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 Author Thread: how do those ad on here that say rich white woman looking for black man make you feel
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
how do those ad on here that say rich white woman looking for black man make you feel
Posted: 3/13/2012 2:57:16 PM
All those ads are stupid. My favorite ones are the ones that look tailor-made for my profile; i.e., "are you 56 and have hepatitis" (which I am, and which I do), or "56 year old women wanted to date soldiers" (ostensibly because of my screen name or that my son is in the Army).

They're all lame ...
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Paying for viewing feature? really pof? really
Posted: 3/12/2012 5:10:01 PM
After initially getting kinda annoyed, I decided I really don't care. Mainly because I'm no longer interested in meeting anyone, so I don't really care who looks at my profile. And even if some hot guy looked at my profile, I'm not going to message him. If someone is interested, I guess they'll email me. Now, if they start charging admission to the forums, I'll be mad as hell ...
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 22 (view)
 
pof charging for meet me viewed me now?
Posted: 3/12/2012 10:38:06 AM
WTF? Now we have to pay to see who viewed us? I see POF is on the road to ruin by becoming a pay site.

Oh well ... no one here I'm interested in anyway.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Facial beauty marks?
Posted: 3/11/2012 5:47:05 PM
Ya know, they kept telling Cindy Crawford to get that mole removed ...

Honestly, if someone has a huge conspicuous mole, it's pretty distracting to me. It would really depend on how we clicked though. If he was otherwise a great guy and we were a good match, I'd give it a go. I wouldn't promise that I wouldn't encourage him to get it removed at some point though.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Blocking the number of a guy who disappears?? Trying to stop the cycle?
Posted: 3/11/2012 11:18:59 AM
OP, you mentioned he had been in the military. Has he been diagnosed with PTSD? I can tell from reading the majority of these responses that no one has dealt with this disorder. The behavior your boyfriend is exhibiting could be related to PTSD. My son has been diagnosed with PTSD and when he first came back from Afghanistan he did some really strange things. If he does have it, he needs to be in treatment and you need to be supportive. Because despite what people tell you, like telling him to "snap out of it", it's not that simple.

Good luck. If he does indeed have PTSD, that's a tough disorder to deal with due to all the erratic behavior.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Found someone I want.
Posted: 3/11/2012 8:14:52 AM
You could use the old George Costanza excuse ... "it's not you, it's me" ...

Or you could be new and original and be honest with the other two girls. Don't do something lame like changing your facebook status and hope the other two see it. Most people hopefully will appreciate honesty as opposed to some bullsh*t excuse. If you haven't been dating them very long, I truly doubt they're going to be devastated.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 16 (view)
 
I have no idea how to pursue this man. Help?
Posted: 3/10/2012 5:17:28 PM
Whoa ... 61 and never married. I'd run the other direction, but that's just me.

First, I gotta wonder why you're interested? You mentioned that you seem to make him nervous. And you used to be his student. That may be what's weirding him out. And you stated you were attractive and he short and geeky. He probably thinks he'd never have a chance with an attractive younger woman -- or maybe he's gay?? Just ask him out for coffee and see what happens.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Laidies vs. men
Posted: 3/10/2012 5:09:03 PM
I'm sorry, I can't respond to your question until you post a real picture of yourself, not some hot 20-something model you probably found on Google images.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 70 (view)
 
The trait which defines you
Posted: 3/10/2012 4:56:00 PM
Well, I can suck a golfball through a .... uh, never mind ...

I am extremely loyal -- just like an old dog. And I'm honest. I think my goofy sense of humor is what usually attracts people. Or my eyes. I hear that a lot.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
First DUI - Ignition Interlock Device
Posted: 3/10/2012 12:35:32 PM
I'm won't belabor the point, but misdemeanor first offense or not, you were apparently driving drunk/impaired -- whatever. So don't say you don't deserve it because you surely do.

So, having said that, I don't see the need in not dating or at least meeting people. The woman doesn't generally walk the man to his car, so no one would see you huffing away on that thing. However, if you did meet someone and you were driving your car, you'd have some 'splainin' to do ... might wanna go ahead and tell her if it turns into regular dating.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
older women interested in young lads like me?
Posted: 3/10/2012 9:45:15 AM
Most older women are well aware of this fantasy. And a huge percentage won't play along. Most of us already know what this game is about ... we're supposed to be flattered that a younger man is interested, but deep down we know you just want sex and then you'll be gone. Personally, I've never fallen for this, but have seen a couple of friends get hurt despite my warnings to them.

So, I guess the answer to your question is that you'll probably find someone who's willing to play along -- plenty of people on here with fetishes.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 3/9/2012 5:02:58 PM
Two words,OP: FRESH MEAT!

It happens to every new person. And you're never going to run out of pushy people. If someone is annoying you, just block them. I won't deal with those types at all.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
why are some people single for many years?
Posted: 3/9/2012 4:59:30 PM
I used to be that person. I was never single for more than a year or so between marriages. Its been almost eight years since my last divorce and I've never been happier. I've had a lot of time for introspection. I'm fully aware of my faults and my strengths. And if I ever choose to seek a relationship again, it will be for the right reasons because I'm way smarter now ...
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Literacy?
Posted: 3/9/2012 5:25:33 AM
I'm a proud member of the grammar and literacy nazi group on here. I cannot tolerate butchery of the English language. Unfortunately, I get messages like this from people professing to have a masters degree. In that case, I think they're just lazy. Another thing I can't tolerate. I'd probably have to pass, especially without a picture (because I'm also that shallow).
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
New and Improved at 66?
Posted: 3/8/2012 3:07:39 PM
I love my wrinkles and laugh lines. I think they show character -- kind of a roadmap of your life. And I've earned all of them! I would never get plastic surgery or even botox. I'm going to age gracefully -- or ungracefully -- whatever God has in mind for me.

I heard a sad story one time about a woman who had so much plastic surgery that she was no longer recognizable. Her sister commented on how they used to look almost exactly alike -- people knew they were sisters. Now, no one can tell they're related.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 23 (view)
 
FIRST DATE: MEET JUST FOR DRINKS OR DINNER?
Posted: 3/8/2012 2:01:42 PM
No alcohol on a first date/meet. Even if you kinda sorta like the person, it might lead you to do something stupid.

Then you wake up in the morning with your arm missing up to the elbow ...
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Bluetooth Momma
Posted: 3/8/2012 1:58:28 PM
Ya know, OP, I absolutely hate those bluetooth things. No one is that important. And you're right -- you can't hear a thing except noise when someone is talking on one. I met a guy who was wearing one. I almost turned around and left.

So, back to your problem. I really don't think this woman is very interested. If she was, she'd make time to talk to you where you can hear her, not in the car coming and going places.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
HOW To date
Posted: 3/7/2012 4:54:33 PM
Word of advice ... keep NOT hitting that "send" button. Despite what the majority of men will tell you, they don't want you to contact them. I've NEVER received a return message from any guy I've ever messsaged. And I didn't pick anyone who was "out of my league", too young, made sure we had things in common. One guy didn't even read it ... UNREAD/DELETED is what I got. WTF?

However, some time later, most of these guys messaged me, yet had absolutely no recollection that I'd ever messaged them. Although I suspect they remembered and didn't want to admit to being an a$$ clown. That just cements my belief they don't want you to contact them. Unless you're a 20-year-old woman and the guy is old enough to be your dad.

Just one more reason I'm no longer interested in dating ...
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Werewolves
Posted: 3/4/2012 8:54:39 AM
Sometimes I click on the most ridiculous posts and then I'm sorry that I'll never get back that 10 seconds I lost reading it ...
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Relationships and Facebook
Posted: 3/4/2012 7:33:27 AM
I don't think it's modern technology that causes problems. It's people's misuse of these technologies. It's people putting all their dirt out there and blowing it out of proportion and everyone putting their personal spin on things instead of taking it at face value. It's the miscommunication caused by people having an argument via text message. It's ridiculous and out of control. No one knows how to have a real face-to-face conversation anymore. It's so sad that we have to live in this passive-aggressive society caused by technology that wasn't intended to be used like this.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
How long have you been divorced?
Posted: 3/3/2012 10:08:36 AM
No one is judging you, OP. They just want to be as sure as possible that you're over the ex. Some people, like myself, can move on pretty quick and rarely give the ex a thought. Some people never recover. And that's one of the first questions I ask a guy. Most generally I won't meet anyone who's been divorced for a year or less. And if I do agree to meet and he starts talking about his ex, I figure he's not ready to date. Nobody wants to be the rebound, hence that question. Although there's still no guarantee.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Ladies: How do you feel about an intense guy?
Posted: 3/3/2012 6:38:18 AM
I'm uncertain about "intensity" -- that kinda summons up visions of a psycho to me. Ya know, the guy (or girl) who's totally into you the second you meet. They're talking about marriage within 5 minutes. That's creepy.

To me, there's a fine line between intensity and passion sometimes. And I don't think passion comes about until you know someone very well -- when you can let down all your guard and just enjoy being in the moment with that person.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Does sexual desire really decline with advancing age?
Posted: 3/2/2012 2:32:39 PM
My interest has only declined because I never meet anyone I'm physically attracted to. If I were to meet someone I was attracted to, I'd wear him out ...
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Texting instead of calling
Posted: 2/29/2012 5:12:10 AM
I got so sick of chronic texters I started telling guys I didn't have that option on my phone.

It was surprising how quickly they disappeared ... almost like the ability to text makes or breaks the relationship.

God forbid they have to actually interact voice-to-voice ...
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
women and looks
Posted: 2/28/2012 4:40:49 PM
Gee, I don't know ...

... men NEVER judge women on their looks.

 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Pushing and for a meet right away.
Posted: 2/28/2012 4:38:53 PM
24 hours works me.

What's the point in prolonging disappointment?
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Why do woman have to include pictures of their dogs?
Posted: 2/26/2012 3:03:08 PM
faerlan ... my thoughts exactly! I especially loved the "view from my future bedroom" picture. Wonder how many golddiggers the OP attracts by posting pictures like this. But I guess if they look good in a bikini, who cares.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Mermaids boggle my mind
Posted: 2/26/2012 1:07:27 PM
Yet another post that makes me wonder if the forum nazis are sleeping today.

Mermaids? Really? I find it hard to believe a 12-year-old didn't post this.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
What is the new dating etiquette for over 40's dating?
Posted: 2/26/2012 7:45:13 AM
The new dating etiquette is there is no etiquette. No one really wants to waste a lot of time talking -- they want instant chemistry and sex.

OP, since it appears you just joined and maybe you're newly divorced, I'll give you the benefit of my experiences with on-line dating. Regardless of what the guy's profile says, he wants sex before getting to know you. He doesn't want to waste his time if that isn't good. And he's probably got a couple of back-burner girls in case you won't put out. A lot of men put "long term" on their profiles to make them seem more sincere. They aren't. There are so many choices on these sites, and probably plenty of women who are willing to compromise themselves for a man that if you don't have sex on the first or second date, he's gone.

The best you can do for yourself is stick to your guns. If he's moving too fast, he's not the one for you. You're young and attractive and you can afford to be picky. A lot of men I've met on-line are prolific and accomplished liars. Just ask lots of questions and don't let anyone bulldoze you.

When I first joined I thought it would be easier than shooting fish in a barrel ... like "instant boyfriend". Imagine my shock when I discovered how easily the lies flow. This can be fun if you approach it the right way and not use this as your sole means of meeting someone. Unfortunately, because of what I've experienced, I'm no longer dating and maybe I'm a bit jaded and cynical. I'm working on that, but it's tough when you've been burned so many times.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 15 (view)
 
First Meet... What Went Wrong?
Posted: 2/25/2012 8:57:43 AM
Ugggghhhhh ...nothing worse than someone who hates their ex's, family, kids or life in general. Who wants to date a negative downer? That is such a turn-off to me that that's one of the first things I ask someone -- how do you get along with your ex, kids, or family in general. Also, if sounds like you didn't talk to the guy on phone first. I'd recommend you do because tone of voice when asked about certain things can be very telling. I won't meet anyone until I've talked to them on the phone.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Is Karate a turn off?
Posted: 2/25/2012 8:54:02 AM
Well, all I can say is if your girlfriend broke up with you because you were doing your job, she was just looking for an excuse -- it had nothing to do with karate. Karate or any martial art takes a lot of discipline and doesn't really lend itself to violence. However, the ability to protect yourself using just your body is a nice perk of the sport. And as a woman, I'd find that ability pretty hot ...
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Feeling guilty about dating.
Posted: 2/25/2012 8:49:49 AM
I don't think the guilt you're feeling is that out of the ordinary. Especially if you were married for a long time. I have a friend who's recently divorced after 25 years married and he says he feels guilty about dating. So I'll tell you the same thing I told him ... if you're feeling guilty and not having fun, you're probably just not ready to date. After being married for a long time, you may not even know who you are any more. You need to figure out life as a single rather than part of a couple. But that's harder for some people than others. I do think you should take some "me" time before trying to start a relationship.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Ever meet someone irl and not attracted?
Posted: 2/24/2012 4:49:15 PM
I've never been attracted to anyone I met in person. Never. There was always a good reason -- old pictures, they lied about height or weight, lied about smoking, etc.

That's why I'm still single ... and also why I'm no longer interested in dating.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Am I being selfish??
Posted: 2/23/2012 10:31:22 AM
I have no idea what IBS is ... but if you knew he wasn't well when you first started seeing him, then that is your cross to bear. If he's truly unable to come and see you and do things normal couples do and this is really a problem for you, you need to break it off with him. And honestly, if you cared for him as much as you say you do, you wouldn't be asking a bunch of strangers what you should do -- that's a no-brainer. Stay or go -- it's your choice. From some of the things you posted, I think he may be suffering from depression -- no doubt because he is ill.

Dealing with an illness isn't for the weak-minded. There's a huge percentage of people who will bail on a sick partner. It's been done to me and I survived.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 35 (view)
 
WINE ENEMA
Posted: 2/22/2012 4:30:50 PM
If this is anything like soaking a tampon in vodka as a new way to get drunk, I think I'll pass. I don't want alcohol up my ass or vagina ...
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Am I wrong to not like fat girls?
Posted: 2/21/2012 5:09:19 PM
OK ... you're REALLY young and maybe you were raised by a pack of wolves, so yes, you were wrong. There is absolutely no need to be so rude to someone just because you're hiding behind a computer screen. I bet you wouldn't have said that to someone face-to-face. Regardless of how big the girl was, you should not have called her a whale. You can just as easily say "thanks, but we're not a good match." No harm, no foul. You didn't hurt her feelings and she doesn't need to rage against you.

How would you like someone to call you a skinny dork?
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Is all fair in love? and the internet?
Posted: 2/21/2012 5:05:32 PM
Yep, pretty much agree with that statement. There's a very, very small percentage of people on these dating sites who would honestly walk away, delete their profiles and never search any further once they find a great person. Problem is, everyone is addicted to looking ... hoping for something better. No one wants to commit to an 8 in case a 10 signs up. It's sad and kinda crazy.

As far as the truth -- or lack thereof -- there's also a very small percentage of people who are 100% honest on these sites. For whatever reason, the need to lie and build themselves up into something they aren't overrides all reason. I've never been able to figure out the purpose because if you meet someone in person they'll figure out the lies soon enough.

And for all the above reasons, I've taken myself out of the dating game ...
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Do women think with their vaginas?
Posted: 2/20/2012 3:20:00 PM
No.

We have enough blood to work both ends at the same time.

 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
what do people think is a reasonable age gap in a relationship
Posted: 2/19/2012 7:56:10 AM
Good grief ... another delusional, middle-aged crazy with no picture telling us how great he looks wondering if it's OK he hangs out at the local high school to get a date.

First, you're separated. You don't need to be dating at all. You're doing both of you an injustice. Second, I've never seen anyone who thinks they could pass for someone ten years younger who actually looks that young. So for your own sake, put down the magic mirror.

I can tell from your post that you're not interested in anyone your own age, so just try asking out someone you think is hot enough for you. And then report back to us when she shoots you down.

Sorry. I just get sick of these "I look 10 years younger" posts ... because you don't. Trust me ...
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Oral with or without a condom
Posted: 2/18/2012 8:24:24 AM
I'm pretty sure I wouldn't like the taste of latex ... and can't imagine either party would get anything out of that. If some guy asked for a blowjob with a condom, I'd probably think he was a serious germophobe and that's something I cannot tolerate.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 19 (view)
 
caught cheating by friend/fam member
Posted: 2/18/2012 8:22:27 AM
OK, so I'm gonna play devil's advocate and go against the grain here. Everyone is probably gonna tell you to mind your own business, and maybe you should. But as far as I'm concerned, if I was in a relationship with someone and another person I trust saw him getting cozy with another woman, I'd sure as hell want to know. And if someone sent me an actual picture of them, all the better.

I really don't like stirring up problems for other people, and I don't like meddling in other people's affairs, but damn ... there are certain things people need to know. I wish someone had told me when my ex was cheating on me.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Could He Be Married?
Posted: 2/13/2012 5:22:31 PM
Oh, hell no!!! Do not meet anyone who refuses to give you a picture. I promise you, despite how hot they tell you they are, Sasquatch will show up.

And on to the other stuff ... do not let him come to your house. From everything you said, this guy is screaming "I'm married." There's no other reason for all the secrecy.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
How do you deal with a Text a holic ?
Posted: 2/13/2012 5:18:10 PM
I tell people right out of the gate that I don't like texting except for something that requires little to no effort to respond to. I'm not carrying on an entire conversation. Period. If someone persists and texts me constantly, I just quit responding. Warning, chronic texters don't give up easily and the ones I've dealt with are so passive-aggressive that if I don't respond I get a string of hate-texts. And I don't want to be involved with anyone like that, so the sooner they show their true colors, the better off I am.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Why do you want to be in a Relationship? or Not?
Posted: 2/13/2012 5:13:00 PM
Hmmmm, well, I've been married and divorced 3 times. Been single for almost 8 years since the last one. When I signed up on here, I really thought I wanted another relationship. Now I really don't think I do. I have a good job. I can take care of myself. I like not having to share the remote. Don't really need anyone to "complete" me. Have friends and family, so I'm not lonely. I wouldn't turn down a truly great guy for any of the above-mentioned reasons. But that guy is gonna have to be pretty special. Sure, I miss a man's touch. Kinda miss knowing someone would notice if I didn't come home from work. And if its meant to be, I'm sure it will happen.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
What does atheltic mean to you?
Posted: 2/12/2012 4:07:58 PM
Good question. The men on here seem to think a beer gut makes them athletic. When I think "athletic" I think someone who has good muscle tone -- not Schwarzenegger -- but in good shape. He probably plays some sport -- not beer pong. And I don't understand people who describe themselves as "athletic" yet they smoke.

Everyone's perception of body size and shape is gonna be different. That's just my two cents.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Why do women want me to get rid of furniture that i had when i dated others?
Posted: 2/12/2012 4:00:15 PM
Well, if you're telling them "I f*cked so-and-so on that couch, chair, etc." I can understand them asking you to get rid of it. Otherwise, I have no explanation for this idiotic behavior. My ex's new wife made him rip up a new hardwood laminate floor in the living room because I picked it out. The fact that he actually ripped it up makes him a bigger moron than I ever thought he was ...
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
How many messages a day does the average woman get?
Posted: 2/12/2012 1:44:27 PM
I've opted out of the dating game, but prior to that I got an average of 5-8 emails from new contacts a week.

For some strange reason, since I changed my profile to say I'm not dating, I'm getting even more emails.

I guess now I'm a challenge ...
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Am I wrong for this?
Posted: 2/10/2012 4:35:08 PM
Oh, hell no. You did the right thing. He expected way too much for a meet and greet. Reminds me of a guy who asked me to dinner at a very nice restaurant. Right before we were supposed to meet, he called me and said "Why don't you swing by Subway, pick up a couple of sandwiches and meet me at my house." WTF?

And, no. I didn't do it. And I never heard from him again. Not losing any sleep over it either.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
She's an ex-SMOKER; any concerns?
Posted: 2/10/2012 8:47:52 AM
Wow, I've been ditched for a lot of reasons, but my being an ex-smoker isn't one of them. If that's your biggest complaint about her, it kinda seems like you're looking for an excuse to dump her.

As an ex-smoker, I can tell you the temptation to smoke is hard to ignore, especially the first couple of months. It's the hardest thing I've ever done, and I'm proud of myself every day. But if she quit a year ago and hasn't had a relapse, I'd say she's on pretty solid ground. It is a one-day-at-a-time thing though.

And it never hurts to have someone say "hey, it's been X months, years, etc. since you quit -- good job." As long as she's getting positive feedback, she'll probably never slip up. But in the event she does, and we all so, she doesn't need to be chastised. That never works. You always need to be positive.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Naughty pictures to the wrong number
Posted: 2/10/2012 8:11:58 AM
^^^Oh, absolutely I've made plenty of mistakes in my past -- most of them involving making bad choices with men and sex. But I've learned from my mistakes and don't intend to make any more, and that includes sending naked pics to anyone.

So, sorry, OP. Didn't mean to seem so judgmental. I just didn't think it was near as funny as everyone else.

And you are very attractive. I just don't see the need to send naked pictures to prove it.
 
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