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Thread: Why do you shoot yourselves in the feet with bad pictures?

Joined: 5/2/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

Why do you shoot yourselves in the feet with bad pictures? Posted: 8/24/2009 12:00:22 AM
Then I don't know << Say you need it to attach to your resume on Monster.com XD

Joined: 5/2/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

Why do you shoot yourselves in the feet with bad pictures? Posted: 8/23/2009 11:55:46 PM
Well you don't have to tell them it's for a dating site :p Just say it is for Myspace...Myspace is socially acceptable now, is it not? XD (Don't ask me though, I do not find anyone of interest on there, so it holds no appeal to me).

Joined: 5/2/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Why do you shoot yourselves in the feet with bad pictures? Posted: 8/23/2009 11:38:07 PM
...Nonetheless, you don't want to scare off potential dates before ever having a chance to strike up a conversation with them, do you? Isn't it better to post a picture of yourself that perhaps shows you in your best light, talk to a person for a while, then meet them in the flesh and let them decide for themselves? Or are you afraid that the person would actually be rude enough to call you ugly to your face and you couldn't handle the rejection if that happened?

Joined: 5/2/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Why do you shoot yourselves in the feet with bad pictures? Posted: 8/23/2009 11:30:43 PM
Um, I'm afraid I don't understand you. Is this not a dating site? Is the purpose of making a profile here not to impress others and hope to find a date here? Who else would you be posting the pictures for if not for the people you're hoping to attract? And Whatacrazyplace--your response made me laugh a lot XD Obviously if you are good at being funny, you will have a better chance at finding a girl, so you are fortunate in that. And the pictures I see on your profile are not that bad. Not as bad as many I have seen on other profiles. shudder

Joined: 5/2/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

Why do you shoot yourselves in the feet with bad pictures? Posted: 8/23/2009 11:24:53 PM
Okay, I know other threads about this have been started, but none of them really seem to have a decent answer to this question, and I really am wondering about it-- Why do so many of you guys ruin your profile by uploading really bad pictures of yourself? Blurry, unfocused, bad lighting--or worse, ones that make you look overweight (more than you really might be, I mean), extremely ruddy, crazy eyebrows, etc.? What's especially baffling to me is when a guy has multiple pictures in his profile, some of them are halfway decent or even good, but then the rest are just TERRIBLE! If you have GOOD pictures to upload, why do you add on the bad ones too?? I'd really like to know the serious answer to this. Is it that you're unaware that the pictures are terrible? Or do you feel that it's necessary to have as many pictures as possible uploaded, even if they make you look terrible?

Joined: 5/2/2009

Msg: 147 (view)

untrue profiles Posted: 5/29/2009 11:21:21 PM
The biggest disappointment I've noticed in differences between profiles and real life is guys that claim to be 'nice' and 'decent', but are actually extremely perverted and very rude, heh. Just last night, a guy who was IMing me accused me of being a 'heffer' (his word, not mine, misspelling and all) because I didn't want to meet him in real life the same day I initially contacted him. Such a disappointment :\ And-- The best thing to do is to meet them very soon after the introduction, this way you can avoid the pitfalls of becoming to involved with a fantasy image you have created in your mind by reading too much into their profile. I actually disagree, I mean yes you shouldn't keep it online only for so long that you lose track of reality, but at the same time, chatting with them a LITTLE bit before the actual meeting gives you a chance to see their inner crazy, if indeed they be so :p

Joined: 5/2/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Question for the ladies - need perspective Posted: 5/29/2009 11:19:21 PM
Pretty much what everyone else said (especially the first two responses) but also, on the first date, being asked so many serious and direct questions (i.e. "Do you like me? Do you think I'm attractive? Do you see us dating from here on out?") that I never have a moment to calm down and actually enjoy the experience. Asking such questions tends to put a girl on the spot, which in turn makes her uncomfortable, souring the experience. Of course, I also never forgot one first date I went on with a guy (who lied about his height, incidentally--5'6"? Try 4'8"!) whose every third comment was something perverted and/or sexually oriented. Talk about awkward!

Joined: 5/2/2009

Msg: 28 (view)

Any opinions? Posted: 5/29/2009 11:14:20 PM
Er, am I to understand that it's unusual and rude for a girl not to offer up physical contact on the first date (and first meeting, too, really)? Because to be honest, that sounds like what I would have done if I'd been on a date that was pleasant but I felt no chemistry to the guy.. Well, although I probably would pay for my own ticket, so the guy could have no complaints afterward of being 'scammed' :p

Joined: 5/2/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

My first actual online meet Posted: 5/29/2009 11:06:45 PM
Well I'm a girl and I'd love to see Terminator << But yeah, the friend thing was uber-tacky. Maybe he was just nervous, though. You know, wanted to go on a double-date but didn't have another couple to invite, so he invited a solitary friend :p (not that that necessarily exonerates him, but it's something to keep in mind).

Joined: 5/2/2009

Msg: 104 (view)

How do you make yourself be attracted to the unattractive? Posted: 5/28/2009 3:28:32 PM
You know it amazes me how you are all naturally assuming that I think I am like unto a god. Actually, I don't think I'm that attractive--I'd even say I'm ugly--in my very first post, I said "I'm fairly attractive--OR SO THEY SAY." Since apparently tongue in cheek humor is too ambiguous these days, let me enunciate before I see one more comment similar to "if ur so hot y dont hot guys like you hur hur" or "looks fade, yours will too": I DON'T THINK I AM ALL THAT ATTRACTIVE. However, that is a MOOT POINT. Obviously, if I did think I was attractive, I wouldn't have the desire to lower my standards to someone I could actually get. And yes, I do say 'lowering my standards' because to say otherwise is a play of semantics, a waste of time-- I am not 'all that', therefore it's unreasonable for me to be on the look-out for males who are 'all that', because quite simply, in my age range, attractive guys do not date girls they do not find attractive! Yes that is a blanket statement, but nonetheless to all observations by me and every other source I've looked into, it's true! I really give up. Very few of you are actually reading what my original post--my original question is, and instead immediately assume that I'm some kind of stuck-up b!tch complaining that no guys are 'hot enough' for me. Wrong. I was asking for advice from others who might be in my same situation on how they got out of it--if they found a way to 'trick' themselves into being less hung-up on looks, or if they held out until they found the complete package, if indeed such a thing exists. Okay, I'm done. Go back to belittling me as it please you :D

Joined: 5/2/2009

Msg: 81 (view)

How do you make yourself be attracted to the unattractive? Posted: 5/27/2009 6:13:35 PM
You don't. That's just called settling. Well, when I am cursed in that I don't find the types who are actually attracted to me attractive in turn, I don't really have a choice, do I? It's that or die single. The crux is deciding which is the lesser evil, I suppose.

Joined: 5/2/2009

Msg: 2512 (view)

Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women. Posted: 5/27/2009 4:12:00 PM
Of course in this post you're assuming that all attractive women are female dogs o.- Yes, males usually have to make the first contact, but it's not like that's limited to online interactions--how long has it been the social moré that it's unusual for girls to ask guys out in a date?

Joined: 5/2/2009

Msg: 65 (view)

How do you make yourself be attracted to the unattractive? Posted: 5/27/2009 2:51:30 PM
So confused. I keep hearing two opposing viewpoints- That I shouldn't go out with someone if I don't find them initially attractive because it's leading them on, or that I should go out with them, and hope that attraction blooms when I know them better. How could I possibly do both? As for all the negativity I keep getting, that's funny, I don't remember asking you all to rate my profile. I was asking more about life in general, not just on dating sites, or specifically this site.

Joined: 5/2/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

Meeting after only one message/mail....why? Posted: 5/26/2009 9:12:55 PM
Sweet J- I had one guy spazz out on me today for that reason--I told him I can't meet right now because I'm busy with school finals, but once school finishes and we've chatted a bit, I'd be glad to meet him. His response was an insult-written page full of such gems such as 'you're shooting me down like a d**che' and 'you're so stuck up' ... because I didn't want to meet him right away, and for a valid reason that had nothing to do with him, too e.e What can you do? I think because it's the internet and the guys figure that being shot down once means they'll never have a chance with you, so why not burn the bridge behind them by leaving in the wake of a hissy fit?

Joined: 5/2/2009

Msg: 64 (view)

hot guy when met in real life was anything but sexy Posted: 5/26/2009 8:48:55 PM
Well yeah most guys I've met have looked worse in real life than in their pictures, but not drastically. What I hated was a first date with a guy where he suddenly turned manic depressive, cried, and told me how he planned to hire a prostitute as soon as he finished his military tour and go out in the desert to commit suicide. I guess he was reeeally lonely, but still, that's a lot to unload on someone the very first time you meet them.

Joined: 5/2/2009

Msg: 36 (view)

How do you make yourself be attracted to the unattractive? Posted: 5/26/2009 8:38:09 PM
Watch out shortblonde1985, apparently if you pay any attention to physical appearance, you're a stuck-up shallow female dog :p Because men never pay any attention to a girl's physical appearance. Right? e.e PirateJohn- Sure. How?

Joined: 5/2/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

how do nice guys get dates? Posted: 5/26/2009 8:27:55 PM
From what I've seen, and I don't mean this offensively or personally, this is just my observation: "I'm a nice guy" has become a code basically equating to "I'm not attractive or rich or all that interesting, but you should date me because I'll open the door for you." The way I look at it, a guy being a gentleman is icing on the cake--not enough to build a relationship off of. You need to have more in common with a girl than being willing to open the door for her.

Joined: 5/2/2009

Msg: 31 (view)

How do you make yourself be attracted to the unattractive? Posted: 5/26/2009 8:21:29 PM
You're missing the point entirely :\ My post is not at all about "no one is good enough." I was genuinely asking advice on how to, well, lower my standards yet actually find happiness in the process.

Joined: 5/2/2009

Msg: 718 (view)

If you're single and not dating, what's your reason? Posted: 5/26/2009 8:19:54 PM
I think I tend to avoid dates because of the few I go on, there's usually a lot of awkwardness--I just want to meet the guy to see if our personalities mesh (and if he really looks/is the age he claims to be), but most every time, the guy's been so intent on me that I've been too nervous to enjoy myself--and therefore can't enjoy the guy. Ideally they'd be on the same page as me in 'hang out as friends first, dates later if we get along' but it never seems to work out that way. Sigh. Or they turn out absolutely crazy. That's happened a couple of times. o.-

Joined: 5/2/2009

Msg: 1363 (view)

Do You Men Read Our Whole Profiles? Posted: 5/26/2009 8:08:26 PM
I get the impression that at least half the guys who message me don't even read the first ten words of my profile x.x And when they clearly violate one of my stated preferences (like age) and I point this out to them, no matter how gently, their response is almost always violent and rude. What can a girl do?

Joined: 5/2/2009

Msg: 25 (view)

How do you make yourself be attracted to the unattractive? Posted: 5/26/2009 7:08:33 PM
Well, my profile was changed because I grew weary of getting a dozen messages with no more than 'hi im tim' from 50-year-olds and I was trying to circumvent some of that. Unfortunately, I don't see a method of getting the point across without being assertive--I still get messages from older men and others who fall into my category of 'do not want to date'--i.e. pEoPlE hOo tYpE lIkE ThIs, and if I put something too-nice like "Please don't message me if you are older than 35," then no doubt they'd ignore it entirely (like they mostly do now). But go on, miss the point of my post by calling me shallow instead of offering advice on how to find a date anyway, everyone knows the anonymity of the internet breeds negativity and holier-than-thou personages. And to the two of you who actually did provide advice--thanks. I've never ended up feeling attraction to someone after knowing them a while, but it'd be lovely if that did happen.

Joined: 5/2/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

How do you make yourself be attracted to the unattractive? Posted: 5/26/2009 6:00:33 PM
Who said anything about being fabulous o.- And why is everyone so quick to attack? Like I said, I would like to NOT be this way, I would LIKE to be able to make myself find someone attractive when I don't. But if all you can do is attack me instead of offer a viable solution...

Joined: 5/2/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Stuck on myself like I sweat superglue! Posted: 5/26/2009 5:59:26 PM
An expected response. Actually, I don't think I'm all that attractive. I let people look at my pictures and judge for themselves.

Joined: 5/2/2009

Msg: 182 (view)

What are women really looking for? Posted: 5/26/2009 5:56:34 PM
Well I don't know about older women, but I would say that for me, I would like someone that takes care of himself physically--that is to say, exercises/eats right, someone who is not a total bum, who has a steady job or is at least going to school to better himself, someone within ten years of my age, someone who is intelligent and acts it (i.e. spells out 'you' and knows the difference between 'your' and 'you're'), and who hopefully has at least some of the same interests as me, be that video games or creativity or something else we could bond over. Apparently that's too much to ask for, though...heheh e.e

Joined: 5/2/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

How do you make yourself be attracted to the unattractive? Posted: 5/26/2009 5:44:31 PM
Woo, finally got the forums to let me log in...weird that changing my password would be the ticket, oh well o.- So I have a problem. I'm 23, fairly attractive (or so they tell me), yet I've never had a real boyfriend. The reason? I'm too picky. It's not like I want to be. I've only been on this site a week, and already gotten messages from over a dozen different guys. However, while some of them are actually interesting and seem intelligent, I can't seem to dredge up the desire to go on a date with any of them. The simple truth is that I don't find any of them attractive. Not that they're 'ugly' per se, just that I don't personally find them sexually desirable. At all. Now, of course, the moment I say this, people immediately jump in, calling me a shallow female dog, a stuck-up female dog, a female dog fond of doing what female dogs do....you get the point. But would you wait a second? How is it my fault what I happen to find attractive or not? Trust me, it sucks being dateless this long. I would LOVE if I could find the magic little switch that lets me look at someone I'm totally unattracted to, flip it, and actually find happiness in dating them. I would love it, no sarcasm at all. But if there is such a switch, I sure as heck haven't found it, let alone discovered the method for activating it. And it really sucks, because I really get along with some of these guys personality-wise. It's just the moment they want to do anything physical that I lose all interest. Which isn't to say all the guys on here are unattractive. Some are very cute. However, those few that are, from what I've seen anyway, tend to be 1. a little on the stupid side, or at least with no regard at all for the English language (and yes, that's a huge pet peeve of mine. We're adults now, it's not going to kill you to spell out y-o-u), and 2. are incredibly rude, often flat-out calling me ugly to my face, and that's just not nice. Even if I did think someone was ugly--and I don't put it that way, I just feel that they don't fall into my category of what I find attractive, but I'm sure there are others who would be attracted to them--I certainly wouldn't say as much to their (e-)face! So, anyone else have this problem? And if so, anyone found a way around it? I'm starting to feel like the only one, and boy, is it lonely down here.

Joined: 5/2/2009

Msg: 169 (view)

LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE! Posted: 5/26/2009 5:30:38 PM
I don't know so much about lying, but I'll admit I find it a little creepy that I'm only 23 and yet about 90% of the messages I get are from guys older than 35, when I clearly stated in my profile that I don't want to date people that much older than me. And yeah, most of them assure me they're young for their age, but really 1. that's not the point and it doesn't matter 2. I think they just have an inflated opinion of what 'young for their age' means, since from their pictures, they look exactly as I would expect a 40, 50, 60 year old to look like, heh. I know I'm young yet and haven't experienced that much of life, but why do so many older people (of both genders, according to my male friends on here) pursue people so much younger than themselves? Obviously there are lonely people in the upper decades as well, so why do older people seem to be so loathsome of the idea of dating each other? And also, what has happened to our society that even so many older people lack basic coherency in English? o.-

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