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Author
Thread: Should we stay friends?
darthmunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
23 (
view
)
Should we stay friends?
Posted:
10/23/2009 8:53:16 AM
hey ..
one thing i have learned but does not apply to every situation.
friends can be lovers. but lovers cannot be friends.
ask yourself this.
do you want to be close friends with him while he dates other girls and tells you how great they are?
do you want to sit on the side lines while he plays the game?
being his friend ...right away. may not be the best idea because that shows that you are ok with losing him, and him not wanting to be with you.
i believe that you are worth more than that.
it is normal to have feelings for someone, to care about them deeply despite being broken up.
but when you are alone. you have to make the right decisions to make yourself happy.
i understand your logic of not wanting him to get over you and at the same time you dont want him to forget you and you want him to miss you.
time apart = missing the other person
is it guaranteed? it isn't
being close to him as a friend i agree might turn you into a friends with benefits, and i dont think you want that.
my advice take some time off. you are doing the right thing so far by not contacting him but not refusing the contact.
in all honesty if its over, you should try to think that it is OVER. it will put your head in the right place to move on and make better decisions.
maybe have a heart to heart talk. but this may backfire.
take like 3 months to re-evaluate the situation because while you have feelings for him, the way you act may show it.
maybe ...maybe after some of the feelings have settled you can take a step back and decide what to do.
but for now, friends, family, other guys..not him though. but most importantly YOU.
remember its only human to want something you cannot have.
but in the end with or without him, you will be ok.
best of luck
darthmunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
26 (
view
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Still love her!
Posted:
10/6/2009 9:18:46 AM
scott you are very young, and lucky i would say to experience this now.
you have a perfect chance to start a new with someone else.
yes it hurts, i know from experience. and it hurts that she chose to be alone, but what if she chose someone else right away? there is no best way not to hurt someone else's feelings in a break up.
kudos to you for posting and venting a little, im sure other people's support will help you.
how can you get her back?
first you need to to know why you guys broke up, and if it is worth salvaging.
give yourself some time to let the emotions settle a little to get a clear head.
stop texting her. your getting your hopes up every time she answers back, hurting yourself even more in the end.
there will be others who will love you just as much and more, this i can definitely promise.
out of sight, out of mind.
darthmunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
17 (
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Totally Broken
Posted:
8/20/2009 10:26:18 PM
just remember you cant depend on others to make you happy
YOU have to make YOU happy
i feel for your loss and i hope that everything looks up from now.
darthmunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
6 (
view
)
A Little Piece of You Dying
Posted:
7/24/2009 2:22:26 PM
long distance relationships are hard. you may have felt connected that does not mean that he did. first loves are hard to get over, i know im going through it right now.
but you have to do what is best for you to be happy, once you are love will find its way to you again.
as for your ex i dont think you should think to highly of him because he took for granted the attention you wanted to give him, and the fact that sometimes he made you feel guilty about being in a relationship with him isn't good as well.
i pray that you do find someone that is willing to put as much in the relationship as you do.
you feel a part of you has died because when you break up with someone it is a lot like when someone close to you actually dies, because they are not there anymore and you grieve.
but they are right it does get easier everyday, just do things that will make you happy.
darthmunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
10 (
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)
Confused big time.
Posted:
7/22/2009 6:15:21 PM
if you guys were not in agreement to be committed, then it is possible he is not interested anymore. give it time, maybe he will call. if he doesn't make you should to get closure.
good luck. god bless
darthmunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
68 (
view
)
Staying off ex's facebook and myspace
Posted:
7/22/2009 6:13:13 PM
i wrote a note on my computer saying:
"dont do it, your only making it worse..."
darthmunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
12 (
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)
Possibly to ever get over someone you truly loved?
Posted:
7/17/2009 6:48:50 PM
hey tundra.
i heard from other people it is possible though it takes time.
2 years is a long time. so it will take some time to get over her.
good for you for not contacting her.
i pray that god will give you strength through this road in life.
its hard i know, im sorta going through the same thing, but my ex and i are "friends" or whatever you want to call it.
stay strong.
DarthMunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
8 (
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)
Anyone ever had this problem? Just cant seem to wake up inside?
Posted:
6/9/2009 10:18:44 AM
i feel somewhat the same way man. everyday without her is a strange. and its hard to think that she doesnt have the same feelings for me now even though she loved me so much from the start.
i think the wake up process might not happen overnight.
talk to her tell her how you feel get your closure.
if your hanging out as friends now, that might be unhealthy for the both of you.
more for the person who wants the other.
DarthMunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
6 (
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)
Some help me make sence of this
Posted:
5/23/2009 5:05:49 PM
josh i agree i think you can do better.
if she loved you she would have stayed with you and not messed around with other people
keep in mind she is also younger than you, the maturity level does make a difference.
she is your first love. they are hard to get over i get agree, im still getting over mine.
but she is not treating you the way you treat her.
if you dont want to be hurt like this anymore then you need to stop
tell her how you feel. be honest
im sure its something along the lines as i want to be with you but you have to stop behaving like this.
statistics prove the most people dont stay with their first love unfortunately. i dont know if this is the case but it doesnt seem that she wants ONLY you. she may be comforted knowing youll always be there, that is a great attribute and shows you how much you love her, but it may also be self destructive and she may walk all over you your entire life.
stay strong, work out so you can build your confidence, eat something because if you go hungry your metabolism will slow down and you may gain weight the next time you eat.
get drunk that might help you sleep a little.
continue to be her friend, see where is goes, but be careful about wearing your heart on your sleave.
btw is sounds like she is just breaking out of her shell and needs some growing up to do.
DarthMunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
6 (
view
)
Just freinds?
Posted:
5/23/2009 4:49:24 PM
i agree be friends with her first you never know. at least she wants to hang out with you alone right? take things slow those are the most meaningful relationships, the ones that start as friends to have a good base and then proceed to move forward. so i heard anyway
DarthMunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
17 (
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what does it mean when she says she cries herself to sleep at night
Posted:
5/13/2009 9:02:51 PM
k guys i know why she cheated on me
because i wasnt providing what she needed i was neglecting her, i was an ***hole some of the time to be honest i realize that now, i wasnt putting her needs first above my friends, my drugs and alcohol addiction; i took her for granted.
i was smoking pot and drinking everyday, which i have quit. thats what i mean when i say i have changed. because i realize i cant have those in my life if i want to be in a serious relationship
thank you *Sanscheyle* i hope your right.
if she wanted the other guy she could of had him, but she cut us both off at the same time, saying she needed space
im not dating this girl, we made out once i thought i was going to be seeing her
i just told her that because i didnt want her to hear it from someone else
i should have told her we are not seeing each other when she asked
raiderfan18 i knew you would post here. im not obsessed i just realize what i lost
again im not dating someone new. maybe your just so negative because you had your heart broken so many times? but i appreciate your honesty but i dont think you have to rude about it.
of course i feel sorry for her because i care about her, im human what do you want?
i know her best and i dont think shes like what you guys think she is. i could be wrong too.
but i do agree ill never know if i dont try.
darthmunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
1 (
view
)
what does it mean when she says she cries herself to sleep at night
Posted:
5/13/2009 4:04:27 PM
broke up with my ex 3 months ago she ended it
talked to her recently
ask me about me and another girl she thinks im dating said we were good
i asked her does she really want to know about my personal life
she said yes cause she wants to know if im happy
i asked her if she was happy, she paused and said more or less
she told me she has trouble sleeping at night because she has to cry before she can sleep
im gonna call her tonight telling her good night.
i am going to try and win her back after exams
17 roses for every month we were together, slideshow of all our pictures together "the scientist" coldplay,
a letter: "im sorry ive changed, ill never meet someone as unique and special as you, give me a second chance, etc"
yes i have posted here before and yes about the same girl.
any input is appreciated
DarthMunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
19 (
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)
should i woo her?
Posted:
5/10/2009 8:57:36 PM
to romny
yes this is true. i will admit that i took her for granted..and i wasnt meeting all her needs
which is why she broke up with me, but we got back together and i changed but i guess it was too late.
i agree in not doing this romantic gesture
but is there anyway to get her back?
DarthMunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
15 (
view
)
should i woo her?
Posted:
5/10/2009 8:15:25 AM
thanks everyone for preventing me from doing something stupid.
am trying to move on. thank you for your support and your honesty
DarthMunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
1 (
view
)
should i woo her?
Posted:
5/9/2009 9:16:33 PM
i have an ex that im still in love with
she cheated on me, only kissed the guy
and broke up with me before she did something worse which she did do but regretting it and kept calling me and eventually confessed.
but we still remained in contact while she seemed to be confused. i got my closure from her and she told me she was moving on.
she got jealous when she heard about me and another girl, and wrote on her fb that its complicated and shes complicated.
one of my friends brought to my attention maybe i should do something big and romantic
im thinking of doing it but mostly thinking it wont change a thing.
should i do it?
is it worth my while?
and what should i do?
DarthMunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
16 (
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)
He cheats on me :( It's time to go... advise?
Posted:
5/7/2009 7:56:25 PM
you know whats right for you, you just need to accept it.
I was head over heals inlove with him
key word "was"
it take alot for people to change
but i dont think he will, because your allowing him to do this to you again and again.
you cannot be in a relationship especially if this man physically abuses you.
he is not a man at all if he hits a girl, let alone the one he "loves"
he probably needs help just as much as you do.
but i think it is time to part ways
DarthMunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
2 (
view
)
A heart that won't heal
Posted:
5/7/2009 7:49:47 PM
hey man i feel your pain
you were with her for 12 years or so on and off? people say that it takes about half the time to get over that person. so yes i believe that you still have healing to do.
if she has moved on you must find the strength the move on too, im just sorry that it took so long for things to end when they probably should have when she continued to cheat on you. you need to love yourself before you love someone else.
im sure she wasnt a bad person because of all the cheating im sure she had redeeming qualities that made you come back. but still you deserve someone better who will not treat you like that, and it shows your strength of character being able to bear the pain, and be forgiving at the same time and giving her many chances, but dont have too much faith in people, we are animals too.
she can take your respect, she can take your dignity, but she cant take your freedom
your free now, sadder but im sure much more wiser. and free to have a fresh start at life
what goes around comes around. due to the fact that you have been through much pain maybe now is the time for someone special to come around and return that love you gave wholeheartedly to your ex. dont look for love itll come to you when you open yourself, so they say.
i just recently broke up with my ex she cheated on me as well but i was willing to work things out, but still no avail. so i kinda somewhat know what your are going through.
she may be confused at the time and wanted you to fall back on sorta as protection, but thats not love, you dont keep the one you love on the sidelines, you put them first
get out there hang out with your friends, be with your family, work on you.
i also have the same question why would i want to be with someone who would break my heart? i dunno know either maybe in a sick way this is love, love a selfless act to sacrifice everything. but to be in love is different both people have to be willing to be selfless to each other.
open yourself to all possibilities, find out who you really are.
dont get into a serious relationship until you know you can give your whole heart to her because it would not be fair to the other girl if your still damaged goods and wants to be with you.
the pain will be there for a long time, but time heals all wounds as cliche as that sounds its somewhat true, your still young youll change and that will also help the healing process
talking about is here and being sensible difinitely shows that you are beginning to walk the path that is right for you.
to make you feel better that your ex missed the boat, maybe she will realize this when you have moved on and are not willing to accept her again for all the things she has done to you. dont sell yourself short, dont settle unless your 100% sure she has changed
good luck and finish strong.
DarthMunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
4 (
view
)
Manipulative or Confused??
Posted:
5/5/2009 6:03:39 AM
this is a very complicated situation
he may have feelings for you but it doesnt seem that he wants to commit
that was apparent when he cheated on you
and this is the second time he cheated on you? or cheated on someone with you?
he seems like bad news to me if hes cheating on multiple people
i think maybe he doesnt want you but doesnt want anyone else to have you
which i think is really selfish
if you do see a future and your feelings are still strong, ask to talk to him and pretty much lay down what you want out of this
im assuming you want him but you dont want to get hurt. fair enough but if he does love you then he would easily comply i think he also might have some growing up to do, because it sounds like hes confused as well. it may not be his intention to manipulate you but that is the end result.
hold your head up i have a broken heart too but we both know itll heal.
DarthMunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
18 (
view
)
does my ex want me back?
Posted:
5/3/2009 5:46:33 PM
haha thanks for being so bluntly honest raiderfan
yes im sure she only kissed him though you did bring a legitimate thought to mind
whose to say that she didnt lie about that too.
yes its true people dont get married to their first loves.
i guess im just making up fairy tales stories for myself...
but still i believe people can change. i have.
DarthMunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
16 (
view
)
does my ex want me back?
Posted:
5/3/2009 3:11:00 PM
hey everyone thanks for the advice
its hard to let go because she is my first love i care about her a lot
sorry i didnt mean to be rude about the grain of salt thing but a lot of people have given me advice.
she only kissed the guy when she cheated on me but she had the common courtesy to break up with me before things could have gotten worse.
i really dont think she'll cheat again. but i dont think i want to get back with her she is too immature right now and has a lot of growing up to do and she needs to discover who she really is as well. though its hard because she is quite the attractive girl
i think i wanted her back so badly because i want what i cant have.
but also i miss having her as a friend our relationship wasnt about the sex or the intimacy cause i remember we didnt do much of that for some reason.
so i guess i really do miss her as a friend and now im hoping to maintain that friendship of course with its boundaries ie. not talking about each others personal life
i hope this update makes me look less of an asshat now
my judgement was and still is clouded by my feelings a little.
but i am getting better everyday and it gets easier everyday and coming on here ranting helps alot as well as receiving other ppls advice...
thank you wholeheartedly.
DarthMunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
18 (
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)
tell me what to do much advice needed!
Posted:
5/3/2009 3:03:17 PM
hey guys just an update to where i am at now.
im not completely over her but im slowely getting there. i am headed in the right direction
i realize now that yes i sorta miss the relationship but moreover i miss her as a friend.
being with her wasnt about the sex or the intimacy it was more about the friendship.
i realize now that she needs to grow up a lot and needs to find out who she is
she is still immature and too much for my liking. as well she is being kinda selfish as well.
and a little bit manipulative though that may not be her intention.
but im doing well i have a new way of thinking.
not entirely sure if i want to get back together with her cause im sure the same problems would still be there.
but if she did come back i would have to take careful consideration.
thank you all for the support and advice much love to all of you.
DarthMunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
8 (
view
)
Help! I can't get her out of my head
Posted:
5/1/2009 7:54:04 AM
hey man keep your head up
take care of yourself. your doing the right thing by not contacting her. she knows she can have you maybe thats why she doesnt want you. thats strange i know. but dont turn down girls that are interested in you, you might be missing out.
give yourself some time to heal and improve on yourself.
she probably still has feelings for you which is why she doesnt want you to contact her because the emotions just re emerge that she doesnt want to commit to.
you have power to, and that is not to contact her. she knows you care and she know you love her.
go to the gym get those 15 pounds back unless your overweight.
shes probably on the rebound. from what i heard those doing usually work out.
but respect her and yourself by not contacting her. shell wonder what your doing eventually even if it is to know if shes doing better than you. lame i know.
show her that you dont need her and you can stand on your own. itll get easier everyday.
maybe shell call you and if she does ask her out for lunch or something, but most importantly as friends, show her that your ok and your moving on, even if you arent but you have to. remind her why she fell in love with you in the first place, show her what shes missing out on. dont talk about the relationship unless she does and just listen.
maybe she realize that she made a mistake. im not promising anything though. but i believe these are the steps you should take if these opportunities arise.
DarthMunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
10 (
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)
How do I stop loving him????
Posted:
5/1/2009 7:04:07 AM
i dont think people should be so harsh
you are still young and have a lot to learn
you remind me of my ex who cheated only once though, and she only kissed the guy
but she had the common courtesy to break up with me before more things progressed with the other guy, she regretted it, and i told her a guy that tells you he loves you that quick only wants to get into her pants. we are still broken up its very recent i hope she comes around like you do, but i hope it doesnt happen when im seeing someone else. cause thats wouldnt be fair to me or the girl i would be dating
but i believe you realize your wrong doing, and i hope youll treat the next guy great
have respect for you ex let him be happy
he loves you too because he was willing to put up with all the things you did and still be with you, but you should have learned the first time
now he needs to have some respect for himself and realize he cant hurt someone who hasnt done anything wrong to him for someone who has hurt him so much.
and wonders will you do it again once you have him?
again be friends with him support his relationship that will show that you do love him and are not just being selfish. and if things dont work out and the timing is right
at least maybe then youll both finally be on the same page and things might happen the way you want them to.
DarthMunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
6 (
view
)
How do I stop loving him????
Posted:
4/30/2009 6:56:50 PM
hey no offense but i think you have alot of growing up to do
i dont think you love him because if you did you would commit
i think you love not being alone and the attention you get from other guys
if you want him back give him space, be his friend be supportive of his new relationship because i think you missed the boat when you kept going back and forth to different guys
also you may want what you can have and that is a bit selfish. you had him but you cheated on him. now hes moving on, you want him more than ever.
to be brutally honest he deserves better than how you treated him despite how much you may say you love him.
say sorry and begging him to come back just makes you look desperate. if you realized the mistakes youve made maybe you should leave him alone, cause im sure you wouldnt want the same treatment from him.
im sorry for how you feel right now. but i think hes making the best decision for himself.
i think the most you can do right now is hope to maintain a friendship and thats all.
if you love him, youll let him go, if you love him youll let him be happy with someone else.
good luck and take care
DarthMunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
11 (
view
)
Im trying so hard
Posted:
4/30/2009 6:48:04 PM
hey man alcohol is not an excuse
you still went through with it because it takes alot of steps to sleep with someone
it doesnt take 1 second or so.
give her some space shes really hurt
so are you probably.
begging for her back might not win her back because it might show that you are weak.
again be strong give her some space
when the hurting stops for the both of you, youll know when you can work on things again if that is possible.
by that time she can really see the change in you if you give her some more time.
there really is no excuse for cheating though.
but i wish you the best of luck
you only realize the value of something when you lose it.
i learned the hard way too.
DarthMunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
9 (
view
)
does my ex want me back?
Posted:
4/28/2009 11:23:51 PM
hey guys thanks for all the advice though i do believe this thread is getting a little out of hand lol.
i think your right and i should let her chase after me
but you know its hard to let go, especially the first love.
but you guys are right i should have more self respect for myself.
i will let her contact me which she has already done so.
i dont believe she will cheat again though i do believe that people do change but i do take your advice as a grain of salt. she seemed pretty sorry about it. (its a long story)
i am currently looking for someone more mature and some one who is not selfish.
ill let you know how everything goes because right now i have an excuse to see her every week because we have the same class
maybe things will change after i graduate maybe i will continue to keep contact with her as friends, maybe we'll get back together, or maybe i can finally move on. which i have been doing slowly. my friend says hope for the best expect the worst.
oh and the 420 thing i believe it was just an excuse to call me.
thank you for all this advice i know whatever outcome it will be probably for the best.
DarthMunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
1 (
view
)
does my ex want me back?
Posted:
4/28/2009 8:27:37 PM
my ex and i broke up 3 months ago
she broke up with me, she cheated on me but i wanted to work things out, i think she may be confused.
she called me on 420 wishing me a happy 420 well knowing i dont smoke pot anymore
neither does she. i saw on her facebook it said she will not call will not will not call on the saturday before 420 i also saw her update her status before this saying she is complicated and its complicated
the next day (i have class with her) she kept asking about me and this girl i told her about that i might be seeing (but im not now) like whether we are friends or moving towards a relationship
says shes interested in the new people in my life
i am emotionally recovered
given her, her space havent called her
have been working out improving my appearance.
now that i have her somewhat interest and some curiosity maybe
is it possible to win her back? and how?
DarthMunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
17 (
view
)
tell me what to do much advice needed!
Posted:
4/24/2009 7:14:54 AM
to lita girl.
she doesnt call me only that one time which was a lame excuse to call.
no i wouldnt want her to rip my heart out again. i believe people can change i really doubt she will cheat again but that doesnt mean that she wants to be with me.
i appreciate your response thanks
DarthMunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
15 (
view
)
tell me what to do much advice needed!
Posted:
4/23/2009 9:36:43 AM
in response to pnayplayr yeah i dont know how thats possible either
but at least she didnt tell me after she hurt me that she loved me. and i was ok with that.
and yes she did sleep with someone else but that was after we were broken up and she regretted it. thats what she told me anyway. either way i still think this girl is very confused.
DarthMunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
14 (
view
)
tell me what to do much advice needed!
Posted:
4/23/2009 9:35:13 AM
in response to helen.
i dont know women and men give me different advice. it seems like the jealousy route is working best right now for some reason. she already knows i want to be with her thats where i stand. im not sure if she still loves me last time she said it was when we were breaking up she said ill always love you, then she ended sleeping with the other guy and said she doesnt know if she loves me anymore because she keeps hurting me. last time i told her i loved her when i got my closure from her finally finding out that we werent getting back together all she said was thank you. but one of my friends said since i was her first, and her first serious relationship that love will never die. im not sure about that.
i am better emotionally now. ive talked it out and this site has been great aside from trying to meet other singles. i really do appreciate your optimistic outlook. as far as im concerned i am open to other people so is she but i dont like it when she asks me about my personal life because its none of her business which is why i dont ask about hers because i honestly dont want to know. ill only have that conversation if she brings it up i have a feel that will happen when i start seeing someone new and it begins to get serious. if that will happen anytime soon.
she must be going through alot of confusion as well. because i checked her facebook yesterday... i caved yes i did. and she said a couple of days before she called me that she is complicated and its complicated. i do want to close this chapter if necessary because i dont want to get hurt anymore but at the same time i want to leave it open for some reason probably because its hard to let go.
they always say your first love is the hardest one to let go.
DarthMunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
11 (
view
)
tell me what to do much advice needed!
Posted:
4/22/2009 8:49:37 PM
in response to pnayplayr.
yes i would be happy but obviously i would have to know what has changed in her for her to want to come back to me. so ill definitely have my guard up if that happens im not making the same mistakes again. yes she did make me a better person and yes she did inspire me.
she taught me alot of skills which i will not get into because its a long list, and yes she inspired me to write more, play more music, made me understand what real family is, and rekindled my faith in god.
again i will have my guard up if the chance arises. love is a selfless act i know that now. but i need to be a little bit selfish right now and think about me and taking care of myself.
DarthMunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
10 (
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)
tell me what to do much advice needed!
Posted:
4/22/2009 8:44:57 PM
in response to justbunky
thanks ill do the best i can i am taking those steps but yes i can let go with time.
and yes she does seem very indecisive and immature i hope she grows up soon. she has treated me badly yes. but she also treated me like no other has before. i understand what you are saying. and im definitely not putting her on a pedestal anymore im putting myself there.
DarthMunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
7 (
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)
tell me what to do much advice needed!
Posted:
4/22/2009 10:02:31 AM
in response to maria
i think she is also confused a little she is alot younger than i am. and i was her first sexual relationship. i also agree with the trust factor she has to earn it. she knows what i want but it isnt cool how it bugs her about me seeing other people because i really am ok with her seeing other people if she volunteers the info other wise i just dont ask.
DarthMunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
6 (
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)
tell me what to do much advice needed!
Posted:
4/22/2009 9:59:44 AM
the ball is in her court but i know it bothers her knowing that im open to the fact of seeing other people. i do want her back but not out of jealousy. and no i dont want to be her back up plan because im worth more than that. i wouldnt do that to her. she knows where i stand but i am moving on its get easier everyday. this is still really recent so ill just have to ride it out and see what happens. if she comes around she'll have to prove it to me enough for me to take her back. we have school together and class but after i graduate we'll see what happens i do believe in 2nd chances but not a million. if we do get back together because this is the first "real" break up we'll see what happens because im just growing a bit bitter and i will eventually end up hating her if she screws things up again.
DarthMunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
39 (
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)
I need honest advice, why did my ex-girlfriend do this?
Posted:
4/22/2009 9:50:22 AM
dont call her
dont look at her facebook trust me it makes it easier
im sure shes thinking about you. i mean 4 years is a long time. but that not what you want to hear
you care about her i understand but really look how she is acting towards you. she is moving on and she cared enough about you not to cheat on you. maybe you should move on too
valentines day is just a commericial day youll realize that later on.
life is worth living dont do anything stupid
it hurts now but it gets better with time just try not to live in the past. and stop giving yourself what if scenarios. you can drink but do it in the company of friends and dont drink to drown your sorrows away because they will come rushing back. again time is the best healing treatment even if scars are still there.
if you want her back
you need to show that you are strong, need to show that you are fine alone, and that you can move on. you also need to show or pretend that your ok with what shes doing. act like you dont care. but dont be an ***hole.
dont wear your heart on your sleeve.
i promise you this 2 things can happen from this situation either you guys get back together or youll meet another girl who you will love just as much or more than her.
stay strong. death is not an option because youll be missing out.
DarthMunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
3 (
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tell me what to do much advice needed!
Posted:
4/22/2009 8:19:44 AM
thanks alot i appreciate your response but remember she broke up with me. so it'll have to be up to her whether we get back or not. all i know is that the thought of me seeing other girls is driving her a little bit insane. the break up is still fresh its been about 3 months or less since we completely stopped seeing each other. im just gonna take my friends advice whose a girl, and enjoy the ride. maybe when as time passes new things will develop and ill be able to make a better decision but until then im still going to meet new people.
thanks again.
DarthMunkey
Joined:
4/13/2009
Msg:
1 (
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)
tell me what to do much advice needed!
Posted:
4/22/2009 7:30:00 AM
I dated my ex for a year and a half. We were rocky for the last 4 months or so. We had broken up 3-4 times. There was another guy involved who she cheated on me with. She only kissed him, but I was willing to work through it. She broke up with me in fear that she was going to continue hurting me, she told me that she will always love me and kissed me goodbye. She called me later that week saying that she missed me but she was seeing this other guy that she cheated on me with and that he tells her that he loves her. I told her to be careful, guys that will tell you that they love you that fast only want to sleep with you. She confessed to me later that she did sleep with him; I went to grab my stuff from her place as I was doing this I didn’t even want to look at her. But she tried to stop me and said what are you doing I thought you wanted to get back together. I said I do but clearly you don’t so WTF. I told her I didn’t mean shit to her because she was willing to jump on top of the next guy that quickly. She told me that she felt like shit for doing so.
I told her I was still willing to work things out with her if she was, she said she wasn’t sure that she 50/50, wanted to date this other dude other half wanted to fix things with me. She didn’t really give me any closure so I had to ask her like 2 months down the road. I asked her if she was moving on she started to cry and nodded and I asked is there anything I can do or say to change her mind? She shook her head and said I really appreciate the time we spent together though. I told her I was sorry I couldn’t provide whatever she needed in the relationship, and that I’ve changed. She said she has too. And I told her I just wanted to let you know that I love you. I asked her if she was seeing anyone said she said no but she was spending a lot of time with this new guy who is outside all of this. Who I think is a douche bag because he’s telling her she needs space, which she does, but not from him. The other guy she cheated on me with told her he knows who she wants to be and grow into blah blah. So as far as I’m concerned she seems like she’s easily influenced but I never told her what to do I always let her make her own choices when we were together. I told her I wanted to be honest with her and that I was sort of seeing someone else as well this girl that I ended up making out with. She told me she was glad and happy for me. I said I guess I was too.
I wore my heart on my sleeve for this girl because it was my first serious relationship and hers too, I would assume. She was the first girl that I told that I loved and I was the first guy she slept with. I fought hard to keep her by my side but I only pushed her away more.
Most recently I don’t look at her facebook (cause it drive me nuts) but a couple of days ago on my mini feed it said she will not call she will not call she will not call. Monday she called me wishing me a happy 420 even though she knows I don’t smoke pot anymore neither does she. To me that was just a lame excuse to call but still I was friendly. I saw her the next day at school because we have the same class together (awkward). And she kept asking me about my personal life and whether me and this girl who I made out with and eventually sleeping with if we were friends or if we were in a relationship. I didn’t tell her anything because there was nothing to tell and I wasn’t going to tell her I slept with her because that is none of her business it was pretty much a one night stand anyway. She asked me does it make me feel uncomfortable her asking me about and the other girl. I said no I just don’t have anything to report and she said she asking because she’s interested in the new people in my life.
Other girls are telling me she’s jealous and feels possessive even though she might not say so. Also that she doesn’t want to be with me but she doesn’t want me to be with anyone else, which I think is extremely selfish. My friend told me she still probably very sad about this because she messed up really bad, and probably cries herself to sleep. I disagreed but she said she knows so because she’s a girl and predicted that she would call me and keep asking me about my personal life once I was starting to move on. She also told me I have the upper hand now, which I don’t know what that means.
I want to win her back some how but I am ready move to something new. I have a gut feeling that as soon as I get serious with another girl she’s going to come back into my life saying she wants me back. I wouldn’t know what to do at this point because if that does happen that just shows that she can walk all over me my entire life and get whatever she wants. There would be no point in us dating again because it wouldn’t lead to anywhere unless she knows I’m the one (I believe that she is for me). I’m still contemplating whether she is a good girl or are all women the same (sorry ladies) I’m losing faith because I really still believe she is a good girl, maybe just confused, but look what she has done. Keep in mind she is 21 I’m 25 I thought age didn’t make a difference but I believe it does.
Thanks for listening I know this was a long one. All I know now is that she interested very much so in my personal life I don’t ask her about hers. Is there some way to get her back without using the jealousy route of me meeting someone else? Or should I just do what they say and open the palms of my hands and let her go which I have slowly been doing?
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