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1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 20 (view)

Need some advice about a guy I am falling for Posted: 11/25/2009 5:33:52 PM
Hi Stace, After reading your posts and pondering I will offer up this bit of advice. Don't ask him how he feels about you. Enjoy what you feel. Enjoy the time you spend with him in class. If everything is perfect and the world disappears when you look into his eyes, it is magical. I have found, from experience, the magic is like a bubble and it bursts when we try to hold on, force it or over analyze it. jmo. Good luck.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

What Would You Do?! Posted: 11/23/2009 1:51:32 PM
"Mom, Dad this is ________. We're just enjoying a few drinks and a nice meal while we wait for the red flags to start popping up. Do you have any coupons?" The second and third sentences are optional and my sarcasm again. Whether you went into more detail at the time is your choice.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Man asks woman to go to his home after dinner on first date Posted: 11/22/2009 7:41:11 PM
I am thinking if he sensed you were upset by the invitation, and, he appeared uncomfortable, his intentions were on the up and up. Further analysis would suggest to me he was disappointed and let down also.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 165 (view)

What is the best way to handle it if a date passes gas? Posted: 11/21/2009 7:31:56 PM
I am thinking humor would be the best way to quell the embarassment. Some plagerized suggestions: -good one and I had my mouth open -foochie capesta my eyes are burning -someone sit on a duck - I can name that tune in one note The stink, I'm not too sure. Glade, Lysol, potpourri, fresh cut lilacs, lily of the valley.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 31 (view)

People, why against the rocking chair on the porch? Posted: 11/19/2009 8:08:36 PM
Sounds like I'm gonna need a lot more ammo! I've got to leave the comforts of the porch to get a bigger gun from the cabinet.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 23 (view)

People, why against the rocking chair on the porch? Posted: 11/19/2009 7:14:29 PM
I would have to say that some days I am up for some dragon slaying and others give me the porch, a rocking chair or swing and a good dog to pet the hair off. I am fortunate enough to live part time in the country where I can slay varmints right from the porch. Please pass the ammo.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 27 (view)

cheating, how prevalent is it? Posted: 11/15/2009 9:20:02 PM
Are you the new gardener at the Playboy Mansion?

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 39 (view)

Engagement rings for men? Posted: 11/12/2009 3:52:21 PM
Engagement rings for men......hmmm. As long as 3 months salary are spent on it. The boys could sit around after the hockey game, sipping Bud and ooh and aah over the size of the rock.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 61 (view)

YOU NEED THERAPY! Posted: 10/12/2009 9:57:24 AM
I have participated in therapy. It was nothing like I expected. It didn't fix me but helped me identify the difference in the feelings I experience. There was no one telling me what to do, who to dump, how to fix. It taught me how to try to change thought patterns and processes that were mine. It made me realize that other people can't make me feel anything. It's all me.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 152 (view)

Why are there so many abusive people, and is there hope for them? Posted: 10/11/2009 1:37:48 PM
Miss Contemplative, Re message 149. [One thing I find particularly troubling is the underestimation of women's capacity to abuse men. Sadly, many of their mechanisms go unnoticed and the men suffer silently for shame that they were not "strong enough" to handle her manipulations. You want to talk about sexual abuse? I've seen women use sex as a means of controlling men. I have seen men literally tortured by very diabolical females who are nothing short of predatory in how they emotionally blackmail their victim. I've seen horrible mothers deny a good man his children when the issue was never his. All she needs to do is cry some form of abuse, real of fictitious, and people will question him and absolve her. It's infuriating to watch her at some shelter absolving herself of having thrown that chair at him because "he was going at me again" or many such excuses for acting AS brutally as a male abuser would. I've seen women use crying as a way to manipulate men into not confronting them about their own abusive tendencies. I've seen women clean out guy's bank accounts, leave him coming home from work with no furniture left (keep in mind the guy has worked many years and contributed to the home and relationship) and all she has to do is cry some lame story that he neglected her or abused her in some way and society coddles her. Meanwhile her male counterpart hurts in silence if he's not fortunate enough to have good friends and family he can rely on to get him through (usually she has isolated him from them too)...BUT, if a man is an adult, it is time for him to put his "big boy" pants on and get the hell out of such relationships. Staying and then using that sob story to get you into and out of every future relationship is inexcusably weak minded of him IMO. I have many sweet female friends but I have had the displeasure of being raised by one such woman and I can't believe the shit she got away with. Even to this day, no one has held her accountable for the damage she did to our lives, to my father (God rest his soul) and to my siblings. I however, have no intention of enabling it further. ] one word for you. BRAVO!!!!!!

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

You have an Amazing way with Words. But can you hold a Conversation? Posted: 8/3/2009 9:55:06 AM
With proflies and e mails there is spell check and the opportunity to tweak and edit. Phone conversation is live. For myself I would have to say I would speak more eloquently in written text that verbal conversation. As far as experiences at the pond, some received messages have been great while others short. Less than 10 words. No phone experiences from here so I can't speak on that.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 26 (view)

Does this drive all men nuts? Posted: 7/30/2009 10:18:56 PM
[It takes so very little to make a woman feel good,] hmmmm.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

What's the issue? Posted: 7/29/2009 7:07:31 PM
Some people don't always act on their feelings of attraction. Hypothetical example: An art lover is a fan of Da Vinci. He or she is standing in front of the Mona Lisa. They are feeling awestruck. They don't have to pry the painting off the wall. They can look and walk away. JMO

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 32 (view)

First things you look at in a profile HONESTLY! Posted: 7/26/2009 9:35:03 PM
Pics, location, age. If I am interested I read from top to bottom.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 31 (view)

why are women surprised when you do what they ask Posted: 7/25/2009 10:37:46 PM
An appropriate response to her question "Because I was respecting your boundaries." To your question ... minds and thoughts do get changed. It is confusing.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 66 (view)

Does Anyone Check Out The Competition? Posted: 7/25/2009 10:08:56 PM
I must confess that I do. However, only after I see a comment made in a post about a great profile, or if the guy has funny posts, or if the guy writes a ridiculing page long response to something I've posted. Physiques, appearances etc. not at all. Can't do anything about that so I just play the hand that I was dealt.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 100 (view)

A connection between personality and how one treats their pets?? Posted: 7/23/2009 3:58:43 PM
I would think there would be a correlation. I know I lose some patience with pets if they don't listen but feel bad if I have to discipline them. I'm more of a scolding/guilt tripping type. No rolled up newspapers. My leg has been sexually assaulted by a few dogs over the years.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 624 (view)

Why do men have affairs? Posted: 7/17/2009 11:23:43 PM
I am thinking happens for a couple of reasons. One is that we act on our feelings of attraction. We talk to someone mayhaps about personal things and we are not judged, put down or criticised. There is acceptance and attention being paid to us. Effectively, nurturing, I would suggest. An emotional bond is made. There are no real life issues getting in the way of the feeling of attraction. Our spirit is freed. Then if the partner is willing we choose to carry it further. It does boil down to a choice though.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Emotionally Unavailable = Scared Posted: 7/14/2009 10:39:42 AM
Hi Caramel, I can only speak for myself. Darn tootin there is fear. Fear of emotional hurts, labels, judgements. Emotions can be both good and not so good. Don't think one goes without the other. In real life and relationships I have found it isn't all harp music and rose petals. There are thorns also. Take care.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

Let's talk about.............................. Posted: 7/12/2009 4:34:45 PM
I believe passion comes from digging deeper into oneself. My best example would be the difference between NHL playoff hockey and regular season games. Come the Stanley Cup finals there are players doing things they wouldn't do normally because they are playing with their hearts. It comes from the heart and I would think it would manifest itself when there is no fear.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 106 (view)

lack of emotion Posted: 6/19/2009 7:36:30 AM
Thanks odarby. Hey Chuckles, I'm back from my feminine side! I think it is pretty tough to understand something, especially emotions, unless you have experienced them. I read a few of your posts. They seem to be long and , in my opinion, you may like to hear yourself talk. Feel pretty safe behind the computer? Have a lot of time on your hands? [Learn to distinguish and identify your feelings. Find out where in your body you feel them. Allow yourself to feel.] OK, my arms and legs are getting warm and there is an internal quivering. I recognise that as anger. Now, I need to control what I am doing with the energy. I can : a) Go do some push ups and realise the energy will go away. b) Get my passport and a plane ticket and toss my chiffon gown into a valise and wing my way to Ohio or would you be man enough to meet me in Montana? South Dakota? The logical side of me says don't waste my energy or money.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 103 (view)

Hallmark Posted: 6/18/2009 12:50:51 PM
not at this time !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 100 (view)

lack of emotion Posted: 6/17/2009 9:42:14 PM
Learn to distinguish and identify your feelings. Find out where in your body you feel them. Allow yourself to feel. Learn how to verbalize and combine with eye contact to show authenticity. Learn to control what you do with the energy you feel.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 32 (view)

feelings Posted: 6/14/2009 8:51:57 PM
I suggest you try to replace the lust and guilt with pride. You allowed yourself to feel the feeling but didn't do anything physcial. I think that is something you can be proud of. This is one thing about committed relationships and why I think so many of them fail. There is expectation that there will only be attraction the the SO. Lust is pretty sweet though. I've felt that. Caring deeply for someone is sweeter though. I've felt that too. Way better than lust.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 97 (view)

Compliments, being a gentlemen and other forgotton traits.. Posted: 6/14/2009 8:40:04 PM
I hold a door open not just for women but for anyone who happens to be close to walking through when I am there. Heck I've held it open for several minutes where there is a crowd going through. It feels good to put someone else ahead of me, however, not all the time. It is called giving. I think society has lost focus on what giving is. Giving is something where you don't expect anything in return. The compliment thing. I've read somewhere that a child who grows up with criticism learns how to criticise. Received lots of that throughout my life. I will pay a compliment where there is one due. I find compliments can embarass people, including myself. I have had them used to try to manipulate me and seen them used for that purpose. I probably am guilty of that at one time or another. I know I get complacent with the compliments. I guess my mentality is if I told you once that should be good enough. I think complacency comes with familiarity and comfort. Sort of like after the honeymoon phase.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 16 (view)

F U V M...??? Posted: 6/14/2009 7:23:42 PM
found under vehicles mostly.......? Like an oil slick. Smooth. or after being run over

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

F U V M...??? Posted: 6/14/2009 7:20:54 PM
found under vehicles mostly.......? Like an oil slick. Smooth.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 33 (view)

Just say hi Posted: 6/14/2009 3:33:11 PM
Looking them in the eyes and saying hi is a good start. I have felt energies with these connections that I can't explain. It depends on what your agenda is with them. Things you could say: Is that 4 inches or 5 inches of cleavage you got going there. Things you could say: I figured I'd say hi cause you are getting harder to keep up to at night from a block away. Those above 2 line are in jest. I reserve the right not to accept consequences for them shall they be used. I have actually used this following line on here: I am apprenticing to become a dirty old man in my retirement years. I need to get some time in talking to younger ladies. This line hasn't gotten me any dates but I have gotten favorable and LMAO responses. Women do like to laugh.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 66 (view)

I need a man's opinion Posted: 6/13/2009 8:39:35 PM
Maybe he isn't thinking or feeling anything. Maybe his being quiet is just him being content. He contacts you in some way every day. He is an excellent lover. Some men say how they feel without words, in the bedroom. It is your choice whether to continue to see him or not. I want to get sarcastic here but I shan't.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 48 (view)

Two gether Posted: 6/13/2009 8:26:18 PM
As long as boundaries are set that she doesn't bring her guys home and you don't bring your gals home things should work out fine.Top shelf in the fridge is yours and one salad drawer. Post dated rent cheques. Bon chance.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 20 (view)

Do you avoid contacting wealthy guys or gals? Posted: 6/13/2009 4:19:51 PM
For this reason I dress down. I don't want people to know that I am a multi- thousandaire. Seriously, I haven't seen anyone state they are wealthy but would probably shy away from them if they were to state it in words. I have seen some profiles which I have judged as high maintenance. Shy away from them too. Yes, my shallowness is rearing it's unattractive head again.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 23 (view)

That Dreaded Awkward Silence And What to Say or Do Posted: 6/13/2009 1:02:32 PM
My apologies. Yankees? Red Sox? Blue Jays!!!!!!!!!!!!

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

That Dreaded Awkward Silence And What to Say or Do Posted: 6/13/2009 7:06:37 AM
"How about those Met's" comes to mind.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 31 (view)

been there Posted: 6/13/2009 6:48:38 AM
Hey Mike, Great post. I can relate. I've been sober 15 years. That would make me 29 years old in "emotion years". I've experience some internal things that make say WTF. The Serenity Prayer helps lots too. Take care.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 62 (view)

So why are u single we all have are storys!?!?! Posted: 6/12/2009 8:22:13 PM
read Message 25, Dating and Love Advice- subject - Sweet Guy, Low Income or Abusive Guy, High Income this is another reason why I am single

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 60 (view)

So why are u single we all have are storys!?!?! Posted: 6/12/2009 6:43:16 PM
I am single because I am free to feel emotion. I am single because I don't have to ask permission. I am single because I can be a little goofy and don't have to worry about embarrasing my mate. I am single because I can walk the path less chosen. I am single because I don't want to hurt people. I am single because I don't want to be hurt. I am single because I have a hard time with trust. I am single because I may be too picky. I am single because I like myself.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 59 (view)

why did he.... Posted: 6/12/2009 3:31:23 PM
You can get pregnant from sperm transmitted in the lubrication that is emitted from the penis during intercourse. USE A CONDOM AND BIRTH CONTROL. STDs. USE A CONDOM. Sex is not intimacy. USE YOUR HEAD.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 54 (view)

Fickle Posted: 6/12/2009 3:03:01 PM
If he were to have put a notice on his profile that he had met someone and his "line is out of the water" would you have felt the same way if he came back after 2 months? I am in big trouble if I can't communicate with more than one woman on here. I will be putting a disclaimer on my profile momentarily.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 48 (view)

Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay? Posted: 6/12/2009 2:46:23 PM
[or they just suck in bed] As a flaming heterosexual, and according to the handbook, aren't we supposed to suck in bed. Lick also.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 34 (view)

Ladies: first kiss - do you prefer a guy to ask permission or take initiative & just do it? Posted: 6/11/2009 9:26:47 PM
RandomDrew your post was funny

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 74 (view)

Why women want guys to come to THEM Posted: 6/11/2009 8:16:41 AM
Pioneer Valley Woman, Did you feel any kind of attraction to this gentleman who was trying to flirt. I am assuming you didn`t make any kind of eye contact as you were doing your research. Life gets to be too busy where we don`t take time to stop and smell the roses or to look up and see see the spirit. There are connections made every day that people miss. It seems communication is lacking too. If I say that I am attracted to a woman does she hear I want to sleep with her. That is like me saying the sky is blue and her hearing that I want to be an astronaut.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 122 (view)

why do alot of men just want to play games with your heart!! Posted: 6/10/2009 8:03:59 PM
kcjoy - message 16 Very good advice. No heart games. No testing.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 420 (view)

WHY ARE MEN SO MEAN Posted: 6/10/2009 7:23:20 PM
[there is no warranty with life in a relationship] Wouldn't it be nice if there was a warranty. ........ and if things don't work out each of you will maintain their self esteem , there will be no pain or loss of trust. All items purchased under the compromise clause will be returned for a full refund. The knowledge gained from the relationship can be kept as special gift to you.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 419 (view)

WHY ARE MEN SO MEAN Posted: 6/10/2009 7:01:56 PM
[she won't even see the kids don't pay child support nothing what does that make her] If she were a man it would be referred to as "deadbeat dad"

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 818 (view)

How can men stop having feelings so quickly? Posted: 6/10/2009 2:20:00 PM
We haven't identified the difference. I know there is a difference now. However, when I feel hurt I get angry because I feel hurt.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

Jaded... Posted: 6/10/2009 7:18:28 AM
Original poster I think.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

Jaded... Posted: 6/9/2009 10:01:07 PM
My take is you are having a difficult time making yourself vulnerable. With the DJing and the men who I am thinking would be hitting on you, your guard on your emotions is up. This is just my opinion.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

Explain why this happens,for ten pints??lol Posted: 6/9/2009 5:12:16 PM
Some men are scared of intimacy. Speaking for myself it is nice to have but once tasted and taken away it is painful. Once bitten twice shy. A lady friend of mine said if men had children they would only have one because they couldn't handle the pain the second time around. I find the emotional pain to be worse.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 299 (view)

guns Posted: 6/7/2009 7:46:18 AM
I have seen a couple of profiles on here where the ladies were using guns. I actually contacted one of them. I would be more concerned with a picture of someone with a chainsaw and a goalie mask.

1_toe_in_water

Joined: 5/20/2009

Msg: 97 (view)

The fine line between friendly and too friendly - where does the favour end? Posted: 6/5/2009 9:54:08 PM
That is bizarre. You had the remote control didn't ya. Never take the remote control. Never,never,never!!!!!!

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