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Thread: Are looks the most important?

Joined: 5/18/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

Are looks the most important? Posted: 5/28/2009 11:42:51 AM
The trouble with looks, is its the same old cliche of judging a book or magazine by its cover. Everyone is probably guilty of that to some degree. At the end of the day, beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. You could pick up a ratty old book, and it turn out to be the best story you ever read in your life. But, the rub is picking up that book to see what its about to begin with. Part of the problem is also biology. Like every other animal on the planet, we're hardwired in what we find as an attractive mate, the only difference is a matter of degree. There have been some serious psychological studies on it that are really fascinating.

Joined: 5/18/2009

Msg: 1669 (view)

so, why are you still single? Posted: 5/27/2009 10:18:38 AM
I'm still single because I haven't met the right woman yet (or maybe i did but she was already spoken for), and i have a fugly mug that only a mother would love!

Joined: 5/18/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

is there honor Posted: 5/27/2009 10:02:56 AM
Most servicemen know " Honor" ! And a lot of trusted friends that you know have that ability. Many people "use that word " to push their point accross. You should listen to a spokesmen for any branch of the armed forces. I attribute a persons environment that shapes and molds them to be what they are. The service will most definatly do that - for most people. Not everyone walks away from the military with the same experience. You can have two people, with the exact same job and rank. One could get into the thick of it all and go through alot of things that "builds character", and the other homestead on a base not having done anything or gone anywhere. I guarantee the character of both of those individuals will be vastly different. The same holds true for people in general i would think.

Joined: 5/18/2009

Msg: 18 (view)

first love, does it fade? Posted: 5/27/2009 9:45:12 AM
At 19, i know its really hard. But yes you'll move on, and yes, you'll always remember that first love, maybe even with painful memories. If you want my advice, if he shows up in your life again, and is NOT single, do not seek to be friends. Being friends with someone your in love with who is with someone else is a painful memory you don't want. If your having relationship issue's now because of comparisions, you may want to take a break from dating and give yourself some time. If your hurting now, that makes you vulnerable and susceptible to picking up the next thing that comes along to fill the void, and that person might not be a good one.

Joined: 5/18/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

is there honor Posted: 5/27/2009 9:34:30 AM
Generally speaking, I've always felt people are products of the environment. I don't neccessarily mean that in upbringing, but day to day life shapes and molds your character. Probably more so when your a kid, and when your a young adult, but less so as you get older since people tend to get set in their ways. At least, thats always been my opinion. Maybe it's a generational thing? A lot of the old world value's have been in the decline for some time.

Joined: 5/18/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

Ex boyfreind/girlfriend and living with your new partner... Posted: 5/26/2009 11:29:29 AM
In another thread people are talking about should you stay friends with an Exboyfriend or Exgirlfriend.. Not no, but hell no. This is an invitation to disaster later on. Particuarly if one ex still has feelings for the other, even if the other does not.

Joined: 5/18/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

What Ive discovered about the living at home issue Posted: 5/26/2009 9:09:17 AM
Sorry, I've dated men who lived at home w/parents over and over and over again. What I found in each one is lack of responsibility. These guys want everyone else to pay their way, borrow someone else's car, and take it from someone who has 2 children by them, they don't take parental responsibility either--Grandma does!! Men out on there own seem to have some reponsibility cause no one else is going to pay their bills for them. That's a bit of an assumption. Right now, I'm living at home, but not by choice, and i certainly have no intention of staying here much longer now that i'm almost back on my feet. Why am i living at home right now? Because i ended a 7 year relationship with a parasitic woman who, as it turns out, could not do anything for herself. ( I was going to pop the question at the 4th year, but when creditors started calling i thought better of it. ) I paid for just about everything because she was not responsible, and could not manage her finances. My biggest mistake was sticking around as long as i did, hoping she'd snap out of it. That day never came, so i packed my stuff and i left. So where's a man who's was dragged down into the financial gutter because of his partner supposed to go?

Joined: 5/18/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

How do you get over someone you love?and begin to move on? Posted: 5/23/2009 8:32:58 AM
How do you get over someone you love?and begin to move on? Time and distance.... and LOTS of it. Don't stay friends (worst mistake you could possibly make), don't remince, don't keep pictures, gifts, etc. Put it all in a box, and put it out of sight. Out of sight, out of mind. Given enough time, without any reminders lingering around, eventually the wound will heal. You may have a deep running scar, but the wound will have healed eventually.

Joined: 5/18/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

how do u know when to let go Posted: 5/22/2009 11:29:00 AM
im am separted from my husband for like the 25th time.an no thats no joke .he has been leavin me ever sence the night after our weddin an it always for hes older ex. Please don't take this the wrong way, but, well, i heard it best put in this context: Getting back together with an ex is a lot like going to the fridge for a glass of milk, and saying to yourself, "Hmm, this milk is sour... well, maybe tommorrow it will be fresh", and then putting the milk back into the fridge .

Joined: 5/18/2009

Msg: 1092 (view)

Ever feel like your going to be alone forever? Posted: 5/22/2009 10:22:53 AM
Ever feel like your going to be alone forever? 44 pages i'd say is a pretty solid consensus on, a "yup" answer on that. Except for a time frame of 7 years when i was with the wrong person , i have been alone all of my life. Yup, that 7 year relationship was me taking the first thing that came along. When your always alone, its a hard not to make that mistake. The thought of being alone forever, is a really hard one to swallow, but as time goes on, it is a thought that is inescapable. I think the thing that bugs me most, is when people say, "there's someone for everyone out there" or "for every jack there is a jill" or "you always find them when your not looking", i think all that is a load of horse crap. It's just something people tell themselves or their friends so they don't lose hope, when maybe, thats precisely what you need to do when your alone. My thought is this, and its flying in the face of Murphy's Law. IF (yeah, big if), it's really true that you always find them when your not looking, then the only way you'll really stop looking, is if you truly believe there's nothing out there, and nothing in it for you. Sound really pessimistic i know. Along these lines, ive been struggling with this thought for many years now. That thought being, "For some people, some things are simply not meant to be". I think the sooner i can finally accept that, the happier I'll be. I'm pretty close to it, and i'm just starting to not care anymore. Nobody said life was fair, and thats just how it is. Now there's two sides to this coin: Heads: If it's really true you find them when your not looking, i guess you'll find out first hand, and be honest with yourself about it. Sometimes even when your not looking, your looking, because you still hope. When you finally let go, you truly won't be looking. Tails: On the other hand at least you have the satisfaction of not having BS'ed yourself and have stopped waiting around and wasting your time on something that isn't going to happen. Life goes on. Now despite what i just said, there isn't any harm in keeping a profile up. I think finding someone is a lot like playing the lottery. Your chances of winning the lottery are a fraction of a percent, but if you want to win, you have to play. "Playing" in this context, is simply keeping a profile up in case all hell freezes over, trumpets sound, the sky falls, and the apocalypse is at hand.

Joined: 5/18/2009

Msg: 152 (view)

How come we all get so picky after 30? Posted: 5/22/2009 12:29:55 AM
[qutoe]I think we get pickier because when we are in our 20's we are out to have fun. When we get older we are looking for "love", and someone to settle down with... Speak for yourself, i was wanting to settle down with someone in my 20's. As for being picky, i don't think i am, i just don't want to repeat past mistakes.

Joined: 5/18/2009

Msg: 28 (view)

Hitting 30 in less than a couple months! Posted: 5/22/2009 12:16:00 AM
From my experience, being in your early 30's isn't all that different from being 29. 30 just seems like a changing point because its a digital rollover. I know this is a generalization, but i don't think something starts clicking in their heads until they hit 33 or 34. By 35 something should start changing upstairs, at least it did for me when i realized that 40 wasn't that far away after all. But again, those are just generalizations, realistically, every gender has its late bloomers, and some people never mature at all regardless of age.

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