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 Author Thread: Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 438 (view)
 
Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 11/15/2009 9:10:18 AM

It really isn't out of line for men not wanting to date single mothers....what is OUT OF LINE is this whole thread!
It is OUT OF LINE for men to post demeaning and insulting lists of the reasons why some men won't date Single Mother's!!
Everyone does have a right to their own preference when dating.....but this thread isn't about preference...it's about perpetuating a stigma of Single Women who have children and how some men view them.
The anomosity from women on this thread come from the complete lack of respect that some men display with their comments in order to get an ego boost...


Once again it becomes a one way street.

Seems the single father got bashed in this comment, so single mom;s are awesome, single fathers are a-holes. Is only one a stereotype, the other the truth?:

Allow me to point to all the single fathers who have built unrealistic family settings around their bratty children who demand their attention.
As well to all the single fathers who do NOT have their kids 24/7 like us mothers do.. must be nice to have that much free time to give and take personal attention. Oh how we wish.


Now this is what I call a good comment, maybe everyone, not just single parents, everyone should take this advice:

Maybe, everyone just needs to ask more questions before you get involved with someone. I know there are more good single Dads and Moms out there than you think.


Here is a perfect acceptable reason to not date a guy who does not have kids. Seems ok for women with kids to stereotype men with no kids. Or is this again just the "truth"?:

dont seem to have a problem with men wanting to date me, I just have a problem with dating men, esp... those that dont have children.Guess with all the crazy peeps around now adays i just really want to protect what i have,and whats crazy now is that i work at my kids daycare and i do see alot of moms that just dont seem to care.



All in all it has become standard acceptance in dating for women to assume and stereotype men and be ok with it. Because they say it is from past experiences. BUT men on the otherhand, have no excuse to assume or stereotype women because that is the laws of dating.
Women should bash men for being 40 and no kids, so they should say they are this and that to not date him.
Men who say anything negative things about single moms shoudl never do that and have no right to.
No idea why it is always a one way street but I do not see it changing anytime soon.

 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 421 (view)
 
How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 11/15/2009 8:53:11 AM

Well, in my experiences...people (men) who live at home into their late twenties and on, do not know how to boil water.
A friend of mine lives with a man who lived at home into his 40's. Yes, he financially secure, and paid for their home outright. BUT, he is so incredibly lazy, from dishes, laundry and cleaning. Way too high maintenance, and NEVER on time. Sad really.
Not only that, he lacks people skills and common sense as a result.
Living on your own makes you grow as a person, and how to care for yourself and others. Just my thought, but i moved out at 18, so I only know, what i know.


I guess this is a fair view. Again though women tend to frown upon men who live with thier parent(s) no matter the reasons. I have found women tend to be lazy big time when they live at home. They are so used to mom and dad cleaning the house, making dinner that when they are choosing a man to date, they tend to want a guy who will do all those things for them.
Most women who live at home rarely cook, so when they date a guy they either want to go out to eat and him pay, or have him invite her over to his place and he cook her dinner.
Also many women will want to spend more time at the guy's place than at home, which over time she will more or less end up moving in. Seems to happen most times, women move from home into a guy's place. So never living on her own.
When I moved out it was because my mom didn't need the help anymore, I wanted my own place and if I was dating someone, I would not have moved into her place.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 509 (view)
 
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 11/13/2009 5:51:31 AM

Would you rather have a girl or guy who is not willing to make sacrifices and you can start off in a debt filled relationship? or someone who is willing to take the initiative to not have the freedom they once had but build them selves a life? In many cultures it is normal for families to stay together and take care of eachother. I actually think it is sad that our culture is moving so far from that.


Sadly we are moving so far from that. Our society is based on materialism and how much a person can get.
Many people are judged on what they have, and that impresses others, which in turn gives that person a feeling of acceptance.
Just like someone who rents vs someone who "owns". Many forget that you do not own the house/condo until it is paid off in full. And the debt you carry with that is renamed as equity so it is not viewed as a debt like say a car payment.
So when someone rents, many in today's socuiety frown upon them and say "You should own"
Everything comes down to affordibility.
When one says they live under the same roof as thier parent(s). Immediately they are viewed in a negative light. Sometimes when the person explains why, they are given some credit, but most times that person is thought of lying to justify themselves.
If it were common place for the majority of North American people to live with family, no one would then bat an eye about this issue. But unless you are Latin, European, Caribbean or Asian, then you are viewed as having no valid reason to be living in the same residence as your parent(s).
Money and possessions seems to have taken over what is most important to a vast majority of people. Family comes way down the list it seems. How many people have you heard feel thier parent(s) become a burden to them, interfering in thier lifestyle? So the sons/daughters put them in a seniors home and eventually forget about them, getting caught up in thier lives. You can ask people who work in seniors homes and long term care facilities how lots of people there do not get any family visiting them. Very sad but is our society in North America.
People will justify why they would never help out nor live with thier parents. Most times ii comes down to because of others will perceive them.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Being single = having no life ??
Posted: 11/12/2009 8:36:38 AM
I do find it interesting that many people think that when you are single, you have no life.
I am single, have been for a long time, all my friends are married or in relationships, so I adjusted and started to meet new people and got over my bitterness about being rejected all the time. I ask women out on dates, enjoy the night out and do things solo like attending events, travelling.
You can be in a relationship or be dating and still have no life.
It is all in your mindset.
As for people saying about getting laid when you are single. That is the least of my priorities and worries. If I get some, fine, if I do not..not the end of the world. I have gone long yearly droughts many of times in my life.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 506 (view)
 
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 11/11/2009 2:48:55 PM

I think it's also funny that people seem to frown more on men at home then women or is it just me?


Nope you are right, it is the many double standards we seem to live by.
If a woman was dating a guy who lived in the same house/apartment as his parent(s) and she mentioned this to her friends? Her friends would immeditealy tell her to dump him and bash him saying he is a loser, moocher etc. Not knowing the situation.
Now women are allowed to live at home, because back in the day they did until they got married. So in today's world, many women may not go by that exact rule of thumb, but because it is not viewed negatively for a woman to live at home, no one says boo.

People assume things about others based on thier beliefs. And when someone has the mindset that the guy is a loser because he lives in the same household as his parent(s), there is no changing her view.
Interestingly many men for example who have both parents and one passes away, will many times have the surviving parent move in with them. BUT women most times think the guy is living with her mooching. Sad isn't it? All about the man impressing the woman. Wooing her. So get that nice car to impress her, work that high paying job to spend your money on her and make sure you have a nice place of your own to impress her with. Then you woo her.
But if family gets in the way, you lose her.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 497 (view)
 
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 11/8/2009 8:57:45 AM
I have known men and women who moved out on thier own to impress the me/women they wanted to date. One friend of mine did this because the woman he wanted to date said she wouldn't because he was living at home. His dad was sick and didn't work and his mom was the only one working and he was contributing to the household. But he up and left solely to impress the women with his own place. Sadly his parents went into deep debt, had to sell the house, his dad was in the hospital for about 5 months and passed away, he refused to help his parents because he would then get no dates. Smart? Some say of course, you have to have a life of your own. Some say selfish because family should come first.
In North America family comes last, money comes first.
Said that, I could care less what anyone thought of me sharing an apartment or house with my mom. Hey she is the only parent I have, and if she gets sick, you're damn right I will be there for her.
But sometimes parents are no longer needed to be around and many stop communicating with them once they leave feeling they get in thier way in life.
I know people who are close to thiers and many who have not spoken to thier parents in years.
My one friend who lives out west in BC has not spoken to his parents in 10 years and has not seen them in 15 years. His sister he occasionally speaks to and she called him recently to tell him dad had cancer, he said oh well. As far as he is concerned, his parents are his wife's parents.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 481 (view)
 
I think Girls have it a lot easier than Guys when it comes to Love, Dating, Relationships, etc.
Posted: 11/5/2009 4:58:08 PM

Yep, people think that if they go on a date and spend their time and money and someone isn't interested that it is a waste of time. I consider none of my dates a waste of time, whether or not I saw them again. I met someone new and most times I have an enjoyable time (that's because I can keep a conversation going).


I've spent lots of worthless dates. But a guy has to take those financial chances in dating. One time I went on 5 dates in one month and spent about $400 as a total. All 5 were not interested BUT told me a couple of days later. C'est la vie, sometimes a guy has only the thrill of getting a date.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 155 (view)
 
why is that an older woman looking for younger men is OK but...older men for younger girls is BAD
Posted: 11/5/2009 4:54:49 PM

its only creepy when the girls old men go after are under the age of 20... and umm quit whining u old guisers were able to go after ther younger chicks for eons before old hags were allowed to go after young male meat


Ahh shut it old hag LOL...I agree that is why I say why date at 40? I got nothing to offer any women my age, would not date much younger and so why waste any women's time?


At 40 you no longer date? Thats ridiculous or did you mean that women 10-15 years younger don't want to date you? I'm confused, i'm 9 years older than you and actually prefer men my own age or older, and sure maybe alot of those men in that bracket are looking for women alot younger than me, however having been young myself once i am confident that there is not an exceptional abundance of younger women looking to date much older men, so actually their chances of having no-one are much higher than mine, in the scheme of things.


See the women in thier 30's want a hot lookin guy, that I am not. Women in thier 40's want an established guy who has status, attractive.
I work an everyday job that is not professional, I do not spend hundreds on my clothes. I am not attractive. So why would I bother to date? Nothing wrong with throwing in the towel early on instead of facing the reality years later.
Also more men in thier 40's are single because women our age want to be in control, they hate the fact men can be like them and set in thier ways. They want awesome sex. Alot of us can't give her that like the young hotties. We can think we can, which sadly too many men do think this way.
My problem in my 30's was always having women 18-25 liking me. Never women my age, as these women would tell me I was not good enough.
This day in age not every guy is worthy enough for women, in women's eyes. So in turn there are not enough worthy men available, more undesirables.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 151 (view)
 
why is that an older woman looking for younger men is OK but...older men for younger girls is BAD
Posted: 11/4/2009 6:43:09 PM
^^^I agree and this is why at 40 I no longer date. I am old, unattractive, and so that makes me creepy. I encourage women my age to go myounger. Maybe a boatload of us old guys whould be put in a boat, sent out on the lake and then sink the boat. Wouldn't that be awesome to older women? Ridding the world of undesirable old men?
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 482 (view)
 
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 11/2/2009 7:02:02 AM

^^I'm beginning to see why you had to resort to an online forum to find dates


And why would you say that?
All I said is I do not need anyone's acceptance in what I do.
If my mom got sick, I wouldn't be saying "Sorry can't be helping you because the ladies would deem that inappropriate"
I would not hesitate to have my mom move in with me if she needed the help. She raised me, I sure am not going to turn my back on her just because some women feel it is unacceptable for a man to be close to his mom or help her out whatever way he can.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 218 (view)
 
Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/31/2009 1:52:37 PM
I just leave dating for the beautiful people and people with money.
I will remain single for years to come I am sure. For me it is just too tiring to continue pursuing women like I did in my 20's and go through the same crap. Now with more questions being asked at 40, more higher expectations and higher standards, I can't be bothered trying to live up to them or meet those expectations.
I'm 40, single, no kids, no ex-wife, no debt, no bitterness, I work hard, earn an honest living and will continue to do so. I very highly doubt I am the kind of guy in demand at this age, so for me it is about living my life and being happy. If someone comes into it, great. But if no one does, it is not the end of the world in my eyes.
Life is what you make of it.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 423 (view)
 
Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/31/2009 8:31:15 AM
Now here is why I do not exclude women with children from my potential dates. At 40 if I am to only want to find women with no kids, there ure are not tons of women in that catagory 35-40. And so that means I am limiting myself on potential dates, also I am making the pool of available women smaller. Meaning not many chances of even meeting nor dating with so many men pursuing the same small pool of women.
Or that means I would have to start wanting to date younger and then again there is another problem. Not enough younger women who will date an older guy.
So when I factor in all those things, I do not exclude women who have kids. My preference in age range is 35-45 yrs old. I did go on a date with someone in thier mid 20's a couple of years back. She was nice and all, but again we just did not have the same mindset.
Dating has not become much of a priority to me these days. I look at it as this: If it happens, it happens, if it doesn't, it doesn't. I still do the things I enjoy doing in my life.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 216 (view)
 
Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/31/2009 7:48:08 AM
Dual threat of jealousy:
a) Younger guys don't like it - Older guy is taking younger girls from their pool. It's a characteristic they can't compete with.

b) Older women don't like it - Older guy is strongly saying "you're not good looking enough being older" by doing that.

It's a natural thing just as much for people to detest it when society is on a balance like it is today in civilization... just as much as it's natural for a young gal to like an older guy, as it represents more stability, care-taking, and a sense of masculinity (in a daddy sort of way).


I have to disagree here. Younger guys sure do not care at all if an older guy dates a younger woman. As is the trend today, younger men are starting to prefer older women, so taking a yougner woman from the pool of women available, the young guys likes that. One less headache in his eyes.
But the thing is, these days most women in thier 20's date within thier 20's. It is not as common as years gone by that a woman in her 20's will date a much older guy.

Older women do not like it when a guy her age dates younger because there is a bit on animosity towards men her age. Human nature really. She was once married to a guy her age for 15 years, she thought he was going to be an amazing husband, but was a total a-hole. So the bitterness towards men her age is based on that experience of being with him for years. So if an older guy dates a younger woman, she is bound to bash the guy because she doesn't want to see him happy. Mind you I don't think it is on purpose women act that way, just is the bitterness towards older men is all. She would never be that way to a younger guy ever. Younger men make older women feel wanted more than us old farts.
Some younger women that like older men is usually from the missing male figure in her life growing up. So when an older guy is showing respect and interest in the younger woman, she feels safe and likes it because the male figure was absent while she was growing up into a young woman. So it is sometimes referred to as a father figure.

What is funny is, those women that criticize men for dating younger women, usually would have no interest in the guy to begin with. SO why bash him if you have no interest in him, that is beyond me.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 421 (view)
 
Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/31/2009 7:39:09 AM
^^^ Men have no leg to stand on when it comes to bashing or insulting single moms. And men come up with the wrong reasons not to date them. Ask women, they as always are right, we men sadly are always wrong.
Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Single moms will always say they have valid reasons to question a man who has no kids and never been married.
I get it all the time, and yet if I ever said I would never date single mothers because....then I would be bashed big time.
I give all women the benefit of the doubt and most times I am never given that. But life works on a one way street most times.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 406 (view)
 
Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 8:30:46 PM

Damn, overreact much? Was she talking about you? Nothing wrong with her being a little picky, you guys are, why can't they? Shes a single mom that may have made mistakes she doesn't wish to repeat.


So you agree that assuming is a good thing to go with? But when men say things about single moms, who gets all up in arms and over reacts?
Nothing wrong with grouping men into the same bunch right? Just because of her past mistakes. BUT if a man does that to the single moms, they don't seem to like it much right? Not an overreaction on my part, just an Assumption, like hers.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 137 (view)
 
why is that an older woman looking for younger men is OK but...older men for younger girls is BAD
Posted: 10/30/2009 7:07:38 PM
I think it has become more acceptable and more common for women to date much younger these days. Where it is becoming less common and more frowned upon for men to be dating much younger women these days. The times have changed and from my view...men are expendable or disposable by the time they hit thier 40's. Women can act, feel and look younger these days. They are encouraged to. And it is totally acceptable. But men to do the same is called immature. So we get grey, fat, balding, unattractive by 40 and become undesired. Women then go to the young guys because a man 25-35 is in his prime and the best men out there.
As I say, I am 40, unattractive and how do I compete with a hot, young attractive guy? I can't, so i don't bother.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 213 (view)
 
Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/30/2009 7:03:23 PM
You know what they say about assumptions though.....


Ya men shouldn't but women do because it is always the truth..right?


Our society leans towards stereotypes....one being that if someone (male or female) is over a certain age (40 it seems) and has never been married, there is something wrong with them that makes them unsuitable.

So...if you are in that group, you have an uphill battle ahead of you to get your foot in the door so to speak. Hell, if your circumstances coincide with any negative stereotype, yeah...an uphill battle is what you have on your hands.


So what you are basically saying is, believe all stereotypes and continue to do so, do not give people the benefit of the doubt because if you do, you will be looked at as strange. And you sure do not want your girlfriends saying "Why are you dating him? He has no kids and never married. He can't be good to you." As a woman's girlfriends are always right about the men thier friends date.
Or better yet, just to get the acceptance of a woman I like, I will make sure I get married once, and then divorced so that I belong to the Elite Club and then I will be in hot demand.


Ever noticed that when you are single, it is hard to find a date and yet when you are happily in a relationship.....you get flirted with more often? ~shakes head~


Reason is simple, we do not give off a vibe that we are looking. We give off a vibe we don't care. That seems to attract people.
For example, a guy always smiles at the same woman each morning when he sees her walking into the same workplace building. But now his smile is more halfass. That gets her thinking "Why was his smile so non-flirting this time. And he seems to do this from now on. So she starts to smile flirtingly to him, where she never did before.
Is just how it happens. We show we don't care when we are with someone. Show we are looking, when we are single. It makes me laugh each time. You think 'Where were these girls last month?" LOL
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 401 (view)
 
Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 6:56:03 PM

I dont seem to have a problem with men wanting to date me, I just have a problem with dating men, esp... those that dont have children.Guess with all the crazy peeps around now adays i just really want to protect what i have,and whats crazy now is that i work at my kids daycare and i do see alot of moms that just dont seem to care.


I will remember to tell my couins and friends to not bring thier kids around me untilI have children of my own.
It is single mothers like this who make us all out to be perverts, a-holes, etc. Thanks alot I appreciate it...should I run out and get someone pregnant so I can get the acceptance of single mothers? Or should I say that life is over for me because I have no kids?
I am crazy, poor, a panhandler, lowlife, loser, skid, pervert, pig, a-hole...oh and i guess because I do not have kids...but then again I never knew that men who had kids were all genuine, amazing, kid friendly...etc. Thanks for the insight, must mean men without kids are all crazy, men with kids are all amazing. Gotcha...
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 392 (view)
 
Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 4:43:05 PM
Ok this has swerved into a divorce thread...I'll add my 2 cents.
One thing for sure, if I ever got married and then divorced? I know that I would have to be paying my ex support of some sort even if there are no kids. Either way, I'd let her have all that was in my account, and whatever possessions I own, be it car, house etc. Then I'd make sure I had not one dime left so she would be better off than me. I'd make sure all the bills were in my name, then I would file for bankruptcy and start my life fresh. This way she has a fresh start and has what she deserves being everything that was owned, I would have nothing. I would then just flop on a friend's couch for a few months until I could get first and last month's rent.
In the end she can't comeback for more because I would have given her all my money in the account, RRSP's would be transferred over to her name as well, all possessions would go to her.
Even though you can say one who pays feels financial hardship but the one who gets paid feels it too because of her having to afford a place of her own when it was two incomes, but at least the guy can have it hard financially.
Men screw it up, give the women everything, and start fresh.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 479 (view)
 
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 10/29/2009 7:23:14 PM

Whatever happened to the good old days with the extended family living within the same household and everybody taking care of each other


Because these days it seems it is all about impressing everyone and mainly about pleasing the women.
More women complain about men living with family as oposed to men complaining about women doing the same. Just the double standard we live by or get ridiculed.
I don't need anyone's acceptance in what I choose to do in my life, especially from a woman. Because then I ask this..will she listen and accept what I say to her? I highly doubt it.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 210 (view)
 
Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/29/2009 7:17:55 PM
All the dating world has become now is and male vs female fight.
No one is right nor wrong.
There will be men who have not had great luck in dating, feel crappy about being a bachelor at 40 and there will be others who won't feel crappy about it.
Most of us have many ups and downs, as I call my dating experiences a rollercoaster ride for sure.
Ya I am 40, single for the past handful of years, been in LTR's through my 20's, most of my 30's I was single and more soul searching to find myself. I feel I am a great catch, but sure most women have kids and seem to assume more about myself because I have none and never have been married. I will still give them a fair chance and benefit of the doubt,most single mothers do not do the same. Oh well, is par for the course in the dating world at 40 and single. I can't change anything about how I am perceived. I can just be happy with my life, do the things I enjoy, and so be it.
Happy at 40 with no kids and not been married. But one thing I have not said ever is NEVER, and I also do assume all single mothers want someone to support them financially.
Again we get stereotyped as older bachelors, women get stereotyped as single mothers.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 311 (view)
 
Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/26/2009 8:49:50 PM
^^ Ya and then you ladies bash us men who have no kids and say we must be selfish and never been in LTR's etc.
Nice to praise single moms, but why not praise us guys who have no kids as well? At least I use a comdom when having sex, don't do the "pull out" thing and do not mislead women. Ahh but then again 40 amd no kids a a bad thing.
Seems all the time it is the men's fault, they are irresponsible and women are never like that. Yet it is the single moms who sit there, are critical and judgemental on men who have no kids. Yet be judgemental about them for being single moms and there is always a justifying reason for it. Again women saying they do no wrong, but men always do wrong.
Be it have kids and an ex, or not have kids and no ex, we are still in thw rong in your eyes.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 469 (view)
 
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 10/26/2009 7:02:20 PM
No no it is women can judge men and coem up with assumptions because women are always right.
Men should never judge women under any circumstance nor assume anything, because men are always wrong.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 286 (view)
 
Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/26/2009 8:57:11 AM
I don't criticize men who do not have children. I will admit I do wonder at men who are in their 40's, have never been married or had any LTRelationships. I said I wonder, I don't judge. Everyone has their own story and the absence of a marriage, children or a LTR is not an automatic red flag....just a yellow caution one.


Now one thing I have noticed that women seem to associate too much is that when a guy has never been married and has no kids, he must never have been in an LTR. So again some assumptions that women seem to say they have a valid reason to assume? And if a guy has had LTR's, which I am sure all men have at some point or another, it does not mean an LTR automatically should mean marriage.
Remember one thing ladies and I am NOT bashing you in any way.
Take a step back and look at how many guys show an interest in you, at any given time in your life so far. Is it alot? So you have not had any shortage of potential dates right? Seriously. Now not alot of us men have had that pleasure of having alot of women show an interest in us over our life so far. So in turn there will be alot more single men out there, than women. And if we settle, you would be all over us about that.
So if a man settles, gets married and has kids with someone he really is not compatible with, but did so because he is in his 30's that is wrong. But if a guy holds out until he meets the woman, hopefully he does, and that could be into his 40's, he is compatible with and loves that is wrong too. Because he should not wait that long. Again a double edged sword. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Women will still not be happy and still put us under the microscope.
So if you all wonder about a man 40 and never married with no kids, then why is ti so bad for men to wonder about a woman 40, 2 kids, divorced. Or just is a single mom never been married. Seems that both are acceptable situations women feel is ok. And we men should not criticize them. On the otherhand, we men will get criticized for not fathering children by a certain age. Yet seems totally ok to have kids with different women and not be with them. When did this become the standard?

I am proud and happy to that I never got someone pregnant, had kids when I was young and not financially fit. I see way too many men and women having kids and what tears them apart is the fact that they can barely make ends meet, not taking into consideration the cost included. Seems this is non-existent until the child comes and then the costs build up. But then again what do I know? I get called selfish at 40 for not having kids. Like I said before, maybe I will just jump in the sack with any woman I meet and get her pregnant. That way when I meet other women I can say "Yes I have a child...on the way"

As is how our society goes...Women can do no wrong..Men are always wrong...His money is my money, my money is my money...
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 283 (view)
 
Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/26/2009 8:01:09 AM
In the end men are at fault and women are not.
There are many women who want to have a child so even though the guy is not worthy to stay with, some still want a child with him. Then the shite hits the fan between the two, they break up and he still has to pay support.
Still always makes me shake my head how women will criticize men who have no children. Makes me think I should have kids, an ex and support payments just to be accepted in a good light. Sorry ladies, I didn't know keeping****in my pants was such a bad thing. Maybe now at 40 I will make sure I have a couple of kids.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 464 (view)
 
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 10/25/2009 8:53:21 PM
usually when a woman is living at home with her parents she is mooching. She may say she isn't, but she will tell you not to call after a certain time. She will be driving her parents car and driving them around places too.
Oh wait, that is right, this is a toally acceptable thing and women never mooch do they? Seems women think men mooch when they are living at home. Better look in the mirror then ladies.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 172 (view)
 
Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/25/2009 8:58:57 AM
I'm now at the point in my life where, if a woman won't date me because I have never been married, have no kids so what. Seems as we get older we actually do get pickier. Putting people under the microscope more and not worry about what they are as a person.
Ladies keep up the great work.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 257 (view)
 
Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/25/2009 8:46:40 AM
Well ladies, keep on passing up the guys who have no dependents, more free time, flexible time...did you get that last one FLEXIBLE TIME, and keep looking and accepting dates from men who have dependents, an ex-wife that seems to try to bud into his affairs because of a woman being in his life and coming around THIER kid(s). Like the guys who won't date women with kids, women not wanting to date men with kids...you just limit yourself to a smaller pool of men to choose from.

Also I never knew a guy who has no kids is never around any kids anytime of his life.
I guess nieces, nephews, cousins, friends, etc no one has kids and he is harboured from kids his entore life? Nice bubble you ladies live in. But reality is, a ton of single men who have no kids but are around them all the time. Just because he does not have his own does not mean shite. Have you ever heard of wanting to have them when you are married? I am sure you have, and alot of men would rather wait until that time.
Ah yes but then comes the comment where that was the plan for you ladies and he left...so again paint us with the same brush all you like. We do the same when it comes to women and money...and that seems to piss off women all the time.

Too each thier own. All I know is, I have dated women who have kids and do not. Neither is better than the other. They are both equal.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 244 (view)
 
Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/24/2009 9:18:18 PM
I have known and still know alot of guys who have no kids and they have nephews, nieces, friends who have kids and these guys are around the kids all the time. All it is, is that they just have not found the woman to settle down with and that seems to be an issue with women. Why should a guy just settle because of age? Oh gotta have kids because everyone else is.
I have been around kids most of my 20's and 30's. Most of my friends have them. So how could I not want to be around anyone else's? And I do not know one guy who's circle of friends or relatives do not have kids. That would be one in a million if there is such a person.
One friend of mine got married at 41 last year. Was single for 11 years, didn't date hardly over those 11 years. Him and his wife are expecting thier first child in February. I guess I shouldn't be friends because I do not have kids and I am 40, he is 41.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 455 (view)
 
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 10/24/2009 8:52:59 PM
I always seem to find the women who are in thier late 30's and older, still living with her parents, not paying a dime, working full-time, driving an expensive car, always broke, mooching off her parents and then mooching off the guys she dates. Tells the guys not to call the house after 10pm because her parents are in bed. Total turn-off. Get a life I say.
Oh wait that is right, acceptable because it is a woman...now if a guy is doing this? What a loser right? It don't matter, unless you are helping your parents out, then ok. But contribute at least.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 241 (view)
 
Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/24/2009 8:49:37 PM
I have to disagree there because us guys can easily say the same thing in this context.
Everytime a guy meets a woman who has kids she always expects us to pay her way because she has no money due to raising her kids. I think I have heard that comment by single moms many times BUT...I DO NOT think ALL single moms are this way. But I could be the same and think you are all this way when dating. See what I am sayong?
How do you think a guy with no kids who wants to give a woman who has kids the same chance as a woman who doesn't is going to start thinking, after always encountering this? Again generalize, wrong for us men, acceptable for women to do with acceptable reasons. Right?
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 452 (view)
 
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 10/24/2009 8:27:56 PM
It freaks me out when women assume a guy is mooching off his parents, when he is helping them out. But then again putting your parents in a seniors home is a better thing so you can have freedom.
When my mom gets sick I will have to let her know 'Sorry mom, you will be a liability to my dating life and so I cannot help you and no you cannot move in with me. The women would never like that."
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 239 (view)
 
Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/24/2009 8:25:02 PM
It amazes me that women will tell us men to stop generalizing them. Yet single moms think because the last 5 guys that they met who did not have kids, thought down of them. So in turn they paint us with the same brush.
Once again in this society, we get the double standards where women feel it is ok to generalize us men, but us men are not to be doing the same.

Women should look at it this way. Men who have no kids and are older than 35 should not be limiting themselves on potential dates. Saying "I won't date someone who has kids" is just making the pool of available women smaller.
So women think positive, there are alot of potential dates out there with men who do not have kids...and us men have more free time to work around the less free time you have.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 237 (view)
 
Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/24/2009 8:10:31 PM
Ok so let's steer back on the topic.
My question to those who are single moms is this.
Why is it so many single moms criticize men who do not have kids? And why is it that so many will not date men who have no kids? Is it a bad thing to not have any kids and an ex-wife? Seems many I either talk to on here or have met over the past handful of years has said that something must be wrong with us men in our late 30's and older who do not have kids. Would it be a better thing for myself to go out and have kids and then leave the girl so I can say I have kids? Or have kids out of wedlock so I can say the same thing?
Why is there so few who actually will date a guy who has not had any kids yet or might not want any?
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 443 (view)
 
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 10/23/2009 6:08:00 PM

Why is it sad for an adult to not want to date another adult who lives with his/her parents?

Damn "those people" who insist on being independant and making their own way, instead of reverting to their childhood position.

In this horrible, terrible economy, there are still 90% employed persons. Some of the other 10% never were employed, and never wanted to be. Others work under the table. I've been down to my last $40.00, yet I never moved in with my parents. I expect the same from a partner.

The adult children living at their parent's home need to seek out others who also live with their parents, and quit ****ing about how people who are self sufficient refuse to date them.


I never **** at people who are self sufficient. But if my mom needs me to help her out somehow, and it meant she had to move in with me or vice versa, I wouldn't say no because someone who is self sufficient thinks I shouldn't. It wouldn't be permanent, just temporary. What I have said is that so many women think men shouldn't be living with any parents regardless of the situation.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Texting endlessly
Posted: 10/21/2009 4:28:58 PM
Human interaction and having social skills will be a thing of the past before we know it. People now barely say "Hi" to one another. Alot of people now have no clue how to converse or socialize with people. But they can chat online, text and email tons. Is the wave of the future.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 68 (view)
 
when are standards too high?
Posted: 10/20/2009 1:14:23 PM
Women hold more power in dating today, many men will disagree because the truth hurts.
As women get older, they want more perfection, in turn become much more selective.
Many men as they get older, drop thier standards, take whatever comes thier way settling, or stay single and accept that yes thier standards are too high and will be dateless well into thier 40's.
Just the difference is reality and dreaming. We all dream, we all hate to accept reality.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 465 (view)
 
I think Girls have it a lot easier than Guys when it comes to Love, Dating, Relationships, etc.
Posted: 10/20/2009 1:11:02 PM
See this to me is an average male thought process. Not to pick on this fellow but it is a good example. I have yet to meet a man that actually doesnt think he is the best thing since sliced bread, doesnt think he will rock my world, doesnt think he is a sexual god, doesnt think he is good looking, doesnt think that all he needs is a coupel of hours to convince me that he is right for me, etc, etc. Its amost border line on delusional. I am not talking about having a healthy self esteem, way beyond that, in their minds they are gods.....The fly in the ointment is that many men forget that they dont get to decide who is interested in them, who finds the attractive or thinks they are good in bed. WOMEN get to do that! And I think that is what frustrates some men, because in their minds they are the cats pyjamas, so they deserve what ever they want. It couldnt possible be that they arent all of those things to that particular woman, NO, she is a self entitled, snotty ****, that doesnt know what she is missing!


Now if only more men would see this!! I know I am not going to rock some woman's world in bed, I suck in the sack. How do I know? Women told me that already, last one was 3 years ago. I said thanks, now I know what not to be doing...having sex.
I know I am not that great looking, why? Women told me, have since I was in my teens, just I was stupid to take to 40 years old to realize "Damn women were so right" but hey now I know right?
See when a man says these things about himself, he is thinking negative, putting himself down. But when he thinks he is all that..he is viewed as arrogant.
It is so easy for women yet they make it so hard for themselves.
A woman would rather have a hot looking guy who is arrogant, than an average looking guy is isn't. She will always be interested because of those great looks he has.
A woman aure wouldn't want to wake up beside the guy she dates and look at him and think "Why do I like him again? Oh ya because he is a decent man" BORING.
She wants to wake up beside him and think "Wow he is so hot" Keeps her interested.
Being great in bed is what women want, it may take 2 to tango, but only one can suck in bed and usually that neds up being the guy. And men seem to think they are gods in bed, when so many are duds.
Nice to see that at least one woman, Grizzelda, on here speaks the truth about the average looking guys. Now if only more would step up and be honest, or do you prefer to get 50 messages a day from average looking undesirable men? It is up to you ladies to keep it easy and simple for yourselves...just tell us guys the truth.
I won't dare talk to most women if I am at all at a bar, I can tell immediately by looking at her if I am at all her type. I would rather look at them, admire them and leave it at that. Why waste her time and mine knowing the outcome? Average looking guys are not appealing...
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 457 (view)
 
I think Girls have it a lot easier than Guys when it comes to Love, Dating, Relationships, etc.
Posted: 10/20/2009 11:56:11 AM
think the fact that average guys arent getting all the action they think they should be, should be somewhat telling about what women want. OH, you want us to walk around with big signs saying that ugly men arent appealing to us....


Finally a woman who said perfect. It does tell you that average looking guys are in fact NOT appealing nor desirable. Now if only more women would be this way then dating would be so much easier for those in it. Knowing what is within reach and what isn't.

Be blunt to men and say "You're ugly, get lost" instead of letting someone down easy. It is not being polite, it is just sugarcoating a no and making yourself come across nice.
I would rather a woman sato me I am ugly than a polite "Not interested" because how am I to know why? When you know why, makes you look at yourself and say "Maybe I am not cut out for this"
Unless women enjoy the game of having undesirable men approach them so they can shoot them down. But I think that gets tiring and annoying no?

Women have thier independance, the power, jobs, houses, cars...now they need a man who is good looking , spends his money on her and rocks her world in bed. Then she has found perfection. Easy to obtain ladies, if you just be truthful to men and not sugarcoat things.

I don't see how this is a whiney thread. Unless it is custom for women to enjoy rejecting men and seeing them think they deserve to date this woman or that woman. Other than that, the truth is women are not being upfront about looks in men. And until then, many of us average looking guys will sadly think we have a chance.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 453 (view)
 
I think Girls have it a lot easier than Guys when it comes to Love, Dating, Relationships, etc.
Posted: 10/20/2009 11:18:04 AM
That is why I say that Average Looking Men have no chance in the dating scene in the long run. Unless he has money, he is not good enough. But women refuse to agree or say this, my guess is because they do not want themselves to look shallow, when in fact all they would be doing is making things a whole lot easier for themselves as the average looking guys would finally realize they are not worth the time of day.
Imagine women not having to put up with ugly, average undesirable men approaching them? I think that would be a blessing in disguise.
But instead men for some reason think they can get the attention of all women, and this ends up annoying women more and more.

Maybe I am one of a slect few guys who realize he is 40, undesirable, average looking and is not dating material. I am not ashamed to admit it, nor am I putting myself down.
reality sucks, but we all have to deal with it.
I just think if women would make it more known that they want above average looks, then men wouldn't be misled to think they have a chance all the time.

Women make thier own money, drive thier own cars, own thier own houses/condos, still want a guy to spend his money on her. Now if only women would be more forward to admitting they want perfection, then things will be so much easier for you. Until then...expect the many undesirable men to keep on asking you out. Make it easier for you, you know that women hold the power in dating..the final decision is yours ladies we know it, even if many deny it.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 451 (view)
 
I think Girls have it a lot easier than Guys when it comes to Love, Dating, Relationships, etc.
Posted: 10/20/2009 8:55:25 AM

A unattractive man on the other hand will most likey never get hit on but if he go's and tries to pickup on a girl, he may never get any girl.Which is why I honestly feel looks matter more to females.


More so today that looks matter more to women than in the past. Is why alot of women want the hot guy. As I got older, now 40, I realized being an average looking guy gets you alot of female friends, not many dates or any relationships, because the lack in looks does not attrract them. And unless you got the money to have some work done, then we have to make do with the looks we have.
Looks gets a guy in the door as women say. But lack in looks gets the door slammed in your face...now unless you are willing to feely spend your money from the get go on her, then an avaerage looking guy may have a chance at at least a date, if he tells her he would like to take her out for dinner and drinks and mention a nice place.
The guys with the good looks do not need to be going that extra mile, they are already in the door and she is already physically interested.
Many women will deny this, only because it would look bad on women if alot admitted that yes you better be a really good looking guy or else you are not going to get my attention.
Looks can be subjective, and sure alot of women will say on here that thier taste in men is different than thier friends' taste. But at the sametime it is selling yourself on a forum too, so again of course a ton of women will not admit it. Human nature.
Just like saying not that many women over 40 prefer younger men, but when you are out in the real world, you see it more and if you know women that age that are single, they usually agree that yes younger men are the best men.
So in all honesty, in the end women have it easier. They just make it harder for themselves is all.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 103 (view)
 
Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/19/2009 12:49:07 PM

Nice to see a childless man speaking for most single mothers.....again


Well from my experiences, it seems they all say the same reason. "You don't know what being a parent is like" or "You may want kids" or "You have not had the same life experiences as a single parent has"
Sure those comments can hold water IF it is true about the guy who wants to potentially date her. But why make those assumptions immediately I ask?
Basically the assumptions are made before knowing who I was.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 62 (view)
 
when are standards too high?
Posted: 10/19/2009 12:07:43 PM
When men are seeking women, if you are an average looking guy, stay within your boundaries. It will be rare if an above average looking woman will give you the time of day.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 124 (view)
 
why is that an older woman looking for younger men is OK but...older men for younger girls is BAD
Posted: 10/19/2009 12:06:45 PM
Times have changed. men have expiry dates, usually if we are single still at 40, the dating options become slim pickings. The young guys under 35 are all the rage for almost all women over 20. Men between 25-35 are the guys I believe the majority of women want. Unless an older guy has money, he is not going to get many dates.
Make sure you are willing to spend over $75 on a night out, then you will get dates. Don't be cheap...I spent about $300 on 4 dates in one month. Was worth every dollar. Would do it again too, just have to space the months out LOL...Oops that sounds like I am being cheap LOL
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 441 (view)
 
I think Girls have it a lot easier than Guys when it comes to Love, Dating, Relationships, etc.
Posted: 10/19/2009 12:02:42 PM
Men just have to know what they are able to obtain...I can tell by first glance if I am at all in her league.
Average looking men should just date average looking women. Forget the hotties, the model types. I have never approached, nor dated any women that a ton of guys drool over. Unless of course the people with me do not agree with me, then I prove to them that yes the above average women, do not date and do not give average looking men the time of day.
Always shuts em up in the end...rejection can be fun.
Only thing that women have that is frustrating, is too many of us undesirable men approach them. I try my best not be one of those men. It must be such a pain and annoying to have so many undesirable guys approach you ladies.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 437 (view)
 
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 10/19/2009 11:57:35 AM
In North America we all want to show everyone what we have and hope for acceptance by all. People criticize others for petty things. But people take those petty things to heart.

Think it this way. Would you turn your back on your parents just because a woman/man told you she/he didn't like the fact you were living with your mom/dad or both, yet you were because they needed help either financially, temporarily?
If you would turn your back, then either you are selfish, do not care about your parents or maybe you have a bad relationship with them.
I know some who have not talked to thier parents in years, got the news that one parent passed away and he never cared.
Others I know have been there for thier parents, put thier lovelife on hold to help them out.
Known others where the bf/gf was totally understanding and commended he/she for being supportive to thier mom and dad.
Overall, if someone or people are putting you down for what you feel is doing the right thing, then you do not need those type of people in your life, plain and simple.

Alot of Women will always immediately think a guy who is living in his parents place is a loser and mooch. Even if you explain it to her, she will still think you shouldn't be there or that you are lying. It is a stereotype and you can't make those people think otherwise...Sad.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 100 (view)
 
Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/19/2009 11:49:57 AM
I just find it amazing that women find a single mother to be a good thing, but a man who has not had kids and/or has not been married over 40 has something wrong.
From what I see it means I should have an ex-wife, kids, and child support...then I would be in the high demand pool of men the women look for. LOL
A single mom won't give me the time of day because I am not a father nor been married...love that!! WTF?
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 156 (view)
 
Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/19/2009 11:47:38 AM

dont put them down..........I just think there must be something wrong with them that in the 50 or more years they have been on this earth they still havent found anyone to marry.


So there is something wrong with a guy over 40 that has never married?
Wow and I guess it is a great thing for a woman to be divorded and have kids or never married but has kids? Oh yes but then THAT says it was the man's fault.
If a man has no kids and has never been married and he is over 40, that is a bad thing right?
A woman over 40, divorced with a kid or two is a good thing right?
A man who dates younger is a pervert and dirty old man, right?
A woman who dates younger is finding a compatible partner, right?

Lovin these dohble standards as we go along. What else can be added to this list?
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Bad in the sack
Posted: 10/17/2009 6:27:44 AM
I found more women say us men are bad in the sack. I don't believe women are ever bad in the sack.
I have been told point blank many times "You suck in bed"
c'est la vie, no one is perfect.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 68 (view)
 
Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/17/2009 6:26:12 AM
I found more single mothers won't date men who have no kids.
Some ne may not date single mothers because they feel that they do not want to be this child's new dad. When in fact that is not true, the child has a dad already.
I found more women who are single mothers have rejected me because they find out I have never been married and have no kids.

Funny thing is, women friends I have been out with, with their child or children with us, people think the kids are mine LOL. Which is human nature.
I remember running into a friend of mine who was with her son pusing him in a stroller. So I was walking with her through the mall and she wanted to grab something in one store so I said I'll wait with him while she goes in. Women thought the child was mine and were stopping to see him. When my friend came out, they thought she was my gf/wife and said "You both have such a cute child."
 
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