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vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

Do you think less of lady if she has sex on first date? Posted: 11/13/2009 1:46:58 AM
Personally I think this is all crap. When I have sex with a woman has no bearing on how I feel about her. If it did, that would be baggage talking. I'm sorry I'm just not that sexually experienced and too smart to have any baggage. I want to hit it straight away, don't mind at all waiting forever, and am pretty much always in it for the long haul. You know what I've actually slept around much less than most people it appears, with this attitude. Basically I very, very rarely sleep with someone I aren't really into, the intimacy I'm looking for isn't there and that's what I'm really after. The few women I've dated were long term relationships, which started with sex fairly early on, but intimacy was there right from the start. I trade fewer dates for better relationships. Sex is irrelevant as for when, but like I said I'm inherently ready to go right from the start. C'mon, there's electricity in hand holding when you're both into each other, what can you do. It's great, I don't want to do this diary booking sex deal yanks are into, let me just check your tax returns and phone records to see if I want to date you. Your dating culture sux.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THIS ABOUT? Posted: 11/13/2009 12:52:44 AM
Tell him everybody knows the truest measure of character is what you show when you're under pressure, that's when people see your true colours and not any other time. When things are easy, then it's easy to lie. It's like a streetwise chick, right. She wants to know if her defacto is sleeping around. So she waits until the nieces and nephews are over, jumping all over her bf and his mum is talking in his ear getting into his personal stuff and his sister is arguing with her bf and then she impales him with a glare and says, honey, are you sleeping around? And right at that moment, how he twitches, if he glances down, looks to the left, sniffs wrong, it's that moment by how he reacts she knows. Pressure, it's the greatest truthsayer. Perhaps your boyfriend isn't quite so impressive as he thinks. At 25 in fact I'm going to call dibs on unremarkable but a great salesman. Young people love salesmen, middle aged people generally have a very low tolerance for them. You know, because they can't handle things under pressure and there's the self centred thing. Hey your guy's probably great. But tell him these things if you want him to be himself on purpose as well as when he can accord thinking about it unconsciously. He's not very developed.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 58 (view)

Too small for a condom !?! Then What??? Posted: 11/13/2009 12:29:45 AM
Circumcised guys get irritated by latex <--- will this work? If you didn't sleep around so much you wouldn't have to be concerned about STD's <--- this is a bad line isn't it? Listen lady I couldn't possibly have anything, no woman has slept with me since high school <--- that's even worse huh? Dating is so complicated, I'm going to realdoll.com, she loves me just the way I am.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 29 (view)

Cinderella..But.wheres my prince Posted: 11/13/2009 12:09:07 AM
OP your profile's fine, I think some people are just clutching at straws. Simple facts are you're hot as hell but have an adolescant child. That's it. Look if it were me, I'd try to date you if lived anywhere local enough. You're really attractive and I like the sense of personality I get in the short, straight to the point description. It's enough to go on for a message for some interaction. But an adolescant child into the equation just means the disinterested threshold is a bit lower. Say there was no child, and you seemed a bit twitchy. No problem, I could be wrong. But bring the child back into the equation the deal is: have a child and is a bit twitchy. Okay so that's two things. You catch where I'm headed here? I think that's basically all it is. It's just much easier to put someone off inadvertantly I think being a single mum. However, you are a really seriously hot single mum, you seem a very together, considerate and smart single mum, all green lights so far...basically if someone was easily put off in the first place they don't deserve you. I think at the end of the day whom you are is simply serving as a wonderfully effective screen for twits you really don't want anyway. You might get fewer dates overall, but the ones you have will be a far greater likelihood of being something really special. Did I mention you were really hot? Probably getting the dates won't be a problem, but keeping them might be. Like I said, think of this as a built in creep and jerk screener. Basically I wouldn't change anything about you or your profile, except okay to be honest I'm greedy for some more pics but only because I don't live there so would never see more of you in real life anyway and it makes me sad

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

how long is long enough to wait for sex? Posted: 11/9/2009 3:38:27 AM
I'm still trying to figure out why women are answering all the "ask a guy" threads, perhaps this is something else men cannot be trusted with. OP it depends entirely on the two people involved. The kind of attitude where you think men regard women as "after all it is a vagina" is the kind of preppy high school banter that kills the mood that grown ups like to feel when having sex. Hey I'll tell you something else too. When you meet someone who is right for that moment you don't even notice or remember if you actually had sex or not. Try that. So in a sense you are correct in your assumption that it doesn't matter, that it's not the focus. But you see, this stuff isn't a marionette with you the puppet master. I think you can actually see a little ahead of where you are right now, and my best advice is for you to read just a shade of philosophy and play around a bit with trying to apply it to your life. Sex seems like such a little thing when you're young, but it is such a primordeal thing that in fact it is what many horror stories are written in allegory of, but there is no way you could understand what I'm talking about on that so I'll just say that young people often don't even know how to have truly satisfying sex in the first place, the kind so intense it feels like you're already having penetration when you haven't and then it just gets better when you do. Think about it in ultimate objective terms, if we're a species and a species purpose is to reproduce, then sex can in fact be among the most profound experiences you can have during your lifetime, our very psyche would be wired to feel about it this way. Make the very most of it why not.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

Strange situation... should I, shouldn't I? Posted: 11/9/2009 2:40:26 AM
You'll get a more objective appraisal of someone's true personality by how they treat others and not how they treat you. How they treat you could be salesmanship, which people can keep up for a couple of months in a relationship before reverting to their true colours. It's like a kid with ADHD. He breaks all his toys but he loves toys. He gets a new toy and he loves it, then finally it becomes just like the other toys to him once he gets used to it, so he breaks it. Then he is not happy again until he has another, new toy, which eventually he will break. The one you want is someone who doesn't break any toys, because he's just not like that. The way you tell is you look at how he's been treating his other toys before he got this new one: you. Now I don't mean just girlfriends, I'm talking about how he treats people in general. Is he nice to the waiter? Is he reasonable to a police officer. How does he talk about others? How does he treat someone who is down on their luck or being picked on? Does he care about people or only himself? You get the picture. Have a little character and look at people's character, instead of just how they happen to be making you feel at the time. It always changes you know, feelings aren't stones and when yours and his change, are you still just as much into each other? If someone else becomes his new toy will he break you then, or will he break you before then, as soon as he gets tired of making you feel how you want to feel? Use a little intellect with adult relationships if that is what you're after. It's the adult part of adult relationship.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

how do you go about telling a fling you want more than a fling Posted: 11/6/2009 5:55:20 PM
My own view is you could start by categorising relationships and encounters a bit less. They're not quite so neatly packaged as one might be led to believe.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 16 (view)

ZERO% alcohol for all drivers.... how would that effect your social life? Posted: 11/6/2009 5:47:59 PM
Dude...road rage...

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 37 (view)

Lesbian? Posted: 11/5/2009 6:57:44 PM
Homosexuality describes sexual preference. No homosexual gene has ever been identified (trust me not for lack of looking) and all behavioural studies thus far suggest behaviour is entirely elective but may be situational and circumstantial (ie. nature plus nurture, neither exclusively). Homosexuality is a behavioural descript. It may very well be that the incidence of sexual experimentation in youth has not increased so much as has become more widely reported or socially acceptable with the decline of religious dogma within developed nations. Anecdotally on some popular US based date sites roughly half the female membership lists themselves as bisexual and only a relative minority as gay. for the zen woman above, gay is used to describe female or male homosexuality within the gay community (which includes transgendered and bisexuals). Gay however is often considered ambiguous with regards to women as women who call themselves gay may often be presumed to be bisexual among the general public. There maybe some cultural conservatism in this. Frequently therefore gay women will specify whether they are lesbian (exclusively by inferrence) or bisexual. Even so many women who state clearly they are exclusively lesbian will still be approached by males with bisexual fantasies about women on women threesomes. In any case being that sexuality describes a behavioural preference, it is always subject to change at the whim of the individual, for any reason they care to have. Contrary to ignorant opinion it is neither a medical illness nor a medical disability. It is thus not a physiological aberrance of any kind and appears to have no direct bearing upon psychological health in general. There are interesting studies within the animal kingdom of homosexual behaviour, either as a form of sexual competition or actual physical adaptation to a disproportion of population between the sexes (some species are capable of actually switching sexes for reproductive purposes and species survival). In this light homosexual behaviour was never an unlikely conclusion among humans who've long practised various politicised forms of aristocracy and reduced demographics of mate selection (social class imposition). Put in layman terms a relatively small population demographic have sex a whole lot whilst the majority have far fewer mating opportunities, which may artificially simulate a disproportion of sexes for individuals where actual population of the sexes remains either fairly even or tends to favour females (ie. men should be really swimming in sexual opportunities with nobody not getting laid if it was just a numbers thing). There are equal authorities which argue either side of the genetic/behavioural equation wrt homosexuality, however the driving conclusion is that no homosexual gene has been identified, thus demonstrable physical evidence clearly states at this time, that it is wholly behavioural in nature. That does not mean homosexuals should learn to control themselves in order to observe conservative religious dogma in any democratic society, it means that personal behaviour is a matter of freedom and a right given by any democratic society, failing any criminal intent.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Are guys intimidated by independence? Posted: 11/5/2009 6:20:38 PM
I would think men would want someone who can take care of themselves, and not be too clingy. When would you think this? You're intimidating only because you're closed off intellectually. I haven't looked at your profile but you're what, 25 and already decided you know all about it? This soft side of yours, so what must one do to see it, make all the concessions whilst you tap your foot impatiently and then finally decide to give a little? How many years must someone know you to experience your softness? Could it be that it is you whom is in fact intimidated by the world at large? Arrogance is often confused for strength by those asserting it, in fact this is immaturity so some people can handle you okay they'd just have to play you a bit, what this post is going to do is test your patience and fortitude. Let's see how strong you actually are. So are you strong, or just arrogant? Your ball.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

A question about personality Posted: 11/5/2009 6:07:44 PM
How you described yourself is not how I'd describe you. I think I mentioned ages ago that I did quite like you (though disagree on point matter for some of your views), meaning I do quite like your personality for what it's worth, but the picture you just gave I don't think is quite you, or like I said at least not how I'd describe you as a personality type (though there aren't really types per se). Your personality does suit you well, and you are very attractive, not for the weak willed mind you, but certainly very attractive. Don't worry about it. I picture you hooking up with the kind of feller that other women are jealous of you for, but they're not a dime a dozen. For actual guy advice I'd say go for the crowd looking for classy ladies. Upmarket venues and stuff. And try not to select who you'll date cerebrally, do it by obsession, you'd have a much better time with someone who argues with you incessantly than you would with someone who looks right, you'd think about them more. Just make sure they're someone worth obsessing over at the start, typically by where you meet them. Don't get conned by going for appearances, only date someone with some character substance. Plus otherwise they won't be able to handle you anyway.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 16 (view)

I miss the boy... Posted: 11/5/2009 5:29:22 PM
(I don't know how to make the symbol in your name, but), ~Lady with the black hair~ Start>All Programs>Accessories>System Tools>Character Map

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

I miss the boy... Posted: 11/5/2009 5:26:15 PM
My advice OP is primarily not to view life as some kind of success/failure wrt to being yourself. You were being you, sometimes that doesn't pan out quite how we imagined and that's how we learn the lessons which are relevant to our individual personalities. But personality isn't about learning the right techniques to secure objectives. That would be something else entirely though it's easy to get confused about that when young. The way you acted, the things you did, you did from the heart and they are whom you are all things being equal. You handled things exactly how you would've. In other words you did all the right things and have all the right attitudes. You thought deeply about things, continued to reassess the situation and acted accordingly, you acted with feeling and consideration, you put others before yourself and yet continued to include yourself which is very developed, I think anyone who reads your post couldn't help but to develop a profound respect for you. I think also you are a more forthright and honest person than you give yourself credit for. You weren't lying about how this relationship formed and became committed with Kyle because above and beyond all else you did what you wanted to do. The internal monologue you had previously about becoming his girlfriend under false pretences was just insecure head stuff, you were doing what you wanted to do. So all else aside you wanted to move in, you wanted to be there, you wanted to play his girlfriend for a while. And later you wanted to become more committed about it (which is unfortunately when things all went to shît). So here's the thing. You're more a real human being that a lot of people your age, and as a consequence you've seen a larger life than your years and it seems really big. The love thing. So this Kyle situation seems unique right now but don't get suckered in by Hollywood romance. True for most your age and even some older "love" and relationships are something far more organised, like an employment contract, with terms and rights. You've tasted the kind of relationships you're more suited to, something deeper, bigger, more powerful and involving. I'd say don't confuse this by associating it with just one specific individual. In other words the relationship was the right one but I don't necessarily think Kyle was the right person. Do you follow me here? Let it work out, or not work out or whatever, but self respect the way you are, the decisions you make, don't second guess yourself so much, if something isn't working out then you should know that this is the way you want it, because you do right, trust yourself and have faith in you, or whatever has been guiding you after the fact. It's like playing chess at master level. You have a good plan and it doesn't matter what the opponent does or intends, you make your moves largely irrespective of what they move and the game just works to your favour, because you had a good plan. You trust the plan. You've got a good plan, being whom you are like this, caring and decent, moral and committed, smart and involved. You'll meet another Kyle, have patience for that but let this one go. By the way in your pics you look much better without makeup. You've very nice skin and makeup on it actually takes your appearance down a grade. The next Kyle is going to be a super lucky feller on all counts.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 67 (view)

Rape Posted: 11/5/2009 4:35:32 PM
The blame the victim mentality I think applies to most victims of violent crime and criminally induced circumstances (eg. child abuse leading to youth homelessness). For genuine cases this has to be the saddest part, I think prolly most of the damage to the psyche is done there. Statistically speaking up to around 40% of rape cases are proved false accusation with demonstrable physical evidence such as DNA sampling (this was discussed in a thread a little while ago and I'm recalling some of the figures given in links to various studies), remarkably similar figures between various developed nations such as the US and Australia. False accusation is a crime, being perhaps closer in nature to a white collar crime rather than a violent crime which rape may be described as suggests to many it is less criminal, however it is not. If successful with a false rape accusation in for example a jury trial, an innocent is most definitely victimised very much like rape from the physical where their freedom may be taken and physical abuse become involved, to the stigma associated with a sex offender and its criminal recording. I think an innocent person being successfully prosecuted for rape is as much a victim of rape as anyone. Both are heinous crimes. Of this I have no doubt. In the case in point given for the thread opening, this was a case under the statutory rules of rape, where a position of power is being abused to facilitate sexual intercourse, technically not far removed from statutory rape involving an underage partner. In a strict social environment it may arguably fail the qualification of criminal rape since no audible or physical noncompliance was demonstrated but these are not required for the statutory environment of a professional setting and a position of power. Since the Therapist made no attempt to convene any potential personal relationship development to a social interaction and the acts were performed within the professional environment he most definitely qualifies as a rapist and according to the charges a serial one. Even if the victim had given no demonstable noncompliance and may be regarded as mentally competent and adult, nevertheless I don't believe she is required to under the circumstances, whether she believed she may be in danger or simply that she would receive a financial discount for services rendered is really irrelevant. The key point I think is that the Therapist failed to convene the social relationship to a social environment and thus had abused a position of power, which is statutory rape. It is reasonably likely however given the length of time involved since the statutory (not violent) rape, the arguments involving the victim fearing for her life are related to a compensation claim or concurrant private suit seeking damages. This is just a case of capitalism rather than criminal victimisation, being irrelevant to the terms of the rape. Considering the medical state of the accused and his career employment, it is reasonable to assume what we are talking about is a dementia patient with a sizeable superannuation (probably into 7 figures) and a woman who indeed was victimised, having decided a comfortable settlement for herself as a means of capitalising on the event post trauma. A competency hearing for the accused will probably fail, and he will be medically unfit to face the charges in court, however this would then open the door on a civil proceedings by the "victim," from which I'm guessing she's planned to walk away with something like half a million bucks. Yet more twists and turns on the rape theme.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Why would a guy lead you on for years Posted: 11/4/2009 2:14:54 AM
Sorry to hear that OP. If add Melbourne to one of the cities you live in I'll marry you. You're cute, and running together between Germany, Florida and here would be a great adventure. We have nice beaches and marsupials. :)

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

Ex girlfriend shows up at work, eggs my house. help? Posted: 11/4/2009 2:01:33 AM
Mate seriously get the police involved even if no immediate action is taken, just so you build a repore with them for when those friends of hers roll around to give you a beating. Sorry mate, my instinct tells me that's where this is headed. Happens. At least if you've already been in touch with the police the local station will have some idea what's going on already if you look outside your window and see four guys walking up with bats, and have to call them for attendance. Quickens things up a bit. Oh and don't date psycho druggies. They usually have psycho druggie mates, who bash things. It's the nothing to lose crowd. Honestly I'm sorry to possibly frighten you like this but I think you kinda bought your way into it with this chick. Gotta learn how to keep ahead of stuff like this in life, kiddo.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

How do you trust anyone on dating sites? Posted: 11/4/2009 1:53:15 AM
So long as you use the rule that meeting someone off the internet is exactly the same as meeting a complete stranger for the first time you should be fine. Don't meet them where you would not meet a complete stranger (eg. a deserted park in the middle of the night in a secluded location). Do not volunteer information you would not give a complete stranger (eg. your childrens' school address and walking route to home). Don't kid yourself into thinking they are not a complete stranger (ie. they are). Problems arise when internet dates fail in the above mentioned areas. One young woman recently murdered in Australia met her killers on a vamp/goth fetish website, a father and son who met her at a secluded beach, probably raped her and beat her to death. Nobody knew where she was, who she was meeting, she believed she knew them from online conversations and ran off on the spur of the moment to be with her true love, the son apparently, who was using a false identity on the website in the first place. The thing to remember was that this sort of thing was happening long before the internet, it just happened differently. Gullible girls were picked up in shitty clubs, or at open house parties, or jumped into unfamiliar cars on the street. The key factor is your gullibility here, not the incidence of foul intentions. These have and always will be a human constant. Vigilance and not paranoia is the only answer. These predators will always exist and they are always potentially just around the corner, but thankfully they always only choose easy/available targets and are in the extreme minority. If you are being vigilant about recognising that anyone you meet off the internet is still a complete stranger, you really have nothing to be afraid of. Don't do anything you wouldn't with a complete stranger. Use your common sense.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 25 (view)

Going over to his place..?? Posted: 11/1/2009 1:46:39 AM
Also what Sassy said ^^^ you should read that too.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 24 (view)

Going over to his place..?? Posted: 11/1/2009 1:43:50 AM
Hi OP. You seem to be handling things just fine from where I'm sitting. I think you might have to consider the possibility you'd really prefer someone a little more conservative to date. They are around, do tend to be more among the religious communities though, but srsly you can find easy going agnostics among those who're just into the religion for the family thing and also are very gentlemanly as a matter of course because it's how they've been brought up. Basically I think this guy might not be enough of a gentleman to your lady. And you'll have a much more dreamy relationship if you can find one who is, and it'll definitely be worth the extra time and hassle of finding. Supernerds also tend to be highly considerate, gentlemanly and have good upbringing (in terms of manners and treating ladies). Try a math genius or something. If you go for gamers, avoid those into MMO's and go for game modders or those into RPG, you get the idea. Dating someone with as little experience as you is worth extra relationship points. It's the whole first date. I'm thinking nup, this guy isn't right for you. I suspect you think so too. Please don't try to force yourself to think anything other than your own deepseated intuition and opinions. Don't try to force yourself into dating someone not quite appropriate for you, just because everybody else is dating and you suppose that's how it's done. It's not, that's how people go wrong and wind up undatable later.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 20 (view)

fighting because of facebook..... Posted: 11/1/2009 1:26:27 AM
In the UK a guy murdered his girl friend, because she changed her status to single. Priceless. Actually he murdered his girlfriend because he is a murderer, not because of anything she did. Kudos for relating this as lawful execution however, I assume you're getting counselling? OP get a brazilian if you're going to display your vagina publicly like this. It used to be fairly ordinary guys could get hot girlfriends until at some point through university she realised she's hot property by the sheer number and quality of offers. Now with the internet hot women are realising this pretty much coming out of high school. The quality and frequency of offers for any good looking, reasonably extroverted girl has increased dramatically by the numbers game at sites like facebook and date forums like these. Now all those fantasies people have had over the ages of humanity and the importance of values and personality are being put ever further to the test, and unfortunately as mankind always has, we fail miserably. Even librarians are on BDSM sites now. You know the most common occupation of women I find who seem to place sexual encounter for a relationship preference are young school teachers, man I never knew they were all that horny when I was in school I want to go back now. It has always been very few women are good looking and worth having a conversation with but at least the way it used to be was the majority had fewer options so you could still wind up in a relationship even if 1000 guys all want the only 3 high quality chicks in the town. The other airheads would accept your eyes weren't filled with stars at the very sight of them and still date you, and if you were lucky she was at least hot visually and in the sack. But now...the internet...it's all buggered. Now you have to actually seek out the one who really is right for you and thinks you're really right for her on some level of romance-novel fantasy, and this is the sort of thing which takes a life quest to find, you might maybe meet half a dozen women like that in a lifetime. The shake and bake relationship like Cleo psychologists talk about don't exist anymore except among technophobes who still read Cleo and nobody wants to date them anyway, just a few quickies and see ya later. They wind up on POF manhating as middle aged fatties from the trailer park. Or if they're smart they take up some of those facebook offers whilst they're still young enough to be hot looking and hot in the sack. In short you're doomed. She's going to leave you. Manned up yet? We could do some more bonding if you want but I think at this stage you should be supplying beer.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

Give me a sign, signal....hint, slap upside the head - ANYTHING !!!! Posted: 11/1/2009 12:33:08 AM
I think you prolly chased him away with a childish attitude about sex. It burst the make believe bubble that you were both crazy in love at first email. It was such a nice fantasy, could've been real, shame. Srsly, never choose between someone you like and society's rules about your vag. It's just a vag, nobody actually really cares about it as much as the television commercials and spinster womens magazines make out. If you haven't got a mature, independent attitude about that, imagine what you're like about everything else in a relationship. See he already leapt through how many hoops? And you what, want to make him leap through how many more before some nookie? Honey your vag just isn't gold lined and everybody on earth has a unique personality so big deal about that too. I mean at least you could've let him play in the forest with the promise of tomorrow, but srsly, the peck on the lips was the friendly kiss of "Get lost then, I'll find someone who actually likes me back." It's simple, relationships. Far simpler than all this yank date culture crap. It's much more like two preteens playing house (harmlessly and nonsexually of course). The one playing mommy wears oversized shoes and makes mud pies in the cubby house whilst the one playing daddy enters with a big sigh and says I'm home can I have some tea. Then they peck on the cheek and that's how babies are made. Translation, you like him, he likes you, okay you don't want to be treated badly so is he a nice guy, yes, he doesn't want a Nazi girlfriend so do you have a brain, yes, okay now you kiss, strip and make babies by romantic candlelight and covered in rose petals. How is this difficult? What is there to be uptight about? Maybe it'll work out long term, maybe it won't. You want...an arranged marriage only not? It's like, Oooh I'm such a moron I can't control my vag so I'll have to place some rules on it. Stupid is what that is. Translate this back to the preteens playing house and that's you standing in the cubbyhouse yelling at him and you haven't even hooked up yet. Of course he's going to run for the hills, the little boy would just say, you're stupid and walk out. Yank style date culture imho makes dating a billion times harder for you guys than it actually is. You put so much concoction and preciousness about something as unremarkable as genitals in the way of something so damn simple it's ridiculous. All of you, my advice is go sex up ten men randomly immediately and get over what you seem to think are your better selves. Then date. Cripes, sad is the nation which believes the human soul is genitals. Firmly believes it. Jesus would puke.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

my bf does not call me he only texts me Posted: 10/30/2009 3:53:32 PM
Calm down, you seem a bit anxious and unsure about yourself generally. Most insight about your relationships are very situational and require your clarity and own instincts. Deep down somewhere you'll know where you stand with him. To play interpreter, here is what I think you're saying. You want it to continue, but don't know if you should just pick up where you left off. You should play it by ear, tell him it is because this is important to you that you want to take a step back for a while and move back to the courtship stage. Start over and get to know each other again from a fresh perspective. You are committed, but just want this to work out well and correctly for the future. Tell him if he'd like to ring you and make a date that would be fine. Then leave it in his court. Don't answer any more texts. If he keeps texting and gets angry you're not answering them, repeat the request that he may phone you and make a date if he is interested. Take a step back. Start over. Take it calmly and kindly, but firmly. For what it's worth, that's what I was thinking.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

what Do I do about this??? daft question.. Posted: 10/30/2009 3:42:26 PM
Cut him off OP. Close the book on that part of your life with no further contact and start over. If you have something to say to him, do it through a restraining order. In other words there is nothing to say. Dump this baggage right now and don't look back. You're better than this, I've got an instinct for that. Listen to your friends.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

mate poaching (women who insist on taking another woman's man)? Posted: 10/30/2009 3:01:15 AM
Actually if you've got more personality and less sleaze it's easier to get interest from girls in current relationships (by that I mean you're not covering up being abusive by being smooth, you are honest and open, genuine all the time and aren't in any way deceiving or full of crap). It's like they finally look past all the initial salesmanship now and examine personalities for what they are. Many seem to find the guy they thought was hot isn't so good to actually be in a relationship and get wandering eyes wondering where they went wrong. Just saying, I'm hopeless at competing for attention with single girls, but lots of attached women give me the kind of signals (invite me out for drinks etc.) that make me have to go away and stop talking to them (because I am indeed a little lonely). So maybe there is something to home wrecking other than stealing so to speak. Perhaps people put to much bullcrap in front of themselves when choosing relationships, and get clearer vision once they're in one.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

Vodka....please explain ladies!! Posted: 10/30/2009 2:53:01 AM
Yup smart money has it on the on vodka freeze. Ethanol and methanol is used as an antifreeze in aircraft water injection systems. Hilly I will happily give you green chartreuse roots instead. Fcuk bourbon. I may talk about valkyries while we're doing it though. They're everywhere.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

men...how do we figure them out. Posted: 10/29/2009 2:41:22 AM
No no no, you see you're middle aged mixed and average, which means exotic curry sex with exceptional libido. You're hot dear. Let's do it.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Sophistication or simplicity ? Posted: 10/29/2009 2:17:01 AM
If you were 30yrs younger I'd totally do you

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

men...how do we figure them out. Posted: 10/29/2009 2:14:36 AM
I'll try to put this gently. According to your profile you're fat middle aged and Christian. I'm going to stop talking now or else I'll get banned again. Jesus and you think we're the hard ones to figure out.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

Strangers on the net, exchanging details Posted: 10/29/2009 1:59:08 AM
Surely it adds content to know I could be masturbating as I write this reply to you, Naamah. Maybe not full blown masturbation, just a little touching, you know, because I like you and it's private. Oops.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 108 (view)

Robot lovers - yes or no? Posted: 10/27/2009 9:53:43 PM
According to both anthropic principle and demonstrable in physics it is possible for AI to spontaneously evolve in highly complex processors, much more complicated than what are used today however, more than just binary information would have to form the core language. Early AI will most likely be simply low IQ machines. I read an Aasimov story as a kid about an AI guidence and detonation system put on a massive warhead, the three laws of robotics had driven it insane, any task it would ever be asked to perform whether to blow up or disarm would break each of them, so it decided to arm itself and simply live out its purpose sooner rather than later. If we're going to really have replicants the pros and cons are obviously disproportionate to the evolution of AI. With AI they become little or no different and are likely to have the same quirks and irrational complexities as people. They might glow instead of sweat or something but essentially there'll still be some mechanical/biomechanical descriptor of thought processes being the two are inexorably linked. It will get excited physically when inspired intellectually, etc., our own bodies and minds are essentially biomechanical engines and this is how they work. At worst replicants will be a more primitive version of ourselves mechanically speaking, it is us that aren't too far removed from machines rather than the other way around. As for superstitions about "the soul" even Catholicism will recognise the body as a vassal for the divine spirit, a machine, and prior to Catholicism the Judaic belief in the soul is nothing like Platoic thought and relates only to mechanical life meaning literally, "mortal breath". Without AI involved the pros are no rejection, the cons are no satisfaction. Your partner cannot reciprocate, they will not orgasm because you are satisfying them, or because they adoring you so much more lately for various mundane reasons. So the sad and somewhat amusing conclusion is that were we to develop replicants as sexbots they'd most likely evolve AI, chase sleazebags, whinge about their choices in men and losers can forever get rejected by them just as much as regular women. As for male sexbots they'll sex up only Hollywood starlets being they'll outdo any lesser human in the sack hands down. If you built fifty billion of them they'd rather wait in line outside Angelina Jolie's bedroom than go near most of you out there and if they changed their mind about that they'd get depressed turn into pissheads and get fat, stinky, ugly and lazy trying not to think about how unremarkable you are. Some might develop a hitting fetish and deal with it that way, or just go playa and try to have fun without meaningful sex in their lives, or become gaybots. It's just that more of them will be hot, we'll build them that way, very very few will be built to satisfy fat and ugly fetishes, average will be HOT as hell. It'll be like walking around China.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Do You Think People Are Possessions? Posted: 10/27/2009 8:38:28 PM
Six figure financial support and open relationship to any woman prepared to put up with him, if this guy isn't obese as an apartment block having a fat party I'd say he definitely is possessed. Put simply I think the thread strategically achieved him a filled inbox of barbies. He's probably a plumber from connecticut paying four sets of alimony. This thread should be enshrined in gold to show Nigerian scammers how it's done.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

Ratio of men to women with degrees on POF 5:1 !! Posted: 10/27/2009 8:17:32 PM
bix tendencies works too Hilly. I want to do you now and I don't care how fat you are. Bring those rolls of fat over here baby! Bix and vampires are HOT

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Harry & The Impersonators Posted: 10/27/2009 8:06:11 PM
Well in all fairness if you went to the American deep south and called someone a creole cream you'd be making a direct reference to a half breed slaver's **stard descendent. Quite an insult as I understand it. Or you could be ordering some biscuits with your tea, I can never get the two properly sorted. Yes yanks are wankers but conversely when a majority population outside your country calls you wrong, chances are you're wrong and they've got nukes. The US is pretty big on running around telling countries what's wrong with them these days, we should be careful we don't get policed for terrorist Anti-American sentiments not practising their legal and governing system here and generally being less arsemonkey. Remember it's not who's right or wrong that's important, it's that Americans are always right.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

So as summer approaches, are we Fire Ready this time? Are you? Posted: 10/27/2009 7:59:21 PM
I'm applying for a grant to keep my bladder topped up in case of emergencies. There is nothing XXXX can't do.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

Ratio of men to women with degrees on POF 5:1 !! Posted: 10/27/2009 7:55:23 PM
If you're not a peasant then you're a poseur. You cannot escape the wrath of arbitrary marginalisation. Escape that you would into the library and we will simply chase you there with religion versus science and Dan Brown. Make your anthropological collations for it is always the medium which is 100 and we are they, it is you little man whom thus spake of variance. You are no more than Brownian motion in a sea of table salt and I would be proud to do any woman here if she isn't fat. Srsly, fat is creepy, I'm open on everything else, k? Pregnant is okay but 1) I get to make you pregnant and 2) no cooking up the placenta that is too weird to even discuss. And we sell the kid.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

How to end a FWB relationship that is soooo good Posted: 10/27/2009 5:10:26 AM
Break his penis. Older girls that get violent with sex are scary. On the plus side you get to push him away by really getting into wanting him more. More dammit. More. You get the idea. Slap him. Dig the nails in. Hurt him. Call him a ****. I dunno, you seem to be asking how you can make this your really great fail in life and cry and get tremendously depressed. You may as well get violent all the good that's going to do you. Just enjoy it or move on maturely.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

Can you be friends with someone that hurt you? Posted: 10/27/2009 5:03:14 AM
Nah you can be friends with them. Feed them arsenic over time. A little in their tea, a little in the biscuits. Spikey things hurt. You will continue to learn this like Homer Simpson. Eventually you may decide to put the spikey things down and play with things that don't hurt you.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 35 (view)

What makes a player ? Posted: 10/27/2009 4:58:53 AM
If it's all a game to you, you're a playa. You've heard the term game, got his game on, etc. Player relates to that. In the world of natural selection it's a good thing, means you're ahead of the pack. In a moral world it's a bad thing, you're inconsiderate, put yourself before others, take candy from babies. Social life is actually based on natural selection, but you are also required to look moral. This is a playa. So therefore playa is a term for subculture, something you keep within the group. You don't shout playa down the local cop shop when someone's trying to convince the police they didn't do anything wrong, for example. Playa means alpha male. Women who say no players mean they want an alpha male who won't do them wrong. It's like asking a croc not to bite you. Asking the wrong fellers. What they won't do is go for the friend over the excitement. Instead they put people who aren't exciting and sexy in the friend zone and chase down anything that gets their heart racing. It's another case of refusing to put their money where their mouths are, thinking the whole world owes them for a vagina. And asking for the exact trouble they claim a disaste for. The way you call someone a player is you high five them and say, playa! Personally I don't like players either, probably because I'm not gangsta so it's just not my thang. But I'd feel like a real moron if I wrote "no players" on a dating profile. What is this, Brooklyn? California State University? (same lingo, weird) And I fcuking hate all those people who take popular street slang and tell us what it means to them. Who fcuking cares what it means to you. It's a street term, it either has an independent meaning or you don't know what you're talking about and should just STFU and stop being such a middle class yank.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 23 (view)

How to know if he Likes you, Likes you Posted: 10/27/2009 4:27:51 AM
Uh-oh, could be a momma's boy. According to your profile you'd have to give him the flick. None of the things you mentioned necessarily mean anything. Kissing, hand holding, etc. mean only what they are, the whole trick about body language is that it is very subjective and must be metered with an objective intuition about the situation. It is easy to always be wrong. If you try to read them like a book you will really be conning yourself every time, then inevitably blame him when you realise you got something wrong. Usually when people try to turn their personal techniques of figuring out the world into a science or perfect it they lose touch with what they had in the first place. Frequently it is your ability to maintain childlike eyes which give you insight into another person's behaviour or character. This too is subjective and easily manipulated, but if you manage to not take it too seriously and keep what seems to be working for you without looking too deeply into it, you can remain an intuitive person. In other words the fact that you appear to think little of this gesture at the time (the backward glance, at this particular instance, although obviously noting it) suggests that it was probably nothing. Trying to find more in it as a science of behaviour I think only removes you from your own instinct and may lead you from your instincts in future. What was your impression at the time? is the appropriate answer.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Robot lovers - yes or no? Posted: 10/27/2009 4:14:26 AM
Of course anyone would do a terminatrix like Summer Glau but... Site has a content warning, but main page is safely PG http://www.realdoll.com/ They're not animate though, I imagine that would be like doing a dead thing which walks and talks, an undead thing, sort of like the way a vamp fetish is really necrophilia when you think about it, if you're really into that fantasy to its limit. Personally I just think they're too expensive. Okay and a little bit freaky but hey it's all legal. I like the way they're built up from a working skeletal structure to be as realistic as possible, a real dead body made of latex with optional human hair.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 20 (view)

Lesbian Attraction? Posted: 10/25/2009 10:35:05 PM
People look attractive when they are themselves without pretension, it is always therefore an example of a unique individual and interesting at worst. It has nothing to do with sexuality or technique. Entitlements and presumptions would be the pretension I was talking about. But then the same person looks totally different to different people, less or more honest, less or more unique and individual. Just don't try to be "you" on purpose, be "you" accidentally is always best. Otherwise go for salesmanship but I think satisfying greed a poor substitute for human relationships.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Lost in Translation Posted: 10/25/2009 10:25:45 PM
Feel bad for you mate but you've gotta keep the take it or leave thing going, crushed flowers holding them too tight and all that. Not much you can do but cut it loose and if the opportunity presents itself try to start over. Hopefully she'll see this thread and realise you feel bad and she may have judged you too quickly. What happens though is even the right girl walks away when there are too many fails, typically they cascade so women decide their best matches belong in the friend zone. Truth is there is some control over sexual direction, and youthood is where it becomes aligned for better or worse. Relatively few people remain good for true love by middle age if they didn't luck on it early on, things like this would be why. I only go on this much about this because you said you're a philosopher so might make some sense of it (otherwise I'd have left it after the first paragraph). Conclusion is leave it, plan for the worst but sure still hope for the best. You never know what's around the corner.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

curious to hear how you see things, looking for insight... Posted: 10/24/2009 2:08:34 AM
i met brad (named changed) here on POF over a year ago, for 3 months things were awesome and things naturaly progressed, then... it'll all started to change, without warning he backed right off and became closed off. I eventually confronted him about this Everything after this seems to change the subject completely but I'm sure it looks great on a resume. This part however, looks like a plain and simple case of relationship fail. You look like you're pretty determined to drag it through the mud first but.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

what does he want??? Posted: 10/24/2009 1:51:13 AM
Hi Shell. I really hate these kind of replies and I'm a bit embarressed to give it but I think he's prolly just a jerk, mate. You seem a really nice lady and some low brow is just jerking you around a bit because he can, not that it's more intentional than just his complacency but this doesn't change result. A good guy can wrap his head around being considerate I think. It's still much worth it to be a cool chick though, I'm sure this won't have changed you but I say don't waste too much thought on him. I'd date you, you look sexy, kind and decent. I may be a bad example though because it's been a while and I'm feeling a little emotional, I want cuddles just now. How about this, dating you would obviously raise a guy's value. So place it somewhere worthy, it's like a character reference.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Different approach to online dating Posted: 10/24/2009 1:34:53 AM
^ it's totally true. Hilly tried me and I was an inconsiderate lover. I loved it too much but it's not about me. I think it important to understand this OP and you should put bisexual in your sexual prefences and show a bit of leathery kink on those pics to spice it up a bit. Hilly has the horse, Naamah well is just Naamah, LULT has those spectacles (sexeh), and I've got pajama pants. I won't mention about other guys here because I just don't want to explore myself that far but one has a plane (think mile high club) and Julian stole Michael Hutchience's face I think he's a necro. You'll get there. You need a theme. Whiney is a poor choice. A manager at work is whiney. She gives me bad rosters. I hate her.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 20 (view)

Why do men with kids respond to my ad? Posted: 10/24/2009 12:46:53 AM
I like Shaitan. OP = fail. ninja disappear

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

Single for a month... Posted: 10/19/2009 5:09:55 PM
Oh this is easy. You're still fascinated by your vag. It was supposed to pass oh, when you were 13 but didn't and now you're the s-word. The answer is easy but you've never wanted to hear it and it does go against most of your culture. Govern yourself. You can tell yourself you can't control hormones and everything you want, but the truth is in ten or twenty years you're still going to be judged on everything you did as if that was the way you chose it. Because it is.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

How Can I Tell if it's a Line? Posted: 10/19/2009 5:05:50 PM
Buy a pair of those 3D glasses you can get in magic shops and put them on. Then look at your date and see if he has any noncorporal horns on his head. Best way to tell.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

57 channels and nothin' on Posted: 10/19/2009 5:02:22 PM
Sounds like you need to broaden your entertainment genres mate. I know something you may like. You know dungeons and dragons, now don't laugh, and I am talking the one with the dice and not computer games (though they're good too). Well there's one called BloodBowl where you get all the creatures from Dungeons and Dragons, elves, halflings and demons and dragons and you put them on two grid iron teams and have at it. Think: Lord of the Rings only they're arguing over a ball and not rings. It's actually pretty good but alcohol and other recreational drug use is mandatory for best enjoyment. It has a little following like those Warhammer tournaments you see in that GamesWorkshop store in supermarkets. Some of the classic games have been between a team of 24-ft tall StormGiants and 3-ft halflings. The Storm Giants won that one, basically one giant picked up the ball at the start of the match, held it over his head and proceeded to trample the enemy team to death. Not called Blood Bowl for no reason. What you have is a set of points for each team, and you get to spend them any way you want on players. Tougher players cost more money. You can have an elven wizard on your team, which is really handy because at the start of the game he just Fireballs the enemy team and casts a Wall of Force in front of them, then casually walks over to place the ball on the goal posts. But of course the enemy team might've spent their points on a demon who isn't really bothered by fire and is immune to most magic. And then you can use tactics like ambushing the enemy team as they arrive at the venue on their bus, spend of few of your team points and you can hire assassins to thin their numbers before they even get to the field. You get the picture. No idea what this Will Ferrel crap for.

vanaheim

Joined: 6/6/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

So he/she USED to be Gay/Lesbian! Would you still date them? Posted: 10/19/2009 2:03:29 AM
I have no problem at all if my SO drops the gaybomb and tells me she used to be lesbian until 2yrs ago. Honestly I'd have a bigger problem if she told me she was bisexual today. You see because I know that qualified geneticists have yet to identify any homosexual descriptors satisfactorily in the face of peer review. And I know that despite the fantastic aspirations many gay/bi individuals and also many others might claim, relatively few who claim to hold detailed insight to the human genome are in fact qualified geneticists. Finally I know that the term homosexual describes the physical act of same sex relations, whilst there is also a subcultural fashion of gay/lesbian/bi individuals whom also I fully support for their right to individuality, freedoms, etc. but a subculture and a noun are two different things. And once again claims are just claims unless you've got the evidence sitting there in front of you. Thus you see, if she told me she used to be a lesbian obviously she is referring to having previously slept with women exclusively. Good for her (way to go for the girls), at least her sexual desires are being satisfied by me today, honestly I'm honoured. But if she told me she was bisexual today like some of you seem to prefer, then she's telling me right now, or just after we'd made it, she wouldn't mind a bit of pus-sy (edit: a frackin date site censors pus-sy? wtf is this christians international?). I think that's asking for trouble. Like all other behaviour you are dealing with nature versus nurture and the consensus by the scientific community is it's always a bit of both in every case, but choice is choice and wherever possible and reasonable should be free and facilitated by any conscionable government. In other words I can easily envision statements relating to sexuality made by individuals, particularly when involved in serious relationships to be as likely dissertations and commitment as they are observations and whimsy, in either case they may be described as sentiments. So to my lesbian girlfriend, after jumping on the bed and calming my glee, I'd just check that she liked me now though. Then get back to the celebration and hump her four hundred times a day for a week.

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