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Author
Thread: Are some people just not able to have a relationship?
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
38 (
view
)
Are some people just not able to have a relationship?
Posted:
8/20/2009 3:23:16 PM
I know I can't have one, or really get into them with all that emotion malarky. but I don't mind at all. I'm proud of being that way, and prefer being single a lot more. And nothing dodgy happened in my childhood or whatever. It's just preference. It might or might not be to do with your past, only you know yourself. But just because you don't think you're good at relationships doesn't mean there's something wrong with you or need therapy. Just live life and enjoy it!
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
161 (
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)
...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted:
8/13/2009 3:16:42 PM
I'd find it very easy, though I wouldn't want to be sex partners with the same person for that length of time anyway ( at the very least I need 45 weeks singledom a year) . I still wouldn't have a problem with enjoying the sex and not falling in love. Just isn't going to happen with me, and don't see how you can just fall in love with anyone you sleep with, even after a while.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
82 (
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relationship people/solo people
Posted:
8/11/2009 9:57:14 AM
I'm definitely 100% a solo person. I thrive on alone time and just enjoy being single a hell of a lot more than any sort of relationship with a woman, no matter how short. I don't think I would ever want a LTR to be honest. Don't really see the point, or the need.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
104 (
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When are you most happiest?
Posted:
7/15/2009 1:44:36 PM
When I'm alone in a speed boat jumping the waves of the sea, while occasionally stopping to look back at the coast from afar.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
75 (
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Emotionally Unavailable = Scared
Posted:
7/15/2009 3:42:29 AM
Just because someone doesn't want a LTR doesn't mean it's because they're scared. Some people prefer to be alone(like myself), but some haven't realised it yet, because "society" or the "norm" tells them that looking for a LTR is the way to go.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
99 (
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I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted:
6/30/2009 3:45:34 PM
I absolutely feel that I am so used to being single, yet it doesn't bother me at all because I have preferred it this way for a long time. I would never even think of changing it because too many things would be spoiled if I was in a relationship. I really value my lone time to such a large extent now it would never be possible. But I just wouldn't have it any other way.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
92 (
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Have you gotten to the point where you just don't care?
Posted:
6/24/2009 6:00:57 PM
I don't care, but I never have really. Certainly wouldn't go out my way to find a relationship as I have never felt the need for one. I just live my life as a single person and these types of thoughts don't enter my mind.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
27 (
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Approaching 30 and still single ....
Posted:
6/18/2009 2:48:26 PM
It's cool. Being single is my preferred choice anyway, so I would be more than happy to be single at 50, never mind 30. It's all about what YOU want. Forget about the word "pressure". There isn't any.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
18 (
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Guys, Would You Date a Female Professional Gambler?
Posted:
6/17/2009 10:32:19 AM
I wouldn't have a problem at all, but then I would only ever have a non-serious type relationship with a woman so I guess it would never matter LOL. But I too am a gambling addict, just too rubbish to be called a professional! You shouldn't be worried about telling anyone though, because it's who you are. If they don't like it then that's their problem.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
9 (
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The Allure of Fatherhood
Posted:
6/12/2009 9:12:44 PM
No, I really avoid the idea altogether because I really just don't want them at all and never will LOL.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
13 (
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Relationships a Distraction?
Posted:
6/12/2009 6:32:48 PM
Relationships are a complete distraction from everything I want to do. I just avoid them altogether. The whole point of life is to have fun and spend money on yourself, so absolutely no way would I have a LTR.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
1687 (
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so, why are you still single?
Posted:
6/7/2009 11:59:09 AM
I'm single because I enjoy it a hundred times more than when dating a woman. I've never been in anything serious so I never feel I'm missing out on anything. I don't see what the big deal is at all to be honest. Being single is much more fun, and I love my alone time.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
110 (
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Childless by Choice
Posted:
6/7/2009 8:41:23 AM
I have never wanted any kids, and definitely won't in the future. They are too much hard work and would hinder a lot of my fun times, enjoyment and spending. Cannot be bothered at all LOL.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
101 (
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OFF TOPIC
Posted:
6/7/2009 8:34:14 AM
I would hold off on getting too sirious with him until he moves out on his own. and has been on his own for a while. he might change. but, that change may not be good... he going to have to use to being broke and worring about how to pay the bills... so the quality of the dates will go down..
So in other words he can't win either way haha.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
97 (
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He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted:
6/6/2009 9:45:55 PM
And why is it that ambition has to be so important? I don't have any at all, but people tell me I'm a nice guy and fun to be around. You only get one shot at life, just enjoy it. So many judgmental morons on this board it makes my blood boil!
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
314 (
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Does anyone like being alone better? Can you take or leave having a relationship?
Posted:
6/6/2009 7:02:41 AM
It's to the extent that I can't even relate to a situation where someone says they are feeling lonely, even if it was just for one night. I've never felt the need for a partner at all. I still have my close friends which I would never change, but I definitely prefer being alone to anything else. So much easier!
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
36 (
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He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted:
6/2/2009 4:57:22 PM
OP I consider you a much bigger loser than he is, just for the fact that you even considered him a loser just for still living at home. Judgmental people are possibly my least favourite kind of people that fit in the legal category. I think it is him that should be shot of you personally, but........
I still live at home, and it's great to be reminded by threads like this why it's so much easier to be single than to think about all this relationship crap.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
165 (
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Could you live with clone of yourself?
Posted:
6/1/2009 3:26:42 PM
Well not really because I would get sick of the fact that we would agree on absolutely everything. But at least I would know what to get him for his birthday. Hang on a minute, does that mean he would get me the same thing? hmm, interesting concept. And the games of FIFA on the PS3 would be epic. Actually I'm beginning to come round to the idea now haha.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
163 (
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is it wrong to end relationship over abortion?
Posted:
5/31/2009 5:28:18 PM
She was not wrong for aborting the child.
You were not wrong to leave her as you do not share the same values.
The only people that are wrong are your peers. It's none of their damn business.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
24 (
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Should I feel presssured to change myself?
Posted:
5/30/2009 9:26:50 AM
I would never change anything about myself for anyone, ever. Only make changes if YOU aren't happy with the way you are. I only go out when it's sunny, or a particularly nice day. Otherwise staying at home is fine enough.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
10 (
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with or without.....
Posted:
5/28/2009 4:27:28 PM
Absolutely nothing wrong with it at all. I too much prefer to be alone and single, and at no time in the future I would want any relationship. Never understood this mentality of needing somebody else, and the fact that somebody should be the number 1 person in your life, even more so someone you haven't known as long as your lifelong family and friends. None of it makes sense to me, and I cannot ever imagine NOT having this much space to myself that I have right now, or having to spend so much money on somebody else.
There are more people that prefer to be single these days, so it's not thought of as unusual as it was before.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
1661 (
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so, why are you still single?
Posted:
5/22/2009 9:14:55 AM
I'm single because I enjoy it 1000 times more than even just dating a woman. I enjoy the freedom and space far too much. I've never understood the mentality of "needing a partner" though I've never been in a LTR. Even if I had no friends or family, I'd still prefer my own company.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
827 (
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Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted:
5/20/2009 5:01:01 PM
The answer to the question is:-
Which one came first?
If she'd been with her boyfriend for so many years, and then went out and bought this cat which he happened to be allergic to. I could totally see the argument of passing the ownership on.
But the fact that she'd had this cat for 3 years, and I have no idea how long she's been with her boyfriend (though I get the feeling not too long), then 100% keep the cat. If the boyfriend is allergic, then it's just not meant to be. You don't just give up bonds like that because of someone you've only met recently. If a woman had a fear of goldfish then I'd tell her to get knotted, you know? I like pet relationship much better anyway. They are more interesting.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
256 (
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What age is acceptable for a man to be living with his parents?
Posted:
5/19/2009 2:51:10 PM
Oh, and OP, I can't help but feel that these societal "rules" and orders actually rule your life. Quite pathetic really.
Every single one of your posts, all I see is judge judge, I'm a sheep, judge, I'm better than anybody who doesn't have their own place, judge, judge, sheep, judge. All this judging makes me want to eat a cadbury's fudge right now.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
4 (
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Scared of relationships?
Posted:
5/19/2009 7:53:21 AM
Well my longest ever girlfriend has been three weeks. But in my case I have always preferred being single to any kind of relationship. You're reading into that part far too much. Would you not be more worried if he'd just gotten divorced a couple of months ago after a 10 year marriage or something?
And let's be honest here. If instead you knew that it was his exes that had all broken up with him, in that case would that not bother you just as much?
So, up to this point I thought it was you that was being ridiculous for trying to look for faults in what sounded like a perfectly decent guy. But then... I felt that your very last words in inverted commas spell out the answer as to whether he's the right guy for you or not.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
253 (
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What age is acceptable for a man to be living with his parents?
Posted:
5/19/2009 5:20:43 AM
I'm 30 and yes, I still live at home cause I'm going to school at the moment till I graduate and find myself a better job... And of course, I'm still looking after one of my parents after recoving from an illness, if anyone objects, I will give them a shift kick in the doorway.
Same goes for my guy, if he is still living with his parents. I will not object unless for any specific reasons - one of his parents has illness/old age issues, his going to school or saving up money to get his own place. But he is lazy and not helping out his folks, then shame on him.
Sigh! It was going so well until your very last pathetic sentence. There are people who still live at home, where their parents do not have old age illnesses, they do not go to school and are not saving up for their own place... like me for instance. But you feel the need to explain yourself, and want to kick anyone that objects. And THEN go onto say there has to be a reason why someone else is still living at home like a lot of others on this board is saying. Why not finish it off with the other stupid 'tar everyone with the same brush' cliches like "mommy's basement" and "the next stage to being a man".
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
250 (
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What age is acceptable for a man to be living with his parents?
Posted:
5/18/2009 3:39:36 PM
I couldn't really give a rats ass what anyone thinks is unacceptable regarding people still living at home with parents. It's their lives, and whatever the situation is, who really cares and what business is it of theirs? Like seriously, what does it matter really... in the big scheme of things? Anyone who thinks it matters has some serious mental issues that need dealing with immediately, and this should be regarded as a stigma that should be despised by everyone, including child killers (who are lovely people in comparison).
And to any PC ass clowns who don't recognise a bit of sarcasm, please do not bother replying as I will only rip you to shreds and make you look like an idiot.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
11 (
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loneliness question? Single for too long is not good?
Posted:
5/12/2009 3:57:10 AM
I've never been 'unsingle' for more than 3 weeks, so I haven't really noticed if it's changed me or not. And I'm very happy the way I am, and never get lonely so I have no reason to bother with all that relationship stuff.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
15 (
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Is living with roommates a bad image?
Posted:
5/8/2009 4:26:52 AM
Here's how I see it:-
Living with room mates - is simply wrong, splitting the rent like that. How dare they pay there way.
Living at home with parents(like myself) - means they are a no good p.o.s who should be in the same category as criminals.
Living with kids as a single parent - is a one to avoid with a lot of poeople.
Living alone - means they have creepy interests.
Living with a partner - means a no go area to start with.
I think we should all live on park benches LOL.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
363 (
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Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted:
5/1/2009 5:36:12 PM
Question - Is this an American thing or something? because I live in the UK and most of my mates and myself still live at home in our late 20s/early 30s and pretty much no one cares either way. I just think it's becoming so normal here to live at home til a later age, so the amount of judgmental pricks will be less on the whole. As for whether or not it's a turn off to the opposite sex... I really couldn't care less lol.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
11 (
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Jumping from Relationships Easier Than Being Single -?
Posted:
4/26/2009 6:51:18 AM
Yes, very comfortable AND I just enjoy being single too much, to even want to think about a long term relationship. I've never been to relate to this mindset that some people have, of HAVING to be in a relationship and jump straight in with whoever. They might save themselves a lot of bother if they just make most of these people they meet one night stands, and if they meet someone with whom they really connect well then they might be able to build something bigger after some time of being friends.
But if they enjoy just having relationship after relationship, and break up after break up, well then that's good for them I guess.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
272 (
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Does anyone like being alone better? Can you take or leave having a relationship?
Posted:
4/22/2009 8:07:12 AM
By a lunar mile, I prefer being single. In fact I would never want to be in a relationship. There's too much that I would have to change or give up, and there's no way I'd be willing to do so, for any woman. And I don't feel that I'm particularly missing out on anything anyway. Life is great anyway so there's no reason to HAVE to have somebody living with you. Though I have got plenty of friends that I do stuff with.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
380 (
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Suppose you were stuck single forever...
Posted:
4/20/2009 3:44:48 PM
The thought of being stuck single forever sounds like paradise. I didn't think it would be this easy, but it IS. I don't ever think about life so seriously so I guess I would never know what it feels like to be lonely, or in a long term serious relationship of course. I'm sure some other single men(or women) who are feeling the opposite will not be able to comprehend how I can feel this way, but I can't fathom why anybody would be down about being single. Especially when there are so many much worse things that could happen to somebody.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
238 (
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How does a guy who got used to prostitutes get back to a normal life?
Posted:
4/18/2009 12:54:55 PM
Doing prostitutes isn't wrong at all, nooo way. It's great if you live in an area where there are plenty of fit ones, like where I am in UK. But if most of them are ugly then it should be easier.
But who cares if it's the easy way out, or it means you're not making women attracted to you etc. You just want sex so you're getting it. Same as me. If you want something long term, then it might be better to try meeting a woman in some sort of class so you can talk to them a lot first, rather than be on the same scene or area as you would find prostitutes.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
16 (
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Dance / Weight / Fitness quandry
Posted:
4/17/2009 5:29:57 AM
Good luck in finding someone who wants to "dance all night" and can. Haha and yet the sports obsessed guy the other day got criticism for being too picky.
The people that say "Just date slim girls" are correct. However, I would also make sure that the very first question you ask them is "Do you dance regularly?"
If the answer is anything other than "Oh yes, I absolutely LOVE it!", then don't date them. It'll save you a lot of bother.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
52 (
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The fears of being alone
Posted:
4/16/2009 11:12:30 AM
IMHO, anybody saying that they are "alone but not lonely" is either lying or delusional..or some combination of the two.
Yes, of course. Me and the others who enjoy being alone have decided to come on a MESSAGE BOARD and lie to people halfway across the world from where we are. Do you have any idea how ridiculous that sounds; saying that everybody in the whole world has to have the same mind set? Probably the one that you yourself are thinking now, so you feel that nobody can have any opposite thoughts. I think I know who is delusional here. I know for a fact that I am much much happier as a single person than being with somebody. If I was lying about this, then I'd be the loser in all this, so why would I?
I don't get why so many people here analyze human beings referring to them as animals and how they all have to be the same. Are you people scientists or something? Why does everything have to mean something? Life just IS, you know. If you have money, there's always something to do that's fun; especially in the modern world.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
51 (
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Wanting to date someone younger.. how young is too young?
Posted:
4/16/2009 8:19:02 AM
Age difference isn't a problem at all unless it's illegal. 24 and 18? That's nothing. I'm 28 but just last year I went out with a 19 year old for a couple of weeks. It really doesn't matter unless you want it to. Plus, by that age the girl is old enough to make her own decisions and it shouldn't matter what her parents think about it either. And anyway, I would bet that they would rather she went out with someone older who was a decent guy, than an 18 year old A-hole.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
43 (
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The fears of being alone
Posted:
4/16/2009 7:39:11 AM
For me, being alone is just great. It's good to have friends etc but I like my own space more than anything, and I've never felt lonely once yet. There really is nothing to fear.; it is a state of mind like someone else has said.
Imagine if all you had ever known is that you were the only person on the planet. How could you possibly feel lonely if you've never known anything else? I've always preferred to do stuff on my own so I can't say I feel I'm missing out on relationships. I guess it's different for people who have been in a relationship a long time, or if they haven't had a LTR then it must be the way they have thought from the start or been brought up to think.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
415 (
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted:
4/14/2009 7:17:10 PM
No, I don't see how all that lovey dovey stuff could be connected directly to sex. Sex is a great feeling, a buzz. In fact, I don't think there's a word to describe how good it is. But feeling things emotionally while having sex with someone? I don't see how that is even possible LOL.
And it's also why I think the phrase "friends with benefits" even exists.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
35 (
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What is the basic needs of a human being?
Posted:
4/13/2009 8:36:44 AM
Besides food and water obviously, there is family/friends but I'd say the basic needs for a human(as anindividual) are entertainment and interests. Without those, we'd have nothing to look forward to or things that would define us as individuals. Whether it's playing sports, collecting things, writing, painting, or just watching a certain thing on tv or a genre of movie. Everybody has so many interests, and I'd be amazed if any one combination was exactly the same. Besides looks and personality, it's the one other thing that defines us as a person. And extremely important too.
Being entertained will always be right at the top of important things to me.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
64 (
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Why are you EXCITED about being Single?!?!?!
Posted:
4/12/2009 8:20:44 AM
Is this primarily a dating site? Thought it was just a relationship-based topic site, and a chance to make friends. Well one of the sub topics of relationships is "Benefits of being single", the same way that people will start threads on movie site boards comparing that movie to another one, and saying the other one's better. Big deal!
I think some people take this site too seriously. And to the guy that says these so called "dishonest" single lovers are making things discouraging, is there not a profile filter search where you can find lots of women who have "looking for a relationship" in their profile? On one hand you question why people like me are on this site. But at the same time, what are YOU doing on this thread? This thread was created for people to say if they are excited or not so about being single, with reasons why. People posting these accusations on this thread is a lot more out of place than the actual single lovers.
The people that hate being single need to accept that there are a lot of people these days that either don't mind singledom at all, or like myself, they love it.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
85 (
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How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted:
4/11/2009 4:12:15 PM
I'm single because I love being single. That's it first and foremost. Whether I'd be able to attract women or maintain a relationship is completely irrelevant because I just don't want to do any of that, and never will. Can't be bothered lol. Dating a woman for three weeks was long enough!
.I couldn't possibly choose what my favourite part about it is. Being able to gamble as much as I want haha. Not having to worry about pleasing anyone or changing for anyone. And the one thing I want more than anything else in the world is my own speedboat, so I wouldn't want to spend money on anyone else except for friends and family the odd occasion. Those would be the main reasons anyway.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
76 (
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serial marryers
Posted:
4/11/2009 3:59:01 PM
Well I have another take on "Serial Marryers".
Years ago, a 75 year old woman in our street was a friend of the family. She married a 40 year old man. But, he'd already moved in with her six months before that, helping to take care of her. She had a bit of money saved from an inheritance, and she had no other family left. Four years later she died from an illness. You see where I'm going with this?
Now, in all that time he lived there with her, he never spoke to her next door neighbour (who was also single and around 75-ish) besides saying hello. Then after the ill lady died he started becoming friendly with this neighbour. But, after a few months the guy moved away from the area. This neighbour had children & grand children and did not have any significant inheritance or money saved up.
Of course this is only a small portion of these "serial marryers". I'm sure most are genuine and that's just the way it has gone for them.
But this guy wasn't evil or anything. At first I thought that, and everyone else was suspicious of the guy, and some were angry. But the more I thought about it, the more I thought that everyone should be channelling this sort of anger towards serious criminals. There was no foul play at all, and he obviously gave her a lot of happiness in her final years. I wouldn't wish anything bad to happen to this guy. He's just one for women to steer clear of I guess lol.
the_feedle
Joined:
4/8/2009
Msg:
47 (
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Why are you EXCITED about being Single?!?!?!
Posted:
4/11/2009 1:07:48 PM
I'm 28 and always excited about being single. I plan never to change this now because I love being able to do whatever I like, whenever I like. Life is about doing everything you want to do, see everything you want to see. Not once have I even considered a Long term relationship to be a goal in my life. The longest I have ever been seeing a woman is 3 weeks, never serious, and I wouldn't have had it any other way.
Life's too short to worry about being alone blah blah. Best just to treat it as a video game or something. "Fun" is the key word I'm getting at.
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