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Thread: when did coffee become a first date?

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 36 (view)

when did coffee become a first date? Posted: 10/26/2009 8:02:22 PM
Coffee bores me. I need something more grand.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 69 (view)

The morning of the one-night stand Posted: 10/26/2009 5:16:50 AM
these are goddamn hilarious and depressing.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

4 Months then Nothing? What Happened? Posted: 10/23/2009 4:13:23 PM
Wow. That just sounds like fail really. Once a week? ugh.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 234 (view)

Suggestions to avoid players/con artists Posted: 10/23/2009 4:05:32 PM
Garf's reply is wrong. I know I don't want to waste time creating some internet dating fantasy, so I like to meet in person first then decide if I like the person.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

People that use their kids as excuses... sad but true Posted: 10/3/2009 12:01:26 AM
Have you ever met that one person that uses their kid as an excuse? I've grown up with plenty of single parents between my own mom and my sisters going through it. It's easy to recognize someone who doesn't put their kids first. Have you ever run into anyone that uses their kid as a floating excuse? I've met at least one girl that uses her kids as an excuse to play disappearing act while she was serial dating/leading on like 5 guys at once. She didn't think anyone would notice she was ditching her kids on her mom's doorstep every time she wanted to go out. Yeah, we notice that stuff, ladies.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 24 (view)

Gold-digger is just a term men invented to Posted: 10/2/2009 11:55:46 PM
I call bull----. I've met girls that get so curious they almost want to check your credit records.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 34 (view)

Why do people actually come on here if they don't ever plan to meet anyone offline? Posted: 9/30/2009 9:46:05 PM
I'm just getting annoyed at the amount of introverts that seem to be attracted to my profile. >_<

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 16 (view)

2 Second Dates Which Led to Nothing...Confused. Posted: 9/30/2009 9:39:22 PM
I thought you meant it was the SECOND DATE and a girl was pullin a silly one. I've had that happen twice now. :( Thought they were worthy of a second date and they go full retarded.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

Beware...kissing can make you fall. Posted: 9/30/2009 5:14:52 AM
If you had slept with him you might not be having this thread.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 82 (view)

First POF date. Epic fail. Posted: 9/29/2009 6:10:30 AM
The fact it sounds like a day-date is what really failed.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Why do people actually come on here if they don't ever plan to meet anyone offline? Posted: 9/28/2009 7:36:34 PM
I'm suggesting they ramp it up. If they're going to try to "put themselves out there" they need to get off the easy button of email and like mean it. Nobody is going to just want to fill your email box, they're going to want you to prove it.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

The selling of one's self Posted: 9/28/2009 7:18:02 PM
The internet gave women the power card unfortunately. It used to be a nice place to actually establish awesome friendships and maybe more. Now it's like the place a chick comes to get their fix of attention and run away.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 182 (view)

Rejection-men have been dealing with this a long time. Posted: 9/28/2009 7:12:34 PM
When in doubt, "Sorry for YOUR loss." ;)

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

disappointing thread Posted: 9/28/2009 7:09:50 PM
to me when I see that I just think, "Great, I'm going to listen to her massaging her own ego 924242 times a day."

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

Why do people actually come on here if they don't ever plan to meet anyone offline? Posted: 9/28/2009 7:07:13 PM
Time and time again, I've seen people who come online, looking for that special someone, but only wanting to keep it to the interwebnet box we call the computer. Getting to know someone online first, then meeting in person, then dating, then whatever else? Yeah, that's just a disaster waiting to happen. This is such a wrong thinking. If you're talking to someone online, you're creating a false fantasy about that person. A false image in your mind of what you want, and morphing that person into it. Then when you meet up your expectations are so broken, its guaranteed not to work. And if it does? Good luck. So here's the question, if you don't plan on meeting people offline, why are you trying to meet people online? That's the inevitable goal, but if you're going to try to put yourself on a pedestal and make yourself some kind of goal, they're either going to let you down or visa versa. Keep your expectations real, establish a first meeting on email/im, but meet as soon as you can. That way you're not wasting each others time. :) Is there any sense in my logic?

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 52 (view)

Cell phones and the first date Posted: 9/28/2009 6:14:59 PM
That being said... if she doesn't have kids or a sick parent, she shouldn't be checking her phone when we're trying to talk. Deal-breaker.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 51 (view)

Cell phones and the first date Posted: 9/28/2009 6:13:59 PM
The problem with this world is we're too busy waiting for the one we WANT to call to the point we miss who is in front of us.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 59 (view)

Texting over Calling or Both?? Posted: 9/23/2009 8:05:02 PM
Nobody has said "It makes it easier to talk to multiple people at once!" yet. Surprising. People are less jerks than I thought.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 86 (view)

How do i walk away? Posted: 9/23/2009 4:07:01 PM
Simple, close the IM box and shift feet over feet away from the computer.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 233 (view)

should I tell His wife he's cheating? Posted: 9/23/2009 7:32:44 AM
I'd say tell her but at the same time I'd say forget it, let your ex suffer trying to keep his attention and fail at it. So I'm neutral on it. I know if I was the one being cheated on, I'd want to know.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 56 (view)

Texting over Calling or Both?? Posted: 9/23/2009 7:30:01 AM
Both. I don't want calls when I'm at work. Plus they're fun and random.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 49 (view)

How do you get over it all? Posted: 9/23/2009 5:45:35 AM
Time. Distractions. Knowing they're doing stupid stuff and worsening their lives while you're doing better and better. :)

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 205 (view)

Approaching women in bars Posted: 9/23/2009 5:42:31 AM
the logic of both sides is pretty broken. The best solution? Make them want to buy YOU a drink.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 180 (view)

What Would Do If Your Date Said To You, I'm Use To Dating Someone Better Looking Than You? Posted: 9/23/2009 5:40:05 AM
Clearly someone saying that is a cruddy person. Mail her back to tardville.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 27 (view)

He/She Still Loves Them & has Pics - Can You Handle It? Posted: 9/23/2009 5:35:31 AM
I don't know, there's a thin line between love and obsessed.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 61 (view)

how long to wait??????? Posted: 9/23/2009 5:33:43 AM
Wow, just wow. I read stuff like this and smirk, knowing why I don't even deal with married girls.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 180 (view)

Stalkers? How many have you gotten from POF? Posted: 9/23/2009 5:30:42 AM
A guy started stalking me because I was seeing his ex apparently.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 107 (view)

The ick factor ... Posted: 9/23/2009 5:27:58 AM
There is a whole lot of shallow people in this thread.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 26 (view)

Girlfriend going on holiday with her male friend? Posted: 9/23/2009 5:11:34 AM
I'd say can her. I know I recently went on a trip with my best friend, he brought 2 chick "friends" with him that both had boyfriends. He was their "friend" but he was always all over them BOTH. When I asked him, he said he wasn't interested in either of them. I call bull. Anyway, Talk about blockedddddd. From what I saw, I'd be mad if I was either of their boyfriends. I ran into another girl later on that knew both of those girls. Apparently that trip never happened/was a huge secret. If your girl going on a trip without you, you aren't one of her priorities and I'd call it a speedbump on the highway of trust. If a chick is doing that, she needs to quit dating because no dude is gonna put up with that unless they're cheating on her in the first place. Welcome to insecurity. Without trust, there's no love, you already ended it in the back of your mind. Now you just need to convince yourself.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

are some people non-datable? Posted: 9/23/2009 4:57:00 AM
There are some people that shouldn't be. These people have extreme trust issues. They go above and beyond to carry that anger from the last relationship to the next.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 25 (view)

Question Posted: 9/22/2009 4:27:01 PM
Ok, at the risk of duplicating the poster above me... It is not a first "date" when you get together the first time. It is a MEET and or an INTERVIEW. You are actually applying for your first DATE (imho). So in actual fact, you are not getting any DATES. I think the whole thing has been done to death but let me put another bullet in it. THIS IS HOW IT SHOULD GO... Exchange a few e-mails and see if you would like to TALK (anyone remember how that goes???). When you talk, make sure you don't get carried away with your "feelings" and just assure yourself this is someone you would like to MEET. Arrange a meeting. Make sure it is in a public place and that it will only go for 15-30 minutes. Feel free to have extra time available if things go well, but only expect to be there for a short period. You can go dutch. If the woman doesn;t like you or see a reason to continue I suggest they pay for their own coffee or whatever as a signal that this is platonic and not going anywhere. Be respectful of each others feelings but be HONEST. Do not speak in half truths or leave openings where you know there shouldn't be any. If you are having fun and it feels effortless.... feel free to continue on to another venue. Simplify these meetings people. Be respectful. Be truthful, you gain nothing by stringing someone along. If everyone did this, I bet we would have less threads about "will she/he call?" or "I thought everything was great" or like this one... I have not had any second dates. Sorry bud... you haven't been on a date yet. Wow. Um heh. I guess you don't get out much. Most guys consider that first meeting the first date. A blind date, but a date regardless. "An interview" is exactly what the first date is. But technically, if you're doing it right the other person is proving themselves to YOU, not visa versa. And talking online is NOT the way to figure out if you like the person or not. Here's an example. You talk to that person for say 2 weeks to a month online (or even 2-12 months for the slowpokes out there. WOW) you start forming an opinion about them based on what you WANT to see and not what is really there. Then you meet up in person and it is totally the wrong idea of what that person is like. I hate to say it, but I've learned over the last 13 years of being online that this is the case that can happen when talking to someone online. You end up hitting it off because you start forming some twisted fantasy in your interpretation of that person, meanwhile in reality, that's not the same. This is why its the best to start talking online for maybe a week, if not a few days, If you're just emailing, you're wrong. Get them on instant chat right away, and upgrade to phone. If you don't, you'll never know how that person is. If someone can't handle that, then they need to get over their trust issues before they try dating. We've all had our heart broken before, we all know what it's like. Don't punish the next person because of the past's mistakes. Then you'll be having more of a problem with YOURSELF than the other people you try to date and blame them for your issues.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

Found love were it was least expected Posted: 9/22/2009 4:14:21 PM
So basically you gave up and started dating whoever was remotely interested...

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 82 (view)

She asked for money at the end of the date! Posted: 9/22/2009 4:11:54 PM
If a chick tried to do that to me, I'd tell her she owes me for services previously rendered and if she needs an Invoice, I'll throw it in her in box.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 81 (view)

She asked for money at the end of the date! Posted: 9/22/2009 4:11:12 PM
Wow, what the heck? Sounds like an escort or a hooker or something. Is there even a difference?

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 54 (view)

Can you handle me? Posted: 9/22/2009 4:50:10 AM
I CAN'T HANDLE THESE TYPE OF QUESTIONS!!!

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Question Posted: 9/22/2009 4:46:11 AM
Oh the joys of every woman on the net turning into a serial dater.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 69 (view)

Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality? Posted: 9/21/2009 9:00:33 PM
mehhh people that are quick to reject are funny. When you spend your life looking for perfection, you're bound to go blind first.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 1467 (view)

Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash? Posted: 9/21/2009 8:59:19 PM
Your ex is your ex. He's not every other guy.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 62 (view)

what is your greatest dating fears? Posted: 9/21/2009 8:55:19 PM
hahah qfychc, some girl i never met tried to do that same thing... starts telling me everything about herself... then starts telling me what she wants... asks me stuff. Then I asked her if she wanted to hang out and go on a date at some point, she like went into a mental melt down and says we're moving too fast. I'm like "Whoa whoa... you can't finish the race before you even register." Short story even shorter, she totally went berserk and vanished. I'm just kinda like, "Whatever that was all about..." That's one of the reasons I'm convinced there's way too many nutjobs hidden on this site.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 73 (view)

She threw my car into park... Posted: 9/21/2009 8:51:22 PM
WOW. If a girl did that to me and ruined my car, she'd be walking home, no doubt.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Question Posted: 9/21/2009 8:46:02 PM
The girls on here have such a wide variety its scary. From my experience, having spoken to quite a few of them after the fact they have too much to choose from and never want to relax. They're like living out their luxury life via dating. I knew a girl that had a new date every day. I knew another girl that said she basically SURVIVED off dating because she was too broke to buy food. Chivalry is dead because it's being abused by bad women. And women are too busy focusing on quantity rather than quality they overlook it. I'm not trying to sound like a he-man woman hater. From what I've seen though in the past year as opposed to years ago on the internet, the internet has empowered women to be like totally like the loser guys they hate. If you judge someone off of 1 single date, you're missing most of what that person is about. If you're judging them based on appearance, good luck at the rest of your life.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

animal antics Posted: 9/21/2009 8:29:29 PM
I'd question your interests at this point. A little bit too much into the animals.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

How to show a Man you Like him without being Clingy Posted: 9/21/2009 8:28:07 PM
Just be the way you want. If someone downs on you for how you feel, they aren't for you. Don't mask your personality, it's a mind-game in itself. They will find out anyway.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 1465 (view)

Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash? Posted: 9/21/2009 8:23:54 PM
I'm noticing more and more that there are a lot of women that apparently don't drive/don't work/live with their parents. And these women are like 25+. I might understand if you're in school but wow. Sure the MBTA/train system in Boston is great but, I don't know how I survived before I got my car. I can't imagine the trapped feeling of not having one. It's fleeting in itself to feel that freedom. I honestly would love to find some chick that doesn't care about money and that is more interested in living in the now and enjoying the moment. I'm not saying don't have hopes and dreams and be a broke loser, but there are some women that are ONLY going to chase the rich doctors with houses, and what not. You can pretend not to be a gold digger, ladies, but we can see it. Your mom might want you to have a perfect life, but she ruined your chance at a decent future by filling your head with her dreams.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 59 (view)

what is your greatest dating fears? Posted: 9/21/2009 7:40:03 PM
I pretty much have no fear. I've been through the worst already. If you live in fear you don't live life, you watch it pass you by.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 79 (view)

I find this site disheartening.... Posted: 9/21/2009 7:37:04 PM
See this is what I find odd. You create a profile, you find something for like a day/week/minute, delete profile, then recreate expecting new results. You can't reinvent yourself, ladies. If you're having a problem finding someone reexamine who you're 'chasing'. One major thing I've noticed on here, there's a lot of women looking for a free ride via 5-7 days of dates. Like seriously, if you're doing that, of course you're not ever going to be happy. It's like lying to yourself trying to live out some screwed up fantasy. I say that because I've run into quite a few girls on here doing that, and it makes me feel dirty even talking to them. I'm not going to go out of MY way to try to look like a great guy to you. You can try to figure out that while I'm just being myself. And I HIGHLY DOUBT most of the women on here actually have a degree as they "advertise" on their profiles.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 73 (view)

I find this site disheartening.... Posted: 9/21/2009 4:26:49 PM
I've come to notice that Plenty of Fish is really just plenty of baggage. Like seriously, it's nuts the amount of insanity you come across on here. Women that haven't gotten over their Ex's... women with ex's that haven't gotten over them ... women with extreme mental issues. I love how when I first read about/heard about this site they said they delete people unfit to date. Wow.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 63 (view)

Serial Dating Posted: 9/12/2009 1:48:09 PM
Serial Dating is pretty stupid. If you spend all your time LOOKING for perfection you're bound to go blind first.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 218 (view)

What lessons have you learned from online dating? Posted: 9/11/2009 7:44:52 PM
At the first sign of insanity, call it a day.

Joined: 5/3/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

A little scared, I think I have contacted a weirdo Posted: 9/11/2009 7:43:53 PM
I seem to be a weirdo-magnet myself. Women that bring dogs on dates... women that have ex's show up on the lawn... women that have melt downs at one date... Wow. Plenty of Fish has turned into PLENTY OF BAGGAGE and a half, ladies.

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