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 Author Thread: I'm not much for writing about myself....
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 65 (view)
 
I'm not much for writing about myself....
Posted: 9/29/2013 6:47:21 AM

No offense,

None taken at all...
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 63 (view)
 
I'm not much for writing about myself....
Posted: 9/29/2013 12:32:18 AM
Considering the pick'ns I has on this here island, I'm really thankful for these profiles... Makes it easier to bypass for someone more interesting. And speaking of "interests" - when they only list one or two items - if any at all.. Makes it so hard to find a commonality of conversation point from that
I rarely take time out of my schedule for someone that chooses not to sell themselves in a positive way..
If they should by chance happen to message me with something more than a "Hi", they get about two chances to introduce new subject material
- or encourage the conversation further.
Then they have to really make a strong impact for me to re-prioritize my demands to meet them "that week" (because it's just not gonna happen if we go into the next week/month/year)
I have to chuckle to meself those that expect me to drop an exchange on POF and want to Yahoo Messenger...
As the famous meme goes "ain't got time fo dat"
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Relocating For The Over 45 Crowd.....
Posted: 4/13/2013 8:50:31 PM
I actually have it mentioned in my profile that I would relocate... given the right circumstances...
If his father had co-operated with signing birth abroad papers, my son (and I) would have relocated to USA already... despite great (Autism) services here all my supportive connections are overseas - I have nothing remotely close to friendships/family to keep me here.. And I throve best when living in Western Washington.. So I'd move back there in a heartbeat.
I'm also British by descent and have thought of moving there... But yanno - sometimes it's better to grown where you've landed.
Sx of one, half dozen of the other for me...
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 78 (view)
 
When you give your phone number do you expect calls or texts?
Posted: 4/13/2013 8:37:23 PM
(At nearly 46 am I a dinosaur or a young'n lol) I do dare believe I'm one of the exceptions to the "expecting a call".. as I actually prefer a short text...
Main reason being that I'm a face reading hearing impaired person with an auditory processing disorder - I participate better when I can "see" the other person. I loathe the phone with a passion... I never answer my landline and very few people have my cell number (we can't buy burner phones in Australia)
Also at the moment I have bilateral carpal tunnel syndrome and the action of gripping my phone so tight (to push it up to my ear) brings on excruciating pain (aaaah, after 8 years, relief surgery is just around the corner) Most guys want to rabbit on and on with no plans of meeting, or to not bother making the time to "see" me and would rather have a relationship on the phone... It's not worth the pain to endure that....
So I weed out the "talkers" by keeping my contact to texts...
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 25 (view)
 
How to stay off Facebook...
Posted: 3/17/2013 12:08:16 AM
I too am one of the vacillators connected with WasteBook... took a lot of thinking to pare down my 'social' list from something like 112 to 35, and even then, some of the folks are on 'restricted' list... {best thing was getting rid of the toxic repostarded who would always repost the hoaxes, the freebies and the bl**dy nonsense}

instead of using PC {lots of sitting down} I gloss through on the iPad around lunchtime, and maybe in the evenings... I am subscribed to some interesting groups, as I have a child on the Autism Spectrum and this helps with some support and information finding - but I keep participation to a minimum.

Now my time is instead taken up working out with cardio and weights, only took me two months to drop the 40lb I gained all of last two years sitting on my arse playing those games... as others have suggested, fill up your life with something else... being an at home carer for my son, I am getting a few things organised here - that I chose not to do opting instead for WasteBook, and life now seems so much more clearer. {heck, I might even get a daytime date once in a while in the future :) }

good luck with it...
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Police issue warning to single mothers seeking love on the net
Posted: 10/18/2012 4:39:37 AM
.its not my job to protect morons.


Wow Hilly...harsh much? maybe, just maybe with the influence of some of the 'outside' village, the young'ns might just have a chance at life... Maybe if someone does step in and watch out for them, when nobody else is.
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Police issue warning to single mothers seeking love on the net
Posted: 10/18/2012 4:28:51 AM
Sadly, this was one of my very first experiences of POF...

in true peodo style, he disclosed about 5 weeks after we met... after he had gained a part of a 'connection' {his words, not mine}... In hindsight {with a lot of research on this very behaviour} he was attempting to groom me in a big way... and use manipulation into keeping me around.

Fortunately I was able to to disengage... but there were still many events that were a mystery... and I couldn't help but think that he was responsible.

the whole episode put me right off using POF as a dating tool for a long time... Now I screen much much much more and I'm not afraid to hit delete/block if my gut don't feel right.
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Do First Impressions Still Matter?
Posted: 10/12/2012 10:35:31 PM
Definitely do matter...

and then I was told I was "too picky"...

and that's all I can say about it.
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Dating -- Aussie Rules
Posted: 10/12/2012 10:20:08 PM
What is this 'dating' you speak of??

but seriously... or maybe not so seriously even... I'm really getting put off the thought of dating in the future, when I will have the opportunity because when I'm 'remotely' free in years to come, the 'rules' will have changed all over again.

How anyone ever enters into a relationship these days I just don't know.
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Mid-life sex a hazard
Posted: 10/12/2012 10:13:12 PM
Wow, this discussion took off and infiltrated the group faster than a venereal disease.... {yeah,lame, I know} but then we've ended up with another whole 'mid-life sex' conundrum of 'none and seeking solace in chocolate'... which is another mid-life issue again {if you eat too much of it}... {and if you're playing with it in bed, remember there are places it's NOT supposed to be... - yeah, with housewives reading about 50 Shades of Vanilla icecream in crevices, I can only imagine where chocolate would be played with}

There's no easy way to get around it... it's not like the 'old' days when the pickings were not 'that easy'... and you stayed with the one you had... now it's a case of 'pah, there's another one to pick up on another site, somewhere else". No, I'm not saying that the internet is the 'cause' {in answer to your question RobertAus - and I not going to quote it} however "even a blind squirrel can see there's plenty acorns to pick using that medium"....
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Mid-life sex a hazard
Posted: 10/6/2012 6:22:11 PM
From our local paper, The Mercury: http://www.themercury.com.au/article/2012/10/07/363325_tasmania-news.html

OLDER singles are not heeding the safe-sex message leading to a rise in sexually-transmitted diseases among the over 40s.

Across Australia, new chlamydia cases in people aged over 40 have doubled since 2005, and authorities say Tasmania mirrors the trend.

So far this year 48 Tasmanians aged 40-plus have tested positive for chlamydia (35 men and 13 women) already ahead of last year's total of 43.

From 2007-2011 there were 311 notifications of STIs among people over 40 in Tasmania. Of those, 207 were chlamydia infections; the rest included gonorrhoea, syphilis and HIV.

Tasmania's Chief Health Officer Roscoe Taylor said the statistics did not reflect the size of the problem.

"These STI statistics will significantly under-represent the extent of the problem as they only reflect the numbers of people who have presented for testing and what they have been tested for," he said.

Family Planning Tasmania chief executive Glenn Campbell said older singles were enjoying better health, leading to longer sex lives, and improved access to sexual partners through dating websites.

Dr Taylor said some people who were entering new relationships for the first time in decades had not been part of the condom generation which followed the safe-sex campaigns of the 1980s.

"Some in this age group may not be fully aware of the risks, including those emerging from long-term relationships and those who received insufficient education about safe sex in younger years," he said.

NSW Family Planning last month launched a safe-sex campaign targeted directly at older women who may have less experience with negotiating the use of condoms.

The TV ads advise the over 40s: "Safe sex is an easier conversation to have with your clothes on".

The campaign highlights national data showing the number of new chlamydia cases in people aged 40 and above has doubled since 2005 with 1488 new cases of chlamydia reported in 2011 in women aged 40 and above.

Mr Campbell said older people may also be less worried about pregnancy than younger people.

Those in new relationships should use condoms until each had STI checks, remembering that someone can have an STI while showing no symptoms.


This article actually highlighted a few things for me, that I wouldn't have looked at prior... namely, more men it appears 'may' be presenting for health checks, which is interesting as I have long understood it that men generally don't take their health seriously... and if I'm incorrect... why the low numbers of women?? is it possibly that infected women are participating in unprotected sex with multiple partners?? Are the women now self diagnosing an 'itch' as thrush and treating with over the counter meds, when they actually have something more severe?

The article does mention easier access to 'more' potential partners through dating websites... so how frequently are people skimming through their online contacts, especially since I notice many people back 'searching' within a day after a breakup...

Personally, I am one of the routine checkers, I was tested earlier this year when I began a relationship... and after certain evidence came to light and that involvement ended, I'm waiting through the time frame to have another testing. I regularly purchase new packets of condoms each year, whether in a relationship or not... won't be waiting until the last minute to buy them.. especially after personal incident when I took 'freebies' from DHARDs to USA and they all broke on "us", resulting in surprise...

I know I went through the "seize the moment 80's and the AIDS campaigns.... so why has our age group {40's plus} not been heeding the advise??

thoughts, comments??
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Ignorant door to door salespeople.
Posted: 10/5/2012 3:55:45 AM
I guess that's where I'm lucky down here, because after an 8pm middle of winter doorknock to buy candy, I've had a notice on my door for over a year... and never a door knock do I hear. The occasional religious zealot card left in the jamb, but no knocks. Sign is elaborate but tells them that I won't be answering any knocking... so would they rather spend an hour knocking and harassing, or taking the chance on snaring another victim elsewhere?

Another one I have seen is "The USA won't negotiate with terrorists, neither will I - no deal.. Goodbye"...

I don't give a reason, and have found being polite helps. but I do agree that the caller was in the wrong completely...
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 83 (view)
 
Can't date you because you date around
Posted: 9/28/2012 9:18:49 PM

I don't usually do it but I do not have much issue with - of interesting people come along in numbers simultaneously - going out for those coffee/lunch dates with several people in the same time period. The first date is there to see what the person is actually like, and why should I commit to not meeting other people and get to know them more until it clicks with one of them? Once it starts getting somewhere, I would not date several people just because it takes effort to build a relationship and there is only one me and very little time and energy left to spend on dating, and building two or more relationships just does not work. Plus, I just do not have time to seriously date many people. But at any rate, if you won't date me because of the way I date or don't date (or because I am fat, or cane from "wrong" ethnic background, or do not share your faith or political beliefs or do not like the band that you do - or whatever) then we are not going to date and I am moving on. What's the question, again? In some major way, I don't really care WHY you won't date me. There are billions of men on this planet who will not date me, each for a reason, even if is because they don't know me and live 2000 miles away, but reason nonetheless. I mean, if BEFORE you decide we are not right for each other you ask me if I would mind that you see other people/I don't see other people or whatever, I might be open to a conversation. But if you decide that because I had coffee with another guy the same week I had coffee with you we are not to be - well - let me think - hmmm.... welll.... .......... Nope. Still don't care.

On the other hand, if you are sleeping with me and I discover you also sleep with other girls - I might not really like it a lot and will probably lose interest.



if there was a "like" button, I'd be liking this... thanks Massha for summing it up.
We're not everybody's cup of tea.... some things we will like, some we won't and we move on.

down here the pool is not that big, and I don't have 'that' much spare time, so out of practicality, I generally end up only dating one on one. However if the circumstances were different, I'd certainly invest a little more extra time into multiple dating for finding that extra special person.
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Should Online Communication Be This Hard?
Posted: 9/28/2012 6:46:59 PM
OP, this is an international phenomenon... I have many same issues with online connections here... {and my pool is much much much smaller}
I would have thought that anyone reading my profile here might garner that I like a conversation.. that I give details... that being said - I like to receive that back. So when I don't - like others have posted here and mentioned - I presume the person is not that interested in me and I move on.
I only have so much energy and I'm not carrying a conversation one sided.
I also refrain {as much as possible} from initiating contact with other parties... this {I believe} I have made quite clear.. I can tell from opening discussions if someone has read my profile or not.

In my opinion, conversation {in reality and online} should flow.. and keep you wanting to have more... {but that's just me}
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 50 (view)
 
smoking, nicotine patches...& quit smoking...
Posted: 9/26/2012 6:04:27 AM

One smartie mate kept offering me a fag.Sad thing was i nearly had one.That would have been the end i think and i would have started smoking again.


This is one reason I emphatically state in my profile that I'll not date a smoker... just being around one, is likely to have me starting up again... and I've been quit far too long to take that risk. {I quit once before for 3 years until a stressful moment saw it too easy to buy a new packet on the spot} After 8 years, I still get cravings and at super stressful moments I go in search of the very very last one of the 8yo packet - just to 'hold' it between fingers.

I was kinda helped to quit in as much as I was {unknowingly} pregnant... and every time I tried to take a hit, I hurled and threw up... {not a good look at Melbourne Domestic Airport...}
The one cig I have left is from the USA... and I've told myself that as the cheap biatch I am, I am not to buy a new packet until the last one is fully smoked... well, there's my grounds. I am not desperate enough to smoke an 8yo cigarette. {and now my packs are nearly $20, I couldn't even afford to smoke}
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Assorted cream biscuits -- the great stand off...
Posted: 9/22/2012 10:33:22 PM
The cookie tin is empty at the moment, we're nearing the end of school break here and we were supposed to bake some from scratch, but errr uymmm, frozen choc chip coookie dough just kinda never made it to the oven.

I'll get a spare moment around Wednesday morning to bake more...

It's a rare, rare, rare moment he has cookies from the store.
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Fapstronauts... 90 Days without...
Posted: 9/22/2012 4:49:31 AM

there is no way anyone can convince me that going without an orgasm for 90 days is going to reduce my stress level....



I didn't even realise the challenge had been set... Very nearly there... my last intercourse {dudsville} was July, porn is not my thang... haven't masterbated at all.

But golly, I wound up tighter than a spring on a windup toy....

I may have a possible meet next week and I may very well break my 'no kissing first date' rule because I gonna snap if I don't get me some skin to skin sensual contact... soooooon.

Uptight?? you betcha...
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Sex! What is the funniest sexual experience that you ever had?
Posted: 9/1/2012 6:32:08 AM
aaaaah, to delve back to think about the funniest moments.... and select 'just one??'... too impossible.. there were so many occasions to laugh with and at... {getting caught by mother and having her cheer to my partner "ride her cowboy"... to the having to explain to children that we were playing 'possum pile'... or even the furniture collapsing.... }

but my most favorite em-bare-ass-ing post coital moment was when a few of us girls were saying goodbye to our male companions who were set to sail after a week's festivity and R&R celebrations... my companion and I ducked down to the car for one last time, and in the craziness I lost my clothing under seats... in preparing to return to our group, I was able to retrieve a light summer dress from overnight bag... and we made our way to the group two floors up...
and one of my friends in the group hollers out before we could get within talking earshot "but you weren't wearing that when you went down!!!"...

ummm, thanks... I think
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Risk taking in midlife
Posted: 7/30/2012 1:41:58 AM
Definitely less, as at the moment... I have a seven year old totally 100% reliant upon me remaining in his life. In fact one of the last big risks I took was flying across the world to meet his father. Hmmm. Kids certainly know how to put a 'halt' on the fun. lol

I do, however, hope to regain part of my 'excitablity' and adventure when he's older and independent... and I hope I can impart the benefit of age and wisdom in his life, so that he also sees the benefits in taking risks - albeit, very calculated risks. {currently, he has no fear so he has no idea of 'what can go wrong'. }
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 51 (view)
 
Lots of msgs in your inbox?
Posted: 7/29/2012 11:46:11 PM
Bummer, no boobie shots for me... I even forgot to describe the girls in my profile...
however:"

trust me to lament my big feets in a foot fetish thread and I have all the requests for pictures of my hoofers...

crud!!
as for dating interest... not much Must be this Taswegian thang... Fresh blood is not good enough here. lol
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 61 (view)
 
he says he wants more, but doesnt show it?
Posted: 7/18/2012 4:27:20 PM
I've just gotten out of something like this - had months of "oh, am I being too cautious?", "I've been cheated on and it left me unable to trust" and "one day it will happen"... and lots of "love yous"...

although his behaviours did not match that and deep down I knew I had a player but it was mixed emotions about getting out {other stressors}... and I was always alert to other verbal things said - such as "if you feel free to need to relocate for your son's sake, I won't stop you - don't let me get in the way"...

yep, he thinks it is okay to date around... for HIM but not for me...

luckily I physically caught him in another lie and although I'm being abused for my now silence, severed contact is the best thing for me.

Do the same, the guy you're involved in sounds the same and if you're not strong enough to break with him 'in person', do it another way. You'll only end up messed up.

ETA:
Whoops, should read through comments first, Ms SpittyKitty sums it up perfectly.... Thanks for the effort in your comment
and for reinforcement

So, building on what others and mzee said:
1. Break things off immediately. Do NOT make it a heartwrenching discussion. Best to call him. State your decision and tell him good bye. Do NOT discuss it. Do NOT explain yourself. Do NOT let the conversation last more than a few minutes. If he tries to talk, interrupt him, restate by saying "my drcision is FINAL, good bye", and hang up.
2. Do NOT read his texts or phone calls. Better yet, call your phone provider and BLOCK his number so you won't even be tempted to read them. It only takes 5 minutes.
3. Block him on email,facebook, pof. PERIOD.
4. If he comes to your door, restate that "you are sorry, but it is over, good bye". Shut the door in his face. Do NOT invite him in. Step on the porch if ANYTHING.
5. If he stalks you, ignore him. Promises from him? Don't listen. SHUT HIM DOWN. Do not give him ANY fuel to use.
6. If you obsess about him, CHANGE your mind. Get busy. Do ANYTHING to stay strong. Even if it's hard physical labor. Heck! Scrub your tub or floor. Go out with your girlfriends. DO NOT talk about him.
DELETE DELETE DELETE
7. Be wiser. Find someone better. Apply wisdom.
Good luck.
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Call him on his lie? Pretend I don't know? Disappear without a word?
Posted: 7/18/2012 8:26:59 AM
I was finally able to catch a liar in his tracks this week... after 5 months

I won't give him any further time or energy.

Take it from an older woman, he's still looking for something 'different' {to you}.
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Ending a relationship via text message/email
Posted: 7/18/2012 7:42:43 AM
this week...I severed with no communication, what I had been understanding was a monogomous relationship. Before everybody leaps on me, I had known for a while that this fellow hadn't been telling 'entire' truths and I knew he was actively pursuing others on other dating sites .. and Monday morning I just happened to catch him in another 'untruth' in a face to face situation.
I felt and believed there was nothing more to be said after he walked away from me. Moreso after two days of no contact.

In other scenarios:
I have been dumped by text... when I was the other side of the country... one week away from coming home. That sucked...

I have always tried to break up with people to their faces... even to the point of driving 3 hours one time to do so. It's not easy, they are in pain, shock and denial, and they want to lash out and hurt you as much as they are hurting... so I believe it shows character if you can put yourself in the path of that hurt.
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Called her the wrong name!
Posted: 7/13/2012 10:10:14 PM
This is one of the major peeves of the fellow at the moment... and I've actually joked to him that his 'behaviour' would have him classified as a 'player' if he were out there .... coz I'm called all manner of "gorgeous", "sexy" and "sweetie... then I began getting 'named' texts so that was at least a stage better. "{and I have joked to him that when he's leaving that he has to go catch up with his other 'floozies' - just light hearted }

agreed that it does depend on the situation....

I hate getting my son and his bestie's names mixed up.... and often call the 'new' dog by the 'old' (deceased) dog's name.... thank goodness for caller ID and I can name the person I answer their call LOL
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 71 (view)
 
ls too much SEX bad for you??? ..lol
Posted: 5/4/2012 7:17:18 PM
Well, if the "WTF was that" I got yesterday was 'sex' then I'm going to have to 'retract' my 'no' from 2009

That was a disaster and then the selfish sod says "Happy Birthday"... say what???

Rephrase to "too much GREAT sex" and then I'll agree....
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 141 (view)
 
Screening while on POF
Posted: 4/24/2012 10:41:55 PM
Ding ding ding,we have a winner... a post/thread that leaves me without words. {plus I'd only be echoing all the pages before me}

EXCEPT that yes, there are 'some' applications that indicate when mail has arrived in the mailbox of a recipient. I was shown this app late last year by a teacher so on 'this' basis, maybe, just maybe OP is sending emails to the 'fellow'. Hence he's getting a "beep" to alert him that she's on POF - I know of no other apps that 'stalk' the arrivals and departures of POF users

otherwise, dang this thread is worthy of a longneck and chips and I'll be......
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Profiles that say “Looking for my life partner”, “Someone to grow old with”. Etc.
Posted: 4/24/2012 3:20:57 AM
I simply view it that they are ultimately hoping to find a LTR and therefore didn't feel 'dating' was appropriate to them as even though that's how the journey begins. They are trying to specify they hope for more then serial dating forever and are able and willing to make a commitment if they find the right person.

I guess the other extreme is those who put friends as their intent and yet when you take the time to ask them to explain, they simply mean a relationship which is based on friendship first. Often times they do not mean they hope to end up with someone who will accompany them on a walk around the subdivision once a week.





if someone is ultimately seeking marriage, then why bother "dating" someone who doesnt want the same thing? I dont want to waste my time "dating" people who do not see themselves settling down. Im only interested in dating men who are marriage minded, or at very least looking for a life-long relationship like myself.



I don't know if I want to get married again.


I'm currently involved with someone who made a subject line of this very nature. I wasn't purposely bypassing the profiles however I didn't make a point of looking specifically.

In my profile I clearly indicate that "right now" I'm not looking to marry or cohabitate... however, I'm definitely looking for something long term for which I'm willing to put in the work and effort to be a part of {hey, if I can put up with him in another house for long enough and I might just change my mind come nursing home time}...
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Getting out there
Posted: 4/22/2012 2:47:40 AM
I'm inclined to be following the 'showing your kids' that you are dating, as long as you are actually performing 'functional' dating. {there are many kids exposed to a lot of dysfunctional dating - I don't have to go there do I?}

I was not taught how to have a 'functional' relationship and so this dating stuff is a major learning curve for me and I am trying to pass my knowledge on to my child who will need to know about relationships further in his life so that he is not as easily taken advantage of.

I have chosen to carefully and gradually introduce my [young] son to my beau so that he can see how a gentleman treats a lady and so in the future, treats others with same respect. Fortunately, some of our 'outing' activities are also accompanied by my beau's mother so my son also has an opportunity to interact with a 'grandmother' figure as he has none in his life. Bonus at this stage of his life I reckon...
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
The guy is seeing someone else but still wants to meet me..
Posted: 4/21/2012 5:06:13 PM
That number would hit my DNA list so quick - that's a lottttttttta red flags even just 'reading' the circumstances.

NO go...
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 98 (view)
 
Do you touch your partner's head as he/she performs oral?
Posted: 4/21/2012 5:54:16 AM
When I'm giving, I'm in control and I don't like much attention to my head, the occasional hair whisps taken away is okay but no head holding and definitely no attempts for deep throats etc... so rather than him laying there with his hands to the side or behind his head... I prefer to handhold {just one hand is enough although two is good also} so that I can determine arousal by 'hand' triggers... gives me yet another 'tangible' point of connection with him.

On the receiving end... I do touch his head... however will try to allow him to concentrate on what he's doing and will do my hands 'elsewhere' to take care of 'me'... yes, even sometimes there will be that other 'handhold' connection that I feel brings us closer.

damn, a girl is gonna need to step outside before going to bed tonight.... this discussion has me 'hot'...
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Kids in the car...
Posted: 4/21/2012 5:30:30 AM
Well, my boy, {and yes, he's on the Spectrum} doesn't have any of that...except with me being unable to operate my radio we listen to 'educational' sing along CD's...

I have taken the front passenger's headrest off the seat so he has a better 'view' of up the road... and he is now 'learning' the road rules and signs.. tells me when a speed change is occurring "mom, drop down to 80km an hour" or "road is going to wiggle"... or "red light, I can have a chew candy now"...

Not every trip has a CD in place, We do talk a lot but he has also learned that there are parts of the road he cannot talk to me on... such as the 'bridge' and when we do go over, I do the talking and it's usually a 'social story' moment where I'm using the opportunity in some way to teach him about life in order to help him with 'his' anxieties {such as my intense fear of crossing bridges and how it scares the bejeebies outta me but I know I just have to get on and do it in order for us to get to places}

and as for cell phone, it is never used while he's in the car with me - handsfree, speakerphone or otherwise.
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 106 (view)
 
Faking It
Posted: 4/21/2012 4:21:22 AM
Why is it I'm reminded of the punchline "I never new how to fake it before I met you...."

Meanwhile... I spent too many years 'faking' under the misguided notion that I wasn't important enough.
Now that I know what I had been missing, it's no way in heck am I gonna fake and he'll know it when I do orgasm. Won't happen 'every time', I know that but I won't fake it.

On topic, a guy who says a gal 'should', won't ever get another chance....
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 80 (view)
 
The sex sucked and the person you've been dating is...
Posted: 4/21/2012 4:05:53 AM
Check to 'all the above'...

but I had to take the high road and just admit 'no chemistry'.

{thanks for the ideas Elgalawaat }
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 16 (view)
 
What's the worst thing you've heard on a first date?
Posted: 4/21/2012 3:29:46 AM
I really should get out more... haven't had any 'this' good in a long time. Back [before child came along] one line was "you're late, you don't paint your toenails"..
{in hindsight I shoulda spun right around and walked out there and then}

Coffee meet last year was my only recent 'shocker' when he said "I never got a chance to get to the ATM" {Yeah, I covered it - I was expecting to go dutch anyway} and then he said "next one is on me, here's my address"...

Yikes!!!!
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 48 (view)
 
I'm not single..Is complementing women online considered cheating??
Posted: 4/21/2012 3:18:31 AM
Whilst in my current "seeing someone" mode, I have messaged a forumite to compliment him on a profile well written. This I felt was a positive boost to his self esteem and nudge of encouragement in case he was not receiving as many contacts that I believed such a well written {and super assed funny} profile should have had.

He thanked me in return, gave me a compliment also... and really, we left it at that.

However, I never would have complimented 'him or his appearance' persay, whilst in my 'taken' mode... that I believe is considered 'flirting' or 'seeking'.

so while the OP compliments ' the women themselves' especially if they are not forumites, inspite of his profile indicating 'not single', I consider that to be cheating... moreso if his partner does not know about his profile here.. {I too am interested in that answer.... }
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Breast Reductions
Posted: 4/20/2012 7:25:34 AM
Our family, first daughters are cursed with the big boobs {second daughters get the hips} so two of us {my cousin and me} have had ours done {my mother missed out} I had mine done when I was seventeen.
Surgeon removed about 9lb from each breast... I could not believe the change in my whole outlook on life... {and whoah, to wear 'lacy' numbers instead of the 'no nonsense matron' numbers was awesome}

Attempting breastfeeding was a little traumatic {as I struggled to make remaining ducts do the work and I did have other stressors} but I did supply line feed for 9 months however I read that that is not an issue for you.

truly, you won't look back, this is the greatest feeling - and any 'pain' is easily forgotten. {well, except for the drain tubes coming out, that's a little weird}
and it will be much easier to handle the 'little' one without the pendulous mammaries swinging about...
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Hidden agendas, friendship or just sees this as a passing fling?
Posted: 4/18/2012 5:30:26 AM
All in all, I thought (generally) Tassie guys were jerks... This guy is a complete nob and takes the cake.

In my life I have found DNA is the most helpful thing {and I have a DNA list a mile long in my cell phone}

Do Not Answer

&

Do NOT Attempt [contact]

He has 'put you down' in such a manner that you're fawning/deliberating over what's important to 'him'??? Something flawed in this logic.

DO get out and set achievable goals for yourself... you set them, to make YOU feel better, from the halo of your awesome hair to the tickly bits on your toes... {yes, some tickly bits is sexy}

Other posters here have put it so succinctly, but I'm more down to earth.. don't waste any more time on this fool. YOU are the majorly most important person to please....
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Meet up/ date without really talking first?
Posted: 4/14/2012 4:31:57 AM
Normally, I'm in with the 'meet within a week or two' camp...my exception was this last summer when I had no child care and I did 'how's the weather, whatcha doin' chit chat' emails back and forth with a few potentials . Finally as the 8 weeks pulled to a close, there were three contenders.... one (in person) was definitely not my type, the other there was a distance/time consideration factor and well, #3 - although we hadn't said much at all in emails; when I saw him at ten feet away - I wanted to rip his clothes off him - that set the mood for fun and enjoyment for what was supposed to be an initial 30 min meet that turned into nearly 3 hours.

It's a tricky situation, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't...
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 29 (view)
 
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 4/8/2012 3:24:09 AM
If I'm interested in someone, I'll make an effort to find out more about them so most definitely.... and even 'current' fellow has indicated he read mine and said that I was way out of his league... so much for that - cos I'm kinda over him like beans on toast ... lol
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Starting a Network of single parents both men and woman
Posted: 4/4/2012 5:01:22 AM
This was the very reason I actually joined POF in the first place many many eons ago... to meet other parents who would normally have kept to themselves in a situation.. as I believe that back 'then', platonic friendships was an option in the website... if a 'relationship' came out of it through mutual interest, then all the better...

so this is a brilliant idea

Sadly I'm stuck down by the bottom of the world in Tasmania and we don't get off the island much... lol

hope you've had some good responses...
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Ignoring texts
Posted: 4/3/2012 6:14:37 AM
Cell phones are for texting?? dang do I have it wrong then?? {please, you will note sarcasm won't you??}

Mine is on me all day everyday because I use the alarms for micromanaging my son and our time...

however, if a text does come in, and I don't have the spare moment there and then, it's not answered immediately. I do however, try to get texts returned before the end of the day. I guess that's a courtesy at least. {but then I only have one person to text too, so they're pretty cluey about my situation, and they don't return texts immediately either}
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Would you care to share.......your DNA?
Posted: 3/30/2012 6:51:10 PM
^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^

Sheesh, my 7yo is going to be so disappointed now... he had such great plans...

 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Would you care to share.......your DNA?
Posted: 3/30/2012 5:10:47 PM
It was only because of the major hiccups I had to go through determining paternity for my son that I even began thinking of this 8 years ago... with the influx of the internet in our world, I was thinking along lines of a worldwide DNA database - for every human being... I thought of the ethics and legalities, privacy and complications of such an endeavor... tis not an easy minefield to maneuver...

Would it make people more accountable for their actions, would they 'alter' their behaviour - such as one night stands without contraceptives if the men"knew" they would HAVE to pay child support for an ensuing pregnancy, would women 'randomly' choose a fellow if she then HAD to deal with him for the rest of her 'childs' life??

What about the 99% close enough is enough stand, to convict a 'twin' on murder... when their sibling did it?? What about 'third twin' scenario depicted by Ken Follett, one of the hidden 'kids'?? That certainly made for interesting reading and although fiction, when DNA is 'cloned'... who's to say that chaos won't reign supreme? My son often talks about cloning several of me, one to do the housework, one to do the cooking and another to play with him... who's to say it's not the playing one of me that gets so frustrated with paying the attention penalty that I take us out, but the cooking 'me' gets jailed??

I'm guessing that dating itself would be altered yet again because not only would we have visually pleasing attributes to determine first attractions, who would be knocked back for say Autism traits in their genetics - all easily put on a DNA register if it was expanded {I speak of that as close to home - certainly would have changed my decisions 8 years ago...}

makes ya wonder and I've often wished I could be viewing through a spy camera on the wall if this subject were raised in an Ethics class... how would the discussions be different in say highschool, University and an old aged home??

I understand your not being able to take a firm stand Hilly- and it's where I'm sitting too... {that fence may have a fair few sitting on it, I'm surprised it's still standing}

have fun with this peoples, I'll be watching this discussion with interest... {it's the closest I've got to that spy camera}
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Taxpayers - Is it ok to Rip off the System while your working your &^(&^off ???
Posted: 3/20/2012 9:17:45 PM
sorry Ms Red... I phrased that last bit incorrectly, point about the 'children' living housing homes.... it was when they take over occupation.
I'm all for them making their own 'application' for a housing home and joining the 8 year waitlist {varies in each state, but that's some of the numbers I've heard for Tassie - makes me hesitant to apply}, but when the parent's 'move on' {in whatever capacity} and the 'children' ... especially some who have NOT been in the position of 'caring' for the elderly parent... take over living in the property that could be released back to someone waiting for a property - that's when I become irritated... queue jumping in my eyes is the equivalent of fraud - whether it be state or federal.

I won't debate the 'budgeting skills' of those on the single parent benefit here - that's another whole discussion except to say that families can eat properly and live in adequate {not necessarily posh} private housing if it is necessary. Not at all meaning to imply I'm 'better' at it but I've managed for 8 years now.

and while I don't deny that my situation in particular is tough, I'm in no way looking for pity... I made the choices - I wear the responsibility of those choices. Something that I believe many more people could do in their own lives instead of blaming others for being in certain circumstances.

MsPookie... hope you'll find out the outcome of this case, I for one would be interested to see how it pans out.
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Autism Spectrum Disorder
Posted: 3/20/2012 5:17:53 AM
Aaah, Awetism... I live with it daily... just had yet another day of beatings and bitings from my 7yo Aspie ... because a visit to investigate Equine Therapy resulted in 'no ride' and he wanted a 'ride' on the horse. **siiiigh**

Have found the 'worst' part of the diagnosis is realising just how truly isolated and alone I am... and the concept of 'support' is only a 'spectrum' within itself and nothing 'concrete'. {if that makes any sense} Have only just been able to access 3 hours respite per week and that was for Uni until today's decision to withdraw. {just can't cope} so sorry if this 'offends' but I find the 'social work' aspect to this 'sucks'.

as an older mom, I still fear the future and how he will manage in life if anything were to happen to me.
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Taxpayers - Is it ok to Rip off the System while your working your &^(&^off ???
Posted: 3/20/2012 1:30:13 AM
Pookie, as a benefit recipient {by the grace of the taxpayers}I too am furious with the 'fraud' that happens. Blantantly, at the most obvious times. I do what I can possible for a helping hand UP, but I do not go for a hand OUT... I have a dream of being back in the workforce and my son also being a responsible contributing member of society.

For want of answering your question, NO... and it's up to society to indicate that it's not acceptable.
When I was pregnant, I was told by others to put 'father unknown' on my son's birth certificate as then I'd gain extra benefits and wouldn't have to go after the man in USA for child support. {sheesh, how nice was that going to look in 18 years when son took his birth cert to office and staff assumed his mother 'slept around'?? In the hospital waiting room at a prenatal appointment I overheard a young {working capable} girl say "I hope there's something wrong with my baby because then I'll get extra money".

I know of people who have claimed benefits in married name and worked fulltime under maiden name, lived in full defacto relationship whilst claiming single parenting benefits and, in other cases, purely so that they wouldn't HAVE to work -* sought multiple paediatric opinions until they got one that said their child was disabled with ADHD so they could claim Carers Payment. I know of 'children' of elderly people living in Government funded housing after the parent has passed away or gone to live in a nursing home... or in hospital long term... so housing waitlists increase...

After yet another day of beatings and bitings from my Autistic son - who only attends school 3 hours a day {on the best days}, I've had to make the decision to transfer to Carer's Payment... I'd love nothing more than to increase my one University unit to take on more in order to be a 'taxpayer' {again} in the future but it continues to seem impossible given that the resources fraudulently claimed by others make it harder for me to access them easily... and this impacts on even that 'one' unit {yes I'm also withdrawing from that}

I could go on, but there's not the room here or the time in the night... I have a friend who has done his time for fraud and he has said, it's not worth the money. I trust and hope that commonsense will prevail in this case and the person of interest will have a heavy penalty.



*{and considering those that 'triapse' their kids to specialist to specialist - they will find one because the first paed that I consulted in WA was the one who promoted prescribing unwanted Ritalin in the first appointment... and I repeatedly turned down }
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 59 (view)
 
Has anyone ever been in a relationship with a Hoarder?
Posted: 3/12/2012 4:05:06 AM
Hello, my name is Akizzej.
I have a problem with S H I T - Surplus Harboring Incidious Tendencies

To the point of how 'bad' it is, I have 10yo Muscle & Fitness mags as well as 20 year old dressmaking fabrics that 'one day when I'm slimmer, I'll have sewn into gorgeous outfits'...

I have to agree that being raised 'without much', my 'property/possessions' then becomes my 'security'... I am slowly trying to tell myself that 'I can buy it again if I need it' but then it becomes 'and also when are you going to get the time, energy and inclination to buy it again when you need it? {often I am housebound by an Autism Spectrum child who won't work 'with' me when we go out, no I have no-one I can leave him with} I agree definitely that it's an 'outer' manifestation of what's happening with one's internal mind behaviours too. {I find it hard to discard some strong memories, often giving rent free space in my mind to things that really are not important in the grand scheme of things - but I dare believe part of that is also life long clinical depression}

I try to justify 'holding' as an environmental benefit that I don't have to use fuel to go buy new items, and that by storing here until I can use - I'm doing my part to avoid landfill and waste at the dump. This I 'am' trying to overcome.

I do recognise improvements in my life though... for a while I was involved with a hoarder who had modified his one bedroomed apartment to make it 'two' bedroomed so that he could ' take in' his broken {adult} child... and then they could not turn down anything 'free'. When their apartment was 'filled'... they began storing in my basement... after nearly two years of no access into the space, and many of the things were getting wet and damaged I HAD to make an ultimatum of out by 'this' date or to the dump it goes. Funnily enough, it removed more S H I T than I expected because the fellow never contacted me again.
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 64 (view)
 
Herpes Dating
Posted: 3/10/2012 4:40:16 PM

Personally, I'd like to be a fly on the wall when the herpes-phobes open up their test results and scream when they find out that they have it too.


Dang, I'd pay good money for that...


Sorry for the interrruption, now back to the subject?? Ummm, "only date those with the virus" ?? nup - not on your nelly... I have actually come across a few people open minded enough to accept the calculated risks and shock horror, even be tested for the virus themselves... some to discover they were actually positive when they had been asymptomatic.
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 67 (view)
 
The trait which defines you
Posted: 3/10/2012 3:48:57 AM
Thank you Glenoran, for a lovely topic...

hmmm, keeping it clean?? well, there goes my innuendo...

So I'd have to settle for my passion for trying to 'better' myself... to keep going when all appears impossible... and therein joins my sense of humor... not afraid to find a humorous facet to a situation.
 Akizzej
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 40 (view)
 
The One that Got Away
Posted: 3/10/2012 1:19:54 AM
Yes... there was the one, but I was far too messed and screwed up as a (very) young woman to understand his qualities and essences.

Decades later, we have caught up and have become friends on FB. Our reunion 'face to face' hug seemed to hold an entire lifetime of catch up... felt good. Although he is married, in a'sentimental crappy' together friends moment we once talked about how if one of us {yes, me} had said "yes" instead of "no", how our lives would be very well different.

I'm sure that without realising it, I've always used him as a 'yardstick' of the measure of man that I become involved with.

aaah, fuzzy nut!!
 
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