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Thread: desperate?

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

desperate? Posted: 6/29/2009 12:21:18 PM
I'm not desperate by any means but I personly don't want to get to know someone in emails.I spent too many times talking to someone in emails for days and weeks and start thinking there are a nice person.Then we talk on the phone for the first time and they talk completely different from there emails.If someone won't talk on the phone fairly quickly I feel like there hiding something. An example I a girl emailed me and we emailed back and forth for few days and she sounded like a very nice girl.I talked to her on the phone the first time and she was very ****y and bossy sounding.Needless to say I wasn't impressed on bit. People can take as much time as they want to think what they are going to write in a email.I rather have the raw thoughts come out there mouth to make my decision.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

Is wanting money really a bad thing? Posted: 6/28/2009 10:54:18 PM
I don't expect a woman to buy me anyhting.I'm looking for someone to share my life with not a benafactor.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 18 (view)

Yet another question... Posted: 6/28/2009 10:46:55 PM
Money means nothing when you first start dating to me.I don't plan on moving someone in right away or getting married over night.So what they do for a living or what they have doesn't matter much.By the time I'm ready to get very serious things can change alot for the good or bad.As long as she has a car and can afford gas is all that matters at first.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

Is wanting money really a bad thing? Posted: 6/28/2009 10:39:44 PM
I later learned my ex wife only married me for money and what I had and tried sucking me dry.I am more cautious now than I was before and learned from my mistakes.When I care for someone I tend to do what i can to be sweet including buying them nice things.As soon as someone is interested in what Imake or what I have "Red Flags" go up.I rather have someone like me for me and not what I make.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 67 (view)

Would You Date a Women with 6 children? Posted: 6/28/2009 10:27:45 PM
Six children would probably be to much for me to handle.I'm not trying to be mean its that I don't think I have what it takes to help with that many.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 175 (view)

Why do men find it so difficult to date single mothers? Posted: 6/28/2009 10:03:44 PM
I'm open to dating women with children but even I have to take great consideration.It depends on a few things for me. 1)How many children are there? 2) How well behaved are they? 3)I prefer a father that doesn't come around or have contact.I really don't get along with ex's and with no plans to ever play nice with them. 4)Some one that expects me to drop everything in my life to be a daddy. I dated someone with kids from the time I was nineteen for nine years.I have a lot of experience raising children and gave up a lot of my life to be dad.We ended up breaking it off because of her sleeping around.The worst part about it is that there is a attachment that develops over that long of a time.I have no rights to see them and probably never see them again.Its a big consideration to date someone with kids. The problem I'm finding most women I have met on pof with kids is they want me to give up my life on the first phone call to raise there kids for them.I'm not having that.A relationship has to develop first before I even consider being dad.I also won't stand for anyone that expect money out of me to help do it.I do things for people because I like to do nice things not because they expect them. As a whole I have no problems with kids at all but it all depends on the mother.What kind of person and parent she is depends if I'm willing to give it a chance.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Question on how to tell your date... Posted: 6/28/2009 7:26:06 PM
I'm not so petty to judge a woman negativly because she orders from the kids menu.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Why Are Men Over 30 Drama Shy? Posted: 6/28/2009 10:20:57 AM
What drama means to me.When a girl goes on all about how much she hates drama usually means shes the number on cause of it.My last long term relationship my ex was the drama queen.It took me a while to figure it out because she was never honest and that where all the drama came from.She lied to me,her friends and her family about anything and everything.From the big to to the small it was always a lie.and when she was caught in the lie she would try turning it all around to make the victim the bad guy.I started witnessing the behavior when she let her gaurd down and got sloppy. Then I realized I was being lied to also.It was way worse than I could of imagined what Icaught her lying about to me.I won't go into pointless detail, but people that cause drama tend to be liars and do other multiple bad behavior on top of it.They usually tend to blame others and turn others against each other. Drama is life so you have to expect some things are not always perfect.The normal type of drama usually doesnt last long and can be figured out.Its the habitual offenders that most men and women refer to and worry about.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 27 (view)

Does This Happen to Anyone Else? Posted: 6/28/2009 10:10:57 AM
Personally I enjoy the forums.I don't really look at the profiles that much anymore gets boring.Even if I meet the right one I'll still use the forums,I'll just remove my pictures and text from my profile so i can still just post here.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 16 (view)

Do you think that you're pickier on the net than in everyday life? Posted: 6/28/2009 9:08:08 AM
I joined hoping to meet someone out of the area I live in or hang out.I will say I do meet better quality women in person than on here. Since I live in a small town I don't like the small town b.s. that goes along with meeting a girl near here.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

How does a woman keep her class but attract a man on a dating site. Posted: 6/27/2009 11:37:56 PM
I say be yourself.Only present your self in a way that shows what you want or looking for.I look at the whole package;pictures,stats and what you write.I rather have a acurate look of a peron so I know if she might be write for me.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 137 (view)

For those that have been married before - would you do it again? Posted: 6/27/2009 10:28:51 PM
Still on the fence about it.I won't say yes and I won't say no.Only time will tell.I guess it depends on who I ever meet and how I feel at that time.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 25 (view)

Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men? Posted: 6/27/2009 10:06:52 PM
I guess if the man is the only one working all day and bringing in all the money.Then the wife stays home all day.Its her job to cook and clean. If both are working equal parts then the house work should be done in equal parts.If the woman works and the man dont its his job to take care of the house.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men? Posted: 6/27/2009 7:01:15 PM
Cleaning is not a big deal as long as my partner is willing to split chores.Somethings I prefer to do myself. Cooking I can cook but only a handful of things and I cook like a guy.I really don't like to cook at all and I'm limited on my skills.It would be nice to find a good women to cook 70% of the time.I'm a very compromising person when it comes to this kind of stuff. Everything can be worked out among to two grown adults willing to make a comprimise about chores.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 28 (view)

Do you hold back in forums to improve your profile? Posted: 6/27/2009 3:40:36 PM
No I say what I think.If someone doesn't like my views in the forums I guess it saves someones and my time.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 21 (view)

Do men really like tatoos on women (lots of them or 1 or 2?) Posted: 6/27/2009 3:34:09 PM
I really think there sexy on women but, depends what,where and how big they are.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

Dateing at 35 Posted: 6/27/2009 3:24:06 PM
You need to keep in mind meeting someone over night rarely ever happens.It might take a few months or years.Try to hard and it will blow up in your face.Take it in stride and just live your life.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

Advice Posted: 6/26/2009 4:18:27 PM
Patients is key to all relationships.A good mother will take things slowly at first with someone new.If you really like her take your time and be patient.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar? Posted: 6/26/2009 3:50:20 PM
I know exactly what you mean.Your realtionship sounds like my last one. It really wears you out fast and takes a lot out of you.I feel for anyone that gets involved with anyone like this.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Lower Standards For Free Dating Sites? Posted: 6/26/2009 3:46:00 PM
I have been on a few pay sites before I found this one.I have met more nicer people here.The funny thing is a lot of the same people are on here as the other sites.I wouldn't recommend the pay sites.Especially the amount of other I reconize from other sites on here. The number one thing that hurts dating sites,is people recently out of a bad relationship.People need to wait and cool down a few month a few years before dating again.I was even guilty of it at some point.I wasn't ready to date again a year ago took sometime to realize that.There are going to be a few game player or bad people on a site like this.All in all most of us are good people that have been burned pretty bad at some point.Sometimes that interfers with meeting others.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 49 (view)

You know you're getting old when ... Posted: 6/26/2009 10:40:29 AM
I have dated a girl that I was the same age as their step dad.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

what to say.. Posted: 6/25/2009 11:23:22 PM
Personally I really dislike emails or texting.If someone doesn't wanna talk right away on the phone probably a waste of time for me.I can email for weeks on end and spend 5 min on the phone and not like someone.Then on my end I'm just terrible at composing an email.How I sound in a email and how I talk in person is completely different. My opinion is shit or get off the pot.If your going to talk to someone do it right away to save lots of time and possible aggrivation.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 140 (view)

10 yrs and 50 pounds Posted: 6/25/2009 10:02:02 AM
Men and women lie equally it seems.I have told a few of my close female friends about this site and they have the same complaints as I do.It seems most put up old pictures and weight is the biggest lie.Then ages seems to follow.In my past realationship i was lied to extensively so you can say I'll be slightly scared by that.I don't care how cute or nice someone is if I catch them in a lie right away there gone.I can deal with inperfection because I'm realistic.I feel like a very flexable person just be honest.The only major turn offs I have are liars, posesive/controling/****y women and sorry anyone that is grossly over weight.I really have no prefference after that hair color, height,eyes,kids,10 years younger,10 years older, I guess if someone is nice I probably give them a chance.Just dont lie is all I ask.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

The One? Posted: 6/25/2009 9:48:59 AM
Only a girl with patients will think I'm the one.I'm not very good with first impressions. I can't type a email or profile to save my life.I think I rewrite my profile once a day and I still think it sucks lol. In the end I'm perfectly inperfect.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 22 (view)

One for the men out there who think women dont date nice guys Posted: 6/25/2009 12:33:03 AM
No ones that nice.Everyone is a ***hole to some degree or moments.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Is trust dead? Posted: 6/25/2009 12:08:57 AM
Its not just the ladies.I been burned pretty bad a few times.I try to give everyone new a chance.Its always in the back of your mind.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 86 (view)

How has your experience been with POF? Thumbs Up or Down? Posted: 6/24/2009 11:34:42 PM
Foruns are intresting.Doubt I'll meet anyone on here to be a girlfriend.I just dont have what it takes to meet somone online.I do much better in person.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

Just my general opinion through observation. Posted: 6/24/2009 11:33:07 AM
I see so many threads.Most seem to be about why he/she doesnt like me or why he/she is a a**hole.From my own personal experience and from talking to others I think the biggest problem to dating on a site like this is "Time".There are some very good people on this site and most on here have been burned.Men and women alike usually come here in our older age burned from the past and confused on starting dating again.I have talked to many people and I think the biggest issue they have is not waiting long enough to date.I was even guilty of this at some point.I wasn't used to being single and was also bitter from my ex for a while.In short i probably was a ass to a few people that didn't deserve it months and months ago entering the dating world again.I know I probably took it out on a few people.Time has passed a little I learned to have fun being single again.My ex has left me alone and I have a better attitude now.I have talked to women on here and a lot seemed to have suffered from a past relationship and take out on me.I learned from my mistakes and understand better. I'm sure many of these women I speak too are caring indivuals just need more time to heal.There has to be quite a share of users,liars and players.I would just like to think that most are good people on here that just need a little more time to heal and figure things out before they start a relationship.I know I needed to ,just didn't realize that at the time.I do enjoy the forums and I do check my mail but I highly doubt I will meet my future partner on here.I'm sure I'll just bump into them on the street somehwere.I guess I'll never know till it happens.I just a few read this and take it into consideration before jumping out there.We need to be happy with our selves before we can be happy with someone else.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

bi-curious Posted: 6/23/2009 10:32:10 PM
Bi women are worthless.Sorry pick a side and stay with it.Gay /Straight I don't care just pick one and stay there.I have known quite a few and all have the same issues and problems.I just wanna straight girl in my life.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 58 (view)

GF kissed another guy... what do i do? Posted: 6/23/2009 10:28:09 PM
Dump her ass..... quick.Shes worthless and will do it again and again.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 22 (view)

Deal Breaker? Posted: 6/23/2009 10:26:09 PM
1)Liars/Cheaters-been through to much with this so zero tolerence 2)Cleanliness -Bad oder major turn off 3)God complex-sorry no one knows that much about everything 4)Fat-I like curves and someone with a little extra cusion is more than fine but no one big as they are tall. 5)My personal finance and job is no ones business unless I'm in a serious realtionship. In short this is dating not jumping into a relationship.I'm looking to have fun meet someone cool.If your self involved and super judgmental you will not like me and if you are I wont like you.I really dont have many rules or gidelines I shouldnt have too its just dating.Its mostly attitude with me.Personality means everything to me and ****iness and attitude dont fly.I also dont believe in sparks flying or love at first site on a first date.Feelings and love take time and doesnt happen in a few phone calls and a meeting .Thats why I'm friends first and take my time.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 48 (view)

I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me. Posted: 6/23/2009 10:05:49 PM
I have also got quite comfortable being single now.I still get lonely once in a while but I wont just date someone to have someone.I doubt dating sites are good places to meet people, but I do enjoy the forums here.I'm pretty sure I'll just run into someone one day when I'm not looking and bam it will happen.I find a lot (not all ) women have to many issues on dating sites or looking for a meal ticket.So until I find someone thats just easy going and cool ,I will stay happily single.I don't believe in miss right/perfect exist but miss realistic does.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 1692 (view)

so, why are you still single? Posted: 6/9/2009 7:55:45 PM
Honestly I really don't know how dating works these days seems so different than 12 years ago.I also get nervous when I first meet some one and usually talk to much and make myself look dumb.I don't really make a good first impression.Anyone I ever dated for a long time gave me a chance at a second dated.Usually went well from there. Most people wanna see fireworks and sparks the first night.I guess in my mind thats not realistic.A first date is like a job interview at first.Its not usually very comfortable and don't know what to expect.I don't really chase anymore.Seems so many women are pissed off from being pestered by so many men at a time.So I let them find me.I have enough friends and hobbies to keep me busy till the right girl for me comes by.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 86 (view)

are looks everything Posted: 6/7/2009 8:22:13 PM
Looks aren't everything , but on a dating site that's all your going to be judged on till a date. Then your personality gets put to the test.Were all guilty of just skimming pics on here. When you meet in person you can usually spot B.S. right away, but on a dating site people can type all they want and it means nothing.Most of its is probably B.S. anyway. I don't really use the site much anymore because I'm better at meeting people in person. I'm no George Clooney and I'm terrible at typing my thoughts out.I pretty much come back here to read the forums they are pretty entertaining.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

How soon is too soon? Posted: 5/9/2009 12:06:40 AM
Everyone needs time afterwords.I made my mistakes at first too, trying to jump into another relationship to quickly.Only you know when the time is right.Once you realize you don't need someone in your life but ,would like to have someone in your life is when you can start deciding what to do.I think your handling very well with the just friends part.I would redo and specify your situation better in your profile.Most guys don't read it so be ready to block a lot of people at first.Divorce can be very tough on some of us and not sure if you ever fully heal from it.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Going Without Posted: 5/8/2009 11:50:44 PM
Honestly its been a while but, its no big deal.My sex drive isn't as high as it used to be. It means more to me know to connect with someone than just get laid.I guess next relationship I get into, I rather wait till the sexual tension gets so thick you could cut it with a knife.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 39 (view)

what men should do and shouldn't do while dating,a woman. Posted: 5/8/2009 1:09:07 PM
This very self absorbed post focusing on no one else s needs but your own.I wont go down the list but i will make a few points.Dating is dating and nothing more.Until I'm in a relationship I can date as many people as i want.Its just dating.if you have to change someone to be the way you want them to be then they are not the one.People can compromise for each other (making extra time for each other,splitting chores or putting down the toilet seat), but you cant change ones personality.Like you point out blow off ones friends.Hell no.My friends are my friends and i will not ignore any of them.Especially if I'm just "Dating" someone.Dating means nothing at first and means no obligation of any kind. Finally in today's economy maybe you will have to take a guy out and spend some money on him.I'm a home owner that does it all on my own, I'll never be able to afford another super nice date again.Its either something very simple or a movie at my place. If someone thinks that is cheap sorry then maybe I'm not the right guy then.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

I think it is rude to. Posted: 5/7/2009 3:10:56 PM
That's a crappy way to deal with things.It was her preference if she wasn't attracted for some reason and that's ok.At least have the decency to say it to the person your talking to/ dating. Any man or woman that cant end a situation like an adult really isn't mature enough to date no matter what the age.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

Odd Man Out Posted: 5/7/2009 3:04:05 PM
I personally would like to hear" I'm not interested " or" Not a good match".As long as the person is polite about it there should be no issues.Then at least I know, and will not waste anymore of this persons time. Anything else to me can be considered "Playing a game" with someone.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 49 (view)

Total... Posted: 5/6/2009 1:12:06 PM
I'm brutality honest because I lack that filter on my mouth that tells me hey maybe I shouldn't say that. I think it after it was said.So I just say what i think.What ever pops in my head comes out of my mouth.That's brutally honest in my thinking.You can be brutally honest and not be mean.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

OMG!!! Posted: 5/3/2009 6:44:49 PM
Red flag just went up.She has issues and may not be ready for a relationship.As much as you like to meet someone.Ask your self first is she right for me too?Before you proceed exercise patients and wait for the right one and don't settle for the wrong one.No ones perfect but there is such a thing as a terrible match.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 59 (view)

a guy not being able to get off Posted: 5/3/2009 1:48:28 PM
Personally now that I'm more mature.Its hard for me to get off until I'm completely comfortable.Even after that sometimes I can't.Sometimes it stress or I'm real tired.It doesn't bother me a whole lot.It bothers me if I can't get her off more.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

Do we go into[/quote] , knowing that it will end? Posted: 5/1/2009 6:50:22 PM
Personally I don't like many peoples approaches to relationships in this era of dating. I hate short term dating and if I cant see my self with someone for the long term I wont drag it out and hurt someone.I believe marriage is supposed to be forever.I guess if you go into a marriage thinking "If he/she does this I'll divorce him/her."Then you shouldn't get married plain and simple.People screw up make mistakes and we all do wrong in a long term relationship at some point.No matter what if it was my choice i would stay forever.You have to be forgiving and move on sometimes it takes years to fix.Today's attitude is if it cant be fixed over night why fix it?Love and romance are two different things and most people don't realize that.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

If you're happy why do you keep looking at profiles? Posted: 5/1/2009 10:29:29 AM
Until I'm officially in a relationship I will still keep my options open.I might still log on to read the forums.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 64 (view)

30 year old guy dating an 18 year old girl Posted: 4/30/2009 10:03:51 PM
My parents are twelve years apart.My mom was 17 when she met my dad he was 29 they got married when she was 18 and he was 30.They have had they rough times in marriage as many do.To this day they are still married.It doesn't work for everyone but It does and can work.Just depends on the two in the relationship.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 40 (view)

does consistant lateness flag personality problems? Posted: 4/30/2009 1:54:49 PM
Well for me I follow there rules... 1)If its real important I am on time or early 2)If its a party or meeting friends at a bar I hate being the first one there so I'm always an hour late. 3)Dates or meeting a girlfriend i try to be on time but..... sometimes i get lost finding new places or it takes me longer to get ready than i thought it would.Not trying to be an ass just bad judgment.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

Taking it sl-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-w-w-w-w-w-w... Posted: 4/29/2009 10:59:08 PM
Taking things slow to me means waiting for sex.Which i don't have a problem with at all.I'm not here for a booty call.Once i start talking to someone if things don't progress towards dating/ relationship I give up quick.I want to meet someone right away and see if we click and jump into things.Waiting around and drawing out a meeting for weeks and months is a waste of time.I wanna know if were going to like each other right away or not.I guess to me its always applied and worked out that way is the two week rule.If you don't start seeing each other and kinda dating in two weeks from you meet or talk nothing is going to happen. Or your just a friend forever.Women are a kid in a candy store on this site and others like it. So usually taking it slow means" I have lot of options right now and i want to try a lot of them out." A woman like that is no better than the guy looking for just sex in my opinion.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

What do you expect him or her to be by the age of 30. Posted: 4/29/2009 10:48:02 PM
I don't want someone to like me for my house or my cars that's materialistic.I wont even bring it up on a first date.I rather have someone believe I have nothing and like me for me. Instead of taking measurement for where there stuff is going to fit.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 52 (view)

Are you getting tired on Internet Dating too? Posted: 4/29/2009 9:21:10 PM
I don't send many emails out.I'll send a few if someone catches my eye.Besides that women get pestered so much if you really likes me I'll here from her in some form.After trying a few sites this one is my last try.If it don't work I wont waste to much time on it.I'll wait till someone special comes bye in real life.

monty0791

Joined: 4/26/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

Am I right or wrong? Posted: 4/29/2009 8:57:07 PM
RUN AWAY!!! Seriously that's how my ex wife was.There were a few guys that would disrespect me like that.They knew she was married called all the time trying to get her to come out.Grabbing on her at the bars and when I mentioned my concern.Its was my fault and i was In the wrong.I got the line"They were my friends before i knew you so get used to it."then one night after a argument she was sneaking them into the house to sleep with them when i was home passed out and caught them.Hence my divorce. Don't talk to that girl anymore its only trouble.Find someone that will respect you.That's what I'm waiting to find.

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