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Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 18 (view)

Rudeness? Posted: 8/27/2009 3:09:43 AM
Just playing devils advocate here but what if it wasn't meant to be rude? Don't get me wrong it does read as rude but someone who perhaps didn't think it through and hadn't realised how it would come across. It is possible to read it as "Good luck on here buddy" so far so good and then "You'll need it" :P meant in humour. If they've had bad experiences with dating, have only met strange people on the site or have just interacted with too many wierdos. Its possible that in messed up English, reading between the line the message says - I like your profile, you seem nice, I hope you meet someone nice, but its hard out there, a lot of strange folk about. I could be completely wrong but its another way to look at the message and a far nicer way at that.

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

does texting make you look needy/clingy Posted: 8/25/2009 9:50:33 AM
I love to text and text a lot. With my current partner it can easily by 50+ a day. Sometimes its a fun way to get through the day, if one of us is busy then there is no response for a while and other times its instant. Sure talking on the phone can be good but I prefer texts and in a way it is a lot more impersonal so I might text something that I couldn't say. Its also great for flirting or forepaly etc before arranging to meet up. If you feel uncomfortable then don't reply, if you are comfortable then send away, it doesn't really mean that you are clingy just enjoy texting. I also go by the rules or taking it in turns to text, if i was to get three replies to one text then I'd think yeah he's keen.

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 16 (view)

Men can you please translate this for me? Posted: 8/23/2009 8:32:02 AM
Hey I'm not a guy either but I am sick of the male bashing on this site from men and women. There's a huge number of guys out there that will move onto another women, however you know him, know his history and does that sound like something he would do to you? If he's known you so long, then he cares enough not to mess you around, he just feels things aren't going the way he wanted or expected them to. I've been in a very similar situation, again someone I knew from high school, never dated, hooked up years later etc etc Same story he dumped me, commitment issues I think but he had no good reason either. Staying friends, don't bother, it just hurts a hell of a lot more. I saw this written somewhere on here, its like putting a band aid on for a day and then ripping it off the next. Truth is, my ex is now back in touch and it looks like we are going to give things another go but this only happened because I moved on. I stopped loving him, went on several dates and with some really nice guys too. Hadn't met anyone serious yet but I was out there looking and feeling happy again. Am I mad to go back the way, yes I am, it likely won't work but I guess I need closure from this. He probably will regret ending things with you, but analysing and waiting only hurts, trust me on this. I tried for months and it was agony and made me miserable. Work on your own life for now, spend time with friends, make new ones and be confident and happy so that if he does decide to try again, he's the one contacting you. From one girl to another and after a 2 year relationship I would advise not going back to him. I am, but I know its not the sensible thing to do unfortunately the heart wants what it wants. Use your head girl and don't make my mistakes. Good luck :)

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 38 (view)

imposssible climax Posted: 8/23/2009 8:05:52 AM
Hey I was 26 before I had my first orgasm through penetration, since then I've learned more and more nad have managed on a number of times since. It really does help to trust your partner implicitly and not feel any pressure to actually orgasm. If I feel like I need to orgasm than generally I can't. Anyway my point is that the first time this was achieved, it was using oral sex until the point of being very close and then penetration, after a couple of minutes it worked to both our surpirse. On top can work but you are also concentrating on what you are doing to stimulate them and on the rythm rather than yourself. What works best for me and this is very lazy but trust me I make up for it. Is to lie on my back, pelvis in an upward position and to let him do all the work and get really close to me each time so you are getting some clitoral stimulation at the same time. With a good rythm, trust and probably quite a fit understanding partner it works well. Failing that you can try this position and use your fingers to help it along. A nice, understanding partner just wants you to climax and its great to time it and do it together. As for taking the pressure of, lose yourself a bit, fantasize if ti helps, close your eyes anything that helps you relax too. Anyway good luck and I hope it works for you. :)

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

A variation of the Friend Zone threads. Posted: 8/18/2009 11:44:05 AM
Hi :) I need to ask is she younger than you, because the behaviour sounds like that of a teenager who just wanted a guy to parade around but didn't actually want you. I've seen it done by girls time and time again but its something people grow out of if they mature. If she's your age then steer well clear because by late 20s/early 30s she should know better. If she was much younger then they she might have grown up a bit but its stil a huge risk to tkae and you can not let history repeat itself. If you've heard about her then she's also heard about you and hasn't been in touch knowing that you are now single. It implies that she never felt the same about you. So I guess only you can answer this thread, it seems silly to get back in touch, makes more sense to get to know other people but if you feel like you need to investigate this route then its up to you.

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

I just moved from the uk. Posted: 8/18/2009 11:32:09 AM
I'm sorry what? I'm in the UK now and I've never heard of Twinkle or Treacle!! Could you explain it to me lol I also personally find Fit or Bird offensive, pumpkin is ok though. Still it implies a great deal of familiarity so if you are going to use them then be prepared to explain them. Don't change your personality or your ways but maybe take it easy to begin with so that you don't unintentionally cause offence or at the very least add (mind if I call you that?) Good luck in the US

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

A question about chemistry Posted: 8/18/2009 11:25:25 AM
I agree with the last post. You did have chemistry on meeting and there was a spark or you wouldn't have got to a date. Her interest just diminished and it happens all the time. You can have the best date ever and the next one nothing. Its nothing personal but ultimately despite the initial attraction you just are not her type. So stop worrying about it there's plenty more girls out there so spend your time looking for a relationship with one of them and not chasing after someone who is taken. One more thing, you mention complimenting your date, its nice sometimes but it can also be overwhelming and enbarassing for some. You should try to keep compliments to a minimum until you know where you stand.

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

My best friend is a girl. How do potential partners perceive that? Posted: 8/17/2009 8:25:42 AM
Its a tricky subject and very much comes down to the individual. My closest friends have always been male and one by one they get into a commited relationship and I see less and less of them. This is mutual though, I take a back step as I don't want to ruin any future and their girlfriends often question them about any history (which I don't have with any of them). I don't mind because I know that I would be a little uncomfortable about this if the shoe was on the other foot. Like the other posts say any person that takes up more of your time could be a potential threat male or female. It will be the same when your mate finds a boyfriend and its a natural progression. In the mean time to try and make them feel more comfortable with it, make a point of introducing them and allow them to bond into a friendship. If that doesn't work then maybe any new girlfriend isn't worth the effort because ultimately you should not have to make any sacrifices only follow what makes you happy.

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Reason Im A Virgin, And Questions For Girls Posted: 8/16/2009 12:37:47 PM
I agree with the other postings, standing by is not a problem. I would however caution bringing this up too soon in a relationship, past issues do bring up questions in any persons mind about entering into a relationship. So meet someone and take things slowly, make it clear that you want to progress slowly and if the girl in question isn't happy to do that then maybe they are not right for you. A girl who is genuinely interested in you will be happy to wait and when you feel comfortable talking to them about it then maybe bring it up then. It can't be easy but trust will be important to both of you, but on the whole it will not be a problem. I don't know any girls who wouldn't understand. Best of luck :)

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

Friendship Does it really work? Posted: 8/16/2009 12:22:05 PM
I base it all on wether they are single or not single/not looking. If it says not looking, then friends really are all they want and if it says single then there is possibly a progression there. My profile says dating but it doesn't mean that a guy emails saying 'fancy going out tonight' that I am going to go, so I build up a friendship first until I feel more comfortable on a date. One guy I met up with, we ended up being nothing more than friends and I'm glad I met him.

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

Is she interested Posted: 8/14/2009 11:56:27 AM
OK hope I can answer this for you. I had an ex partner that kept putting pressure on me to try it but I wasn't interested. Its still an issue for me that I like to get out the way, by guess what. I ask my new partners if they've done ot or like to do it. Without having a discussion about an ex which you don't have when newly dating its hard to explain. Tell her the truth, that you are not really into it but if it means that much to her you'll try. Its a guess but that could be it :)

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

Help Posted: 8/13/2009 6:52:44 AM
I have to say something very similar happened to me too and it was after several dates. All you can do is put it down to experience and move on. If she is still interested she'll be in touch. In the mean time let it go and good luck :)

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

Guys 18-29 years old screwed in PoF? Posted: 8/11/2009 3:39:15 PM
I would say that between the ages of 18 to 28 people are going out more and meeting single people all the time so there's no real need to join a dating website unless maybe you are too shy to approach someone. or they've recently moved and don't know anyone. I joined because all my friends paired off and got settled in jobs so its harder to meet new people and most the guys I've spoken too on here are in the same boat. Not sure if this helps at all but there might not be as many for that reason. Good luck in your search :)

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

She asked for a kiss..... Posted: 8/11/2009 4:46:35 AM
Ok lol this one is quite funny, she asked for a kiss it means one of two things - 1. She asked for it to be on the cheek as she didn't want to take things any further with you 2. She was liking you so much that she wanted to get physical and that was the most innocent thing to request If its the first one she'll politely decline a second date, if its the second then she's probably already decided that you're not interested and will be pretty down about the fact you haven't called. So yeah just like everyone else says, get on that phone NOW

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

Is she interested Posted: 8/11/2009 4:30:47 AM
I don't think you can tell about any of this stuff until you meet. I've met a couple of guys that I was really interested in and when we met instant friend zone. Its nothing personal and nothing to do with anything they said or did I just didn't feel any attraction and I don't think they did either. So ask to meet her, you've done enough running around already, if she doesn't want to meet then leave it to her to ask you when she feels up to it. If she's interested she'll make the effort you've done more than enough already.

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 120 (view)

He is 32 and lives at home? Posted: 8/2/2009 3:42:23 PM
Hi Op Just to let you know the example I used about my friend who is 30 and lives at home but is moving in with his girlfriend soon. I thought you'd be interested to know that he just proposed to her. So there is a happy ending it really does just take the right person. Let me know if you ever met this guy I am quite curious about how it went. :)

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Do girls have backups? Posted: 8/2/2009 4:38:24 AM
I've been in a relationship and been handed numbers. I also kept the numbers and never called but I liked having them its a little ego boost for when you need it. It wasn't for back up purposes or to make my bf jealous as I knew if we broke up I wouldn't be ready but it was a compliment to be given them and a nice keepsake. I wouldn't hold out much hope but good for you for asking her out, not so good to give her your number when you knew she was taken. Because now you are wondering about it, the game will likely last longer than any potential future with this girl.

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 21 (view)

Starting to hate women........ Posted: 7/10/2009 5:56:48 AM
Well I'm sure you input was great appreciated by the OP. My mother taught me if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all. I'm sure you have lots of fun replying to up to twenty guys a night who send such endearing statements like "you wanna date wiv me" or "I like looking at u", so please carry on being polite, get them interested and then back out because you never were. Good luck with that because men love to be led on. I've actually spoken with male friends about this and they would rather have no response than to be led up a path where they will just be wasting their time. Some girls are happy to talk to many many men but I'm not one of them and I'd rather have no reply than "sorry your just not my type". OP when you do email someone please put some effort in its good for your personality to shine through and like I said before try not to take a non response personally. Every person is different and the right kind of girl who will email back will show a genuine interest in you.

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

I feel lost... Posted: 7/10/2009 5:47:18 AM
I agree with Miska, the problem with meeting up with someone through this website is that most people are looking for something. I do believe though that if a guy was really interested then they will wait and take it slow too. Its good though that you have got yourself out there. It shows that you can attract guys no problem so when the time is ready I'm confident that you will find someone right for you. If a guy can't be patient and understanding at the start of a relationship then its unlikely they will be when you are actually in one so it was probably for the best. Perhaps just try socialising with your friends and having some fun without a guy being involved. Normally when you stop looking is when you find them. :)

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Has this ever happend to anyone eals? Posted: 7/9/2009 7:35:11 PM
This happened to a male friend of mine too, he was with a girl for about 4 years too and then she broke up with him and started seeing a girl. It did knock his confidence but he moved on and years down the line he's getting ready to propose to his new girlfriend. I don't think it happens a lot but like some of the other posts say it is difficult for some people to admit to themselves the sexuality that they have. I don't doubt that she probably loved you as much as she could any man but if its not right for you its just not right so she moved on. You are lucky in a way that you found out now it could have gone on for years longer. I'd also suggest that you take a step back from her, you can possibly be friends some way down the line but in the mean time concentrate on yourself and stop being around her. It will just remind you of what you have lost.

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Starting to hate women........ Posted: 7/9/2009 7:20:36 PM
Hi OP I'm really sorry that you feel that way but I do wonder if you are dating the wrong kind of women too. Sure you've been hurt and let down but trust me there are just as many women out there saying the exact same thing. As for some not responding to emails it could be for many reasons and doesn't have to be anything personal. I often don't respond to people as they just don't seem my type or perhaps I'm already conversing with someone that I find more interesting. All I can say is chin up and when the time is right you will find each other. Good Luck

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

I feel lost... Posted: 7/9/2009 7:10:26 PM
Hey coco Unfortunately every person is different with how long it takes them to get over a person. I'm sure he treated you well while he was interested but in the end he treated you appallingly and thats the part you have to focus on. You are on here so that is a start, it might be you haven't moved on as you've had no one else to focus on. Have you tried dating anyone else? If not then I would give it a go, some dates might not go well but if you stick at it someone better than your ex will come along. There are some great guys out there you just haven't found them yet. You don't have to rush into a relationship, the beauty of dating is that you can take them all as fast or as slow as suits yourself. If its a concern for you then just tell your date you'd like to progress things slowly. You won't instantly get over him but when you meet the right person then I guarantee he'll start to fade from you mind. Good luck and take care :)

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Approaching a woman - Opinions please. Posted: 7/7/2009 5:54:20 AM
Hey OP Approaching someone is difficult but you are a fit good looking guy so I wouldn't worry too much. Next time you are out, try making eye contact with someone and smile. Once you've done that and they are interested they will look out for you. If you manage to exchange a few smiles then go over and say hello, introduce yourself and just try chatting. Only if you get chatting offer them a drink. Its always a little creepy if a complete stranger walks up to you and says "can I buy you a drink?" That would work for me anyway :)

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

a little help girls Posted: 7/7/2009 3:59:38 AM
Much better, I like it. Good luck :)

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

do women in there 30's just come on stronger naturally? Posted: 7/6/2009 3:40:34 PM
Its probably because its early days, it doesn't mean the dynamic won't change. When you are in a full on relationship with someone its hard to ask some of the more revealing questions or to be upfront and honest about what you want because by that time you are emotionally invested. It might just be easier for her to get everything that she is looking for out in the open so that if it is going to scare you off then its before she can get too hurt. Thats my take on it anyway, if she's the one choosing where to meet, what to drink, which film to watch, band to see then maybe she is overbearing. But if she is saying I want this, this and that from a relationship then she might just be protecting herself. Hope this helps.

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

a little help girls Posted: 7/6/2009 3:31:03 PM
Hey Robert Here's a few reasons why I would not contact you. You say you are looking for a girl thats into fitness, I don't think there are many of them on this website. It suggests that you are looking for an athletic size 8/10 and most 20 something girls don't have the body confidence to say hey thats me, I'm fit. Secondly fix the grammar I,m should be I'm, its a silly mistake but it brings your intelligence into question at an initial stage. Lastly you said that you are a man not a girl, don't like pink, girly mags and that you don't want someone the same. It contradicts what you've already said about looking for someone like you and I am a girl, I'm not that fond of pink and never buy girly mags. Its actually a little bit stereotypical. Some of it is good, the part about the kind of person you are looking for is good just put some cheerful enthusiasm and humour into the rest. One other tip is that I rarely contact anyone, they always find me. So rather than wait to be contacted have a look to see what you like and send them a message but put a bit of effort in. I never reply to people saying "how are you" etc. Try saying Hi, my name is Robert. I liked your profile and aske them some questions about themselves. Good luck :)

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 16 (view)

do women in there 30's just come on stronger naturally? Posted: 7/6/2009 3:11:27 PM
Well I just turned 30 and yes I am different from when I was even 26, no time for time wasters. Like Raever said you are more comfortable with who you are and what you are looking for. There is a difference between going for what you want and being over powering though. It really depends on what you a refering to, I'm curious to know what circumstance caused you to ask the question.

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

Why does a guy say you might get back together when breaking up? Posted: 7/5/2009 7:22:38 AM
I'm looking for a guys opinion on this because its happened to me recently and as far as I can tell it just prolongs the agony. Is it a cowardly response because he thinks it'll make the breakup easier? Does he really believe its a possibility because surely we wouldn't be breaking up then? The reason he said we were breaking up is because "He's not in the right place". We agreed we'd move on and see what happens in the future. 2 weeks later- I posted on facebook that I was going to see Transformers, he instantly text asking if that was my way of telling him I had a date? I explained that it wasn't and him contacting me is a problem if we are trying to move on. He said it was my fault as I am friends with his friends so I removed them all from my contacts. Another 2 weeks and nothing and I'm so tempted to contact him again. please guys what do you think of this situation, is it worth giving him a call or is it a genuine breakup and I should try to forget? I just don't understand why a man can't say I care about you but its never going to work out!

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

Need help Don't want to screw this up!!! Posted: 6/4/2009 6:41:11 PM
Sounds to me like she likes you and is trying to sound you it. Its possible her boyfriend may not know about you or is suspicious and she doesn't want you to meet. If she is trying to get you into bed though she should really finish with her boyfriend as there is obviously a problem there or she wouldn't spend so much time with you. Be careful though the other issue could be that she thinks you are in to her and is flirting to boost her own self esteem because her boyfriend isn't. Next time she does it, I'd confront her and see how she reacts. Good luck

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 46 (view)

Some help me make sence of this Posted: 6/4/2009 5:59:35 PM
Change your number Josh, its not hard. She's just messing with your head, take control of your life and cut her off. If she calls don't answer etc. You'll never be able to live your life otherwise

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 26 (view)

IS HE OVER IT??? Posted: 6/4/2009 5:53:39 PM
If its still bothering you then maybe talk about it with him, he'd understand if the positions were reversed and cheating will pretty much put the nail in any coffin. If you approach it casually and maybe just say that you like him, don't want to get hurt and is he sure he's over his ex? If you can't do that then just go with the flow and give him a chance. In answer to your earlier question I wouldn't be on here if I wa still with my guy but I had two happy years with him and I'm still hopeful of a reconciliation.

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

IS HE OVER IT??? Posted: 6/3/2009 4:43:30 PM
Well I can't speak for your friend but chances are he's moved onto you because he is over it. If it helps I came out of a 6.5 year relationship and fell head over heels in love with someone else two weeks later. It sounds sudden but by the time you've been with someone that long and it was drawn out and painful he won't look back. If he's still in touch then beware but if its only fleeting then it could be good. Incidently my ex also moved on within a month of us breaking up and is still with the same girl 3 years down the line. Once its over, its over as long as he has accepted it. Hope this helps :)

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 47 (view)

He is 32 and lives at home? Posted: 6/3/2009 11:53:55 AM
I still disagree, one of my closest friends fits this category but isn't like any of the men you describe. He doesn't need a mummy and he's not tight. Always first, second and last to buy the drinks at a bar. He's a gentleman who will make sure that everyone gets home safe and as I said before he's about to move in with his girlfriend (who used to be my flatmate). She can't cook, barely cleans, is terrible with money but is trying to learn. My friend on the other hand can do all of the above, he was just waiting to meet the right person. The guy you are talking about also said he was waiting to meet the right person so you never know it could be you. If he is tight, weak etc then move on but at least you'll know but if you like him whats stopping you?

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 20 (view)

He is 32 and lives at home? Posted: 6/2/2009 12:35:28 PM
I have to say I disagree with many of these postings. So he's never left home, he's never felt a reason to. I have many male friends of around 30 who've never felt the need to leave yet, they are all laid back and enjoy their social life and perhaps don't feel the need to put themselves through the stress of running a household. One of them is about to move in with his girlfriend the others haven't met the right person yet but I am sure they will. Give it some time you never know you might be the right girl and I wouldn't let a social status hang up stop you. Besides if he has no bills to pay he might be able to treat you once in a while I say give it a chance or at least ask yourself whats the bigger regret?

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

Something I've Been Pondering Posted: 6/2/2009 11:53:49 AM
I agree with many of the other posts its all about your frame of mind. If you enter into a relationship looking for failure then you will find it. As for age and kids it could be an issue for a person of any age you don't have to be in your thirties or equally you could be in your thirties and never have met the right person yet. I think many people do pair off at a younger age leaving us singles less to choose from but depressingly or not depending on your view point many people grow up and these relationships break down possibly making it easier to find a like minded person with similar issues that you can then share with each other.

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 41 (view)

Some help me make sence of this Posted: 5/31/2009 4:16:57 AM
Hey Josh. Good for you, its the first step forward and if you keep it up you'll start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Just don't let her waste anymore of your time, keep taking control of your own life and I promise you will start to feel happier again. Good luck :)

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 20 (view)

Dumped but still in contact need advice? Posted: 5/28/2009 6:07:42 AM
Thank you itsmillertime6227 I think maybe your right, I really do want to work things out and I'm prepared to do it on his terms I'm just getting really frustrated with the lack of communication. Plus every girl I know's attitude is just that he either wants you or doesn't, give him an ultimatum. But then maybe they are dating guys like the one above who would have his cake and eat it. He is quite deep and likes to think things through its me who likes everything sorted and in its place. next time we talk I promise to listen and discuss, I think thats were I've been going wrong so thank you. As for the earlier post about the marriage proposal, I can understand it from both points of view, its scary for a woman getting to a certain age and watching your youth slip by while every other person is coupled up and happy. You get a bit desparate just to know that you are taken seriously and that why we as woman push for some kind of commitment. If I followed all my friends advice which is probably what your girlfriend did I would be saying its all or nothing too. They keep telling me that even if he runs for the hills he'll realise his mistake and come back. I know thats not true as forcing an issue isn't the best plan (this is why I was looking for male advice and a different perspective). Chances are she still loves you (she was wanting to marry you) and thinks that you don't feel the same, she's angry and upset you didn't bend to her demands and rightly put you shouldn't but there's room for manouvre there if you can get her to listen to you and not other people.

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

Dumped but still in contact need advice? Posted: 5/28/2009 3:12:23 AM
He has been out on his own and has rented before he's 30 and smart with two degrees and a lot of student debt. He's trying to save for his own place but keeps helping his parents out with their financial problems. Its a side issue which is why I didn't want to mention it I just didn't want it to look like I was being unreasonable when I asked him to move in with me as he was there all the time anyway. In fact when I asked him to move in he said he'd be happy to contribute financially but he didn't want to take our relationship to that level. Which is where itsmillertime6227 may be right it wasn't what I wanted so I gave him the ultimatum. Move in or move out, I thought he'd broken up with me and he thought I'd broken up with him. It was a strange time and I was so unhappy that I decided to get away and booked to leave.

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 39 (view)

Some help me make sence of this Posted: 5/28/2009 12:22:19 AM
Sorry but I just have one thing to add. You don't use a condom??? She's already caught some nasty stuff, will you be happy when she catches something more deadly and without a care in the world pass it on to you? She's not crazy she's unbelievably stupid and so are you if you continue on this path. Its not just her self destructing its you as well and you need to take control of your own life.

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

Dumped but still in contact need advice? Posted: 5/28/2009 12:08:59 AM
I do appreciate a different take on things and I thought I had been patient I just don't know how much longer I should wait if that is the case. Its not that I don't want to wait its more that its hurting me with every passing moment and what the other guys say seem to make sense. There's two things which might clear things up a bit. First one is that the moment we got together he said he would be leaving to go to and live in Japan and that he wouldn't continue our relationship once he did this. I offered to go with him but it wasn't what he envisioned. (Since my return he's changed his tune and said he could see himself travelling as a couple now but I don't know if he means me or not). The other thing is that when I asked him to move in he spent more than 90% of his time in my flat anyway so when my flat mate was moving out it seemed a natuaral progression. I was also feeling a bit used as he does not have his own place. In a sense you are right I did say "move in or move out" so when he left I was devastated. I know he felt trapped staying with me but since my return I can tell that he feels more trapped living at home with his family and before anyone criticises he does want his own place but is unable to get a foot in the property market without a good deposit. I've said I'm happy just to date and that I just enjoy sepnding time with him and I still get the "I don't know" answer so I thought I was trying to change to suit him. I'd be interested to know if you still think I'm being selfish or impatient about this.

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Dumped but still in contact need advice? Posted: 5/27/2009 4:45:50 PM
Thanks for all your responses, we'd been planning on meeting up to have a talk at some point so I've pretty much told him that if all he's looking for is a **** buddy there's no point in even talking because its not what I want. Maybe it'll push him in the right direction and if not then its time to move on and maybe find someone nice on this website. Thanks again :)

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

Dumped but still in contact need advice? Posted: 5/27/2009 3:50:37 PM
Hi there, I'm new to this site and was looking for some male perspective. After being in a relationship for over 2 years we broke up when I asked him to move in with me, we eventually got back together but by this point I'd booked a 6 month volunteering experience in Asia. It was hard to leave but I didn't want the opportunity to pass me by. I stayed in touch mainly via email but his responses weren't as frequent as I thought they ought to be and when we spoke he said he didn't feel as close to me. Eventually after I'd been gone 3 months he broke up with me saying he was finding things too hard and he still loved me but wasn't in love anymore. When I returned two months ago we had an emotional reunion and he told me he had a new girlfriend that he'd started seeing a few weeks earlier but that he hadn't slept with her yet. After exchanging a number a texts and getting into lengthy msn conversations we ended up meeting up again and had sex. He finished things with his girlfriend and said he needed time to fall in love with me again. We've hung out a few times since and we have had sex but mainly when I initiate things. When I ask him whats going on he just keeps saying I don't know, when we talk its mainly on msn its like we both know when we'll be online so we're keeping the contact up but I can't tell if its ever going to go anywhere. He's since told me he only started seeing this girl so I wouldn't return and expect things to be exactly the same. I've been back nearly two months, how much time should he need and what should I do? If I ask to see him its fine but he's not really asking to see me and I'm not sure if I should just accept that it'll probably never work out or am I just underestimating the hurt I caused by leaving. What do you guys think?

Gemini!!

Joined: 5/22/2009

Msg: 31 (view)

Some help me make sence of this Posted: 5/27/2009 3:19:24 PM
Hi Josh You sound like a really lovely guy and like it has been said before a little co-dependant. I've been there myself and to an extent I'll probably always think that I'm not completely worthy of whoever I'm dating. Looks change and it really is personality that is important. I'm sure she is really sweet when she chooses to be but for every nice thing shes ever said it sounds like she's done 10 more things that upset you. Its clearly not good for your health physical or emotional and you have to make some changes. I can understand the difficulty in getting a new number but when you make that step and focus your attention elsewhere you'll be amazed how quickly you can start to feel better. She's the cause of your misery and will never be good for you. I'm sure you still think otherwise but clingning to moments of happiness won't bring you anymore. Let it go, move on and one day you will look back, be a stronger person and meet someone who you can be yourself with but someone who respects who you are and will treat you the way you deserve. Good luck

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