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evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 99 (view)

where have the old fashioned values gone Posted: 1/16/2008 1:42:34 PM
The good old fashioned values are here, right in front of you and they always have been. Sometimes it is easy for us to focus on the negative things that happen to us, to the unjustices, after all is it not through suffering that we are most easily awakened from our comfort zone? I am certain that each of you meet amazing, kind and generous people all the time and though you appreciate them they are not the one's that stand out. If I may suggest, don't worry about the people who have lost their way or may not realize the impact their naive actions have on others. You don't know what kind of tribulations their life's vicissitudes have wrought on them and they, like many of us, do not know how to express themselves properly. So let them be responsible for their own happiness as you are responsible for your own... be resilient against the storms and shine regardless. After all, isn't the sun always shining on the inside?

Evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Met a great guy but now getting strange emails Posted: 10/3/2007 5:33:01 PM
From my perspective I would consider it protocol for a friend to introduce another friend as opposed to passing on private information uninvited. If you aren't comfortable receiving emails from this person sweetjeep let him know that you don't know him and don't find it appropriate that he contacted you without proper introduction, then ask him not to contact you again.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Waiting for someone in a relationship to breakup Posted: 6/30/2007 12:15:29 PM
I went through exactly what you are going through. I met this beautiful woman and we both knew there was a strong attraction. Only she had a boyfriend she'd been with for two years. I really wanted to get to know this girl but because of the gravity of the connection I told her that as long as she has a boyfriend I can't call her or see her because I will only want to see her more. She understood and agreed and gave me her email. We talked through email for about a year, strictly platonic and always respectful.. I even helped her with her relationship problems despite how much I wanted to tell her to ditch him and be with me. I'm not the kind of man to impose on another man's happiness. Well one day in an email she gave me her phone number.. I was shocked! She'd broken up with her boyfriend a month before and decided to pursue a relationship with me. We were together for two years. The thing is I didn't wait for her, my life still went on. What I did do was be a friend to her, not because I was interested in her but because she was an amazing person. What I find we people tend to do is seek to possess things which give us happiness. So when we come across an attractive amazing person we desire so strongly to be with them that having a friendship with them becomes painful to us. My suggestion OP is to take yourself and your desire out of the equation and just see her for who she is and treat her like the friend she is to you. It's much easier to be yourself this way and hey, who knows what the future will bring. Maybe you'll end up together after all.. but just in case it doesn't happen, best not to wait for her and miss another opportunity because of closed doors.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 83 (view)

Why do we ask? Posted: 6/27/2007 8:42:26 PM
OP: In my opinion, people lie because they are ashamed of the truth, or because they feel the truth isn't the means with which they can achieve something. "What" someone does is not as important as "why". Why, is one of the most difficult questions to answer on any subject, and even more difficult question to accept the answer to from one who has lied to you. As curious an individual as I am I would very likely want to know why, but I probably wouldn't ask. I would definitely talk about it and let them know that they can always talk straight with me, they don't ever need to lie. From my experience, guilty people have a tendency to explain themselves without coaxing. What would I do with the explaination.. if I believed what they told me, I would do my best to understand where they were coming from. Perhaps if I put myself in their shoes I could imagine carrying the burden of a shameful truth. If the person was honest about the lie and told me the truth, I would forgive them. Everyone deserves a second chance to learn from their mistakes. If we don't give others that chance, why should we get one when we make a mistake.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

When is a good time? Posted: 6/7/2007 9:23:59 AM
How soon is too soon to start dating again? It's a subjective question only you can answer. The triteful response of course is "when you are ready".. but how do you know when you are ready? If you think you can begin dating and not bring your past with you on the dates. If you're confident your ex-wife can be with another man and you will be happy for her. Jealousy is possessiveness and if you can't let go of one thing how can you pick up the next? If you aren't lonely, looking to fill the void your ex-wife once filled. I'd answer more thoroughly but I have to run to the casino or I'll miss the poker tournament! I hope this helps.. ---------------------------------- Regarding the "Must not be married" question, people appreciate openness and honesty. especially if they are interested in getting to know you intimately, they'll want to know all the intimate details.. don't you think? It's an understandable situation you are in and, if I may say so, quite noble. Not all great relationships have to mean forever.. and they certainly don't have to end in abrupt severage. If you are upfront and honest and they are mature and reasonable then there shouldn't be a problem.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 43 (view)

Always a FWB, never a girlfriend!! Posted: 6/4/2007 7:57:57 AM
Would you feel comfortable keeping the friendship the way it is without trying to make it into something more? Sometimes there will be attraction between friends, we can't help to feel the way we feel.. but not every great conversation has to lead to an everlasting friendship, and not every great friendship needs to lead to a relationship. You and your gentleman friend have a good thing going, just appreciate the friendship, the quality time together and just be. Be careful though, if you don't keep reign on your feelings and you may find your desire for more than your friend is prepared to give may cause you heartache when it isn't reciprocated. Be good!

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

How long should you chat to somebody before you meet up? Posted: 6/3/2007 10:23:05 PM
I remember a time when I found a girl I thought was cute and I would approach her and just say hi. I'd introduce myself and we'd have a small chat, then I'd get her number. I'd call her soon, not too soon but not too much later either and we'd meet up and just hang out and go from there. How far have we come from those days? I won't give you my number, but here's my email. Have we become so paranoid and antisocial that we've become unapproachable? Personally, if I'm digging someone I'll ask to meet them right away or relatively soon.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 62 (view)

Deal Breakers Posted: 12/4/2006 8:43:17 PM
Here's a few of my dealbreakers: 1. If she thinks 2. If she doesn't raise her hand before speaking 2.5 If she puts her hand down before she has permission 3. If she knows how to drive 4. If she knows how to read 5. If she's attractive 6. If she has any self esteem 7. If she has any friends 8. If she thinks I'm being at all serious here 9. If she doesn't say LOL in every sentence 10. If she can count past 10 11. If she ever actually believed that 4 inches really is 6 inches. 12. If she doesn't have hair on her chinny chin chin 13. If she doesn't do get the stains out of my underwear 14. If she doesn't wear the gps bracelet I got her at all times There's a few hundred more but if I write any more you'll complain. 15. Oh yah, if she complains

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 50 (view)

I'm confused and heartbroken Posted: 12/4/2006 8:27:37 PM
I'm not psychotic... don't project your personal psychosis on me .... Though I was merely playing on his words and wasn't at all serious about that (which is very hard to tell since tone of voice can't be captured in posts), truth is we are ALL insane. The very act of sanity comes from being 'whole', and none of us are whole. We are all fractioned despite how defensive any of us become about it. Now, all cynicism aside, what I said was constructive. You, knowing his situation, have become hopeful. Yes he may like you as well. And you may be setting yourself up for disappointment. He is a very kind man, and he may be like this with everyone. Still, it is giving you the kind of attention you are not used to, and the kind of attention you desire, so naturally you are feeling starved for this attention. Thus you desire how he makes you feel. Is this not so? He is interested in someone else. You know this. So give him his space, be his friend, because that's what you are. Be happy for him, because that's what friends do. If he is interested in you or if he isn't, there isn't anything you can do because it is his choice to do what he wants. If you try to compete, then you are projecting yourself and that is not really you. If you try, and this is what people do when they yearn for another, he may become disinterested in you because you will have changed your natural disposition to one with an agenda. If he was ever interested in you, it is because you are just being yourself. Your feelings cause you pain. It is suffering. You said yourself, you want something you can't have. So, give your head a shake! Use your head. And, I say again, Control yourself. Don't let your loneliness or a glimmer of hope from the kindness of this man cloud your ability to REASON. Control yourself. (and just because you don't hear that affirmation you are looking for doesn't mean we aren't being helpful.) And don't reply defensively, because I don't care how nitpicky you will get to this or that. just consider what I have said and take what value you will...if you can step out of yourself and see yourself and your situation objectively.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 45 (view)

I'm confused and heartbroken Posted: 12/4/2006 4:38:27 PM
Give your head a shake. Why are you putting any emphasis on him as a potential partner when he's into someone else? Oh yah, cause you are psychotic. Don't confuse acts of kindness for interest. The answer: Control yourself.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 24 (view)

Molestation dilemma Posted: 12/4/2006 4:34:25 PM
Truth is, this woman shouldn't be responsible for the care of other people's children when she compromised the security of her own children. Children require an extra sensitive care and attention. Ask yourself if you would have your children in her care knowing her background, her capability to lie, withhold vital information, covet a criminal PARTICULARLY a pedophile that abused her own children?

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 80 (view)

why i won't have sex Posted: 12/4/2006 4:21:50 PM
By establishing a probationary period you are letting your fears control you, and undermine the integrity of the men you are dating. Men are not a category, they are individual people. Your decision not to have sex is not a wrong decision, the motivation behind this decision is. Do you not think it better to say that you will take each man you decide to date and say "I will trust this man because he has done me no wrong, and I will give him this flower that is my body when I am ready to. You may argue that this is semantics, but I am not here to argue. People deserve the respect that is trust, they deserve our friendship first. Because we have become jaded, paranoid, afraid, we have twisted these virtues and have said, "In order to protect myself, trust must be earned, friendship must be earned, love must be earned". This mentality is what keeps us from accepting one another, and it divides us. Ask yourself, are you worthy of anothers trust? Is it fair for someone to mistrust you because someone else abused their trust?

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 40 (view)

A NEW friend with a past..... Posted: 8/13/2006 11:47:19 PM
So I'm walking down the street one night and this lady was coming out of her house to walk her dog. Her very big and intimidating dog. A dark dog! With eyes! Only the dog wasn't on a leash! It sees me and while the owner is locking up her door the very big intimidating dog spots me and b-lines straight for me, teeth gnashing and barking like, like he's just really not very happy to see me. So what did I do? How I reacted to this new circumstance determined the dogs next move. Would he A. Wish he had some hp sauce to go with his new chew toy or B. Stop dead in his tracks and think, "Wait a minute..."? The dogs disposition initially told me that something of importance is about to happen and I should pay attention. How the friend with the past conveyed this juicy bit of information will determine how they will receive it. If one of my new guy friends told me that he cheated on his ex before I'd say "oh yah". And just listen to see what he wanted to say about it. Really I don't care if he did or didn't, the past is history. Unless he brags about it. Then we have a problem. If it is presented to me matter of factly, as any account of an actual event must be presented in order to get close to the truth, to what is, then I would receive it matter of factly. No problem. Now if he presented this to me apprehensively, the build up doesn't make one think of rainbows if you know what I mean and I would take a defensive stance on whatever issue was brought forth. If they are your friend then they already like you. That's obvious. So there's no need to scare them with any terrible even of your past, because it's history! No regrets. Just wicked learning curves. People are really in control of how information gets received, so the truth is it's up to you. I got really angry instead of scared, surprisingly, and I actually took a step towards the dog! and pointed at it fiercely as I yelled at him, like really mad!!, "BAD DOG". He stopped dead in his tracks and took one step back and sat down. The owner called to the dog and the dog looked back and hopped up and went to her. She apologized profusely and I said I think your leash is broken. I was still mad, the blood pumping through my veins. After I turned and walked away as I replayed the scenario in my head I felt the fear I should have felt. That could have been ugly.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 133 (view)

Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships? Posted: 8/10/2006 7:07:41 PM
I feel so much better now, knowing that I'm destined to be a curse in the relationship...hey eternallysingle, can we switch usernames :P Okay so you're stupidity shines at work. But you haven't given an example of stupidity in a relationship, which is what we are talking about. So, you're still safe. For now...

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 47 (view)

How can a relationship start here? Posted: 8/9/2006 10:52:52 AM
Hm, I suggest just being yourself and take away the expectation to avoid being disappointed. Be selective, but be open as well. For every person you hang up on three will hang up on you. Some people lie, let them lie. It doesn't mean you have to compromise your integrity, and in their hearts they will know why they are still unhappy long after you have found what has been looking for you.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Why are women so afraid of a Man that is serious about commitment? Posted: 8/9/2006 10:49:15 AM
nah, not afraid of commitment, just afraid that as soon as they commit to you Mr Perfect will walk around the corner.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 112 (view)

Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships? Posted: 8/9/2006 10:44:31 AM
I think stupidity is a curse in relationships. Stupid decisions, stupid perceptions, stupid arguements. Stupid misunderstandings.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

Adults not sure what they are looking for!!! Posted: 8/9/2006 10:39:21 AM
When you're delving into something unfamiliar it is hard to know what to expect. So these people aren't telling you that they don't know what they want, they just don't know what to expect. They may be downplaying their expectations to broaden their perspectives. Someone may be looking for friendship, but they may be open to an intimate encounter, or something short term. Someone may ask them to go on a date and they may just say yes! Or perhaps if the right person came along they'd be open to pursuing something more long term. Since the reasons for being here aren't multiple choice, people choose to be vague. But, everyone IS looking for something.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

some questions about trust Posted: 8/9/2006 10:22:12 AM
Don't date highschool students. Turning it around on you like that is a petty manipulation designed to break your concentration. Girls like that are self absorbed and probably never blame themselves for anything.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 35 (view)

Weekend Relationships Posted: 8/9/2006 9:45:37 AM
Hey if the weekend warrior relationship fits your needs then all the power to you. It just means that you will limit yourself to finding someone that suits your schedule.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 64 (view)

Woman or Man who is most powerful creature Posted: 8/8/2006 5:46:49 PM
Why fight, when we can join and become one What would you call that then, in-human

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

Is It worth The Effort? Posted: 8/8/2006 5:41:38 PM
Well, relationships really aren't that difficult. It only becomes difficult when the emphasis of the relationship is on the relationship and not on each other. Remember to stay friends too, and hang out with each other. Just cause you're boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't mean you have to be "boyfriend/girlfriend". Be friends, be bestest friends.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 66 (view)

Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships? Posted: 8/8/2006 5:28:01 PM
Perhaps intellectuals need to lighten up a little more in their conversation. Be even more subtle, yet so subtle it's obvious...lol. Like right now! Just kidding. I never joke. Great conversations can sometimes become burned out with a constant barrage of comprehensive dialogue, unwind and have a light, jolly chat with someone and just have fun with them. Inject little bits of opinion about various things as you encounter them in your activities but not enough to bring them out of the moment into focus on the idea you had in mind. Eventually they will piece it all together without even realizing what just happened. Maybe then they'll bring it up with you, which then you can delve further into it with their full interest.. As far as one's method of expression...why should any one of us change how we are to suit what others are more familiar with? In fact, I would rather consider this the Olympics of Comprehension. Either keep up, or be left behind. I'll stay behind :) pick up all the mess after us. We're such messy people..us litterbugs. I never litter by the way. Not even a gum wrapper. If you litter you'll go to hell. I don't believe in hell either.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 61 (view)

Woman or Man who is most powerful creature Posted: 8/8/2006 5:14:17 PM
We, men and women, compliment each other perfectly. That's the natural progression of things.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

men and feelings! Posted: 8/8/2006 5:06:56 PM
Fear. From what I gather men are the protective type. If they want out they still don't want to hurt you, they want to protect you from harm. They know how much it'll hurt you and honestly crying is like blackmail to us. I broke up with a girl once, I gathered up all my courage and then she started crying. I almost buckled! But my backbone started tweaking so I gathered the strength once again and didn't let in. I think that if you tell the truth about things people are more understanding than you give them credit for. This goes for men and women alike. We're adults. We don't have to answer to anyone, and quit treating people like babies. They can handle the truth.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 96 (view)

If you could play any role in a movie or tv series... Who would it be ? Posted: 8/4/2006 10:12:57 PM
I would very much like to play Drizzt Do'Urden or Zaknafein, Drizzts father. He's a character from 16 a book set of 5 series, each of the series could make a movie. Maybe even each book. I haven't met anyone that's read one book that hasn't read them all or plans to. Unless they're not into that kind of thing of course.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 66 (view)

Why do girls don't understand No? Posted: 8/4/2006 9:56:42 PM
Why doesnt it fricken apply to men then?... It does fricken apply to men. Some women however need a little more time to absorb it.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Why Do Beautiful Women Sometimes Marry Unattractive Men? Posted: 8/4/2006 9:44:40 PM
This isn't exclusive to beautiful people. Us funny looking people can chime in too. whew, cool. thx. K uh sometimes beautiful women marry comparatively less attractive men because they know she's the best he'll ever get. And he'll worship her for it. Okay hopefully not worship, but definitely respect her for it and treat her accordingly. And he'll fight to keep her! You betcha. An attractive man can always go out and find another woman, so the fear of loss doesn't weigh as heavily on an attractive man's shoulders so he is more likely to leave if one day she decides to emotionally dump on him when she really needs a strong man to withstand the barrage and be there for her when she clears the storm. The fear of loss then becomes the womans fear. And that's not a fun way to live is it? Forgive me ladies for saying this, women aren't logical creatures. They're very much in tune with their emotions and get caught in the moment often (this is a very good thing...probably not the way you think, but hopefully I can explain in another thread shortly...). This is why we as men need them! We lend them our strength and they unlock those parts of us we may not be able to reach on our own. That's why those big rough and tough guys always talk in a voice a liiittle higher than they normally would and call you baby all the time. If you use logic on them, it won't work. Think about it, when was the last time you said or did what you thought you should say or do and nothing!? Then when you were kind of just yourself you totally got hooked up!? They want a man that 'gets it'. Does that sound logical to you? If I'm wrong, please let me know. I'd hate to be off track.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 59 (view)

Sooo...the ex is getting remarried...how do you feel? Posted: 8/4/2006 9:28:04 PM
Let's not talk about the ex's. Let's go ride bicyles! They're goooooone. Move ooooon. Great post btw! It's interesting to hear how people feel. How they think.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 63 (view)

Do guys with cats stay single forever? Posted: 8/3/2006 6:44:04 PM
Cat's are too jealous to share. Not possible.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 48 (view)

Help me understand one thing about break ups Posted: 8/3/2006 6:41:24 PM
Guys are territorial. They can still smell their pee on you.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 52 (view)

Who should say I Love You first ?? Posted: 8/3/2006 6:33:41 PM
Unlike fine wine, bottled up emotions don't taste better over time. I would tell her, and I would be sure to let her know that I don't expect her to say anything.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

marrying a virgin Posted: 8/3/2006 6:22:27 PM
It's probably something I'd talk with her about. If my girl assures me of something, I believe her without question and wouldn't think twice about it again.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 48 (view)

Not Too Proud To Ask For Help Posted: 8/1/2006 11:50:33 PM
Here's the thing. If they aren't "real", so what. Do other people read this. yes. If what we say can benefit someone else besides the OP is it worth saying anyways? yes. So let the trolls be trolls, whatever their purpose is they know in their hearts what's right and by not being themselves they will only keep themselves from happiness. It really doesn't affect us so let's not get caught up with such things and remember that there are others out there that this may help.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 46 (view)

Not Too Proud To Ask For Help Posted: 8/1/2006 11:43:54 PM
Forget about the priority list, it's really dependent on where you two are in life. I will give this piece of advice. Pay attention. Hang on her every word, and bring up things that she talks about... it will show her that you really ARE paying attention. Ask her questions and be genuinely interested in her answer. When you keep an ear out for noteable mentions you can pick up on a lot of things she likes that you can surprise her with later. (like how she likes roses but for some reason daffodils do it for her, or every time a song comes on she likes and says Oh I love this song! you can make a mental note and compile a CD for her one day and attach it to a photo album you put together of the two of you) You also pick up on things she doesn't like, like how guys sometimes leave their hair in the shower...imagine how impressed she'll be when she finds out you don't do that! anymore... Become interested in things she's interested in. One of my ex girlfriends was Thai, and she'd rent these Thai movies that were like 11 tapes long! I don't speak thai at all, and she'd tell me "I'm going to watch my movie, if you want to play your game that's okay" So I'd play game for about half hour and then I'd turn it off and go cuddle with her on the couch and watch these movies. I'd ask her questions, who's that guy? Who's she? And she'd explain a little what's going on and I'd follow the storyline based on the bodylanguage. I really, really would have prefered to play my game than watch the foreign soap series, but I can't express to you how much it meant to her that I spent that time with her. She knew I did it for her. Communication! When you talk about things don't hold back. If you establish that comfortability in being open with each other early on it really builds a solid foundation of trust. People are perceptive, and when you hold something back, people can sense that reservation and their instincts will tell them so. Let her know what to expect of you and she will know you have integrity. There's more, but these are the best tips I can think of without revealing too much about myself.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 26 (view)

Can you have a normal relationship with a psychic??? Posted: 8/1/2006 11:14:56 PM
Yup, just don't try to lie to them. They know where you hide.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

Friend going for your ex Posted: 8/1/2006 11:04:49 PM
I don't worry about such things. Not one of any guy I know would ever go where his friend has gone. Even with written permission.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

Does a woman withholding sex in a RELATIONSHIP cause you to find it elsewhere? Posted: 8/1/2006 10:46:34 PM
crap, I totally read that wrong, just got back from the gym and all the blood is in my legs. Nothing upstairs! lol. What you are really discussing is the maturity level of your partner. If she is angry with you and denies you sex as a repercussion due to bitterness, that's just childish. Denying you sex isn't the issue, it's the mentality behind it. If she just isn't in the mood, I can understand that. If she's still upset with you and just doesn't want it, I can understand that. But if she does this out of spite and enjoys the satisfaction from it, that's just vindictiveness. Part of your responsibility isn't to jump on board with lude behaviour, though it may feel vindicated, and you shouldn't just ditch her. Relationships aren't something you try on for size. Your responsibility is to help her communicate properly so that you can help her overcome the anger instead of seething with it. A woman withholding sex in a relationship does NOT cause a man to find it elsewhere. What it should do is open his mind, his eyes, and his ears and listen closely...because his woman is trying to tell him something.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

Does a woman withholding sex in a RELATIONSHIP cause a man to find it elsewhere? Posted: 8/1/2006 10:36:06 PM
Again, personal preference. When the interest is mutual in pursuing something greater than friendship I think it's a good idea to be upfront with someone about what you expect in a relationship, as well as discussing what you see for your future. If sex is important to you in a relationship, let it be known. If waiting is right for you, let that be known too. Nothing says we are all compatible for each other and it's okay to walk away from a potential relationship. Just be friends. Communication is key, I know from personal experience I am going to talk about these things with my potential partner when the time comes. Including things like sex, kids, discipline, future goals. Better to find out sooner than later, and why wait till feelings are on the line?

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

How has withholding sex affected your relationships? Posted: 8/1/2006 2:29:53 PM
A girl broke up with me once because I wouldn't sleep with her. She figured I was gay, and when it finally got back to me I set her straight. I'm not gay, I just wasn't attracted to her that way. Like, not at all. I think she liked me better when she figured I was gay.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

old threads, new ideas Posted: 8/1/2006 2:06:17 PM
oat_meal: It's not about rebellion or petty squabbles. It's about what we can do to make the forums a better place for people to want to be a part of. We want to hear what people have to say, don't we? I mean, nothing we say or think hasn't been said or thought of before, and if we don't allow for the renewing of old ideas eventually the forums will just be a big catalogue and no one will need to post since it's all in there anyway. by keeping the forums fluid and changing it keeps up with the times, the more active it is the more attractive it is, thus more inviting. So, for the better of all, the members, mods, and the site owners, I could hardly call this petty. If you owned your own business would you listen to what your customers had to say? Especially if it would improve business?

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 47 (view)

Is the measure of the man his job?? Posted: 8/1/2006 1:29:28 PM
MrGordonGecko: I personally do not think a man is measured by his job Interesting that the first paragraph in your profile you mention a lot about your work history. I like your post by the way. It accentuates the age old saying "You can't judge a book by its cover"

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 44 (view)

Is the measure of the man his job?? Posted: 8/1/2006 1:16:05 PM
howsoonisnow: Ah, see, now you're getting closer to the point I was making. Look not at "what", but "why". When you get behind the scenes and check out the method behind the madness you see a lot about one's character. In this instance it shows that he was willing to go to great lengths to impress his parents. He was susceptible to pressure. But after a time of suffering he was finally spurred into action to pursue something more honest. It also shows that he can hold back his true feelings for so long, is that fear of consequense? Taking one's job at face value won't define a man's character, it just gives you an idea of how often he works or what kind of income category he's in. But, take the job and work your way back to the man and you will discover a lot about his character.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

old threads, new ideas Posted: 8/1/2006 12:37:49 PM
Jasmine: I see your point, but I don't spend a lot of time in other threads. I spend most of my time in these threads, and with the amount of posts here I doubt the mods of the romance category has much time to check out the "off topic". This is directed to the posters, the people that are actively in here, the people that MAKE the forums. If we want our governments to listen, we speak up. I want to know what you people think since I see you all most often. *edit Plus, what are we besides our relationships? Including our relationships with our ideas.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

old threads, new ideas Posted: 8/1/2006 12:20:51 PM
I do thread searches on topics and find 39 pages of OLD information. Opinions can change in an instant and I don't know about you but my beliefs aren't fixed. When I discover new things my opinions change with my experiences. So here's the question: When you do a thread search, who actually reads through all 29 pages? What about new comers? Do you expect them to read through all 29 pages on just one topic? Let alone many topics? Do you suppose that those early posters from threads A YEAR OLD still think along the same lines? It's pretty obvious the answer, isn't it. So why then do we get so caught up and jump on people for bringing up old topics? DO A THREAD SEARCH! I have, but I'm not interested in what people USED to think. People are here NOW, I want to know what they think NOW, don't you?

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

Is the measure of the man his job?? Posted: 7/31/2006 10:00:46 PM
Well what kind of cars is he into? is he into domestic, import? Is he a horsepower hound or more economical? Why does he love working on cars? was his dad a mechanic? What turned him on to cars? Why cars and not planes? Why a mechanic and not a race car driver? So many choices that show different qualities, like if he's passionate about what he does. Let's suppose we're all right because we're discussing some of the many definitions of character.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Is the measure of the man his job?? Posted: 7/31/2006 9:34:57 PM
Don't assume I think in water so shallow. I don't mean about the job in particular but rather the choices a man makes and why he makes those choices. Tell me the choices a man makes and the reason behind those choices doesn't define a man's character. Why did he take his job? How did he come about his job, did he look for it? Why that field? Cause it was easier than doing concrete? Did it require education? How long has he been working there? Can he hold a steady job? Does he intend to do that forever? Funny, when you think of it, everything defines a man's character! We are constantly reacting to our environment, but we are also a part of that environment.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Is the measure of the man his job?? Posted: 7/31/2006 9:20:28 PM
In a matter of speaking, it is. I'm not saying it's right, but what is is what is. It's status. Comparison. The product of our education system, focused on giving you a good education so you can get a good job (*2cents alert: and not focused on the total cultivation of the mind as education should be!). Then you'll be a part of the machine! Pleasantly distracted with your acquisition of status in this age of convenience and comfortability. Could you imagine what Mom or Dad would think if you brought home your boyfriend, the professional skateboarder.. well, he works at a skateboard shop anyways and practices a lot. He's really talented! And ambitious! He's saving to buy a di(ck)ie-Dee franchise. You must admit, what one does for a living is kind of like chinese green tea leaves at the bottom of the pot. If you read into it it can say a lot about the character.

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Would you consider this cheating? Posted: 7/31/2006 8:53:57 PM
imo, cheating occurs when one does something they feel they need to hide from their partner. except #2

evermind

Joined: 2/8/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

youve been talking for a while now...now youre going to meet.. Posted: 7/31/2006 9:26:30 AM
Well, the first time you meet it shouldn't really be considered a date. To step from online into in person I consider it just meeting. Getting a physical feel for the person. You can't really get an accurate feel for the tone someone projects online unless you follow their motion over time. If I met a woman in person and agreed to meet for a date, that would be a date date since we've already established that mutual connection in person. So, 1st time you meet, it's a meeting and should be done in somewhere public, somewhere not too distracting, and not somewhere with candlelite or cornered like some interview booth. Something proactive. If the interest is there after that, set something up a little more personal, a date.

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