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raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

how do you become okay with not being number 1 Posted: 7/9/2008 7:54:20 PM
Sounds like your gut is talking to you. Ea person in a partnership is free to do things. If One is in a relationship it is respectful to invite one's partner, stay home some nites or take them somewhere special & hopefully willingly. You chose someone with a child, & he must do his parenting & give ongoing attention & teaching as it is part of a parents job description. Either join in or go & do something your self. Let him know that except for the child, it has gotten to an excess & results in you feeling like you are always second fiddle. See if he cares... I was in something similiar for a brief time once and I felt like a screen door....as if I wasnt even there. I was glad we talked.

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

How do I make the hurt stop? Posted: 7/9/2008 6:25:13 PM
Part of Devoting yrself to taking care of yourself is working on your weight problem daily. A lot of info on Oprah.com, or just Google it. change pop for juice, dont eat after 7pm, etc. Good Luck. Be Firm wi yr Mooch.

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

How do I make the hurt stop? Posted: 7/9/2008 6:12:07 PM
You werent feeling great about yourself before she came along. She sensed your need & has been using you ever since. When we pray to the God of our understanding, we don't just wait for him to drop the answer in our lap. He gives us brains & talent & he expects us to get up and act!. The Welfare office will take good care of a mother with 2 kids. She'll get a place, furnished, food, clothing, etc etc. WE TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT US. She saw U as an easy mark, even offered benefits. Yuck. You need counselling. If you make yrself a doormat, you get stepped on. Tell her 1st thing in the morning That it is time to go.Watch she doesnt steal fr you. You want her to leave by 10:30-11:00 & giver her $10.00 for taxi. Get her key or have the lock changed as soon as she leaves. She is the mother of the boys just like she was before she came to your place. In the afternoon make an appt wi a counsellor re what you described in the beginning, for homework, work on yr self-esteem. walk 30 min daily and exercise. Going out will give you a life. Don't let any one else use you. God expects you to do this stuff yrself. One day at a time, 6 months later you will be surprised. Focus on YOU! Give the Boys a toy or lunch kit for school perhaps, if you like.

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 36 (view)

he's coming on strong Posted: 7/6/2008 3:04:58 PM
I suggest something to everyone, slloww down. It takes 3 months of regular dating,(more if you are attempting the long distance thing) to get to know someone. Strange things can come up out of nowhere 2 mos later. Initially you meet and find out if you both feel chemistry/sparks for each other. Then you chat & discover if you have things in common. As soon as you know its a No,or that the other party is way ahead ie calling you girlfriend you explain that for you, it takes a lot longer than 4 or 6 etc dates to feel you know the other person enough & be ready & willing to committ to being Girlfriend, (which is not fiance). If asked or told U R my GF, discuss the definition & that way not so likely a big blow up later. If someone is coming on too strong for you, tell him U feel uncomfortable. If he respects yr wishes, Great. If so, Move on asap. Take care of yrself.

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

why do women give eveything in a relationship Posted: 7/6/2008 2:27:13 PM
Free Forums are not to be used by people like this Female whose Profile states she is looking for a man that has to be tall, muscular, definitely willing to share her physically with her husband.....the young guy she just complained she gives her "all" to. I dont have the time of day for her here. We should Close this forum & her profile & she can find a sex site & likely pay for it.

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

How to move on Posted: 7/6/2008 9:47:23 AM
Two things : 1.) WE TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT US. Repeat to yrself Daily. Also, 2.) so U R not damaged against ALL MEN, or ALL WOMEN REALIZE YOU'VE BEEN HURT BY 'john' or 'mary' and there are STILL OTHERS OUT THERE when you feel better. My ex hurt me harshly by betraying me long ago when I loved him & was pregnant, again afterward, again, again, etc. Unknowingly I equated a relationship as something to be fearful of instead of relationship, negative = John leaving the rest of the men in the world. Associate the negative with the one person only & take care of yourself.

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

He's cheated twice, why would i want to go back? Posted: 7/5/2008 6:31:54 PM
You are a single parent mother who has committed to raising your groovy little kid. Don't even think of quitting your job, you need it. People are loyal or they are not. This guy is notno matter how many times he says I love you, nor how sincere it sounds. You dont need him, nor does your kid need to see & hear him around. Kids watch & hear all the time. We are the potters, they are the clay. It's our job while raising them to expose them to emotionally healthy people, neighbourhoods, etc. The longer you wait, the worse it gets. You are young and pretty, there are other fish out there.

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 1458 (view)

Why men don't date strong women... Posted: 7/5/2008 10:14:44 AM
An Independant person male or female doesn't tell you about it. They are intelligently living it . It comes natural.

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 281 (view)

I Still CRY at Night ALONE!! Posted: 7/5/2008 12:21:07 AM
Yes it is painful, but you are asking to make it much worse. You state loud & clear that you are getting a huge settlement within a year. Never say such a thing loud & clear to strangers out there. You are asking to get hit on by any dishonest female in yr province that happens to read it. Go to yr doctor, crying is somewhat normal but when it is as much as you describe, it could be contributing to a nervous breakdown. Do you have a good male friend you can TRUST? You state that you are lonely in your profile. Take the "Lonely" out. There are givers & takers in this world. When a taker sees that, they know you are vulnerable & plan how they can exploit you. I don't mean to be so negative but I feel you should protect yourself, build yourself up physically for the benefit of yourself and your children and get COUNSELLING at Family Services as soon as possible. Explain how U hav been feeling. It will do you a lot more good just now than looking for a replacement for your ex , only to fine another bad apple. Google ' self-esteem 'and work on yourself. When you are under stress, your kids absorb it from you. When you work on yourself and perk up, they pik up the better feelings also. A step at a time, a day at a time, you will make it. I bet you are a kind loving dad. Dont be afraid. If U feel fear creep in, throw it away. Anybody can do it for one day at a time. Your kids love you. Instead of sitting around all uptight, take them out for an ice cream together. For you, just like it was for me years ago, it was worse at night....sooo go to bed early. Mornings are great. If U drink coffee, make it decaffinated. If you smoke, smoke a couple less, then a couple less again, etc.every 2 wks. juice instead of pop, cut bak on sugar & get full sleep. Physical & emotional are linked. Make Doc appt. Care 4 Yrself & kids , I wud get off POF for a while. Go to singles dances & come home on yr own till you build yrself up, otherwise U will meet losers & more problems U dont need! You can do it!! Say, "I am Worth it! " E.

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

hate feeling this way... Posted: 7/4/2008 7:41:25 PM
He is not going to change, so you mite as well work on getting over him. I stress this Bcuz some people take a few months to get over their romance, will others take too many years. Treat yrself like you were caring for your sister. Eat nutritiously, take a walk daily, if U smoke, cut back, if you smoke a little try to quite & of course drinking doesnt help when you are emotional. Don't stay in where U R more likely to get down, call up a girlfriend and get out...which is what gives us a lift. Remember, you are getting our him. Not all men do this, He did. Take care of yrself, You are Worth It!!

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 27 (view)

Is the auto industry going into a meltdown? Posted: 7/3/2008 2:10:30 PM
Man has been builting Cars, Trucks & other Vehicles for many years now & while I dont follow it closely, I believe the only ones built for effective mileage are the smaller ones. It is common sense, but still is there not a proportional difference V6 & V8 being more effective now than they were 10 yrs ago? This is an emergency for the auto industry....they will produce in half the time it did before. Lets let them know what we want. The Oil industry thinks they have us over a 'barrel'. There is POWER IN NUMBERS, MONEY TALKS, IF WE PERSEVERE. BOYCOTTE: the Big Gas Stations unless U are stranded Petro, Shell & Esso only use if you have to. Re-type and send to everyone you know unless they work at one of them. We will have to keep it up. We will see what they do when there is enough lost revenue. Otherwise we lose because gas just keeps going up bring more costly food & and everything else that is transported also! It's unfair. We need a legal vehicle that runs competantly on something else.?? In the meantime, drive less, share when U can, get the transit schedule & use it if possible. BOYCOTTE ; Petro, Shell & Esso in Canada U.S.A. ?

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 41 (view)

Would you continue dating a man who always talks about himself? Posted: 7/3/2008 1:05:09 AM
that was you gut feeling giving U the message, instead U came on here with it. Its time U learnt to listen to it...will be priceless for you. Have confidence in yr ability. A man like you describe has nothing to offer. Move on, he is wasting your time. You would be doing him a favour to explain why in a simple way. He needs to learn it.

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

ex ruining my life, help!!!! Posted: 7/1/2008 10:59:58 PM
Hi, Msg 18 is perfect explanation for you about what to do legally....soooo Do It! You & the boys have a cheering section here, so when you have done it, check back & let us know how it all went! If you don't you are setting yourself & boys up for more problems. He doesnt care about the boys, he just says he does. You are a good mother, you have the directions that will help the 4 of you. When you have done it, let us know so we can all celebrate! I raised 2 children on my own who turned out terrific. I told them daily, usually in the morning how terrific and lovable they were & how I loved them soooo much!! I would also tell them they were good looking, and Smart! Try it, it's an inexpensive gift of love that pays off big time! Good Luck!

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 27 (view)

The World is effeminate. Posted: 6/30/2008 11:41:09 AM
THE WORLD ARE SUCKERS for the ELITE WHO REALLY RUN IT. When I was a little girl in the 50's, all men's hair went grey or bald and ladies hair went grey. It was O.K because everybody elses' did also. The T.V. was introduced and what a tool it was. The masses were fascinated & watched anything shown on the 1 & later 2 chanels. I Love Lucy & husband Ricky Ricardo and many other actors did Not have grey hair, live advertising for the first time showing B4 & after & shamed us into nt having products. Viewers siting at home were made to feel they wanted to look glamourous too. Lets see what a few dollars worth of color will do. Better yet, lets do the cadillac style at the salon. Spend, Spend....became a pattern. People before me talked about the great depression of the 30's, so I read a book on it once. Wow. The author had crossed Canada interviewing depression survivors. They used to advertise Cigarettes as sexy & so cool , (so many kids started in teens and are dying now) but they NEVER said they were SO addictive & could kill you, all for the millions $ that the elite trade us for. 'They' made it harder to quit, nicotine was increased by 11% over 3 years, just a few yrs ago. The world wasnt effeminate in the 50's, T.V. arrived as a major advertising tool via shows & ads & often without questioning, we thought could see the real world, Hollywood, Vegas, etc.Effeminate items are usually extras not needs. If their marketing & advertising gets you to the point of living month to month I would consider: housing went up & rent has or will follow, Gas has jus abt doubled & in B.C. 2+more tonight & more coming. A food item used to be 4. is 8. yesterday, many more food items going up due to transportation, heating for coming winter.....oh oh,,, Start today dont take money out till U decide if it's a want, or Need. If I am hopefully wrg, you will have savings.

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 26 (view)

The World is effeminate. Posted: 6/30/2008 11:22:20 AM
THE WORLD ARE SUCKERS for the ELITE WHO REALLY RUN IT. When I was a little girl in the 50's, all men's hair went grey or bald and ladies hair went grey. It was O.K because everybody elses' did also. The T.V. was introduced and what a tool it was. The masses were fascinated & watched anything shown on the 1 & later 2 chanels. I Love Lucy & husband Ricky Ricardo and many other actors did Not have grey hair, live advertising for the first time showing B4 & after & shamed us into nt having products. Viewers siting at home were made to feel they wanted to look glamourous too. Lets see what a few dollars worth of color will do. Better yet, lets do the cadillac style at the salon. Spend, Spend....became a pattern. People before me talked about the great depression of the 30's, so I read a book on it once. Wow. The author had crossed Canada interviewing depression survivors. They used to advertise Cigarettes as sexy & so cool , (so many kids started in teens and are dying now) but they NEVER said they were SO addictive & could kill you, all for the millions $ that the elite trade us for. 'They' made it harder to quit, nicotine was increased by 11% over 3 years, just a few yrs ago. The world wasnt effeminate in the 50's, T.V. arrived as a major advertising tool via shows & ads & often without questioning, we thought could see the real world, Hollywood, Vegas, etc.Effeminate items are usually extras not needs. If their marketing & advertising gets you to the point of living month to month I would consider: housing went up & rent has or will follow, Gas has jus abt doubled & in B.C. 2+more tonight & more coming. A food item used to be 4. is 8. yesterday, many more food items going up due to transportation, heating for coming winter.....oh oh,,, Start today dont take money out till U decide if it's a want, or Need. If I am hopefully wrg, you will have savings.

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Lost My self worth...need assistance Posted: 6/30/2008 1:00:50 AM
A year and a half at the price of someone who brings you down and likes to fight regularly is way TOO MUCH. Put the shoe on the other foot. If it is someone you like, would you fight weekly and demean them?? She is bad news for U & wont change. I suggest if she has anything at yr place, or you at hers, call her from a blk away & if she answers tell (dont ask) her that her stuff will be there in a few minutes. Dont let her put it off. When neither person has stuff at the others place, & she sd she broke up so now the cord is cut, go get yr self a treat for making the first step. Fighting once a week is very abnormal , you stayed with the situation way too long. If she calls U, tell her U also agree for yr own reasons that the relationship doesnt work. Emotional damage has been done to your self-worth/self esteem so I suggest you google each, read and apply the advice that you understand. Stay away fr the cause of the problem & remember why? BECAUSE YOU ARE WORTH IT! Repeat sev times Daily.

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 593 (view)

If someone emails you with misspelled words and bad grammar, do you respond? Posted: 6/28/2008 4:54:28 PM
If someone emailed me who had bad spelling & grammar I would definitely reply. We all have various talents. I was secretary once for a man with 2 degrees. He was shocked each time I changed words in his letters, checked & discovered mine to be correct. Some of us have an ear for music, while many don't.... would you disqualify those who don't? They often have earthshaking things to say!.

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 54 (view)

GOP convention button asks, ‘If Obama is president…will we still call it the White House?’ Posted: 6/26/2008 12:12:55 AM
I recall being told that Obama had 1 black parent and 1 white parent, so he is half & half His white dad left when he was small & he was raised by his black mother. He has brown skin & probably thinks of himself as blk. To get all those blk votes, of course it is convenient to not bother referring to the white half. Politics.

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 56 (view)

Quebec girl takes father to court over class trip Posted: 6/25/2008 10:36:27 PM
If she can keep suing dad for everything that goes wrong in the future, perhaps he should discuss his "Quebec parental liability" with this lady Judge who although she says it is a one time only thing, she has actually Set a Precedent and she knows it. I wouldnt want to be a parent in Quebec. For our U.S. members, Quebec is one of our 10 provinces...but it often feels like there is the 9 of us, and then there is Quebec. Over the yrs from time to time there have been activists who had uprisings & talked abt separating but lucky for both sides it didnt happen. They were happy when the whole country appeased them and went bilingual (french & english) at quite an expense even though majority hardly uses it. Montreal is a fun city wi grt shopping dining etc yet even though we 10 provinces are supposedly Bilinguel, Quebecs store signs are in French only. Read Russian? Francais? I knew a lady who got married in Quebec "Because the Quebec divorce laws are better". Canada has 9 provinces and then there is Quebec. Why do they get away with it? Nobody ever 'Calls them on it'. P.S. A 12 yr old doesnt get an appt to talk to a judge on her own,,,she doesnt even think of the legal system & how to find phone #'s and money for a deposit etc. Stinks. E

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 252 (view)

Domestic Violence Posted: 6/25/2008 7:29:20 PM
I suggest you take care of yourself physically & emotionally as if it were yr best girlfriend. Emotionally, asap get COUNSELLING, learn & do it. physically eat & drink healthy without caffeine, de-cafeinated ok, if U smoke, cut back a bit 2 per mo. Exercise, a good walk, bikeride, or? 4-5times a week. Go to bed at reg hour & get full nites sleep. You wake up feeling great. The emotional affects the physical and vice versa. A day at a time, you will get better & better!!! When he comes into yr mind, toss it out & replace wi a nice thought of yourself, & then give yrself credit. You are not alone. Find a support group and go. Its important rite now even to just listen. Take care.

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 91 (view)

Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met Posted: 6/24/2008 10:00:32 PM
I have had a few do the misleading thing on me. Sometimes to look much younger and get attention, waste my time emailing & again if I agree to meet. Sometimes the picture looks much slimmer than his current weight. Abt 3 had gained 80+ lbs. SO, I make a point of telling them I thought I was dealing with the person in the picture which was a lie to me which I dont appreciate as well as the round trip to the coffee spot is all a waste of my time which he had no right to do. I left. He thinks o-weight or not, he can lie & get a coffee date etc. I left to cancel his theory & bcuz I was angry re time waste!

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 359 (view)

Should a woman buy a round of drinks? Posted: 6/21/2008 1:38:42 PM
SKAJ replied if he buys he expects more & actually thinks he is buying affection. Affection can't be bought. It 'happens' when time is spent together /earned bt not bought. Sex can be bought from some. He expects a lot for a couple of drinks.

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 130 (view)

Alternative lifestyles Posted: 6/17/2008 10:15:03 PM
Hello Daughtry, As Parents we are the Role Models, Good or Bad. Our Children are always watching. We are the Potters, They are the Clay. When we give birth, we are responsible for 4 the important imput that shapes their self esteem etc etc. My marriage was over when my darling daughter was turning 3 and my son was 9. We had no help from my ex & I didnt have a car so it was bikes or the bus for weekend outings. I had tried marijuana wi th my ex previously to be social & would fall asleep. He left & so did it . I focussed on my children & job. My son has an organic farm & 2 daughters in the Kootenays, My daughter was a nerd growing up, graduated wi honours, was Valedictorian (I intentionally stayed at one address for 10 yrs gr 3-12 for stability & she still has someof those friends). She is married & is a dedicated mother to 3 children. All get told they are loved every day just like I did to my 2 and the X & O I carved into the banana. 4 adults in the group have all quit smoking (including me)Bcuz its harmful. I haven't had a "Joint" in 30 + years. Even if I thought it was cool , if I felt it shud be legalized, whatever, my kids & now grandkids are WAY more important. Elaine. Oh yes, You know I am sure, Driving while High distorts reality.Dont Drive .

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 200 (view)

Verbal Abusers Posted: 6/17/2008 9:30:49 PM
LADYMARIA; Even if U are not certain U want to charge him, it is definitely wise to go to the police station as soon as possible while the scratchs & bruises show. Tell them you want to put it on file. Do a write-up of what happened & have them take pictures of your scatches etc noting that it is 2 days old. These things get worse. Next time anything should occur, they will take it much more seriously. When we give things to God, he still expects some input from us. Taking yr sisters phone & yr car were both thefts. When it is abuse that is involved, I think it is the police that lay charges. As soon as possible, phone around & find a place where U can get therapy. City run Health organizations have phone lists etc. If U really want to take care of yrself, start tomorrow morning. You are worth it shud B yr mantra.

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

The Death Penalty - When is it ever justified? Posted: 6/17/2008 4:13:20 PM
These Perpetrators do serial murder & sleep with & eat parts of the children killed, Geoffrey Dalmer did similiar bt at least the U.S. I believe put him in wi the regular criminals....he didnt last long , a few mos. (thats capital punishment & didnt cost taxpayers much); Clifford Olson has been incarcerated for years (serial killer of boys in Vancouver BC, Canada, he gets protection big time, & he manipulated the govt in the beginning to supply his wife with $100.000. to take care of herself & in exchange he told them where a couple more bodies were. The parents were relieved in spite of the manipulation. He lives comfortably, has been on line & killed abt 9 children & living in protective solitaire, he costs us taxpayers a fortune. If I am speeding & get a ticket, can I cry "Mentally Ill" and it be dropped? Crooks know the System & Judges arent nearly firm enough. These Murders & many more plotted the weird crimes they did repeatedly & numerous people lost their LIVES. Other crooks saw that they did get capital punishment, & ventured in to the same type of crime at some point later. I think we should have Capital Punishment on the books so that it can be used if necessary for the weirdo ones , the serial killers, eating children etc. If it would be implimented it would at least stop the person from murdering more & us from paying 20 yrs taxpayers money on them. Our system is so soft that the criminal gets it better than the victim!

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 34 (view)

Making initial contact - short and brief or descriptive? Posted: 6/16/2008 6:24:57 PM
I havent looked at all your replies, but your pic, as well as message 9 and 15 need re-takes , head & shoulders, smile like you just won the big lottery, and have light or sun shining toward your face. Current , clear, head & shoulders pics are important. Our appearance tells the other person if there is an attraction there. I like to see 1 or 2 shots full length showing you doing something natural re yr canoe, hiking etc. but it is optional perhaps unless you want to get ahead.

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

best places to meet in the real world?, 40 and up Posted: 6/16/2008 2:16:48 PM
Hi there, I am 3000 mi west of you on Canadas coast Vancouver, but was born & raised where you are,the spots, skating on the Rideau Canal down to the Parliament Bldgs, the Market has some great stuff & the Quebec side with its french restaurants Preston St & the same... Yes, I agree treat this like a job search. I suggest choosing 2 activities that you like or might like to find out, you can try it for a while.... & as long as it doesnt interfere with yr work you will learn , & meet new friends regardless. I know an old girlfriend who met her husband at a birding club & lived happily ever after.15 yrs till she died of cancer. He s a pro & still runs the club & much more in Ottawa. Bowling, Book Club, Dance Club?, Pickup the magazine from the community centre that lists all that is available through the summer.. or phone them, maybe it is online. Call the wonderful Art Gallery re tours & of course dont be shy. Better get a journal to keep track of dates & times. Tennis is reasonable & grt exercise. You can go & get lessons & she is also there. Or you go, hang out at the club, play cards till someone needs a partner for doubles & she is part of the foursome or the next one you get swallowed up in. I played at the elmdale club on Holland & Byron bt must be one closer to you. Worth having a look! Elaine

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

Main Profile Photos Posted: 6/16/2008 12:04:31 PM
Even shy people are ego-based (want to look their best or get attention) so when we see pics that are blurry or at a distance, they dont want to be seen clearly. They could be married, a dealer, many things... its worse than not having a pic. when the person is there, bt U can't see them. I like to take a head & shoulders main shot & when clicking, tell themto smile like they just won the lottery!! Its yr first impression & U only have one chance at it.

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 75 (view)

What do you think of the Tomato Ban ? Posted: 6/16/2008 12:52:05 AM
I see the term Just Tomatoes used; 'Just', tends to minimize, which of course is ridiculous. There is power /big money in numbers. The users or paying customers in the U.S. & Canada are a great many. At one time I received a bulletin from Head Office that there had been a frost in Brazil & a large part of the coffee bean crop was spoiled...... this of course put the cost up which didnt go down the following years. It sure sounded like B.S. to me.... but coffee, a world wide commodity which is addictive even re the caffeine would be a good one to try out. Yes money was made from it. I recall thinking a Boycott could have been held... Oil & Gas is the biggest ever. Cities are designed with a dntn core and freeway to the suburbs which one needs transportaton to. Giving up yr car is a big move, yet even if you do, everything that is shpd via transport truck will increase in price including food, so buy local and can or store somehow. Heating next winter will be terrible. The rich families at the top that control the world are greedier than ever. I wonder if some of us will make it. There is strength in numbers. I am thinking of taking in a roommate ...good for bothof us. Everyone should cooperate. People earning low to minimum wage, buy at thrift stores. We can all donate to thrift stores , recycle not the dump. The Oil & Gas is going up up up. India has made a car that goes on air for 12K but needs to be pumped up periodically at a station. Our Hybrids are still half gas... I am hoping for the electric someone must have in their basement. I heard it suggestedthat as many as possible Boycott the 2 Largest Gas Stations in Canada Shell and Petro? and the U. S? ? Can we function as a team? 'They' dont want us to. I didnt believe all the tomatoe details but there are 3 pages, I will leaveat that.

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

I found a great girl on here Posted: 6/13/2008 8:52:56 AM
Congradulations! Everyone has good days & bad days.... If a bad day should happen, of course be ready to cool of first then talk, then kiss & make up. U have a good thing, its worth the effort of course. Take care.

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 1141 (view)

Cheating- can you forgive? Dump Him Posted: 6/3/2008 12:49:54 AM
The day you can forgive, is the day you bring peace to yourself. It is natural to remember things, you arent dwelling on details, having peace it will be a defence 4 U If you love someone who cheated on you, it hurts big time, yet you loved them before & still do...it doesnt mean you stay together, but love doesnt disappear instantly. My Ex & I were married young & he was going 'out' somewhere the nite I was throwing him his 22nd B-day party. It continued from there numerous times till we had been married just over 7 years & had 2 children that I felt needed 1 happy parent instead of 2 fighting ones. It was the 3rd split,...I should have known the 1st time but I was determined to make it work and he sounded sooo sincere when it was kiss & make up time. He sure meant it when he said it, however never followed through. I have been engaged 3 times since, bt not married as none were appropriate. All sincere talk, no action. Hes on 3rd marriage..... definitely very selfish.... You are not married & dont have children, GO NOW!

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

i feel like an idiot Posted: 5/31/2008 10:31:35 AM
I suggest you treat yourself like you would your favourite sister or best girlfriend. U can review the past in order to learn briefly, but dont dwell on it, ever. If you do, the damage will just get worse & worse & affect yr chances at other possibilities. Work on healing yourself, treating yourself in any way that makes sense to you & yr girlfriend deserves....Because you are WORTH IT. That last phrase could be your mantra, daily. Only allow things & people in yr life that are GOOD for YOU. Implementing that statement, over & over, your life will get better & better. You are worth it! Past is Past. Turn the Page . Pyramids are built a block at a time. You can do it.

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

A girl, a plane ticket, and a coward. Posted: 5/13/2008 3:34:05 PM
Life seems to be a journey of lessons, lessons, lessons. If we don't "Get it" we seem to keep repeating instances untill we do . If U are in a big enough city, I wud stick to locals. If you must go farther, keep it within 4-500 miles AND let him be the one who comes to meet you. Most airlines dont give U cash refund but explaine the circumstances & that you are poor starved student, could they make an exception? If no, they Yes you do want the credit which is good for 1 year. You can fly somewhere that U hav a relative U can stay with, otherwise the YWCA is reasonable. Ck with the Chamber of Commerce or City Hall of wherever you have in mind & see what activities are happening. You will prop discover that the lesson learned & the activities, sites & people seen & met during yr personal trip are worth much more that the coward U told us about. Must be other fish in the sea Girl. If not just now, stay single for a while & focus on yourself for now. You dont need him.

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 111 (view)

Been married for 20 years, feel empty. Posted: 5/13/2008 12:09:44 PM
Any relationship requires work, input from both. Long term (20 yrs is a long term investment for each of you) is a period that can easily have those lulls which if you dont nip in the bud, can get bigger & take over til one day you find yourself wondering what happened to it all. You have a financial base, children & a history. If U start over again, you wont find perfect. Whatever you choose, before you go further, I highly recommend you go to a counsellor or therapist for as long as it takes. It is well worth everyones happiness which gets affected . At some point, would likely be good to bring him in to counselling. Whether he was or still is a drinker. Some quit on there own & maintain the characteristics......they get referred to as "Dry Drunk"...they didnt work on themselves. Those who go to A.A. And work the Program, not all do, change a lot of things about themselves & go a lot farther that way personally, in their own life, marriage or new relationship. You would also if you went to Al Anon whether he is still drinking or not, whether you are together or not.... damage was done to you a long time ago. To find a counsellor who is familiar wi co-dependency, or go to an al-anon meeting....the choice is yours & you will continue & live withthe outcome. Your husband was addicted to alcohol & you addicted to him. If you dont 'do the work, the nxt man in yr life will likely have a depency/addiction.

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

found a great relationship :) Posted: 5/12/2008 9:22:28 AM
Congradulations to both of you! Nice to hear. The beginning, or Honeymoon phase normally continues great but changes . Yours sound so good I am sure you both will work on it when it does. Have a wonderful summer!

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

found a great relationship :) Posted: 5/12/2008 9:21:21 AM
Congradulations to both of you! Nice to hear. The beginning, or Honeymoon phase normally continues great but changes . Yours sound so good I am sure you both will work on it when it does. Have a wonderful summer!

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

found a great relationship :) Posted: 5/12/2008 9:21:08 AM
Congradulations to both of you! Nice to hear. The beginning, or Honeymoon phase normally continues great but changes . Yours sound so good I am sure you both will work on it when it does. Have a wonderful summer!

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 417 (view)

How many of you would date a man with no car or license??? Posted: 5/11/2008 4:54:33 PM
When a person loses their license for a long period of time, it is not the first time & now they mite be losing it for 1, 2, or 3 years....possibly even forever. In Canada that eventually does happen & of course he doesnt need a car. So, my first thought is to find out why, & if he is a practising alcoholic I wont be staying around.

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 102 (view)

Domestic Violence Posted: 5/10/2008 11:22:13 AM
YOU ARE WORTH IT. I suggest you write key phrases down that popped out at you. If you have an off day , you can retreive it from the envelope in yr purse. Mobile Help. Its nice just knowing its there . The Physical & Emotional affect each other. Eat nutritiously, no junk juice instead of pop a walk /day gradually longer, bed early, if U drink coffee, do Decaf if U smoke, cut back they hav more nicotene than B4 slowly cut 1 or 2 per mo Cities/communities hav Counselling at big Reduction or Free. Get on List, go & make notes for yrself to hammer home the 'Stuff". Your Mantra, I AM WORTH IT. say many times a day, as soon as you wakeup is good. E.

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 55 (view)

I just lost one of my best friends to suicide.... Posted: 5/9/2008 12:33:58 PM
Suicide is the final result a mental illness such as depression, various degrees of Bipolar etc. Being ill, physically or mentally is NOT a Sin. Don't teach that to your children or you will mess them up. Your friend is gone....their are various stages of grieving. I lost my younger sister last Nov. Luckily I had visited her city the mo. before. Her 3 kids in their early 20's suddenly felt much younger. I keep in touch wi them. It seems she was bipolar which has manic (highs) & depression (lows) but did not take medication. She was alcoholic which is also a depressant. She was in need of counselling. We are all responsible for our own happiness. As parents we are responsible to teach our children in a healthy non fearful manner & that they become independant of us so they can care for themselves espec. if we 'leave' early. I highly a agree wi Bubble Boy, definitely get a counsellor or therapist asap for a few sessions.

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 137 (view)

Should marijuana use be a deal breaker? Posted: 5/8/2008 5:47:38 PM
Yes , You are basically straight like me & she isnt, regardless of whether its 'recreational part-time or whatever. Its not on the same level as cards with the guys unless you are a compulsive gambler perhaps. If I were you, I 'd wish her well & move on. There is plenty of other fish in the sea. Dont let anyone try to shame you into using or for being straight. Remain true to yrself. There is enough problems without looking for more. Also I was always aware that I was a role model good or bad to 2 children. It is very mood altering & is Very Dangerous to use and drive like many do.

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 89 (view)

Truckers Protest Fuel Prices in DC today Posted: 5/8/2008 1:01:54 AM
There is power in numbers. They dont have to be aware of the ruling elite. Anger re all the extra money they are going to have to earn to pay for their gas & Food will motivate the little people or slaves as I now feel these days. Timing is important. Its important to try to get something done while people are still angry not months from now when they get used to it. Repetition Dulls the Senses. I suggest that each country Boycott 1 or 2 of the large gass companies. Canada would be Esso and Shell I'd like to hear their board meeting when gas sales were way down for 2 weeks ! U S U K

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 61 (view)

Why Do So Many Women Require That I Must Love God? Posted: 5/8/2008 12:35:57 AM
"Christian", is an english word with 2 meanings, both are religious but different. Most people understand it as refering to a religion that is centered on "Christ". That is most common. ie United church, Anglican, etc. All Evangelical (also protestant)churches ie Baptist, Pentecostal, Salvation Army, Alliance Church etc state that you Must be 'Saved'/Born Again (you get emotional, pray for forgiveness of all sin, & committ yr life to God). It should be taken seriously & is a big step. Hard to continue in this church/religion with a partner that isnt into it, so I can state it up front & you can accept it or move on. Maybe they didnt get you in the congregation, but they didnt lose me. ?? I grew up in one of these churches before they became as popular as they are now. I was 'saved' at 8, lied a couple more times & felt guilty so I got saved again at 9. Then I decided it wasnt for me & waited it out till I could leave . I couldnt accept the guilt/control.

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 24 (view)

do I ask, where this is going? Posted: 5/7/2008 11:55:46 PM
There must be chemistry there to have taken her on a 'few' dates. When you kiss her goodnite does she kiss you back like a 'friend' would on the cheek or more exciting like a lady that is 'quite' interested in you. Keeping in mind if both are shy it can be awkward. If you ask direct you wont be wasting any time for either of you. Its not difficult.

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 271 (view)

what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable Posted: 5/4/2008 10:27:36 PM
Wen70 If this person male or female is letting you think they are your soulmate & they have their hand out early in the relationship, you can bet it will continue to happen again & again, probably in creative ways that you will think are justified (groan) and the amounts will definitely grow. The person you call soulmate Wen70, you have been with 1yr, & I think you sd helped him pay off his debt. Just like alcoholism, compulsive gambling, Heroin, Cocaine, compulsive shopping, Compulsive Spending/Compulsive Debting is also an Addiction which requires help to recover from, only when & if they are finally ready one day. My Ex is 62, driving a brand new Corvette, his 3rd wife is working longer to help pay for it and he still isnt 'ready'. I was wife no 1 a long time ago. He'd buy expensive clothes, pool table, boat, motor, a house on a sunday afternoon drive, 3 yr later anotherone & other things. www.debtorsanonymous.org has info on Spending, Debting, & Underemployment (intentional). There are a 'few' 12 Step groups although a little different as they have pressure relief groups, etc. I am more than solvent bt went to one meeting & found it quite interesting. 1-781-453-2743 Debtors Anon, P O Bx 920888 Needham, MA 02492-0009 (postal code) Compulsive spenders live their lives based on what others think of them. They believe their value lies in what they own & how they look." You have the info if you might need it in the future or someone else who happens to read it. Elaine

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

I would like some advice on money and an ex. Posted: 5/4/2008 12:58:16 PM
Focus on yourself first (she does) & dont't feel bad about it. Always. You can't help yrself or anyone else until you do. AND, Don't Loan, what you cannot afford to lose. If I were U, I'd absorb the lesson so there is an important Gain, & then move on rather than waste more precious time. You felt you were in love long distance but likely up close the quality is much lower if she would do this & probably previously also. Misleading you like this is Stealing. You feeling bad is her manipulating you. I'd leave it on her record for one year affecting her so she learns there is a serious consequence to her actions and might think twice next time. One yr gives her & her kids new start? As a mother to 2, she is a role model good or bad. They learn from her. D'ont let her throw the "poor me" line at you. I was a young single mo. of 2, broke, a medical problem, ex took the car ,I rode a bike, I built a room in basemt & rented it & my own room to 2 girl students for cash & my kids kept own rooms.etc etc.Kids turned out grt. When U catch yrself dwelling on her, pik the thought out of yr head & throw it over a cliff. Get over it & get on with life!!

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

Advice! Is this guy into me or does he just want to ****? Posted: 3/22/2008 11:51:45 AM
You are too naive and 'trusting'.... so you have to get had to figure that out?? He knew how naive first off when you went too meet him, a stranger, VERY LATE at NITE. Yes, you touching, the smooch to he the stranger....the XX talk to this stranger re Porn,... he is leading & U obligingly following within a couple of hours of meeting him. You dont really Know him. Now you seem to be eager to see him again for the more. Do you like porn wi a stranger or making love with the man you know & love? If I were you I wud find out how to block his no. & do so. There is something wrg. Follow yr Gut. Stay in Public Places if U do proceed. Don't be in a hurry. Sounds like he is looking for porn & you for romance. Not a mix.?

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

What is ground beef made of? Posted: 3/22/2008 12:50:39 AM
I worked in the meat dept. of a large grocery store when I was a teen. In the beginning I was wrapping meat. Within a couple of weeks it had become obvious to me that I was surrounded by dead animal parts. Making your own ground beef from chuck steak or roast is best becuz then U know what is in it. Sometimes I ck the white stuff in the store grnd beef and realize it isnt fat, but chopped up ligaments which stretchs it out. Hot Dogs my body got unused to hot dogs when I stopped eating them for 2 years. Then I passed by a hotdog wagon the scent of which was enticing. Hot onion, garlic, relish, ketchup...yum. I tried one,,,,,,then my body burped for 36 hours. I was unused to hotdogs & other low quality food.

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 35 (view)

I'm Dyin Here... Posted: 3/20/2008 10:01:33 AM
yr profile sez U are going to church these days. Bravo! Smart move. Take what you can & leave the rest. It will be good for you. You will likely find better-intentioned people there than at any bar. If you take Dingbat back more than once is you making yourself a doormat. You recalled doing this previously wi someone else, you and this dude are now on the stage playing the same roles. You didnt change anything about yourself, attracted the same type & of course get the same result. If you always do the things you did, you always get the things you got. Same script, different actor. Dont be so hurt, open your eyes & CHOOSE. Do I want to continue this way, or make a change or changes? Whether U have a friend or 2 or 3 or a boyfriend or nobody take care of YOURSELF. Spiritually via church is one way, eat local fruit & vegetables and try to eliminate junk/fast snack food which cost you for empty calories only. You are making more money.....be certain to SAVE for a rainy day. Don't tell your drinker about it. Read yr Profile. Do you think it would attract a mature responsible person? We Teach People How to Treat Us. We seem to keep Repeating lessons till we 'get it'. Could he go without drinking for 3-4 weeks? Does it control him?

raainbow

Joined: 2/13/2006

Msg: 34 (view)

I'm Dyin Here... Posted: 3/20/2008 9:58:55 AM
yr profile sez U are going to church these days. Bravo! Smart move. Take what you can & leave the rest. It will be good for you. You will likely find better-intentioned people there than at any bar. If you take Dingbat back more than once is you making yourself a doormat. You recalled doing this previously wi someone else, you and this dude are now on the stage playing the same roles. You didnt change anything about yourself, attracted the same type & of course get the same result. If you always do the things you did, you always get the things you got. Same script, different actor. Dont be so hurt, open your eyes & CHOOSE. Do I want to continue this way, or make a change or changes? Whether U have a friend or 2 or 3 or a boyfriend or nobody take care of YOURSELF. Spiritually via church is one way, eat local fruit & vegetables and try to eliminate junk/fast snack food which cost you for empty calories only. You are making more money.....be certain to SAVE for a rainy day. Don't tell your drinker about it. Read yr Profile. Do you think it would attract a mature responsible person? We Teach People How to Treat Us. We seem to keep Repeating lessons till we 'get it'. Can he go 3-4 wks without drinking? Does drinking control him? Drinkers bring tons of pain to others. I know it well.

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