She likes me ... but how to do it ?? chat & forums.

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monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

She likes me ... but how to do it ?? Posted: 11/12/2009 3:14:08 PM
Ask the librarian to send her over a copy of a book that says 'how to ask a girl out when you are too shy to approach her' LOL it would be like sending a drink in the bar and you are bound to get an answer

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 21 (view)

Two dates, no kiss, mixed signals, time to worry? Posted: 10/25/2009 4:26:35 AM
I say she is into you. Personally I wouldn't go out of my way to hug someone in front of a friend unless I wanted him to know I had a great time and enjoyed being with him. I also wouldn't keep texting a guy saying I had a great time if I didn't want him to ask again. Taking it even further I would have used the 'friend' as an excuse to break away if I had no interest...I only ask a guy along to meet my friends if I wanted him to be accepted by them. Good luck to you!

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 30 (view)

What is the Worst Thing You Experienced after a Long Term Breakup? Posted: 10/12/2009 7:19:27 AM
The worst thing is the self doubt of whether it was me causing these relationships to fail and wondering after each one if it was going to be my last or if this was the best it gets. The best is the freedom to do what I want without anyone judging me.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 51 (view)

Her busy Schedule Posted: 10/12/2009 7:12:30 AM
It's a hard call for some..many have no choice but to work extra to be able to put their kids in sports etc (which is also as important as paying bills and keeping a good home). Being a good parent takes up time and is always going to a first priority. Good friends are also important..they are always there for you, so I am not going to duck on a friend to see a guy I may or may not see again..for a SO yes but even then a relationship won't rule my friendships. I think it works both ways, if the other is really busy the person asking them out should also be understanding or I think that they aren't that interested either. After all if they can't understand I have a life and kids now they sure won't after they get to know me either.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 38 (view)

New Term? TWIT which is supposed to mean Thirty something Women In their Teens Posted: 10/3/2009 4:54:55 AM
IDK, women are in their prime in their thirties and the ones I knew back then looked damn good. I had more fun in my thirties than any other time of my life. Everyone always has a name for every generation but it makes little difference to me, I say enjoy it while its there. I would hate to be one of those people who stay at home just because its what is expected. A younger guy might think a girl in her thirties is a TWIT or a Couger but I know it didn't stop me or my friends from having the time of our lives and I sure don't remember anyone looking down on us for it.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

How do you get over someone who is wrong for you? Posted: 9/23/2009 4:18:59 AM
I had that happen before and I knew he was all wrong for me too. What I did was focus on the things that drove me nuts or repelled me and blew them out of proportion. It worked great..mind you I will always think fondly of him and he will always hold a spot in my heart but it allowed me to move on.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 36 (view)

Impersonal feelings Posted: 9/21/2009 5:24:14 AM
Let's look at this a bit differently. What if 'these' people desire real love but just haven't found that one special person? What if this desire leads them to continually attach themselves to this feeling in the hopes of discovering their one true love. What if this person really is crushed after each one fails, crying at night so no one sees until they have it out of their systems and go out to try again? I think it is rash to say this is unnatural as you can never really know what drives them. Very often I wonder how it is that people so easily seem to find and stay with the person of their dreams while others struggle to find that special connection with someone. Maybe some people just know exactly what they want in a mate. This is not to say these people don't crave human connection in the meantime or put out full effort with each new relationship to try and achieve this feeling. I actually find these people to be quite optimistic, picking themselves up time and again and still risking the hurt to keep looking. I might even go so far as to say I find many of these people to be stronger in character as they suffer hurt many more times over than those who find someone and settle in more quickly. There is a good chance that these people do feel more deeply and do have more trouble trusting after each failed attempt having put themselves out there time and again. They also would have to get use to living independently and bear the loneliness of their choices. Everyone needs to feel love in some way even if its only temporary. I see no harm in this unless the person is heartless in which case we would be talking about a different scenario than someone who puts their all into it each time.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Hmmmm...what do you think? Posted: 9/20/2009 5:51:13 AM
I have to agree on two points. Don't be over zealous. Women tend to do that and end up saying or doing something to scare the guy off. However, I do think you should talk to him about it. Let him know point blank that you are interested in more and want to know if he is so you can get a mind set on how to continue. There are guys out there who take their time and some who do worry that sex may change things. I think that this is real especially for guys who are more settled down (older). Plan a nice dinner and talk openly about it.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

Shy, Disinterested, or Boring? Posted: 9/20/2009 5:41:03 AM
I wouldn't read too much into it. When I was younger .. and sometimes even now I tend to be the same, quiet, shy, awkward when I am with someone I like. It was usually only when I was with someone I was interested in as I got older. Now I am more social but still tongue tied or awkward when I am with someone who really catches my interest. Body language says a lot so keep an eye on it...see how she looks at you. I would still rather sit back and watch/listen to other people. The more comfortable I get the more verbal I become. The thing with shyness is that the person fears making a fool of themselves and sometimes relies on the other person to take the lead so they know exactly what to expect. Good luck!

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 18 (view)

I demand everybody here to SMILE Posted: 7/12/2009 6:06:07 AM
A positive thread! Way to go!

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 61 (view)

Harrassed males Posted: 7/12/2009 5:56:22 AM
Idk, I've seen the attacks go both ways on here. I've only ever got one that was distasteful and that was when I first started here. Personally I think its a waste of time to slam people for no good reason, makes for dull reading. It's much nicer to come on and see humor instead of hate. Oh, and btw, I killed 5 spiders the other day!! I knew something was tickling my arm while I slept..hope I didn't end up eating any of them. Euchhh!

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 45 (view)

She asked for money at the end of the date! Posted: 7/10/2009 4:57:49 AM
Lmao your profile says that for a first date you want to go to a museum or something and end up doing something totally unexpected ... was this unexpected enough for you?? Haha I guess it was that wad of money you showed on there that gave her ideas...now that we've talked, can I have a loan?

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

Is this a good first date Idea? Posted: 7/7/2009 5:19:10 AM
Nah, I wouldn't like that very much. As one poster said, I hang out there enough as it is..would be different if we were going to pick out food for a bbq, or a meal cooked at your place.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 64 (view)

Fell in LOVE TOO FAST - now peddling backwards? Posted: 7/4/2009 3:36:17 AM
Hi there..to me it just sounds like she is afraid of any kind of pressure. You said her ex was controlling?, well this is one of the side effects of that. She was content and happy until you started asking for definites and then her ex's shadow fell over her. A control freak usually spends a lot of time making demands and ensuring that she is seeing, living, breathing only them. Men like this suck the life out of a girl (there are many women like this too) and take away their individuality which she is probably still trying to regain. Just relax and take things as they are. She knows its a relationship, you know it is so don't try so hard to define it.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Is this a myth? Posted: 7/3/2009 4:56:53 AM
Oh ya that has happened...too many times lol Friends are great in their opinions and being devil's advocate for you but you have to know when to draw the line. When I was younger I would often listen to them but then I came to realize that my friends would never do the same. When they get a bf they seem to disappear from view and all of a sudden they have no time to see me or hang out. Now I am older and I realize that neither of those extremes are good. Once in a relationship (serious one) your SO should come first but you should also make time to keep your connections to your friends. I still have friends that disappear but I also have friends who regularly plan nights out for the girls or socials for both spouses. It's a nice combination.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 28 (view)

What Would You Do? Posted: 7/2/2009 5:14:26 AM
Really depends on the person and how she feels after the relationship. After my first marriage failed I met a guy and had a good three yr relationship with him. After my second marriage failed I dated a couple guys who really never stood a chance cause I wasn't ready. I appreciated them and the dates but knew there was not anything long term coming from them.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

Not sure she was that into me Posted: 7/2/2009 5:09:39 AM
I would have to guess not into you but on the other side of things I always keep things short and sweet the first time out so saying she had plans could mean nothing. She agreed to meet you but that doesn't mean that she intended to block off the whole night. I have squeezed in a meet knowing I had things to do later on and said so in the beginning..had nothing to do with the meet or me ditching the person.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 65 (view)

Hey do ya personally know any happily married people in real life? Posted: 7/1/2009 4:17:44 AM
Yes I have seen happily married couples but not nearly enough. For the most part I see couples divorce or simply weathering the storm and settling, or staying together because they are old fashioned about marriage and divorce. My parents stayed together 38 yrs before he died and my mother is devastated. They had many rough patches but neither wanted to be anywhere else. Now I have a couple of friends who truly are happy in their relationships/marriages and I admire the hell out of them. There are a couple more friends that I would say are doing 'okay' but don't seem 'happy' like the two mentioned above. The truly happy seem to be a minority to me, which is very sad. I try to be around those who are secure in their values and happiness...who knows maybe one day I'll discover the key!!!

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

Do you have staying power? Posted: 7/1/2009 4:07:37 AM
I would have to say that my son and his gf have way more staying power than me...at such young ages they have weathered way more than I would have to stay together. From day one they have had one obstacle after another and not just little ones but yet they always manage to work it out. Both my marriages ended and I can honestly say that I did everything I could and did not leave until I saw both effect my kids in a negative way. Both times my children were the deciding factor. I can put up with a lot but I have no tolerance when it comes to my children.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

Poll Posted: 7/1/2009 3:47:29 AM
No facial hair preferably but I don't mind the shadow effect.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

need female input Posted: 6/30/2009 10:41:17 AM
21 and never been kissed...that must change Take the never dated thing off your profile, accept the first three women who approach you and for god's sake don't settle down before you even get to explore. No one needs to know you are a newbie to the dating scene..oh, and make sure you give at least one of the first three a kiss goodnight!

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Not interested? Posted: 6/30/2009 4:44:27 AM
I would have to agree. If they are only saying enough to answer you then they are being polite. If a girl has an interest in you they will ask you things or at least make conversation.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 20 (view)

a blast from the past!...any similar experiences? Posted: 6/30/2009 4:19:59 AM
God this reminds me of those Oprah shows where people prance around to show how hot they are now and rub it into the faces of people who hurt them. Speaking of which, did you do something in school that hurt her specifically? or was it just that she saw you or your behaviour from a distance? I only ask for the purpose of trying to figure out her motives here. If you had gone out of your way to hurt her in the past then I don't find this surprising, but if you hadn't then I wonder why she would throw it up in your face.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 94 (view)

When your man checks out other girls Posted: 6/30/2009 4:06:07 AM
While I do think its ok for a man to look I also think it is rude if he is constantly ogling with no regards for the woman he is with. If it upsets her so much then he should be willing to tone it down for her sake. I am sure he is not stuck to her side 24/7 so he has lots of time to ogle on his own without making her feel bad every time they go out. I will often do as one poster said though and look along with my SO at pretty girls/men. It takes some of the pressure off and I can appreciate beauty as much as anyone. Make comments on her appearance/hair/clothing and let him know that you are paying attention too.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 33 (view)

Too Busy With Work and Kids To Date.... Posted: 6/29/2009 1:09:49 PM
I often take myself off the market depending on what is going on in my life with my family. They are my priority. I also take myself off the market if I don't feel like I am good company for the moment.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

how to attract a man??? Posted: 6/29/2009 1:04:10 PM
I would just say put yourself out there where people are. Make new friends, they usually end up introducing you to many new men. Make eye contact when out in public and smile when you see a guy you like. Talk to people while standing in line or hit a public place on a weekly basis so people get to know you. Increasing your social circles will inevitably allow you to meet guys.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

Meet me here but get your own directions Posted: 6/29/2009 12:53:36 PM
I would definitely find that response rude and would have canceled the date right then.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 23 (view)

Feeling bad Posted: 6/29/2009 12:39:56 PM
It sounds like the date went fine but then again we are only hearing the short version. Not to offend you but there may have been a point that she decided through the date that it wasn't going to work but because she was on your bike and obviously away from home she may not have answered or left you clues because she had to rely on you to get home. Once she got home her reactions clearly changed. Maybe something spooked her on the second date..not sure why her reaction changed so quickly. There are bound to be more women though that are better suited to you on here, for whatever reason.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 16 (view)

The financial burden associated with filling the Ex,s Shoes... Posted: 6/29/2009 5:05:27 AM
You do have your own children to consider but look at it this way..you have used your children and your own financial situation to assess HER. Your experience has led you to ask HER finances and base a decision on that. If you are allowed to assess a future relationship based on information YOU gathered from HER then she should be allowed to do the same, no? My moto is, 'if you can't make my life better then please do not come into it'. This does not mean financially .. well in a way yes cause as I've said I want someone who can contribute and carry his own weight, but more so in ways that I don't feel like I am more stressed with you there, that I want to smile more with you there, that we can possibly go more places and do more things together as a team, and I definitely don't want to feel like I am raising another child.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

The financial burden associated with filling the Ex,s Shoes... Posted: 6/29/2009 4:44:57 AM
Not everyone who is single with three kids is on social assistance OP. Not to mention that just because they have children doesn't mean the father pays support. I do have three kids yes, and a very respectable job. There have been many times that I have worked up to three jobs to provide for my children (as I am one of those lucky people who does not receive support). On my own I have managed to own a house and fill it with all necessary furniture and love..I have always managed to finance my children in sports and school events/clothing so they never feel underprivileged. In reality things are very tight for me as I am currently working just one job and yet, I have never asked a man to support me. I have been married twice and twice I thought I was making the right choice and twice I watched as the men I married destroyed my credit, sold off stuff in my home and racked up debt. Twice I have started over picking up the pieces and am damn proud of that. My last husband I even paid off the majority of his debts before asking him to leave because I wanted to be fair to him (it was undeserved). This amounted to thousands and thousands more later when I had to repair the financial damaged done while I was married. Now my second husband worked, had a good job in fact yet there I was paying his way. It is not just women OP, men have the same afflictions as we do. Women also want to protect what is theirs as much as men do. For every woe is me story you have pertaining to women I can guarantee we have just as many.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

single mom and the sex talk..... Posted: 6/29/2009 4:33:54 AM
LOL ahhh, I remember this talk well with my oldest. I also remember my sister in law helping me clean his room and reaching under his bed to come out with a handful of kleenex and proceed to start screaming...hahahaha I simply told my son that the best way to do this unnoticed is in the shower. He proceeded from there showering CONSTANTLY while I noticed my supply of Vaseline go down. Of course I also informed him of safe sex and the use of condoms and where to get them for free (he is now 21 with two kids..go figure!). I also told him he could talk to me about anything sex wise, which I sometimes regret as he thought this meant he could go into great detail with me of his sexual exploits..YUCK! From there I set guidelines LOL It is natural that they seek other information on their own and inevitable that they will look on the internet or from friends. You can't control this, just keep the communication open in an easy light way. You also can't control if they decide to not take your advice as in the case of my son, just guide them through their choices in whatever way you can.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

The financial burden associated with filling the Ex,s Shoes... Posted: 6/29/2009 4:25:22 AM
What a loaded question! First off much like yourself OP I have earned everything I have on my own. I don't ask people for anything if I can help it (my mother can attest to this cause I will seldom ever ask her for help and she is my own mother). If I ask you about your job it is probably because I am interested but on the other hand I want to ensure that I am not getting involved with a freeloader as I can't afford to carry someone's weight. We are also concerned about losing what we have earned over the years, not just you men. Plus we have the added burden of ensuring the security of our kids which we might risk if we are not careful on who we choose. Now if I become involved to the point of talking about living together then you are damn straight I expect the guy to pay his share and it has nothing at all to do with his job...he could be a janitor or a doctor, I don't care as long as he is hard working and willing to accept his share of the bills. If it proceeds from there and he wants to get married then he is going to have to accept that with that comes my children and their future expenses..you want to step into a father role for the rest of your life then the expectation is there that you are willing to help provide for the entire family.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 38 (view)

Young and having to deal with a tough decision... Posted: 6/28/2009 5:03:11 AM
I agree with the poster who said she should proceed as a single mom without Mark. Tell her to take him out of the equation so she can think clearer. Focus her mind on the baby and accessing whatever resources possible and getting herself financially and independently secure. This alone will boost her self esteem and drag her out of her depression. Do some fun things with her to prepare for the baby..a baby shower would be great as suggested. We don't know much about her so suggesting she put the baby up for adoption is a bit premature. For all we know she is awesome when she in at her 'top game' both as a supporter and person...assuming she will be a bad parent based on a few paragraphs is jumping the gun. What this girl needs is to cut the guy loose and don't count on him for anything..ANYTHING and take some affirmative action to ensure her and her baby's future. Show her some positives and make her remember the good in life. Block the guy off facebook and where ever else so he can't mess with her head. You seem like a concerned friend who is looking to help so take her by the hand and make a list of places she can access...parenting classes to introduce her to new friends (they also set you up with many free resources), counsellors, social assistance anything that makes her feel as though she has achieved something. If she is depressed stand over her and push her out the door to get exercise and fresh air..take her garage saling to find baby items. Never easy but always worth it in the end...good luck to you both!

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

Breastfeeding Question Posted: 6/28/2009 4:42:16 AM
Breast feeding for the first time can be frustrating. Many new moms can't get the baby to latch on properly leading to problems feeding and a very sore boob! The first 5 mins is when they get the most from each boob so I believe they say ten mins on each side to make sure the baby is fully satisfied. Don't be afraid to use your fingers to flatten the nipple out and shove it right in, hold the baby firm until you feel a good latch. Sometimes the way the nurses tell you to hold the baby just doesn't work so find your own way..use pillows to prop if you need to. Giving the bottle once a day should not cause too many problems although I would think it is best to give it at night so the baby is sure to have a full tummy thereby allowing him/her to sleep better. It is easier for a baby to drink from a bottle but many women do both without it interfering. Most babies still will look to the mom for comfort. Also, make sure you have a snack and a drink of something beside you while you nurse. The baby takes a lot from you and you should always have something there while you nurse...it does help. If you are having lots of problems nursing call in a parenting guide. There are lots of agencies that cater to new mom's and will send someone in to help you get on track..my daughter in law enlisted them for herself and they were wonderful, even went out of their way to find her furniture and other things she needed (for free), as well as help her with nursing etc.. Good luck and congratulations! Hope this helped.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Can i be with my family Posted: 6/27/2009 4:53:04 AM
Keep doing what you are doing. It takes time to prove that you are in it for the long haul. If you bail now it will show her she was right. She is being cautious taking it slow, too many people rush into things these days. You had a great time and I would suggest that if you want more of these you play by her rules and be patient.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 20 (view)

Is trust dead? Posted: 6/25/2009 3:50:12 AM
Bad experiences only lead to trust issues if the person feels that they can't trust themselves or their own judgment. I like this quote. A person who has been burned, especially over a long time or repeatedly probably become conditioned and therefore probably do not trust their own judgment. Or they find that they become much too fine tuned to it and that warning bells are going off at the first white lie or skeptical event. Some of course run when they can't find anything because the fear of dealing with someone who is honest and upfront is terrifying as they are the ones who could hurt you most if and when they betray you. Of course these are inner things that need to be dealt with but many don't even know its there at first or what to change. Self introspection is not an easy thing and even when you do identify your own problem its not so easy to restructure yourself. My moto on this has always been 'I trust you till I don't'

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 65 (view)

Is she being UNAPPRECIATIVE? or is it me? Posted: 6/23/2009 4:27:34 AM
As someone already said (lots of great feedback btw) don't stop completely. I am pretty reserved in that department and although I love those sweet gestures it means more to me when they come in smaller doses. For me too much is like they are following a play book on romance and I shy away quick. A tender look, actions and the occasional true compliment goes a long way. I agree that a gift or gesture on your part should be just that without the expectation of a return. There have surely been times that she has shown you appreciation by her actions or has said something to compliment you. Take it for what it is. She may show it more by rearranging her time so she can be with you or make you supper or give you a massage, some are just less flamboyant in how they do it. You seem like a sweet guy who is willing to put out the effort and you shouldn't lose that just be aware that people are different in how they express themselves.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 66 (view)

Stumbling upon unfortunate news... Posted: 6/22/2009 4:54:37 AM
You should tell her. Even if she knew she would have trusted the person and if she didn't then she has a right to know even more.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

Call or not call? Posted: 6/22/2009 4:48:41 AM
As soon as I hear 'We'll keep in touch' I take that as goodbye.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 18 (view)

If i am to young to be a cougar what am I? Posted: 6/22/2009 4:44:54 AM
You should be flattered, no matter what the name young guys still find you attractive. MILF if what I hear, especially on forums but the younger guys who hit on me in person just say 'you're hot' LOL

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

How long have you been single??? Whats the longest? Posted: 6/22/2009 4:02:41 AM
I have been single most of my life. Three relationships (two of those marriages) for a total of 9yrs. Since I am 43 now I guess that means I have been single 34 yrs total.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

I think I messed it up. Posted: 6/22/2009 3:57:09 AM
Well she is still around so that is a plus for you. Flirt with her, make your intentions known, step it up a notch. She obviously likes your company now you just need some confidence in yourself.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 35 (view)

He's Just Not that Into You Question Posted: 6/21/2009 5:13:09 AM
I just watched that movie last night and found the ending to be the best when they dissected everything in the movie. The exceptions happen more often than they all thought based on their willingness to allow it to happen. The rules were more for those who avoid allowing the exceptions or putting themselves out there. Even the girl whose marriage failed could acknowledge that sometimes happiness comes from moving on...alone. Some people need that alone time to rediscover who they are and taking pride in their own achievements. It was entertaining but it did give me something to think about.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

How clueless was I ? Posted: 6/21/2009 5:05:32 AM
Next time why don't you just ask her how long she and your friend have been together? If she is interested in you then she will surely let you know.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 25 (view)

Helper Sometimes Needs Help Posted: 6/21/2009 4:58:14 AM
Stray cat had a point, being kind is good but being naive while being kind is another. This lesson I have learned the hard way. I am always kind to people but kind people do get taken advantage of by those not so kind. I am still kind and offer whatever help I can but I am a little more aware and have learned to say no to people who would abuse such kindness. Enabling someone also is something I avoid. Sometimes their pleading can seem sincere and make you want to waver but I try not to ie. my son calls all the time for money saying he is out of food for the kids so instead of giving the money I buy the groceries. I do disagree with the post on unconditional love doesn't exist. Would you love your family any less or your children if they didn't conform to your rules or those of society? If your child went to jail do you stop loving them? The love here is unconditional....how you deal with their behaviour is conditional. If I love a person/spouse my love for them is unconditional, if I have a problem with something in the relationship it is a behaviour/external issue that I don't like. Mind you a person can destroy your love for them (and I am not talking about kids or family here although in extreme cases yes). People do fall out of love with a spouse and unconditional love is harder to grab hold of these days but a spouse hasn't been there since day one. Sadly it seems that people are no longer willing to simply accept love and it is hard to love unconditionally unless that is being reciprocated.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Could use a little advice! Posted: 6/20/2009 5:19:29 AM
It does get complicated if you are living next door and it doesn't work out. I have tried that before. If it goes great then the proximity is nice but it is much harder to keep boundaries and give each other space when you can't walk outside or look out the window without seeing them. The guy I dated got hurt when I didn't want to hang out because I just needed some alone time. Not to say it can't work, just that its a bit more complicated.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 31 (view)

How Many is TOO Many??? Posted: 6/20/2009 5:05:42 AM
Omg, same guy I just posted about had 5 cats! I should have known then lol He was very nice don't get me wrong but my god!! These cats were his life and he wanted more. One time we went out and on our way out of the restaurant he saw a poster for fostering cats and made me stop to look while he rubbed his hand on the poster and said 'awwwww!!' and proceeded to have a lengthy convo on cats...again! He had one poor cat who had a stroke and was dying, first time she acted like she was dizzy all the time. After another stroke she could not walk without her head against the wall. He flipped when I said it should be put down...threw an actual hissy fit. I said it was only humane, anyway after a few days it could only slide on one paw and kept finding a place to hide and die. He would literally rip the place apart to find it, drag it out and stuff food and meds down its throat...at least 5 times before it finally died. Then he put it in a box and slept with it in his room beside him!!! One night only mind you but still...ewwww! Another week in a box outside where he would go see it every day before finally disposing of it. I love animals but that was too much for me. He grieved for weeks, openly crying. I love animals but I thought that was mean and selfish to keep it alive. We finally agreed that it wasn't working and that we would never agree on the animal thing.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 48 (view)

horror movies = red flag? Posted: 6/20/2009 4:45:15 AM
I also prefer action/horror/thriller over chick flicks. I watch the occasional romance too but its the others that draw me in first.

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Ladies do non matirialistic men have hope? Posted: 6/19/2009 3:49:39 AM
Sure there is. I couldn't be bothered how much you make (well I don't want you broke either). Self sufficient is good but I like a man who does a honest days work and knows how to make the most of his home life too. I don't need a guy to shower me with gifts and compliments, its much more important to me to have someone here who is honest, hard working, loving..someone I could believe in!

monarchmom

Joined: 4/13/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

what to do . Posted: 6/14/2009 5:23:14 AM
I think the fact that you need to ask shows that you already know what your priority should be. She is your daughter, you have been given a second chance to make good for her and ensure that her standard of living is how it should be. Is the mother going to be too sick to properly care for her child? Sounds like there is a good chance of that happening. She is not in love with you but has ditched her own pride to ask you for help because its in the best interest of her daughter. Your daughter. Even if you don't move in then you should be there to help and pay support. She has never asked you for help before. Are you really going to be able to live with yourself if you do not stay to ensure your daughter's well being?

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