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Thread: Brain transplant

haidees

Joined: 4/9/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

Brain transplant Posted: 7/28/2009 6:43:55 AM
A man is in hospital with his family. Doc comes in and tells him his brain is failing and he needs a new one. There are two brains on offer. One is $500 and the other is $5000. The family goes into a huddle. After a minute or two, the wife pops up her head and asks about the price difference. "Well", says the doctor. "The $500 brain is female, the $5000 brain is male." The family are stunned. After a second the men start to laugh. The wife turns to the doctor as asks "why there is such a large price difference?" She replies "Well, the female brain has been used, you know."

haidees

Joined: 4/9/2009

Msg: 16 (view)

Sweetpea Posted: 7/25/2009 10:54:24 PM
it's the word I usually use. Mostly for kids and animals. Haven't met a male I'd call sweetpea yet, but here's hoping. I's what my mother used to call all of us kids. SHe had 4 and usually mixed us up. so we all ended up geting called sweetpea or sugarplum. Now, if we heard out full name, we knew we were in trouble.

haidees

Joined: 4/9/2009

Msg: 63 (view)

Body piercings on men? Ladies whats your feelings? Posted: 7/24/2009 12:09:49 PM
no problems on my side. Wish the pierced guys would hit on me though, not just the under 20's I like a man who is comfortable enough in his own skin to do what he likes with it. It's his skin, his choice. I like looking at pierced guys though, never dated one.

haidees

Joined: 4/9/2009

Msg: 21 (view)

Would you try a male sex surrogate? - for the ladies Posted: 7/10/2009 1:27:18 AM
yes I would try it. Around here we have SECASA, which is basically for 'survivors' of sexual assault, but they don't offer anything like this. I think it is a tool that needs to be used carefully. But I think it could be really helpful. Even if intercourse is not involved, just learning how to non sexually touch someone would be helpful. Except for handshaking I didn't touch anyone physically for almost ten years, including my family. This could have helped me in a great way.

haidees

Joined: 4/9/2009

Msg: 186 (view)

my date had pet rats ! Posted: 7/6/2009 7:45:58 AM
I bred rats for many years. All clean, healthy, happy and ideal pets for small homes. Rfur (as in R 'fer Rat) used to come about town with me. I had a hoodie that he liked to nap in while I was walking. If I stopped to talk, he was out of there like a flash for pats and hugs. Funny thing was that all the girls loved him and wanted to hold him, while all the guys jumped a mile and wouldn't come near. I have guinea pigs, spiders and fish at the moment, but as soon as I get a home big enough, the snakes will start arriving.

haidees

Joined: 4/9/2009

Msg: 130 (view)

Long vs short hair Posted: 6/30/2009 8:17:41 AM
up until about 8 years ago I had hair down to my backside. Then got a job at my local swimming pool. Cue chlorine damage. I went in Monday and had a few inches cut off. Back in Tuesday. By the end of the week, I had a buzz cut. So much easier to care for. I had 'teddy bear hair'. Then came the dyke comments. Then the pain of growing it back. From ear length to pony tail length is a complete PITA. Couldn't do a thing with it. Now it's long enough to pull back in a french braid, or leave out. I never noticed any difference in the way I was treated (except for people assuming I was gay), or the way I thought.

haidees

Joined: 4/9/2009

Msg: 36 (view)

The why not of an engagement ring Posted: 6/26/2009 8:37:20 PM
There is a practical reason too. A lot of men work in industrial or farm work. At least around here. No jewellery is worn in case it gets caught in machinery. There can be nasty consequences. Working with machinery, animals, or any kind of manual work, jewellery gets in the way and is likely to get damaged. My father has replaced his wedding ring three times for that reason. If I had a boyfriend and wanted to get married, I would have no problem getting a ring if that's what he wanted. I would MUCH prefer my boyfriend to make my ring if he could. So much more intimate and shows he cares, more than just going into a shop. I prefer to give hand made gifts ot my friends and family.

haidees

Joined: 4/9/2009

Msg: 139 (view)

How many women here prefer short/skinny men? Posted: 6/25/2009 4:19:25 AM
I prefer to look directly into a man's eyes, not his belly button. Tall men pat me on the head, walk fast enough that I have to skip to keep up, make jokes about how short I am and are hard to cuddle standing up. Short men make sex more intimate. Nothing better than face to armpit when you're naked. Not. Yes, Beth. SHORT MEN ROCK!!!!!

haidees

Joined: 4/9/2009

Msg: 78 (view)

Are there some women that... Posted: 6/25/2009 4:13:33 AM
I like men with either really long hair, or none at all. My favourite gym/step instuctor was a baldy and it was a fight to get into his class. Full of skinny Italian women with full hair and makeup. Was most amusing when I was there in old sneakers, tshirt and baggy shorts. He was hot though. Some men can do bald (Billy Zane comes to mind) and some can't

haidees

Joined: 4/9/2009

Msg: 45 (view)

Celibate since April, 1992 Posted: 6/19/2009 8:11:34 PM
Well, sex not being a really high priority for me, I can go without for years, and have. Was celibate from 17-21, 21 to 36, 36-40, and I'm back on the wagon. Do I miss it, sometimes. Do I need it? no. And I'm sick and tired of bad sex, so the next time, if there ever is one, will be with someone I can't wait to rip the clothes off, not just because it's been a while and I want to see if I have cobwebs. Oh, and for cosmicmisfit, if not in a relationship, there's always the self love option. Or random sex. Just like for everyone else.

haidees

Joined: 4/9/2009

Msg: 432 (view)

Best bumper sticker Posted: 6/19/2009 5:30:22 AM
Good Friends wil bail you out of jail. Your best friend will also lean down and whisper "See, told you I could run faster." Don't go to the Dark Side. Their cookies have raisins. Of course nice guys finish last. It's only polite

haidees

Joined: 4/9/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

Why On Earth Would You Read a Message, and Not Respond? Posted: 6/19/2009 3:11:05 AM
There is also the response I've gotten from sending a "thanks but no thanks" email. Along the lines of 'how dare you say (whatever) you are a fat, skanky ho and need to get laid' This is an actual reply I got from someone sending me an inital email and me sending back an 'I don't think we'd suit each other' answer. So now I just read and delete. It's just safer.

haidees

Joined: 4/9/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

Is it in my approach? Posted: 6/19/2009 2:59:05 AM
well, if I were 20 years younger, I'd be messengering you. I really prefer the photoshopped image, It's pretty cool, as is the other close up shot. You are very attractive (or at least my physical type). I like short men - easier to hug ;) I hope you do have some really good luck. You sound like someone I could hang with.

haidees

Joined: 4/9/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

ok Ladies if sex is'nt everything then what is? Posted: 6/19/2009 2:40:31 AM
I am a woman of many moods. They all require chocolate. Here are some other things better than sex: A really good book Back rub Someone brushing my hair Someone complimenting me on something unexpected Hit and run hugs from the nephews and nieces Decent night out seeing a band and not getting wasted I could go on, and on and on

haidees

Joined: 4/9/2009

Msg: 31 (view)

Does the choice of one's pet say so much about the person? Posted: 6/17/2009 8:31:08 AM
I grew up with animals and always had pets. My horse died a few years back - we'd been together for 25 years. I gave up two relationships when I got the 'him or me' ultimatum, I now have 5 fishtanks and two guinea pigs. I'd have a dog or two but I'm not home often enough to satisfy their need for attention. The GPs play with each other and the fish don't care when I am or what I'm doing as long as they get fed. Up until last year I hd pet rats and blue tongue lizards. As well as a Gippsland Water Dragon. What can I say, I love herps.

haidees

Joined: 4/9/2009

Msg: 99 (view)

Compliments, being a gentlemen and other forgotton traits.. Posted: 6/16/2009 10:03:47 AM
I work on a factory floor. There are women working out the front in reception and sales, but for two years I was the only female 'out the back'. For the first couple of months every swear word was followed by an apology. It didn't matter how many times I said not to, or that I wasn't offended, it kept happening. Then one day I dropped a piece of glass and it broke. The language wasn't pretty and I think I shocked a few of the older gentlemen. After that the language got a bitless blue, but the apologies finally stopped. I have never been treated as other than a lady there. The door thing is equal opportunity. Whosoever gets to the door first opens it for everyone. First in line, gets first dibs on the microwave. I was raised with 'common courtesy' drummed into me. You know, do unto others, etc. Anyone who opens a door for me, or does some small feat of courtesy gets a sunny smile and a thank you. Unfortunately I've also copped the 'I opened the door, you owe me' garbage. I've been abused by men, and women for opening doors, holding elevators, moving out of the way on escalators. All I can do is shrug and move on. Oh, and nice guys should finish last. Its only polite. (and gets you laid more often)

Haidees

Joined: 4/9/2009

Msg: 191 (view)

Everyone Wants a Cougar Posted: 6/11/2009 8:50:29 AM
well, I just found out that a man I like is 28, so he just scrapes over the half plus seven rule. It's a bit of a shock though.

Haidees

Joined: 4/9/2009

Msg: 223 (view)

My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****) Posted: 6/11/2009 8:33:02 AM
teddy bears, yes. Seriously overweight, no. This is strictly from a physical/flexibility perspective though. The last two men I 'dated' were borderline obese and the sex was incredibly painful. I have a bad hip and it doesn't like to bend sometimes. So thinner guys are more comfortable physically for me. I prefer a man with meat to cuddle though. Which is why I prefer largeish men, but not huge.

Haidees

Joined: 4/9/2009

Msg: 35 (view)

Random compliments not a good thing? Posted: 6/11/2009 8:07:16 AM
Every now and then I get a random compliment from a total stranger. It always makes my day go a little better (except for the 'you're f**kable' comments, that's just rude) The last time I was at a music gig, a man sat down beside me, said the band were a bunch of bogans, that I smelt nice, and he had to let me know. I was a bit bemused but it was fun. I seem to get compliments from drunk guys. Usually the quiet, giggly ones. The mean drunks go after the skimpily clad bottle blondes.

Haidees

Joined: 4/9/2009

Msg: 188 (view)

Everyone Wants a Cougar Posted: 6/6/2009 12:24:39 PM
I wondered why all I seem to get are messages from 18 year olds. Creepy. I'm no one's mother. Thank goodness. My 3 dating rules: 1. No one old enough to be my father 2. No one young enough to be my spawn 3. No one I work with Everything else is negotiable.

Haidees

Joined: 4/9/2009

Msg: 108 (view)

Childless by Choice Posted: 6/6/2009 11:43:50 AM
no kids for me. 1. I'm not maternal in any way, shape or form. 2. Too many people in the world already. 3. Not passing on all the genetic crap that makes up my life. All my siblings have bad eyes, joints, and chronic illnesses. 4. We are sending the world to heck in a handbasket. Not adding to that. My parents have finally stopped asking me when I'm going to have children or get married. I told them if I had a child s/he would be dropped off at their place straight from the hospital and that the very next time I was asked about a husband I would bring a woman home and introduce her as my partner. My parents are old enough that they don't want gays in their home. Just another prejudice I don't want to pass on. For those wondering how to stop inconsiderate people from asking about children, feel free to use my response: (sad look) I can't have children. When they get all sympathetic and ask why (because they HAVE to butt in) I tell them that I hate children. That usually keeps them quiet for a while.

haidees

Joined: 4/9/2009

Msg: 35 (view)

How Important Is Musical Taste In A Relationship? Posted: 5/23/2009 11:19:52 PM
Music is very important to me. I don't play any instruments, besides my mp3 player which is an almost permanent attachment. I bought the largest capacity one I could find and my entire collection is on there. Over 10000 songs, and I keep it on random. I may be listening to Children of Bodom and the next song is ambient whale song, followed by a bit of Pearl Jam, then some Queen, Harem Scarem, Il Divo, The Clash. There are a couple of genres I'm not fond of, but I listen to almost anything, from classical to death metal and everything in between. I, personally, place a large importance on music and have it going pretty much anywhere I am. My partner would need to at least be able to tolerate constant music.

haidees

Joined: 4/9/2009

Msg: 654 (view)

Would you seriously date a woman or a man if they told you that they did not give oral sex Posted: 5/23/2009 10:02:55 PM
well, that would depend on whether my 'date' was refusing to go down on me but wanting me to go down on him. Goose and gander.

haidees

Joined: 4/9/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

The point of no return is it real? Posted: 5/23/2009 9:58:53 PM
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I've had this one pulled on me more times than I can count. And sometimes even after just a couple of kisses. Now, I'm no sex goddess so that just sounded like a sack 'o shyte to me. So, some guys just use it as a guilt trip then?

haidees

Joined: 4/9/2009

Msg: 30 (view)

Cant stant doggs.. Posted: 5/23/2009 12:31:28 AM
My sister's cat chose her husband for her. Bella (the cat) doesn't like men. My sister had a housewarming party. Her friends brought friends along. My sis went into the lounge room and Bella was sitting on this stranger's knee. Sis went over and introduced herself. They married a year later. 14 years later and 4 kids, no problems. Most animals have very good instincts. Men that treat animals, kids and older people with respect and kindness tend to be nicer people all around.

haidees

Joined: 4/9/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

Unreasonable Request? Posted: 5/22/2009 10:56:46 AM
let me get this right. She's an ex girlfriend, as in, you aren't going out with her anymore? In that case you have no rights whatsoever. And even asking that would get you a chilly response. If you were still going out with her, then asking would be wrong. She wore that dress to work and is taking her daughter with her. How is that wrong?

haidees

Joined: 4/9/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Should I just give up on him? Posted: 5/14/2009 8:01:56 PM
give up, move on. He is not contacting you. You are doing all the work. He may be not very interested but not wanting to hurt your feelings won't say so. Look elsewhere.

haidees

Joined: 4/9/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

FUN OR THE FUNNIEST FIRST DATE :) Posted: 5/7/2009 11:34:15 AM
well, would you call it a date if you didn't know you were on one? A friend of my flatmate wanted to go into Melbourne and didn't know his way around. He asked me to be tour guide. I grumpily agreed (it was my first day off in over 2 years). We went half way in his car, then transferred to public transport. He dragged me through every sporting shop in the CBD (I hate sports). It started raining lightly when we were almost at the music shop I wanted to go into and he started whining. I finally gave in and told him off. He then proceeded to dump me, and tell me that he didn't want me to be his girlfriend any more. It's funny now.

haidees

Joined: 4/9/2009

Msg: 115 (view)

Whats the problem with long hair on a guy ? Posted: 5/7/2009 11:06:36 AM
One of my favourite metal singers has hair that literally brushes the ground. He maintains it beautifully and I've never seen him without a hottie on his arm. I adore long hair on men, the longer the better. My scalp is just one big erogenous zone. The way I figure it, if I like having my hair played with, then turnaround is fair play. But long, greasy, matted hair is a complete turnoff. If you aren't going to look after it, shave it off. And some men look better by far with no hair at all. Look at Vin Diesel and Billy Zane. Although Billy looks great either way.

haidees

Joined: 4/9/2009

Msg: 159 (view)

The shaving craze Posted: 5/4/2009 7:53:49 AM
I'd wax if I was asked, no shaving for me. Razor burn and I don't mix. But since no one has asked, and I have no feelings either way, it stays as it is.

haidees

Joined: 4/9/2009

Msg: 249 (view)

Would you date a man who wore makeup? Posted: 5/4/2009 7:09:48 AM
OT on the male colouring thing though: I work with ornamental fish. And yes, mostly the male is much prettier than the female. In the fish world the female has almost all the power. The male needs to stand out and make himself visible or the female will ignore him. She will mate with the biggest, strongest, most colourful male, as he is the one most likely to have strong offspring. And when it comes to predators she's even more wily. If you are a predator, which fish are you going to eat? The drab grey one sitting still or the pretty, flamboyant one showing off in front of her? After all, the ratio of most harem breeders is one male to 6 or 7 females, so if the male dies, there is likely to be more than one female sitting on eggs to bring up more males. And there are always more males ready to take his place. And now, back to your regular programming

haidees

Joined: 4/9/2009

Msg: 234 (view)

Would you date a man who wore makeup? Posted: 5/3/2009 5:16:17 AM
:shrug: not a problem. As long as I'm still the pretty one in the relationship. Ask any teenage girl if she wouldn't bonk Zac Efron. And Jack Sparrow? Gimme some of that!

haidees

Joined: 4/9/2009

Msg: 37 (view)

When women have to kill a bug. Posted: 5/3/2009 4:27:20 AM
well, I'm another non bug killer. I have about 4 very large huntsman spiders living in my lounge room. I have NO problems with ants, wasps, redback or white tail spiders or any other kind of bug. The hunties get them for me. Any wandering huntsman that ends up in my bedroom gets removed to the lounge again. I think they have passed on that knowledge down the generations. Haven't had to move any in almost two years. hat or they have gotten better at hiding. I have ninja spiders! Anyway I like the creepy crawlies. I really want a snake but the landlord had a hissy fit. Most of my jewellery is spider/lizard/fish/snake based. Any bug that does bother me would get caught and put outside.

haidees

Joined: 4/9/2009

Msg: 332 (view)

Height/Size Contridiction? Posted: 5/3/2009 1:42:14 AM
well, I'm standing up for short guys. According to the census reports I am pretty much average for a woman in Aus. Average height, average weight, average hair and eye colour. When I stand next to a man, do I want to be nestled in his armpit? No Would I rather be nose to nose, than nose to breastbone? Yes Would I rather talk eye to eye, rather than eye to boobs? Yes (tall guys seem to focus straight down, shorter ones can't do it as easily ;) ) Intimacy is MUCH more intimate when the height differential is small. I have no problems with men who are shorter than me. None at all. Now ask me about overweight men who will only date teeny tiny women.

haidees

Joined: 4/9/2009

Msg: 39 (view)

Kevs temper tantrum Posted: 5/3/2009 1:24:59 AM
my problem would be - why the heck does he want a hot meal between Canberra and Sydney? just how long is he in the air for and why does he need to eat in tht short time? Did his mum not pack his lunch for him if he's so fussy? And just how long was the original flight? The man is a complete baby.

Haidees

Joined: 4/9/2009

Msg: 152 (view)

footfetish Posted: 4/23/2009 7:21:19 AM
most women that I know take care of their feet, always getting them pedicures, buying them expensive shoes, painting their nails. So, if you like them, why can't men? Any man that can turn up at my doorstep with foot massages in mind is welcome ;)

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