What should I do about this....? chat & forums.

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Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

What should I do about this....? Posted: 11/9/2009 9:37:25 PM
DO NOT go to the funeral home. Call him and express your sympathy, let him know that you are there for him. You didn't meet his mother, so it would be inappropriate to attend unless he asked you to be with him. If he doesn't ask, give him a card, and let him be until he calls you. I also don't think that it's necessary to take him food. There is probably a lot of his family around. Let them take care of him right now. When he needs you, he will let you know. JMO

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 34 (view)

my girlfreind left me for a for lesbien Posted: 11/9/2009 9:19:24 PM
I hate to sound like a shrew - but - oh hell - I don't hate it that much...... It turns out your girlfriend preferred a woman to you. On a different note: You need to use a dictionary, and check your punctuation and grammar before posting. Spellcheck is a wonderful application, and better yet, IT'S Right there on your computer. Also, is there a point to your Post? Are you asking if you are ugly?? You should put your photo on Hot or Not! That would tell you...

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 46 (view)

is it wrong to want revenge?? Posted: 11/9/2009 9:12:10 PM
Yes it's wrong! "An eye for an eye would make the whole world blind" However, it's normal. How ****ed up is that?? It's better to graciously move on at your own pace. Eventually you will stop having fantasies about Bobbittizing him, or calling up that new date to tell her that when he started messing with her, he was still with you - or any other scenario that has played out in your mind.. JMO

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Rejected me, but is insisting on friendship... Posted: 11/9/2009 9:02:25 PM
What the heck is going on here? Doesn't she understand that I don't want that? Apparently not. My advice is to stop answering her calls, if you run into her somewhere and can't avoid conversation, say "It's nice to see you, but I have to go", keep yourself unavailable. If all else fails, threaten to call the police and tell them she is stalking you. JMO

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 26 (view)

Mixed Signals? Posted: 11/9/2009 8:51:01 PM
In response to the original post: - He knocked over a bunch of your personal items, in YOUR home, and didn't apologize, or pick them up?? It's bad enough that he didn't care about them being YOUR things that he could have damaged, doesn't it make you wonder?? Further down the road - if you happened to take your relationship to a different level - would you be constantly picking up after him? Would he raze through your things like a bull in a china shop, damage your and his belongings without a care to what is broken??? That's RUDE!!!!!!!!!!! You aren't a maid!!! - He ignored you, didn't introduce you to his friends in a public setting?? He was pretending you weren't there. To me, this sounds like he showed you how high in his esteem you are held. Honestly I don't think that you are going to get much more from him than what you are getting now. If you want to lead this kind of life, always in his shadow, and out of his thoughts(thoughtfulness), then by all means, have at er.. However, If you don't, you should move on asap! JMO

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 24 (view)

Where do I start? Posted: 8/31/2009 9:20:44 PM
Well you started a forum thread, which is a good start. You don't have to explain to someone that you have Aspergers, you can just tell them that you are socially uncomfortable.. tend to say the wrong things at the wrong time.. and that if you seem stand-offish, to tell you, and you will make an effort to be more sociable.. It's the way you are wired, no doctor can change it.... Live life the best you can, and the rest will work itself out

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 54 (view)

What would you have said? Posted: 8/31/2009 9:17:16 PM
I think you handled it well. He was very flippant in his comment that it doesn't matter if you would support a man or not, as he pays most of his wages/income to child support anyways, which sounds to me like he was telling you that in the long run you WOULD be supporting him... regardless, sounds to me like a BUM... If you set your standards and stick to them... you will do well. Good for you JMO

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 60 (view)

Criticizing your significant other's parents Posted: 8/31/2009 9:14:49 PM
Probably not a good idea to criticize your S/O's family PERIOD! You either like them or you don't... but keep it to yourself..

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

Why do women try to make men feel quilty? Posted: 8/31/2009 9:13:33 PM
Women lay a guilt trip on because they are travel agents for them... And if you feel guilty, it worked... if not..shrug... she will try another tactic next time..

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 30 (view)

How do i walk away? Posted: 8/31/2009 9:12:40 PM
How do you walk away??? Hopefully on two legs... It's harder to stay than it is to leave. Why stick around and hope for something to happen that you know deep down isn't? Put on a pair of boots and start walkin... JMO

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Guys are still idiots Posted: 7/7/2009 9:34:47 AM
Mhm.. Why are the men complaining?? If they buy the drinks, who's fault is it? In a bar with 400 people - lets say half are men, that makes 200 men that may or may not buy a drink. If a girl wants to work the crowd, visit, and gets 10 drinks bought for her, that's only 5% of the men who offer to buy one right?? I think the odds are good of going out and getting drunk without spending any money.. If you don't want to buy a girl a drink, don't. Noone is forcing you. JMO

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 37 (view)

Do all women change 100% after committment is achieved? Posted: 7/7/2009 9:24:38 AM
I think that women AND men BOTH change after committment is achieved. Each person is different though. If you are interested in knowing what she is saying in her language there is always the ROSETTA STONE. It is a program that will teach you her language. What more loving thing can you do than to learn how to speak Filipino, (Spanish & Tagalog)??? JMO

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Communication Question -Revised Posted: 6/21/2009 1:34:22 PM
What exactly is the question? Doesn't make any sense to me.

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 41 (view)

What a Dirt Bag!!!!! Posted: 6/21/2009 1:33:20 PM
Which one of you is the "dirt bag"????? Sounds to me like he didn't do a darn thing wrong. You're the one that's spewing. JMO

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 56 (view)

Do you prefer hints or just to be told straight up? Posted: 6/21/2009 1:30:13 PM
I think that there can be a fine line between being demanding, and being straight up. There are ways to explain what it is you want, without seeming like an @sshole.

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 26 (view)

manic depressive-what are they like-is it safe to associate with them -would u Posted: 6/10/2009 12:10:38 PM
You should research the diseases a little, then make your decision based on clinical information. Personally having been involved with a bi-polar/manic depressive, I would never willingly get into another relationship with someone who was. The choice is yours though.

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 144 (view)

Do you hesitate to contact someone with zero roses left? Posted: 6/9/2009 9:30:37 AM
What do you think this is?? The BACHELOR? Darn!! I already posted to this..

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Do you find it easy to fall in and out of love? Posted: 6/9/2009 8:53:29 AM
Ahhhh... we humans are fickle creatures.

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

Defining A Few Posted: 6/9/2009 8:48:31 AM
Ok this is funny. AGAIN. OP: I weigh 150 lbs - Does that mean that I am carrying a "few extra pounds"? I am not ashamed of my weight, I work my @ss off to stay fit. Isn't it true that muscle weighs more than fat???? According to the National Center for Health Statistics, the average weight for an adult female in the United States is: •162.9 pounds So that puts me "UNDERWEIGHT" does it not?? WOW!!! - looks around for some Doritos, and chocolate I better put some weight on so that I can honestly say in my profile that I am "AVERAGE" Get over the weight issue. If you aren't happy with the "headshots" you see.. ask for a current full-body picture. You can make your decision based on the "camera adds 10 lbs" - and either meet them or not. .. Or you can finish the date with them, and don't take them out again. This isn't rocket science... sheesh...

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Confused: woman shows Long Term profile but isn't looking!?!? Posted: 6/9/2009 8:31:40 AM
She could be looking for long term, but she wasn't interested in you. And looking doesn't imply anything...

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 49 (view)

Asking a guy out Posted: 6/5/2009 1:33:17 PM
No don't knock on his door asking for a cup of sugar.. that's so boring! - Next time you see him - you could stumble a little bit - right into him... then breathlessly tell him "We really need to stop running into each other this way - can I buy you a cup of coffee to make up for my lack of grace and poise?" grins mischievously..

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 348 (view)

Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone? Posted: 6/5/2009 1:27:34 PM
I am married.. that stops me from meeting anyone.

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

Long story i need to get off my chest Posted: 6/5/2009 1:23:28 PM
Never said you looked at his phone on the "first date" - said you "Opened your legs"..You opened his phone on the "second date"... at least according to your OP. In my opinion.. you shouldn't have done either.. Can't imagine a lot of men would be attracted to that.. But whatever.. you don't like my opinion - don't ask for it.

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

i know its been said before, buttt.... Posted: 6/5/2009 1:17:20 PM
Well you obviously trusted him enough to meet him AT his HOME. You want to argue the point, you shouldn't have asked for other's opinions. You don't like what you are hearing - too bad. That's the way it is. AND YES you are 20 years old.. come back once you have doubled your age... then tell us where you went wrong.. whatever

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

I need advice Posted: 6/5/2009 1:14:09 PM
As I would say to any person who was involved in something like this... Get the hell out of his personal life. Keep your business relationship professional, and DO NOT pursue any extracurricular activities with him again. He has made his choice by not pursuing you... Nuff said.. JMO

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

Widowed maybe ready to start again Posted: 6/5/2009 1:08:04 PM
Hey Mg. Sorry for your loss. I can't imagine losing my husband, it would be devastating, but I know that life would go on in time. Take the time that YOU need to move on, there are no absolutes as you already know, so when you are ready, and it's the right person, it will happen. big hugs and JMO

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 598 (view)

Why do married men masturbate? Posted: 6/5/2009 9:59:17 AM
Why do PEOPLE masterbate PERIOD.... They are horny... that's why. If you want attention and some sex - grab him by the pecker and give it a good tongue lashing.. if that doesn't "perk" him up.. there's trouble... JMO EDIT: I alread posted to this years ago.. sheesh.. oh well.. dont' think my answer is much different..

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 24 (view)

When women say I need time to think, How much time do they want? Posted: 6/5/2009 9:54:25 AM
When a woman says she needs time to think, it's indefinite... Sorry JMO

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

Love is a sham Posted: 6/5/2009 9:31:11 AM
We all go through the "single" stage. Wanting someone so bad that we choose the wrong people, time after time to have serious short-term relationships with... There are many many people in the dating "pond" - that would be right for an individual. There is nothing wrong with testing the waters; so to speak. Before I met my husband, I drank from many taps, lakes, and some sloughs.. Some were refreshing, some were down-right gross.. some agreed with my constitution - some gave me indigestion..you just learn to distinguish which ones taste better before you sip. In all seriousness - I talked to lots of people on this site - met some - didn't meet some; which I regretted afterwards.. The point is to keep tasting - eventually you will find a cool drink that will agree with you as well as keep you sated... JMO

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 38 (view)

kids being violent Posted: 6/5/2009 9:16:28 AM
As our children get older, they don't get any less cute, or adorable in our eyes. You don't have to hurt your child to discipline him though. There is always a reason that a child hits. Most of the time it is because they want attention, though sometimes it's because they are mad. Don't make a game out of it by taking their arm/hand and placing it by their side. You are giving them the attention they want. Perhaps try by making a "sad face" saying "Ouch, that hurts" - the child will be likely to acknowledge your feelings, and want to make it better through the example that you set as a mother. Hitting back will just enforce the hitting behavior, and make them more likely to keep on doing it. However as always, this is JMO

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

Single father of 2 little girls looking for advice Posted: 6/5/2009 8:56:12 AM
In response: 1. Of course women consider single fathers. Most women over the age of 25 have children of their own. 2. You can mention that you have custody of your children on your profile, it will weed out the people that aren't interested in dating someone that has children, although there are many different scenarios. 3. See #1. Most women over 25 have children of their own - except the career women, or the women who have decided to wait .. does it really matter? 4. If a man sees a woman with 2 little kids, does he automatically assume she's a single mom?? Food for thought?? JMO

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

What to call my nephew Posted: 6/5/2009 8:50:52 AM
You aren't wrong for WANTING to call him Brayden - but it isn't his name. Call him by his name. When he gets older, he will tell you what he wants to be called. JMO

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 24 (view)

single fathers Posted: 6/5/2009 8:49:32 AM
So Amber - what you are saying that for every single mother out there, there isn't an equal amount of single fathers????? You need to think about what you say - All the children were conceived by TWO parents.. usually the Mother and the Father. One parent usually has the child more often is all. Doesn't mean that there are more single mothers than fathers now does it? JMO

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 26 (view)

Broken heart here... Posted: 6/5/2009 7:54:05 AM
The OP was honest with this woman, and went ahead with the procedure. There is no crime in that. Keep in mind though OP - you KNEW she eventually wanted children. You stayed with her regardless of her desire to have children; knowing full well that YOU would NEVER be able to give them to her, let alone want to. When you went through with your vasectomy, you cut the ties (no pun intended) to your relationship with her.. she just went through the motions until someone else came along.. Keep in mind - you could have worn condoms slathered with spermacide - AND taken the "MALE PILL" (yes there is a pill for men), without making it so permanent.. (There is just as good a chance of having an "OOOPS" with a vasectomy as there is using both methods of this contraception. If you are sorry that she's gone, you should have thought about it before you "snipped" away her wants. Get over it, this is really what you wanted... JMO

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Long story i need to get off my chest Posted: 6/5/2009 7:39:00 AM
Hate to say this, but will anyways... You played head games with him, ****ed him on the first "date", snooped through his phone, etc.. What do you expect? Have a little self-respect - then others will follow... JMO

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

i know its been said before, buttt.... Posted: 6/5/2009 7:28:18 AM
Why would you bring a friend on a "first date"??????? You were looking for failure the moment you agreed to meet up with someone (Presumably to get to know them better) - and you bring a friend along for them to get to know too. Is it any wonder that a man would prefer the girl who is outgoing, flirty, and fun? As much as you say that you don't have a low self esteem, it's taken an obvious nose-dive, since the men you have been meeting would rather date your friends than YOU. Why would you call her a ho? Because the man you were meeting preferred her to you, and you're jealous.. Start dating smart. Always meet in a public place, and if after talking to him for a while you decide that you don't want to see him again.. offer to hook him up with one of your friends.... JMO

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Wait a year to pay off divorce debts before getting remarried? Posted: 5/27/2009 8:21:07 AM
No point in arguing about money, you either have it or you don't. Whoever said that getting married isn't expensive is correct, ONLY if you don't have a wedding though. If these people want to have a large wedding with lots of pretty things, you better believe it's going to cost money. My honest opinion is that if they are going to be together forever in holy matrimony, waiting one year isn't going to hurt anyone.

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

Ex's new husband is Daddy Posted: 5/27/2009 8:11:42 AM
Your son is very young, he could be being prompted to call this man "daddy". While you may not like it, he is probably too young to understand the reasons that he doesn't have to, or shouldn't. You can try by explaining that you and his mommy made him together. That's why they are called "mommy" and "daddy", people who aren't family get called by their first names.. but chances are, doing this can get your son in trouble at his mother's house. There is really no reason to confuse him at this stage. This is of course JMO

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

Was I wrong??? Posted: 5/27/2009 8:02:25 AM
I think it's time for you to go back to court loaded with the police report, let them know that your ex-wife is marrying the man , and that you want full custody of your child, with access only to the mother. Crappy deal, but the child should come first. JMO

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

cfs --- are they crossing the line? Posted: 5/27/2009 7:56:50 AM
If Child Services has withdrawn children from their home, and parents, you better believe the children were living in near squalor. There are conditions that children live in every day that are beyond disgusting to most people, yet these children remain in the home because they are fed, and clothed. It's a very slippery slope if you consider that people have been given the right in Canada to express their religious beliefs in the schools, in the workplace, and in public (as long as they aren't trying to force it on anyone else). These parents can very well say that they are expressing their religious beliefs, and argue that the Sheiks can wear turbans in the RCMP (which is not part of the uniform), Aboriginals can have long braids, HIjabs can be worn by children playing sports and their child should be allowed to wear a swastika..It's a very sharp double edged sword! Add in the fact that these children were probably malnourished, not dressed for the weather conditions, and living in a home that isn't fit for a rat, It isn't surprising that CFS has taken them. I bet that the parents will be going to jail though... shrug JMO

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

Saying Good Bye To a Child... Posted: 5/22/2009 2:45:38 PM
Actually katy - you did say it comes with the birth families- it doesn't affect me one way or the other, I nurture the children - they are who is important. If you had read my posts you would see that I am being factual - not ignorant. While I can't look at it from a biased perspective, I am just being honest about the medical aspect of it, and asking for more information. (while trying to see where I should be offering my condolences) If the OP wants to tell her side of the story I would like to hear it.If not, that's fine too.. I however, refuse to have a flame war with you or anyone.. If you are a pediatrician, or a behavioral therapist, I would welcome a debate with you in private.In here I am going to stick with the topic at hand... or not...

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

Saying Good Bye To a Child... Posted: 5/22/2009 2:06:54 PM
Oh dear - here we go again... 68Katy - Reactive attachment disorder is a problem with social interaction that occurs when a child's basic physical and emotional needs are neglected, particularly when the child is an infant. It is NOT something that a child is born with. Causes Any of the following conditions occurring to a child during the first 36 months of life puts them at risk: • Unwanted pregnancy • Pre-birth exposure to trauma, drugs or alcohol • Abuse (physical, emotional, sexual) • Neglect (not answering the baby’s cries for help) • Separation from primary caregiver (i.e. Illness or death of mother or severe illness or hospitalization of the baby, or adoption • On-going pain such as colic, hernia or many ear infections • Changing day cares or using providers who don’t do bonding • Moms with chronic depression • Several moves or placements (foster care, failed adoptions) • Caring for baby on a timed schedule or other self-centered parenting

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

POF is stupid Posted: 5/22/2009 12:39:56 PM
here you go: http://www.plentyoffish.com/faq.aspx#10 You can delete your profile from this link

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

So just how wrong is it? Posted: 5/22/2009 12:30:01 PM
I think that you have nothing to lose by messaging her and pointing out that you think her aunt is lovely. If her aunt is single, you may get lucky... Enjoy

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

want advise about a 8 year marriage ending Posted: 5/22/2009 12:04:55 PM
Your profile says you are already divorced??? Ummm.. Separated for 3 months only - honestly IMO you shouldn't even be looking yet.. She's wanting out.. let her go

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

He Status says Single, But we've been together for Yrs. Posted: 5/22/2009 12:03:13 PM
I agree with others who say to set up a meet. When you walk up to him... it will be written all over his face. You really need to dump this d!ckhead... JMO

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

living in the same house Posted: 5/22/2009 12:00:03 PM
My question is, how can i make it bearable to live in the same house until it is sold and i can then start healing myself? Umm.. you don't.. you kick him out on his ass, and tell him that the house is yours, the porsche can go with him. Or make him sell everything and take your HALF.. Porsche included.. In that situation... there is no way of playing Mrs. Nice Guy.. JMO

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 69 (view)

Dying the carpet to match the drapes.... Posted: 5/22/2009 11:06:30 AM
Yes, I like doing the multi-color, "The Clown" on her, where I dress as Bozo and stick my big red nose in her. We call it "Clowning around". If I could find it here I'd do the bright pink... I think it would be f*ckin' hilarious... You can buy an over -the -counter- deposit-only(no pun intended) - color in hot pink and Dye your yammer. As long as it doesn't have more than 10% H2O2. It won't burn the sensitive skin..

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

When to take your profile off? Posted: 5/22/2009 9:59:54 AM
Minako has it right. Your can change your status to Not Single/Not looking. If your date happens to be looking at your profile, it will give some reassurance that you are at least serious about seeing where things go, without looking like you are packing it in because you think that you have found "the one". Once you have had the "exclusive" talk, then discuss it with him from there.. have a great weekend

Felanie

Joined: 1/23/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

Saying Good Bye To a Child... Posted: 5/22/2009 8:59:35 AM
allinthesoul - I am not about to start a pissing match with you, I am just stating my opinion, granted I am angry and less likely to be sympathetic, when I work with children and adults that suffer from these issues. I know the causes... As I had stated in my first post - There was a whole lot more to the story.. and OP has agreed that there is. You better believe that when a child is diagnosed with something as severe as PTSD, I am going to be wondering wtf happened.. I try not to read between the lines, but sometimes just can't stop myself. I work with these children.. all of my empathy and compassion is for them... they are the innocent. When it comes to taking sides, I am on THEIR's. I have seen these children bounced from foster home to foster home, and the people who have taken on the responsibility to care for them (when they are not in the care of the school system or the mental health district). I have worked in a facility, where these children go after they have grown to adults. I have come home from work, sat on my couch, and cried, after hearing what some of them experienced as children. You really have NO idea. As parents, the onus is on US to protect our children from the "boogey-man". When you have a child that is fragile mentally or physically, you have to provide a more stable and calm atmosphere for them, not one that is so chaotic, that it manifests itself into a life-threatening situation for the child and the others around him/her. When push comes to shove - who is more important?? My point is that (reading between the lines) - there had to have been major trauma to this child to have pushed the mind to a place where no person - let alone a young kid- should ever be. And how the hell did it happen in the first place, when there is a loving parent there to protect them? OP: Did your child not get put on mood-stabilizing drugs to offset the rages, or the BPD? Does your child have a closed-head injury? How did he come to be in the situation he is? Why are you hiding what happened from the participants in this thread? Are you worried that it might reflect badly on you, and lessen your chance to find someone on this site? If you have done all you can, there should be no shame in telling the whole truth. I believe that you love him, and I believe that you are no longer in a position to take care of him. I also give you props for admitting that you can't. I do have difficulty with the fact that a foster family CAN though. If he is as severe as described, it would be recommended that he remain institutionalized, because if you can't look after him, how can someone else?? allinthesoul - Perhaps it's because I am familiar with people who suffer from this, and the whole thread started the alarm bells ringing for me.. but don't you want the whole story?? As always stated - this is Just my Opinion - I am not asking you to like it.

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