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Thread: Slimmer pickin's when you get older?

Joined: 1/29/2006

Msg: 322 (view)

Slimmer pickin's when you get older? Posted: 5/11/2006 2:51:30 PM
Thanks Whisper Glad I made you laugh....I agree too I don't go to bars/church so I have chosen to take this avenue..and so far it's been positive...

Joined: 1/29/2006

Msg: 316 (view)

Slimmer pickin's when you get older? Posted: 5/10/2006 9:04:52 PM
Eddie Why are you being so negative...no where did I say that if the date was going badly I would use the phone call to bail out on someone...the remark was meant to help put my friends at ease to be able to call me and check to make sure I am ok...if I travel a distance to meet someone my friends are concerned so if they call me they can then feel better that I am ok...not to bail out on the person...I have no problem telling someone it isn't working between us. I was just saying that so far the people I know who have done on line dating have had good experiences that's all...be it they got married or had a relationship for awhile or just meet and became friends...whatever the case was.... I understand that this my not be the ideal place or way to meet someone...and I understand there are possibly many disastrous situations that have accured. I am being realistic....

Joined: 1/29/2006

Msg: 308 (view)

Slimmer pickin's when you get older? Posted: 5/10/2006 5:35:21 AM
I agree with DC, it was a scary thought to go on line to meet someone...but I know people who are doing it and in fact 3 people I know meet there now husbands on line.... I always make sure I tell someone who I am meeting and where it will be...not that it makes me safe but I have that support from my friends..we make arrangements for her to call me at some point during the date... Or I go to a place where I am known to meet... So far it's all been good.... Ron...I agree...it seems men/woman have this criteria as to who they want to go out with ...wheter they think because your an older woman you can teach them something or it's a I want a casual affair... A friend told me sometimes you have to kiss a lot of toads before the prince/princess might come along... So don't get discouraged...who knows what the future has in store...it sure is fun meeting some very interesting people...I have gotten a very good education since being on line

Joined: 1/29/2006

Msg: 287 (view)

Slimmer pickin's when you get older? Posted: 5/8/2006 6:22:19 AM
Hello all...I do agree that the pickin's are slimmer as you get older...for what reason I really don't know...I thought it would be easier as I am now older...hopefully wiser...but I have found that the men I have encountered seem to want to test drive...that is why I stated no 1nt stands or intimate encounters.... I don't say that men are not having the same problems that us woman are having.... 1. hating or bad mouthing an ex 2. wanting just a 1nt stand 3. w/children 4. widow/er's not letting go of their spouse But to make the statement LTR mean desperate or anything else is a person who has some magor issues to deal with.... LTR means ro me.... 1. some one longer than a wk..mo.. 2. someone who is friend 3. after you get to know each other a sensual partner 4. someone who lights up the room when they enter 5. there are some many things to different people what LTR means Just a note...no one knows how long a relationship will last to actually define LTR in a span of months... years.. I just think we hope when we meet that person it will be for a long time.. I too am not looking for marriage...don't want to...but I wouldn't exclude the possibilty.. I am not looking to raise someone else's kids...but I wouldn't exclude the possibilty... Pet's can be an issue also if you think about it..they can keep there owner from traveling... I don't want someone who has more pets than a kennel....Do I want the dog on every date... So when we start to exclude certain options from our profile or life we begin to narrow what our choice's are...so pickin's get slimmer bald vs hair.....heavy vs thin.....muscular vs flabby....beards vs..clean shaven....white hair vs colored hair....blue eyes vs brown...the list goes on.... I think we should be looking at is the person a good person and will they be a good match....get over what has happened in the past and just stay away from that type once you realize it.....

Joined: 1/29/2006

Msg: 261 (view)

Slimmer pickin's when you get older? Posted: 5/2/2006 8:31:59 AM
Well Eddie you make very valid points from your prospective.... Yes, I want to be friends first, as for the LTR you won't know if it will be long term if you don't meet and find out... intimate encounters could lead to a LTR....and how to define LTR is more than a 1nt stand...there is no way to know how long you may or may not stay with someone...I am not looking for a husband just someone to share life's experiences with for how ever long it should last....I like my freedom also...but it also can be lonely not having anyone to share things with... So we now know what you are looking for and how easily bored you get...just let others determine what is for them and if it's LTR or intimate encounters...that is what they are looking for.. As far as moving 1100 miles...I moved to IL right after my husband passed all by myself....packed the car and off I went...a new adventure...lived there for a yr...kids weren't happy but I had to do it for me...I came back home cause I missed my friends and family but would do it again in a heart beat....but it was my choice You appear to lead a very interesting life and as a cancer myself I certainly can relate to some of what you say...but I am a home body and enjoy the company of family and good friends and I like having roots... KUDOS to you for thinking of your Mom...that is a good son

Joined: 1/29/2006

Msg: 257 (view)

Slimmer pickin's when you get older? Posted: 5/2/2006 5:47:19 AM
Hey Eddie...not looking to make an issue but I think you put it out there and if it's been misinterpeted maybe you might want to be a little less... well kinder in your wording Your msg #216 "All I am saying is that when a woman says "long term relationship" she is 1. Delusional if she thinks she is going to find it on POF 2. Seeming to want to skip the "how cool that we both like Chinese food" step. 3. Looking to rush into something" Msg # 237 "You may be taking that too literally. A lot of men see "long term" and tjomk "This is a desperate woman who wants to marry ANYBODY just to get someone with health insurance for my 5 children" or something in that vein" These are your words Eddie and I would think you were saying because we have long term on our profile, you thought it meant desperate.... Now does it mean the same for men who have long term in there profile.... When I say LTR I am meaning someone who wants to take the time to get to know me [and me to get to know them]....find out if we have the same interests....are we compatable. I don't think a lot of the woman here are looking for his money, house or his health insurance....they are just looking for that special person

Joined: 1/29/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

Widow/ers: Greatest fears of dating them Posted: 5/1/2006 5:50:02 AM
" it was strange to see his clothes in Dads closet " Bill...I certainly understand the comment you made...I was seeing an old male friend that my husband and I had known for many yrs...well to make a long story short my son as much as he wants to see me happy... he can't see me with another male figure....I know at some point he will get used to it.... It's funny there is so much conversation that can be had on this topic...I can't imagine why you would look at someone different because they are a widow/er...did we grow a 3rd eye... everyone at some point has expierenced a loss...wether it be a parent, and animal, friend, etc....we move on...we remember the good the bad and the ugly....so once a person decides to start to date again...hopefully it's because they are ready and are in a place in there life to move forward....

Joined: 1/29/2006

Msg: 139 (view)

Slimmer pickin's when you get older? Posted: 4/17/2006 2:46:44 PM
To getinmyarms How true your words are..it's funny when your young it's all about getting married, having a family and growing into your old age...then one day it all changes... Life is that game of chance...spin the wheel of fortune... Now your older and supposedly wiser so we think the pickin's got slimmer...but the reality is we see things all so differently and don't want to be hurt or make the same mistakes..what ever the reasons are...it just seems no one wants to take the chance and just see what happens and go from there...

Joined: 1/29/2006

Msg: 130 (view)

Gotta change this back..... Posted: 4/17/2006 9:33:06 AM
VRB...I like you... couldn't have said it better myself...

Joined: 1/29/2006

Msg: 202 (view)

OVER 50 And Alone....again. Posted: 4/17/2006 7:03:04 AM
Bobby719 so here we are all alone .................. another summer alone.......... I can't imagine why you would be spending any summer alone.....you look like a nice looking man....

Joined: 1/29/2006

Msg: 111 (view)

Slimmer pickin's when you get older? Posted: 4/15/2006 7:38:22 PM
eastsideeddie let be friends...Sorry, I didn't mean to freak out about "baggage" just don't like it linked to kids or grandkids...I certainly agree that everyone comes with some type of left over baggage from there past. "BAGGAGE" ["anything from your past that will cause us any inconvenience or problems in the future"] I like this defintion So now that we are older and have learned from our past all the things we don't want to be a part of our future just except the slim pickens and hope that a friend -- companion and possible lover will be found and if not.. look at all the people you get to meet along the way... THE GOOD ---THE BAD ----THE UGLY---and whatever ever else is out there OH, that could be scary How's that

Joined: 1/29/2006

Msg: 71 (view)

Slimmer pickin's when you get older? Posted: 4/14/2006 7:28:18 PM
eastsideeddie As tough as it is WITH the rose colored glasses, it's that much tougher wihtout them. becareful you mispelled without...didn't use your spell check

Joined: 1/29/2006

Msg: 51 (view)

Slimmer pickin's when you get older? Posted: 4/14/2006 5:34:13 PM
It's amazing how a simple word like baggage could spark such an interesting powerful conversation. I too have lived 55 yrs a good part of it with a husband and children. They have helped to make me who I am...but they are not who I am...I am a strong independant woman who can live life alone or with someone...

Joined: 1/29/2006

Msg: 47 (view)

Slimmer pickin's when you get older? Posted: 4/14/2006 5:20:26 PM
eastsideedie ..First let me say that where your sons are concerned that is your choice as to how you handle your relationship with them. I don't know your situation to say who's fault it is or is not why you had not been in there lives. I guess just reading you call kids and grandkids baggage upset me. Having come from a disfunctional family myself those words cut like a knife since my own mother felt her children were baggae she did not want to carry around. So being a mother myself could not imagine my kids anything more than lifes joy. I commend you for your honesty and forth right personality. I mean no disrespect to you or your opinions. I will agree I may not be able to spell or write like a journelist...I do find you to be a very interesting person and relate to what you say as I too have a very close circle of friends and only let a few choice people into my circle also. I was only refering to the fact that when we expect too much from people we tend to be disappointed. In no way should you lower your standard for a prospective partner...just don't be so critical to other peoples feelings...words can be more hurtful than any sharp object..even if your only reading them. As for my smoking everyone who knows me or men who have met me that do not smoke have commented on that fact that I do not smell like smoke. I have a very sensitive nose and do not like the smell of any foul odors and though this may be hard for you to believe I make every effort for my home or myself to not have a smoking smell. Again it is your choice who you chose to have around you. And anyone who is in your company should respect your home and surroundings. No, I would not expect you to place information in your profile just to make an impression on any prospective partner nor did I want to suggest that you would not be anyone without a partner. I do not feel that I need a man in my life to make me whole. As I said I was married 34 yrs before my husband passed and I was a very seperate independent individual. I had my interests in and outside the home. I worked a full time job every day of my marriage I was not supported financially by my husband in any way. In fact I made the greater of the income. No, I can't imagine what Viet Nam may have been like as I was not there. I can tell you that my childhood friends husband was there along with my brother and my niece's husband. But I do have a knowledge of how it effected there lives. I commend you on your successful life and interests...self made man. That is GREAT Please I was not trying to attack you just meerly making an observation. You seem like once you become a friend you will be true blue. Just don't call kids and grandkids baggage

Joined: 1/29/2006

Msg: 41 (view)

Slimmer pickin's when you get older? Posted: 4/14/2006 4:03:46 PM
Not sure if you are refering to my post. ... Believe me in now way am I suggesting that he is not a nice man. ... I am just stating that when you make reference to kids and grandkids as baggage or to a person build or there likes and dislikes you yourself can elminate some very prospective partners. I just think you need to talk with someone get to know them...

Joined: 1/29/2006

Msg: 38 (view)

Slimmer pickin's when you get older? Posted: 4/14/2006 3:35:13 PM
Hello to everyone but to you eastsideeddie. I looked at your profile and you are a nice looking man, but reading your profile I think the reason you may not be expierencing the dating that you would like is you may have scared off any prospective female. Grant you alot of woman put restrictions on there profiles to elemante the same things that you are just expressing. I for one have met a few nice men we just didn't click for whatever the reason may have been and I encountered some real disgusting men. I am also a cancer and I am very surprised of your lack of sense of family, you say you have 2 boys yet don't refer to them as your sons (how strange) I certainly agree that we should teach our children to stand up and be responsible adults and to let them make there own lives. I have 2 kids a son 32 who is married with 2 beautiful children of his own now a son 20mos and a new 1mo old daughter whom by the way I adore . And I have an unmarried 30 yr old daughter who lives on her own with no children (but she does have a dog who I call my granddog ). I value the time I spend with my kids and I certainly respect anyone who is not into the whole kid sceen, but how can you not want to be involved with your own kids or grandkids. I can't even imagine thinking of my family as baggage. I was married 34 yrs when my husband passed away and never thought I would be in a situation to be looking for a partner or male companion but here I am. You refer to some of the woman who have contacted you with photos as being to large to sit on a chair, well they may have thought since you have a few extra pounds you might have been interested. I am a BBW have been all my life..I take care of myself I work in a profession where you have to dress professional. I am a large person not thru choice but due to a medical condition that was not caught early enough. I am healthy no major illness that will cause me to die any time soon not to say it couldn't happen. Oh by the way I smoke on a daily bases would not disclude a non-smoker from my dating profile. I would respect his feeling and not smoke in his presence, but I won't date a drunk or someone who feels the need to drink on an everyday bases. I don't want you to think I am getting on your case but I think you need to take a good look at why you feel the need to place such high standards for your prospective female partner when you may not be such a catch yourself. Look for a friend and except them for who they are not who you want them to be. As I look back on my relationship with my husband I now wish I could go back and smell the roses instead of getting pissed because he did something stupid. Life is short live it for all it has to offer and maybe you will find that girl your looking for and she might be next door or across the country but you won't know unless you take the time to find out Oh I like these little people things they are just so kwel

Joined: 1/29/2006

Msg: 48 (view)

Now that you're older, do you feel different about relationships? Posted: 4/13/2006 2:53:04 PM
Hi...I am 55 yrs old and a widow...I thought dating would be easier at my age..I found out real fast I was so wrong..I am a BBW...I thought at my age men would want a friend and companion...not a sex kitten...I too like being on my own but I miss the male companionship..I thought I would still be married and go into those golden yrs everyone talks about..Like you I want to be able to call someone up or he call me and say hey "lets go to a movie" or just sit and watch the sun rise...I don't know if my views on relationships have changed since I was younger because I had always wanted to be married and raise a family..I think what has changed is I have learnt from my husbands passing are the mistakes we both made and would not want to make them in a new relationship..value that person more..make sure it's a equal partnership...make more of an effort to put aside unimportant things...spend all the time you can together...but giving that space needed...wisdom has taught me not to sweat the small stuff anymore.

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