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Thread: Asking a person to change

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 49 (view)

Asking a person to change Posted: 10/22/2007 4:26:33 PM
To OP, have you read up on the signs of how to recognize an abusive peoson? By the way you have described one in your post . Good luck!

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Tell me Tell me D0000 Posted: 10/16/2007 5:22:39 PM
Come on, a one sentence profile? The idea here is , I think 'is to sell yourself. Think of it as a stage and you're the star! Be the real you and come across as interesting. Turn on the spot lights and make them applaude.

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 165 (view)

Would You Disown Members of Your Family?? Posted: 10/14/2007 7:02:18 AM
Seems that disowning is a drastic , maybe an unnecessary reaction to a toxic situation . Might be simpler and better to just remove oneself from a toxic relationship. Disowning just might be called overboard or over reacting. Kind of leaves no opportunity for a future. Never say never. Just use judgement and compassion, both with yourself and others.

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 150 (view)

Question: IS THERE ANY SUCH THING AS AN HONEST WOMAN? Posted: 10/14/2007 6:52:26 AM
You attract what you're familiar with. So if the women you're attracting aren't honest------. Maybe time to recalibrate your attracter.

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Miami Heat Wave - happenings, concerts, clubs, dive trips, boating parties Posted: 10/9/2007 6:44:35 PM
Hey, when I was in the Galveston and Chesapeake Bay area there are "sailing singles" groups. Haven't looked in the so. Fl area to see if there are any chapters . They were fun groups and did a lot of different activities other than sailing. They are pretty open groups, known to down a few beers.

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

Travelers! Give short description of your adventure! Posted: 9/28/2007 3:55:25 PM
Weigh the anchor and the world is mine. I'm sometimes gone for months or even years. If it can be reached by water, I can visit and enjoy another adventure. Sometimes just getting there is an adventure.

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 52 (view)

Breaking the 'bad choices' cycle Posted: 9/26/2007 5:42:35 PM
Hi all, I read all the posts, all seemed equally good. Therin lies the catch 22. If one doesn't know what to change nor how to change it, one could get lost in the mind. What does one do if they open up a can of worms that they don't know how to deal with? There is always the option of seeking the help of a competent professional. Lets face it changing oneself or reinventing oneself can be one of the most rewarding things one can do also one of the most difficult. This is just my $.02. good luck!

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

cruises for singles between 50-65 years of age Posted: 9/23/2007 1:31:11 PM
Well, I'm single, I cruise, and I'm between 50 & 60. The best think is that I take my one boat and go when and where and for how long I want. What could be better? What a life!

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 30 (view)

sexual liberation...or not so much? Posted: 9/23/2007 3:45:17 AM
To poster #4, something to think about. On most cruising sailboats there are no head boards. (down side). Now for the up side. Head room is usually quite a bit lower that the average house and the beds are built in on pedastals, so the beds are closer to the ceilings. Hence ceilings can be reached with one's feet-easily

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 137 (view)

No baggage, is there any such thing? Posted: 9/23/2007 3:36:43 AM
Well, living on a sailboat, one certainly and quickly learns to keep baggage to a minimum. When one has to off load something in order to load something, then they know there is way too much! Just cannot keep stuffing it in!

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

What have you learned to pass along? Posted: 9/23/2007 3:24:11 AM
If you're trying to impress a lady as to your horsemanship, never squat while wearing your spurs. If you are a great horseman, don't show up the lady with her horses. Leave her some pride.

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Suggestions for any good Seafood/Crab houses in Galveston TX??? Posted: 9/23/2007 3:04:55 AM
Take your cast net and get all you want. There are lots of all-you-can-eat in the Houston area. Just a short ride up 45. Check the marinas in Galveston, there are lotrs of boats going out and would enjoy taking you fishing. Sailboaters usually will take you out for free just for the excuse of going out. They may ask you to bring the beer!

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

Amsterdam's remarkable bike culture (and fascinating pics) Posted: 9/10/2007 6:55:08 PM
I'm curious , did you go to any bike store and price those bikes? Bikes are the primary means of transportation in many countries and they're built to last. Priced accordingly too. They last many years. They're not the throw-aways we're so used to here in the states.

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

Amsterdam's remarkable bike culture (and fascinating pics) Posted: 9/9/2007 11:30:06 AM
Oh, great pics by-the-way, thanks

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Amsterdam's remarkable bike culture (and fascinating pics) Posted: 9/9/2007 11:28:46 AM
Perhaps a point was missed here . The reason for the helmet laws here in the states is that motorists simply do not respect a cyclist as human. In other countries because most are on bicycles they are respected. When I ride my bike in other countries, I'm in the majority. When riding in the states, I'm in the minority. Cops will do nothing to protect a cyclist from a motorists. Another minor point the bicycles with the small wheels are folding bikes. They fold in 1/2, handle post collaspes, pedals fold, seat collaspes. they become a package not much larger than the wheel and about 3x as thick. Dahon is a major manufacturer of these. They can be purchased here in the states. If there is a West Marine store near you, they carry them.

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Trip to the CARIBBEAN, female and SINLGE...need suggestions...(FROM THE GIRLS MOSTLY!) Posted: 8/11/2007 7:40:54 PM
I assume you have a limited time schedule. One could fly down and charter a boat if you can sail. I sail my own boat down and stay as long as my visa is good or until I feel like going somewhere else. Works best for me. But the I'm not a woman. I do occasionally meet lady sailors . Could look for crew seekers web sites or learn to sail web sites . They offer packages in the price range you mentioned. A lot of the sailing packages are in reality just a vacation deal. Good luck.

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Travel the World Posted: 8/4/2007 8:01:01 PM
There are always boaters looking for crew for an ocean passage. One must work tho, i.e. standing watch @ nite, sharing galley duties, cleaning and usually sharing in food expenses.

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

KC Fun Run to Party @ Stockton Lake Aug 18th Posted: 7/26/2007 6:31:10 PM
One might check about a hotel or motel in the Stockton area. Last I remember since the tornadoes a few years back, I'm not sure there are any rooms available. Might be some at State Park, but that's at least a 1/2 hour or more away. Stockton is in a very rual part of the state. Might be more deer in the area than people.

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 53 (view)

Does Springfield, MO want to have a Plenty of Fish Party? Posted: 7/17/2007 5:33:33 PM
doesn't look like it. Check out the Stockton Lake thread

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 101 (view)

Drinking over 45 Posted: 7/16/2007 5:00:23 PM
Someone once asked me if I had a problem with drinking.( I do enjoy a beer on occasion). I replied , "no, I try to drink enough and often enough that I don't have a problem with drinking." I know what I like to drink, how much I can drink, and when to stop. I refuse to get drunk. Off shore I seldom have a drink. If I do then it's just one. Now as for a sundowner at anchor in exotic places with friends, rules still apply!

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

75 Mile Restriction. Posted: 7/8/2007 7:06:05 AM
I'm wondering while scrolling thru profiles, if there could be some way of showing if a person who limits contacts to 75 miles, could be so indicated. I'm talking about in the short intro under type of relationship desired. There appears to be space.

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

Key West Posted: 6/24/2007 3:48:58 PM
There are little hole in the wall places to eat and souviener shops every where. There are streets everywhere too. Not just one. Parking can be a hassle most of the time. If you find a spot, park and walk. Me, I anchor out and take my bike ashore. There is the seven mile bridge to cross. For the most part it's about 11 feet above the water. Only the section over the channel is 58 ft. The other bridges over the passes between the keys are interesting and 4 to 6 ft above the water. The water is frequently shallow enough to wade across. There are only 2 beaches in the Keys. Both small. One is on the Atlantic side Key Vaka @ Marathon. southwest corner. The other is farther down. Just across a bridge, on the left at a rest area like place. I think it's dedicated to vets of something like that. Watch out for the man-o-war jelly fish! If you take I75 down, go on down to 41 (where 75 ends) and cut across through the Everglades . It's better that alligator alley. Your kids will love seeing all the alligators and keeping count. Stop at the micoussi reservations and take an airboat ride.

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 49 (view)

Does Springfield, MO want to have a Plenty of Fish Party? Posted: 6/24/2007 3:31:15 PM
Well, I was at SBC Friday as stated-by myself. Most go there for the food. Younger crowd after 10 for the booze and tunes. Because I like the brew I'll be there again this Friday, 8 pm. 6-29. I see that plenty of fishers visit this thread. I also notice few actually do anything about doing things. My belief is that one will never catch a fish without wetting a line.

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

middle aged & multiple divorced- a red flag or not? Posted: 6/22/2007 4:34:34 PM
I feel that all have made valid points. I have talked with people that sat they just have to be married. Something about not being ok by themselves. Others having married several people married the same person, only the name had changed. I.E. marrying alcohalics. Or wanting the "bad boy" then finding that they really are bad boys, and doing it again. Some won't learn. I hope that I have learned enough to take the time to get to know someone. And make a healthy choice. After all, I'm choosing for me!

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

Do we really attract who we are? Posted: 6/16/2007 8:04:08 PM
I belief is that things aren't as simple as one would wish. For the most part people are attracted to what is familiar. Emotional health also is a big deciding factor. PMost keep doing the same thing with the same person. All that changes is the name. People are only comfortable with another that is on the same emotional health level. One who is more healthy will run from the one that is less healthy. I see these profiles that say that they want an honest man or a good man yet they keep picking one that is neither. Some pick drunks or abusers. They keep doing the same things over and over. Needy is expressed in many ways, sometimes emotional, sometimes fiancial. It is as varied as there are those of us looking. Best of luck to us all!

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 46 (view)

Does Springfield, MO want to have a Plenty of Fish Party? Posted: 6/15/2007 10:04:22 PM
This thing has been batted around since March and so far nothing has happened. Anyone interested in meeting at Springfield Brewery on Market St.? Next Friday is the 22nd of June. The jazz bands are pretty good but get too loud to talk after 10pm. Will 8pm work? Meet upstairs. Some of their house brews are ok. I'll be there.

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 83 (view)

Do some of these profiles seem too well written? Posted: 6/12/2007 6:42:08 PM
Poster # 80, Well said, Well said!

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Compatability N/A Posted: 6/12/2007 6:35:28 PM
I took the compatability test and a few weeks later I clicked on the "compatability" at the top of the screen and there arreared about a dozen potiential individuals. Iconically they were all 100% incompatable..Go Figure Methinks POf has some tweeking to do on this feature!

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

A life well lived Posted: 6/10/2007 11:18:53 AM
A life well lived, getting everything done I want to do before I become crab bait!

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 57 (view)

Dance of the sexes................... Posted: 6/10/2007 6:48:45 AM
I somehow suspected that one might focus on a word, "game", instead of the behavior. I was hoping that the references to baseball, tennis , and canasta would help. The point I was attempting to make is, it doesn't seem fair to expext another whom one has never met nor communicated with to know what you desire? I guess I'm all for self responsibility and openess in our dealings with others. I believe that reduces anger and resentment to a degree in the world. And every little bit helps.

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 50 (view)

Dance of the sexes................... Posted: 6/9/2007 5:01:35 PM
After mulling over post #4, " I put him in my favorites list and hope that he contacts me". I don't know, this doesn't seem quite fair to me. How would a guy,. who hasen't ever met you, doesn't know you, know what you expext of him. Wouldn't one need to explain the rules governing the game one is playing? It would help to know the rules concerning playing baseball, tennis or canasta wouldn't it? Let's face it, most guys , including myself just don't get it. Both sexes do seem to come from different planets, don't know which ones but we do seem to be worlds apart in our thinking , understanding, and reasoning. Wouldn't one want to attempt contacting another, after all, they may be the ONE! Why allow the maybe one-chance-in-a-million slip away?

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

The 22 towns with the worst names... Posted: 6/3/2007 7:14:51 PM
There's a 'Lick Skillet", Mo, USA

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 52 (view)

Do some of these profiles seem too well written? Posted: 6/3/2007 10:24:12 AM
I think it's the other way around. Yes, there are a few that are very well written, but oh so many that are extremely poorly written! If one cannot make oneself sound interesting, how could they expext another to take an interest in them?

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 65 (view)

Do You Put Up Walls? Posted: 6/1/2007 4:31:01 PM
There are just some things I will not do nor allow. Call then walls, barriers, or boundries, or what you will. there is this thing called, "share-check-share". A useful tool in determining if another is appropriate. Share a little not threatening detail on oneself, check how the potiential other deals with it. Then one may feel a little more comfortable sharing more or may discover that the potiential isn't trustworthy to continue. One doesn't want to 'puke it all out' in the beginning. That describes no 'boundries' and needy.

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 38 (view)

Does Springfield, MO want to have a Plenty of Fish Party? Posted: 5/27/2007 11:31:41 AM
I went to 'KEY LARGO" last nite. Nice dance floor band nothing to remember. There must be a reason no one was dancing. Most of the crowd ( not many) was over 35. Next stop "SPRINGFIELD BREWERY". Reputed to have good jazz bands.

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 27 (view)

Memorial Day - What Will You Be Remembering (Your Veteran) Posted: 5/27/2007 8:48:28 AM
I'm a vet, V.N. disabled. When my now ex found out what my real job was while there, she took the kids and left. I do feel and feel strongly for those serving this country. They will return with emotional baggaget that they may never be able to talk about. PLEASE PLEASE don't throw them away. It's quite possoble that they have survived horrors that you ccannot even remotely imagine, even in your most frightening nightmarres. They may not be able to talk about it. It may be too painful. But they will need someone there for them. Just knowing that they won't be thrown away for having survived the hell and horror they had to endur just may be your contributation to the effort. PEACE ALL.

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 132 (view)

older gentleman - longer hair Posted: 5/21/2007 4:34:50 PM
Hey roseboots, I had to chuckle at your post. My son has always had waist length hair- part of his native American heritage. His hair was always prettier than any of the girls at his school. Sometimes he would get a curly perm and it was literally drop dead georgous. My hair is so thick, I couldn't manage it if worn long. My neighbor has long hair and it is just him. I guess some are blessed with the long hair thing others aren't. Doesn't change nor make the person. My opinion.

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 56 (view)

What do you think is an acceptable reason to stand someone up? Posted: 5/21/2007 4:25:45 PM
I too have been stood up. They never heard from me again. I don't stand anyone up. I have , however, called from a hospital and cancled ( burst appendix). Like I say, I'll be there or I'll call from ther hospital and explain why. Keeping one's word is very important to me. Neither will I make a date with someone unless I feel comfortable with them first.

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

My bobber is bobbing....now what do I do???? Posted: 5/15/2007 7:13:07 PM
PLEASED Don't smack them on the head. It gets blood on the deck and do you know how hard it is to get blood off a fiberglass deck? Let alone off a teak deck!. Easiest and most humane way to dispatch a fish is to take a shot of any hard liquor in your mouth and open the fish's mouth and just blow it into the fish's mouth. Bloodless and only takes the fish a few seconds to die. Now for the question at hand, even crossing an ocean isn't any big deal for me, as long as they are a non smoker.

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

useless inventions Posted: 5/7/2007 8:59:53 PM
In the south , there already are all year christmas decorations. Easy to idenify the red necks that way.

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 54 (view)

Does anyone like being alone better? Can you take or leave having a relationship? Posted: 5/6/2007 8:44:47 AM
Good topic, Being alone, lets see, it's been over 15 years now. I guess my longest relationship has been with my various shrinks. I've arrived at a place where I accept me and who I am. ( I've heard TMT-too much therapy) I have unlimited independance and freedom. Sometimes an equal amount of a feeling of lonelyness. Usually I fill my very busy days and nites with things I desire. A long time ago, while married , I designed her clothes. She was always the best dressed anywhere she went. Now I design or redesign home interriors and build wooden canoes for my creative outlet. Living on a sailboat, one quickly learns that private space is one of the most important aspects to comfortable living. Then after a passage, the need to find an ice cream cone and socialize with others gains primary importance. There is a healthy balance of closeness and distance- a comfortable and appropriate distance for the couple. That is the answer , I believe to the question posted by the OP

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Do people expect a certain amount of drama? Posted: 4/29/2007 2:16:18 PM
Drama in a relationship is usually associated with abuse. Wouldn't it be much more beneficial to first establish a wonderful relationship with yourself. Then when you discover this really wonderful person that you are, you'll probably meet an equally wonderful guy. At least you'll be able to spot these guys that are nothing but trouble and be able to steer away from them.

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

Driving Over 50 Posted: 4/29/2007 2:09:01 PM
How about a driving school? There is one called "Smith" that is very good.

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 30 (view)

Does Springfield, MO want to have a Plenty of Fish Party? Posted: 4/22/2007 6:58:22 PM
Has this thing died or what?

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

anyone know any good beeches in Florida? Posted: 4/16/2007 5:39:06 PM
I just thought that Florida was too warm for a beech to grow. I thought they needed a much cooler climate, a more northern climate. I just can't remember seeing a beech in Florida. Like I said, I can't remember. Now I do like the sugar sand beaches of the panhandle and the swells on the eastern coast to get a hobie cat airborne.

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 32 (view)

What Do You Bring To The Table In A Relationship? Posted: 4/16/2007 5:32:39 PM
A well found blue water sailboat, lots of fishing equipment, charts, books full water tanks, full diesel tanks, and a healthy me. What else is necessary?

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 57 (view)

Women playing hard to get online Posted: 4/14/2007 8:23:55 AM
Game playing is ALWAYS a sign of abusive personality disorder. Unles you like abusive relationships, RUN as fast as you can or block or report these people. You can't change them. Please don't encourage them.

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 37 (view)

That was funny. Posted: 4/7/2007 7:23:56 AM
read this one aloud to get it. There was a midgit, spoke with a really bad lisp. Wanted to buy a horse. After studying up on horses, he decided that a mare might suit him best. Checked out all the horses available in the area and went to views one. Upon arrriving, he looked the mare over quite well, and asked the guy selling the horse if he would mind lifting him up so he could look at the horse's teeth. Decided that the horse war the proper age. Then asked the horseman if he would mind lifting him up so he could look at the horse's mane. The horseman was beginning to feel a little exasperated at all these unusual requests but complied. After setting the midget down, he lead the horse around and the midgit's next request seem a lot out of bounds as he asked to see the the horse twat. The horseman thought that this was way too much so he picked him up , grabbed the horse's tail, lifted it and shoved the midgit's face up under the horse's tail and rubbed him into it. Upon setting the midgit down with disgust, the midgit said, "let me rephrase that, "Could I see her gallop?"

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

Retirement: Do we need to be on the same page? Posted: 4/6/2007 7:35:35 PM
Seems that all are correct in their views on the retirement issue. Yes, it's an issue for me as well. As 'sailing wench' said, ""most couples are sailing his dream". As I sail to various places, I find that some ladies have learned to love the life, some have accepted it hoping that he will soon get tired of it. Some have just have had enough. There are a lot of single guys out there sailing their dream singlehanded. One of the issues that I consider is if the potiential lady I meet is close enough to retirement age and how open she is to traveling. If she really loves her job, from my perspective, I won't wish to ask for her to change for anything. If her plans are to sit on the front porch, or say, spend her time gardening or some other interest that precludes sailing, then for me, she is not a potiential to meet. Her interests art are of utmost importance when deciding to contact or not. There are a lot of things in a profile that I look at prior to contacting. Retirement or close to retirement is just one. A person has to have the ability to physically travel, The where with all to travel, ( tho I have found that living on a sailboat costs about $1.50/day) excluding the cost of the alcohal. Plus an occasional repair. I'm not too sure about being on the same page , but being on the same boat would be important!

captnjimbo

Joined: 2/11/2006

Msg: 29 (view)

The Funniest Joke In The World! Seriously! Posted: 4/3/2007 7:09:11 PM
A guy was walking down the street one day and saw a man dressed in scarlet tails, top hat knee high patent leather boots crying and bawling. An elephanty beside him also sitting on the curb. Upon drawing closer, he could make out that the guy was crying about someone being a clumbsy stupid fool. Elephant had a look on his face like, "what did I do?" The guy asked the guy sitting on the curb crying what was the matter! Guy in the top hat and tails said, "I used to have a circuis, lions, trained seals, clowns, 8 elephants, the whole 9 yards. But this stupid clumbsy fool of an elephant put me out of busiuness! "How", the guy asked?... The man on the curd answered, "the elephants were coming into the ring stepping over the curb as trained, trunk grasping the tail of the elephant ahead. Everything was fine until this clumbsy fool of an elephant here beside me stumbled and pulled the a$$holes out of 7 good elephants!"

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