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nickysportsfan

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

Problems With A Parent Missing Posted: 4/14/2007 7:38:28 PM
I can relate to you too. My ex hubby hasn't seen or called about his son in almost a year. It will be a year in may. I had to leave him .He got into drugs big time. I think it was meth or crank. I've heard its all the same thing. Its hard at times but my son doesn't really ask for his daddy. He has medical problems and in some areas he is delayed. I know one day he was playing with some toys and he was going mommy baby and daddy. He would then throw the daddy down and say no daddy. I didn't say anything to him about it I just let him play. He has called my uncle daddy but only because i told him his lil cousin was going with her daddy and he said no my daddy. I had to tell him no hun thats not your daddy. It was hard but I didn't want him getting mixed up. Its hard on little kids when one parent isn't involved. Before the drugs he was a wonderful person. I just try raise my son. It also doesn't help that the law can't find him and he hasn't paid child support in over a year. I do a little work. I'm a subsitute teacher but i don't get paid that often. Just don't hide anything from him when he gets older. I mean I won't make a big issue out of it but if he asks if hes old enough I'll just tell him that his daddy thought doing drugs was better. Thats all we can do. None of my ex's family has anything to do with my son either. Its said but can we do? nicole

nickysportsfan

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Did i handle this right? Posted: 3/20/2007 7:52:19 PM
Well I do try to not talk about it. But sometimes when he is playing he will do the whole mommy baby daddy thing. Not all the time but some of the time. I guess in school they stuided about familys or something.

nickysportsfan

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Did i handle this right? Posted: 3/20/2007 7:42:02 PM
My son is four years old and it will be a year in may since he has last seen his dad. Well the other day he was playing with these little men that he had gotten in a happy meal. They were all the same so he was acting like one of them was the mommy and the other the baby. I handed him the third one and said heres the daddy. He took it in his tiny hand looked at it a moment and then threw it down and said "no daddy." I didn't say anything i just said ok and he kept on playing. I didn't know what else to do. That happened a few weeks ago the past few days I have had family in from another state. It was my uncle and his little girl. Well they were going to go visit friends and I told my son that his lil cousin was going with his daddy. He started to whine a little and said "my daddy." I said no son thats her daddy. He did start whining a little more but never asked where his daddy was. My son has medical problems and I don't really know how much he understands. I left my ex hubby in 2005 and since then my son has only seen him a handful of times. Hes bad into drugs. I think crank meth I don't really. I would just love to get someone elses point of view.

nickysportsfan

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Any parents out there ever heard of Neurofibromatosis? Posted: 11/22/2006 7:20:54 PM
My son has nf1. I don't have it and i don't think his father has it. I don't know me and him are divorced. He has speech problems and a mass on the right side of his head. He is also behind in some of the development area. He does wear glasses and right under his eye is what they call a plexiform fibroma. Its hard to find anyone to talk to who would even want to be around my son. I think men are scared at the responiblity of going to and from the diffrent dr appts. I go in dec to a gentics clinic to see if it was inheraited or a mutation. Its nice to know there are others on here with the same thing. nf.org has also been a big help to me. Nicky

nickysportsfan

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

advice needed Posted: 10/14/2006 7:26:26 PM
Ok. So i put up a picture of myself though I really didn't want to. Its not recent but its the only one I have. So any feedback about my profie and pic would be greatly helpful. I am in the process of losing weight. I've done good i've lost almost 40 pounds. So as soon as I can get a new pic on my computer i will upload it.

nickysportsfan

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 31 (view)

ugly boobs Posted: 9/29/2006 6:53:22 PM
I have big boobs too. Its one reason I don't like posting my picture on things like this. I hate it when men ask me what size they are. Its none of their business. I am though considering sugery to have them reducded. I've been big chested all my life and its hard. Its hard finding clothes to fit right. It doesn't help any matters that I am over weight but I am losing weight. I just wished men around my age could be more respectful. You just don't go around asking how big someones boobs are. nicole

nickysportsfan

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

please tell me what you think. Posted: 9/6/2006 8:17:53 PM
Hi. I have been here for a little while now. People have responded to me its just been a while. Any kind of feed back on my profile will not go to waste. I would love to get more repsonses from people. I know I lack a picture but that is for personal reasons. So how else can i make it more noticable? nicole

nickysportsfan

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

help please Posted: 8/31/2006 8:23:21 PM
Everytime I log into my mailbox and it shows the last 10 people online how come under some of them it use to say instant message. Now when I log on it shows that no one is online unless I go to online now. I like being able to see who is or who isn't online. Please can anyone tell me why its doing that.

nickysportsfan

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

Why do handicapped children bother most others? Posted: 7/30/2006 7:51:40 PM
I have a special needs child as well. When you first look at him you can't tell that there is anything wrong with him. Yet his right eye looks swollen. I get asked all the time if he got stung or hit with something. Its just part of a mass that is on the right side of his head. When you hold him up to a mirror you can really tell the diffrence in his face. He also has speech problems. Hes just now starting to make two word sentences. Hes three years old. He does wear glasses and he has to see 4 drs thats including his peditrication. He does have to have mris and even cat scan sometimes. I know its going to be tough for any many to accept this but I do know that not all guys are like that. It really does take a special man to accept a child that has problems. I'm not even sure whats going to happen to my son in the future. I just hope and pray he will be able to play football or baseball like any normal child would be. Nicole

nickysportsfan

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

drugs kills relationships, even if you dont do them yourself. Posted: 7/26/2006 12:36:00 PM
I feel your pain. My ex got into drugs. When we first got together everything was fine. He was loving caring gentle. I was pregant and i mean he wouldn't even let me vaccum the floor. If i wanted something to eat in the middle of the night he would go get it. He worked second shift so it made it easier. Our son was born and we spent some time in the hopsital. Neither one of us left his side. He was a good father when he would come home from work and our son was up he would feed him so i could sleep. Then we decided to move. Things went downhill from there. At first everythign was being payed on time and after just a few months he stopped paying rent things were being cut off or he would only pay the lowest amount he could. I started getting yelled at if I didn't buy enough at the store or got yelled at if i bought to much. I quit asking for clothes for myself. He would however buy his son clothes and shoes and diapers. But then it started getting worse. He started yelling at me cussing me telling me it was my fault our son has speical needs. He would tell me he had enough evidence on me to take my son away from me that I was an unfit parent. I cowered from him so many times because of his anger outbreaks. I was lucky he never hit me. He threw things and broke things though. I finally left. He got so skinny. I'm divorced now and I have my up and down days. I know we are better off without him and I've heard diffrent things thats hes in rehab and now hes out. I left him last year around march. Hes only been to see his son 6 times. I try not to stress about it so much. I know that its going to be him hurting when his son doesn't want to see him. From my experience I will think twice about who I date or talk to. I never want to go through that again. I think if I would have stayed I would be out on the streets, dead, or have been put in a hosptial. My son wouldn't be with me. So I am glad I have family that I can turn to. nicole

nickysportsfan

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 860 (view)

hi Posted: 7/24/2006 7:48:12 PM
When i log in and go to my mail box. it shows that no one is online. I kindof find that hard to belive in someways cause its been doing this for a while now. can anyone tell me why its not letting me know when people are on?

nickysportsfan

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 62 (view)

What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic! Posted: 7/21/2006 10:15:18 AM
Well. I don't know if you would consider my ex hubby a dead beat. I do. I've had to go through my local da's office to even get child support from him. I left my ex in march of 05. He has only seen his son a total of six months from then till now. I know my son doesn't realize whats going on. All he knows is he lives with his greatgrandmother and greatgrandfather and his mommy. The state i live in is sending me a check everyweek. Well was until his unemployment went out. I think hes living in the same town as he was when i was with him. If that is the case then it would not supirse me for him to go back to pot and crank or meth or whatever the heck it was. So yeah. I think the courts should be tougher on dads who aren't around. I mean it takes two to make a baby and as the saying goes. "Anyone can be a father but it takes a real man to be a daddy."

nickysportsfan

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 37 (view)

A special person who you're never going to meet... Posted: 7/12/2006 7:54:25 PM
Now why haven't any of you women said He Man. hehe. Ok Ok that shows how old i am but hey its just a dream right? Nicole

nickysportsfan

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

I still love him even though I don't plan on going back. Posted: 7/12/2006 7:38:12 PM
Thanks ya'll. Yes thats southern talk lol. Everyone is right. I can't go back and I know I can't. I am getting over it slowly. I still have bad days. From what I've heard my ex is suppose to be out of rehab now. He has yet to make contact to even see how is son is doing. I'm to the point now I don't care. I know its probably harsh but its just the way I feel. I figure he will be in and out of my sons life. Thanks everyone for the advice. Its been helpful as I try to move on with my life. I did get approve though pending a background check to be a subsitute teacher. I know its not an everyday job but hey its a start. Things are begnning to look up. The state I live in has taken over my child support fight. I even got a check for a while yeahhhh. I appricate everyones enourgement and support. I'm glad I found this place and that I can rant and rave and just let it all out. Everyone needs someone or lots of people to talk too. Nicole

nickysportsfan

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

Revoking parental rights Posted: 5/6/2006 8:54:22 PM
I have a situation like this. My ex husband isn't allowed to see his son. When I went for the final divorce decree the judge said that he wasn't allowed to see his son until he took a parenting course. I'm in tn and you have to take this class. It even costs money to take. There are no tests you just have to get a paper saying you took it. After I first left my ex he would come down every weekend. Well soon those weekends got longer and longer without my son seeing his dad. I guess part of that was the drugs he was on. Meth and pot were his choice of drugs. My son is three and since I left him last march he has only seen his son a total of five times. I was even nice enough to let him see him at Christmas. Hes in rehab now or so I guess. I know he has a name on this site. I offered to let him visit his son at Easter but he never showed. I don't worry about it anymore. Yes it hurts me to know that my son will never know his dad but maybe its for the best. I just started getting child support but I had to go through the state. Its so amazing to me that some dads can just turn their backs on their families. At least my son knows who loves him and who is there for him.

nickysportsfan

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 42 (view)

Would you date a woman with a special needs child? Posted: 5/1/2006 7:49:50 PM
It does take a real man to stand up and date any child with speical needs. My son I guess you could call it speical needs. He has a mass on the right side of his head and it is starting to affect his vision. I'm not going to metntion his diease because I've found out my ex is on this website and its none of his business. He is in speech thearpy and is doing good. He has to have mris and cat scans done every so often. My ex husband is not in my sons life. Meth can really mess up a person. From what I've heard hes in rehab. Anyways. I'm glad that there are some men out there who will date women with special needs kids. It gives me hope that someday I can meet someone who will accept my son

nickysportsfan

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

Who watches your child so you can actually go on a date? Posted: 4/30/2006 8:59:21 PM
Well. I have family that I know would keep my son for me but I haven't even been divorced a year and I have no plans in dating right now. Though it would be nice to go out for an evening just to get a break. I know that sounds bad but I have been with my son since he was born. That included 6 weeks at his bed side when he was in the hopstial. I get breaks every now and then so I usually use the day to relax and not do a thing lol. I love my son more then anything and his dad is well umm lets just say is a come and go kind of person. I heard hes in rehab now weither or not he stays clean is another story. If he does good for him. If not shame on him. Hes only been to see his son 5 times within the past year and i even told him he could come out at easter and he never showed. Anyways I'm sorry to get off topic but look through the job wanted ads. There are always people looking to keep kids. And good luck in everything.

nickysportsfan

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Ex is in rehab. need some advice. Posted: 4/16/2006 8:32:25 PM
I found out my ex husband was in rehab. Well hes already been allowed to come home once and was wanting to see his son. I told him no that it wasn't a good idea yet. Well I am guessing sometime Friday he got to come home again. I think he got like a 48 hour pass. Hes in a halfway house. Well his uncle called me and asked me if it would be ok if he came down to see him. At first I said no and then I thought about it a little longer. I would hate for my son to not ever know his daddy but his dad well lets just say made a few bad choices and ended up doing crank. Anyways. I won't get into all of that. I called back and said ok they could come down for about an hour. Well that hour passes and then another hour passes and they never showed up. I still haven't had a phone call from either of them yet. I'm not going to jump to anything yet but I am very very mad about this. I mean I've given him every chance to see his son expect one time where I wasn't sure if I wanted my son to see him. I left my ex back last march. Hes only been down to see his son a total of five times. I know part of the time he was strung out. My son is special needs. Well hes in like a special needs class. He has to have speech thearpy and has to go have mris every 6-9 months. He also sees two eye drs. The thing that made me so mad is because I told my son his daddy was coming to see him. He got exicted and started to clap. Then as a car drove down the road going to another house. He got mad because it didn't turn into our driveway. He may not speak a whole lot but I think he knows whats going on. My son is only 3. What should I do next time they decide they want to come down. I've tried to be nice but I'm tired of being a nice person about it.

nickysportsfan

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

Anyone out there move with your child for a better life (away from the other parent)? Posted: 3/14/2006 9:09:40 PM
It was a year ago in march and I didn't move across the usa or anything i just moved about an hours drive from where i was living with my ex hubby. I have full custody of my son and in the state of tn you have to have some kind of parenting class. Well my ex hubby's visitaiton was taken away since he hadn't taken this class. Needless to say my ex has only been to see his son 5 times. My son is three and we moved when he was just two years old. My ex is also a druggie. I think he uses crank or meth whatever you want to call it. All i know is i went through alot with him. mainly emotionally. so to answer your question do what you feel is best for your child. I didn't want to leave my ex but I knew for my safety physically and my sons safety I had to move and divorce him. Nicole

nickysportsfan

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

I still love him even though I don't plan on going back. Posted: 3/11/2006 1:30:56 PM
Thanks ya'll. I know I can't go back to him. He says hes getting help. This is like the 3 or 4th time. I'll belive it when I see it. There are just times I hate his guts so much there are times I love him to death. Its just a roller coaster. I am slowly starting to heal heck yes i have even started checking out men again hehe. My next step is finding a job and then a place to live. I'm living with family right now. I know I can't waste my time wondering where my sons father is. My son has medical problems. I won't go into alot of detail on that just that he is in speech theapry and has to have mris and cat scans at least every 6 months. So when I have my down and out days I just think the good Lord for the things hes given me. I just hope that whatever happens in the future that if I do date and remarry that my future boyfriend or husband would only accpet my son like his own. Cause its hard to play both mommy and daddy.

nickysportsfan

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

I still love him even though I don't plan on going back. Posted: 3/10/2006 10:47:17 PM
My ex hubby decided that drugs were more important then me and my son. So I left him and divorced him. He didn't even show up to court to fight. I gave him chance after chance to straighten up and be a man. He decided that he wanted to stay high. Well I still love him. I know I should be over him by now or so I thought. I left him last March and the divorce was final in Sept. My son is three and has never really seen him since we have left. Yet I'm always dreaming of the day we get back together and what life will be like in 50 years when we are together. I don't want to go back to him. Yet sometimes I feel as if we belong together. I know this doesn't make sense to anyone I just need someplace to type and write. He was my first love. He was the first guy I ever slept with. I tried to be the good little housewife and have supper cooked and the house clean and all that. Its hard to do. I didn't care that he stayed up all night playing his playstation. I at least knew where he was. Then he had to go and do drugs. THe changes came and I got scared of him. So please why do I still love him. Why do I still wish I could go back and change things when I know I can't. I don't really care if anyone responds but at least I got it off my chest. I think. nicole

nickysportsfan

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

I need some advice Posted: 2/25/2006 8:12:35 PM
I know what you going through as well. My son loves Jo Jo's circus Higglytown heros Doddlebops. I thought i was the only parent wishing the wobbly whoopsy song would magically disappear. I think its time they came out with more songs personally. He also loves the Miss spider and the sunny patch friends as well as little bear. Now sometimes he plays when hes watching it. I can turn it and the water works turn on. Lol. I am not complaining though. He listens to it and plays. Hes learned diffrent things from the diffrent shows. Oh and in the afternoon its baby looney tunes and scooby doo and tom an jerry. my personal favorites. My son is three and has medical problems. So I do limit how much he watches but as long as he is quiet and not bugging me then thats fine with me. I find something else to do like read a book or i even get down in the floor and do the things with him. He gets a good laugh at me trying to do some of those actions. Geez to think ppl older then me can dance like that. Lol. Well whatever works for you do it. I say let her watch all the dora she wants because it won't be long and it will be other things like boys and cooties. hehe. Well good luck with everything. nickysportsfan

nickysportsfan

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 43 (view)

Single mom with a dead beat dad Posted: 2/15/2006 11:14:20 AM
Well excuse me. but he was my first love. he was the ONLY man i have ever been with. he was a great person. My son spent a month in the hopstial after he was first born and neither of us left his side. My ex husband was a great father. Until he turned to drugs. Now why he did i don't know. So how dare you say that i shouldn't be sleeping around. You shouldn't say things unless you know the hole dang truth. He is a dead beat. He says he loves his child but never comes to see him. now the courts did suspend his visiting rights it wasn't my choice. i had no problem with him coming and visiting. He CHOSE not to. Its his own damn fault not mine. I gave him every chance to come see him. he decided drugs i think meth were more impotant. So you have no right to point fingers.

nickysportsfan

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 41 (view)

Single mom with a dead beat dad Posted: 2/14/2006 7:52:54 PM
Hi everyone. I'm new here just joined yesterday. I have a three year old son. me and the father were together for about four years. Since i've moved out and divorced him he has only been out to see his son about 4 or 5 times. He had the nerve to show up at christmas and think everything was ok. I was nice and let them visit for a while. Its sad that men can't take care of what the help produce. I know he owes me at least over 3000 dollars in backed child support and the divorce was just final a few months ago. he didn't even show up to court either time. I know drugs had to do alot with it. its part of the reason i took my son and left. So I know about dead beat dads. I think it just gives every other decent male a bad name. Well. I hope everything works out and maybe you can get some money out of that jerk. Do like me take his butt to court. He should pay.

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