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Thread: My Joke Thread.

Joined: 4/7/2009

Msg: 2230 (view)

My Joke Thread. Posted: 8/29/2009 10:55:34 AM
Superbrazen, manliness test...I am still cracking up!! Keep them coming! [no pun intended]

Joined: 4/7/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Texas Has Blondes Too Posted: 8/29/2009 10:27:31 AM
THAT was funny!!!

Joined: 4/7/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

No Road Rage For Me Posted: 8/29/2009 10:24:13 AM
I'm from Texas. You never know who has a gun in the car. I now live in the Detroit area. No flipping anyone off, ever. But your reasoning is scarier! LOL

Joined: 4/7/2009

Msg: 60 (view)

What someone does that really turns you on? Posted: 8/29/2009 9:52:13 AM
You had the range to yourself?!? That is just so fabulous!!! The smell of gunpowder is a turn on. I h ave always said that. Learned how to shoot with an M14. Learned to sight it, take it apart, and put it back together [long story - and, no, I have never been in the military]. Have shot many, many diferent caliber handguns. Wow!! You rock!!!

Joined: 4/7/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

Riu Palace Los Cabos in March Posted: 8/16/2009 6:50:24 PM
How was it? I am headed there this week!

Joined: 4/7/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Coming to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico Posted: 8/16/2009 6:46:45 PM
I sent you an email...will be there in a few days!

Joined: 4/7/2009

Msg: 179 (view)

being gay - genetic or social Posted: 7/4/2009 8:04:49 PM
One of the best known psychiatrist in my area once explained that 60% of gays are genetic and born that way. The other 40% identified with the opposite sex during their first formative years. And, you cannot unwire that afterwards. A dear friend of mine, who is gay, told me "bi" is more about sex. People who are adventurous and willing to go both ways. Some true gays that married will come home eventually. Gay men who marry, will fantasize or fool around. But if they meet Mr. Right, and fall in love, they leave the wife. Gay women marry as well. Most for societal conventions. Both, are the type that get headaches, or complain if the their partner asks for sex frequently. They are just not turned on by the opposite sex. My stance is respect all. And they should have the right to marry.

Joined: 4/7/2009

Msg: 99 (view)

How far would you travel for a love affair? Posted: 7/3/2009 9:41:09 PM
The travel should be seen as an adventure for you. If he/she didn't work out, you still experienced a geat trip. If it turned into something between the two of you, "bonus!" You can't go thinking "I'm out $600 bucks if it doesn't pan out." And, if you can't afford it, be honest. Let him/her come to you. Or, compromise on the cost. If you can't discuss that comfortably, there isn't enough there yet.

Joined: 4/7/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Should I have just kept my mouth shut? Posted: 6/30/2009 8:38:56 PM
No. You were right....Intimacy is 50% of any relationship. You showed patience, and good communication skills. He showed insecurity and immaturity. Let it go. It could be he was not very experienced, or skilled. Or, just not very good. Or selfish. Either way, what spoke volumes is how he reacted to your needs. Sounds like the guy needs a few years to go before he gets it. If he ever does. Move on.

Joined: 4/7/2009

Msg: 54 (view)

Would you stick around? Posted: 5/7/2009 8:27:37 PM
You stated "weeks ago"...what have you done since then...Stew? Worry? And, why? If you feel close enough to be intimate with him, you should feel comfortable enough to ask. The question here is the unknown [my apologies if this was discussed in a previous posting, I only read every third or fourth one]. You stated you saw the site on his drop down menu. Then you mention he is looking for various types of sexual activities. Do you know for certain what he is doing on that site? Or, is that what the site offers, and so you assumed? There are sites I found by accident, looked at them for 10 seconds and exited. If someone just happened to go thru my drop down menu on such a particular day, they could make assumptions about my political affiliations or gossip penchants. The issue at hand is he left you with a degree of doubt of his commitment to you and his integrity. As such, you possibly do not trust him enough to just ask about what you saw on his computer. That in and of itself is larger than what he is doing on his computer.

Joined: 4/7/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Men wanting women only and not other men Posted: 4/22/2009 6:14:57 PM
I respect you for being so honest and open here. I have personally been surprised by first dates from a different internet dating site that seemed soooo gay to me [I no longer am on there]. I wondered why they bothered to be on the site, and why they bothered to ask me out? By "gay" I do not mean my gay radar was on overdrive. I mean, they were overly effeminate. There was a point I wanted to add "no bisexuals please" to my profile...lol.... A gay friend of mine primarily dates married men.Another told me he gets hit on by married men all the time. Particularly after they've had a few drinks. Makes me suspect of men my age who have never been married. Who knows. I just saw a comedian who said all men have some degree of gay in them. When they watch porn, a big part is watching the men in their state if glory...lol.... Love the 12 beers response!

Joined: 4/7/2009

Msg: 845 (view)

Post a JOKE Posted: 4/17/2009 8:19:58 PM
If some of these have already been posted...sorry, thread is too long to read all of it... A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my intelligence come from?' The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.' --------------------------------------------------------- 'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce court Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,' 'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself. --------------------------------------------------------- A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.' 'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.' ----------------------------------- An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.' The old man says without hesitation , 'I now pronounce you man and wife.' ----------------------------------- Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder: 1. The DNA all matches. 2. There are no dental records. ----------------------------------- A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?' The agent replies, 'Just a minute.' 'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up. ----------------------------------- A man is recovering from surgery when the surgical nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling. 'I'm O. K. but I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,' he answered. 'What did he say,' asked the nurse.. 'Oops!' ----------------------------------- While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice. 'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?' 'Better get a bikini,' he replied 'You'd never get it all in one.' He's still in intensive care. And, my favorite is: The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance. The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's there.

Joined: 4/7/2009

Msg: 104 (view)

If You Could Give ONE Piece of Advice to the Opp Sex..... Posted: 4/16/2009 2:14:12 PM
I am surprised no one has mentioned self taken web cam photos as a main profile photo....not flattering

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