girls having kids at the age of 18 to 20..good or bad? chat & forums.

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spottyjackson

Joined: 6/5/2009

Msg: 95 (view)

girls having kids at the age of 18 to 20..good or bad? Posted: 7/5/2009 2:05:54 PM
bosox, i initially was quite in agreement with most of your posts, and had a good laugh at the "is this serious?" after the post from the obviously uneducated girl. however, you do obviously have some big issues and big feelings about how you were brought into this world and raised. while i very much can understand those feelings (albeit i can't fully relate as it didn't happen to me), don't make the judgments that all women who've had a child under 20 weren't fit to become mothers, or that all those children were "mistakes", and that we are all promoting teen pregnancy. again, we are just sharing that it happened to us, but we were mature enough to handle, had some luck on our sides, and it turned out well, that's all. that doesn't come close to "promoting" teen pregnancy. then i read your response about teaching abstinence vs safe sex. sorry, that's just totally based in unreality. lots of teens will always be having sex - whether they are taught to abstain, use condoms, bc pills, or whatever......there will also always be those who don't. that's the reality. unfortunate to be sure, and no, this doesn;t mean i don't think they should be taught otherwise, i most heartedly do. i wish there was an easy answer/solution on this subject, but there isn't. in an odd way, it can be related to our "war on drugs".....in that no matter how hard parents, teachers, government teach otherwise, drugs and teen pregnancy will always be a problem in our society. i honestly don't know if there is any answers, but all of us parents can do is do the best we can to teach, teach & teach and hope someday it will lower the %'s.

spottyjackson

Joined: 6/5/2009

Msg: 88 (view)

girls having kids at the age of 18 to 20..good or bad? Posted: 7/5/2009 1:21:03 PM
bosox....i certainly hope so!! :-)

spottyjackson

Joined: 6/5/2009

Msg: 87 (view)

girls having kids at the age of 18 to 20..good or bad? Posted: 7/5/2009 1:17:02 PM
WOW kimxxmw, etc, etc...... i don't think your post is going to have the affect you were hoping for honey- (while i may have to explain this comment to you, i doubt i will to anyone else on here)

spottyjackson

Joined: 6/5/2009

Msg: 52 (view)

Making assumptions about girls over 30 Posted: 7/5/2009 12:23:07 PM
thanks sun devil.......i don't think it's just burbank, 'straight-ness' is a bit hard to find anywhere in l.a., but on the other hand, that's one of the reasons i enjoy living here - ie., a wide variety of interesting people from all walks of life

spottyjackson

Joined: 6/5/2009

Msg: 50 (view)

Making assumptions about girls over 30 Posted: 7/5/2009 11:53:03 AM
thank you evil lolli! (love the pen name by the way!) living in l.a., one has many avenues for cosmetic surgery, but you also get many opportunities to see women who have undergone same, and the tight-face look they come away with. that is enough to turn-off anyone from having the surgery. not that i have a damn thing against cosmetic surgery, believe me, once the sagging chicken neck sets in, i'll be the first in line! so, believe me or not, makes no difference.

spottyjackson

Joined: 6/5/2009

Msg: 48 (view)

Making assumptions about girls over 30 Posted: 7/5/2009 11:12:13 AM
ok passionate gent, i so happen to NOT have had any face lift thank you very much! but i will take your comment as a compliment, how'se that? :-) i just turned 50 in may, so would i pass for 49?? reality is, when i was in my 20's, i looked like a kid and i hated it immensly. those 'older & wiser' kept telling me that once i aged, i would then greatly appreciate that i look so much younger. you're right, i didn't listen to them, but of course, they were right and i am very happy to have retained my youthful looks! and that's not without a life of some serious partying in my young years (hey, i was a teen in the 70's, in rural ohio, what else r u gonna do??), combined with loads of sunbathing, and all those things they advise people not to do to help keep their looks. guess i just got lucky, and got some good genes!

spottyjackson

Joined: 6/5/2009

Msg: 42 (view)

Death and the age of 50.... Posted: 7/4/2009 4:53:05 PM
think about it......we mostly eat processed foods, our air/water is filled with pollutants, we've become lazier & lazier (aren't we all guilty of this as we sit here and type??) yes, medicines and health care has advanced, but unfortunately alot of it not in our best interests (ie, the paragraphs of side effects for all these supposedly great, new meds that are synthetically engineered). scary? yes. i just turned 50 in may, and while my mother's paternal side has enjoyed many living well into their 90's, my dad's paternal and maternal sides both are leaving this world at a max age of early 70's. all we can do is try to live as healthy as our world allows....buy organic, try herbal remedies, use acupuncture and other forms of non--invasive health care.....and on & on. educate ourselves!!! while we can't do anything about the genes we inherited, we can do something about the way we live. stop worrying.....that in itself can lead to an earlier death than normal! so live like your"name" suggests.....have some serious fun! :-)

spottyjackson

Joined: 6/5/2009

Msg: 75 (view)

Should I ask adult child's mother to help her daughter? Posted: 7/4/2009 4:39:10 PM
just read some more of the posts.....carolann and suecat....wow you are both so missing the point here, as are alot of people responding. the woman owes back child support and whether the daugher is 15 or 50 doesn't make a damn bit of difference. if it did, then no-one would pay support if they figure once the child is over 18, then hey, they are an adult now and should take care of themselves, so why should i pay??

spottyjackson

Joined: 6/5/2009

Msg: 74 (view)

Should I ask adult child's mother to help her daughter? Posted: 7/4/2009 4:26:01 PM
right on nasty!! all these responses stating the daughter is grown and should be taking care of herself....well , true but they are missing the point here. mom OWES the back child support, so mom needs to pay up. not financially secure? get a 2nd job or whatever it takes. She owes the money, no matter how old the child is, it's owed and THAT is the point. Do exactly what nasty says....it's just that simple (ie, simple a statement, maybe not simple to get the money!)

spottyjackson

Joined: 6/5/2009

Msg: 71 (view)

Should I ask adult child's mother to help her daughter? Posted: 7/4/2009 4:00:33 PM
DEFINITELY! i was on the other side of this, ie, didn't receive child support for the majority of her 18 yrs. i also understand your desire to be civil with your ex (as it is so important for the child), and this does make it a bit difficult. that said, the most important thing here is your daughter and i applaud you for being there for her - both financially and emotionally. but you know what?? its's time the ex started to also provide the same support, and that she hasn't only shows that being there for her the same way you've been there for your daughter, is obviously not as important to her. if so, she'd take whatever job(s) she could, and she would find a way to help her financially. i think she's not, as she knows that you are, and she also likely knows that due to your desire for no conflict , that you won't bother her about it. she's taking advantage of your good nature, so don't feel bad...take her butt to court and get some of this money! my daughter is now 30 yrs old and my ex still owes over $20k, and you know what, i still pursue it, and he basically has a standing warrant in ohio (a good state for chasing deadbeat parents!) and if he ever even gets pulled over for a tail light out, off to jail he goes and he can't get out until he forks over some bucks. all i have to do is write an annual letter to the court letting them know he still hasn't paid his arreage, and they keep this standing warrant on him. it's worked out only a couple times (he seems to be quite good at not getting himself in any situation with police), but each time they did toss his butt in jail, i got $5k one time and about $2k the other, and it was much needed by her for various things. so, go for it!! believe me, it gets much harder to accomplish this once they are emancipated! (also very much depends on the laws of the state you reside in, so do some checking into it, get yourself educated about your rights on the subject, and do what you need to do to help your daughter! She's a lucky girl to have a dad so much involved in her life!!

spottyjackson

Joined: 6/5/2009

Msg: 91 (view)

How important is a sense of humor anyway? Posted: 7/4/2009 3:27:10 PM
so a woman who thinks a sense of humor is laughing at her jokes is way off base (per your comments), but then you go on to say that while this is not "the most important quality" that you look for in a woman, it's cool as long as she laughs at yours?? you sound like you're just annoyed at the fact that the women you've met DON'T laugh at your jokes......hmm, maybe this means you should find a new profession "funny person".

spottyjackson

Joined: 6/5/2009

Msg: 30 (view)

Making assumptions about girls over 30 Posted: 7/4/2009 3:12:54 PM
hold on here...you're the one asking for feedback, so you can't just slam the people who provide their thoughts that you don't happen to like. that's what this forum is about......getting people's thoughts on the questions posed, not obtaining responses that boost your ego by agreeing in kind. obviously this word, "women", does have serious implications for you for such a reaction. maybe that's what you need to be exploring.......

spottyjackson

Joined: 6/5/2009

Msg: 54 (view)

Guys Who Post Long Term and Don't Mean It?????? Posted: 7/3/2009 4:40:05 PM
billiejo....he may well be interested, but the feeling i get from your post is the same thing i felt from 'whisper'....it just smacks of neediness! It isn't about playing games and behaving like you don't like him so much, or any of that crap. Your needy side is really showing and it's just a real turn-off - to both men and women alike. just because a weekend goes by without a call doesn't have to mean a thing...you say he's a very busy person, so who knows what transpired over his weekend that prevented him from calling?? Stop worrying and just let things happen as they happen, and if they don't happen the way you desire them to, then get out now before your emotions are more intwined than they are. I know this isn't easy, and i don't mean to sound as if it is. Really, truthfully, be honest with yourself.....what does your gut tell you?? take it from a woman with some experience.....hell no, i don't know everything about how to "do" a relationship, who does? but i have alot of years invested in it (i don't know your age, but i just turned 50). Do what's best for you sweetie, as the most important thing is for you to be happy & content, and if you're not feeling that with him, let him go.

spottyjackson

Joined: 6/5/2009

Msg: 53 (view)

Guys Who Post Long Term and Don't Mean It?????? Posted: 7/3/2009 4:05:26 PM
HELLOOOO! obviously this guy didn't feel any real spark or connection to YOU...that doesn't mean he's not looking for 'long term', he was just not looking for something long term with you. I think I can likely tell you why.......your whole post smacks of 'needy'. Not a characteristic most men (or women) find attractive in the least. So, slow down 'whisper'.....I don't mean to sound so harsh, but if you really want honesty here, then you have it. In all likelihood, the majority of people on here do want to meet that special someone....we all want to be loved. However, it's not found from a pic, profile and some discussions.......when we all eventually do meet those we talk with here, that's when we find if that connection is there or not. And, even if one does feel connected or a big ol' spark on the first meet/date, that certainly doesn'e mean it will last. All of us are on our best behavior when in new relationships....men all of a sudden don't just change after months of dating, they just start being more themselves, the same as we women do. Be patient whisper......don't start a new relationship or a date with the thought that this will be long term, just see what transpires and try not to let your heart be so on your sleeve!

spottyjackson

Joined: 6/5/2009

Msg: 102 (view)

Why are there so many attractive women on POF? Posted: 7/3/2009 3:49:14 PM
what a dumb question! who, as a young mother, trying to juggle a job & child would remotedly have the time to look for a man?? no wonder you have a hard time finding someone. maybe try gaining a bit more commen sense and kindess.

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