online dating service
REGISTER | MAIL/PROFILE | HELP | NOW ONLINE | SEARCH | RATING | FORUMS | SUCCESS STORIES

 

     
Posted In Forum:
Home   login   MyForums  
Show ALL Forums  
 
 Author Thread: What do you think?
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 20 (view)
 
What do you think?
Posted: 11/1/2009 12:59:08 PM
OP - some women (and men) are as flaky as a biscuit and prefer to use the Dr Jekyl/Mr Hyde method of telling you that things aren't going to work between you rather than tell you honestly that they've lost interest.

You mentioned she called you "insecure" and I see that as a bad sign. The only time I call a guy insecure is if he smothers me with calls/text/emails and wants to see me all the time even if I am the one pacing the relationship. Insecurity in anybody is a huge turn off. And even if you thought she changed, she didn't. What you see at the 2-3 month mark is the real person.

I wouldn't give her another thought but I would re-evaluate your actions and pinpoint where she would have seen you as insecure so you don't repeat this off-putting behavior in the future.

Finally, texting is the worst way to communicate. Pick up the phone so you can hear her voice. You can tell a lot more about how someone is feeling by the tone of their voice than a cold/impersonal text.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 16 (view)
 
What's up with the term It's Complicated?
Posted: 11/1/2009 12:47:00 PM
Then don't date them. If I ever saw this on a man's profile or if he told me "It's complicated" regarding his current relationship status, I have no further interest.

You are either in a relationship (attached, dating, FWB) or you're single.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Jokes not aloud?
Posted: 11/1/2009 12:40:33 PM
OP - what you consider a One-Size-Fits-All type of general humor may not be the same for the women you are contacting.

I've met many self proclaimed "humorous" men who were nothing but irritating as as wedgie when subjected to their jokes.

I prefer someone with a wry sense of humor and who doesn't have to work it like a Rodney Dangerfield wanna-be at the local comedy club open mike night.

And, btw, the spelling you were looking for was "allowed".
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Complicated bad boy crush..any hope?
Posted: 10/29/2009 12:59:44 PM
babygirl - if you know he's a player and you don't want to get hurt, why even get involved with him? And if he wants to talk, talk. Tell him what you want as well as what you're not looking for.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 61 (view)
 
The Cervix andThe REAL Deal about Big Penises. Have Your Say and settle it for all time!
Posted: 10/29/2009 6:51:14 AM

However, I'm afraid I require a girl who does like a lot of sex..... and I don't care what you say, I think most girls DO like a lot of sex, except it has to be the right kind of sex, but for guys almost any sex is right kind of sex. And if girls don't want a lot of sex, they just haven't had really good sex yet. I've also found that women aren't always honest with how horny they truly are. Now can you answer me why women are like THAT? I think I know the answer already though.


Oceanman - I agree with you. I love sex and know many women who enjoy it as much as men do. I also believe that some people have never had very good sex as they were mismatched with their lover to being with. They thought they were in love and tried to make the sex work even if it was not clicking, they were with a clueless lover or they themselves had no idea of what they were doing, they are afraid to experiment or to let their needs be known for fear of admonishment, they tried to force the chemistry, they don’t want to be alone, they were pressured by family and friends to stay with the person, etc., etc.

Many women, including yours truly, have had sex on the first date because we wanted to but many don’t because we are looked upon as being slutty or that if we “put out” with you we must have done it with every other guy we had a first date with. Wrong. If I’m having sex with you early on it’s because I desire you, I like/trust/respect you and want to show you this. Most of my first dates don’t even rate a kiss goodnight.

A couple of my ex-bf’s were taken aback by the frequency of sex I wanted as their ex-wives/gf’s didn’t want it all that much. Once again, if I am “into you” I want you to be inside me and often.

However, just because some men can have sex with whomever because its available, doesn’t mean I can or will. And knowing that some men can have sex just for the sake of having it makes me less likely to just jump into it as I want him to truly want me for ME not just because I have a v’gina.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Chemistry from kissing?
Posted: 10/28/2009 7:56:48 PM
Kissing is an important indicator for chemistry for me. If a guy can't kiss or if I am not in the least bit turned on, then he isn't the guy for me.

OP haven't you ever had a woman who took your breath away and made you weak in the knees just by the way she kissed? If not, you have missed out on one of life's greatest experiences. A great kiss can be better than sex.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 45 (view)
 
The Cervix andThe REAL Deal about Big Penises. Have Your Say and settle it for all time!
Posted: 10/28/2009 7:37:22 PM
I agree No 1 bby and MarvaJanuice’s posts.

Depending on the guy’s c*ck and where I am in my cycle, hitting the cervix can send me into orgasmic orbit or I’m shoving the guy off the bed.

It’s not always the cervix which gets hit, too. Due to the way my uterus is tipped and the angle, a guy can easily hit an ovary and that pretty much brings the luvin’ to an abrupt halt. Fibroids on the uterus can also create their own version of discomfort, too.


So why bother talking about the width of a penis? I'm not a woman, to me penises seem to be mostly the same width. Women, are they?


For me, width matters. Like the other ladies wrote, the entrance of the v’gina is loaded with nerve endings and a thicker c*ck feels more fulfilling than a thin one. There are plenty of different penis widths on this earth.


This whole cervix thing got me wondering what the real deal with penises is. Cause now that I think about it, unless a penis is unusually small..... aren't they mostly pretty much a standard girth, and also long enough to hit the cervix, which is as deep as possible? What's the need of a larger penis?


Some penises are the perfect width/ length and there is nothing but pleasure to be had with them. Although feasting my eyes on a large penis and handling one makes me wet, in practice, there are only certain positions which feel comfortable. The female v’gina lengthens/stretches and can accommodate a variety of c*ck sizes, but not all women are the same size internally therefore so some women love a man who is 9” long and just as big around and others are more than content with 5” and only the wide of a thick thumb. I know what I can reasonably enjoy before the thought of “Dear God I hope it won't tear me in two” puts a big ol’ wet blanket on the fire.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Conversation and Relating to Women
Posted: 10/26/2009 7:05:25 AM
If a conversation seems forced or strained when I'm a on a date that means we have nothing in common. Some people aren't natural conversationalists but I believe when you "click" you never lack for topics to talk about and conversely, even the silence is comfortable.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
I would like some advice
Posted: 10/26/2009 7:02:14 AM

while sitting there with me she txt the other dude can I kiss him


Seriously? Are you sure he's not her pimp?

OP - she wants to keep you around in case things don't work out with the First Choice BF. Find yourself a woman who wants to make you her one and only.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
monogamous long-term weekend relationships
Posted: 10/26/2009 6:57:01 AM
OP - there are many women who would find your scenario perfect for their lives.

Personally it wouldn't work for me because if I like a guy and we click, I want to see him during the week , too. I don't want to be told we have to pigeon hole our relationship during a certain 36-48 hour period each week.

I definitely think you should put this in your profile so the women reading it know not only what you are looking for but what to expect regarding when they will see you.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 24 (view)
 
more sex
Posted: 10/26/2009 6:34:45 AM
Digmusic - there are some men who will put up with whatever crap of the day their women decide to throw at them because they only think with their Little Heads. These men need to have their Big Heads examined and a clue to get out of Dodge.

Any self respecting man knows there is no sex perfect enough to balance the continual drama with any woman.

And any self respecting woman doesn't want a man who only stays for the sex.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 15 (view)
 
no privacy?
Posted: 10/26/2009 6:23:54 AM
Hinting doesn't work. You and your BF need to tell the mooch he needs to find a job and get his own place by such-n-such date. If he doesn't move out by that time or if your BF gets upset, then that's your cue to move out.

Does this mooch have no family or other friends for help or have they wised up to his lazy ways and already told him "No"?
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 79 (view)
 
Positive Negative
Posted: 10/25/2009 4:54:29 PM
OP - I take both the Red Flags and Must Haves into consideration whether I am dating or car shopping or looking for a new dress. There are certain things that are a No-Go when I look at guys' profiles and it doesn't matter how many other great things they have in the positive column, the Red Flags trump the good stuff every time.

Its like when you are shopping for a dress and you find one that meets your criteria (size, color, style, price) except it's made of wool and you are allergic to wool. Do you just suck it up and buy it, hoping that you won't itch yourself to death before the Benadryl takes effect every time you wear it ** OR** do you keep looking for one that's made out of a different material plus your other criteria?

People don’t “grow into what we want” as that would require them to change who they are. I want someone who is naturally compatible with me.

I sometimes think people aren’t selective enough. I’ve met many men who were very happy to continue to date me not because we had much in common but because I am a female with a pulse and can fog a mirror.

It doesn’t matter if someone thinks I am too picky with the criteria I need in a mate as I am perfectly happy to not settle for less than what I can live with the rest of my life.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 15 (view)
 
How can I?
Posted: 10/25/2009 4:13:20 PM
This thread reminds me of the Tide commercial where the guy is on an interview and the interviewer can't keep his eyes off the stain on the guy's shirt as the stain is making "noise".

OP - I can see how it would be unnerving but if all else was in line why not ask her out again. If the nose hair is still there then I wouldn't go on a third date as she obviously doesn't care about how she looks.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 29 (view)
 
I gave my girl an orgasm..... through her nipple?
Posted: 10/25/2009 4:04:34 PM
^^^ edited to say "The best lover never...."
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Guess What I Want?!
Posted: 10/25/2009 3:52:58 PM
And it’s equally a shame when a 20 yr old man sans clue comes to the Profile Reviews Forum because he can’t understand why his target demographic isn’t flooding his mailbox with requests for dates because he thinks his profile is the sh!t when, in actuality, its substandard.

Aegle and Jake both gave constructive advice. Take it and make the necessary changes or leave it as is and enjoy the sound of crickets in your mail box.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Does my profile suck?
Posted: 10/25/2009 3:35:58 PM
Mr Audi303 - you have nothing of substance to critique. I suggest you read not only the Profile Writing Tip at the top of this section but peruse other men's profiles who regularly critique in this forum for ideas. Don't worry - you won't appear in their Viewed Me section so no need to think it will come off gay if you read what other men wrote.

You need more pictures, you need to fill in the Interests section and you need to completely overhaul your About Me section to prevent the reader from falling asleep or thinking you sound just like the last 10 profiles she read.

Best of luck.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Have any other women experienced this?
Posted: 10/25/2009 3:28:43 PM
Hi OP - Some of it could be nerves, some of it could be that they are so full of themselves and are used to/expect women to sit there and listen and some could be ADD/ADHD.

Although we expect someone with ADD to be all over the place, if there is a subject that greatly interests them you can't pry them away from talking about it with a crowbar or a stick of dynamite.

If its Date #1, I won't date the guy again but I've dated one man who told me early on that he has ADD and he can talk non stop about certain hobbies he loves. We had gone out three or four time and one night, he was getting steaks ready for dinner at his house but had yet to put them on the grill because he kept going on and on about something he is passionate about. I couldn't get a word in edgewise then finally thought "If I don't interrupt him, we're never going to eat" so I looked him in the eye and said "Todd! ". He stopped talking and looked at me. I said very sweetly "If you expect to get the Bl*wjob of the Year later tonight you'll shut up for a minute and put those steaks on the grill. Now." He smiled and said "Yes ma'am!".

We were eating less than 15 minutes later.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 28 (view)
 
I gave my girl an orgasm..... through her nipple?
Posted: 10/25/2009 3:06:39 PM
The best lover ever ignores a woman's breasts/ nipples and gives them the same amount of attention as other regions of her body because he knows he will be invited back again.....and again.....and again.

For me there is a direct line of nerves from my nipples to my c!it and p#ssy and the right stimulation is all that's needed to send me into orbit.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Closed Minded Sugarcoated Love
Posted: 10/25/2009 2:58:41 PM
a bit nomadic nailed it


Why? Why should his mom keep her mouth shut?

I don't understand why so many people are jumping on the anti-mom bandwagon. Why should the MOM keep her opinions to herself? He's obviously been a drunken disaster when it comes to running his own life--OBVIOUSLY she has reasons not to trust his judgment. Now, after a series of colossal screw ups, he's living again in HER home on HER dime at 27 (and STILL apparently drinking a lot)--he doesn't have a job, he failed out of university, and he's generally screwed up his past due to "partying" too much (as he calls it--god I feel like I'm in HIGH school again).

It MIGHT be that the mother in this case is a **** from hell....but guess what--that's HER right and it seems to me like she has CAUSE. SHE'S also supporting her adult child (which she doesn't HAVE to do). And frankly, until he has something to OFFER a woman, I don't think this guy should be dating at all!

It seems to me that if this grown man really wants his mother to stop telling him what she thinks about his life, his girlfriends, and anything else, then he needs to get off the booze, get the hell out of her house and begin taking care of himself.


Let's hope the OP is sober enough to read this and follow the directions.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
where did i go wrong?
Posted: 10/23/2009 5:54:19 PM
If the kissing was truly that fantastic even if you didn't have sex, she would have looked forward to seeing you again. Chances are she felt no spark after kissing you and therefore put you in the friends' zone. And yes, you told us she told you that you were a good kisser but no one tells someone their kissing sucks on a first date. No one.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Deja-Vu for her, should this matter to her?
Posted: 10/23/2009 5:43:21 PM

I still maintain a friendship with my ex-wife


Of course you do if if she is the mother of your children. Most women do not have a problem with this as its for your kids.

If you are no longer in a relationship with the ex-gf, there is no reason to stay on her cell phone plan or have your things at her house. Cut the ties with the ex-gf now unless you want the current gf to cut all ties with you.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 83 (view)
 
Mouth Shut or Tattle?
Posted: 10/23/2009 7:01:54 AM
OP - its truly none of your business what this "business associate" does with his personal life. If he and April are FWB with no commitments then she has no claim on what he does. For all we know she likes the no commitment part so she can have sex with whomever she'd like. The bartender probably does this with many of the men who are in town on business and is also not expecting an exclusive engagement.

Personally, I would distance myself from this guy and interact with him as little as possible. If he doesn't have an audience for his sexual exploits he'll stop bragging.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Intimacy Issues
Posted: 10/21/2009 6:27:00 AM
Some people who are Autistic or have Asperger's Syndrome dislike being touched.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 56 (view)
 
Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 10/19/2009 7:24:23 AM
OP - if a guy told me he wasn't a smoker, could read in my profile that I only date non-smokers and then lit one up, I would tell them right then and there that I can't see them anymore.

Although I don't date smokers, the ones I know are good and decent people. Liars, on the other hand, are neither good nor decent. She's a liar, therefore......

If you continue to date her you'll have to wonder what else she is lying to you about.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
How can I get her back?
Posted: 10/18/2009 5:34:28 PM
OP - you're having an affair with a married woman. To answer you're question, there is nothing you can do to get her back as she was never yours to begin with.

Find a single woman who is available to you.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Phone etiquette
Posted: 10/17/2009 9:05:22 PM

If she needs to go potty


OP, if you're still using phrases like this, no phone sex is forthcoming.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 51 (view)
 
Coupons and Dating
Posted: 10/14/2009 11:49:12 AM
"Hello, my name is Absofreakinlutely and I am a materialistic gold-digger."

And yes, men who use coupons on the first couple of dates are seen as cheap by both women and men. One of my male friends said he would have to hand in his man card if he ever used a coupon on a first date.

Let's come to a general consensus on this one, shall we?

I use coupons all the time and have had dates use them once we've gotten to know one another. I'm all for saving some money but when you are trying to impress a woman for the first time, you don't do it with a piece of paper tossed down with your Mastercard.

It's like going for an interview. You know you won't wear a blue suit and tie everyday for work but you want the job so you put your best foot forward and wear it. The slouch shows up in a short sleeved dress shirt and khakis. Both resumes are identical. Who gets the job? The only who knows what he needs to do to look his best. The company knows he isn't going to be like this everyday nor do they expect it but dressing up in a suit is a sign of respect. Paying for your date sans coupon is a sign of respect and that you value the woman.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some gold doubloons to count.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Sexual compatability and timing
Posted: 10/14/2009 11:19:56 AM
imagine my disapointment after 2 months of dating. . .

Is two months your rule? Then change it to one month.

Edited to add: it doesn't matter it you waited a month or a year, his size is not going to change so the timing is moot. I prefer to find out sooner rather than later whether we are sexually compatible or not. And its not just size. Some guys only want it in one position or are done in 30 seconds or need every pharmaceutical substance under the sun for help with their hydraulics.

I'm sure men feel the same about some women - we're either too loose, too dry, just lay there, don't swallow, don't go down at all, prefer our b.o.b.s., only want it in one position, are too bossy, or want the lights off.

 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
What does I want to be by myself means?
Posted: 10/14/2009 8:07:41 AM

is she truly by herself?


I'm going to guess she is with a guy who is more attentive and not as obsessed with work.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
He's banged his open-relationship roomie....
Posted: 10/13/2009 2:34:17 PM
As long as she lives there she will be trouble. Even if she was nice and sweet, do you really want to be with a man who thinks its ok to sleep with one of his married roommates?

This is an ewww no matter how you slice it. Please get yourself tested even if you did use condoms.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Your Feedback Appreciated
Posted: 10/13/2009 9:27:32 AM
HI KaratedDad36

OK, your profile is too long and tells the reader a whole lotta nothing. First, there is no need for subheadings. Using paragraphs of themed sentences will take care of this.

You are trying to hard to be funny and therefore your profile is falling flat.

Delete the pics in the ugly shirt and the bathroom pose. They do nothing to enhance you.


I’m sure there is some guy below me that likes to fish or hike or something that you will be interested in, feel free to click on him now.


There is no need to take digs at men who are nothing like you (but perhaps have a better sense of humor.) This is an inadvertent insult to some of the women reading your profile and although it may garner you some messages, you won’t like what the ladies have to say.


Unfortunately, I suffer from that rare affliction of being a real father. Yes, I have two kids and they live with me most of the time. So a woman who can appreciate a man that takes care of his children is a big plus for me.


Let's be positive here. Just say “A woman who can appreciate a man that takes care of his children is a big plus for me as I have two sons.”

Nix the "toilet surfing" comment as women do not like bathroom humor in the least.


Hope you got a chuckle. There are only two things I’m good at making a woman do… one is laughing and the other I’ll leave up to your imagination. Told you I could make women laugh!!


I can hear the groans in the audience now. Delete.


Someday my goal is to take over the world, oppress the people, and erect giant monuments to myself. No, I'm just joking... kinda...


More groans. Delete.

Btw, if you travel so often on the weekends, how will you have time to date?

Absolutely delete The six things I could never do without and the entire “You should message me if…” paragraph.

Finally. you need a couple lines about the woman you seek.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Jilted the day of your wedding, fired, kicked out your house and left with the final bill.
Posted: 10/13/2009 8:05:55 AM

Wang, 33, didn't feel like she could argue.


I'm sure the proposal came with a .57 magnum held to her head. What's wrong with saying "Thanks but no thanks."?

The story does portray her to be the very injured party but there is his side to take into account as well as the truth. If it seems too good to be true is an adage she should have taken to heart.

I'm sure there were many red flags along the way but she couldn't see them due to the brilliant light coming off the rock on her left hand.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Profile Review, can anyone check mine out tell me what you think?
Posted: 10/12/2009 8:11:39 AM
Aha ha ha!! You have to admit Unfozen Caveman Lawyer's response was funny considering you used "do" four times in that sentence.

Your profile looks much better. Our apologies to your aunt whom I am sure is a lovely person. That picture is your best.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Coupons and Dating
Posted: 10/11/2009 7:35:12 AM
Coupons on the first few dates indicate "You are not worth the price of a full priced entree" and it comes across as cheap. Another problem with coupons is they are sometimes for restaurants I am not in the mood to eat at or they have so many restrictions. Who wants to go out to dinner only to be told "Ok, now we can only go to these two restaurants as they are the only places I have coupons for." or " Oh, yeah and you can only order entrees less than $12 and only chose from the following 4 choices" Not romantic in the least.

Whenever a guy makes an issue of using a coupon, I always say "I'll buy. Keep it for another time."
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Perfumes, my boyfriend bought it and now there's an issue
Posted: 10/11/2009 7:00:41 AM
Try inside the crease of your elbow, the back of your hairline, the back topside of your ears, just under your armpits where your bra is.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
First Date Gesture
Posted: 10/11/2009 6:55:49 AM
No gifts on the first couple of dates. It screams "nice guy" immediately and shows you are trying too hard to win her affections.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Is she gone forever?
Posted: 10/11/2009 6:51:58 AM
This is so typical of many posts. The OP tells us a story, we call him/her out on the carpet and then having their feelings hurt, they have to back peddle and fill in some details which may or may not be true.

Sorry, OP, the fact you couldn't tell her you felt used before her birthday speaks volumes. The first time you can play victim, after than you're a volunteer or willing participant.


Edited to reply to OP:
<div class='quote'> didn't think being there on her birthday was that big a deal since we had already discussed that I wouldn't have to be there . I never said anything bad in person, we both fought via text.

OP -when is it ever a good idea NOT to attend the GF's b-day - I don't care if you bought her all of Vegas, she would want you there. And get your story straight. You start your post that you blew it off and now you're telling us you didn't have to be there. Which is it?

And sorry, fighting by text is just as bad as in person, its no less demeaning.

 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
1st Timer gives me her life story
Posted: 10/11/2009 6:44:00 AM
Perhaps she saw your post and is embarrassed by what you told the rest of POF.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Just a question
Posted: 10/11/2009 6:29:10 AM

I said Im kinda nervous about it cause I didn't want it to end like last time.


When was there a last time? It doesn't sound like you even dated. You begin your post telling us the two of you talked but she thought you didn't like her and started dating someone else.

Now you're doing it again. You had a woman who TWICE showed interest in you but you flake on her and tell her you want to take it slow or give off nonverbal clues that you aren't interested.

She lost interest as she felt you were going to waster her time again.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
I have a thing for my friend
Posted: 10/11/2009 6:19:26 AM

Her reasoning is flawed. She was friends with you first, and only befriended your ex after she married you.

So she's YOUR friend, not your ex's.

Problem solved.


Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner. However, I would wait until your divorce is complete before you begin to date.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Is she gone forever?
Posted: 10/11/2009 6:15:44 AM
What is it with the threads by men over 35 who post like they're in high school?

OP - what in the world possessed you AFTER 9 MONTHS to not show up for you ex-GF's birthday? Are you kidding? You had no right to get mad at her after she got angry for your no-show. And then you add insult to injury by calling her fat.

I hope you can hold your breath a looooooong time as she is never calling you back.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Phone rules does she like me.?
Posted: 10/11/2009 6:11:06 AM
OP - before I answer your question, you are aware these AAG threads are capped after 21 replies and you've used up 5 spaces.

I, too, thought this was posted by a college kid. When a guy says he will call me, I expect a call. If he doesn't, I assume he's busy or a flake.

She called you because she likes you and never read The Rules book. I applaud her.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
How to rekindle an old flame
Posted: 10/11/2009 6:06:30 AM
OP - old flames belong in the past. You might not believe it now, but someday you'll repeat these very words to someone else. You can't move forward when you're looking back.

You met when she was 16 and you were 18. You were kids and I'll guess she was the first girl you ever loved. Our first loves tend to hold a special place in our hearts and memories because they brought out feelings we never felt before and once we break up, we don't think we'll ever feel this way with anyone else. This is normal.

If she wanted to get back together she would have answered your Facebook emails but she didn't. Her status updates have nothing to do with you. They aren't secret messages for you to decipher. If you want to renew something then go ahead and CALL HER and ask her out. You will have your answer after you pose the question.

One problem with social networking sites is that it allows some people to forever cling to ex's and not move on with their lives. Ask her out if you want but if she says no, then drop her from your FB friends and move on to someone who wants to be with you.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Profile Review, can anyone check mine out tell me what you think?
Posted: 10/11/2009 5:30:19 AM
Hi Jim,

The first thing I noticed from the thumbnail picture is that it appeared you were either wearing a horrible fitting toupee or were dire need of a haircut. Ditch the picture and crop the one of you and your aunt. You have an incredible smile and the glasses are very attractive on you. Delete the group wedding photo. Its blurry and we don't care about the other people in the picture, we want to see you.


You've found one of the good guys! So come hang out with a good guy for a change.


Delete this sentence. Women will read this as code for "Nice (but boring) Guy" and you've just shot yourself in the foot. Don't tell us you're a good man, show us.


Currently I am looking forward to going back to school and finishing what I started 7 years ago( 2 associates degrees). Probably end up continuing with it and getting my bachelors or masters in something. I just haven’t decided what it will be yet, maybe basket weaving? I love to help people and be outside with people. My comfort level in dangerous situations is why I do what I do for a living. So maybe Ill find something along those lines.


You say a lot without telling us a thing. If you don't know what you want to do, leave this out. How do you like to help people? Give us some examples that relate to your work. Regarding the dangerous situations, do you work for the CIA? The Special Ops?


For some reason the more busy I get the more comfortable I am. It seems like it consumes the things that bother me in life. So being proactive like I am I choose to stay busy! Dedication, integrity, love and passion are some of my attributes, I look for those qualities in a woman. If you don’t have integrity if your life then you have nothing… That’s something I live by.


Let's rewrite the first part to say "I prefer to stay busy with my life as that is the key to staying positive when life throws me a curve ball." Instead of listing your attributes (which, btw, would be "honest, dedicated, loving and passionate") show us how you live these traits. The last line about having nothing if you don't have integrity is a big negative. Try rephrasing it to say "Living a life of integrity is one of my core values."


I love kids and hope to have some of my own some day. Right now I enjoy my nieces and nephews and they sure do keep me busy. My family is rather large, me being the only boy with 3 older sister. We hang out all the time and you can usually find all 4 of us with my parents, nieces and nephews eating dinner on Sundays.


This is good, til you get to the end. If you are dating a woman who works M-F, it sounds like she can only see you on Saturday as Sundays are dedicated to your family. Do you kid sit for your nieces and nephews often? Women like men who are close to their families but we don't want to feel like we have constantly do things with your family or that we are never on your radar as all the family obligations come first.


I like doing things with groups of friends, going to sporting events, concerts and VACATIONS! Doing things outdoors really interest me. I love to fish and camp, and always enjoy a bonfire with some friends and family. I run for personal reasons at least three times a week, more if I have the time. If you were to run into me on a weekend you would probably find me at home or some bar playing pool or darts with some friends. I’m kind of a scaredy cat when it come to dancing so you really have to get on me to get me out on the floor. I love my life and would love to share it with someone.


Delete the "doing things outdoors" part as its apparent in what you listed. Delete the "for personal reasons" after "I run" . Why else would you run? To please your sisters? You certainly like to use more words than you need to make your point. "If you were to run into me on a weekend you would probably find me.." Just say "I enjoy staying in or...."


I would love love love to meet a woman who has direction in her life and knows what she wants from a man. You have to be able to make decisions on your own and not rely on everyone else to make them for you. When stuff in your life gets tough get some balls (figuratively speaking)and do what you gotta do to do what you wanna do! You should know what you want in your life and be ready to get it done. If your interested in a relationship that could turn into something long term then you have come to the right place. I look forward to hearing from you and will be anticipating your message!


You sound like you are demanding these traits from the reader. Instead rewrite it to say "I'm attracted to a woman who is an independent thinker, a planner and a go-getter". Delete the last two lines.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 67 (view)
 
What to do when you meet an amazing man that is commitment phobic!
Posted: 10/10/2009 3:34:09 PM
Let's see: OP says her Boniva Boyfriend has "trust" issues and wants to "take it slow" and she says she is "guarding" herself. Sounds like a match made in heaven to me.

Seriously, I have more of a relationship with the baristas at Starbucks than you have with your "boyfriend". You cannot get to know a guy when you only see him once a month because he will be on his best behavior for that one weekend a month and won't drop his guard so you can see the real guy.

Being truly intimate means dropping your guard and letting the other person in to your life.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 69 (view)
 
Of Fakes and Flakes... A response from OP (what does that stand for, by the way?)
Posted: 10/10/2009 2:54:21 PM
Hey mellow OP - you might want to drop the "75 miles" restriction because there might be a fantastically perfect guy for you who is 76 miles away, who is more than happy to meet half way or travel to your sity BUT due to this restriction, he won't be able to contact you. I understand about not want to do the long distance thing, yet opening up your search without distance restrictions will allow more potential suitors to email you.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Why Do Women Do This ????
Posted: 10/9/2009 7:41:42 PM
OP - your profile says you are 63 - that's not in your '50s'.

Your reaction to her email break-up is the reason so many women employ this method versus face to face break-ups, because they've said "no thanks" in person and the guy became belligerent or violent or insulting. Its easier to fade into the wood work rather than do it in person. Sure it would have been nice if she told you to your face, but perhaps she picked up a clue or two that you wouldn't handle it well so she opted for the easier route of escape. Not everyone is keen on telling someone "no" to their face.

Its not the end of the world. It was one date. Move on to someone else.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Need some advice? Give me your opinion, please
Posted: 10/9/2009 7:14:25 PM
^^^^^ what she said.

You have several of your interests in the body of your profile so you don't need to repeat them except to give us more specifics on two or three of them. You mentioned some things you enjoy but left them out some of your interests, i.e., tubing the river, cooking out, smoking meat. Remember: the more you have listed the more women can search for you. For example, list "Dallas Cowboys" as an "Interest". It doesn't need to be generic "football" although you can list that along with the Dallas Cowboys.

Definitely break up About Me into smaller paragraphs and seriously try starting half of them with something other than "I". Its easier on the eyes and reads more melodically.

Your pics are fine but I'm not a scraggly beard lovin' woman so that would be a turn off. But, if that personifies the real you, then keep it. Just know that not all the ladies will find it attractive (you're attractive but the facial hair itself isn't), jmho.

Also, you are missing a couple of sentences about the type of woman you find attractive. Tell us who will catch your eye.

Best of luck.
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Of Fakes and Flakes...
Posted: 10/9/2009 6:49:25 AM
OP - perhaps if you loosened some of your restrictions, you would meet more men.


Mail Settings (To message mellowellow you MUST meet the following criteria.)
Male
Age between 36 and 53
Live in United States
Live within 75 miles.
Must not have messaged users looking for intimate encounters or sex.
You must have a picture to contact this user.
Must not be looking for Hang Out
Must not be looking for Talk/E-mail
Must not be looking for Other Relationship
Must not be looking for Friendship
Must not be looking for Intimate Encounter
Must not be looking for Activity Partner
Must not be married
Must not smoke
 
Show ALL Forums