Any woman with a Mid-Wife Crisis is a petulant little bitch who can’t accept that being happy isn’t chat & forums.

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whitesox_fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 733 (view)

Any woman with a Mid-Wife Crisis is a petulant little bitch who can’t accept that being happy isn’t Posted: 11/24/2009 8:57:15 PM
Marriage is a daily compromise of your money, time, and happiness for the senseless whims of some unpredictable ** who stopped maturing when she started menstruating. Short version: marriage. Today, I have a new reason why none of you men should get married. And that reason comes from the last place you would ever expect: Oprah Magazine. Gentlemen, I present the Mid-Wife Crisis. Get ready to see a journalist package self-loathing and selfishness as introspection — and then sell that shit to the dumbest bunch of cows on Earth: readers of Oprah Magazine. Read this for a reason to say, “I don’t.” This post is a reply to an article published in Oprah Magazine entitled, “She’s happily married, dreaming of divorce.” What is a Mid-Wife Crisis? Oprah Magazine calls a “Mid-Wife Crisis” a “period of high irritation” lasting “one to two decades”, in which a married woman is nagged by lingering regrets over her marriage. During this time she constructively “resents the shit out of her husband”, “acts like a little, and “makes life y and miserable for anyone who gives a shit about her stupid ass.” One to two decades? That means your average Oprah wife is a grumpy, passive-aggressive princess for twice as long as her average marriage! A “Mid-Wife Crisis” can more easily be explained as every man’s worst nightmare: a sexless marriage that can only be solved by writing a big ing check. Today, I’m going to explore this phenomenon as experienced by Ellen Tien of Oprah Magazine. I’m sure you will see (as I have) that all this bullshit is nothing more than the half-assed rantings of a neurotic, 30-something whore who thinks her husband owes her personal happiness. Your husband is not your personal ing Santa Claus, Ellen. It’s not his fault you’re miserable. It’s just his fault you have a roof over your head while you pout. Happiness is like orgasms. If you don’t work for it, you don’t get any. How Can I Have a Mid-Wife Crisis? In her shitty article, Ellen quotes a small sample of minor grievances and narcissistic assumptions as evidence to support her husband’s general “crapness”. In theory, it is the forced acceptance of this “crapness” through publishing that ultimately validates her own projected feelings of worthlessness. But I’ll get to that later. “I contemplate divorce every day. It tugs on my sleeve each morning when my husband, Will, greets me in his chipper, smug morning-person voice, because after 16 years of waking up together, he still hasn’t quite pieced out that I’m not viable before 10 a.m.” -Ellen Tien you, . Get out of bed and be glad someone wants to see your ed-up, ugly ass before Maybelline takes ten years off. Cunt Buttons “Not being a morning person” is what I call aButton. And it’s a collection of these arbitraryButtons that make up every woman’s personality. For example, some women “really care about the environment”. That’s aButton. If you hit it, said girl will act like a total because you left the faucet running for thirty seconds while you brushed your ing teeth. Big deal. If saving Mother Earth is so important, why don’t you turn your car off at stop lights? Because women are never to themselves. Not being a “morning person” is anotherButton; one that is commonly found alongside a fanatically practiced morning coffee routine and a confusion between confidence and arrogance. They hand these out in a combo pack at the same place women pick up their Barbie Briefcases. It’s no surprise that Ellen has the first at least! your husband for wanting to see you in the morning, right honey? I’m with you. He ed up by marrying your ass in the first place. Just look at the difference a ring makes. Married Women Are Old Here’s another gem. “…with our 21st-century access to youth …we are still visually tolerable if not downright irresistible when we’re 30 or 35 or 40.” -Ellen Tien False. None of you ing broads are worth shit after 26. I’ll humor you to get head. I’ll say whatever it takes to . But not one of you is irresistible. You’re just desperate. To girls with a choice, there’s a difference. A woman’s self-esteem is maintained by continually burning cash — sometimes by shoving it directly into her ass. Once they’ve been married for a few years, women are so desperate for a free drink, they’ll let any loser with a credit card line up some shots. That’s the grace and beauty of an unmarried 40 year old woman. Don’t Eat Shit “Marriage and its cruel cohort, fidelity, are a lot to expect from anyone, much less from swift-flying us.” -Ellen Tien Women all want to see themselves as whatever would happen if you bred Lucy Lawless with Tina Fey. Some Amazonian freak who’s inner strength was matched only by her inner beauty which was also matched by her inner irresistible quirkiness. And this myth of the over-acheiving, hyper-independant Woman 2.0 is never more prevalent as it is in journalism. The truth is, women are just as incompetent today as they were fifty years ago. And they’re ten times as desperate for a man. , today’s modern girl considers herself a spinster at the age of 23. As well she should! If she hasn’t gotten at least one proposal before daddy’s done paying for college, panic sets in like crows feet. Infidelity and the Call of the Slut is the last refuge of a desperate woman trying to convince herself that she’s having a good time. Women hate sex. It’s easy for them to get and since men will pay for it, it’s a loss if they don’t cash in on the highest bid. Calling women sluts when they sleep around is like calling Mike Tyson aead for beating up a random guy. Yes ladies, we get it. You’re great boxers. But you’re still ing sluts. Men sleeping around is like a new Rocky sequel. You know he’s gonna win, but he’s still gonna work his goddamn ass off. Children: Tools To Shame “I watch in frustration as my son desperately tries to talk to Will through a newspaper or computer screen or whatever other large, flat surfaces fathers place between themselves and filial communication, and yet I know in my heart that I would be mightily hard-pressed to remove this father from his son’s house.” you, Ellen. Children talk about dumb bullshit all day. You can listen to every forth sentence and still know exactly what they’re talking about. If it’s not some goddamn toy they want, it’s some goddamn toy they don’t like. And if it’s not that then it’s something they want attention for. Maybe constant attention isn’t something today’s children need. When you tell children everything they shit out is a work of art, they turn into mumbling, mush-mouth little pussies who can’t deal with real life. Ellen, you don’t even know how to be a mother properly so shut your goddamn pie hole. Why not learn the basics of motherhood before trying your Papa Hat on and internationally criticizing a man who’s doing a perfectly fine job of ignoring your chatty little brat. How to be a Mother: Rule #1 Don’t Remove the ing Father Children without fathers are 100% more likely to fail than their fatherful brethren. We all know that Genius is 1% Inspiration and 99% Perspiration. But what we don’t know is that Perspiration is 1% having seen the movie Die Hard and 99% having a ing father around to piss you off. That’s what fathers do. They make you a little pissed off and that makes you kick ass. “But what if the father is abusive, That makes your generalized statement wrong in one extreme case, you gay queer. How does it feel to be wrong? Call me!” If the father is abusive, so is the mother. How the do you think he got there? Either way the kid’s ed. You, Ellen Tien The real reason all you selfish, con artist wives out there “silently” resent your husbands for one to two decades is because you’re disappointments as wives and mothers and you ing know it. Get him before he gets you. That’s the game. And there’s no more womanly way to do that than by keeping track of minor grievances. But you’re women. Why realize any of this and fix it when you could just blame the nearest man, take half his money, and get someon the side when circumstances get beyond your control. Right, Ellen? When Oprah Magazine is your conscience, you can sign your own report card. You know what, don’t, “ you, Ellen Tien.” You’re just a writer filling pages between tampon ads of an emotional smut rag targeted towards the world’s biggest cash cow: American women. Don’t get me wrong, women all over the world are just as stupid as American women — and hate responsibility just as much — there just aren’t as many of them and international distribution is a pain in the ass. Oprah Instead, you Oprah. I ed your psychiatrist. I’ll you too. Marriage is Retirement for Women The reason not-so-happily married women don’t work for their own happiness is because women see marriage as retirement. That’s why the number of bridal magazines outnumber finance magazines 140 to 97. They’re both covering the same thing: retirement, women just need extra instruction. Men are better than women. Manclusion: The “Good Woman” Dr. Phil told me that all I needed was a “good woman” and I would shut my ass up — and possibly feel stupid for saying so many hilarious and 100% true things all these years. I want all you men to look at the woman who wrote this article. She’s clearly “good” enough to maintain a job as a writer. She’s clearly “good” enough to not be swinging around a pole for dollar bills ya’ll. She’s clearly “good” enough to think she’s not a skank. But how good is a “good” woman really? Any woman with a Mid-Wife Crisis is a petulant little who can’t accept that being happy isn’t someone else’s responsibility. It’s not a husband’s responsibility to make his ing wife happy. It’s a husband’s responsibility to not act like aead on purpose. Apparently, a “good woman” isn’t good enough to realize that. Way to go Phil. You really **ing nailed that one. She’s happily married, dreaming of divorce. Magazine Trends

whitesox_fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 81 (view)

after you cum.. (mainly for guys) Posted: 10/23/2009 8:15:38 AM
He even put in the title "Mostly for men", but all these women feel a need to respond to something they could never understand... sounds like me ex-wife.

whitesox_fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 80 (view)

after you cum.. (mainly for guys) Posted: 10/23/2009 8:09:28 AM
Green carrot is right on with this post! What he is going through is a maturing process that some men never get too! So all the women giving him crap, and taking shots at him are morons... He is just realizing that it is essential to be in love to make love. Where as MANY men can just have sex with anyone and its all the same... I have experienced the exact same thing... after being in a relationship with someone I really connected with, then going back to the dating scene and having to weed through all the dates with no true connection...

whitesox_fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 129 (view)

Men? We Like It Gentle Posted: 10/23/2009 7:28:50 AM
yeah... your way off... many women like it rough... especially the squirters...

whitesox_fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 35 (view)

would you date a guy who doesn't believe in education-content with his job Posted: 10/22/2009 8:11:40 PM
how shallow... not everyone has to make a bunch of money to be happy with who they are... sounds like a gold-digger...

whitesox_fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 109 (view)

Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left.. Posted: 10/22/2009 7:58:28 PM
this is funny... but would have been even funnier if he left you with the check

whitesox_fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 50 (view)

complaining about paying for dinner. Posted: 10/22/2009 7:37:37 PM
I think most men dont mind paying for dinner at all... it's just that women like you who somehow think they deserve or expect it that make us angry... all you have to do is over to pay something... especially on the first date! I mean really; y'all wanted equal rights... make as much $$$ as we do...etc. But when the check shows up, equal rights is out the door! This whole attitude of "oh here I am, swoon over me cuz I am a woman" is moronic... What do you have to offer me? How are you going to impress me? There are plenty of fish in the sea... Then you wonder why men like submissive women from other countries who are still old fashioned and appreciate men... Rub N' Tugs are a bargain compared to a night out on the town with some woman who thinks her sh#t dont stink... BTW: dont listen to these guys who like hairy bush! that is gross! I shave my junk, so please keep yurs clean shaven too...

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 63 (view)

I like to push her head down until she gags. They seem to like that a lot. Try it fellas. Posted: 10/11/2009 3:28:22 PM
"I like to push her head down until she gags. They seem to like that a lot. Try it fellas." I like to hold thier head down till they gag too... while holding her nose closed too... while also clutching a handful of hair... I also like when they grab me by the back of my head and force my face into that wonderful pink taco

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 109 (view)

Sucking during and after sex? Posted: 10/11/2009 1:04:15 PM
redlance! marry her asap! or fork over her number please...

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 39 (view)

Why wont they swallow? Posted: 10/11/2009 1:00:33 PM
its from the bladder. its urine.

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 36 (view)

Why wont they swallow? Posted: 10/11/2009 11:46:30 AM
it comes from the bladder! its urine.

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 248 (view)

why the prettier the woman, the worse she is in bed or giving head? Posted: 10/10/2009 11:49:53 PM
Rod, your right about the strippers... always a sure thing. there are exceptions to every rule...

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 233 (view)

why the prettier the woman, the worse she is in bed or giving head? Posted: 10/10/2009 11:21:52 AM
I couldnt agree more!!! I've been saying this for years.... Why do they think just looking good is enough? Tired of these trophy girls that couldnt give head good enough to save thier own life...

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Does sex feel different with someone you love? Posted: 10/9/2009 8:54:35 PM
100% better with someone you love and respect... should go without saying...

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 35 (view)

Paying for Sex-Can cost you your job?! Posted: 10/9/2009 7:18:54 PM
I think the law firm did what was necessary. However, its a shame that prostitution is illegal... Its a victimless crime! I mean who is getting hurt? especially if it was regulated. Lets face it those ladies provide a service... they do all the stuff you cant talk your GF or WIFE into doing. And they do it with enthusiasm and without ANY drama... the guy was a genius. The rest of us are getting married/divorced; loosing fortunes and dealing with a lifetime of drama... all cuz we just want are sexual desires met... just my opinion.

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 35 (view)

How often do condoms really break? Posted: 10/7/2009 3:18:26 PM
I used to have them break often... till I tried Magnums, now it never breaks. My junk was too big for regular condoms

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 26 (view)

Need Help Re: Gay male question Posted: 10/6/2009 7:47:11 PM
you can say your not gay, but your under suspicion now...

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 90 (view)

credit card # ? Posted: 10/6/2009 7:42:09 PM
Tito, did you post your credit card number in post above?? LOL dam, you really do want some sex toys huh??

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 97 (view)

another name... Posted: 10/6/2009 7:37:19 PM
another name would be controlled rape http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Controlled%20Rape&defid=4140240

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 96 (view)

FANTASY RAPE Posted: 10/6/2009 7:33:27 PM
sounds like fun! I'd try anything as long as nobody gets hurt I like her already...

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 89 (view)

Adam & Eve Posted: 10/6/2009 7:18:28 PM
who is adam and eve ????

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 119 (view)

yarimelma Posted: 10/6/2009 5:12:45 PM
the ignorance is astounding.... yarimelma is obviously a child left behind. The lack of common knowledge about herpes shows that he missed a few days of sex education! yarimelma has just the**** attitude that will land a herpes sore right on him someday! good luck with that you ignorant f@#&.

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 118 (view)

and secondly how did u get it ? Posted: 10/6/2009 5:03:55 PM
LOL!! how do you get it???? your joking right?? duh!

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

After Intimacy why do guys usually back off? Posted: 10/6/2009 4:12:34 PM
i like NIN during sex...

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 87 (view)

any ideas for masturbation ? Posted: 10/6/2009 3:18:36 PM
Have you tried ass-play? Try CARROT or CUCUMBER ... Put yur finger in yur butt very slowly... dont shove it in, just put it in slow... your butt will let it in on its own... do this while rubbing on off!

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 54 (view)

Straight men and Anal play - yay or nay? Posted: 10/6/2009 2:59:22 PM
yay! bring it! Every guy has two levels of orgasm: 1) This is the easy one that just about comes out on its own... very little stimulation needed. 2) This one shoots out like a firehose! And only happens when your partner is wearing just the right sexy clothes, saying the dirty stuff we want to hear and doing the dirty stuff we want! Like a prostate massage I remember the first time i had a level two! It felt so good I thought I could read Arabic!

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 291 (view)

Fetish ? Posted: 9/25/2009 1:39:59 PM
Its not a fetish. Dee Dee Dee! Sexual fetishism, or erotic fetishism, is the sexual arousal brought on by any object, situation or body part not conventionally viewed as being sexual in nature. Sexual fetishism may be regarded, e.g. in psychiatric medicine, as a disorder of sexual preference or as an enhancing element to a relationship. The sexual acts involving fetishes are characteristically depersonalized and objectified, even when they involve a partner.[1] Body parts may also be the subject of sexual fetishes (also known as partialism) in which the body part preferred by the fetishist takes a sexual precedence over the owner. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_fetishism

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 47 (view)

Is it worthwhile paying a woman to be arm-candy, so I can more easily meet other women? Posted: 9/25/2009 12:31:41 PM
NerdyLoser, your posts are off the reservation... your like worse than the 40 year virgin! get a grip dude! Get off the forums and onto a couch in therapy! If your gonna pay a girl, just get an escort and have sex with her too, WTF? LOL

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 287 (view)

The shaving craze Posted: 9/25/2009 12:26:38 PM
Ladies keep it shaved! Dont listen to these guys on here who like a hairy bush! Its gross! I shave my junk every two days !! Why would I expect a woman to put my hair junk in her mouth?? I expect the same! Oh yeah, who gives a rats ass what acent romans liked?? WTF!

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 188 (view)

Why do some men believe receiving anal from a female is a homosexual act? Do you like it? Posted: 9/25/2009 12:17:11 PM
I remember the first time a women put her finger in my arse while she was blowing me... OMG, I came so hard... and it felt so good, I felt like I could read ARABIC!!

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 186 (view)

Heterosexual sex is heterosexual. Posted: 9/24/2009 5:47:19 PM
The ignorance and closed mindness of the men on here is asstounding! Now I know why there are so may women not getting the orgasms they disserve!! And why so many women ive dated think i'm a sexual dynamo!! LOL!! This was enlighting post...

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 58 (view)

What is it that natural seducers have that guys like me don't? Posted: 9/24/2009 5:30:10 PM
its simple... just be aggresive. Pull thier hair & treat them like shit... ignore them. And they will fall in love with you. Its sad but true!

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 36 (view)

To cum or not to cum Posted: 9/24/2009 5:22:00 PM
A dude squirter!!! too funny!

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 23 (view)

Women who don't want to date single fathers Posted: 9/23/2009 10:54:53 PM
I can understand why people may have this as a stipulation... speaking for myself, I dont ever rule out a single mother, however because I know my lifestyle of going out alot, late at night... to see local musicians... I find that women with kids arent going to be able to keep up with me.... and then I'll just find someone who can...

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 22 (view)

favorite topics to debate? Posted: 9/23/2009 10:48:13 PM
I once dated a woman who had dumped her prior BF cuz he didnt know what the mason/dixon line was!! and because he put salt on all his food... LOL! DiggerRoxx, what are your favorite topics to debate? Mine are Religion, Politics, Current Events & Militant femenism / Equal rights....

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 18 (view)

It's my personal preference to by pass the generic "wanna chat" emails. Posted: 9/23/2009 10:33:01 PM
I prefer the "wanna drink or party" emails myself

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

Suggestion to the ladies - Keywords that will make REAL men run! Posted: 9/23/2009 10:15:37 PM
ahhh wikipedia & urbandictionary.com all the urban person needs :) Women are on loan from God, incredible creatures of passion.... hard for me to compare them to livestock...

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

Suggestion to the ladies - Keywords that will make REAL men run! Posted: 9/23/2009 10:07:54 PM
Kudos!!! DiggerRoxx! agreed.

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

Suggestion to the ladies - Keywords that will make REAL men run! Posted: 9/23/2009 10:05:42 PM
LOL! interesting choice of words dichoTommy... "Culling" Culling is the process of removing animals from a group based on specific criteria. This is done in order to either reinforce certain desirable characteristics or to remove certain undesirable characteristics from the group. For livestock and wildlife, the process of culling usually implies the killing of animals with undesirable characteristics. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culling

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

Suggestion to the ladies - Keywords that will make REAL men run! Posted: 9/23/2009 9:44:09 PM
ahhh the first name caller... Crack.... really?? LOL

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Suggestion to the ladies - Keywords that will make REAL men run! Posted: 9/23/2009 9:42:23 PM
I dont really consider that filtering... thats just simple logistics. And common sense to most. However I am aware common sense is not so common. Point taken DiggerRoxx. And as far as Green Bay, Go Bears!! LOL

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Suggestion to the ladies - Keywords that will make REAL men run! Posted: 9/23/2009 9:35:06 PM
But how can you filter without meeting? You cant honestly get a good sense of who someone is from email or even talking on the phone for that matter...

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Suggestion to the ladies - Keywords that will make REAL men run! Posted: 9/23/2009 9:32:11 PM
Oh, must add this one! - Sending a second email asking why we didnt reply to the first?? This has stalker written all over it. Take a hint.

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Suggestion to the ladies - Keywords that will make REAL men run! Posted: 9/23/2009 9:29:00 PM
Well, I know you dont want to believe this... but it is just a numbers game. The more people you meet and date, the more likely you are to meet someone you really click with... However, yes being more creative than "lets chat" is agreeably... I usually make a comment about something that caught my attention in thier profile...

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

Suggestion to the ladies - Keywords that will make REAL men run! Posted: 9/23/2009 9:16:48 PM
The following references in your profile will make most men run... - I need a man that can handle an independent woman. - Any references to your Ex's being jerks... etc. - Any check list of things a man must be in order to apply... especially material items. - If you have kids great! But why would you put pics of them on a dating site?? - If you love animals great! But posting more pics of them than yourself? - One sentance on your profile stating "Ask me anything you want to know..." - Requiring that we have to write you some long, creative note on first contact. - Stating that you dont like talking about sex. Hmmm arent we all adults? These are just y opinion, and the opinions of most men I know. I'm sure I will get a bunch of people disagreeing with me. But that's OK, as a grown man I understand that there are alternate viewpoints. None are right or wrong, just opinions... Let the debate begin:

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Recieving emails for new mail, but no new mail in inbox?? Posted: 6/16/2009 12:03:40 AM
The user has not been deleted

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

Recieving emails for new mail, but no new mail in inbox?? Posted: 6/15/2009 7:52:10 PM
I deleted temp files, and still no new emails in POF inbox?

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

Recieving emails for new mail, but no new mail in inbox?? Posted: 6/15/2009 6:21:39 PM
I recieved several emails today that I had new mail but when I go to my inbox there are no new emails? I'd hate to be missing out on my possible soulmate...

WhiteSox_Fan

Joined: 6/7/2009

Msg: 31 (view)

What women really want from a guy Posted: 6/11/2009 8:05:01 PM
I am not really looking for anything specific in my potential partner -- the attraction and dynamics of any relationship are just too complex & unpredictable to reduce to a checklist of attributes & traits.

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