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sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 220 (view)

Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone? Posted: 6/24/2009 9:24:26 AM
WOW!!!! I forgot this thread even existed and that I created it 3 years ago!!! I'm even more surprised at all the replies, but I do thank each and every one of you for posting as it is good to see such a broad range of peoples opinions/feelings on the matter. Now I'm sure you're probably wondering if since I made the original post a few years ago if I have moved out or continue to still live with parents. The answer is that I'm no longer living with my parents and I'm renting a house with a roommate. I do have a full time job now that is decent and has good benefits and it is great to be out on my own. I'm even looking to get another car now since my current one is on the fritz. Unfortunately, I'm still not in the dating arena but it is nice to say at least that when I do try to get to know someone that I do have a place of my own and not living with parents. I do really have to thank one of my best friends for being persistent and letting me know the value of being out on your own and independent. Now I just need to find a good singles group around where I live instead of always falling for the women that are always taken!

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

How do you find singles groups in your area if they exist or there is sometimes a lack of them? Posted: 6/24/2009 8:40:10 AM
Landra, thanks! I've actually started looking at meetup.com will actually give some of those groups a try. Thanks again!

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

How do you find singles groups in your area if they exist or there is sometimes a lack of them? Posted: 6/23/2009 10:01:26 AM
I'm living out on my own, but I still struggle greatly with finding someone who I'm interested in and that is single. I usually try where I'm at meaning workplace. If there's someone I'm interested in I casually start getting to know that person and just have casual conversation. Usually they see I'm a nice guy and continuing talking with me, but later on it just randomly comes up that they have a boyfriend or are married. My last job for example I met someone who was everything I was looking for in a person and she is a wonderful friend, but once again she is taken/dating someone and it does get frustrating at times. I do go to church, but the church I go to is too small for a singles group. I live near Wichita, KS and statistically speaking, it is known as one of the worst cities in the US for singles/dating. I look online for singles groups in that area especially for the things I'm interested in such as hiking, traveling, camping, and the like but Kansas sadly is not known as a place for major outdoor activities since at least half of it is mostly flat and there really are no groups for things I mentioned. Should I continue to look online for someone to date or are there other avenues that I should try first or in conjunction with online?

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Serious question about dating for someone who has finally moved out on their own Posted: 2/12/2008 4:28:30 AM
Thanks for the kind words. It is actually refreshing to be out on my own. I was just curious to see what people here say for someone who is finally out on their own, but has never truly dated before and if I'm still at a disadvantage because of that.

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Serious question about dating for someone who has finally moved out on their own Posted: 2/11/2008 10:07:43 PM
Now I'm in my late 20s and I'm out on my own finally in a nice apartment. My closest friends have told me that moving out will greatly improve my chances of finding and dating someone, but here's the thing. I am single and out on my own now, but the thing is I have never truly dated or been in a serious relationship before. That's not to say that I've never tried or have never fallen in love, but I'll admit I'm generally shy, though not as mush as I used to be when in school, and I do tend to open up quickly once I feel comfortable around and get to know the person. My question is, even though I'm out on my own and can support myself, do I still have a chance of finding/dating someone even though I've never been in a relationship before? Am I truly doomed to never date anyone because I've never dated before in the past?

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 24 (view)

Is it odd to be 19 and never of had a boyfriend? Posted: 11/5/2006 9:11:44 PM
Well I'm 26, almost 27 and I've never had a girlfriend before. Oh sure I've fallen in love with someone before, but that happened on vacation and she's originally from Houston. I've tried to date, eve in college but it just never seems to work out for me. I'm sure you'll have better luck than I when you start college. Best of luck to ya!

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Ok fellas, there's a charm school out there for us Posted: 8/15/2006 6:18:39 AM
just not sure I'd pay the price for it, lol. http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060814/us_nm/life_charm_dc

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Nice Guys Finish....FIRST!!! Posted: 7/28/2006 7:23:04 AM
Hi there cuteblueeyedmedic. I understand how you feel. It seems these days there are so many jerks and bad guys out there that it is virtually impossible to find a truly nice guy out there, but they are there it just is getting to be more few and far between. I can say that I'm a nice guy tell I'm blue in the face, but you and others will ultimately be the judge of that and I certainly want to PROVE it too, I just wish I could be given the chance more. My friends and the people I work with know I'm a good guy and are surprised that I'm still single/haven't found anyone yet. I really want to be with someone so much, but I also don't want to be with the wrong person and then really be miserable. I've checked out your profile and you seem like a very great gal to be around. I think your pretty, ambitious, loving, fun to be around, and goal oriented and anyone who doesn't see that of you is their loss. It's hard to have hope these days that there is someone good out there for us. Believe me, these last few days have been even harder for me considering I've found out the only gal I've ever fallen in love with is getting married in October and a good cousin of mine is also getting married that month in the city that the other gal I fell in love with is originally from and so it makes me feel like I'm getting left behind. Nevertheless I'm still trying to have some hope that there is someone out there for me and it it kind of encouraging me to really start looking hard again.

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Well it has now happened Posted: 7/25/2006 9:54:36 PM
I should've never let myself have that tiny bit of hope that maybe we would by chance meet up again someday and things would work from there as we were meant to be together, but after hearing the news I did tonight, that is now completely over. The only gal I have ever fallen in love with (unfortunately she didn't fall in love with me, but did enjoy me as a good friend and being around the few times I did see her) is getting married in October. I'm glad to hear things for her life are coming together and she has found someone to love, but at the same time I feel some disappointment and sadness. My confidence has been on the slide these days especially since alot of the people I'm around and work with are getting married, are already married, or have a girlfriend/boyfriend and I feel like I'm left in the dust and after hearing tonight's news, I feel like that is the final nail in the coffin, that there really isn't a soul/person out there for me. I've been told I need to concentrate on me, as in making things better for myself such as joining activities, finding other friends, moving out on my own. It's hard to do that though when the one thing you want in this life soooooo much is to be with someone, to find that special someone. It just feels impossible to me though and I feel that no matter what I do, it'll never happen. I feel like I have better odds of winning the lottery. I want to try to move out on my own next year cause I'm hoping that will help in some way of increasing my odds of dating someone because my odds seem practically non-existant right now. I just feel my life could be so much better if I were with someone right now.

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Why does this ALWAYS HAPPEN?!?!? Posted: 7/13/2006 7:48:25 AM
Welcome to my world. Everytime I find a girl I'm interested in and start getting to know, what happens? They always tend to mention that they have a boyfriend. Then I get mad at myself each time for even trying. Right now I really think it is impossible for me to find a gal who I'm attracted and hopefully vice versa that is single.

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 39 (view)

Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone? Posted: 6/20/2006 11:56:52 PM
Ok, after I've calmed down a bit, taken a breather and reread everyone's responses including my own, I've come to a realization and looked at things in a different light. If I really wanted to move out, I guess could have I just had to work harder and put forth more effort into it. And though I wasn't intending for my responses to a lot of the posts here to do this, I guess they really are excuses. It's NOT the fact that I don't want to move out on my own now that I've thought about it more, I guess it's the fact that I'm afraid that I will fail when I do try to make it out on my own. I am my parent's only child and so I feel there's more pressure on me to succeed and that makes me even more nervous that I could end up failing, but I guess I have got to give it a try or I will never know if I could've done it. I guess that is my biggest fear (and alot of other people's as well), that I'll end up failing, that I can't make it out there and that I'll end up being alone. As I've said earlier, I'm a cautious person but maybe I'm being too cautious in this case to where I'm not letting myself try certain things. My apologies to everyone. At least I'm able to admit my faults. You're right, I asked the question, but I didn't like the answers when you were being truthful about what is and isn't a turn off to dating someone. So with that in mind if you feel you must roll your eyes and say "DUH!! That's what we've been trying to tell you!!!!" then by all means go for it. I guess I deserve it.

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

I dont get it Posted: 6/20/2006 11:25:33 PM
You didn't do anything wrong, he's just not the one for you. Simple as that.

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 34 (view)

Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone? Posted: 6/20/2006 10:29:31 PM
Maybe if you had a kid or where going to school... To top it off your not even working full time... What do you do in your spare time? I've been working 40 hours a week (which is considered full time here) for the last 3 weeks because we've been short on staff. Now that things have been stabilized a bit, I generally work between 30-37 hours a week with usually one or 2 days off. I happened to have today off because I needed to take my car in for repairs. What do I do in my spare time whenever I get it? Either hang out with friends or job hunting. Look, I get it. It isn't enough for someone to just be working towards their goal even if they haven't moved out at a certain age for whatever their circumstances or their reasons. I respect that you want someone who's already at least independent and living on their own by at least the mid-20s. I just wish you all could realize that not everyone in this world moves out by that age no matter what the circumstances or situation. I just hope soon I can prove all of you wrong by finding someone who actually is able to look past my living situation and realize that I'm actually a good catch and person to be with. Joan Jett, I never said that put me ahead. All I'm doing is pointing out I CAN do some things on my own without the assistance of others. Like I said though, I get it. Living on your own is the ULTIMATE show of that.

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 29 (view)

Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone? Posted: 6/20/2006 10:07:53 PM
And Sweet? You don't need a fortune to have an apartment. I was living in a small one-bedroom place when I first moved to Ontario and I was making less than $10/hr so don't give me that sob story. Most factories pay at least that these days so unless you're in debt up to your eyeballs, your wife cleaned you out in a divorce, you have child support payments, ect, there really is no excuse. So you were able to do all that where YOU LIVE. Good for you, but expecting others to jump through the same hoop as you just because YOU did is not realistic. If I was where you're at maybe, but when you've got nearly $10,000 in student loans to pay back, health insurance, car insurance, car payments, car repairs which I had to do today, my own groceries, phone bill, credit card, etc. and NOT have parents helping to pay any of my bills even though I may still live with them, I barely have any money left over and certainly not enough to move into an apartment even a one bedroom apartment. The plus side is that I was able to save enough money from my previous job to put into a savings account so that way when I can find me a better paying job and have a bit more breathing room with money, I can put down a good down payment for at least a decent apartment, but when the time is right for ME not just when you or anyone else says so.

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone? Posted: 6/20/2006 9:39:08 PM
Then ask me this area204, would you rather date a guy at 26 who doesn't move out until 30, but is FULLY capable of supporting themselves by then and even capable of supporting a family versus someone who moves out on their own, but has serious problems supporting themselves, gets way over their heads and has no choice BUT to move back in with mommy and daddy? And who says I lack ambition? Just because I haven't moved out yet means I have no ambition, goals and dreams for myself? Sorry, but that just simply isn't true. I'm a cautious person and I'm not one to get in over my head. I'm an observant person as well and I've seen the consequences of people moving out when they are simply not ready and who's supposed to be the judge of when someone should be out on their own? I'm not saying a woman doesn't have the right to have an independent partner, but they should also realize that there are some late bloomers in life and that they are WORKING towards being independent. I'm not trying to make this as an excuse to stay under my parent's umbrella, I do want to move out and have plans to do it just before I turn 30, but I'm making sure I am capabale and have the means of doing it instead of doing it because I HAVE to as people say in order to fully date someone.

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone? Posted: 6/20/2006 8:55:10 PM
HUGE turn-off! If I have a job and an apartment, I expect the same in a guy I date and I appologise if this makes me sound shallow and mean. I agree with the lady in a previous post: concentrate on getting yourself a job and a place to live rather than a girlfriend. Independence and confidence is sexy. No girl gets hot and bothered when a guy says "Wanna go back to my parent's house and make out?" You've got a job and an apartment, good for you. Unfortuantely, not everyone can have the same fortune as you by their early 20s. And no offense, but if you like someone and can't put aside the fact that even though they may still live with their parents, but are at least MAKING some type of effort to move out on their own later on down the road and NOT depend on them for everything, then you are not someone worth dating in my opinion. The fact that my cousin could STILL find someone to date and later on marry while living with my grandma does give me a little bit of hope. It does at least let me know that there are people out there who will like/love you no matter what the living situation is that you might be in.

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone? Posted: 6/20/2006 8:22:32 PM
surprise07, it's not necessairly a matter of not being able to take care of themselves. I have moved out once briefly to attend college and I know I'm more than capable of making it on my own, it's just I don't have the financial resources to do it yet but I am working towards that and am looking for something better to where I have the financial resources to move out on my own. It's one thing to live at home with your parents, not having a job, completely depending on them, and not doing anything to try and make it out on your own, and another thing to live at home with parents, but not having to depend on them for everything, having your own job, paying your own bills, and working towards making it out on your own, but making sure that you have the resources and right time to move out so that you don't crash and burn like so many people do when they feel they have to move out on their own as soon as possible like directly out of highschool. Why does there have to be a set age limit where people should be out living on their own? Everyone is different and everyone does things early or later in life, but as long as you have goals and are working towards them however LONG it may take you, that should not be a detriment to dating someone! I've got 2 examples of what I'm talking about. There are 2 cousins of mine both of whom are in their late 30s/early 40s. One of them, moved out of his mom's house right after he graduated high school and tried to make it on his own at first when was attending college, but ended up moving in with my grandma when he had trouble trying to be out on his own. Now he did live at my grandma's house for a good number of years, but he wasn't complacent and wasn't always depending on her for everything. He had goals he was working towards. It took him awhile, but he had himself a few degrees from college, finished his military service, and was looking for the right job. It did take awhile to find the right one he was looking for and he was still living with my grandma, but he was also DATING too and found the right woman to be with. They got engaged and just before they got married, he found the type of job he was wanting AND found himself a house to move into as well. He moved out of my grandma's house at 35. Now as for my other cousin, he graduated high school in the mid 80s and then went to college briefly in Georgia. I don't know exactly what happened there, but it didn't work out and he moved back home with his parents. He did go back to college however and did get a master's degree in physics and I believe even taught physics for a little bit, but somwhere along the way he just seemed to lose his will of trying to make it on his own. He's one of 6 children in his family, but of the 6 he is the only who has not moved out on his own or has a family. He doesn't even have a job, completely relies on his parents for everything, has little to no social life and does not even make any attempt to try and change his situation and he is now in his early 40s!!! His parents are in their mid to late 60s. Now tell me, which would you rather date? Someone who although hasn't left the nest yet even at a certain age, but has goals and is working towards that, however long it may be, or someone who hasn't left the nest and makes NO EFFORT to do it with no job or to better themselves and completely depend on someone else?

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone? Posted: 6/20/2006 7:23:30 PM
kerrymh, yes I actually do buy my own groceries, do my own laundry, pay for my own car etc...the only thing I don't pay for is rent. I do want to find me a full time job to where I can afford to live on my own, but I also want someone to date/be in a relationship with. I've had mixed reactions to people I've talked to about this. On the one had, my friend said I should concentrate on moving out first before trying to find someone that way it'll be much easier since they are attracted to people living out on their own, and then on the other hand a fellow coworker of mine said it really shouldn't matter because if they truly like/love you, they can overlook that though the odds are usually not that favorable.

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone? Posted: 6/20/2006 6:33:15 PM
Sorry, didn't know this was a redundant thread. I haven't been to these forums in quite awhile so I haven't looked through all the pages to see similar threads like this. If you want to delete this thread then by all means go ahead.

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 59 (view)

Has anyone here given up or thinking about it? Posted: 6/20/2006 6:28:57 PM
ladysundevil, I hate hearing that line too because I think it can't possibly happen to me, but there has to be some truth to that because I've actually seen it happen. One of my friend's oldest sister had been in an off and on again relationship for over 3 years that lead nowhere except for her having a child and him not wanting nothing to do with her. So she said was totally giving up on finding anyone because there were no good guy out there and she was just gonna focus on raising her kid. Well one day one of our neighbors decided to put her on a blind date with someone that the neighbor worked with at her job. WHAM, two years later they are now happily married and are expecting their first child together (on top of the one she had with her ex). So maybe it just isn't our time yet? Or maybe it is just meant to happen to certain people when they aren't looking. Who knows.

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone? Posted: 6/20/2006 6:21:45 PM
I'm 26 and yes, I still live at home with my parents but I do NOT live off of them! I have a job, pay my own bills, and go out and do things every now and then with friends and can come back at home at anytime. It's just I haven't been able to find a full time job to where I can make enough money to move out on my own yet and I DO want to move out on my own in the future just when I feel and know I'm ready. My friend however, thinks that maybe I should move out as soon as I possibly can because that will help increase my chances of finding someone to be in a relationship with. My question is, is that really such a deterent to dating? If someone truly loves you and likes being with you can they overlook the fact that you still live at home with your parents, but that you at least have GOALS to move out at some point in the future?

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 57 (view)

Has anyone here given up or thinking about it? Posted: 6/20/2006 6:14:00 PM
Very well said, alwaysfloss! Alot of the responses in this thread have actually inspiried me not to give up completely. At times I lose faith and hope that I will ever find someone, but the overwhelming urge to want to be with someone does come back and I want to start to try again. I don't want be so far down the road later in life and hate myself for not trying harder to find someone when I was younger, but at the sametime I also FEEL like that even if I do try I'm still gonna end up alone when I'm in my 60s or whatnot and it's really too late by then to start a family though it's not completely unheard of.

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

This lonliness thing is affecting my health!! Posted: 6/20/2006 6:06:16 PM
Wawacutie, there is NOTHING wrong with being friendly with customers because you never know where it will lead as I found out last year. During my last job, I had worked at a fast food restaurant and every now and then there would be this guy who would come in a little after lunch and he would talk to me a little bit and he absolutely LOVED my customer service. He was so impressed he even told his wife about me. A few months later, I had gone to the local Gamestop (videogame store) in my town because the new XBox 360 officially came out at midnight (this was back in November) and the store was having a launch party. I was the first one to preorder the system there so I was guaranteed one that night. Well guess who else shows up there for the launch party? You guessed it, the guy who really liked my customer service. He had also preordered a 360 and was getting one at midnight. We talked and got to know each other and saw that we had lot in common and just generally had fun that night. He gave me his phone number before we left that night and told me to call him as he usually has a lot of people over to play videogames. Now usually I'm kinda nervous at doing that especially when I meet new people as I tend to be shy and he also thought I would not give him a call either. Well I had just gone through a fairly rough year with my best and closest friend and his family who moved away, a close aunt who died in New Orleans back in April (of 2005), my second home generally in ruins thanks to hurricane Katrina, things at my job were getting out of control and I was hating it SOOO much, and I didn't have any other friends in the area anymore. I thought to myself "It's time to take a chance and do something to change my social life cause people aren't just going to flock to me". So I decided one day to give him a call and the rest is history. He has now become of one my closest and best friends and I have a new, better, and a bit more relaxed job thanks to his wife who is my boss at work. I've also met a number of people and friends through him as well and we've gone out and done lots of things which I must say has made my life easier and more enjoyable. I still want to find that special someone, but when you have a friend/group of friends like that it makes it not seem as bad of being single. I know things are terribly hard, difficult, and lonely for you, but just know it can't last forever and you never know who you might meet the next day who could end up being one of your best friends or even better, that special someone you've been looking for. I really hope things do turn up for you!

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 49 (view)

Has anyone here given up or thinking about it? Posted: 6/20/2006 2:42:48 PM
Well forsythia I do understand what you are saying, but I still feel the right person can give that confidence boost even though there is a serious risk to that as well. That girl whom I said I fell in love with was the type of gal I was looking for. She had the type of personality and qualities that I looked for in a woman and I had such a blast being around her. The problem though was the distance factor and only being able to see her once a year and because of that she never truly developed the same feelings towards me as I did towards her, but she did enjoy my company and had lots of fun whenever I was able to visit her. As much as I so desperately want to be with someone, I also don't want to just settle for anyone with whom I'd be miserable with. Even though I've never truly had a girlfriend or been in a relationship before, I've certainly been observant of other people and friends around me and the relationships they've been in and some of those relationships have been just darn right aweful. One of my closest friends moved last year and found himself a girlfriend. I was so envious of him because I wanted a girlfriend as well, but as a few months went by I noticed that there was some strain between them and sure enough they broke up. My friend is very loyal and loves his family dearly and told her from the get go that his family does come first and she was trying to change him of that and get him to do things that he normally does not do especially drinking and sex. He said he would have none of that and told her to hit the road. His parents thought that breaking up might hit him hard, but he took it in stride and said she wasn't the one for me and moved on. Gosh I could learn such a valuable lesson from him, lol! Anyways, when I've observed people who are meant for each other and genuinely love each other then I realize that is what I truly want! Their life may have been good before, but it so much better with each other and that is what I so desparately want. I know my life could be better with someone else, but at the sametime I also want it to be the right someone and not just settle. There are times I hate being alone so much and other times I am perfectly content with it, but deep down inside I know I want to be with someone and I always keep thinking I'm chasing my tail. I also do get though that women are attracted to confident people so I've got to figure out how in the world to show I have a lot of confidence in myself so that I can hopefully and miraculously attract the type of gal I want to be with and vise versa.

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

I give up - goodbye. Posted: 6/20/2006 10:16:06 AM
You know, I just made a recent post about giving up and if others feel that way and I'm amazed at the sheer number of such good responses I have gotten. It does put things in perspective in realizing that there are still good people out there and that there are others who feel the same or are in the same situation as you. There are days I go through where I hate being alone so much and figure why should I keep looking? There's no one around here for me so I should just give up. But the urge of wanting to be with someone and maybe look for that person never truly goes away and resurfaces so it pretty much comes in spurts or cycles. I think maybe it is good to take a break once in awhile so you can regain your footing so to speak and when you feel ready, maybe try again. I think I'm at that point where I need to stop for awhile, but I do know I want to be with someone so much that I jusr probably can't give up for good even though I feel at times it is impossible to find that special someone. Here's to hoping that someday and hopefully soon that special someone does come into our lives.

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 45 (view)

Has anyone here given up or thinking about it? Posted: 6/20/2006 10:04:06 AM
sneakybeauty, I think you're a very beautiful woman and you deserve someone who gives out so much love and can make you happy. Just wish it were so much easier for us. At least you do have 2 kids to look after whom you love and keep you occupied. Yesterday at work, I asked my boss how being home alone for the first time was since her husband had to go out of town this week. She said it was hard at first, but when she went home the other night and went into her bedroom, she saw that her husband had left her a note on the bed. She said it was one of the nicest and sweetest notes he has ever written her and said behind all the joking, teasing, and sarcassam he does at times, he is such a sweet and nice guy. I just kept thinking to myself, "When will I ever get to do something like that for a girlfriend/wife? Why won't anyone ever give me the chance to show that I'm such a sweet and good guy, that I would do anything for them?". I just felt sad the rest of the day, but know that life goes on so I didn't let it keep me down. Alot of you here have said that I should be confident of being myself and single and live my life, but what if being with someone GIVES you that confidence? For example, a girl I had fallen in love with 12 years ago while on vacation. When it was time to leave and go back home, I became SEVERELY depressed especially for the next 2 years. I hated where I lived and all I thought about was her. My grades were horrible, I was picked on at school and I was just plain miserable. I even nearly attempted suicide. Then, 2 years after I had first met her and had fallen in love with her and pleading with my parents so hard to go to the city she lived in, it finally was going to happen! I will never forget the day before we left to go there and seeing her. I was SOOOOOOOOOOOO incredibly happy and was pretty much on cloud 9. I have never experienced that particular level of happiness since then, but after seeing her again my confidence went WAY up. My grades improved, I was talking to people at school, people noticed I seemed so much happier and I felt like I could do anything! I did get to see her again 1 year later, but that would turn out to be the last time I would ever get to see her. My confidence however, was still going so strong and it carried over into my first semester of college. After that semester, however, my confidence began to slip and it was mainly due to events that happened that I wasn't prepared for. I never let myself get back into that deep depression I had gone through years earlier, but I have never regained that level of confidence I had after I finally got to see that girl again. I have enough confidence to just barely get by, but that's it. My confidence these days is shakey, and I just wish I could find someone who would make me happy and vice versa so I could get that confidence boost that I had felt at one time.

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 26 (view)

Has anyone here given up or thinking about it? Posted: 6/19/2006 12:11:38 PM
One thing I do like about this site is that there are people so understanding or are in the same situation and so it is easier to relate and talk to about. This is in my opinion one of the best sites out there in that regard. I do wish all of us can find that special someone so we could share are success stories and happiness if and when that does happen.

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

Has anyone here given up or thinking about it? Posted: 6/19/2006 10:59:57 AM
wsrfr, I also did try eharmony and though I didn't find the right one for me, out of all the dating sites I've tried, that one was actually the most successful one for me. I actually met someone in person from there and we did go on 2 outings, but it never went further then that. We just didn't click. I may give eharmony another go in the future, but right now I think I just might take a break from looking. Don't know how long it will be, but I'm pretty sure I'll be back looking again soon. I wish the best of luck to you as well that maybe someone will come along for you. I always worry that I'll end up all the way in my 60s before I find someone.

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

Has anyone here given up or thinking about it? Posted: 6/19/2006 9:54:30 AM
You do have a good point there cause I could always be wondering to myself "What if". The more I think about it now the more I think that either scenario could happen. I could still keep looking and find it or stop and it some how finds me which has happened to others. Do you also think that the time has to be right also? I've been told that when the time is right it'll happen. There just seems to be so many variables. Why can't it be much easier!!!

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

Has anyone here given up or thinking about it? Posted: 6/19/2006 9:14:34 AM
Thanks for the kind words St. John Cutie. And hoopdog69, I do get what you're saying and I do understand that women like confident men, I'm just trying to figure out if I should just be confident in being single and stop looking maybe that could lead to someone unexpectedly down the road like some here have said. I don't feel hopeless like I want to give up on life and that it isn't worth living. Been down that road once and I will NOT go that route again, but at the same time why keep putting myself up for disappointment when I keep looking and continuously get rejected or have no interest shown towards me? I'm just trying to figure out if I should stop and try to be happy being single though it is hard lots of times.

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Has anyone here given up or thinking about it? Posted: 6/19/2006 8:46:18 AM
See that's where it gets confusing to me. In one instance I'm told to go out and use all avenues to find someone, yet in another instance I'm told by others that I SHOULDN'T go looking for it, that it happens when I least expect it, so which is it? Should I just quit and hopefully let it happen on its own (if that is possible) or should I continue looking which also has not yielded results except in disappointment?

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Has anyone here given up or thinking about it? Posted: 6/18/2006 11:01:54 PM
Right now, I certainly feel like calling it quits on trying to find someone. Anymore I just feel it is impossible for me to find someone out there who I can fall in love with and who will actually fall in love with me. I feel like I have better odds of winning the lottery. I'll admit I haven't explored all avenues for looking for someone, but anymore I think what is the point? Anytime I find someone I'm interested in, it always comes up they have a boyfriend, fiance, or husband and never have an real interest in me. Others here have said that I have be confident in myself and not look as hard and then it'll happen when I least expect it, but I feel that just will not be the case with me. So maybe I should just call it quits and enjoy being single if that's possible. My biggest dream is to be with someone, but maybe I should just focus on something else. Anyone else here feel this way?

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

Will we ever find companionship? Posted: 6/18/2006 10:45:52 PM
I'll certainly admit that I'm not a very sociable person, but that doesn't mean that I don't go out and do anything. I don't have many friends and the very few that I have, I do hang out and do stuff with a lot.

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

Death by suicide Posted: 6/14/2006 11:33:40 AM
Well years ago, I came very close to attempting suicide. I felt things had become so unbearable and that there was no way things could get better, that it was time to end my life. One thing I can tell you right now is I'm so glad I DIDN'T go through with it!! Society needs to realize that suicide is NOT a selfish thing to do to oneself and do much more to understand the true reasonings behind suicide. I can tell you since that time I've made a promise to myself to NEVER get that depressed or hopeless again to where suicide is my only option. I now know that there is usually a light at the end of the tunnel and that things WILL eventually get better. Right now I wish I had a girlfriend/someone to date and every now and then it gets me down that I have trouble finding someone, but I never let it keep me down. I just usually go about my daily routine.

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 29 (view)

is it better to have loved and lost than never loved at all? Posted: 6/14/2006 7:05:33 AM
I know what it's like to fall in love with someone, but the person I fell in love with was during vacation and she lived far away and later learned she didn't have the same feelings towards me as I did towards her. It was so painful, but my heart has healed and I have learned to move on though I have not been able to find anyone to date/have a relationship with.

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

I need advice. What should I do differently? Posted: 6/12/2006 11:05:14 AM
It does help, jimmysmash. I do need to change things currently and try something new and join activities, groups, and whatnot something that at least gets me out of the house more often though a new and really good friend of mine has been helping with that aspect too.

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

I need advice. What should I do differently? Posted: 6/12/2006 9:26:25 AM
Again thanks, for the kind words. I've heard that from a lot of people about it happens when I least expect it and I guess that does hold some wait since that actually did happen to me 12 years ago. The bad side about that though, is that it happened on vacation and when it was time to come back home, MAJOR heartbreak. That was then though and this is now. It's just how do I keep from thinking of wanting to be with someone when that is one of the biggest things I want the most? I am pretty content with myself as is, but I know my life can be better when I share it with someone. Alot of you have said activities and all, but whenever you're around friends who are married or with someone and they show that affection towards each other, you just can't help but feel how you wish that were you. I'm not jealous of them, but I certainly do envy them.

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

I need advice. What should I do differently? Posted: 6/12/2006 8:02:15 AM
Thanks for the kind words Dawn1114. It certainly has given me some ideas it's just gonna take me some time to find something in my area that could work for me. Lolashy, I've heard of speed dating, but I've never tried it before. It is something I'd be willing to try though as I'm always up for meeting new people. I don't know of many events around here that have anything like that, but I will certainly look. Thanks all for the kind words and great advice!

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

tired of being alone...how to fix it? Posted: 6/11/2006 9:05:31 PM
Gosh, we seem to have a lot in common in that regard. Like some have said in my topic, maybe we are just trying too hard because we want it so much. I guess we just have to find some group or activity group to join and maybe and hopefully be able to find someone that way. My only problem is, what do I do if I find someone I want to be with and they actually want to be with me? I've never been in a major relationship/long term dating before and it would be a whole new experience for and I know I do want to screw it up and I most likely will because I'll want it to work so much. Gosh the predicaments we are in. Here's to hoping things actually do working out for us in that we do find that special someone.

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

I need advice. What should I do differently? Posted: 6/11/2006 8:19:22 PM
Thanks bucsgirl and I actually do understand what you're trying to say. I'll definitely admit that I'm not a social butterfly and that my network of friends is VERY small and I certainly do want it to grow. Again, it is just kinda difficult to find a group or activity in my area that I could enjoy or where I have the best chance of meeting new people though living 25 miles away from a mid-size city (which is where I work too) does have its advantages. Just sometimes when I look at the friends I do have and how they are married or are dating someone, I just feel like I'm left behind.

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

I need advice. What should I do differently? Posted: 6/11/2006 5:39:08 PM
Thanks all for the advice especially watermelon. Now I know it's not good to rush things, believe me I learned that in high school. Whenever I do meet someone I'm interested in, I always start a casual conversation to get to know a little bit about that person and just see where things go from there. The problem is whenever I do find the type I'm interested in and start to slowly get to know them, they ALWAYS have a boyfriend or are married and what not. Watermelon, you said that I should do the things that I really enjoy, but that is also a problem. The thing that I enjoy the most is traveling and driving and seeing things especially with a group of people. Unfortuantely, that takes a lot of money, time, and there are really no organizations or groups around here that I can join that do that sort of thing. I'm not a bar or club person so that most likely limits my opportunity to meet someone. I don't hate myself and I'm glad to be here, but I really want to enjoy the things in life with someone too.

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

I need advice. What should I do differently? Posted: 6/11/2006 10:52:44 AM
It's been awhile since I have posted here, but I don't know what else to do anymore. I want to be in a relationship so badly, but I always seem to fail. Lately, every gal that I'm attracted to or interested in and start getting to know always brings up (casually) that they have a boyfriend, fiancee, or husband and then I'm back at square 1 again. It really sucks cause they are usually the type of gal I'm interested in which are the pretty, sweet, fun, and easy to talk type of gals, the ones that like to smile a lot. This happened to me yesterday at work as a gal from another store came in that day to work with me since we were short of workers. Gosh she was gorgeous and had such a great smile and so easy to talk to, but once again it came up that she had a boyfriend. I'm at a loss, I just don't know what to do. I've tried various dating sites for over a year and a half with hardly any success and this includes some of the bigger sites like eharmony. I'm a very nice and easy guy to get along with and I love to talk and do things with someone once I get to know them. The very few friends I have know this of me and even they are kind of baffled that I don't have a girlfriend. I've never had a girlfriend in my life thus far and haven't even had that first kiss and I'm 26. I know what it's like to fall in love with someone and to suffer a broken heart because of the fact they live far away and don't have the same feelings towards you as you do towards them. Take this site, plentyoffish for instance. I emailed about 5 gals lastnight who seem interesting and I let them know I viewed their profile and would be happy to get to know more about them as I'm always looking to meet new people. Not a single response and they've read my email to them. At times I just feel there's no hope for me. Maybe living in Kansas is what's hurting me, who knows. Should I try maybe joining a local church dating group or something? I've always heard those are good places to try out and even though I am Catholic and I am very open to other denominations. Sorry for this post going on so long, but kudos to those who have read the whole thing and maybe have some kind words or advice to give me. I'm just so sick of being single. I've been single all my life and I want to try dating or being in a serious relationship. My biggest dream is to find that special someone and to get married and to have a family, but it just seems like the most impossible thing. I feel like I have better odds of winning the lottery.

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Another Horrible Birthday Posted: 2/4/2006 10:22:35 PM
This is the thing I don't get. Why so many guys do this to such great gals. Nosoup4u, I think you are very pretty and you have a great smile. I'm sorry to hear things have gone really bad for you these past couple of days. Sadly, some guys are out there for one thing even though they may say other wise and this is what angers me. Because of what he and other guys out there have done, you probably are unwilling to trust guys like me who are genuine and would be very happy and honored to be with someone such as yourself. I know what's it like to be broken hearted and I could not stand to put someone else in that much pain. I hope you can get through this difficult time and do know, even though it may be hard to believe, that there are honest and good hearted guys out there that would do anything for you.

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

My problem Posted: 2/4/2006 7:18:24 PM
Hey, I understand how you feel cause I'm right there with ya. I'm 26 and at times I feel like I must doing something wrong of there's something wrong with me because I cannot for the life of me find anyone or someone who is willing to give me a chance. I don't always dwell on it though and I know life goes on and there are certain things I'm focusing on right now that is helping, but I still do wish I was with someone. There are times I doubt it'll ever happen, but I still try to keep up hope even though it's hard. I'll admit my confidence isn't the highest it can be right now, but that's not to say I don't have any at all. I just keep telling myself that the future is unwritten and who knows what will happen tomorrow. Last year my best and closest friend and his family moved away and I thought I would not find any other friends and then WHAM, a person came walking into the place I formerly worked at, liked how I conducted things and started a conversation with me. We've been friends since and hang out alot and I've gotten to meet other friends of his and stuff so that right there gives me some hope that the unexpected might happen and I'll find that special someone. You just gotta try to keep your head up or find something that will keep you occupied so that you don't dwell on it so much.

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Why is it so hard to let go?? Posted: 2/4/2006 7:06:04 PM
I may not understand this, so forgive me for being blunt. Why do you guys date someone or have a serious relationship with someone who does drugs/is a serious alcoholic when later on down the road it ends up hurting the relationship? This is just something I've never been able to understand. Don't get me wrong, I do understand you love the person and have may have fallen for them before they became addicted or whatever, but to me just staying or trying to help someone with a serious drug addiction is just asking for trouble. This is just my opinion though, I don't have any experience with that other then seeing first something similar with my best friend's sister and her ex.

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

First time devistations Posted: 2/4/2006 6:58:35 PM
I'm so sorry to hear that this has happened to you. I wish so many guys out there were not just after sex or would take up some responsibility when they do end up having a child. I'm 26 and still remain a virgin and plan on remaining that way until I can hopefully find that special someone I'm meant to be with and get married. Sometimes I doubt there is anyone for me out there, but I still try to have hope that there is.

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Are there any travel groups or clubs to join? Posted: 2/4/2006 6:54:26 PM
Thanks!! I'll definitely give them a look over!

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Are there any travel groups or clubs to join? Posted: 2/3/2006 4:53:00 PM
I LOVE to travel and want to more of it so much that I constantly think about it. I want to go back to the mountains of Colorado and camp up there, visit cities I haven't been to yet such as Chicago and Los Angeles and so much more. I find it much funner though to travel with a group of people and was wondering if there are any major travel groups or clubs one could join?

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Where did you go on your last vacation? Posted: 2/3/2006 4:51:09 PM
I had gone to Arkansas and New Orleans, Louisiana for the holidays. This wasn't my first time to Arkansas (it would be my third however I never went this far into the state), but it was my first time going to Little Rock. My parents and I went to visit my grandma (mom's mother) who had been relocated there due to the hurricane that hit New Orleans last year. It was such a surprise to her cause we didn't tell her we were coming and she was so happy to see us. Afterwards we ventured down to New Orleans to see the rest our family there and spend time with them for the holidays. Had a lot of fun, but also got to see the devastated areas and also the area where my grandma and another aunt formerly lived. It was so devastating and heartbreaking to see because it still looked like an atomic bomb went off. I feel so bad for those people and hope they can some how put their lives back together. That was my most recent vacation.

sweetguy6

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Quotes that I live by. Posted: 2/3/2006 6:15:45 AM
I think those quotes are very true and if more people lived by them, everyone would be so much happier.

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