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soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 22 (view)

How do I tell him this? Posted: 11/25/2009 6:04:52 PM
OP, I am bi-polar and I think you have waited too long but I can understand why you have. I will tell you that in my experience it has been well received by women that I have dated. I am pretty well balanced and stable. I am not medicated. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I eat well and exercise a lot. Most of the time when we have the talk I get the no your not look. Hopefully he will be accepting of it. Good luck.

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 62 (view)

Pictures of women with a man Posted: 11/25/2009 12:55:59 PM
The problem I have is when I see a profile and there are three women on them. Am I supposed to guess which one you are? no that just means you get to choose which one you want

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

Expectations in long term relationships; real vs unreal Posted: 11/25/2009 11:48:14 AM
OP, Many people here are going to tell you to NEVER go back to an ex. They will have all have very good reasons that I would be hard pressed to argue against. But I have tried the second time around thing a couple of times. The second chance didn't work but I don't regret the attempt. I feel comfortable knowing that we tried the best we could and that makes it easier to move on. To try again though both of you need to be very honest about your past problems. I would suggest an analytical approach. Make a list with three columns. 1. What specifically you loved about being together. 2. what you didn't like but are not deal breakers. 3. What you absolutely can not put up with. Both of you make your own list separate from each other and then swap the lists. If either of you can not come to terms with everything in column three then you really won't be able to move forward. The advantage of a second chance is the knowledge that you learned the first time around provided you both actually learned something. Good luck.

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

I thought she was into me Posted: 11/24/2009 4:59:03 PM
WOW. If you have this much jealousy over someone you HAVE NEVER DATED I would be really scared to see what happens when you are in a relationship. What do you mean she changed her mind? YOU NEVER DATED. There was nothing in her mind to change. You sound really desperate and wanted a relationship so badly that you just imagined it. You let yourself get excited way before any even developed.

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Families...how much time to spend with them Posted: 11/24/2009 1:33:13 PM
Personally, I don't see anything wrong with what I did. That's all that counts.

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 27 (view)

talk to me before you judge me Posted: 11/24/2009 12:49:22 PM
Drummerboy, Almost all of the posts in this thread were acceptably polite. Just because someone doesn't tell you what you want to hear means that they are attacking you. Please also remember that military service is 100% voluntary. I appreciate all of the hard work that our military personal go through but please don't try a guilt trip. When you get back from your next deployment you might want to take some time and assess who you are before you try dating again. You come across as very immature and hostile. Hopefully you will grow up some while on deployment but since this is not your first I doubt it. Almost everything wrong with your life is because of choices that you make NOT things that other people do to you. But that's a good thing because all any of us have to do is make better choices.

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 72 (view)

Is This a Good Reason For a Husband to Leave? Posted: 11/23/2009 9:48:28 PM
I've said a dozen times what she should have done Wow you have spoken and yet the thread continues. Go figure.

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Success, then utter disgusting failure Posted: 11/23/2009 9:28:19 PM
I knew she was pretty serious about Jesus and cannot figure out why she would do this. Huh?

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

What Would You Do?! Posted: 11/23/2009 1:20:23 PM
You are old enough to date without your parents permission right? Were you out past your curfew? It's hard to imagine a grown woman bing that embarrassed but hey as long as it worked out for you.

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 24 (view)

met my 1st psycho ( might belong in the humor section)(Long read) Posted: 11/22/2009 10:31:35 AM
"met my first psycho" She could be writing the same thing. In your own words you come across as a shallow judgemental lush. For each of your first three dates all you can come up with is drinking it seems. As far as your Atheist comment being a joke, well there is a little truth to every joke and if you didn't feel that way that joke wouldn't even occur to you. You are right about one thing. This belongs in the humor section but not for the reason you were trying for.

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 166 (view)

Oh, its to soon to have sex... yah, blah, blah, blaw Posted: 11/21/2009 3:03:31 PM
And finally, sex akes only an hour or so a day AN HOUR? does the 59 minutes of cuddling count?

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

Does class matter in online dating? Posted: 11/20/2009 12:26:20 PM
Everybody has a chance with Paris Hilton! It may not, however, be a worthwhile health risk.

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 23 (view)

Must be doing something wrong Posted: 11/20/2009 12:17:38 PM
OP, There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. You crossed that line in this thread and you are probably doing that on your dates as well. On date two you decided that YOU wanted to make a move but a real man would have known if SHE wanted you to make a move. Pay more attention to what they are telling you, verbally and non verbally, instead of just thinking about what you want.

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 35 (view)

Start off as the new partner, then become their parent Posted: 11/19/2009 8:09:48 PM
OP will be back. He is probably reading this and once his temper tantrum is over he will create a new profile so he can come back and let us all know how much better he is than the rest of us.

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

Start off as the new partner, then become their parent Posted: 11/19/2009 5:06:30 AM
Guys like you would have used a 12 gauge on yourself long time ago if you'd experienced 1/4 of what I did. Got it? Yes anyone that follows the forums gets it. This is just another of your worthless threads to show all of us that you are smarter and stronger than the rest of us. ONLY you have lived a difficult life and are strong enough to survive it. The rest of have lived such easy lives that we could not possibly understand what strength it takes to be you.

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 24 (view)

Keeping the profile open after you've become serious Posted: 11/18/2009 6:21:14 AM
OP. If you felt like he was your soulmate then why did you hide your profile instead of deleting it completely? Hiding your profile is just a hedge. Gee I love him but just in case it doesn't work out I want to be able to meet someone right away. Do you think that your insecurity and hesitation to be fully committed might be the reason that he feels the need to look for other women, just in case? At 46 years old I would think that you would be beyond all of this game playing and have learned how to communicate. NOW is a good time to learn. If you can't be honest with him then he is NOT your soulmate right?

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

A Hypothetical Situation Posted: 11/17/2009 10:42:56 PM
If you guys are so focused on your kids, why are you one here? We are on here looking for a partner that also has a life of their own outside of the relationship. What exactly were you doing with your life before him? Were you sitting there day after day waiting for someone to complete you? You can use this as a good lesson. Don't date men with children. Hell why not find someone unemployed with no friends or hobbies so you can all of their time devoted just to you. Of course this is all just hypothetical?

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 279 (view)

Long vs short hair Posted: 11/17/2009 8:30:43 PM
Amillio you really are a big****.but as they say you are what you eat.

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 273 (view)

Bald men and bald women shouldn't even try.... Posted: 11/17/2009 5:25:33 PM
Amillio I have a bald head that would fit nicely in your mouth. Come on now you know you want it that's why you grow your hair like a girl right?

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

girl i`m seeing-need help in figuring things out Posted: 11/17/2009 1:44:02 PM
If at 31 years old you are too nervous to have sex with her then you have much bigger issues other than not meeting her friends. I bet that you come across as clingy and needy to her so she is cautious in allowing you too far into her life so soon. There is a word that you need to keep chanting to yourself. RELAX. You are creating drama where there doesn't need to be and she will be running away sooner rather than later if you don't chill out.

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

dumped on facebook Posted: 11/16/2009 8:24:37 PM
OP. I know it sucks. My wife left me with a letter on the coffee table. But you know something. It would not have hurt any less had she done it the "right" way. Over is over. I am not saying it's easy and I won't pretend that it is but don't get your head caught up in the "how" and try and accept that it is.

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 20 (view)

I can't take this anymore! Posted: 11/16/2009 4:31:57 PM
OP, I am confused. You don't need him to agree to anything. A legal separation is filed in court to decide financial issues and child support during the period before a divorce agreement is signed. He can show up to court and not agree on anything that's what they have judges for! I am not sure what you spent $8000 on but that should have been enough to at least get through the separation stage regardless of what he wants. Sure contested divorces cost more but if he is completely unreasonable he will lose much more in the end.

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 123 (view)

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop Posted: 11/15/2009 6:30:21 PM
I am happy for him

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 249 (view)

Long vs short hair Posted: 11/15/2009 1:56:32 PM
Amillio this is from your profile <div class="quote">In many ways, I am a paradox in many ways, because I am very spiritual and free-spirited, and I think and feel VERY broadly and with incredible depth, this has been and always will be who I am. There is no shallow thinking, or narrow minded thinking or as I like to call it "cave thinking" with me. To me, shallowness, superficial thinking, narrow minded, lack of depth thinkiing and attitude is the total opposite to true Spiritualty and realizing the infinite. The sky and the Universe is the limit, and there is infinite potential everywhere and infinite worth in everyone. Shallow minded people cannot be spiritual. I also am a deep thinker. You keep mentioning how DEEP and NOT shallow you are. I can't imagine a more shallow belief system than one where strength is determined by hair or lack there of.

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 57 (view)

why do men assume you want to talk sex ? Posted: 11/14/2009 8:17:59 PM
Spunky Bum here is your profile cut and pasted. I am a bbw looking for friends and fun. Not looking for anything serious at all, just nice times with no committment. I am clean and discreet. I have a gsoh. Looking for men who are clean and discreet as well. (I PREFER MEN WHO ARE 50 AND OVER, SORRY). I dont mind the company of more than one person, be it male or female. I do not keep pics on this site, so please dont ask me to send you any. If you want a pic or more info, please contact me. I love to be massaged and feel that a nice sensual massage is a good ice breaker for a first meet. How dare men act like pigs and message you for sex in the first email.

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

What Would You Do? Trying to Make sense of the Ex Factor... Posted: 11/13/2009 8:17:48 PM
OP, Send him exactly what you wrote here. If he still misses you he will love what you wrote here.

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

The Ex Posted: 11/13/2009 12:54:04 PM
None of us can speak as to the quality of his character but time can. Going on a job interview is a good step but can he find a job and work everyday to support his responsibilities? It's great that he is off of drugs. But for how long? This week just so he can convince you he has changed? Does he want his family back because he doesn't want to pay child support or will he be a good father regardless of whether or not the two of you reconcile? Don't get back together now. There isn't any rush. Time will show you whether he has changed or is telling you what you want to hear.

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

Wanting AND fearing intimacy; an internet syndrome? Posted: 11/12/2009 12:43:10 PM
I call it the "Love avoidant" Or "drama avoidant"?

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

i wanna know what you think of this?? Posted: 11/11/2009 9:07:04 AM
Sometimes I come across a thread out here that makes me feel soooooo much better about myself. This is one of them. Thank you for your help.

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 83 (view)

Texting while on a date Posted: 11/10/2009 10:37:08 AM
Spoken like someone whose children are in for a very rude awakening when they grow up and find out that the world doesn't really revolve around them What my son will learn is that the world may not revolve around him but MY world does! When you have a child the order of life changes. It's his life before mine. That's the choice I made. Of course I have my own life but my commitment to him is too important to ignore. I don't expect childless women to understand so I choose not to date them. And for the record my son has never interrupted a date of mine and I have never answered my phone while on a date. Editing to add, soxfan might've just executed the fastest backpedal I've seen yet on the forums. Helen I didn't backpedal at all. I have said that I would answer if he called. He hasn't yet so I haven't answered yet. Where is the backpedal?

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 76 (view)

Texting while on a date Posted: 11/10/2009 9:34:59 AM
having your cell phone on AT ALL is unacceptable even if you have children. Spoken like someone without kids. I only date women with children because then we are on the same page. When kids call you answer or text, whatever it is that they need. Most single parents understand it and don't mind.

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

Rejected me, but is insisting on friendship... Posted: 11/10/2009 9:19:01 AM
OP, My guess would be that you are not all that upset that she contacts you. You probably like it because deep down you are hoping that you will be together again. If you truly don't want contact with her you would have stopped answering the phone/texts/emails etc. When you get to the point when you really don't want to hear from her anymore then it will be easy to ignore her.

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 88 (view)

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop Posted: 11/8/2009 9:10:22 PM
So, what do you think? Let me have it with both barrels. Nah after the way you have responded to the posters in your thread I will pass. You aren't quite mature enough to handle BOTH BARRELS.

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 48 (view)

Should I get divorced? Posted: 11/8/2009 5:29:35 PM
OP, Do yourself, your wife, and your son a huge favor and do everything you can do on your side to fix this before you walk away. Don't let your ego lead you down a road of wanting to be "right". Your marriage may very well be over but from what I have read you really have not tried very hard yet. It's not that abnormal for your young wife to be bored. The daily grind of life can be tedious as hell and she may not have the maturity to deal with it. You can't make this work by yourself of course. If one of you doesn't want to try then its over. The conversation you need to have with her is whether or not she is willing to see a marriage counselor. Both of you owe that to your son. So far it doesn't seem like enough has happened that it can't be undone. Talk to her. Ask her she is willing to try. Don't let your pride make you give up early.

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 23 (view)

Past financial debt torn us apart Posted: 11/8/2009 12:39:17 PM
OP, I think the bigger problem than finances is that you live entirely different lifestyles. He owns a home and has raised two children. You live with him and don't have any children. It doesn't surprise me that you can pay off your car so quickly. He has one child at home which means there are three of you there right? Does that mean you pay for 1/3 of the utilities and 1/3 of the food and mortgage? I would at least hope you pay some kind of rent. You wrote that he knows how you feel about money because you have told him you don't buy anything you don't have cash for. So does that mean he has to live the same way you want to? How long have you been living together before you decided to start questioning how everything is paid for? We are all on the outside here and don't know his real financial situation. It is very possible that he has great credit and pays all of his bills on time and since he makes enough money to cover everything he doesn't see it as a problem. I bet you didn't question anything when he was pulling out that credit card paying for the dates while you have been together.

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

Is being a comedian now a requirement for dating? Posted: 11/2/2009 7:20:53 PM
On the coffee I meet I always tell the woman "you may not be laughing now but wait until you see me naked"

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 18 (view)

Something about it Posted: 11/2/2009 7:17:55 PM
Guys, He is asking girl's! Have you nothing better to do than spend your time in "Ask a Girl"? nope I don't have anything better to do!

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

interested or not? Posted: 11/2/2009 7:10:40 PM
Don't waste your time. If she was interested you would not have to pull a conversation out of her.

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 18 (view)

the right girl but i got no moves Posted: 11/2/2009 10:23:39 AM
So you are afraid that if she turns you down then you will lose a great friend? Well buddy their is really no other option. Once she is serious with a guy you won't be in the picture anyway. So you can step up to the plate or spend the rest of your life being the guy she goes to whenever she has a problem with the MAN in her life.

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

Confused & upset - Why do men do this? Posted: 11/2/2009 5:25:52 AM
AND 7 hours is NOT freaky for a first date if it's going well It may not be "freaky" but it many cases it can really be over load. I can't read this guys mind but after talking for 5 days and then a 7 hour date he was just feeling very overwhelmed. Sure it would be great if he could have discussed it with you and if I were him I would. Next time let a breakfast date end at the end of breakfast. Don't talk so much before a date. I know how it is to feel excited when you are really into someone but it's important to have some self control. Having shorter and more normal dates lets both of you think about each other and build anticipation towards the next time.

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 23 (view)

Can someone explain y so many women on dating sites require events/things to be happy? Posted: 11/1/2009 4:35:59 PM
OP, I think you might be missing one of the best parts of dating. You know I have my single life, play tennis a lot, workout at the gym, play ultimate frisbee. But you know it sometimes becomes kind of routine. When I start dating someone I love having someone to do things with that I really want to do but don't want to do alone. I dated a women for a couple of months early this summer. We had the coffee first meeting. The first date I took her to dinner and to a comedy club. On other dates we went bowling, a redsox game, hiking, fireworks. It wasn't about entertaining her it was more about just having a great time with someone I liked.

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 18 (view)

Why so many bald headed guys, I mean long hair is better right?!!!/ Posted: 11/1/2009 12:12:36 AM
But I like to keep myself always looking fresh and like someone the ladies would just go nuts over So if the ladies go crazy over you can you please explain why you are on here with us baldies???? I have read so many of your arrogant posts that this one certainly does not come as a surprise to me. What I find hilarious about this one is that YOU think YOU know how women feel about bald men. I will tell you that each and every woman that I have been in a relationship with could not keep their hands off of my head. In some of your posts you defend your opinions by writing "I just tell it like it is". Can you please explain how you can tell it how it is on this subject? I mean you are not a woman right? Or are you planning on coming out of the closet?

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Ex coming back? Posted: 10/30/2009 4:32:49 PM
Do you really want to be his rebound girl? He wants his ex but since she isn't interested then he wants to talk to you. The two of you have been apart for just over two years and he was with her most of that time. It really sounds to me like you need to let him learn how to be on his own and get over his last relationship. Even if it's just for a few months. IMO you are setting yourself up to get hurt all over again.

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

are people giving too much attitude on theyre profiles turning people off from sending messages? Posted: 10/27/2009 9:06:28 PM
I won't answer a profile that is written in text. I mean seriously you are trying to put your best foot forward so to speak and yet can't seem to take the time to type you or capitalize I. It's pretty simple stuff don't you think?

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

Dealing with the crazies Posted: 10/26/2009 3:26:18 PM
Yes - I did agree to meet with her, but only so I could put up this facade of being rude and a pig. Not much of a stretch for you huh?

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

How to know if he Likes you, Likes you Posted: 10/26/2009 2:29:30 PM
Gentlemen - What are you trying to convey through this gesture? It means we just spent a date face to face and now I want to check out your ass.

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 18 (view)

he took me for granted...too long...I said its over...will he think? Posted: 10/26/2009 11:51:13 AM
Its hard to explain he showed that he cared many different ways but I just felt not important to him. Don't forget that you are half at fault in a failed relationship. Read the above again. He showed that he cared in many ways BUT you felt unimportant. Maybe your feelings don't come from things that he did or didn't do but from your insecurities? I can't help but wonder what his side of the story would look like. Would his version be that I tried and tried as much as I could but nothing was ever good enough for her? I bet you he does think about you. But I also think he is enjoying his peace and freedom from the drama. A relationship like you describe is exhausting to everyone involved. He may come back at some point but if you expect that he has all the changing to do then you are never going to escape this cycle.

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 142 (view)

And what was your part in it? Posted: 10/23/2009 11:54:03 AM
There was the alien abduction thing where he got a penis extention! But that's another story! Come on now you can't leave a cliff hanger like this out there!

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

From lover to boyfriend Posted: 10/23/2009 8:36:56 AM
I have been searching for other dates on this service, and I feel I can't start another relationship or even go out with anyone here till I put this behind me. Sounds like you have already decided to "put this behind you" so what's the question again?

soxfan64

Joined: 5/4/2009

Msg: 18 (view)

If the Bee Gee's can't figure it out, there's no hope! Posted: 10/23/2009 8:31:09 AM
Hello darkness my old friend I have come to talk to you again Because a vision slowly creeping Left it's seed while I was sleeping A vision, that was planted in my brain still remains within the sounds of silence

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