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ralphmyster

Joined: 2/1/2006

Msg: 39 (view)

How do you kill your emotions? Posted: 9/26/2008 4:15:50 PM
Emtions dont come with a stopwatch my friend. If you have broken up with someone give it a few months..If you have lost someone from death..give it the rest of your life because no one knows but you and no one will know until they cross that line and realize fussing, fighting arguring etc is just plain using up precious time you could be madly in love and savor each second, or word or frangrance...

ralphmyster

Joined: 2/1/2006

Msg: 68 (view)

Dating a widower who's spouse only recently died Posted: 9/26/2008 4:08:34 PM
Madam first of all I truly believe he is not ready...I can tell you this since my own love died some two and a half years ago of ovarian caner. It took her in 8 months and she suffered terribly. In your case I can only say he misses the arms the voice the love and the touch. Sometimes it eases the pain but let me tell you this from the heart. IT does not go away. My own brother in law lost my sister some ten years ago giving child birth...If you say her name to this day he will cry even though he is married has a wonderful understanding wife it still will be there. We widowers/widows are considered damaged goods and no one really wants us since we tend to keep the memory of our lost love alive..And it is natural, there is no getting around it and again it is a forever thing. So bless your heart if you decide to stick with him...We men also hurt, cry and suffer just as much as a woman does..We cannot hold it since it could build up inside and then explode some day so we have to let the feelings flow when they come. And they do not warn us when. It could be a song, a smell, a fragrance, a time of season, even old haunts..there memory is everywhere and as I was told when I was in crisis over my fiance'...your emotions did not come equipped with a stopwatch...you will wear this on your shoulders forever...no matter how hard you try and forget...IT is a forever thing and will take an extraordinary woman to stand by your side....No one so far has and that is cruel enough to know you may die alone without so much as a kiss or a look into some wonderful eyes,,,nor a hug that can make you whole again...

ralphmyster

Joined: 2/1/2006

Msg: 1032 (view)

Ever feel like your going to be alone forever? Posted: 9/3/2008 10:00:09 AM
Ah dont feel sorry for youself..we all go thru that..its ok it really is...

ralphmyster

Joined: 2/1/2006

Msg: 804 (view)

Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ? Posted: 9/1/2008 7:33:45 AM
Yup we are but there comes a time when you are done with BS that some women love to throw at you..SO when you say NO then you are the bad guy. Howsomever the question should be are there any good women left and if so they are married or gay too...and yes just kidding only to a point!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAY Out dated pictures, kids at home at 25 still playing x box...ah no! And it seems the older they get as Obama says They just dont get it..If you come as package deal then raise your children THEN go look for a man...Thats what we do for the most part..I can only speak for my self that is.

ralphmyster

Joined: 2/1/2006

Msg: 178 (view)

Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents? Posted: 8/26/2008 4:51:51 AM
Let me make this very simple..NOT NO BUT HELL NO! Goes for a woman 2.

ralphmyster

Joined: 2/1/2006

Msg: 627 (view)

Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder) Posted: 8/17/2008 3:54:58 PM
Well I got married to my high school sweatheart 12 years after school..She had been really abused by her x...I think it messed her up for life..any way after9 years she started just freeking out...then she went holiness--what a real joke of a religion that turned out to be...and went completely off her rocker..I could not recognize her any more...THey have medicine for that now but hey NO MORE...Dont even think about it Please dont screw up your life...you will regret it in time.

ralphmyster

Joined: 2/1/2006

Msg: 117 (view)

Why do men ask me what do I do for a living? Posted: 8/17/2008 2:47:04 PM
Really the truth is this...and do not take offense..please I am only being logical and not derogatory.......... I too married 2 women who had worthless jobs and tons of issues ---problem was after I fixed their problems, paid their bills up, took care of them and literally upgraded their life THEN they didn't need me any more and more mover felt what I had BEFORE I married them was now half theirs..SO the best bet today is to find someone who has JUST AS MUCH to loose as you do..That way they dont marry you for your money they marry because they truly do love you..and if you split guess what she too gets to loose out ==and now the courts are seeing this since women now have equal or even better jobs than some men do... Its a question of credit --which my son got zapped since his girlfriend had credit so bad no one would talk to her at all about her credit problems...So less problems if you have a job that at least keeps the bills paid... No more trailer trash issues...AND im just using that as an analogy ok --there are both sexes that fall into that catagory. Besides men get the same question put to them so its only fair. And I guarantee I will ask them good their credit is too..At my age its not worth the risk to go through those kind of issues ever again.

ralphmyster

Joined: 2/1/2006

Msg: 63 (view)

Why Do Men Overlook Good Women? Posted: 5/29/2008 4:55:14 AM
Dont worry hun women over look Good Men just as much if not more. I am a prime example..good hearted--but all they want are the tattooed bad boys..and they deserve them.

ralphmyster

Joined: 2/1/2006

Msg: 97 (view)

where to find decent men Posted: 5/1/2008 9:08:39 AM
Well what you find in a bar is what you get. That does not mean you wont find someone but church is the same way..Been there done that too. I have met the biggest lairs in church more than a bar that is for sure. Bars are what you see is what you get. Meeting via one person thru another person is usually the best way I have found but hey--believe this..there are no perfect people..NONE. take a chance that is all you have.

ralphmyster

Joined: 2/1/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

lost fiance' Posted: 3/29/2008 11:37:46 AM
It seems to be now that if you loose someone so quickly such as I that you all of a sudden become damaged goods. Problem that I have is if you meet someone they don't want you to have anything else to do with someone who has passed. I keep hearing the same thing..Oh I can compete with a dead person...no one asked them to. I could give as much love if not more to someone but I still need my time to go to the cemetery and visit. I'm not cold blooded and just forget about them as if they never existed. I would absolutely respect a woman who may have lost their groom to be, or even a husband but it seems I cannot get that same in return. I'm not looking for an answer I'm just looking for someone who has the common decency to be a bit tolerant. It is the most frustrating time I have had my entire life. Its as if you are cursed simply because you tell the truth and say look folks I didn't loose a dog, or a parent or a friend I lost my future wife and my future plans... Emotions do not come with a stop watch...and those who have never lost someone close cannot even imagine the pain. I can remake the plans but I cannot remake her...and I wont even try.I can still fall in love again and I can still treat them with the same exact respect I gave to her while she was still living.. Oh I could lie on my profile and end up meeting someone and then tell them the whole truth but Id rather not even go there. I didn't lie before so why start now. Have you been in this type of situation? Id appreciate any advice short of just keep it up since that is all I have done and it does not seem to be doing any good anymore. I loved her dearly and she released me from any bonds we had before she passed away but still the memories of her kindness will be with me for all my life. The one thing I did learn from her than all the other women I had met was she cared only for me and my wants and needs as I did hers. Nothing mattered but what we wanted for each other...And that I have yet to find again being damaged goods. Love is there..nobody wants it...and they have no idea what they are missing.

ralphmyster

Joined: 2/1/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

lost fiance' Posted: 3/29/2008 11:37:36 AM
It seems to be now that if you loose someone so quickly such as I that you all of a sudden become damaged goods. Problem that I have is if you meet someone they don't want you to have anything else to do with someone who has passed. I keep hearing the same thing..Oh I can compete with a dead person...no one asked them to. I could give as much love if not more to someone but I still need my time to go to the cemetery and visit. I'm not cold blooded and just forget about them as if they never existed. I would absolutely respect a woman who may have lost their groom to be, or even a husband but it seems I cannot get that same in return. I'm not looking for an answer I'm just looking for someone who has the common decency to be a bit tolerant. It is the most frustrating time I have had my entire life. Its as if you are cursed simply because you tell the truth and say look folks I didn't loose a dog, or a parent or a friend I lost my future wife and my future plans... Emotions do not come with a stop watch...and those who have never lost someone close cannot even imagine the pain. I can remake the plans but I cannot remake her...and I wont even try.I can still fall in love again and I can still treat them with the same exact respect I gave to her while she was still living.. Oh I could lie on my profile and end up meeting someone and then tell them the whole truth but Id rather not even go there. I didn't lie before so why start now. Have you been in this type of situation? Id appreciate any advice short of just keep it up since that is all I have done and it does not seem to be doing any good anymore. I loved her dearly and she released me from any bonds we had before she passed away but still the memories of her kindness will be with me for all my life. The one thing I did learn from her than all the other women I had met was she cared only for me and my wants and needs as I did hers. Nothing mattered but what we wanted for each other...And that I have yet to find again being damaged goods. Love is there..nobody wants it...and they have no idea what they are missing.

ralphmyster

Joined: 2/1/2006

Msg: 794 (view)

Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships? Posted: 3/24/2008 5:04:23 AM
I spent 20 years in the military and now work for the Space program..I cant even get a date.

ralphmyster

Joined: 2/1/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

35 Yr Old - Widower... Needs Advice... Completely Clueless??? Posted: 3/5/2008 9:21:18 AM
Im a 56 year old who lost my fiance' nearly two years ago.. All those who assume they know your pain have not yet walked that line and trust me hope they never will. I can only say from the exact experience as you that you never do get over it..you learn to walk with it like a cane or a limp..its there and you carry it with you but you do go on. No matter what anyone tells you pain does NOT come with a stop watch.. Get over was the only thing I heard...well she and I now share the same shadow..and always will. But I will go on as she released me from any obligation short of the love and respect I still hold for her..That does not disappear..it just does not. So never ever let anyone say you will get over it..You will just get around it but you will always carry it somewhere in your soul. Love is still ready to blossom again..and falling in love with someone else is ok..You are not forgetting them..they are just letting you go free.

ralphmyster

Joined: 2/1/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

How do you stop loving someone? Posted: 10/14/2007 11:31:59 AM
Its simple and you will look back some day and say these exact words. He was not even worth my time.....the simple answer is swap one bad habit--him-- for a good habit--someone else...Oh you still have years to go out and enjoy....Life is so very short as I found out when my fiance' passed away a year ago last June. You have anger and feelings to work with not grief or loss of a life. He is still living and as the old saying does go. IF they did it once they will do it again,,,,so do not waste another moment on this looser....believe me he is not worth your emotions. Emotions do not come with a stop watch or time clock..but the do lessen when someone has cheated on you..they lessen extremely fast especially when you realize your time was wasted trying to please someone who did not want to be pleased. Just go out and find another good man...It will happen soon.

ralphmyster

Joined: 2/1/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

advice needed, big time!!! Posted: 3/7/2007 6:14:51 AM
Just leave him be and let him come to you but only after he has healed inside..He has been hurt as we all have it since there is really not a timeclock for emotional inside healing then he has to do that on his own. So inform him he is more likely than not emotionally ready for a true relationship...Us men hurt too but in a completely different way than a woman might. Pain belongs only to the one who has been hurt..and thusly can only be cured inside by that same person..Not pushed,asked nor forced..It comes with time and sometimes it takes longer than we would wish. Believe me--I know first hand how it feels to loose someone. Ralph

ralphmyster

Joined: 2/1/2006

Msg: 783 (view)

What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart?? Posted: 2/20/2007 9:51:16 AM
I can only say that depending on the circumstances some would and some would not. I did loose the love of my life--to cancer--and one person told me "Well at least she did not ask you to die with her"...I would have under this circumstance...if she would have asked me to.. IF she had cheated on me or left me for another man--no I would have never even considered it --I would not have wished her good luck nor bad luck--just more of the same... A love dying on you throws a different light on it...to die vs to kill oneself --two totally different views--I would have died for her. I would have died with her--I would have died instead of her...but to kill myself--she would not have approved...

ralphmyster

Joined: 2/1/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

How to tell her you are moving out... Posted: 12/28/2006 11:02:00 AM
JOIN the Army! Grow up!...18 IS checkout time!

ralphmyster

Joined: 2/1/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

HUMAN INTEREST...BREAST CANCER Posted: 12/19/2006 7:01:08 AM
I can only tell you this...I lost the love of my life this past June...Ovarian cancer took her completely in less than 8 months..So be very very very glad your friend is still alive and able to live somewhat differently but living none the same. Ovarian cancer is a death sentence no matter what you do! Breast cancer if caught in time can be made liveable..and there is life after cancer for that person. She is lucky..no matter what the sexual attraction attributes were or will be..She is alive! My love no matter how she looked meant the world to me...and still does if not more.

ralphmyster

Joined: 2/1/2006

Msg: 557 (view)

Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ? Posted: 12/19/2006 5:05:21 AM
Yes we are out there but we dont do the club thing nor the party animal like drinking, fighting, arguing, etc...I have found my dog to be a better TRUSTED friend..I can depend on him and I DONT have to worry about him leaving me for a better looking more money hungry, corvett driving dunderhead..Loll Really we are here we just mind our own business..Clubs dont cut it...and im thinking the web does not either...So its just a game of timing...where and when is what is at stake.

ralphmyster

Joined: 2/1/2006

Msg: 71 (view)

He Loves Everything About You, Except Your Cat Posted: 12/18/2006 9:20:59 AM
Dogs are better than some ladies I have known, and at least they act right when you tell them to stop trashing your lilfe.

ralphmyster

Joined: 2/1/2006

Msg: 51 (view)

Why Do Some Men think that a woman is obsessing instead of suffering a broken heart! Posted: 12/11/2006 1:36:14 PM
AS my mother used to say so long ago..And this too shall pass....

ralphmyster

Joined: 2/1/2006

Msg: 446 (view)

Why are men threatened by an Independent, educated woman??? Posted: 12/5/2006 5:07:29 AM
Some do some dont..I dont --I have worked with females as far back as I can remember even in the service..Some are good --some use their position and some just use the system..Others try and hard the bad ones ruin it for the good ones...So all I can say is find someone who has just as much to loose as you do..Then you put aside the boss, education, money issues and you join as one when it comes to the home life--you do your part and he does his...50-50 since you both should work and provide.. Send an email and I'll explain it to you some time.

ralphmyster

Joined: 2/1/2006

Msg: 77 (view)

Why are men so scared...... Posted: 11/6/2006 11:35:38 AM
I will tell you exactly--First if you intend to be with someone for a relationship--YOU darn well better know whats going on behind the scenes..This childlike mindset of dont tell them everything is a complete load of crap guys--AND gals..they better damn well tell you everything..none of this silly they dont need to know for now crap!---Guys it happened to me...Husband in prison -- gone for years--locked up for murder, dope etc;. That does not last as long as you might think folks.. They do get out --they do come back and they do try and screw up your relationship--except now they are not behind bars and what was supposedly needed to be kept a secret by the then wife --now got exposed-- the whole relationship nose dived as my marriage did when he showed up at our front door demanding to see his kids he had not seen in 12 years.. Screaming and hollering I want my M--Fing kids..I now have to call the cops--go thru all that crap and then what happens?, he shows up the next time with a weapon --oh yea nice move shirlock...so if they cant admit it ---suck it up and take the hit--too bad--RUN!! im telling you now.. that was their stupid choice to marry this nut--Its not your burden or boat anchor to have to carry around with you --Not your job guys--its hers.....So now that the secret was not revealed how would you feel..She needs to own up and that is just that! IF he is dead that's OK. Besides if they hid that major fact then what else are they hiding??? Ya better think about folks..You need to know it all first! Or suffer a suprise later!

ralphmyster

Joined: 2/1/2006

Msg: 48 (view)

i hope my wife burns in hell..lol Posted: 11/6/2006 9:14:51 AM
There is not fixing it..Period--if they do it once they will just do it again.. I too went thru the same situation. Just remember they are not worth the effort. You will look back on this in a year and say man what a looser. Let her starve, let her live wiht some other looser and together they will be a matching set of bookends deserving each other and thank goodness you didnt marry her or have kids as I did. Just consider her a useless waste of skin..something that is of no use to you...And never cry for someone who will not cry for you.

ralphmyster

Joined: 2/1/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Dad has Cancer Posted: 11/3/2006 6:58:01 AM
I understand and sympathize too. I lost the love of my life in June of this year to ovarian cancer..There is no fix, there is only the hope of another day being with them.. When its over be thankful they are out of pain...and as I was told-- be thankful she did not ask you to die with her.

ralphmyster

Joined: 2/1/2006

Msg: 173 (view)

Has anyone here given up or thinking about it? Posted: 11/3/2006 6:09:13 AM
Yea take care of yourself now and it may look bleak but its really not that bad. You do have to watch out though as you date again down the roead. When it comes to bums...women can take the cake too. you can prevent yourself from being hurt again if you call it quits..You can date..you can love..but never never get married--once that happens it is time to call it quits..No more free rides.. Of course when you let the wrong head think first you are at high risk.. But the best thing to do is to spell it out to them. I now refuse to raise another lazy man's kids, I wont pay YOUR bills, and I certainly wont fix all the problems YOU started.. Now if they then say hey I will take care of MY own mess first --then you may have a winner...otherwise stay by yourself let em stave and stay deep in debt..and raise their own kids FIRST.. then you can consider getting deeply involved...RULE OF THUMB..they better have just as much to loose as you do! That puts any freeloader man or woman on notice and keeps you from being USED. The biggest thing is there are only two kinds of people..those whom you love and those whom love you...its hard to find both who think the same.

ralphmyster

Joined: 2/1/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

CAN I OR CAN I NOT GET A CHANCE Posted: 7/20/2006 10:46:13 AM
I can only say this---I do agree nice guys finish last due to the overwhelming "I wanna have fun" syndrome most women say in their profiles...Relationships are fun at first but if you want it to last and not keep having fun from one person to the next ENDLESSLY then fun eventually turns into work!!! It takes work to keep a relastionship healthy..Also if you read th profiles closely it says "NO" I dont want kids--but they already have them...so it seems they want theirs but not yours. I think the questions in the setup profile are asked in the wrong way they need to revisit their question processes..NUFF of that. Your chances of finding someone one the web are just as chancey as they are on the street from day to day.. ITS all a crap shoot. I found mine with out any computer but lost her to a terrible cancer- she told me to go on with my life so I am trying too. I too would have wanted her to go on with hers. It seems to meet anyone you will have to use every tool made available..from this computer site to other sites or bars or what ever--although what you meet at a bar is what you get at a bar...Not a nice place to find someone of substance but im sure it has happened..but not around these parts...loll BUT before some other lady comes on here and complains..thats just been MY experience..I dont do bars, the mall, church, work--doesnt leave much but the computer.. So nice guys do finish last since most of us stay at home, do our chores, clean our houses, go to work every day, pay our bills, mind our own business while the loser guys go out to bars and church and the mall and somehow manage to screw it up for us good guys... SO we say to heck with it---nice guys do finish last--yes we do.

ralphmyster

Joined: 2/1/2006

Msg: 64 (view)

My Ex : Five weeks from Separation to Suicide. Posted: 7/17/2006 12:28:49 PM
My friend I can only say thank goodness it was quick, I watched the love of my life die over an 8 month period of ovarian cancer as the chemo and the radiation did little if anything to help her. She struggled until the last moment and was delusional her last days..As she lay dying her sister at her side holding her arms as she was flailing and gasping for breath and then the scowl went away and she saw such light come from her neck up to her forhead...I was at work trying to keep my sanity...then I recieved the worst call of my life. She lost all--her bones showed thru, her skin hung from her body, she had to be pumped clean every day,she lost her wonderful auburn hair and when I went home and the amber light shown thru the curtains--I sensed the life had been sucked out of that house as if it the was never a happy moment in that house. Oh the pain is excruciating. I still smell her, I still feel her and her pictures and small little items of hers bring great joy but greater sorry to me daily..Again be thankful it was quick...The only solice I can offer is at least she did not ask you to die with her.. You have my simpathies and my understanding of your loss...

ralphmyster

Joined: 2/1/2006

Msg: 87 (view)

How do you break an obsession with someone? Posted: 7/10/2006 9:28:13 AM
Trust me --its called excessive compulsive attitude and co-dependancy.. Been there and done that...Unfortunatly I have lost my love via ovarian cancer just last month. IF there is a pain tolerance I have been there and wrote the book. My suggetion is to go see a mental health clinic or see if your doctor will prescribe medicine for you such as an anti depressant. ITs the chemicals in your body like seratonin that are out of balance and can cause your mind to just go crazy with agony and loss even if the person just jilted you and left its as if they took a chunk or your soul with them..when in fact they were jerks to begin with...That one I found out many years ago when I found out I had excessive compulsive disorder...Only medicine and talk therapy brought me out of it. Now once again I have to endure loss...not by them just leaving but by death...the worst of all. SO take solice in the fact she may have been here for a few months or days...but there is more out there who will appreicate your kind of personality. Thank god she did not die as mine did...as we were both still in love.

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