Do women want to have kids after 33-35ish? chat & forums.

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Thread: Do women want to have kids after 33-35ish?

yellowmorag

Joined: 5/8/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

Do women want to have kids after 33-35ish? Posted: 7/13/2009 5:21:08 AM
Not having (or even considering) children until after the age of 35 is something is the aim for me. Many of my female friends feel the same way.

yellowmorag

Joined: 5/8/2009

Msg: 39 (view)

This is kind of explicit... Posted: 7/7/2009 7:59:57 AM
I think people can be with someone they aren't attracted to, but they may not enjoy it and it's likely to be unsatisfying. However, sex is a delight so perhaps once the young man was there it was too much fun to leave it? I used to think that an intellectual connection with someone passionate and interesting was all one would need, that a physical attraction wasn't necessary (it's the most ephemeral part of a person). However, a few years ago, I did discover that when I ended up in bed with a man I found very incredibly physically unattractive (depsite the fact that he was charming, funny, interesting, clever, observant and unusual) that I found it very difficult, and that I rather wanted the whole thing to be over and couldn't enjoy it. I didn't want him to feel awkward, so focused upon him and his pleasure solely (and, if i'm honest, tried to get things over with asap). It was an odd experience and because I'd dealt with it in such a ludicrous fashion, it made it difficult for me to explain afterwards that I wasn't interested. That was a rather brief affair, during a time when I was under intense pressure from work and had dated anyone for a long time, perhaps if we'd known each other longer I'd have been less hung up on the physical aspects and less confused about what I wanted? I think it sounds like the young man is confused about what he wants - perhaps is trying to avoid any serious involvements or entanglements arising? Have you mutual friends, which would mean your sleeping together was a source of gossip/emabarassment/worry?

yellowmorag

Joined: 5/8/2009

Msg: 613 (view)

boobs Posted: 7/2/2009 1:56:34 AM
I have fairly large breasts, they're heavy (I have to wear two sports bras when I run), and although I don't mind the way the look, I'd prefer they were smaller. Smaller breasts look pert and they won't sag! You'd be suprised how self-conscious large breasts can make you feel. Lots of people have issues with their body, I say give yourself a few more years, say when you're 25. If you still feel the same, then maybe think about implants. It also depends on how quickly you developed - I had fairly small breasts until I was about 19/20 and that seemed to change overnight. Bodies go at different rates, give yourself some time!

yellowmorag

Joined: 5/8/2009

Msg: 160 (view)

Called a golddigger because I expect a man to buy me a drink? Posted: 6/29/2009 12:10:20 PM
I always buy my share of the drinks. I feel acutely uncomfortable if someone else is doing all the buying; on one of the first dates I ever went on the young man was very gracious, he paid for the drinks during the evening... and then was extremely annoyed that I wouldn't go home with him! As a consequence I make it a rule to keep things equal so there's no confusion, so as not to feel beholden but, also, if someone's interesting and charming and you like them, why not buy them a drink? In a relationship I enjoy suprising people and buying things for them, but I'm not sure that would seem appropriate for a total stranger. It sounds like he reacted badly, but, moreover it sounds like you were very nervous and overreacted a bit yourself. He did drive a long way and some people don't drink very much, so it might not have occurred to him. If your response was to suddenly leave so abruptly and your explanation was to do with the drinks I can see how he might react in the wrong way.

yellowmorag

Joined: 5/8/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Open Relationships Posted: 6/29/2009 11:49:12 AM
I started dating someone who lived on the other side of the country; he was used to being in polyamorous relationships, I wasn't. He suggested that since we were so far away from each other it should be an open relationship. I was very unsure (and a little hurt at the suggestion), but decided I could give it try, see if it could work. The person in question was far more interested in trying to make me jealous with tales of the other people they had seduced than developing any kind of true intimacy between us, he was also insanely jealous if I had any involvement with anyone else. I ended up holding back a great deal so as not too end up upset and it was a terribly unsatisfying, confusing affair for everyone. It was all too much nonsense for me so I ended it. My observations of most other couples in open relationships, is that they are often unstable and fraught relationships, mistaking jealousy for passion. I'm sure they can work for some people and that's wonderful for them, and I know people who manage well, but I think they require charactertistics that I don't have. I think if you felt uncomfortable with the idea from the beginning, it is unlikely that it would have improved with time and you would only upset yourself. I'm sure you'll be able to find someone who is interested in monogamy!!

yellowmorag

Joined: 5/8/2009

Msg: 72 (view)

Are men on here really interested in marriage Posted: 6/29/2009 9:28:44 AM
Aww that's unfair. You can't really have come to that conclusion about men or there'd be no point being on here at all! In my experience it is usually men who are ultra keen on settling down and getting married - I've obviously just met lots of people who are ready to settle down. When someone's mentioned it early on, I question whether it's me they're interested in or if they just want to get married, and it feels intimidating. I would assume most people (men and women) would feel the same, if someone jumped in early with that as a end-goal. It puts a great deal of pressure on the start of a relationship if someone tells you they're looking for marriage, it certainly made me feel trapped and want to fleeeeeee! Why do you want to get married? Is it for 'the day'? In which case throw a huge party, it's just the same. What is the point of marriage in the modern day? As a woman you no longer 'need' to get married. Is it because of religious expectations? The notion of marriage as a symbol of unity and devotion is very sweet, does that make relationships without it of lesser value?

yellowmorag

Joined: 5/8/2009

Msg: 1218 (view)

Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs? Posted: 6/10/2009 11:59:31 AM
You don't need to forgive the abuser. You need to spend time getting over it, since there are still issues, and learn to feel comfortable with sex in general. With a new partner you should always explain what happened, people will understand. Take things slowly, there's so many pleasures to enjoy, give it a try with someone patient. It's wonderful giving someone else pleasure. And if you, after being gentle and trying it in a stable relationship, then I'm hopefully partner will understand. There is, as it's already been said, lots of different things someone can do.

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