you really want is THE one. I like it! Nice job :)

Joined: 4/3/2009

Msg: 16 (view)

Honest Opinion Needed Posted: 4/11/2009 8:03:29 PM
I cant believe he asked YOU to get the beer. That's just disrespect. Seriously.

Joined: 4/3/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

Honest Opinion Needed Posted: 4/11/2009 7:57:17 PM
I would definitely put this under "Dating Experiences" instead of "Relationship Issues". Just sayin...

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