So he/she USED to be Gay/Lesbian! Would you still date them? chat & forums.

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chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 39 (view)

So he/she USED to be Gay/Lesbian! Would you still date them? Posted: 11/3/2009 3:38:18 PM
"Chip1331: You don't care because you hope to get some extra action or you truly don't give a sh!t about the marriage? How can you not care if your WIFE is sleeping with other people.?" Neither. It is not something I would encourage or prefer, but I'd be tolerant if she wanted purely sexual relationships with other women. I'd be completely faithful by any definition as I have no interest in having sex with men and neither of us would be getting hetero with anyone else, so I'd hardly say I wouldn't give a shit about the marriage. It's a matter of her preferences and this is something that simply would not bother me.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

Body Type -- Prefer Not to say Posted: 11/3/2009 3:23:35 PM
"I have seen some absolutely stunning women from the shoulders up only to find the hips and backside REALLY large." Potentially a pleasant surprise in my book . . . well, if it's more from the waist down anyway.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 103 (view)

Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's? Posted: 11/3/2009 3:19:04 PM
I have a few months left before I hit 30, but I can't imagine dating could get any worse than its already been for me.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 210 (view)

Dating Male Virgins Posted: 11/3/2009 3:01:07 PM
I don't really think it's a fair point of criticism. Personally, I would never have had sex with anyone if I hadn't put a lot of effort into it and, in retrospect, none of my past relationships were worthwhile. So, in all honesty, a bi-product of living life more wisely than I did would be virginity. Should I be faulted in that instance? Also consider that my other option would have been to pursue purely sexual relationships seeing as they would not have taken a toll on me emotionally, so are we advocating that now or what?

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

When do you tell? Posted: 11/3/2009 1:59:14 PM
I think it should either be in the profile or you should just take a break from dating sites. It's asking a lot of someone, before they even know you, to work towards a relationship, no matter how preliminary those first steps are, without knowledge of what they're getting into. Also, a lot of people will act against their better judgment when they're already fond of someone; don't take advantage of that.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

What is it with men & sexually liberated women Posted: 11/3/2009 1:29:08 PM
That sort of depends on how you define sexually liberated. If it boils down to postponing the confines of a committed relationship or pursuing purely sexual relationships then I think there's just as much cause for paranoia as women have with how they think all men behave. On the other hand, if it's simply an inclination towards copious and adventurous sex within a committed relationship, that's fine.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

Deafness Posted: 11/3/2009 12:56:50 PM
Withholding information will invariably hurt you eventually. I wouldn't say deafness is an overt turn-off, although it's generally going to be a negative quality of subjective size.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

Unsure if she's interested... Posted: 11/3/2009 11:17:45 AM
I don't think she's interested. As to the bored thing. Women, for whatever reason, like to portray themselves as having a lot going on because they think it makes them more interesting to a man. You know, because that's what they'd find interesting in a man. So I think by portraying her life as boring, she's trying to make you disinterested or something to that effect. You could just bite the bullet and ask her out on a date though and possibly prove all this wrong.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 48 (view)

Why do men have to see you before trying to get to know you? Posted: 11/3/2009 11:10:38 AM
Women do the same thing. I've had women want to talk on the phone immediately because they don't think talking here is an adequate medium. I've had women want to meet ASAP because they can't determine whether they'd click with someone just by talking remotely. I've had women demand impromptu photos to prove I look how I look in my profile. Et Cetera

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 51 (view)

Guys, Is It An Urban Myth Or Are Women With Tats Easier Than Women With None? Posted: 11/3/2009 10:38:04 AM
It's not a cause and effect thing nor would a woman become more sexually available for sake of having a tattoo. However, would a study find a correlation between a frivolous adornment and sexual availability? Yes.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 236 (view)

what do men consider overweight? Posted: 11/3/2009 10:29:35 AM
It's more about the ratios than the weight itself as well as where women carry that weight. If losing weight would result in a less disparate waist to hip ratio, said woman probably shouldn't bother to lose weight. Also keep in mind women routinely lie about weight so unless the guy is a doctor or coaches women's wrestling or something, he's not generally going to have a lucid idea of what a woman actually weighs.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 18 (view)

Stereotypical Women Posted: 11/3/2009 9:59:10 AM
Bonnie by a mile. What exactly is the point of being involved with Ivana? Bonnie might be a handful but at least one can have an actual relationship with her.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

Can someone please translate what he said to me? Posted: 10/19/2009 11:50:19 AM
Saying you have potential sounds like something a lecherous casting director would say. He probably IS a player.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

Why do guys say they will do something then not do it? Posted: 10/19/2009 11:25:10 AM
Actually, I've had a lot of women chat with me who forget that they never revealed their name. After a while it feels awkward to say "what's your name?" after you've already been talking about more elaborate things. Asking for the name in conjunction with the phone number, albeit for a second time, would be a good opportunity to do that. So that could be it too. I wouldn't call someone who never told me her name.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 155 (view)

Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor? Posted: 10/19/2009 11:09:54 AM
No, shyness isn't a gender-specific problem. However, all it takes to break a guy out of his shell is one interested woman. Conversely, women often need to be at the top of the food chain for this and they also are not satisfied with explicitly sexual interest either. The fact remains, however, you either were pursued or would have been eventually pursued by some guy, shy or not. Therein lies the difference. I'm not saying that women never take the initiative and it's cool that you did--sort of--there but it's nowhere on the same scale as what any given guy has to do. It's also cool that you worked out of your shyness, but again, you really don't have to as a woman.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

new search by personality Posted: 10/19/2009 10:47:32 AM
I can't really appraise it because nobody I match with returns my messages.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 1408 (view)

What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart?? Posted: 10/19/2009 10:04:30 AM
"I am wanting everyones views on suicide over a broken heart. " Well, when you're dead you won't care what the views of others are.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

How do you tell when a guy is really interested in you? Posted: 10/19/2009 9:50:17 AM
You can't. If a guy is genuinely interested in you, he still wants to get you into bed.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Why do guys say they will do something then not do it? Posted: 10/19/2009 9:44:33 AM
For the same reason women do it. Wanna try answering that one?

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

Am I being stupid? Posted: 10/19/2009 9:38:02 AM
You shouldn't use inaccurate pictures of yourself in your profile. Besides, it could work both ways. Some guys might prefer the old you and will be less interested after seeing the recent pictures. As to married men, think about it. It really has nothing to do with you specifically, it's just that married men who are on this site are going to be more frivolous about messaging people in general than someone whose actually taking this seriously so EVERY woman is going to be hearing from these guys regardless of how they are selling themselves.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 152 (view)

Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor? Posted: 10/19/2009 9:03:36 AM
"Being shy in your 20s - What did you do to try and get past that shyness? I was extremely shy and introverted at one time, and I made a concerted effort to get past it... and now, most people who know me don't believe me when I tell them I was a shy introvert at one time." I don't think this is an aspect a woman really should be at liberty to criticize. Even if you never overcame shyness, that isn't going to stop guys from pursuing you. Guys aren't pursued. The only way a guy can get any positive reinforcement is if he basically goes around asking for it. It's like if you had to go around asking random guys if they found you attractive. I doubt you have, as that would be silly. On top of that imagine you're also extremely ugly. That's basically what guys have to go through, even if they're gorgeous. It's a rare woman who could do the same without developing some sort of disorder.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 114 (view)

The unoffical rules of dating a single mother. Posted: 10/19/2009 8:47:09 AM
Yeah, that's the thing. Unless you are looking for a temporary FWB or someone to take you to dinner for awhile and aren't actually looking for something permanent with that man, the kids are very relevant financially and emotionally, whether or not you expect the man to directly pay for them or be a father figure. The other problem is the defensiveness involved. Somehow it's made out to be a crime if a guy doesn't want to date single mothers when he has no children of his own. It's not that guys are attacking single mothers, it's that these exchanges are prompted by single mothers complaining that their options are limited and they generally proceed to state that they don't want to date ANOTHER parent and fail to see the hypocrisy there. Even if they say they're open to it, it still usually winds up that way. Single mothers do generally wind up with guys without previous children of their own. So these women can say they're open to dating guys with children all they like, but the general trend doesn't lean in that direction, even if you include non-custodial single fathers in the picture. So, the issue isn't that guys are bashing single mothers, it's that they're reacting to being bashed for not pursuing them or having an aversion to their situation. We all make mistakes in our lives, some of those effect others down the road, some don't. And you should be able to come to terms with that without having to look at your kids AS mistakes either. I certainly would like to have had kids by this point in my life, but if I did, I wouldn't operate under the delusion that I'm not less appealing for sake of that detail.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 27 (view)

So he/she USED to be Gay/Lesbian! Would you still date them? Posted: 10/19/2009 8:08:36 AM
Frankly, I've never heard of a guy who "used to be gay." If a guy is making that claim which isn't uncommon . . . as a claim anyway, he's just opted to pretend to be straight in order to fit in. You can't expect this guy to actually have romantic feelings for you if you're a woman; he's faking because he wants to have kids or something like that. On the other hand, plenty of women switch around although the charade there is that they were lesbians in the first place when they were just indiscriminate seekers of romantic attention--bisexual if you like--and eventually realized it still makes more sense for them to wind up with a man considering they don't especially need some spiritual link with another woman. On top of that, most guys don't really care either. If/when I get married, my wife is welcome to get nasty with other women if she wants. Obviously, I'd appreciate caution regarding STDs that I don't deserve to be exposed to, but beyond that, whatever.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 135 (view)

So he has been in prison so what right? Posted: 10/19/2009 7:54:35 AM
"Im worried about telling my family my boyfriend is a recently released convict." I'd be more worried about dating a recently released convict. Dump him. Let him find another criminal to date.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 139 (view)

At what age do you Just Give Up? Posted: 10/19/2009 7:51:40 AM
I'm not even quite 30 yet and I'm already thinking of giving up. I really wanted to sort of grow up with my significant other in addition to growing old with her. I can't do that anymore and I don't feel I can have a meaningful relationship because of that, just a tepid arrangement devoid of emotion.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 88 (view)

Fear of Date Rape..... Posted: 10/19/2009 7:48:17 AM
Simple solution: Date guys you want to have sex with. Also carry mace.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 148 (view)

Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor? Posted: 10/19/2009 7:38:21 AM
I'm not really "older" but I probably will wind up being so before I ever get married, if I ever do. I also HATE being single and have enough good sense not to throw myself into one "because I don't want to be alone" relationship after another. So, this stigma does disturb me because the last thing my bachelor status should cause me is more barriers than I already have to deal with. A lot of us bachelors aren't living it up out on our own and women need to be more receptive to that.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 93 (view)

GIRLS AND TATTOOS Posted: 10/19/2009 7:31:41 AM
Seeing as people aren't born with tattoos, they are essentially making a statement. If someone doesn't appreciate that statement, that's not something to be held against them. Personally, I don't dislike tattoos on a woman, but if they aren't generally covered up by clothing, they do send a message to others that I'm not necessarily going to want to be part of. Secondly, who are the guys who would be scared to date a woman with lots of tattoos anyway? I find it hard to believe that these women want guys without tattoos of their own in the first place. I mean, there are plenty of women with something like a heart on their ankle who dig guys whose entire torsos are inked-up so I really find it hard to believe a woman whose into more comprehensive body art would be interested in a guy who wasn't himself covered in tattoos. Plus, some guys can't pull off the look. A tattoo would look really stupid on me just as I'd look ridiculous if I shaved my head. And that's because of how I was born, not because of something I deliberately did to myself. So anyway, people need to be tolerant in both directions.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

what does 'dating' actually mean to a guy? Posted: 10/19/2009 7:13:36 AM
To me, a guy who is looking for dating simply enjoys dating and wants to meet numerous women with no solid interest in a real relationship. People should be listing their wants on this site in accordance with the furthest step they would hypothetically like to get to with someone they meet here. If they would hypothetically want a LTR, they should have that checked.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 16 (view)

Do you believe in being friends first? Posted: 10/19/2009 7:05:29 AM
Being friends first is logical in theory, but the problem is when, and this is almost always the case, you haven't been consistent about doing that in the past. If a person has the impression that you've approached passed relationships with more initial gusto and then want to put him/her under some sort of trial friendship, they aren't going to find that fair since they aren't responsible for your past mistakes and shouldn't be treated worse than those other people you were involved with. Even if they see your logic, that's what the sentiment is going to be unless they also want to change tactics as well. Otherwise, it's a bit like reclaiming one's virginity and expecting to be taken seriously.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 315 (view)

Does this change your mind about spanking your child? Posted: 10/19/2009 6:44:45 AM
Well, that's a pretty goofy study. There are so many variables where the "effect" here is actually the cause. In the socio-economic categories where the average IQ is higher, kids generally aren't physically punished. Also, smart kids, while capable of being quite naughty, are certainly going to be better at avoiding getting in trouble or at least talking their way out of it, feigning remorse, etc. Furthermore, dumb kids have dumb parents that aren't likely to be able to employ psychological discipline. Yet another issue is family communication. A stimulating early childhood would positively effect IQ to some extent and would include a better network of communication over wrong-doings than spanking. The same thing could be applied better to children who are given some room to argue with their parents, within reason, than children who are just told to be quiet and do as they're told. That's what they should have done the study on, considering it's more arbitrary; most parents don't want their kids to be argumentative, but it's actually helpful for their development. On the other hand, most parents already feel bad about spanking and don't need the extra reinforcement there. Frankly, the study that implies that smoking raises one's IQ is more compelling than this. And yeah, that's as ridiculous as it sounds. Basically, what's going on there is that people with a lot of stress are more likely to smoke and stress generally correlates with intelligence somewhat. Does that mean smoking makes someone smarter? No.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Grief turning to anger Posted: 10/19/2009 6:22:12 AM
"I said give me your stone i will lay ot down for you, she hurled it at the grave and turned her back." If that were a scene from a movie, I'd assume your late husband abused her sexually, especially considering the seemingly random timing of it all. Not saying that was necessarily what was going on, but, on the other hand, the non-relation sentiment generally does not come up as a means of dealing with someone you actually miss. I mean, it's one thing to lash out at someone with that ammo when they're present, but after the fact like this . . . it's different. Feel free to disregard that entirely though; I don't know enough of the situation to make a valid appraisal and that's just my callous first impression. What I will say though, is that I think you should allow her to deal with his death however she'd like to rather than try to reinforce a bond with his memory that she really shouldn't be obligated to have. His importance to her is really based on her perception of it. If she comes around on her own and genuinely wants to remember him as a father that's fine. If she doesn't . . . well, he wasn't her father anyway. But please don't impose a sentiment on her just because that's how you think she should feel or how you thought she had felt in the past.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 306 (view)

why are hot guys so mean ???? Posted: 10/19/2009 5:38:48 AM
Well, I'm not a hot guy, but I do know quite a few of them and here's my take: Yeah, hot women CAN have any man they want, but hot guys really can't. The problem is that women assume that these guys can have any woman they want (besides themselves) and react accordingly. The result is that these hot guys are up against more barriers that other guys don't really have to deal with. They often have to work harder than less attractive guys and they are aware enough of their own attractiveness to know there's a problem there. Basically, they DO get lots of positive reinforcement to build up their egos, but it's generally from women who aren't on the market or are older or just aren't looking for a relationship OR it's from gay men, who have no qualms about openly praising male beauty. So basically, these hot guys have a lot of women telling them they're hot in one way or another, but none of those women are actually interested in them. And then those who are don't send any signals at all because they're intimidated and the hot guys are pretty much left to just figure out which women to pursue, without any prompting whatsoever, half of which are going to be flighty because they don't think the guy is genuinely interested because he's "hot."

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 40 (view)

Would you guys date a woman with an intellectual disability Posted: 10/19/2009 5:20:33 AM
This is one of those hypotheticals that would really need to be put to the test. If I had a good rapport with a woman and later discovered she was autistic, it wouldn't really impact on how I felt about her. That said, I doubt I'd have good rapport, in a romantic sense, with someone who was autistic, based on what I know of the social issues of it. Also, I don't really know what other sorts of disabilities we're talking about here. Autism is one thing; autistic people can be very smart. On the other hand, I don't see how I'd have a meaningful connection with someone who basically was either unintelligent or missing one essential cognitive component or another. It doesn't make for good conversation when I want to talk about politics and she wants to talk about ice-cream and trains.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 92 (view)

Why don't men date single mothers...the answer Posted: 10/18/2009 8:13:44 PM
The people that really irk me are single parents who won't date other single parents, especially when they turn around and lash out at people who won't date them because they have kids. To me, it's mainly about lifestyle comparability and also the notion that what you go through in life prior to meeting your true love, if there is such a thing, takes away from that love.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 50 (view)

I love you, but I have to leave you.... Posted: 9/7/2009 6:03:05 PM
"I love you but I want someone who is not a lying, cheating back stabbing perverted girl crazy manipulative jerk." Which is what I had in my mind when I spoke of leaving guys who weren't bad people in the first sentence. This person is bad and shouldn't be loved.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

The Coffee Date Posted: 9/7/2009 1:26:57 PM
Adding more elaborate activities to a date doesn't really tell the people involved any more about the person they're dating. I can sit down with someone for coffee and we can talk for hours if we want, or decide to go somewhere else on the spot. If I make dinner reservations and get tickets to the opera, we'll probably have 30 minutes of conversation before dinner and before the show and only afterward if things went really well. Plus if someone you're dating expects more things, then they like dating way too much for its own sake.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 20 (view)

how to express a girl you wanna Make Love with her? Posted: 9/7/2009 1:18:16 PM
As Jack Nicholson would say: "Look, I'm trying to be a gentleman about this. Just get down on your hands and knees and stick your ass in the air."

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 47 (view)

I love you, but I have to leave you.... Posted: 9/7/2009 1:15:18 PM
Here's something helpful. When a woman leaves a man that she loves, and it's not for some really good reason insofar as he isn't a bad person for some reason or another, it's because of something shallow. Own up to it and it will make things easier for everybody. You're lying to yourself with the whole bit about how someone looks at you and that sort of thing. Try these: "I love you but I want someone who makes more money." "I love you but I want someone who is more attractive." "I love you but I want someone who will be more impressive to others."

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

Whats up with men who kiss on the first date? Posted: 9/7/2009 12:56:39 PM
A guy who is relentlessly trying to steal a kiss is one thing, can't speak for those. However, if a woman isn't interested in kissing me on the first date, that will be the last date as well. I don't humor the game of feigning disinterest.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 113 (view)

now I have herpes Posted: 9/6/2009 5:28:35 PM
It guess I'm in the minority if the majority of men all did something wrong to be broken up with and didn't want to be with the woman who dumped them in the first place. I devote my life to people I'm involved with, it's perfectly normal for me to want those who spit on me after that to be struck with bad karma. I don't like to see people rewarded for making poor choices.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 16 (view)

Guilt from the past Posted: 9/5/2009 9:51:43 PM
How does having an abusive ex constitute a bad thing SHE did and why should she feel guilty about doing drugs or attempting suicide? She's the victim in all those instances.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 149 (view)

Why do some men believe receiving anal from a female is a homosexual act? Do you like it? Posted: 9/5/2009 9:48:36 PM
It's arbitrary, but I'd say the weirdness increases with the presence of periphery. That said, I did fail to acknowledge the giving aspect of pleasure in this instance. I enjoy foreplay on a psychological level for that reason even though it does little for me physically.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 27 (view)

What's the reward for Chivalry? Posted: 9/5/2009 9:00:46 PM
Why don't I know? Hell, why be so abrasive to me? Bad things happen to good people, m'dear, and I've continually been shown that my good intentions and efforts have done nothing but set me beneath those without morals or respect for others.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 25 (view)

What's the reward for Chivalry? Posted: 9/5/2009 8:52:09 PM
Really? So you think the awareness that one is doing the right thing somehow compensates for the lack of anyone there to appreciate it?

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 18 (view)

What's the reward for Chivalry? Posted: 9/5/2009 8:28:06 PM
The reward for chivalry is loneliness.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 45 (view)

Sex while talking? Posted: 9/5/2009 8:26:59 PM
Little known fact: auctioneers are often being fellated behind the podium.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 147 (view)

Why do some men believe receiving anal from a female is a homosexual act? Do you like it? Posted: 9/5/2009 8:03:40 PM
A better question is why would a woman enjoy giving anal to a man? To begin with, they lack an appropriately-fashioned erogenous zone to perform this and therefore need to use something else. As a result, whatever enjoyment they derive from it is based around some psychological pleasure in role-reversal and/or emasculation. It's also very impersonal when the people involved don't even have the right kind of equipment to make a physical connection in doing it. Oh, and I don't consider it a homosexual act. Homosexuals are awesome. This is just weird.

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Belief in traditional gender roles... Posted: 9/5/2009 7:42:58 PM
June had Ward wrapped around her finger; look closer. Women have subtly ruled the world since the beginning of time through "domestic behavior." Didn't anybody give you the memo?

chip1331

Joined: 4/27/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

Bring it on!!! ... smiles Posted: 9/5/2009 7:31:20 PM
I guess you're joking. I can't think of one thing your profile is lacking.

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