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Thread: Why are men still single and please be honest

Joined: 7/11/2004

Msg: 521 (view)

Why are men still single and please be honest Posted: 11/17/2008 4:17:12 PM
I can't seem to find the person that clicks and if half the women on here made an effort to respond they probably wouldn't be lonely on Saturday night. Countless heartfelt attempts at making a connection and most don't respond and I am not aiming at women out of my league. Delusional expectations got half the women on here with kids and a divorce and you would think adjusting their decision making would have been something they tried but no. I think any age people are having trouble on here cause some have bad pics and poorly written profiles and some people are holding out for something that won't ever happen.

Joined: 7/11/2004

Msg: 19 (view)

Big Beautiful Girls VS Small Beautiful Girls Posted: 7/5/2007 8:38:42 PM
I took an interpersonal communications class in school and we covered something that I had never really thought about till we covered it. That for most people as they realized who they really were that the image of what they found attractive changed. Over the years what I find cute has changed. Try dealing with the stereotypical request of so many women on these sites that want a guy to be tall when the hell did that dictate a persons worth bah. But as I grow older that image gets shaped by life and that finding a quality person becomes more of an importance cause beauty fades(ugly just gets uglier lol). Most the people on here won't meet the right person cause they aren't willing to give someone a chance. Self image has so much to do with how a person feels inside and how the energy around that person flows or weather you should setup a lightning rod and run. I have seen beautiful woman with extra pounds and I have seen thin woman that grossed me out. People have an ideal in their head and that allone cancels so many possibilities that might have happened. I like all women white, black, latin, chinese you name it tall, short, thin, plump, not really turned on by heavy women the big beautiful thing I know people like to describe themselves like that but I don't think it's a flattering description to say even though it might be true. I know America is becoming a nation of fat people who even thou they are fat want someone way more attractive than they are thanks to tv, magazines, the newspaper. They bombard us with imagery I know thats what I do for a living thats what I am supposed to do. I have to pick which is the most attractive shots every day. What is more pleasing to the eye what is going to represent them in the best light and try to make what I put together pleasing. I would think a good chunk of Californians would be very concerned with appearance. Red Hot Chili Peppers song Californication discribes it. It is the hub of entertainment for the world they decide whose the next sexxy thing or what they think is hot. Ick Paris please go back to jail no more BS coverage of you breaking a nail and daddy had to buy you a jet to make you stop crying. I think we need to think for ourselves and maybe the next time we meet someone that isn't perfect for us but is dam close we need to pursue that instead of betting on gettting something better if we wait. Cause that is what the majority of the people on these sites are doing waiting.

Joined: 7/11/2004

Msg: 1 (view)

Four States meeting. Posted: 5/20/2007 11:06:13 AM
I see lots of events in the large cities but none near here. I thought why not try to get people from the 4 corners of Oklahoma, Kansas, Missouri and Arkansas together. So any interested in trying to do something like this? This would include Joplin, MO to Miami, OK to Pittsburg, Ks to Bella Vista, AR so people wouldn't have to drive to far and maybe do it in Joplin since its kinda central to all those places. I don't have a particular place in mind yet but if I can get enough interest in it I am sure finding a place wouldn't be to hard. Maybe try to do a speed dating thing like Match dot com does. But this wouldn't cost anything just the drinks you buy or food you buy there. If your interested please post so we can get a head count so we might try to find a place to do this at.

Joined: 7/11/2004

Msg: 99 (view)

What were your S.A.T. scores? Posted: 5/16/2007 5:29:21 AM
Orginal post "OK - After reading several forums, I am starting to wonder about a lot the people who post responses on this site." I didn't comment on this, we as a people don't write as much as we used to with, phones, cell phones, voice chat, and abbreviated language in chat. Writing is something people have become crappy at. I know the feeling reading a profile great pic but she writes like Elmer Fudd. People don't proofread regarding responses, profiles or forum posts they should. I don't think that effects how many people respond to their profile, the picture does. Till people make writing a daily thing like it once was, I think we will have to deal with peoples language as much as we might think it makes them look stupid.

Joined: 7/11/2004

Msg: 95 (view)

What were your S.A.T. scores? Posted: 5/15/2007 10:24:06 PM
Many tests that test intelligence don't apply real life and how smart a person can be when faced with problems or how their mind really works or how that person would deal with a situation. It tests how well you studied for their test, bought their test books and how you said OMG my life is going to end if I don't get this amazing score. I graduated high school and I didn't care! I didn't study, I just went and took it and I made a ACT score that allowed me to go to a college. I knew so many pepole that feared and studied forever for these stupid thats right stupid tests. It's a horse race for people who like to hop threw hoops. Standardized testing over it's wide use has destroyed and hurt our nation as much as we wish it helped it. Little Johny tested bad on some BS test lets hold him back. Lets tell him how he isn't as good as the rest. Elitists want to brag but I went to school with a honor student who is now a fry cook so thinking doesn't take a test, it takes thinking and effort! These tests serve to do one thing, make people with big egos bigger and make people who are creative and intelligent to give a finger to the establishment.

Joined: 7/11/2004

Msg: 5 (view)

Please help me out here. Posted: 5/12/2007 8:34:02 AM
I can see wanting to show your tattoos maybe just show them instead of your whole back and drop the picture of you with your shirt off. Replace it with some other full body but clothed shot. So you can show your body but not that you advertising the meat special of the day. You are a pretty well built guy I can understand wanting to show that off but you said you seem to be attracting girls that you don't want. The picture might be that indicator thats what draws them in. Also kill this even if people did glimpse this it might turn off a woman who might actually be good for you. (Let's do it on the first date... "Do you kiss on the first date? 'Cause I do, do you too?, Wanna do it with you" lol "First Date" by Danko Jones everyone... Don't take it seriously. I am NOT looking for intimate encounters, okay? It is just a song, so quit asking to take me up on this.) Rest of your profile seemed fine.

Joined: 7/11/2004

Msg: 19 (view)

why do all guys want cyber sex? Posted: 4/18/2007 7:11:13 PM
Well as a guy I would say there are pretty much 2 kinda guys on these dating services. There are guys looking to meet someone to fall in love with maybe some sex and get married to or date or make friends. Then there are the ones on here that want to get laid via any method they can get, real life, pictures, videos, hidden cameras, web cams, cyber sex in live chat, Instant Messaging, text messaging, email, irc chat, newsgroups, forums. Guys are sick when it comes to how badly we want sex and some dudes just can't handle it. So you get pervs on here. I think someone was nice enough to allow us to use this service that I don't want to abuse that and abuse others, when the only reason I am here is to meet someone. I think that there are also allot of repressed people who like to live out cyber lives where they act and behave like ***holes. So you get those people who think cause your online he doesn't have to be a gentelmen cause none of it's real. I think ther are allot like that on here and the internet in general. I have played allot of everquest and world of warcraft and there are some people that are just plain evil and they get off on it. So use that delete button and keep on truckin!

Joined: 7/11/2004

Msg: 5 (view)

I have feelings for my best friend... Friends or Friends no more? Posted: 4/18/2007 6:21:30 PM
Female friends are nice and I know that caution needs to be placed on whether or not you want to move forward with making a move. I think allot of it depends on all the factors. Kissing and then not trying to deal with that issue was probably the worst thing you could have done. I would rather be alone then lie about how I felt about someone that was available. That might be 33 talking there but there are a shortage of people that are good for you and if you can find one hold on tight. I can also understand loving to being around someone that you bend to there needs and never adress yours. Where is she going for so many years? Would knowing that you liked her would that have changed her decision to go there? I think if you wait to long you could hate yourself for not doing something and if not she will be going away and it wasn't meant to be. If she really is your friend you should try to step back and look at you and her and now and see if they all add up and don't be selfish ask yourself are you the best thing for her and or each other. What can you lose if you swing and miss. Better than wishing you were up there and never trying. Just don't make a fool of yourself , don't shock and amaze with some predictable romantic ploy cause if your rejected, your not out a bunch of cash. If she had been waiting to hear what you have to say it won't matter what she just got she will have got what she wanted. Regret, sucks I have so much of it, just sometimes just really stupid decisions and some were right in between. But if I could find someone that was available, interesting, sexual attractive and was a confirmed good kisser, who if I didn't move on now I may completely miss the boat. I would buy a ticket. We got one life we know about for sure we can't live wondering, it hurts our souls and often times holds us back from growing as people cause we can't just move on and get over a bad decision. Good luck in what you decide.

Joined: 7/11/2004

Msg: 17 (view)

Re: Too many sad stories....let me add one... Posted: 9/11/2004 11:19:58 PM
That sucks you had to lay it down like that Lucky. Life ain't worth living with foot prints on your chest. I think you made a postive step forward. One that makes more sense than wasting effort, words and time on something thats just playing you. We look for someone to walk beside us in life. We have to stop sometimes so the other can catch up. Some times we just need to keep walking cause no matter how hard we wish and want they will never be in step with us. You can't make another person's mind up for them no matter how hard you may believe that they should respond to you. Never worked for me no matter how well I laid down the facts they will believe what they want. Also as a guitar player and former wanna be rocker don't let her be in your band ever. She will only torment you and she will only remind you of what if. Pain makes for good songs use it to make a million give her a sub-note thanking her. Maybe that will make her remember that the red bumpy thing she stepped on was your heart. When we are faced with people who discount us we need not discount ourselves. We should just realize is they are not the one to buy us and keep selling it at the price its worth and thats a mutual balanced love thats not one sided.

Joined: 7/11/2004

Msg: 11 (view)

Re: I have a realllllllllllll problem here Posted: 8/25/2004 3:16:59 PM
I personally have a long line of bullies that shreaded my childhood and myself opinion in the process. Don't believe all those negative thoughts in your head there just that thoughts they only have power if you give them it. It took standing up to my bully to allow me to turn around myself opinion. This guy along with a few of his friends tried to get me to fight him for almost 3 years. He followed me to me work to a friends party and treated me as if I was a hate project that he would work on every once in a while. My senior year I had just about enough I saw him everyday walking back to school and one day mister punk ass was coming back from the vo tech school he mouthed off at me and I beat the hell out of him. He would have been hurt much worse if his idiotic friend wouldn't have pulled me off him. I tore this little tormentor apart and I scuffed his cowboy boots and rumpled his hat lol I loved it. I got TLC(Technical Learn Center) bad kid storage for a week dam it felt good. 3 months later I met a girl who I feel deeply in love with it didn't work out but thats another story. My point was I had the confidence to want to make it happen. Don't go and attack all the people that have crapped on you forgive those people for there ignorance and focus on making the light inside you brighter. You got some demons you need to slay man before you are going to be ready for anyone. You need to feed yourself enough positve to help counter act all the negative you have had in the past. Or at least to where you can be proud of yourself. Karate is not expensive and it can help you feel more powerful and make your body stronger. Find things to make you a better person look at whats broke in your life. Set goals based on what you see and make an effort to fix those things. The needy thing I can understand wanting a clear response from a social situation its not always attainable thats why you said I will talk to you again right. You wanted a clear cut answer some people see that as needy I see it as wanting to know how to procede. Online to real world encounters are not always what we would call confidence builders. People walk in with more expectations some times and thats a formula for hurt. Also you can't push someone in to liking you, if they are really interested they will respond. I hope you find a happier you in the future good luck man.

Joined: 7/11/2004

Msg: 31 (view)

Re: BEING A GIRL Posted: 8/24/2004 11:36:12 PM
Homosexuals,transexuals and many transvestites feel they are women but in male form. Vanity, feminity and male persuaded sexuality are not female only qualities. Believing that they are is kinda stupid. Men who act like they think they are girls do exactly that act like they think they are girls. The size of your flame makes you no more feminine then my male pattern baldness. It is not based off truth but off your wish to be a woman. Real girls have to work be strong be responsible they all can't shake ther ass and have men in ther will. Woman are a few xo's from us they gotta work to be good like everyone else. If you think that you are a girl inside you want to be that way you chose to step outside what is the norm for most men. If you suffer finger pointing laughing and ridicule those are things you earned with accepting wanting breasts and a period. Being a girl is dealing with all the down sides too aint it. Fear of pregnancy and motherhood thats something some bar hopping leather skirt wearing wanna be deals with or you are just play pretending like you are now when you posted this question Tommy. Be nicer it don't matter if your a man or woman nice has no gender.

Joined: 7/11/2004

Msg: 28 (view)

Re: How many is too many Posted: 8/24/2004 10:48:55 PM
How many is too many do you fear your next aids test or your next herpies flair up I think those might be good indicators. I think some people may go thru many sex or relationship partners if they walk in either not knowing, what to expect or knowing that they are using this person for sex. Personally the woman I lost my virginity to spoke of so many sex partners it really caused doubt to if she would ever be content with just me. I think thats one very real worry when a man hears a large number when there partner talks about sex partners. Am I ever going to be enough or will you go else where if you don't get your fill.

Joined: 7/11/2004

Msg: 6 (view)

Re: Need some help with an issue.... Posted: 8/24/2004 10:20:20 PM
Lots of people get swept up in the moment act irrational as if it were required to be really in love. It takes rational thought to make a relationship work and rational thought to get out of a bad one. Looks like you had your sit down talk a bit to late. Its allot easier for people to be assholes when they really know that they're wrong they just to play the role. Seems like you fell in love and you tried to make things work and they didn't live up to your or there parents/there own expectations. Some people are wave riders your the momentum behind the waves, while they swerve and slash the waves while your the one really doing all the work. I think the biggest mistake in love is one person trying to shape it alone. Thats were you end up when that is how it becomes alone. I would chalk it up to bad experience and try to seek out some people you are for sure that care about you. Get the hell out of there asap. Leave her be let her fail on her own she wanted to but you just became an unwilling bystander/victim by trying to save her.

Joined: 7/11/2004

Msg: 5 (view)

Re: Will i Ever Find True Love? Posted: 8/24/2004 9:26:44 PM
I know the feeling of thinking omg can I only fall for women who are crazy. I actually was interested in a girl and within 6 months she carved her arms up and was placed in a psych ward. I didn't put her there she had so much self doubt she was unable to see what I could offer. You do have allot of baggage from your description. Got money get yourself fixed so you don't have any more children with women that should be on medication. That would be a goal if I was you. That is unless you really enjoy paying for child support. Try some kinda marriage counseling if you really did care for this woman you are currently with. Sometimes people don't know how insensitive and stupid they are till they are faced with it. Maybe thru laying out all the things that are going on maybe you can fix whats wrong instead of going online and venting about it. Why are you in a singles site if you are really trying with the woman you are currently with? Maybe thats why the first one walked off? If I knew you were scouting for chicks on a singles site while you bad mouth me while I just feed and took care of your kids. I would be allot more than verbally abusive to you for sure. Man you got 2 reasons to make things work out with this woman your 2 kids with her. When you bring a child into this world you have the responsiblity to not just give them things but to give them a home with out yelling. Don't you owe your children that? So many people are so quick to want to give up and start over why not clean up your own backyard or at least you can say you tried instead of bailing. My uncle said something a few weeks ago the first time your a victim the second time your a participant. Falling in love with the idea of love is one the biggest mistakes people make. They see it in movies and it makes them feel all warm and fuzzy guess what its a movie it was successful that's what it was supposed to do. Love is allot more than just an hour and half of looped happiness. It's pain anger struggle and its making an effort to make things work. Are you?

Joined: 7/11/2004

Msg: 3 (view)

Re: Too many sad stories....let me add one... Posted: 8/24/2004 7:49:24 PM
As determined as you are to make a new life for you. Some people are determined to toy with others. But you never know what it could be. As corny as it sounds Garth Brooks lyrics one of gods greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. If its all you man its not worth being in. It has to be a mutual thing. Some people hold others up to the cookie cutter of what they want and if you don't fit the mold perfect they discard you. When people go from online to real it does not always go well. There is intimacy comfort and freedom in the spoken word it can make midgets giants and fools scholars or at least make it appear that way. Maybe the person she was interested in was another person in real life. I know the blow off of saying I am not ready for anything serious its over used and I think it tacky. Some folks like to side step from stomping on others feelings to. It's easier to say your not ready than you annoy me. I swear I think if more people would give clear signals about what they are feeling there would be allot less people aching inside tonight. Don't stop looking move up and over. You say you never thought you would want to walk down the isle again till her. Be honest with yourself most of all. What did she make you feel and why? What expectations did you have of her and were they realistic? Did you fall in love with a picture and some nice words or her. Also do you want love so bad that the first thing that comes by that looks kinda like it and is missing parts, are you trying to fill them in instead of just seeing that its missing parts. Maybe that is why she said what she said that you were a nice guy but maybe not for her. Don't let it eat you up man keep on truckin. People have big dreams sometimes to often they aren't shared ones thou.

Joined: 7/11/2004

Msg: 2 (view)

Re: Whine Fest 2004! Posted: 8/12/2004 9:15:53 PM
Forgot to add tell us your love horror story never know it might help someone understand there past problems. Tell us your story too.

Joined: 7/11/2004

Msg: 1 (view)

Whine Fest 2004! Posted: 8/12/2004 9:02:48 PM
I have only been a plentyoffish member about a month and half. I thought what can unite people better than super glue or a really big bungy cord and thats a sad story. Most the people round my age and older some younger depending on how things turned out for you have real life love horror stories. Yet even thou you have been burnt you still look here. Baggage in hand and still wanting more. I personally don't meet very many people thru my job. The women I do meet in real life are usually married unfortunately. Heres my horror story I met this beautiful girl named Michelle my senior year. She was about a year and 7 months younger than me. We were in Piano class together second period. She came from a very strict religious up bringing by very unreligious acting people. Who seemed to think that pouring as much religion on themselves would clean way there stains. She moved things slow with us. I held her hand a month before she would kiss me. But I tell you what I never had a better kiss in my life when we finally did. She embodied all in womanhood I respected and wanted. During the realtionship her mother and step father seemed to rejoice in there new found puppet. Pushing to see how much I loved Michelle or as I nicknamed her Moshy. Her mother Susan seemed to like me but at the same time she got off on torturing me clearly using Michelle as leverage to push me around. They seemed to clamp down on her when she was with me. Her mother tried to make me a control reward to manipulate Michelle into being her slave pretty much. I am an agnostic I know ther is someone pulling on the strings up there just don't know who or whose right about how things really are. Her mother enjoyed pushing others around she wasn't happy unless she was messing with somes ones life. The 2 daughters that don't talk to her are a pretty good indicator she really had no clue. How many people you know go to multiple churchs and hold bible studies 2 or 3 times a week. Yet sin openly and make personal exceptions for there own failures while trying to force a fear god attitude on all within kicking distance. It was very hipcritical I thought considering the way they handled the situation between me and her. I found that other than at school to be with her as much as I felt I needed to be. I had to attend church with her. Just to hold her soft hand in mine was enough to keep me going. I have never put as much effort in to loving someone and in to trying to understand why people do what they do than then. I nearly lost my mind trying to figure it out. Well things are moving along good for the most part. Till summer roles around and her mother set a time limit on us. That we would stop seeing each other after the summer. I don't think I could have been more angry and devastated than at that moment that bomb was droped. So the clock starts ticking toward an imaginary boundary which neither me or her wanted. Her mother and step freak both tried to mind control me into becoming a christian. It wasn't your a bad person who mistreats my daughter they decided that I needed to glow with the holy light or I was not good enough for her. Setting a time limit on love and then one on conformity at the same time. I loved her so much but at the same time I didn't want to have someone tell me how I was to believe. We made the most of the summer growing closer month by month. I continued to do whatever her wicked mother told me and her so that we could be together. Well as the days started ticking toward her mothers deadline. We said good bye 4 or 5 times and kept doing it over an over again in an effort that maybe we could sway her mother and step father into letting us be together. Also to lessen the pain of seperation. It didn't work I went into my freshman year of college depressed lonely and sad. Debating her mother and step father on how I was worthy of her was how I left the situation. Trying to understand how someone can say I like you I know you love my daughter but because you won't say your a christian that you can't be with her. I could understand that stance but there are plenty of christians out there that don't have half the morals or respect systems yet I made no prgress with them. 3 months have passed since I had my heart torn clean from my chest with a nice open wound visible to all around me. Well out of the blue I get a call from Michelle her step father left with her mothers newly purchased pick up truck to some where west parts unknown. So she proposed to me a week within to prove that I had found god. Only for love would I let someone push me around like Susan did she abused Michelle and I's love for one another. Well I tried and to be honest the whole thing pissed me off. Prove your worthy its not thru action its thru merely proclaiming which in my opinion is fake and wrong unless you have the action part taken care of. As the days went by in that week I wrote a religious song for her. I attended 2 church services with her during that time. This time Michelle had embraced the idea of my being a christian so much that when I couldn't whip out my Christ in a can and drink it down and prove I had been saved. I didn't pass there test and personally I was offended that someone would use my belief system to try and control me. So its nearing Christmas time and we go to see her sister in a play at church. Think I had come to the conclusion that I wasn't going to be able to prove anything in a weeks time. She seemed kinda smurky and sassy when I spoke to her that evening and like she had passed judgement on me. I left the church to drive home in the pouring miserable rain. Never forget that rain I ended up writing a song about it a few years later. My mom and dad can't seem to understand why I don't like churches or church people much. Lol I had to make myself hate her to help make my wounds heal and I always had her playing in constant loop in my head. Well 3 years pass and Michelle moved out on her own and tried to rekindle what we once had. I was very leary of that and didn't really feel comfortable with who she had became thru the years. It's also a constant source of regret that I didn't try to make it work when we were on a even playing ground just me and her. 2 years pass she starts calling me and we start talking marathon calls like we used to. I had also had time to realize I still missed and loved the memory I once held of her. She decided to move back to San Diego she hated Joplin MO allot and moved out west. We continued to talk on the phone from time to time and she invited me out to stay with her in Cali. I was working in my chosen profession and needed to maintain the job I had so I didn't go. 3 months later shes married to some mexican guy. To be honest I loved her so much I didn't care about me and thats when love becomes not worth it. I still think about the what if but I need to focus on what now. Thats why I am on here. I don't want to be alone in this world. Saw my mom and dad stand strong side by side thru some tough times againist the world. I want to find my friend to stand againist the world with too. Well I hope you enjoyed the whine chateau 1992 a bad a very bad year.

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