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Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 167 (view)

seeing guy for 2 months and he still on pof Posted: 11/1/2009 11:33:21 PM
My philosophy about trust is it has to be earned. An honorable person in a relationship wouldn't do anything that could be interpreted as dishonest, whether it's taking someone else out to dinner, having his ex visit for the weekend, not wanting to tell his partner about what he does in his spare time, or checking his matches on POF. Obviously this guy isn't showing you he can be trusted, and if I were you, I wouldn't be in a committed relationship with him.

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Dealing with Ex's Death Posted: 11/1/2009 11:19:20 PM
Recently, one of my ex-boyfriends died in a tragic accident. We'd been broken up 10 months when it happened and we weren't on speaking terms for seven of those months. (And, no, it wasn't a long term relationship.) He was a beautiful man, but he grew up with severely abusive parents, and had a lot of issues he wouldn't get help for. It was one of those cases where the best thing to do was to detach with love. Now, I'm in the process of stream-lining my life and I'm getting rid of a few material possessions. My ex gave me a lot of gifts while we were together and while he had very good taste, and I'm keeping most of them, a few of them I've decided to pass on to others. If these items were from any of my other exes -- who are all still alive -- I would have no qualms about giving them away. However, since he is no longer on this plane, I have a hard time letting them go. It feels like I'm throwing away pieces of him. Anybody else been through something similar?

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 44 (view)

Novels that are dramatically different from the films Posted: 11/1/2009 10:49:01 PM
" but I think Practical Demon Keeping got turned into Practical Magic Nope. Halftime-Daddy got that one wrong. "Practical Magic" is based on a book by the same name.

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 43 (view)

Novels that are dramatically different from the films Posted: 11/1/2009 10:45:39 PM
Girl Interrupted: The movie version was radically different from the novel, which was auto-biographical. I guess it made for better movie-material to have the life-or-death situations and homicidal mental patients, which weren't in the book, and to leave out much of the soul-searching that was. I actually liked the "Bridget Jones, Beyond Reason" movie version better than the book. In the book, Bridget's love interest is seduced by Rebecca before he and Bridget find each other again. (I'm sorry, but the leading man having sex with another woman ruins the "love story" for me.) In the movie, Rebecca is his room mate and not his lover, being a lesbian and having a crush on Bridget.

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

cant get over it Posted: 3/28/2009 11:26:54 PM
Once you're over the grieving process, you'll thank your luck stars you aren't still with her. It sounds, from all that you've written here, that you had lots of good reasons to be jealous. Your story reminds me of the guy I went out with for two years, starting when I was 18. He let one girl put her hands all over him, in front of me, without telling her to stop. Numerous other young women would visit him in his dorm room, until all hours of the night, to tell him their problems. No wonder I was insecure in this relationship! Unfortunately, I didn't have very high self-esteem, otherwise I would have told him to take a hike. What a waste of two years, when I should have been out checking out and dating other young men. Not only that, but the friends we shared thought I had a jealousy problem and that he was blameless, so they didn't have much respect for me or take me very seriously as a person.

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Putting a Time Limit on Intimacy. Posted: 7/4/2008 1:26:46 AM
I didn't give the ultimatum, he did! I was all for letting things unfold naturally until this happened!

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Putting a Time Limit on Intimacy. Posted: 7/4/2008 1:24:23 AM
Let me clarify this, since it wasn't very clear from my posting. I didn't impose a time limit on the intimacy thing in this "relationship" as I prefer to let things unfold naturally. He was the one who brought it up (after about only 5 dates, I might add).

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 116 (view)

getting over number or type of ex partners Posted: 7/4/2008 1:19:18 AM
I feel exactly the same way about my potential partners. I don't think there's anything wrong with that I also think sex is something special to be shared between two people in a committed relationship. If a man has slept with a lot of people, then it doesn't make me feel very special when he says he's interested in me, and I wonder how soon he would get tired of me and go after someone else. Your feelings are your feelings and they are neither wrong or right, just a part of you that shouldn't be judged just because you don't think/feel the way other people might. I think the best way to get through them is by discussing them with your potential partner. I find that once I express how I feel and it is accepted by the other person, then it is usually no longer an issue. If it still is an issue then it's good to know there are other people on P.O.F. (and the wider world) who think and feel they way we do, so I know I don't have to settle if I don't want to.

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Putting a Time Limit on Intimacy. Posted: 7/4/2008 12:56:57 AM
This question is to other women: How would you feel and react if the new man in your life told you he wasn't willing to wait six months to become intimate with you? (I had just gotten to the hand-holding stage with the new man in my life when he dropped this bombshell.) Thanks, Ms Adventure

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 122 (view)

What celeb would you date and why? Posted: 4/2/2008 12:22:16 AM
At this point in time, I'd have to say Luke Wilson. He seems sweet, thoughtful, responsible, caring, and funny; all the qualities I'd like in a boyfriend. Also, you won't find him on the front page of any celebrity scandal rags. I've looked at his Astrological birth chart, which backs up my observations. (Most of his planets are in Virgo and Libra.) His planets trine up with mine in Capricorn/Aquarius, not to mention that he worked in landscaping -- my current career -- before becoming an actor, so we'd probably have a lot of talk about. As for what celebrity I'm most like, I'm not sure but the fictional character I like to compare myself to is Tessa in "The Queen of Swords." (Am I conceited or what?!) She's a real amazon and can leap from two story windows onto the back of her horse and best the bad guys in both sword play and verbal repartee. In my work, I have to climb a lot of trees that are taller than my 10 foot ladder to prune them and I've fallen off ladders numerous times and landed on my feet all but once. (I fell on my butt that time, but fortunately only my pride was hurt. Must be all my training as a figure skater. Lesson 1: How to fall without getting hurt.) I also love working with my power tools. Tessa works undercover as a female Zorro against the corrupt officials to help the local villagers. I used to work as a newspaper reporter and I still use those skills and my knowledge of the law to help friends, acquaintances, and strangers from being taken advantage of, sometimes anonymously.

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 26 (view)

the past is the past Posted: 2/29/2008 12:38:31 AM
Good for you! You Go, Girl!

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 195 (view)

1st Date Expecting Dutch without discussing beforehand Posted: 2/27/2008 8:23:28 PM
Whoever does the asking should pay, unless the other person offers to pay all or part of the bill. Naturally, whoever has more money will be asking the other person to go more on expensive outings. This is mostly likely, but not always, the man. Ms Adventure

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

confused Posted: 2/23/2008 12:35:02 AM
The last guy who did that to me had another girlfriend in the background; the ex he told me he had broken up with before meeting me. He'd go out with me. Break up and go out with her for a while before getting back together with me. Not all guys who break up and get back together with you several times are going to have other women in the background, but they are too screwed up to be in a functional relationship. If he breaks up with you once, thinks about it, and decides he can't live without you, that's healthy and normal. If he does it several times, I'd let him go and go on dates with other guys. In the meantime he might straighten himself out or you might find someone a lot more stable and attentive. Either way you won't be disappointed over and over again.

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 92 (view)

Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations? Posted: 2/23/2008 12:15:33 AM
I save a lot of time by talking to guys first before seeing them. I can usually tell by a phone conversation whether I'm going to enjoy meeting someone in person or not.

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

What's going on with this girl? Posted: 2/23/2008 12:05:41 AM
Valentine's Day with a guy's mother?!!!!! Doesn't sound very romantic to me. It could be she was so enamoured of your image that she changed her status because of your emails. I would, however, check things out because sometimes they aren't always as they seem. Whatever the reason, I would be suspicious, too.

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 24 (view)

detach...with love Posted: 2/22/2008 11:48:39 PM
Detaching with love is a funny thing. I've been in some friendships & relationships where I've hung in there, seeing the potential in these people if only they'd take my advice and take the first step to making themselves become healthier or find themselves in better circumstances. And then, when I step back and get out of the way and away from them for a few weeks, or make our relationship less close, they will do the very thing that makes them happier and better people, all by themselves and without my hindrance! I went out with a guy who was clean & sober for two years when we met. He is a lovely man but two months later he sabotaged it all by starting to smoke pot again. He broke most of our dates because he couldn't find the energy to get up off the couch. He also forgot my birthday & Valentine's Day. I knew I wouldn't get any of my relationship needs met if I continued dating him, so I broke it off. I realize he is coping with life the best he can and didn't smoke pot & stand me up to deliberately hurt me. We are still friends but I decided not to phone and email him as often. Funny enough, that last time I checked he has started taking the steps to get his life back together.

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 50 (view)

saying i love you too soon Posted: 2/22/2008 11:25:59 PM
BE AFRAID. BE VERY AFRAID! Guys & Gals who move fast getting into relationships are usually fast jumping out of them, too. One boyfriend I had like this phoned me every day and brought me a single flower every time he saw me. He was in the process of buying a house and after only two weeks after our first date he asked me my opinions on each one he looked at. He also talked about taking me on a cross-country vacation. I said Whoa! I hardly know you and you hardly know me. Unfortunately, I fell for the romantic crap anyways. One day he was all lovey dovey, the next day no flower, no kiss, no physical contact except when I grabbed his hand. He denied he was mad at me or that he had any issues with me at all and refused to talk about it, but it hurt like hell. After that day, the nightly phone calls stopped dead. He also couldn't be bothered to return my belongings after breaking up with me over the answering machine one week later! Within three months I found out he was already living with somebody else. Based on my experiences I'd say if you do decide to pursue this, slow it down and take it carefully, before becoming exclusive and sexual. One part of this strategy would be to screen your phone calls so you don't speak to her so much, and get more time between calls/dates to contemplate and cogitate over the things she says or does to figure out where your relationship is going and whether it's actually worth it. It also wouldn't hurt to do some background checking through the internet or by asking people who know her about her relationship history.

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 134 (view)

Have you a crush on anyone? Posted: 2/15/2008 11:02:29 PM
There's someone I do business with that I find extremely attractive. He's much older than I am -- I don't usually fall for older guys -- and not magazine cover material, but he's funny, I enjoy talking to him, and ironically we both communicate with our clients and handle our businesses in the same humourously, haphazard way. I feel as if I've met a kindred spirit. I'm not sure, but I think he's taken, so lately I've kept our interactions to a minimum. I've asked all my friends and quite a few of my clients if he's single or not, but nobody seems to know who he is. (Sigh!)

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

What does it mean when a man says must take care of herself in his profile? Posted: 1/12/2008 7:04:33 PM
I think he's looking for someone who'll always go dutch on a date, and pay half the rent & utilities if they ever move in together, regardless of circumstances. I know one woman on welfare who moved in with her boyfriend, who owned his own home, and had to pay him rent. He also cheated on her, but that's a different story. Then there's another guy I knew who was a logger and owned a huge house and property, but decided he'd never go on a trip with a girlfriend unless she paid for half. I never wanted to date him but I totally lost respect for him as a person when he shared that with me. That doesn't mean I believe the guy should pay for everything, but that partners/spouses should look after each other to the best of their abilities. I know one woman who is a doctor who bought plane tickets for her boyfriend, who was a tradesman, so he could travel with her. Yet, he did a lot of yard work and household repairs for her. However, we're only speculating here, so why not just write and ask him?

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

Will prices come down with our strong dollar Posted: 1/12/2008 6:48:23 PM
I've noticed sterling silver jewellry is a lot cheaper than it used to be. I recently bought several big flashy cubic zirconia SS rings, with baguettes, for $7.50 apiece. Made great Christmas presents.

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 152 (view)

Come post your tips here to help others avoid stupidity! Posted: 1/12/2008 6:20:36 PM
More on How to Avoid Breaking Your Own Heart or Someone Else's. -- Never date anyone who has left an ex, but doesn't have the divorce papers signed, sealed and in their back pocket. Either they'll go back to the ex, and/or they have loose strings and past issues they haven't dealt with, which they'll take out on you. More Stupidity Avoidance In General: -- Never make friends with someone of the opposite sex who's taken unless you make friends with their spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend, too. Not only does this leave both parties open to temptation, but even if your intentions are purely honorable other people will assume otherwise. -- The best revenge is to Live a Good Life. Just remember: Time Wounds All Heels. -- If you hang around people who do crazy things, you'll end up acting crazy yourself. [E] Compost Your Tips Here [/E]

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 63 (view)

Why do men lie on the question * Do you do drugs*? Posted: 1/11/2008 10:50:13 PM
So they can have something to take umbrage at and someone to argue with when you ask them if they do. Seriously, though, if they would just answer the question in their profile, it would save everybody the hassle.

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 150 (view)

Come post your tips here to help others avoid stupidity! Posted: 1/11/2008 10:22:51 PM
How not to break hearts or get your heart broken: 1/ Don't sleep with anyone until he's taken you out for dinner, shown you his home, and introduced you to his family. 2/ Don't sleep with/get into a relationship with somebody until you're ready to introduce that person to your kids. (If applicable.) 3/ Don't stay in a relationship with somebody who won't put out the effort to stay in touch with you while they're away on extended business trips. When there's a will, there's a way. Even in the middle of no-cel-phone-where, there's ship-to-shore phones, telephone radios, or people heading back to civilization who are willing to courier letters to mailboxes. 4/ Don't date people who talk to their parents everyday, or whose mothers still make their lunches and do their laundry, unless you're both still in your teens.

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 65 (view)

would you stay with a man if he have feelings for another woman Posted: 1/11/2008 9:07:18 PM
I wouldn't feel threatened with that sort of honesty, as long as he didn't act on it, and kept good boundaries between him and her. (For example if she flirts with him, he makes it clear to her we are an item, and won't accept social invitations from her, unless I'm invited, too.) I would be more suspicious if a man said he wasn't attractive to somebody when it was clear to me he was. I've been left for women my boyfriends assured me weren't attractive.

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

*OLD HALLOW'S EVE PARTY*...MERVILLE HALL, SAT.OCT.27TH, starts @ 8 P.M. Posted: 10/17/2007 1:26:13 AM
What sort of music does "Third Mission" play? I love to dance, but unlike most valleyites, I can't stand R&B or C&W so if they play that stuff I don't want to shell out the money. Thanks, Ms Adventure

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

October 21~Sunday Brunch at the Salmon Point Pub~ in Campbell River Posted: 10/12/2007 2:40:43 AM
Just so you all know: Salmon Point Pub isn't actually in Campbell River but Oyster River, 2/3 of the way to Campbell River from Courtenay. So you don't have go drive all the way to Campbell River, if distance or gas is a problem for you. You drive up the old highway, through Merville, then Black Creek, over the Oyster River Bridge, then just past the old UBC farm, turn left onto Salmon Point Road. Cheers, Ms Adventure

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

October 21~Sunday Brunch at the Salmon Point Pub~ in Campbell River Posted: 10/12/2007 2:34:22 AM
Sounds like my kind of event. Let's hope the sun is streaming through the windows and some of us can go for a walk toward the UBC farms. Love and Light, Ms Adventure

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

old profile needs some improvement!! Posted: 10/10/2007 12:48:32 AM
I love the picture! It shows that you're cute, funny, & creative. However, your headline is boring. You also say you are funny but your profile is very un-funny When I took writing in college what they drilled into our heads was "Show, don't tell!" Be creative with your language, write a funny headline, In the body of your profile, pretend you are a stand-up comedian describing yourself to a studio audience. Tell us what makes you unique and different from all the other comedians in the world. Oh yeh, are your pictures up-to-date or the same ones you've had posted for years? If women have seen your picture hundreds of times, and weren't impressed the first time they read your profile, they won't look at it again. However, if the main picture is new, it might just pique their interest to look a second time.

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Can someone review my profile? Posted: 10/10/2007 12:34:53 AM
Post Script: Don't listen to the gentleman who gave you hell for not being in the here & now. It all depends on what you want out of a relationship. If you want a wife and babies, then his criticism is fine. However, as a young student I don't think you're ready for or want that, anyways.

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Can someone review my profile? Posted: 10/10/2007 12:32:10 AM
I love your profile. It makes you stand out as an interesting and unique person. The headline might be a little generic but not enough to make me puke. I think you'd get more replies if you logged onto POF more often. That way more women can see your profile. I find that when people do a search, or get their weekly matches, the list of profiles that comes up has the people who have last visited the site first. So if you logged on last week you might not even make the list at all or end up on page 20 or 50.

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Some assistance would be greatly appreciated. Thanks Posted: 10/10/2007 12:20:02 AM
If I were you I'd ditch the picture. When I first saw it, it looked like it belonged on the profile of an old retired farmer. I would never have guessed you were in your 20s. Also, I can't see your face or hair. Not a good first impression. I also find the contents of your profile too general. Who doesn't like watching movies or cuddling? If I were reading it what I'd like to know is what sets you apart from everybody else in your community. What are your passions? What's your claim to fame? Good Luck, Ms Adventure

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Is my profile doing a good job? Posted: 10/9/2007 10:50:26 PM
I don't know what guys think, especially when they look at my profile. Does it serve its purpose, or could I improve on it? What impression go people get when they look at it? Thanks, Ms Adventure

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

Phoney picture rating! Posted: 6/28/2007 1:42:56 AM
I put my photo on the rating system because it's a good boost to the ego to see a list of people who rated me 8 or higher. (I was that kid in high school nobody would dance with.)

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 154 (view)

SHORT GUYS Posted: 3/5/2007 8:13:58 PM
I'm 5' 5 1/2'' and one of the sexiest guys I know is about 3 inches shorter than I am. However, I've asked him out and he's not interested. (Sigh!) Maybe he has a stigma about dating women taller than he is, or he has to be the one doing the chasing. (Heh! Heh! Heh!)

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 171 (view)

Favorites list of a woman Posted: 3/5/2007 8:08:25 PM
I think most of the guys who have put me on their favorite's list are hoping I will contact them because there are things in their profiles that prevent them from emailing me. (Eg. using drugs, too old, married ,etc.) The others have either contacted me or I've contacted them before they added me. And then there is my last boyfriend who is really shy around attractive women, so I contacted him when I saw his profile under "fans." He was probably the exception that proves the rule. Cheers, Ms Adventure

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

Long Profiles. Like to read em or not? Is yours a long one? Posted: 3/5/2007 7:36:51 PM
Post Script And, no, I don't think a man's desparate if he has a long profile, in fact I think the opposite. Because he has put together a long, description of himself and his needs I'm assume he's in touch with himself and not likely to settle for second-best in a relationship.

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

Long Profiles. Like to read em or not? Is yours a long one? Posted: 3/5/2007 7:34:17 PM
I'm a busy person and I prefer a long profile, because I'm more likely to find out if a man and I are compatible or not, before wasting my time on another potentially boring coffee date. As a rule, I don't respond to short, short profiles, because they don't tell me anything about the people who put them together. As a general rule, if a guy writes and tells me he's interested and doesn't have a long profile, and doesn't bother to tell me why I should be interested, I tell him thanks but no thanks. Also, if a guy hasn't got the time to write and put some thought into his profile telling us ladies what he's like and what he's looking for, I presume he isn't going to put much time to into maintaining a relationship either. Ms Adventure

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 93 (view)

Suicide??!! Posted: 3/4/2007 2:59:02 AM
mctowelie, Have you made any plans to kill yourself? Have you tried calling your local crisis line first? Part of you must want to live, because you wrote about your desire to kill yourself. It looks like a cry for help to me. I once wanted to kill myself, 20 years ago when I was around your age. I had no friends other than those who saw me as a charity case or someone to pitty. I grew up around alcohol, chaos, and a lot of anger. As a child, I was abused in different ways starting from the age of 4, then told it was all my fault when I looked for help. I was also the scapegoat of the family and my parents took out their anger and frustrations out on me, as did the bullies at school and the weirdos of the neighbourhood I lived in, which was a slum. (A lot of drugs, houses with no plumbing, no lawns, a lot of broken down-cars, miserable kids, unemployed drunks.) I was molded into how others wanted me to be but not who I was or what I wanted as a human being. Fortunately, I found counselling first before I seriously attempted to commit suicide. I no longer live in that town, have much to do with my relatives or the friends who didn't repsect me. I run my own business, I've had many dates, I have a lot of nice "toys" (My 4x4 being one of them) to play with, and I have some extremely supportive friends, a few of whom have gone through similar things I have when they were children. Long after all that unhappiness, I volunteered on the local crisis line, and all volunteers had binders that listed all the resources in the community and how to access them. If there isn't a crisis line listed in your phone book, phone the operator and get connected to the nearest one. Don't give up, the best is yet to come. Been there, haven't done that, Ms Adventure

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

Does asking what do you do for a living ..mean how much money do you have ? Posted: 3/4/2007 2:21:04 AM
No, it's just another thing to find out about the other person as to whether they would make a good conversation partner, friend, or mate. It CAN be about money, but in most cases it isn't. (Although it might be helpful to know that your prospective date actually HAS a job, unless you're independently wealthy and don't mind paying for all your outings together or you're specifically looking for a house-husband, house-wife type.) If you both have done the same work in the past, you have something in common and you can talk shop. If their job is something fascinating like zoo keeper or museum curator, it gives you a lot of fascinating things to talk about. You can also find out about their values and lifestyles are by their work. If someone raises beef cattle, and you are a vegetarian, then you know right off that they aren't likely to be a good mate for you. If they live and work as a forest ranger in a remote area and you're afraid of creepy-crawlies, ditto. As for your new friend going into a spazz attack over you asking him what he does for a living, I'd take that as a bad sign. It either means he's feeling defensive about not having an income, or he's got a bad temper, or both. None of which is a good sign in a prospective date or mate. Ms Adventure

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 47 (view)

When you meet someone in person.......... Posted: 3/4/2007 2:00:19 AM
Hello, SweetScorpio, etal, I am also turned off by men who are looking for "intimate encounters." To me that signals a game player and "sleeze," plus a disrespect for women and the sacredness of the sexual act. I'm also grateful when I can find out what somebody's morals as quickly as possible so I don't waste any of my time on him if he is sleazy. I also no longer stay in relationships or go after men who have "potential" to be the ideal partner if they aren't already there. If I can't live with a man the way he is now, then I'm wasting my time being with him because he might never change. (Although I can be a friend to him, as long as he doesn't behave like a slut, or cheat, steal, do recreational drugs, or any other distructive behavior.) And in the case of Sweetie-Scorpio's new acquaintance I'd be pretty leary of him if only because he misrepresented his age: if he'll lie about something like that what other things will he lie about? As for the misconception that all men are looking for intimate encounters -- and I think most grown-ups would agree that means casual sex -- I have see many profiles on POF from men who have put "must not be looking for intimate encounter", "must not be looking for short-term" and "must not have contacted others for casual sex", on their "to contact" email settings. Which is very comforting to me as a woman with standards.

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 255 (view)

Has anyone NEVER had a ONE NIGHT STAND? Posted: 12/7/2006 2:29:55 AM
I've experienced some intense chemistry with numerous gorgeous guys who've propositioned me over the years, but I've always turned them down. I've also been propositioned by male friends in my younger years, but turned them down, too. Never had and never will have a one-night stand. I tend to have a pessimistic view about men and sexuality, so I find it refreshing that many of the men here feel and act like I do. Personally I think more people lie about having them than about not having them, since our popular culture promotes this behavior so heavily. Cheers, Ms Adventure

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 62 (view)

How many chances do you give a guy? Posted: 12/7/2006 1:38:48 AM
If he lies to you, he's obviously not mature enough to be in a relationship. The most important foundation of a good relationship is Trust: trust that your partner is going to be there for you when you need him, trust that your partner is going to be faithful, and trust that your partner will stand by you when things get tough. This leads me to another reason why I'd ditch this guy if I were you: He's already in a man/woman relationship with his mother, as he hasn't emotionally left home, which is a another sign of immaturity. His mother is still the most important woman in his life and there isn't room for two fulltime women in a man's life. If I were you, I'd cut my losses and run. It will hurt like hell for a while, but that's better than a lifetime of pain with a man who lies and runs home to mummy every time things get rough. Love and Light, Ms Adventure

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

To tell if someone is lying to you Posted: 3/12/2006 8:44:51 PM
I have met two psychopaths, in my life, and they were so glib I would have believed their stories if I didn't know something about them before hand. (One of them was my best friend's daughter, another was a close friend's son.) Other people have a harder time lying, but different individuals, I find, give themselves away differently. Some men will look you straight in the eye without blinking, trying to out-stare you, when telling a lie, because they think that will make them look honest. (They're hoping the proverbial stereotypes about liars not being able to look you in the eyes, will fool you.) However, for me, the best way to determine if someone is telling is to find out if their stories stay the same. For that reason when I meet people on-line, I print out everything they write so I can keep track. If, I've started dating, I keep notes. Call me cynical, but I seen and experienced too many things not to take care of myself. As one of my counsellors told me when it comes to relationships, any investigating that will help me decide who's safe and who isn't is perfectly okay. Cheers, Ms Adventure

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

Age discrimination and searches Posted: 3/12/2006 8:33:26 PM
I'm glad someone brought up this subject. I prefer dating men my own age, but a lot of the men my age on-line will never see my profile because, while they are interested in dating 15 or even 20 years younger, they have blocked women my age from responding to their profile. This pisses me off because it makes the pool of potential dates a lot smaller for women my age. It also looks ridiculous when a 50 year old pot-belled, wrinkly, follically-challenged, arthritic man chases after 25 year olds. I mean seriously! Why would an average 25 y/o even want to have anything to do with him. I have dated younger men and found them boring because they didn't have enough maturity or worldliness. I don't want to date 50 or 60 year olds because I'm much too active and even most men my own age can't keep up with me. (I work as a landscaper, I figure skate three times a week, and I belong to the local GSAR group.) I want to date a man who is my equal. (Ironically, the same men who blocked me, because of my age, have probably seen me around town and wondered how they could meet somebody like me.) Thanks for letting me vent!

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 81 (view)

Hard to find a woman looking for a long-term relationship Posted: 3/12/2006 6:26:27 PM
I could say the same thing about men.

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

constructive critisim wanted Posted: 3/7/2006 4:53:14 PM
Hello, Gibsons, Sorry, Personally, I would never date anybody who's separated and doesn't have his divorce papers signed, sealed and in his back pocket. Sometimes the separated man goes back to his ex and breaks the heart of his girlfriend he swore up and down to, that he hated his wife. Also, newly separated men have a lot of baggage. They are extremely needy and promise the sun, moon & stars to their new girlfriend but as soon as the same issues from their marriage come up -- which they invariably do -- they dump the first girlfriend and find themselves another sweety. If you have only been separated for a few months I'd say you aren't ready for a new relationship. I would suggest go to counselling to find out what went wrong and what your part in it was, go to a men's support group, let your friends and relatives take care of it as you debrief, or anything else that takes care of your needs but doesn't involve hurting another innocent person. Good Luck, Ms Adventure

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

What are you like? Posted: 3/7/2006 4:40:34 PM
Hello, Watermellon, Your profile is all about what you are looking for but it tells us nothing about who you are. You haven't told a guy why you are special enough for him to want to contact. It also makes you look needy and incomplete as a person if you don't have a man in your life. Some things you might want to put in your profile: Your passions: What makes you ecstatically happy outside of relationships. Things you are better at than anybody else. What you like to do for fun. Your hopes & dreams: Where would you like to be in five years? Your lifestyle: Are you a country person, or a city person? Are you into partying all night or drinking tea with your elderly parents, or something in-between? Are you a couch potato or a triathelon athlete? Anything else that makes you look like the unique and wonderful you, you are. Be creative and have fun with it. Cheers, Ms Adventure

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 37 (view)

Why is this Web dating thing so difficult? Posted: 3/1/2006 7:54:46 PM
Mmm! You aren't butt ugly or anything, but by looking at your profile, I'd say you haven't posted enough information on it to get women interested enough to write. (I know I wouldn't respond either.) Things I'd like to know as a women are, what are your passions in life? What sorts of activities and things make you feel good, and why? (Not on a sexual level but as part of your life.) What is your life-style like? Do you like to lie on the couch all the time, or do you run up high mountains, just to hang glide from them? Do you like living in a sky-scraper with all the modern conveniences, or do you hate most progress (except your computer and the internet) and prefer living off the grid in the middle of nowhere with only wolves and deer as neighbours? As a woman who is browsing the personals, how would I fit into this? You also didn't tell us what sort of woman you are looking for, or what type of relationship you want. Is she Suzy Homemaker, or Xena the Princess warrior? Do you want someone who's easy to talk to and confide in after a hard day at work, or are you contented merely to grunt at each other while you shoot at beer bottle lined up on the fire-pit? Have fun being creative and re-writing your profile. Get some of your siblings or female friends to remind you about your good points if you get stuck. Good Luck, Ms Adventure

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 147 (view)

It's not your profile, it's.... Posted: 3/1/2006 7:42:04 PM
Oh my God! I've just posted a thread asking what turns men off, since being rejected by three different. When I saw this one, I was paranoid you were talking about me until I saw the date it was started. (Yes, some of us are a little sensitive.) I asked my question not to throw a pity party but to find out if I am behaving like a tool so I can change it. Perhaps others who complain are also looking to change themselves. Ms Adventure

Ms Adventure

Joined: 2/17/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

should i b waiting for him? Posted: 3/1/2006 7:30:33 PM
Have you met any members of his family? One of my closest friends met a man like that. The red flags were coming up a mile a minute, only she chose to make excuses for him. Two of the most blatent were, he'd never taken her to see his family, even though they lived only two hours away, and he never left phone numbers or email addresses where he could be reached at while he was away. While he was around, he did nice stuff for her like fix things, cook, chop firewood and clean the gutters. The whole charade fell apart when she found a cheque-book front a joint account he had with another women. After more investigating, it turned out he was having relationships with several different women at the same time. Now she's having to grieve/detox from a relationship that lasted 1 1/2 years. Be careful! No one deserves to go through the crap she did. Ms Adventure

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