People With No Conversation Skills chat & forums.

online dating service

REGISTER | MAIL/PROFILE | HELP | NOW ONLINE | SEARCH | RATING | FORUMS | SUCCESS STORIES

Posted In Forum:

Home

login

Show ALL Forums

Author

Thread: People With No Conversation Skills

Joined: 4/28/2009

Msg: 69 (view)

People With No Conversation Skills Posted: 11/9/2009 10:37:53 AM
The education in the US is definitely not the highest ranking in the world, but if you intend to appear above it I suggest you try to make your post a little less grammatically incorrect. That's just the pot calling the kettle black. It just common sense no interest then don't reply at all if your interested reply with something meaning and just like the other person ask a question back. If you are getting short responses, it has nothing to do with the senders' intelligence, persay. It could very well be that they are attempting to be polite and respond to you since you obviously took some time to send them a message, but they just aren't interested enough to create a thoughtful response back and are hoping to turn you away without being mean or blunt. Yes, it would be nice if everyone wrote back even a simple "Sorry, not interested," but in some cases that can open up another can of worms and instigate harassment. It's better than "Read Deleted," isn't it? They aren't replying with something meaningful = they aren't interested. You said it all yourself.

Joined: 4/28/2009

Msg: 23 (view)

My friend and I love the same girl Posted: 11/9/2009 10:31:15 AM
Dibs??? Really??? I think you're a little old to be playing games like that. Who cares what he called: you like her, go after her! Play dirty, tell her she's not the only one and let her decide what she wants to do. Maybe if she doesn't like it she'll cry on your shoulder and you'll have your chance. Letting your feelings get bottled up inside because your friend "called" her is probably the dumbest thing to do. And if he's a good friend, he'll get over it. It's not as though he doesn't have someone to fall back on.

Joined: 4/28/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Non-Smoker, But No Must Not Smoke Posted: 11/1/2009 10:35:44 AM
I don't smoke anymore, and I while I would probably have a problem with a heavy smoker (the smell nauseates me) I don't find it necessary to say that. I don't want to eliminate someone I might get along with because they indulge every once in a while. The definitions on what constitutes a smoker I think are kind of vague. Some people will try to put it into black and white terms, and are quite rigid on that ...but there are "smokers" (those who smoke more than a pack a week, and HAVE to have that cigarette) and then there are people who smoke with with groups, or on certain occasions, or bum a cig from a friend with they're stressed; they don't need a smoke but it's nice every once in a while. That doesn't bother me. It's like having a drink on occasion: both are "bad" for you, but we still do them anyway. So, I guess, no we don't simply forget. If people are really upset about an occasional indulgence they WILL list it, trust me. If they don't list it, they probably don't have a problem with it enough for it to be worth typing.

Joined: 4/28/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

being stalked by bf's co-worker(REAL PROBLEM) Posted: 10/18/2009 6:38:48 AM
Have your boyfriend tell his employer what this jackass has done, as that's a breach of security/privacy; and YES!!!! file a report with the police. There's no excuse for what he's doing, it's harassing behaviour and considering how quickly it's escalated there's a good chance it will also swiftly turn to violence. Do NOT warn him, or he might try to stop you in anyway possible. Get a restraining order as well ASAP; if he is fired for what he's done chances are he'll blame you instead of himself. And buy some pepper spray.

Joined: 4/28/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

Do women really not get this? I can't believe they don't. Posted: 10/15/2009 8:38:29 AM
Well, yes! Otherwise we wouldn't be asking! I mean, no matter how many times it happens...things are going great, you like this person and they give you no hint that they're going to just suddenly stop acknowledging your existence...we're still left wondering if we effed up or if the other guy is just an arserag. Each case can have it's own set of reasons as to why it happened. Not to mention wondering why he didn't have the balls to just say: "Hey, this isn't working for me..." But we need to know so we can find indicators of such BS, or our own faults, in the future.

Joined: 4/28/2009

Msg: 18 (view)

Should I have told her? Posted: 10/4/2009 5:14:15 AM
I'm so sorry this happened to you! I know that panicked feeling...where you kind of want to just get up and run for your life but can't because socially it's impolite? However, I will note I've been in situations like this before and...much like Halfwaydad said...the couple, not just the husband, was propositioning me. I didn't know it at the time, but I was watching a friends' band play and since they thought we were together, after his set they asked his permission to take me home with them for some 'fun.' He was decent enough to play along and say no, but give me hell about it for the next few months. I'm guessing the same thing happened to you. The fact that he didn't start until his wife sat down makes me think that it was some sort of approval from the wife, and had you stood up and asked what was going on you would have been told and maybe asked. And he probably assumed you knew, which is why he was staring the rest of the evening. Maybe his wife was a hard one to please when it came to inviting the third in, and he didn't want to let you go!!

Joined: 4/28/2009

Msg: 16 (view)

Do gals have a different definition of smoking? Posted: 9/30/2009 5:31:50 PM
It's not contradictory, it's common sense. Just because a person occasionally lights up does not mean they are a smoker. A smoker is an addict, someone who can't quit, won't quit, and needs that fix. Having a cigarette once a year for celebrations or whatever does not make a person a smoker. And Occasionally suggests much more than that once a month social cigarette. Just because something is technically true doesn't mean that categorizing someone who smokes a cigar once a year the same as a person who even has a pack a week makes any sense.

Joined: 4/28/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

Do gals have a different definition of smoking? Posted: 9/30/2009 3:52:37 PM
Do you really care so much about smoking if it is on special events or "once in a blue moon?" People are supposed to relax on occasion, and that might include partaking in a cigarette. And is having a cigarette or two every month because they went out with friends, is that really worth chastising them over? They aren't lying, they just don't smoke enough to define themselves as even an occasional smoker. They don't need cigarettes, they just enjoy them in the right setting. It's not a black and white issue. If they answer "Yes" or even "Occasionally" to some people it's like smoking a pack a week or more and it might not be the case. You would have to put a number on the label. I know guys who are not smokers but occasionally have a cigar with the guys...they don't reek of smoke on a daily basis. Technically, yes, it is occasional smoking. However, it's illogical to define someone as a smoker if they light up once in a blue moon. Lots of people have had and might continue to have a cigarette in their lives. It's nothing worth getting worked up about.

Joined: 4/28/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

confused and hard headed :( Posted: 9/27/2009 2:21:26 PM
First off...you're 25. That means you have opportunities to get some education so that when you're asking questions like this others can understand you and not be boggled by your run on sentences. Secondly...it will NEVER happen. You're going to be hurt and confused and that's natural. But ask yourself if you'd rather be hurt and confused because of him and remain that way, because he'll never change; or if you'd rather be hurt and confused because you made the right decision and ran far away from this guy, and will later on find someone who appreciates you and really does commit to you and will make you forget this loser and all the hurt? Be smart: leave the loser now and find what you're looking for. In the immortal words of Madonna (snickers) "Don't go for second best, baby..."

Joined: 4/28/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

How to get guys over the looks phase? Posted: 9/26/2009 6:13:34 PM
You know, you could just ignore guys like that. Of course everyone on this site is going to be looking at pictures to see if there could be a physical attraction, it's basic human nature, but if that's all a guy appears to be into they aren't worth a response. Why even give them a time frame when it is merely wasting yours?

Joined: 4/28/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

More than you expected Posted: 9/26/2009 1:08:31 PM
Twice, actually. I don't know if they just had bad profile pictures or didn't do a good job at describing themselves, or something...but when I met them in person it was like "Whoa, hiya stranger!"

Joined: 4/28/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

Girls and guys they choose Posted: 9/21/2009 7:18:05 AM
You're meeting the wrong girls if this is all you see from them. Some of us do have standards...and the girls you're meeting probably don't have any for themselves if they do this. I mean, the reverse of the question could be asked as in: why do decent guys always seem to fall for the effed up whores who never want to be anything more than friends (but still lead the nice guy on) because they're out screwing every drug-addicted, jobless, uneducated loser? And, they'll also go whine to the nice guy who sticks with them nearly as a way to taunt them. Psychologically, in both cases it's probably because the nice guy and the idiot girl feel they can fix the other person, even though chances are they'll never change.

Joined: 4/28/2009

Msg: 38 (view)

Can you handle me? Posted: 9/20/2009 12:18:53 PM
Whenever I read that "can you handle me?" BS I interpret it (probably correctly) as "I'm kind of a jackass and have screwed over every woman I've ever been with...unfortunately I haven't quite realized the main reason why all my past relationships haven't worked out, or even ended cordially, is because I'm a douche. So therefore, I just say those other women couldn't handle me (which is only part of the truth) to make myself seem more macho." Sorry for the bitter cynic response (there's actually no personal reasoning behind it!); I would avoid any man who uses that line like the plague. They really shouldn't be handled.

Joined: 4/28/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

Cell phones and the first date Posted: 9/20/2009 10:16:01 AM
I bring my cell phone along in case whoever I'm with is beyond creepy. It's a safety thing and it's nice that my flatmates check in on me at least once to make sure I'm still alive and well. This means that, yes, I have to respond at least once to let them know I'm okay. In this day and age, I don't think that's unreasonable for either gender. However, what you describe is a bit extreme. There is no excuse beyond emergencies or crucial situations where the person you're with needs to constantly be on the phone (texting or talking). I think that's just rude. I've had that issue with one guy...but he turned out to be okay otherwise and I sort of looked past it. It could be my age though. I'm used to people being "connected" all the time.

Joined: 4/28/2009

Msg: 40 (view)

Texting over Calling or Both?? Posted: 9/20/2009 7:02:33 AM
I actually prefer a man text me as opposed to calling. I can't always run to the phone to answer it...but a text message is always there for me to read. Besides, if it's a cute one, I can read it a few times for a smile I don't know why every one thinks texting (not overly so) is so wrong? I've been told that texting during a date is rude as well...but I try to answer at least one text because I know my flatmates are going to be wondering if I'm okay with potentially creepy guy I met off the internet (it does happen!). I think people need to relax about texting a bit.

Joined: 4/28/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

ladies i need your ideas please. Posted: 8/2/2009 7:35:16 PM
Artist 48 gave a good one...Scottish and Irish art I find are great for inspiration. Might I suggest looking at pictures of Roslyn Chapel? Yes, it was made famous by Grail legends and The Da Vinci Code, but even without that story it is a masterful work of art in itself, it's covered in stone carvings that are breathtaking. Also perhaps look at some German or Nordic art?

Joined: 4/28/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

What do you think? Posted: 7/30/2009 1:45:44 PM
Wow. That's just rude on his part. Sorry for your experience, hon!

Joined: 4/28/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Contacting the same user again. Posted: 7/30/2009 1:43:04 PM
Don't do it. From my perspective, if I don't respond it's 1) because I'm just not interested, or 2) because even though I read the email I haven't had a chance to write back yet. If it's the latter, getting that second email will force the person into the first category. I don't like being badgered.

Joined: 4/28/2009

Msg: 27 (view)

Worst Date. Ever. Posted: 7/24/2009 2:52:53 PM
Jees, that almost sounds like a set up for Punk'd. That's how bad it is, so sorry, dude!

Joined: 4/28/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Whats it really mean when a woman says she needs time? Posted: 7/20/2009 12:51:32 PM
I wouldn't automatically assume that she is moving away from you with that line. You said that she was a hermit after her first divorce and while she may think that it was wrong, it may be what she needs. Our society has some sort of stigma on letting people take the time they need to recover emotionally. When bad things happen, we're not supposed to grieve, we're supposed to seize the day! Unfortunately, that's not right for everyone. If you've said what you could to her, if you both know the divorce was wrong and she truly means it, giving her some time to clear her head after all that she's been through might help your case more. If she's said space and time is what she needs and you interfere with that, the less likely she is to get back with you because you can't respect it. I suggest that while you try to remain in her thoughts, don't push yourself back into her life until she is ready. She has a lot of things to think about.

Joined: 4/28/2009

Msg: 54 (view)

Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile... Posted: 6/28/2009 1:37:41 PM
I find it hard to believe you were ever in Clinical Psychology if these are your serious conclusions... Not every girl on here has been badly hurt. Call me a Case Study, but I have not been badly traumatized by any man in my life. Perhaps your first problem is that you view all the women on here as damaged, needy goods that are just waiting to reject you, and treat them as such whether they present you evidence of that or not. I suggest you read some real studies on self-fulfilling prophecy.

Show ALL Forums