Femine Ego - How dangerous can it be? chat & forums.

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Thread: Femine Ego - How dangerous can it be?

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Femine Ego - How dangerous can it be? Posted: 8/4/2009 2:56:26 AM
It's because they have nothing else to offer and their self esteem is in the toilet. Failing that they just love themselves.

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Are all women nuts?/Where are all the good ones at? Posted: 8/4/2009 2:48:12 AM
It's never acceptable to cheat but have you ever asked yourself if there's anything you're doing in the relationships that might be causing problems? In a relationship it's never 100% one person's fault. So often people refuse to see their own faults and contributions to the failure of a relationship.

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Too much baggage to start a new relationship ?? Posted: 8/4/2009 2:28:24 AM
What i want to know is why you even let him come back in the first place. If someone treated me like that i wouldn't give them the time of day.

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Relationship ended, it was my fault :*( Posted: 8/4/2009 2:12:56 AM
You are not letting go of it because you're not letting yourself. Yes it's a choice! You're not going to get her back you know that. You can spend more time wasting precious life or let it go. You are punishing yourself. You are causing your own pain. Only one person can change it and that's you. There are things in life you can't control or change and this is one of them. It's just one of life's hard lessons. Learn by it and move on. We all want what we can't have and maybe her not wanting you is the only reason you want her. I was stuck like u. I had to do the counciling thing etc. What helped me was everytime i had a flashback was to just block the thought. I refused to let my mind control me. We all have different "healing" times and strategys. In the end you'll get sick of yourself and angry that this is still controlling you and you will get over it. Best of Luck

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Being Judgmentally Incorrect Get You Nowhere Posted: 8/4/2009 1:56:28 AM
Well it's because their judgement of you may not be the same as your judgement of yourself. Rarely do we see ourselves as we really are to others. Everyone seeks different qualities in prospective partners and obviously the men you have met do not appreciate your qualities. There's no wrong or right, good or bad, its just you are not compatible. You will meet your match in the end. I don't agree with the last comments. I don't think you have a chip on your shoulder. You just know who and what you are and what you want. If a man doesn't want you for who you are then why would you want them anyway? Good Luck

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Scorpio and Taurus Posted: 7/23/2009 12:42:32 AM
My last boyfriend was a Scorpio and i am a Gemini. A truely terrible match apart from in the sack. I will never date a Scorpio again!

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

My 2 cents for all those broken hearts Posted: 7/23/2009 12:39:34 AM
Great advise. Not easy to do but can be done. Fear is the only thing holding people back from trying. I know, i'm doing it now, and actually starting to enjoy being on my own. The lonely and doubtful times are no way near as bad as the crap you endure in a bad relationship.

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

How to get noticed. Posted: 6/25/2009 2:28:07 AM
Hi Nate, first of all congratulations on your weight loss I'm curious did you lose the weight for yourself or just to attract women? Do you suffer from low self worth because of weight issues? Sometimes that can be projected in your personality. The height thing i don't agree with. I'm 183 cm and have had boyfriends WAY shorter than me. The shortest being 5ft 4 Yes we looked ridiculous no doubt but, so what! I believe there is someone for everyone and if you're patient u WILL meet someone. Be very proud of yourself for you achievements, and continue to stick to your goals. If you attend church it is obvious you have faith so don't lose it. Best of Luck

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Exclusivity Posted: 6/13/2009 12:29:53 AM
I would cease dating until she is ready to commit. It's not fair to you this way and you'll end up broken hearted. You could be waiting forever and she could also meet someone and discard you all together.

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

Enjoying being single...finally Posted: 6/7/2009 9:25:53 PM
Good for you! Your story could be mine and i too haven't been happier in years

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

Bored, lonely or restless? Posted: 6/6/2009 12:58:49 AM
I'm never quite sure if i'm bored, restless or lonely. Does boredom make you restless? Does loneliness cause boredom? Does boredom create loneliness? Are they entirely unrelated? Does everyone go through these feelings or is it just me?

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

I want it All! Posted: 6/5/2009 5:00:57 PM
I love all your replys miss_contemplative. U always say exactly what i want to say but say it so much better

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

How do you stop missing your ex because it's so hard... Posted: 6/5/2009 4:53:14 PM
I am going through the same thing too. I tell myself that there are a gazillion people out there just like me and that lets me know i'm not alone with the pain. I remind myself of past broken relationships i've had and know that time heals and u do survive. Mental pictures of him with his new woman i block out immediately. Its about focusing your mind on different things and not allowing the thoughts to disable you. The mind is a powerful thing and you can take control of it. It takes disapline but no one wants to live with sadness and heartbreak. We only have one life to live and we have to grab it and make the best of it.

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

IS HE OVER IT??? Posted: 6/3/2009 7:42:29 PM
In my opinion anyone on the rebound is someone in need of a distraction. Makes it a lot easier to not have to feel the pain of a relationship break up. Trouble is, that doesn't work. Everyone needs time to heal. Moving on too quickly can just be a result of insecurity and not wanting to be alone. Someone to fill the void. I would be very wary of this guy but that's not to say you can't be together. Just take it slow and don't invest too much of your heart until he has been with you long enough for YOU to be sure. Best of luck

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 78 (view)

What the! Posted: 6/2/2009 3:03:51 PM
Very interesting.... For all the input thank you. For all the disbelievers of the thread not much i can say except that the event happened and its up to you what you believe. To all the men who think there's nothing wrong with this, get help. I did not stand back and let this happen. I went and saw the mother. The mother herself is a recovering drug addict. She moved house, apparently got the kid help and never spoke to me again. I have seen the daughter since in the local club. She hates me but oh well that's life.

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 60 (view)

What the! Posted: 6/1/2009 10:27:38 PM
Wishes granted. This is not my daughter! God if it were he wouldn't have his balls right now

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

What the! Posted: 6/1/2009 12:39:07 AM
LMAO at some of the people here who wish to make fools of themselves. Thats what i'm doing right now. At you

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

What the! Posted: 6/1/2009 12:16:22 AM
I don't believe HE put a stop to it.

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

What the! Posted: 5/31/2009 11:40:38 PM
Ok, 35 yr old man dating a woman his own age. The relationship ends. The womans 17 year old daughter contacts the guy and tells him she's in love with him. The guy then starts sleeping with her. His excuse for doing so is " But she came on to me, and was nearly 18." Apparently he ended it because he realised he was doing the wrong thing. I don't believe it for one minute. Your thoughts?

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

Do rebound relationships ever work? Posted: 5/30/2009 11:54:39 PM
Thank you so much for your kind words and wisdom. I agree with everyone and i know what i have to do. I'm not a quitter and refuse to let this bring me down. It's just raw right now. I'll keep filling my head with rational thoughts instead of emotional ones. I'll except that i am human and going to have good days and bad ones. You have given me so much comfort and I am so grateful. X

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Do rebound relationships ever work? Posted: 5/30/2009 8:12:04 PM
Yes you're right miss_contemplative. That's what i meant by my emotions being all over the place. I suppose i'm fixated because in my mind he's blissfully happy with his new woman and i'm bloody miserable.

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

The longest Posted: 5/30/2009 7:23:48 PM
I think everyone is different. Have you been to counciling or thought about going to your doctor?

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

Do rebound relationships ever work? Posted: 5/30/2009 6:57:12 PM
Five weeks ago my then boyfriend tells me it's over. The relationship was very toxic from start to finish (9mths). At first it was exciting and fun like all relationships. I allowed to let myself get caught up in the romance of it all and within weeks he had moved in. Stupid i know! I always sensed there would be problems though. ( Note to self ....don't ignore your gut instinct ). We both fed each others insecurities and rarely saw eye to eye. Most of the time we were at war. He was controlling even to the point of making me feel guilty if i bought the wrong food. I however am not one to stand there and take it. Hense a constant power struggle. It was doomed from the start. He had a history of meeting women and moving in very quickly after. (Found this out after). Any conversation regarding old girlfriends was shortly dismissed by him. All his relationships failed because the woman had something wrong with them. Even if the relationship is bad there are parts that are good and i still loved him, even if it was a sick and twisted way. I was coping quite nicely until i happened to bump in to him with another girl. This was two weeks after we split. It sent me in to a complete spiral and since then i haven't been able to get past it. I made myself feel better by telling myself she was just a friend. Yesterday a friend saw him cuddled up to this girl and confirmed it for me. I am going through a multitude of emotions. All the normal stuff. Mostly i just want to spew. I have self esteem issues. I am going to a councilor and trying to do all the right things to help myself. Unfortunately right now my emotional brain has taken over my logical brain. Have gone off on a bit of a tangent here. What i wanted to know is if you think this new woman is just a rebound thing, will it work? Maybe he just hates me and has moved on? I know it shouldn't matter cause he was a pig and i was unhappy but it does.

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Why? Posted: 5/30/2009 6:10:46 PM
I am going through the same thing. My heart is broken also. You have managed to get yourself into an impossible situation. Your self worth is probably down the toilet. Your scared as you have no contacts where you are. You feel worthless and not good enough. You can't understand why she could be so cruel to you when all you've done is love her??? The thing is, you have to think what i have to think to get through it all. SHE has the problem NOT YOU! You are worthy of so much better and it's your own insecurites that are keeping you there. We have allowed to let these people to break our hearts. God i wish i could take my own advise. Was up all night trying to make sense of my life!

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

Why? Posted: 5/30/2009 5:55:43 PM
Hi, so sorry to hear what you're going through. I think your lady needs to seek some councilling of some sort. It sounds like her way of releasing pent up anger. She is also aware you can't leave and because of that she will keep repeating the same pattern. Best of luck

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Is this normal? not sure what to do... Posted: 5/28/2009 9:31:05 PM
Sounds to me like he could be unsure about his sexuality. Any chance he could be gay?

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Socializing with people of opposite sex when in a relationship Posted: 5/27/2009 11:41:05 PM
If he refuses to allow you to meet his females friends then he has something to hide. What reason does he give you for not wanting you to go?

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

Am I overreacting? Posted: 5/27/2009 11:17:14 PM
Hi, what a freshing thing to know that there are some good men out there who still value tradition even when the marriage is over. Good for you.

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

very confused??? Posted: 5/27/2009 12:15:50 AM
Maybe some women/men are just lonely and give out their numbers with no intention of it going any further than chat.

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 25 (view)

Shallow or know what i want? Posted: 5/26/2009 5:41:22 PM
Bigdaddyjinx. Barbie doll.....i wish! I don't percieve myself to be "all that". I agree with the points you made. I found my ex husband probably the best looking man i was ever with. Which proves being ex that looks can't hold together a relationship. I am not that niave. Saying that 20 yrs on i still think he's the best looking man i was ever with. As we age the looks fade but the initial attraction is still there. So my point is i want my next partner to be good looking (to me) and time won't make a difference. Trading in? a definate no.

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

Shallow or know what i want? Posted: 5/26/2009 4:07:06 PM
You took me all wrong Beth. I have a sick sense of humour and other things are of COURSE important to me. I want the whole package like everyone else. I have in the past gone for only looks and had my heart broken (my own stupid fault). I suppose what i'm saying is i'm hard to please as i want good looks in a man and all the other good qualities. I seem to find either looks or personality but never the two in one person. I support myself and my children and don't NEED a man. In my "old age" i guess i'm just fed up with playing the dating game only to be dissapointed.

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

Shallow or know what i want? Posted: 5/26/2009 3:47:00 PM
I've been told my whole life that looks don't matter and it's what's on the inside that counts. I have SO tried to do this. It just doesn't work for me. If the face don't fit i'm not interested. No matter how nice they are. A few extra pounds, not a problem. Not working right now, not a problem. 16 kids and twelve ex wives, not a problem. UGLY big problem! I don't think for one minute i'm something special either but if i'm not attracted to their looks i can't go there. Guess this makes me one shallow ****!!??? Go for it, i know i'm going to get a battering

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 101 (view)

How many women here prefer short/skinny men? Posted: 5/25/2009 11:23:04 PM
Being 6' 1 short and skinny is definately a no go.

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 22 (view)

What is your number one fantasy? Posted: 5/25/2009 11:17:46 PM
For my house to be clean when i get home from work. Dinner cooked and a hot bath waiting for me. Have money in the bank and not be in debt.

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 32 (view)

Is it realistic? Posted: 5/24/2009 1:13:09 AM
Ha loved your response renoir. Very funny

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 29 (view)

Is it realistic? Posted: 5/24/2009 1:07:02 AM
Like it! Can't do that forever though can you. Sooner or later that's gunna get lonely and familiar too.

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 22 (view)

Is it realistic? Posted: 5/23/2009 10:09:41 PM
so dregz.....what's the answer to that one?

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 20 (view)

Is it realistic? Posted: 5/23/2009 9:32:48 PM
I was think.........what happened if one or the other partner had some kind of illness or accident and COULDN"T have sex anymore. I suppose true love means you stick around because of the person not because of what they can offer u in the sack? Tricky one.

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

Is it realistic? Posted: 5/23/2009 4:45:29 PM
Recently a mate told me that his friend was dumping his current girlfriend for not giving him enough sex. When they first started dating it was four times a day, now maybe twice a week. He thought she had mislead him to begin with to " hook" him. He was genuinely angry she hadn't kept up her end of the bargin. I got really pissed off at this guys lack of respect. Is it really realistic to think that the sex isn't going to dissipate over time? Am i wrong in thinking this? In my point of view when u first meet u bonk like rabbits, over time it slows down. Who can keep up four times a day anyway? Would get boring as hell!

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

How long is long enough? Posted: 5/23/2009 4:25:23 PM
Thanks guys, really appreciate your input.

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

Star signs any you avoid? Posted: 5/23/2009 1:01:21 AM
I'm not a big believer in Star signs but have noticed some definate traits in same star sign men i've been in relationships with. I definately clash with some. Is there any you avoid at all costs? Any bad experiences with certain signs?

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

How long is long enough? Posted: 5/22/2009 11:32:58 PM
Thanks guys, like what you had to say and i agree with everything you're saying. At the moment i don't want to be alone and don't want to be in a relationship. Definately don't want a ff, so i'm gunna chill and let God decide what's best for me. x

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

I'm going to say a prayer Posted: 5/21/2009 11:01:16 PM
I know what u mean. I have been trying to do the no contact thing too. Then for no apparently reason i feel the need to punish myself and text. Knowing full well i'll be ignored. Why i do i have no idea cause all it does is hurts me and puts me back to square one.

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

How long is long enough? Posted: 5/21/2009 10:57:02 PM
Probably right, but there are some out there that love insecure women. The ones that manipulate, control and abuse. Prehaps that's why im meeting the wrong men.

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

how do u know when to let go Posted: 5/21/2009 9:12:46 PM
Lucky guy, can have his cake and eat it too. He won't stop unless one of you makes him. Think you and his older ex should get together and cut his balls off!

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

How long is long enough? Posted: 5/21/2009 8:42:12 PM
Thanks Bill, helps alot x

leggylisa67

Joined: 5/7/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

How long is long enough? Posted: 5/21/2009 8:27:53 PM
I've just come out of a horrible relationship and my self confidence has been shattered. I'm angry and sad and insecure. I don't want to be alone but at the same time don't want to carry my past relationship into a new one. Usually when my relationships end i go straight on to another one. Probably to mask the pain which is a dellusion. So my question is. Is there a certain amount of time i should be single before starting something new? I'm prepared to give it a go even though i'm scared.

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