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Thread: Name Changes... How fair is THAT??

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 34 (view)

Name Changes... How fair is THAT?? Posted: 7/6/2011 7:22:31 PM
I am not putting a father's name on the birth certificate. So hopefully I won't have to deal with the sperm donor at all if I want to leave the country or whatever And what does the father think about this? Does he know the child is his? I would be absolutely livid if I was ever in that scenario. Thank goodness I never will be.

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 18 (view)

Child custody Posted: 7/6/2011 12:24:38 PM
After my separation I was awarded interim custody of both of our children. My ex had visitation of one day a week and every other weekend. That was the situation for almost a year until we settled our divorce before trial. In the settlement I agreed to allow my ex to have 50/50 custody and we would switch off weekly. If a couple was together for any length of time while raising the children, they are likely to have similar household guidelines after the separation. So as to your examples I comment as follows: Our children have basically the same bed times and responsibilities at both homes and I would expect that in almost all similar situations. If bedtime was 8PM when together why would one parent decide to change it to 10 or 11 or something crazy just because they're split up? Why would the requirement to complete homework be any different in the two households? Does your parenting style change because you are separated/divorced? I would like to think not. If there is any change to a parenting behavior I would say it would be from an outside source not related to the family break up. The main reason I let my ex have 50% custody was that I feel that both parents should have a very involved role in the healthy upbringing of children. Do you feel that statement is untrue?

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

Child custody Posted: 7/5/2011 4:26:11 PM
When you try to do a 50/50 custody deal the child has to constantly be uprooted, their schedule changed around, and their routine adjusted. Do you have any experience with a shared custody 50/50 arrangement?

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

Child custody Posted: 7/5/2011 4:20:09 PM
Can you answer a few questions for us? 1 - Did you and your wife both work outside of the home? If yes, what were the day care arrangements? (family, paid daycare) 2 - You state you have been the primary caregiver. Has this been the case since your daughter was born? 3 - I assume you no longer live with the ex. Who moved out of the family home, you or her? 4 - Do you have family support in the area, or means to daycare, for when you are at work? These are all things that in my opinion are quite important. Tealwood has been a great source of information on these forums for years. He is extremely knowledgeable about legalities. I would take exception to saying that you shouldn't put up a fight unless you're really really sure though. Evaluate your position, look deep into your heart, really think hard about it, and then make your call. In my case there was nothing I wasn't prepared to give up for my kids, and I feel that helped in custody going my way. My base instruction to my lawyer was simply "I don't care what it costs, I want my children.".

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 167 (view)

ADHD children anyone? Posted: 1/26/2011 8:09:39 AM
adhd is just an excuse for yr kids to be naughty Wow, really? In 2011 this is what you think? Is clinical depression an "excuse to be sad"? Is schizophrenia an "excuse to talk to yourself"? Is anorexia an "excuse to save on grocery bills"? Your post reeks of ignorance. You should educate yourself before spouting off.

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 37 (view)

Found out I'm pregnant.. Posted: 10/8/2010 8:13:36 AM
Okay, let me go through the checklist here. - separated less than a year - still legally married - already had unprotected sex with at least one other partner besides your husband - not sure who the father of the expectant child is - live with your parents - little education - first pregnancy You have a metric shit tonne of stuff on your plate as is OP. You should get off the computer and video games and start focusing all of your energy onto bettering your emotional and financial position in the short 9 or less months you have until your child comes. Don't bother asking how you should broach the topic with a potential suitor as that's the last thing you need right now in my opinion. PS - SpecificTruths, that statement is ridiculously ignorant.

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Working In Canada??? Posted: 7/6/2010 12:52:45 PM
Can you cite a source for your information please aktiva?

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

Life Jackets, Floaties, Swimming Pools and a 4 year old Posted: 7/2/2010 8:22:23 AM
As the poster above me said, there are swimsuits and/or swim shirts that have flotation devices stitched into them. Check out this product and look at all the similar products linked on that page too. http://www.amazon.com/Body-Glove-Swimming-Childrens-Authorized/dp/B001DXBMGO/ref=pd_sbs_sg_6

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 1880 (view)

Mandatory DNA tests at birth? Posted: 4/27/2010 2:56:12 PM
Capitalism gotta love it when you blame the poor for being poor. If it isn't their fault, then whose fault is it? Societies? The governments? Just another example of a lack of personal accountability these days.

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 143 (view)

welfare suggestions for single parents - your ideas. Posted: 4/26/2010 1:36:36 PM
Sweetness - If someone is living in an exclusive area with costs you can't afford, they should move. What are they gaining by staying? Also, you're exaggerating on rental prices according to a Google search.

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 126 (view)

welfare suggestions for single parents - your ideas. Posted: 4/24/2010 11:47:16 AM
In fact I have even been known to pay cash for my kids dental bills the same day I TOOK them to the appointment....just sayin...there was never a reason for anyone to "report" me for services or money from the government my tax return didn't allow.... WTF are you on about? You seem to still be relating to my thread about dental fees, but you don't seem to remember what it said. I had said that I paid the fees, while at the appointment, but took issue with the ex suggesting I put it through her name in order to get it for "free". Really, go back and fact check before you continue spewing garbage.

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

full custody and how? Posted: 4/23/2010 9:30:47 AM
I was hoping to hear from more men in this thread but so ar not a lot of responses. Its just a matter of numbers, there are not very many men out there with sole custody, let alone on the PoF forums. Men start off at a disadvantage when heading into custody hearings, we need to fight with all we have to get to the halfway point in most instances. I've come across a few full custody fathers on this site, but the vast majority of them have full custody due to the mother having severe alcohol or drug problems, or just flat out walking away. The only man I can think of who has pretty much full custody here that doesn't have an addict ex or an ex that just left would be Tealwood.

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 122 (view)

welfare suggestions for single parents - your ideas. Posted: 4/22/2010 3:17:47 PM
people should be screened more thoroughly, as well as being tested each month for drug use Yes times a million.

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 120 (view)

welfare suggestions for single parents - your ideas. Posted: 4/22/2010 11:47:37 AM
lizbeth Love it username.....and so says you the man who let the government pay for a $300 dental bill for your son you could afford?..Do you really feel the need to punish the majority of people just because your Ex wife is screwing over the system? Go back and read my thread about the dental bill. You will see that I paid all of the dental fees myself. My issue was with her wanting to use the free program from the gov't even though she didn't need to. It isn't punishment, its supporting yourself and your family without relying on someone else to do it for you. So much hypocracy...so little time.. Good line, I could swear I've seen it before. The only thing is that you have misspelled it here. As for my suggesstions on getting single parents back into the work place would be to put more money into subsidized childcare...and develop programs much like co-op is in grade 12...It would allow on the job training for single parents to get an education while they are getting work experience. A single parent cannot afford to work at a fast food place being hired as a "fry cook"...it simply dosen't cover the basic needs of a child.. So your solution is to throw more money at the problem? Money just fixes everything eh? How about we try out some personal accountability first? No no, we can't do that, we might violate their human rights......... gimme a break. It is arrogant and extremely presumptious of "some" people to suggest that slinging fries is the only option for single parents without a collage education. Did I say it was the only option? No, I did not. It is an option, that like many other careers, also has room for advancement. Some people look at a place like McDonalds and just write it off saying "I'd never work there".... yet they fail to realize that even in places like McD's there is room for advancement that involves great wages and benefits. Just don't expect it to be given to you. You have to work hard to get ahead, not just sit back and complain when it isn't served up to you on a platter. I love the "suck it up buttercup" mentality that men are so great in expressing..but it would seem that that mentality and comment is reserved only for the women in these forums? Did I single out women anywhere in this thread? Everything that I am saying applies to men as well. Stop trying to hang the sexist hat on these comments in a way to try and refute an argument. It just shows you lack substance in your counterpoints. simply~red looks like all us single mothers of the world have found us somebody who can pay for us to move to sask.... since there are dozens of greasy burger joints there begging for us to come and fling their fries for peanut wages while our sick kids ( my own epileptic daughter a prime example), has multiple seizures or other affects from their illnesses in the care of a stranger who will not provide them the same quality love and care that their own parent will..... First off, I already said in this thread that I do agree with providing some social assistance in situations where it is 100% justified (ie. serious illness or disease). You are just ranting from anger and not even reading all of the comments. Second, please don't move to Sask, you'd be taking even more money from the hard working people of this province. We have enough people on the dole already. i have yet to meet a single person on "the system" who wouldn't love to be working if circumstances were different, but one thing i cant stand is a narrow minded, judgemental, babbling fool who's never known for a day in their life what its like to be on the inside of the fence looking out, instead of frowning down from their imaginary pedistal. Do you really think that anyone on the dole is going to admit that they love the fact they don't have to work to get paid? I highly doubt it, they don't want to get reported and lose their gravy train. So now that you've resorted to name calling, I know that you really have little more of anything intelligent to say. So tell me, what do you define as knowing " what its like to be on the inside of the fence looking out"? I supported a family of 3 off of a job that I was paid less than 10 bucks an hour, does that count? What are your rules for being inside said fence?? just out of curiosity... how many of those greasy burger joints is going to hold our position for us when our kids are in hospital more often than not and we need the time off, or when they cannot attend the daycare because they are sick? How good of an employee do they see you as? I tell you what, I will provide an infinite amount more flexibility to a quality employee who I know is giving their all than I would to someone who is just "punching the clock". you might want to try knowing a few things about a person before trying to bash them...... Ummm, you do realize that you're the one throwing out the name calling and insults right? I happen to be a trained paralegal Good, so get a job. Hell, I bet that kind of job is one where you can even do a lot of work from home. If you can't find a job in that field, get a job in a different field. but i still cannot stand when those who have never been in a positon to require assitance feel they have a lisence or any kind of right to judge those who do require it. you, and username, are the exact type of people i'd love to see down on their luck some day and have something wrong that causes them to require the assistance of the system and to then be treated the exact ignorant, inconsiderate, disrespectful way you condone others for needing the exact same thing! How do you know we haven't been "down and out"? Or maybe our decisions in life have prevented us from being "down and out" whereas yours led you to your place there. you wanna talk about skills? I probably have more, job, life, and transferable skills than your pompous @$$ could ever dream of..... G.D. judgemental jack@$$ Here we go with the name calling again. I wouldn't hire you either, you seem to have some uncontrollable anger issues. Summary Too many people that are on the dole, and in this thread, are just the welfare versions of David Dingwall. They all figure that they are entitled to their entitlements.

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 112 (view)

welfare suggestions for single parents - your ideas. Posted: 4/21/2010 12:17:58 PM
There should be aide for people when they need it in hard times its what Tommy Douglas fought for. He wanted all Canadians to have a quality of life and access to health care. We're not in the 50's or early 60's anymore. In those days the make up of our society was a lot different. Single family households were few and far between and people who were fit to work did just that, they worked. And social assistance (welfare) in all Canadian Provinces is well below the poverty line. So nobody is getting rich staying at home. Yet they are getting enough to still stay at home in lieu of actually having to put the effort in to go out and get a (better) job. There are employers out there that are practically begging for new hires but can't fill the positions. So you start at minimum wage, we all start somewhere. Go the extra mile, work hard, don't complain about menial things, show initiative and just watch as you start progressing in your career and increase your earnings. Remember, even fast food joints have managers and above, and most of them started by slinging fries.

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 111 (view)

welfare suggestions for single parents - your ideas. Posted: 4/21/2010 12:06:46 PM
Now tell me something, of all the people currently on the welfare dole, how many of them would be single parents with children so sick that they require a parent to be around to care for them all the time? I would suggest the answer is very few. As for not being able to work at all without having benefits cut off, that doesn't fit with the programs here in Saskatchewan. The "Family Health Benefits" plan provides for the prescriptions you talk about along with numerous other things to low income families free of charge. I know for a fact that the threshold for qualification is above $15,000 per year and from a co-worker who used to be on it I would say that the threshold is near $30,000 per year as it wasn't until after that did she stop receiving those benefits. You say people are hesitant to work more as they are "punished" by doing so via the loss of access to social programs. I would suggest that you can do a lot for supporting a family with $30k a year even without having to suck at the taxpayer teat. I was making less than that when my daughter was born and never got a nickle from social assistance. We even paid for our own pre-natal courses.... aghast!! So right there is one example of a program in place currently where you can make up to $30k a year and still be eligible for the free prescriptions you speak of. Now tell me why that single parent is avoiding working anymore hours or earning more?

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 109 (view)

welfare suggestions for single parents - your ideas. Posted: 4/21/2010 9:40:21 AM
Too many damn people these days figure they are too good to work in what they deem to be a "menial" job. Everywhere I have lived there have always been jobs available, even in the "bad times". Some people are too busy playing the "whoa is me" card to get off their ass and get out there and get a job of ANY TYPE. So what if you have a certificate in admin, if you can't get a job in admin, go work somewhere else for now. I can't think of anyone who started their career at the top. I spent many a day on the business end of a shovel digging trenches, pounding rods, laying conduits for 10, 12, 16+ hours a day sometimes for what was shit pay at the time. You go out there and do it, don't ** about it, do your best and your efforts will be recognized. The people that spend their time trying to blame their troubles on others and work on ways to avoid these tasks they deem below them are a good portion of those who make up the welfare dole these days I would propose. I'm all for short term interim assistance in emergency situations where absolutely required, other than that, get off your ass and shovel shit for minimum wage and be thankful you can. This country has gotten so godamn soft that people have come to expect the government to look after them. They no longer put anywhere near the effort into taking care of themselves and their families as they once did. Why should they when they know the government will, right? Then whenever discussion comes up to possibly restrict spending on programs like welfare you end up with all the bleeding hearts and societal leeches screaming from the rooftops that we are "putting kids on the street" and "letting people starve" or some shit. Enough is enough people. Stop with the excuses already. Stand on your own two **ing feet already and support yourself and your family.

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 34 (view)

Post Divorce Last Names Posted: 4/13/2010 3:24:15 PM
Just to let you all in on why I first posed the question. My ex has kept using my last name since we separated a year and a half ago, then when the divorce finalized in January I thought she would change it but she didn't. I recently saw some school forms where she was still using my last name so I figured I'd ask her what her plans were. She said she wasn't changing it for similar reasons to what some have said here, money and kids. I told her that as far as I am aware the costs are negligible (as pointed out by other posters as well). She then went on to say she is never changing her last name again. Which prompted me to go "huh?" as she is getting married this summer. Turns out she plans on still using my last name even when she marries this new guy. I thought that was wacky so came to PoF for some colourful input, and once again, you have not failed me.

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

Post Divorce Last Names Posted: 4/8/2010 3:13:11 PM
How many divorced women out there still use there ex husbands last name? Why would you still want to use their name after the divorce is finalized? What would make you change it, if anything? I personally find it odd that a woman would still want to use her ex's last name after a divorce. Hell, tons of women nowadays don't even want to take it in the first place anymore.

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 73 (view)

Do you consider Figure Skating, Gymnastics, Golf or Equestrian Sports? Posted: 4/6/2010 8:39:52 AM
Actual active playtime in a NFL game is 12-15 minutes. The rest of the clock time is the time that winds down before the next snap gets off. That 12-15 minutes includes both O and D so if you average it out then each player would be active for about 6-8 minutes per game.

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 27 (view)

Participation in Sports - Troubles with the Ex Posted: 3/29/2010 5:22:45 PM
Bernta, your situation does sound the same. My daughter has been raving about lacrosse since the season ended last year. She's said over and over again how she can't wait for the season to start and she keeps asking me when it will. Then all of a sudden yesterday she says she doesn't want to play lacrosse this year?!? If that isn't her mom manipulating her then I'd be astonished. Thanks for the words of encouragement bernta, they are appreciated.

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

How do I tell a friend I cant go with her to kill another baby? Posted: 3/29/2010 2:05:31 PM
Here's another option. Does she have a computer? If so then Google up a bunch of abortion pictures; real nasty ones. Leave those up on her computer screen so she gets to look at them next time she sits down. Set a nasty one as her desktop wallpaper too just for kicks. She obviously doesn't care too much about what she is doing so don't worry, it shouldn't bother her in the least.

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

How do I tell a friend I cant go with her to kill another baby? Posted: 3/29/2010 1:27:25 PM
Oh, and YES, tell your other friend that he is dating an irresponsible skank.

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

(-: New User Setting :-) Posted: 3/29/2010 1:25:07 PM
I always chuckle at these threads. There are basically two options for those that post these threads: 1 - The OP is so unbelievably and incredibly stupid that they failed to read the very most basic of information on a persons profile before sending them a message. 2 - The OP is a perv looking for quick nookie who didn't find out about the 4 strikes your out rule until it was too late. So OP, which one are you?

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

How do I tell a friend I cant go with her to kill another baby? Posted: 3/29/2010 1:21:55 PM
Holy ****ing shit balls! 6 abortions!! Tell her the only way you are going is if you get to stitch her vagina closed with indestructible thread after its done. People like this shouldn't be allowed to have sex.

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 69 (view)

Do you consider Figure Skating, Gymnastics, Golf or Equestrian Sports? Posted: 3/29/2010 12:25:16 PM
But try playing a round in 4 hours walking a course and tell me you don't sweat. Whats the temp outside? I am more prone to sweating while golfing when its hot out. Edit - I'm not purposely trying to be combative to some of you. I'm making a generalization here. I even have a hard time calling baseball a sport for most of the 9 players on the field at anytime. lol

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 67 (view)

Do you consider Figure Skating, Gymnastics, Golf or Equestrian Sports? Posted: 3/29/2010 12:04:25 PM
If you don't think a person sweats while curling, than you've never done it. Hasn't every Canadian curled? I know I have, and the physical exertion is akin to that of bowling. If you break a sweat, its highly unlikely that its due to physical exertion.

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Finding an old thread Posted: 3/29/2010 11:55:43 AM
Yay, I found it! It was about sports which is pretty general, but sure enough, I tracked it down. lol Thanks again!!

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 25 (view)

Participation in Sports - Troubles with the Ex Posted: 3/29/2010 11:54:50 AM
So here we are a year later, with the divorce finalized, and the same shit is kicking up again. God damn this woman pisses me off. City wide registration is up in a few weeks where we would sign up the kids for any of the spring/summer sports they want to participate in. These are the sports like baseball, lacrosse, soccer, swim team, etc. I ask the ex this morning which activities work well for her that the kids have expressed interest in. She comes back saying she doesn't want them in anything this spring/summer. I swear to god its just because of how friggin lazy she is. Her and her new fiance moved 30 mins from town and she hates having to come to town for activities. I went so far as to getting a paragraph in the custody order stating that both of us are to do our best to ensure that the kids are able to participate in all extra curricular activities they want to within reason. Do I honestly have to get a lawyer involved just so my son can ****ing play baseball?!?! /endrant

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Finding an old thread Posted: 3/29/2010 11:38:50 AM
Thanks for your help. I do remember the topic, but couldn't recall how I worded the title. I did have another username on here briefly when I first heard of this site, so there is a slight chance I had posted it on that account. Too bad I don't recall any of that account info. lol Cheers!

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 63 (view)

Do you consider Figure Skating, Gymnastics, Golf or Equestrian Sports? Posted: 3/29/2010 10:59:21 AM
If a fit individual sweats while doing it, then its a sport. Therefore golf, curling, bowling, darts, billiards, etc. are games. Gymnastics, skating events, etc. are sports. Just my 2 cents.

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

Finding an old thread Posted: 3/29/2010 10:54:42 AM
I started a thread a long time ago that I don't see when I look at my history or when I search for posts by my username. Is there an amount of time before really old stuff won't come up anymore?

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

Full time Dads when to tell Posted: 3/29/2010 10:48:39 AM
uhm....kind of a no-brainer.

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 27 (view)

is it wrong to hate? Posted: 3/23/2010 3:54:14 PM
I've had a few of these discussions myself since my divorce. I get similar responses as what you've seen in this thread. Things like forgiveness is better and hating just wears you down, not them. The logical side of me agrees with all of those statements, but that has yet to make the hatred subside. 1.5 years later and I probably hate her more now than I did when I first found out what she was up to. When I have to talk to her for things relating to the kids I have to basically cringe and grit my teeth just to get through the conversation. I find myself hoping for her complete failure in life. People talk about forgiveness; my question would be how do you find it? You can't force forgiveness, it has to come from your heart or its just empty. Vindictive? Maybe, but I'm not lying to myself about it.

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 24 (view)

Suing a cheating ex for therapist's fees after breakup ! Posted: 3/23/2010 3:44:25 PM
Move to Canada and enjoy free counseling services and programs. =)

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 34 (view)

Bullying of single parents. Posted: 3/22/2010 1:52:53 PM
Sounds like the issue is that there is a line with you that you are hesitant to cross. That line is the line between respecting others opinions and telling them to mind their own business. To me it comes in the delivery. If someone has a constructive comment that they suggest, I wouldn't take offense. If someone is coming off condescending or trying to talk down to me at all it would last about a second before they were told what to do with their comment. People, please remember you are adults now, if you feel like someone is treating you like a child then speak up. Don't sit there and take it, then complain about it later.

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 44 (view)

Question in regards to the law... Posted: 3/19/2010 10:23:11 AM
Yep, right, just informational purposes, just an overall comment - no casting of blame or aspersions, nope, you didn't do that. Sheesh . . get over yourself. You try to blame a blanket category of people for something that you perceive is a problem, then you complain when you're called to the carpet on that attitude? Seriously? Overall comment as in that it was the basic statement only, and did not go into supplementary details such as "close in age" provisions as I mentioned later in clarification. I see you are in NJ so you may not know that the Liberals are a political party in Canada, not just a group of "liberal" minded people. I wasn't blaming the "category" of liberals, but the political party more so. PS - Clarification =/= Complaining

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 34 (view)

Question in regards to the law... Posted: 3/15/2010 11:00:38 AM
I only posted the overall comment on the age needing to be changed from 16 to 18 and got a few flames for it. So for those flames I will add that the "close in age" provision would still be in place so that an 18yr old doesn't go to prison for having sex with his 17 yr old girlfriend, etc. Also, as I believe Jenn posted, there are special provisions for situations where positions of trust and authority have been abused. I was making a comment on my belief without going into the full detail of my point of view, so there are a few more details for those few who may care.

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

Question in regards to the law... Posted: 3/10/2010 7:29:45 PM
Unfortunately these other posters are correct that the legal age of consent is currently 16. I wish our official opposition would get on board with our governing party and agree that it should have be raised to 18. We got it from 14 to 16 thanks to the Conservatives, now we need those final two years. Godamn Liberals.....

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Parent Alientation Posted: 3/9/2010 8:00:12 AM
I'm still not sure if I follow you OP. Did the court force you to give up seeing your children or did you make the decision yourself? If the court forced you, then either get a better lawyer, or there is something you aren't telling us about what happened. If you decided yourself not to see your children, then I don't care what the reason is, I'd still slap you across the head if I met you.

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 36 (view)

What if.......... Posted: 3/9/2010 7:48:35 AM
If you're curious as to what social changes might occur as a result of this "role reversal", perhaps look into what single fathers do differently than single mothers do. Are they more/less organized? How does having his children 24/7 affect his career? How much more or less outside support does he utilize or need? Does he participate in hobbies or activities that do/don't include the child(ren) or both? What is his mental state three years later? Good idea, but I don't think it is that easy. The statistics clearly show that in existing single parent households, the situations are much better when it is a single father household. Here are some of those statistics (financially related stats). * 79.6% of custodial mothers receive a support award * 29.9% of custodial fathers receive a support award. * 46.9% of non-custodial mothers totally default on support. * 26.9% of non-custodial fathers totally default on support. * 20.0% of non-custodial mothers pay support at some level * 61.0% of non-custodial fathers pay support at some level * 66.2% of single custodial mothers work less than full time. * 10.2% of single custodial fathers work less than full time. * 7.0% of single custodial mothers work more than 44 hours weekly. * 24.5% of single custodial fathers work more that 44 hours weekly. * 46.2% of single custodial mothers receive public assistance. * 20.8% of single custodial fathers receive public assistance. [Technical Analysis Paper No. 42 - U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services - Office of Income Security Policy] I say its not that easy as with the way things are now it is very rare for a father to get sole custody. In the cases where full custody is awarded to the father I would suggest that there were significant issues with the mother already. Therefore the stats, while being accurate, are going to give a bit of a skewed view.

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

What if.......... Posted: 3/8/2010 10:05:44 AM
Thank you Lady Seinu for your honesty. Packagedeal, go back and finish reading the rest of the posts. You apparently only read as far as to where you felt offended and then decided to reply.

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

What if.......... Posted: 3/8/2010 8:05:29 AM
That is the movie that brought up the topic TBH. Again, this is a social experiment discussion. A few of you just can't seem to get that through your heads (or are just joking). I noted before that I see some women using childbirth as a crutch, and I thought we could have a discussion about it. One of my personal examples of childbirth being used as a crutch was when my ex vehemently declared that she is entitled to primary custody as "she gave birth to the children". Why do some women think that because they are the ones giving birth, it gives them more rights than the father? Some previous posters have said that the amount of abortions would increase. As a mother, if you got the father pregnant and he decided to abort your child, would you want a say in that decision? How about maternity testing? Mandatory? See where I'm going with this. Social relevance questions.

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

What if.......... Posted: 3/8/2010 7:47:48 AM
A friend and I were just discussing this See, I'm not the only one who thought about it. THE HUMAN RACE WOULD HAVE DIED OFF A LONG TIME AGO. Seriously if you men had to have give birth without drugs ha ha I'd pay to see that... You men don't have the hips for childbearing... men could never bear the burden or pain of childbirth. You'd die before she was out. men couldn't survive the repopulation of the world - it could only take a woman to do that..... If men were the ones to have babies the world would be a lot less populated..and there would be more abortions because most men couldn't handle being pregnant. As quoted in the above four examples, most responses are talking about the physiological differences between men and women, stating men wouldn't be able to carry and give birth to a child. I'm not trying to look at the "science" of such a question, I am posing a question looking for the social effects of such a change. As for the crutch comment, please remember that there are many many "crutches" in the world. Childbirth is a crutch that some women use when they feel it will help them. That is NOT saying that all women use childbirth as a crutch at all.

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

What if.......... Posted: 3/7/2010 9:44:38 PM
Interesting response tall tales, seems you have some anger issues going on there. No uterus envy here, more along the lines of taking away a crutch from one sex and giving it to the other sex to see what social changes would occur. Thanks for the low brow insight though.

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

What if.......... Posted: 3/7/2010 8:12:07 PM
What if it was men that carried the children to term and gave birth? What would be different? I have so many thoughts, comments and questions relating to that opening question that I am wondering if anyone else has ever though of something like that.

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 152 (view)

What kind of man turns his back on his child? Posted: 3/7/2010 7:58:31 PM
So much hypocrisy, so little time.

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 1431 (view)

Mandatory DNA tests at birth? Posted: 3/5/2010 8:26:26 AM
Here is a little light reading on the subject. http://fathersforlife.org/fatherhood/paternity_1.htm

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

does any one else have this problem? Posted: 3/4/2010 2:06:55 PM
My quote in response to your post in the paternity = kidnapping thread. Wow..... I agree with most of what freetime just said..... twilight zone. I guess that wasn't clear enough. Pretty much I never agree with you and find your comments ludicrous. Like the poster in this thread, I came across one that I actually agreed with. Twilight Zone, ie. place where strange unexplained things happen (like agreeing with you). How the hell is that a come on?

Thatusernameistaken

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Italian Social Club - Hoppers Crossing, Victoria. Posted: 3/4/2010 1:04:46 PM
I also find it amusing that the girl that posted this isn't old enough to attend.

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