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pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 87 (view)

menapause Posted: 5/10/2009 10:22:34 AM
When are you women gonna figure out that Men are interested in sex....and its OK? har har! I understand, some men don't have much style about it.... and that can be a turn off. But we are Men. We are basically just billy goats on two legs without all the hair and horns... (most of us..ha!) You wouldn't want us any other way! In the end.... its really all about style..isn't it? Its the only thing that actually separates any of us. I see a lot of diatribes on here which attempt to set the authors up on some kind of sexual, values and moral pedastal. But, the truth is.... we were all built the same way by the same creator, and if we are honest..... we understand. So, all thats left is our style. Its Ok, to desire a certain kind of "style" in your suitor. I do too. But, whats with all the condemnation of Men cause they think Sex?? We should be careful with any general condemnations..... Men or women. thats what I think. Now: As to Menopause being just another excuse for bad behavior. If you have bad behavior towards your loved one...(or anybody) and blame it on something like Menopause, I think its a bunch of hooey. Note: I'm not suggesting that some women don't suffer from menopause. Heck, I don't know. I would be an idiot to suggest otherwise. However, I'm stickin to my guns in that none of us are ever 'excused' from good behavior because we might be suffering from something. Life sucks, but ya gotta be good. Har! Matey. Its called "attitude"... and it is a choice.

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 48 (view)

do you remember being loved? Posted: 5/10/2009 9:54:13 AM
Yes! It was not always this way. I have gone through journies in my past that were so toxic and devastating that NO memories of ever being loved were available anymore. I Never wnt to go back to that place...and, I don't have to. A lot of work and a spiritual faith have restored me... thank God. Now... it is relatively easy to remember the good. It is a gift. I do not take it lightly. To me this restorative wisdom is not the exclusive property of the "mystic" types. Certainly, they can possess it, but it is common wisdom available to us all. Wisdom is wisdom, no matter what the vehicle you may happen to recieve it from. Wisdom is the same. From all sources. Personally, I prefer a more nuts and bolts pragmatic approach to this. A lot of mystical flowery rhetoric tends to bog me down, and kind of turn me off. It doesn't have to be that complicated. There are two kinds of Memories: One has the power to still affect your behaviors in a debilitating, self defeating , incapacitating and negative manner. these memories have power over us, and have to be transformed if we have any hope of progress. The other type memory is just that: A simple memory. It is just information and it has no Power to affect our thinking and behaviors. This is what healthy memory is supposed to be. The transforming of these toxic memories into simple harmless memories is what I call "true Alchemy". Remember the old alchemist's who supposedly transformed lead into gold. You can't do it in the physical world, but you can do it in the emotional world of memory! I don't believe we are supposed to forget anything. that is called, Denial. But, we Must transform those harmful memories which still have power over us into harmless information. That is how we move on. That is how we become available for Love again. that is how we can remember....... The good! Ahhhhh, yes..... I remember being loved. In fact, I'm loved today, even as I write. Even if I have not managed to find that last partner.

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 65 (view)

menapause Posted: 5/8/2009 12:21:30 AM
Personally, I don't care whether a woman is going through menopause... or whatever it might be. (Men too!!) there is NO excuse for bad behaviour. None! End of story. I've finally figured it out. None of us are ever excused from being kind, courteous and mannered. I don't buy into the old phoney excuses anymore. Periods, chemical imbalance, menopause, drunk, sore butt, bellyache, bad day at work, ...or one of my favorite BS excuses.... 'it was my temper'. I will empathize with a suffering you are going through all day long.... but I will not allow you to treat me like crap because of it. No more. Can you tell I've allready done thing for the first 45 yrs of my life. har! As for having negative images about this from early horror stories, or youthful misconceptions: Get educated. As for the 'sexual' part of it all. We can figure that out as we go through the process together.

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

30 is the new 14. Posted: 5/8/2009 12:01:53 AM
No... this is not just the same old generational thing that happens over and over again. To a small degree, it may be true. But to suggest that whats become common place in this 'progressive' culture is analogous to the 1940s.... or the 1920s..... or any other age doesn't fly anymore. I'm pretty sure kids bringing guns to school and having their own little masecre is not just a repeat of earlier generations. What we are seeing is the result of 75 years of an emphisis on personality over character. Our new "annointed one" president is the most prominent shining example of this. Ha... and I thought Clinton was bad! har. He was just a warm-up. Truly, we have succeeded in producing a generation of narcissists. Everything is instant. American Idol is the showcase of Instant stardom. No dues to pay.... no work to be done.... just procur a spot in front of the camera and become an overnight Karaoke star! Not only is the behaviors becoming intolerable... but we are in danger of losing the good kings english! It is being so dumbed down that you can't even understand many of the various enclaves of young hippnes anymore. Lets not even mention.... texting! We're going back to hyrogliphics! (sp) In earlier generations they have always had their little 'hip' words and sayings..... thats not unusual.... but to compare that with whats going on today is ridiculous. things are really going down the tubes. I think there is a book...or movie... about some guys who were frozen... and when they awoke in the future.... they were considered the smartest people on earth, cause they could still speak fluent english! har har! Everything had become so dumbed down that everyone was completely illiterate and dysfunctional.

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

How do you know you're really ready to get involved again ? Posted: 5/7/2009 11:42:10 PM
seems to me: If you have to ask a question like this. You arn't ready. A general rule would be. If you start thinking you are ready. You arn't. We always think we are farther along than we actually are. AND: it isn't just about time. After a couple of failures.... and whatever else we call divorce... it represents a failure., You probably need some kind of personal proactive work to discover what part you contributed to the failures. Take my word for it, no matter how evil or maniacal our ex's might have been..... we still contributed something to the failures. If we don't discover what that was.... we will probably just do the same things again. Of course, if all you want to do is have fun and try and get your short term needs met... all of this may make no difference. It only matters if you are looking to find a true life partner. At any rate.... you should provide your dates with all the information you divulged in your post. Let them decide. Good luck.

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

4 dates and they all used someone elses pictures Posted: 5/7/2009 10:38:21 PM
I don't know? My experience with internet introductions and all that stuff has been mostly positive. Positive in that, I have not encountered all that many people grossly misrepresenting themselves in intentionally dishonest ways. I still havn't found "the One".... but I am not blaming that on the internet, or all the (so I hear) horrible liars and cheaters out there. Quite frankly, I find it allmost incomprehensible to have had four dates in a row with people who used false pictures??!! If that really happened, you are either one of the unluckiest people on the internet... or theres just something wrong. And, as has been suggested allready... I would turn the 'looking glass' around. In answer: No,, I don't believe it is widespread. I am an optomist and have a burning belief in the basic goodness of mankind. My personal experience seems to affirm my beliefs. By far, most people on here are basically honest and well intentioned. I'm convinced. The worst thing I seem to see is quite a lot who just havn't become awares of their personal dysfunctions .... yet. I think they still mean well, they are just ignorant. Ignorant is not a derogatory word... just a plain adjective.

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 228 (view)

Why are so many attractive people divorced? Posted: 5/5/2009 7:15:57 AM
I didn't read every page: I get what the OP was wondering about. Her use of the word 'attractive' dosn't influence my understanding. She's just wondering why so damn many seemingly great appearing people have failed at their marriages. Its really a simple question. Not necessarily a simple answer though. Well... in some ways it is. Simple answer: They did not know how to be Married. (That includes the skills needed to pick a functional partner). The fault is NOT with the institution of Marriage. Just about everyone of us on here can include ourselves in this catagory. Uhhhhh... the divorced ones anyway. Lets face it... thats 98 percent of us! Good looks, good intentions, charismatic personalities and good jobs alone are not enough. It takes "two" basically functional people to successfully entertain a Marriage. You have to have the skills! Its not necessarily our faults. The modern so-called progressive culture we have come to live in taught us absolutely Nothing about (relationships). [the 4th R] In fact, about all of modern pop culture is anti-thetical to a successful marriage. And pop-culture has come to be our god. But: All of us are 100 percent responsible to get those skills now. We can't blame society and the culture...or our parents... or our school... or anything, anymore. We are supposed to be grown up. My last wife would qualify as one of the worst partners ever to walk down the plank! She was a violent grossly dysfunctional long time alcoholic. I had two lovely children with her ( somehow her uterus still worked...ha!) It was the most horrific experience I have ever had! However, in the end.... I was just as dysfunctional as her! Yeah, I might have been the good guy, but I was pathologically screwed up. And, I can't get out of this one: "I picked her". I would class myself as one of those 'attractive', intelligent, educated, well intentioned wonderful people who failed miserably at a marriage and family. I failed because I just didn't know how to do it. Simple.

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 47 (view)

matches and chemestry Posted: 5/3/2009 9:59:38 PM
Ok... location. that is probably it. Because when I get the latest matches... they are always all over the place! From 18 years old to 80! All types! But, now that I think of it... I think they are usually from Idaho. thats about it. What I don't like about the tiny thumnail pics on the match page is I often cannot tell the age by the pic! I am not interested in opening a 24 yr old profile... but I do quite often because they looked older in the tiny unclear pics! Makes me feel kinda dumb. (what must they think when they look to see who has viewed their profiles??? an old pervert? ha ha). But, the matches, as generic as they are, are often helpful.

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

When do you know you want it exclusive? Posted: 5/3/2009 9:50:47 PM
If we are in touch with ourselves.... we would not have to ask such a question. We would not have to even ponder it. Its not about any kinds of particular conditions to have happened or exist.... to me its just when you start feeling that way. Duh??? If you feel like you want the relationship to be exclusive... then....(duh) ... you want it to be exclusive. It doesn't matter whats going on in the other person. Its about you. Of course, we hope the other person is feeling the same way when we do, but we have NO power over that. And it IS absolutely Our responsibility to let the other person know what we are feeling or what we would like. Do Not expect them to just 'know' it! I see one poster here who is a little confused about that. If the other person wants exclusivity and doesn't say anything about it.... thats their problem... not mine. I've only felt this once in the last decade. It was divine, and I want to feel it again!

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 144 (view)

Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women! Posted: 5/3/2009 9:37:32 PM
My God.... its two years now since I first posted in this thread! I think I am approaching the "born again" catagory! Or... maybe I'm allready there!! Or... Maybe I've allready been there a while!!???? How does one determine this anyway! har har. I'm afraid the born again virgin status might not be for us "mature" folks. Hmmmm? perhaps we are just becoming 'old codgers and old maids'??????? terrible thought, huh! messages this short may not be posted..... may not be posted...may not be.... may not.... may... may ...mayday...mayday... mayday! Messages this short may not be posted. I am still being persecuted for years old transgressions on the political forums. har har!

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 62 (view)

Living solo Posted: 5/3/2009 9:39:15 AM
If you are truly self-actualized and authentic and have learned how to take care of yourself..... you are no longer afraid of "losing yourself" in a relationship. the problem in this is ALWAYS with you! Not them! As long as we are still blaming them for anything at all.... or blaming Marriage... or blaming the living conditions.... or blaming anything outside of ourselves... we havn't made it yet, and should probably remain alone! You can attempt to create your perfect relationship by manipulating the outside conditions. It will never work. You want a perfect relationship...(whats that, anyway??? ha!) Make yourself good, first. I'm not trying to be preachy here. I can't help it. har. For some reason, I made the trip into Hell, and then had the wonderful good fortune to get into real 'co-dependent' recovery! wow! What a concept. I'm no longer confused and ignorant about this stuff. Turn that microscope around and point in the right direction. At ourselves! In the spiritual world, there is no bargaining. If you don't accept the requirements completely... you don't get the rewards. Wasn't there a time when "marriage" was spiritual??? What happened? I think we've lost our way in this modern so called Progressive culture.

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 52 (view)

The type of person you are looking for Posted: 5/3/2009 9:17:48 AM
No doubt, the basic type I am attracted to has really not changed that much. But, for me, it has been more of a process of elimination. Much like I have done in my own devlopement and growth process. Eliminated the impaired and dysfunctional parts of me. In my foolish and ignorant youth...(which for me lasted well into my forties!) I had no capacity to recognize and identify addiction and dysfunction. If I felt 'Love" for them... then everything was going to be ok....wansn't it??? har. Today I understand you can fall in Love with people who are not good for you! So, the answer is: I'm still attracted to the same 'type'. However, Just because I am attracted to them.... doesn't mean they are the one for me...necessarily...anymore! there is ONE thing that has changed though. I prefer 'conservative' women these days. I guess that has changed. Hmmmmmm?

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 34 (view)

Living solo Posted: 4/28/2009 11:53:57 PM
My dear Pof friends: I got news for ya. I know its like a foriegn language to you... but there is a term that most of us never had the occasion to use....let along experience. Its called... (a functional Relationship). Its where two people live their lives together in a totally committed fashion, without Losing anything they personally value! In a truly functional relationship, this can happen easily even when you live together in the same house. If you think you are going to somehow 'create' that great relationship that you always wanted by simply avoiding the 'living together' part..... good luck! har har. Peter, Peter pumpkin eater was a nursury rhyme. Doesn't really work in real life. I'm not totally against any personal choices about partners particular habits etc... but these must be made from the 'inside out... not from the outside in'. I'm looking for that great functional partnership first. We can decide about the little idiosynchroties that might need some attention soon enough.

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 56 (view)

Do men and women really enjoy wet sloppy kisses? Posted: 4/28/2009 11:31:57 PM
I remember the "french" kisses from high school days. We were learning how to kiss in general. French kissing was considered the ultimate kind of kissing back then, early sixties. And it was something akin to sex. (high school mentality). Today high school kids apparantly engage in Oral sex and don't consider it sex!?? How times have changed. when I was 16 or 17 and had never had sex... I thought the deep crude french kissing was really something. Trying to stick your tounge as far down the girl's throat as possible, and her doing the same to you. That was our "oral" sex. ha. But as I matured and refined my practices, I didn't really care for the deep tounge lunges anymore...still don't. something a little too invasive about it. A very gentle little tounge work is nice. Not deep and invasive, but soft and extremely gentle... and more like an extension of your fingers. If I encounter a woman who at a mature age still likes to plunge her tounge down to my tonsils.... it turns me off, quite frankly. Whoa there! But then, I don't like the bloody scratches on my back either! Har!

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

Are his/her music tastes important to you? Posted: 4/23/2009 7:59:32 PM
It certainly could be a dealbreaker. But she would have to be quite radical. I'm an open minded musician. I love about all kinds of music. Have my favorites. Mostly I think hip-hop and rap are a big fraud perpetrated on white america. Not too much danger of finding a "rap" freak in our age group anyway. ha! I probably couldn't take listening to that mind numbing repeticious 'new age' music playing all day! I'd have to throw on some good ol AC/DC, or maybe some loud shit kickin music! Especially love rockin' guitar blues. Stevie Ray was the king! But I love ethnic music....classical (as long as its not the terrible disonent modern stuff)... tex mex....cajun..... Am. Indian drum groups....... bluegrass..... jazz guitar.... and a lot of the cutting edge "real rock" music too. (not the pop schmop crap). Nah.... she'd have to be pretty goofy to run me off! ha.

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 64 (view)

Discouraged Posted: 4/22/2009 8:02:57 PM
I don't understand why people who get discouraged or disheartened, or whatever... take down their profiles? I mean... what does it hurt just to leave em sitting there...simmering on the back burner? Never know? And, for those that ask (IE: the originator of this thread), listen to the good advice about reworking your profile text.. and pics. Life rewards action. Waiting for Mr. Right: An old woman skeleton sits on a park bench in a tattered rotting dress. Wouldn't it be scarey if we could peer into the future and see which of us will be still unmatched 25 yrs from now???!!! EEgad, I don't want to look. ha ha! What would we do without Hope. Don't ever give up!

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 37 (view)

Favorite romantic movie scene Posted: 4/21/2009 7:45:02 PM
Yes.... I've seen most of the mentioned famous Love scenes and Like most of them very much too. My mind tends to think in what it has seen for the latest viewing that impressed it. That would be with richard Gere and Diane Lane in "nights in rodantha". Can't actually remember any specific scenes, but the whole movie is basically One huge scene leading up to their eventual coming together. Very fantastic. It is a simple setting and the characters are (Actually Mature!), and basically believable. Not too romanticized. Just very intense. If you havn't seen it, I recommend it. Especially for us matures. Too many of the romantic/comedy movies are populated with flawless skinned youthful people! Its very validating and hopeful to see Love burst from Mature people. In the end...however, I'm not so sure I might just like the Ol John Wayne love scenes where he either picks up the woman and carries her off, or shuts her up with a huge powerful kiss that stuns her into silence!! ha ha. (The quiet man)

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 124 (view)

So Round So Firm & So Fully Packed! So whats the Problem! Posted: 4/21/2009 9:29:16 AM
Its true: From about 50 onwards.... our bodies just begin to "do things" that they never did earlier. Its called aging. However, there is still Much we can do. We can't stop the process of aging, but we can certainly exert some control as to how fast and furious it happens. I see a whole lot of rationalizing on here (and everywhere else) by people who have chosen not to exercise any control. Some can get quite hostile in their defense of their "round and full packed " bodies. Hey, if you are truly comfortable with your overly out of shape and soft body, thats fine and wonderful.... but when I see these kinds of people being condescending and even attacking the ones who have chosen to take more pro-active choices to stay as fit as they can, It sounds to me like the (fully packed) are actually not so comfortable in their own skin. If you are comfortable in your own skin, you will have no need to attack anyone. You will have no need to criticize and rationalize. You will just be 'happily fat'. thats good. At my age, I certainly don't expect to demand, or even attract, a skinny miss america. ha! Actually, its not the weight, but how it hangs. A voluptuous buff woman is very attractive. Its about tone, isn't it. I think its perfectly ok to seek a partner that is at least at the same level of fitness as we are. It seems a lot of people tend to 'over rate' themselves in this catagory. ha! Maybe thats the problem? As May said: Stand in front of a big mirror naked... and actually open your eyes. The truth shall be revealed!

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

Are You Just As Foolish As Ever? Posted: 4/9/2009 8:07:00 PM
Its amazing...and quite facinating how quickly a thread like this turns very personal and gets off track with a pre-occupation with persoanl advice, should-haves, and even little attacks. Hmmmmmmmm. I see this is a little sore spot with many. as for me: Hell no! I'm not as foolish as I used to be! God help me if I was. and, I wouldn't deserve any pity either! Heres a secret: Age alone will not guarantee wisdom. for most of us (I adamately include myself here) we need lots of pro-active help. Go out and find it. Accept it. and do it. Dumbness is a curable disease! But it might not cure itself. Just getting into one relationship after another will not educate us. We just tend to do the same thing over and over and keep expecting that we will surely have a different outcome. where I come from, they call that insanity. From what I can gather here: there seems to be way too much focus on the behaviors of others and then a lot of blaming as a result ( I'm talking about the personals and the forums) To heck with other people's behaviors. Learn to recognize serious abberant behaviors in prospective partners. Learn to set your own limits and boundaries. Learn to define what you want. Learn to have the good sense and the courage to simply ask for it. And then, dive in. You are protected. good luck. Stop "loving dumb".

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 48 (view)

Old and new movies: How do the movies affect your ideas about love and romance? Posted: 4/9/2009 7:51:35 PM
So far I don't think any of you have a grasp at just how much the romantic movie genru' has affected our thinking about love, romance and marriage. Most of us have seen so damn many of these things by now, we fancy ourselves some kind of critic and above it all. Har! don't fool yourselves. These films for the last 70 years now have allready done their steady insidious work on us. Its in there. for better or worse. Sure, our intellect tells us... its not really real. It just doesn't hardly ever (if at all) happen that way. Our intellect thinks its pretty darn smart. In truth, it isn't. All those romantic movies have long since migrated out of our pure intellect into our more basic emotional and heart functions. Its too late. It just might be why we have so much discontent, dis-satisfaction and divorce in the modern world? Our real life romances and marriages are never going to live up to the idealized things we see in movies. Have you noticed that allmost ALL of the romance stories end..... right at the beginning??? Anyway, with that being said: I'm still a sap when it comes to a good romance movie. Two recent ones I definately recommend.....( Nites in rodantha) with richard gere and diane lane...... absolutely excelent, even if it doesn't have the perfect ending. the other one: (The curious case of Benjimin Button) with brad pit and Kate blanchett. wow! Of course, I confess to having long believed Kate Blanchett is the most beautiful and talented woman alive.

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 193 (view)

People, of our age, alone...what do our pets say about us? Posted: 4/9/2009 7:30:43 PM
I think Pets can say a whole lot. The type of pets you have. How many? Perhaps the way that you interact with them might say the most. Personally, I find it somewhat surprising at the number of single matures who have collected a lot of pets. My impression is that women are more inclined to do this than men. Women who have little dogs in their main profile pics are allready on the 'endangered' list for me. ha! I have probably seen enough allready. Women who have personal zoos are also on my personal red flag list. Probably not interested in taking that on. women who include in their profile things like: ( If ya don't like my animals... then git out) will probably not get any response from me. I'm grateful they have furnished me with such useful information. ha ha! Hey, if ya like animals, and want that kind of surrogate family.... its a free country. But realize..... its something that more than likely, in reality.... decreases your allready small odds at finding a partner. Just my simple opinion. I know not everyone will agree with it. thats just fine. But, the ridiculous Pet supply industry in this culture Loves ya. I'm gittin' off track: I don't necessarily agree that people who have this apparantly deep love for pets will automatically be able to transfer that to partners. Makes me more nervous than optomistic. You know, the surrogate thing. This is an area that I am a little suspect. Maybe I'm all wrong, but I don't think so. People who have pets that I don't like. Well, I'm not goin' there! ha! In my book, pets should be complimentary to our primary people relationships. If it gets outta whack. somethin's outta whack. I think a lot of us got all confused growing up with all those walt disney talking animal movies and cartoons! har! We are the generation that grew up and came of age with this stuff.

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 30 (view)

Romance Through the Ages Posted: 4/7/2009 4:22:04 PM
I confess to never having actually read an austin book. I've seen about every production that has ever been made of her work though. I'm certainly not disagreeing with your in depth analyzations of her deeper intentions. However, No one can convince me that this is not "romantic". For My information: Were there earlier writers who dabbled in romance. (yes, I know about shakespear... but then you really have the over-complicated analyzing that has been worked to death for 500 years). Either the screenwriters and producer's just threw in the pre-occupation with 'romantic Love'.... (when it wasn't in Austin's work at all?)... or, she was indeed... a romantic. sire seems to me.

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

Romance Through the Ages Posted: 4/7/2009 3:45:54 PM
I think I heard someone say they would like to be an "artist's Muse"?? It just so happens I have been wanting (needing) just that for quite some time! Magnificent artist here, who has kind of lost his visions. Yes..... a Muse. I think Jane austin pretty much invented the whole "romance" thing. that would go back about 150 years or so. Before that... it was probably just some kind of an abstract concept.... practiced (if at all) by the very upper class. And then, Our present concepts are allmost entirely as a result of writers and film makers taking a lot of "artistic license"! I wouldn't mind being able to take a "trip" back to the early seventies...(and know what I know now, of course).... that could sure be fun! I've been "maddly" in love just once in my life. I've been in Love several times. I've experienced everything in between and on both sides. I've turned down or ignored Love offered from others. I've had my Love turned down or ignored by others. I've felt betrayal. I've felt terrible loss. I've felt terrible unrequited longing. I think, today.... I would really like to have that nice functional relationship! har.

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 66 (view)

Singles Decorating Posted: 4/7/2009 3:27:23 PM
I'm with Lil Brooker completely! I have aBfa in art too, am a practicing artist.... Most homes, Man or Woman are either ridiculously gaudy or annally 'balanced and color coridinated. Matching pictures on the wall...same exact size...placed just so so... yuK! Can we say....."Original" here? ha! Most people just really arn't original at all. And..... everyone Knows MEN can't crap in a perfumed, pink and purple frilly girlie bathroom!!!!! We just can't do it! sorry! har! Give me an outhouse! For the OP: I like you. Your'e on the right track. Yes, go ahead and keep your home a little on the 'nuetral' side. Keep a little 'manly' sense to it. As long as your'e not compromising to the point its unpleasant to you. good for you. That sends a good strong confident message..."I'm available". In my opinion, there are a whole lot of people on the personals with profiles.... claiming they are seeking partners, when in truth... they just arn't available.

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 96 (view)

And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world.... Posted: 4/4/2009 12:18:45 AM
I like what Dr. Phil says about "Right fighting". "Do you want to be Right... or Happy" ? Now.... if you are really so concerned about the media's untruths in advertising..... whay arn't you griping about a Bud Light commercial??!! Har! Thjis was all I wanted to write, but this damned site won't allow me to post messages this short. I see most of the rest of you can post one liners all day. ??? For some reason I am being persecuted, I guess... Hmmmmmmmm? Will it post now? NOPE! Still not enough. What the hey!!?? this is very irritating. Enough to get me off here again. Still says its too short?? what gives? Very frustrating. Sheesh.

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 29 (view)

Over 60...Finding True Love >Fact or Fantasy Posted: 4/3/2009 11:48:28 PM
Simple answer: Absolutely!!!! I've done my share of complaining about the new found challenges of being single at this mature age. About the predominance of what appear to be ridiculously fussy and born again virgin women whose new standards are so high only Jesus or Elvis might quality. Yes, I've done my share of whining about it. But, as I read this thread it occurred to me: Even though the women were beautiful and oh so plentiful throughout my youth (and that lasted clear until I was 45!) It didn't really help me find and experience 'true Love'. If I am honest! Mostly it took me square on the firey road to Hell. I'm lucky (grateful) to be alive and still in the game. So... the truth is, even though the venue has shifted and the hunting has gotten a lot more difficult.... the actual chances of finding and experiencing True Love are greatly increased at this age...(over 60). One thing is certain: If you have doubts about it..... it isn't going to help you at all!! And worse, If you don't believe it.... then why in the Heel are you putting up a profile and looking? This is the way things work: First you believe, then you find. It really doesn't work the other way around.

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 45 (view)

Too old to have another child? Posted: 4/2/2009 9:29:13 AM
Heres a Fact I learned on a 60 minutes segment about carreer women who thought they would put off having children until their 40s. ( The average age at which women lose all their eggs [that means they are now sterile] is 42) It was amazing how many highly educated and successful women didn't know this! That being said: I personally find the tendency here towards very negative judgement a little distasteful. Parenting is not so much about age as it is about ability, and function. I would much rather have a 50 year old father who is caring and functional and there for me, than a drunken 25 yr. old father who screams at me, and beats the hell out of me..... cheats on my mother and causes me to become a pathetic dysfunctional retard. I was 50 when my last was born. I don't regret that in the least. I did make a terrible mistake though. I chose very poorly the uterus! The life support system it was attached to turned out to be an alcoholic abusive immature cruel woman. So, she matter of factly just left on the eve of the babies first birthday. The pain I went through would certainly take a book. But, again...... it had nothing to do with age. My advice to the OP: Pick your partner very, very.........very wisely!

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 61 (view)

Know what really ticks me off? Posted: 4/2/2009 9:04:24 AM
This would be a "pet peeve" , wouldn't it. Wrinkles pretty much means: (face). I find some faces attractive, and some I don't. Whether there are wrinkles or not, doesn't seem to be a constant in the equasion. Who can say what combination of stuff makes an "attractive face" to us? One man's beautiful is probably another's ugly. I try not to waste my time and energy over-anylizing this stuff. I just try and pay attention to whats going on inside me. thats good enough. As far as the whole package goes. I know I tend to be turned off by the signifigantly over-weight... the sedentary. this has nothing to do with aging. Our faces are always out there.... exposed to the wonderful Light of day. They are the billboard of the life we have lived. Our bodies..... can be the billboard to the life we (havn't ) lived. Use em or Lose em! Keep on smilin'... and wrinklin'!

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 47 (view)

Do successful men want higher maintenance women? Posted: 4/2/2009 8:42:48 AM
Does Anybody here actually understand what "high maintainance" is? It has nothing to do with clothes or make-up, etc. (at least not directly, these things can be a side effect of high maintainence mentality). High maintainence means, childish... immature...needy...self centered...selfish..... insecure... and usually pretty much incapable of real caring or Loving. Any man who prefers these types just because they may happen to look nice on his arm is absolutely No one you would want to have anything to do with anyway! OP. You are a strikingly beautiful mature woman. And, those boots are sexy! ha. Stick to your guns, and by all means: Be yourself. Getting someone to like us by being something we are not..... never works. Never.

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Does dating in our age group seem like Posted: 4/2/2009 8:15:31 AM
For me: Not at all. Yes people still have personal choices that they prefer. But that has nothing to do with a high school mentality. Its just human nature. In high school our "attraction" mechanisms were clean. Uncluttered. Pure. When we were attracted, we were simply attracted. We had no considerations about all the stuff that now clogs our attraction software. Those feelings in high school were pure too. Powerful. All consuming. Even primordial. Hell, I hadn't even heard of the word...dysfunction yet! Now: it oftens feels like I have been sent to another planet. By the time I get through checking off all the boxes that have accumulated along the way.... the prospects are narrowed down to maybe 5 to 10 percent. The ones that don't look like I am dating my old grandmother look and act like they just escaped from a serial killer husband. The rest can't stand my lifestyle... or hate my politics. ha! Or.... feel I don't have enough dough. har. But, I'm still the perennial optomist. I know I'm the one for one of you out there. (no not you hairy men). I have figured out I'm hopelessly straight. Ha.... I didn't even know what Gay was in high school either! Back then it meant... happy and light hearted. funny, huh!

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 97 (view)

gaslighting, has anyone ever experienced this? Posted: 3/30/2009 1:06:21 AM
According to Evans: Your'e dealing with a whole different animal here with the abusers. They exist in a different reality. There are two basic realities: (reality one: Power over.... I win, you lose.... their power comes from outside of themselves) (Reality two: authentic power.... I win, you win..... Power comes from within) These two types will Never begin to understand each other. It would be like me trying to speak to a russian who knew NO english. The abuser obviously exists in Reality One. I used to spend countless Hours attempting with every bit of kindness and empathy and understanding I could pull up to get the abuser in my life to "understand". She would just look at me with contempt and pretty much tell me to get 'Fooked' when it was all over. There is no , nor can there ever be, any common ground between the two realities. Its a waste of time and precious energy. I guess I'm a kind of amature psychologist. I confess. And I know all about "projection" too. I'm not seeing a lot of projection here. But there are also two levels of "getting it'. Just because we have an intellectual knowledge of this stuff in our head, doesn't mean we really get it. Human behavioral change doesn't take place in the brain. It takes place from the Heart. The trick is moving knowledge from the brain to the Heart. Thats where we usually need help and time. But, books like Evans are incredible tools to add to our arsonal to protect ourselves.

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 27 (view)

Life is Too Short BS Posted: 3/30/2009 12:43:56 AM
Heres what I am finding to be true... more and more all the time. All those corny cliche's that we grew up with... hearing all the time.... are absolutely true! Thats why they are there! They are not just bad little corny jokes or sayings. The truth is... all the wisdom of the universe is distilled into those many little cliches. They are not meant to be '[analyzed... or criticized... or rationalized...or...??] They are meant to be meditated on. As soon as we begin applying our personal inaccurate baggage to them, we have missed their point (wisdom). These cliches are just the "messenger". Arnt we warned against attacking the messenger. When we do that, we always miss the message. I am getting a lot more humble in my old age. And, I am learning the absolute uselessness of 'reaction'. Life is too short.

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

Stepping out of the box Posted: 3/30/2009 12:29:51 AM
Let me share a little secret with you single mature women. There Lots of single mature Men who do go out alone to the various clubs and pubs...hoping like Hell that an attractive single mature woman will have the guts to come out alone too. I've seen and heard all the excuses and rationalizations from women for not going to the clubs.... alone (or often no matter what). Look, ya don't have to love karaoke...or get all stupid and drunk. You can go out and still maintain your personal standards. ( real men notice that!) But, ya gotta get out. I went through my pias and holier than though pure period too. I'm glad I'm through it. It wasn't all that fun. ha. Now, I can mingle with the low lifes...and some drunks...and bad singers... and have fun, if I choose. Be careful about passing judgement too harshley. Diomands and gold nuggests are usually found among the worthless stones. Like the OP, get off the couch... off the computer... and off yer high horse and just get out...... alone. Its not that bad. good luck.

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 97 (view)

Younger children as dealbreakers Posted: 3/30/2009 12:11:21 AM
Sheesh! so much judgements and critical attitude about this. I think a bunch of you should just wait till they get robotics developed to the point of replacing people for companionship and sex. har! And... as a matchmaker... I say Don and Moriama are perfect for one another. Why look farther. ha! Oh, come on now.... don't go gettin' all serious on me. Yes, of course... we are always entitled to our personal choices. No problem with that. But I'm seein' way too much unecessary opinionated add-on's here. Its really not about kids is it? Its about whether the people we get mixed up with are healthy and functional. Healthy parents do not have co-dependent relationships with their kids. Healthy parents are not in continual battles and drama with their ex's. Healthy parents (people) are healed, growing and available. thats what we want. Kids are wonderful. for reasons I will probably never know, I have not gotten to experience a normal family experience over extended time. But, my children are pieces of heavenly stardust in my life. When I am with them, I am elevated and transformed into my higher self....(mostly ha!) They are truly a source of wonder and magic. Mine range from 34 all the way down to 12. from three different mothers. I know: ha! A lot of you women would be throwing holy water on me and holding up crosses trying to make me go away. Or...stay away. Or maybe, disappear back into the Hell from which I emerged. har. But, there is a perfect woman out there for me. And me for her. She could be childless... or have a brood with even young-uns. I sure couldn't predict. Happy fishing everyone.

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 263 (view)

Is intelligence a key characteristic for you? Posted: 3/28/2009 12:46:00 AM
Yes, yes..... and yes! I used to think my perfect woman would be three feet tall, blond, with a flat brainless head so I could set my drink on it. har. But in truth, I would't last long with a woman who couldn't intelligently interact with me, and share some of my basic "intelligent" paradigms and philosophies. Now: Intellect (in my opinion_) is not necessarily intelligence. Allthough, someone of high intellect can also be intelligent. There is such a thing as 'emotional intelligence'...a must. And, then there is that highest level of human thought and function.... 'common sense'. Its because of all of the above that I have become a serious "conservative" in my mature years! ha. So, unfortunately, I just don't think I could actually Live with one of those looney Liberals anymore. ha. I know, this is not a political thread.... but, I couldn't resist the obvious simularities.

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 77 (view)

gaslighting, has anyone ever experienced this? Posted: 3/28/2009 12:17:29 AM
I would have sworn I had a post on this thread? I see someone (if not more than one) has allready made a reccommendation of (the verbally abusive relationship). I think Everyone... and I mean everyone, should get this book and READ it. We must have this stuff accurately defined. I'm sorry, but very very few of us are much good at this all on our own. Inevitably our definitions will be inaccurate or inadequate to some degree. A lot of us get it so wrong its pathetic. I certainly was one! Evens has 14 different catagories of verbal abuse. What you are calling gaslighting here (I had never heard the term before) would be among them by some other name. Or, gaslighting might be a combination of verbal abuses .? For those of you who have apparantly never had the misfortune of experienceing this. I kind of envy you.... in a sort of child-like mysterious way. However, take my word for it..... You are still vulnerable to this if you can't understand what the op was talking about. You should add the book to your personal 'education' too. Today: I don't give three strikes anymore. If I experience any kind of abusive behavior from someone.... anywhere, anytime, any place...whatever.... its ONE strike and your'e outta there. Be gone with thee! Take a hike! Get lost! Hasta lavista' baby! Shame on the offender's for what they do. shame on us for lettin' em get away with it.

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 70 (view)

Relationships and Women, hey guys what do you think? Posted: 3/24/2009 9:43:12 AM
I tell ya...... what I see here, way too much..... allmost predominantly, is this very unfortunate "War" going on between Men and Women. Its going on outside the forums too, of course, its just that a venue like the forums allows us to see it rather graphically. Like most wars, we can choose to build ever bigger and more destructive weapons and keep up the fight.... or, perhaps we could consider throwing down our weapons and take some time to see if we are really fighting about anything worthwhile>???? As long as we keep using our own very tiney personal experiences to "define" all this stuff.... we will probably Keep up the fight. We may have a few little satisfactions. Win a few battles. But, we will keep getting shot at, wounded or even killed. And that which we really desire will remain out there in the haze of the drifting gunsmoke. I like to remember the BASICS. Do any of you actually think the Creator built Men and Women to be Enemies???? I certainly don't. If we find ourselves in a so-called 'modern progressive' world in which this seems to have become the case.... I would question that (new) wisdom. I think we have been fed a huge plate of crap! Especially in the last half of the 20th century. Don't get me wrong: I'm grateful for women having been liberated and having access to their personal power. (allthough, in truth... this was always possible). I'm all for Equality. Of course! But, we have thrown out the baby with the bath water. The word is "Equality". That means Equal. The feminazis have attempted to get women to strive for something 'above' men. That will never work. Just like it didn't work when Men believed they were above women. If there isn't equality... then there will be war. Simple. Everything we need to Know is in a good dance. For those of you who don't know how to dance. get your butts off the couch and go learn. It takes two. A leader and a follower. The rules have to be aggreed on or it won't work. No one is better than anyone else. When there is argument about who leads.... it doesn't work. Its just an ugly stumbling around... and no one is satisfied. When both parties follow the rules (the way we were created) there is a kind of graceful harmony and fluid motion that approaches the sublime. Its not much of a mystery to me. As Dr. Phil says: " Do you want to be Right... or do you want to be Happy".

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 47 (view)

How long would you wait to have sex? Posted: 3/23/2009 7:52:55 PM
I understand the frustrations and confusions which are apparantly rampant in the single world. the mature relationship search world. I have them too. I don't get the pre-occupation with 'rules'...ect. though? why does there have to be some kind of rule? And, just who gets to make up these rules? huh? I think I will make up my OWN rules. the ones that actually pertain to who I am, and what I want. If I am lucky, I'll find women with basically simular 'personal' rules. The answer: You wait until its the mutually right time. simple. If I remember correctly, (damn, its been a while).... both parties kinda know. It might be in the car after the first coffee date: It might be several months down the road, after a serious relationship time has blossomed into powerful Love. It might never happen?

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

Work at it or just let it be? Posted: 3/23/2009 7:18:01 PM
I strongly suggest that Everyone here read a book I just finished. ( If I am so wonderful, why am I still single) by susan page. I found it in the library. Or rather, it found me. I was waiting for a computer, and it was staring me in the face. ha ha! I tell ya, I've goofed off on these forums from time to time for a long time. and I have seen the excuses and wonderful rationalizations for being single and loving it over and over and over. Be careful. Read the book. Number ONE killer of finding our partner: "Ambivalince" We really havn't actually defined what we really want. So, we tend to get caught in those comfortable 'rationalization' traps, among other things. We basically sabatoge ourselves and stay alone.... or perhaps worse, get into what she calls BTN relationships. (better than nothing) We don't have to do either. Check the book out.

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

who takes the first step? Posted: 3/23/2009 7:09:04 PM
"Life rewards ACTION"...... put that one on yer refrigerator. There are NO rules. We can all do whatever we want. thats the way it should be. However, common sense would easily dictate that we do more than sit back passively and Hope something happens. It might. But the odds are greatly lessened. I like Nike's tag line: " Just do it!" I make it a point to purposely send a mail to one of those (magnificent) profiles we all come accross from time to time that our brain immediately tells us..." your'e not good enough for that one". Lots of times I only get silence..... but, I made a cast. The responses I do get are usually polite, but kind of no dice. Its good exercize in rejection. We Musn't allow the fear of rejection to paralyze us! Never! Now git to typing!

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 59 (view)

Why do we rate photos so harshly? Posted: 3/23/2009 6:58:42 PM
I've never bothered to mess with the feature. but, If I did, whats wrong with it? to me its nothing personal. Its not about the person in the pic. Its about the quality of the photo isn't it> ? some people just have really rotten pics. I am flabberghasted why they would even post them. grainy, fuzzy...distant... , makes them look probably a lot worse than they actually are. Perhaps they need to be made awares of that>? But, as I see it...... just getting on the personals, and putting yourself out there entails risk. If ya can't handle it... then get out. Nobody wants to hear a bunch of victim moaning and complaining. I can handle legitimate and appropriate critisism. The rest, I just ignow. Ambivalence is the best weapon.

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Are players sexually immature? Posted: 3/22/2009 12:13:09 PM
This post really has two seperate issues in it, I think. First one: the original post heading. The answer would be yes. But their immaturity doesn't just stop at sex. They are pretty much immature accrose the board, sex being only one part. There are lots of reasons people get arrested in their process of maturity, but our task is to learn how to "recognize" it... and not get seriously involved with these types. We don't need to clutter ourselves up with pondering the 'whys' . Now: this doesn't mean that immature (dysfunctional) types don't know how to engage in the actual act of having sex very well! Many of them are very accomplished...physically. What makes them immature (in my opinion) is the way in which they use or abuse sex in the context of the total picture. Usually it is more of a controlling manipulative self-centered device in their world. (reality One types: I win, you lose). As to the other Issue: Can there be satisfying sex in casual relationships? Of course. Its not about the other stuff, its always about us. It depends entirely on what our personal state of being and our mentality is. It depends on what our goals, values and strategies are at any particular time. And, I believe that, if we are wise.... we should Never completely close the door on true sponteneity.... no matter how strict our stuff might be.

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 44 (view)

How long before it's real from online Posted: 3/22/2009 11:53:55 AM
This Journey that all of us are having on the internet is very personal and while there are certainly some common sense 'rules' about it all, I am hessitant to make rash judgements about exactly how it should be done. I've been playing around in this medium for a decade, and its an ongoing expanding and growing process.... just like life. A lot of people I read on here (the internet) seem too quick to run into the 'generalization' mentality just because of some of their unfortunate personal anecdotal experience. Most of our personal experience, no matter how profound it may feel to us, is probably just a product of our ignorance and fumbling attempts at trying stuff. To start defining the universe based on that is actually pretty dumb. I've stopped "blaming" people, places and things for my bad experiences and failures...etc. It really doesn't work, and in the end..... just keeps us impaired and un-empowered. The internet is just an amazing modern communication tool. thats all. Some people are bound to project their personal aberations into and onto it. Learn how to recognize them! I am an eternal optomist. I believe Most people are basically honest and good. I am not going to condemn all of them just cause I have a bad experience with one of the few bad ones. As to the initial question: However long it takes. Thats entirely up to the two people involved. No one else. One day.... or three months. Whatever it takes. Me; I'm kind of in a little 'reactionary' phase. I've done a lot of the lengthy email correspondences.... some actually start becoming relationships. I love them. I believe they are real. However, I have become discouraged at the reality of finally actualizing them. My experience has been that no one usually has the resources to do the traveling and logistics to make that happen. eventually, you become kind of starved for some accross the table experiences! ha. I would be there. Now, I've launched a new campaign to root out the more local women and go for real face to face simple meeting quite early on. Usually within a week or so. Even tho the 6-8 meetings I've had have been just various levels of (no... this ain't the one), I am finding it very refreshing. Feels a lot more pro-active. I don't know where or how I am going to come out of all this? But you can't let the process discourage you. Its inevitable. I just got an incredible unexpected intro mail from a beautiful cowgirl way over in Montana. We've quickly begun a great exchange. So... go figure. Guess I'm keeping my options open? Or maybe..... I'm just dumber'n a stump. ha!

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

Trusting again Posted: 3/22/2009 11:17:34 AM
Whether the OP is being completely honest or not, I believe him about how he is feeling. thats what this is about. Whether his wife is the scoundral he paints her or whether he is actually the poor victim that he feels he is... is all irrelevent when it comes to feelings. The feelings are very real. Now: What to do about it? Well, I have my old broken record recovery mantra that is the best stuff I got to share. And, it didn't come from me. I learned it . You want to learn to trust again? Get the focus off of other people and put it where it belongs..... right on yourself. Your'e the problem. You always are! Learn to practice courageous honesty (inventory) and personal responsibility. Real trust isn't about Knowing just what the other person is going to, or might, do. (allthough if we choose well, this is quite possible). trust is about becoming so empowered that you can take care of yourself no matter what other people do. If we are dysfunctional, we will never find anyone that we can completely trust. Don't be afraid to seek helpful envirnments. My advice is always some kind of a recovery program. All of us are coming from some levels of dysfunction. fix it! Other people have to fix themselves. I quit the business. ha. this is what always gets me: People who are moaning about all their serious personal dysfunction issues.... yet they are active on the personals and dating????? These are the types to run from as fast as you can! ha ha!

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 81 (view)

Does Labelling Hold Us Back? Posted: 3/22/2009 10:58:02 AM
Dr. Phil calls it "Loving Smart".... or just (Love smart), thats the opposite of what most of us have done in our pasts......(Love, very dumb!). For those of you who still think 'Loving dumb' is some kind of an adventure... by all means go for it! ha! Its your life. You get to make those choices. Me.... I'm through with it. What kind of a house would a carpenter be able to build if he didn't have a saw and a tape measure, and didn't have any 'labels' for any construction materias except (that thingy)???? I am very grateful today that I can Identify, sociopaths... pathological co-dependents...abusers...... narcissists..... alcoholics..... gambling addicts...overeaters... and bleeding heart Liberals. (har). (among others). I know I'm absolutely NOT interested in getting serious with any of these types..... these labels are just terms to describe the aberant behaviors, thats all. Useful! (no offense to you wonderful Liberals out there...ha ha). I still Love ya... just couldn't live with ya. Heck... I even have several "labels" for myself. I think you have to take a little personal stroll into Hell and get a lot of that old thinking burnt off in order to really unerstand all this. I did! har.

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 129 (view)

WHAT IS THIS SPARK PEOPLE ARE SEARCHING FOR? Posted: 3/21/2009 8:34:28 AM
First, my direct reply to the OP: Forget about what words particular people use to attempt to describe what they hope to experience. However, in this particular person, the behavior you have allready experienced would indicate someone you should probably forget about. (I see you have allready gotten plenty of this kind of suggestion) I notice way too much cynical and sarcastic attitudes on forums about the fact that Men want sex. duh. Did it occur to all the indignant women out there (the cynical ones) that God built Men that way? Please don't throw the baby out with the bath water. No, I'm not attempting to excuse any bad behaviors. But, I for one (Man) will not apologize because the creator built me to want sex. Men really arn't a whole lot different than a billy goat. Except that we were given a reasoning brain to manage our behaviors. So, in the end, it is all about behavior. If you don't care for someone's style.... fine. But I would caution against adopting a bad attitude about men because they are essentially billy goats. har. besides.... if yer honest.... you wouldn't want us any other way!

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 209 (view)

How do men feel about women with silver hair? Posted: 3/19/2009 9:19:02 AM
I can't speak for Men in general.... allthough there are probably a lot of them who can't see past 'grey hair'. However, I can tell you how I feel about yours. I would Love to "feel" it!!! hows that. ha! In the end, it is all about beauty. Some women just seem to have it... and some, well.... they were just out in the lower 40 pickin' posies when it was being handed out. ha. And, it isn't about whether your hair is silver or not. In fact, a truly handsome mature woman can be accented in magnificent way by that thick silver hair! Sometimes the artificially colored hair can look quite unatural on mature people. (and then theres those blue and pink old ladies styles...??? omg.) And, we all know how it looks when your roots are grey and the rest is black...??? Oh no. Better get that dye out! You are on the right track OP, and let me say, for what its worth... you would be one of those "handsome" women.

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 54 (view)

Does Labelling Hold Us Back? Posted: 3/19/2009 9:10:46 AM
I've heard it said: (if you don't stand for something, you will stand for anything). I think a lot of you here are automatically reacting to the term label, and defining it as just negative. It doesn't have to be. What kind of a world would it be if stuff wasn't defined and labeled. Its no different with people and relationships. don't get me wrong, I love spontenaiety... and I strive to keep my mind well open. Just like all of you, I don't want to miss that gold nugget while I am looking at purty rocks. But, I have made all the stupid idiotic mistakes I can possibly handle when it comes to picking someone to attempt to have a life with. I could not survive another "mistake". ha ha! True. I'll keep all the 'tools' I have worked so hard to put into my box, thank you. Its really all about your personal power. If you have reclaimed it, Labels don't matter anymore.... You don't give a hoot what labels others may choose to afix to you, and you are not afraid to attach on to someone else if it fits. If it quacks like a duck....? har.

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 30 (view)

Are old people starting to look good to you? Posted: 3/19/2009 8:52:59 AM
I figured out that the universal failing of our 'up close' eyesight as we mature is really natures way of helping us both look good and see others in a better light. ha. Its annoying having to look for your damn glasses all the time... but, I have noticed I would rather look up close on aging women without them. and... I am sure its the same way for them! (about me). The failing close focus has a way of softening and smoothing things out. The way it should be. At 25 we were Meant to be viewed very close up, in clear focus. Now.... we all need some help. ha. All I know is..... at the age I've reached, a 40 year old is the "young" ones anymore. Who in the Hall would have ever thought That would happen!!?? Not me. After 60 you enter into some kind of very different place. All the old ways of defining and referencing have vanished. Its like another planet. Things start getting very real! You can still appreciate the solid beauty of a 25 yr. old, but you can "see" the absolute beauty of a mature woman . Especially the ones who have made better choices and kept themselves reasonably fit. I attend a seniors dance once in a while that takes place in a club every sunday here and there are a few women in their sixties that have bodies like teenagers! Yeeeooooooow. Of course, they are married. But there are more that look like they are past 90! I always feel so 'young' there. ha!

pinebreeze

Joined: 2/6/2006

Msg: 71 (view)

Talking about Humor and Comedians Posted: 3/18/2009 9:37:54 PM
I get your point. and largely, I aggree. There certainly arn't any Red Skeltons around these days!!!! What a simply wonderful and Loving man. However, the satire of today doesn't have to be bad just because of what it is. there are plenty of good ones out there. And, there are plenty of bad ones too. The ones I don't like are the ones who are blatently and very obviously bitter and ugly in their deliveries, material and presentations. ( Bill Marr comes to mind). Pretty much the opposite of Ol Red. A hateful man (Marr). But then.... I love Dennis Miller. ha! Go figure. I know, I know..... I'm conservative. But, its more than that. There is a softer way in which Dennis manages to absolutely lambaste the looney leftests. The excessive use of filth. Had enough of it. George Carlin was the master...even if he was leaning to the liberal side. His genius always transcended his personal stuff, and his ability to see the absurd in all humans is probably unequaled. I grew up with him. I loved him. It would be fun to see some simple comedy shows again, wouldn't it.

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