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Author
Thread: Separated.....but won't talk to married men?
songdisciple
Joined:
2/18/2006
Msg:
33 (
view
)
Separated.....but won't talk to married men?
Posted:
5/23/2007 11:28:18 AM
If you are married, one has no business dating. Get a divorce, then consider it.
Here is why. The question(s) that would come to mind is, "Why is he not Divorced? Can't afford it? Wants her back? He is lying about all this?" etc... If you want a healthy chance with someone, dating her while "Separated" is not going to impress her. So, do yourself a favor, wait. You might blow a really nice opportunity with a very special lady and get hurt all over again.
songdisciple
Joined:
2/18/2006
Msg:
29 (
view
)
Sensual parts of a womans body
Posted:
5/23/2007 11:22:11 AM
Vancer , I thought you are a virgin?
I quote/paste "Dude I'm 32 and a virgin and I feel like life is an awesome ride. "
Danger, danger Will Robinson.....
songdisciple
Joined:
2/18/2006
Msg:
91 (
view
)
Your partner gets a lap dance from a stripper, is that cheating?
Posted:
5/23/2007 11:16:10 AM
If in a committed relationship, unless you are at the club with your lover, why are you there? Yes, it would be cheating if you are there without your partner.
songdisciple
Joined:
2/18/2006
Msg:
22 (
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)
Getting back together after fixed alcohol problems.
Posted:
5/23/2007 10:46:12 AM
I have to say that as harsh as this sounds it is true.
I was in a relationship with a woman alcoholic. I had known her in grade school and alway adored her. At the age of 30 we got together. At first, it was really fun. We were good lovers and great times. Then, she was expecting a child and when I found out I asked her to stop drinking. And she did. Life was great. I was happy. We made a home and had the American dream. Then, 7 years later, I made a huge mistake. During a bath, we shared a bottle of fine liquor. All seemed so fun and sweet. It was a wonderful night. A few days later, she came home from work with a 6 pack of beer and got sloshed. I was appalled at her behavior while intoxicated. I mean it was like she had never quit all those years and she was totally repulsive to me. After two weeks she was drinking daily, and being abusive. Before she lost her job, weekend drinking started after coffee number 3. Some days, she was staggering drunk before 8am.
The beautiful lady had become frightening. Violence was nearly a daily thing, not to mention the horrible things she said. After about 3 months, my 6 year old son came to me and said "When mom drinks, Satan comes" - I was devastated. I knew at the point it could never get any worse. I was wrong. Just a few weeks later, my son asked if we could get a new mom. It broke my heart. I showed at work with black eyes on many occasions. I called in sick often. I finally lost the job. I moved out. She didn't use the monies to make a house payment for months. Foreclosed.
That was 6 years ago. Since then, she has continued to drink and is totally dysfunctional. She was in out patient treatment for nearly a year but drank all the way through it. Her violence was horrifying. In addition, she would always play the victim. She would not remember things, important things. She destroyed our lives. Wounded my child emotionally, and tore me apart. She blamed me for everything. I paid dearly.
Even though we have not been together in years I have rough days still. All I can do is forgive, and hope and pray she gets well. And I do that from a very long distance. I will tell you this experience, has horribly painful as it was, taught me things that I am so grateful to have learned. Forgiveness, and unconditional love. My life is much better because of this. I would have never said that when it was taking place. I lost the most important person I had ever known to a bottle. However, I now have skills and wisdom to find, and cherish, someone a whole lot better for me!
As he said, do not let it trick you! You have to be committed every day if you are going to beat this. And as far as your love, the damage is done. And as hard as it is, you are going to have look at the good in this and realize what you have learned. You are 22, you have many more things to earn before you are truly ready to love in depth. I realize you care for her, but once that resentment, in both of you, is there, it will never be healthy love again. Respect her, wish the best for her. If you truly love her, you will want her to be happy. No matter what! Do well in it now, and you will reap the rewards later!
Learn from this, stay focused, and know that if you slip, you will fall a very long way. I can tell you that living sober is a lifestyle. You have to do it, just like a job.
I attended Al-Anon for a couple years and it was wonderful
songdisciple
Joined:
2/18/2006
Msg:
17 (
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)
since when did vagina become a dirty word???
Posted:
3/11/2007 4:17:41 AM
Thats it kid, yeah you, at the coke machine, you said the word "Spleen" , go, out, your outa here!
songdisciple
Joined:
2/18/2006
Msg:
153 (
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Men-does it bother you if a woman's legs are not shaved?
Posted:
3/11/2007 4:09:25 AM
I know of a woman who only does a bikini wax and does not remove hair anywhere else on her body. Legs, arms/pits, etc. She is one of the most beautiful and sensual woman I have ever known. The hair on her leqs is not at all unattractive. It is soft, and very fine. Mainly because she doesn't shave it, which makes it thick, ya know...
I once dated another lady who did no hair removal at all. That was a bit harsh down below.
songdisciple
Joined:
2/18/2006
Msg:
123 (
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whats the best vibrator gift for a women ?
Posted:
3/11/2007 3:51:01 AM
I know a few ladies who like the Hatachi Magic Wand due to its INTENSE vibration. I have recommended it for years. For external use only. (Well, some might abuse that)
songdisciple
Joined:
2/18/2006
Msg:
181 (
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Breast reduction!!
Posted:
3/11/2007 3:40:19 AM
Girl! I just looked at your profile and this is a bad idea. Reductions should only be used in extreme cases hon...
songdisciple
Joined:
2/18/2006
Msg:
33 (
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)
how much is too much sex partners?
Posted:
3/11/2007 3:32:35 AM
All good lovers read books!
I really do not think asking someone outside of a casual conversation is appropriate. If you have a good relationship, and are both healthy, then talking about your experiences together will be good for both of you. If either person is unhealthy, you are asking for trobule.
songdisciple
Joined:
2/18/2006
Msg:
247 (
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Tattoos on women turn on or turn off? just curious
Posted:
3/11/2007 1:58:07 AM
I personally find many Tattos repulsive. I do not see a problem with a temporary tat on occasion.
songdisciple
Joined:
2/18/2006
Msg:
98 (
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Man who does not want sex?
Posted:
3/11/2007 1:40:02 AM
Did you not read the OP?
opps :)
songdisciple
Joined:
2/18/2006
Msg:
97 (
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Man who does not want sex?
Posted:
3/11/2007 1:37:35 AM
Emotional health is vital to life. This person speaks of suicide so there are obvious issues. Your friend needs help and I hope he has found it by now.
As far as the statement that if a male does not want sex, he is gay? Oh quaint!
I have such a hard time with men who are so absolutley clueless. An education is important and is vital to life. In other words, learn!
I indeed hope your friend seeks help, before it is too late. And, instead of worrying about why he does not want sex, concern yourself with his statements of suicide. HELP HIM! Better yet, worry about you!!
songdisciple
Joined:
2/18/2006
Msg:
186 (
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Do you think women masterbate as much or as often as men?
Posted:
3/10/2007 9:06:11 AM
thank you lady for being so candid..
I know you girls, you way hot, way more than men,,,,
songdisciple
Joined:
2/18/2006
Msg:
185 (
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Do you think women masterbate as much or as often as men?
Posted:
3/10/2007 9:03:58 AM
Speak girls, how often. Be honest.....
I bet, in some, it's a couple times a day,,
songdisciple
Joined:
2/18/2006
Msg:
49 (
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Why do women equate sex with committment...
Posted:
3/10/2007 9:01:46 AM
I listen to my lover... Always....
songdisciple
Joined:
2/18/2006
Msg:
182 (
view
)
Do you think women masterbate as much or as often as men?
Posted:
3/10/2007 2:54:10 AM
But on topic, of course, women do WAY more self explore. If they didn't us guys wouldn't have a chance...
PS: And they would never be a good lover, unless they did.... No question. I could never make love to a woman who doesnt touch herself. Atleast not a second time. I fshe doesnt command THAT YEAH, or WATCH THIS , OH MY, tonight is the last night. So, hint girls, be okay with you, right off, or the smart guys go away.... And if you are not doing that, and the come back, then fuck the sick bastard, if that is the kind of man you like. But real, no man would ever look at you a second time, if you were not ok with you. So, if he is still on ya, and ya never touched yourself, he himself is a predetor! There is not a real man who understands women who would screw a girl a second time if she was not totaly ok with her the first time. Anyone that does, IS SICK, A DANGER! LET IT GO!
I know many men, not all smart, but I know, the good, potential lovers, they wont stick around if you have some hang up bout yourself. Anyone that wants it NEXT TIME sees someting nice in you! In other words, if he wants a second round, you are prob. ok in your presentation. You have his attention. if you want him, BLOW HIS MIND. If you dont want him, let him fuck you.
That simple. Nothing worse than knowing "I have this awesome lady here with me, but, does she really want me, or is she just roleplaying?"
Remember this, NO MAN will show his himself the first time. I will find new things each time, 10 times a hundred times, I will find some new way to thrill you. And if I feel I need to learn more, I WILL! The first time a man is in, well, he is in PERFORM MODE. Most men are all about the thrill of the chase. A REAL man is about, WHAT DID I DO FOR HER? And, will adjust to her desires. A smart girl knows this, and knows how to bring out the real him Right now!! Any real lady knows this. Been there... Any guy that says SHE WAS, or IM NOT USED TO, or BUT SHE DID, IS A TOTAL DUD, MOVE ON!
Just be smart enough to know the diff...
If you are not cozy exploring yourself around me, don't invite me home with ya. I seek a real lady, HEALTHY.. Someone who can multi without my help, while I look on. Making the next time Im inside, TOTALLY AWESOME! I'll take nothing less.
Doesn't mean you not ok for someone else. Just, for me, you better know how to please yourself, or Im not interested...
songdisciple
Joined:
2/18/2006
Msg:
84 (
view
)
sex with pregnant women
Posted:
3/10/2007 12:19:29 AM
I think a woman who is pregnant is horribly sexy.
But then again, I know that a woman is the most beautiful creation ever made!
songdisciple
Joined:
2/18/2006
Msg:
50 (
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Motel or not to Motel
Posted:
3/9/2007 10:48:30 PM
Indeed, I agree. Id say "Motel, that might be nice near some attractions, but, what about your place. can we go there?" if he studders "What's wrong, are you hiding something?"
Feel it out. Even if you are turned on by this guy, if he is lieing, and you play with him, you might be contributing to another womans hurt. Great love making/sex (there is a diff) is cool, but hurting another soul (woman) when aware is wrong. Tell him , right up. "Look, level with me. Be honest and we have a chance"
If he says "I have a girl" say "Ok, when she tells me it's alright we will get down? She wanna come too?"
Guys are dorks! Ask me, I am one...
songdisciple
Joined:
2/18/2006
Msg:
180 (
view
)
Do you think women masterbate as much or as often as men?
Posted:
3/9/2007 10:39:23 PM
Opps , sorry all. That last post was a bit off topic. I apologize...
Yea, More, less, same. yea, woman have the right to do it more, less, or the same.
But I think, honestly, from what I know of the girls I have been around. WAY MORE, and its WAY MORE SPECIAL. And its NOT cheating as some claim. And it's NOT something I can provide as her male lover. It is totaly different. A different experience. Has nothing to do with me, unless she shares with me or I help her along.
So there, Yeah, woman pleasure themselves way more, and I wouldn't have it any other way!
Sorry all for getting off topic.
songdisciple
Joined:
2/18/2006
Msg:
179 (
view
)
Do you think women masterbate as much or as often as men?
Posted:
3/9/2007 10:31:33 PM
I know you didn't (mean offense). I just have to rant. I have to rant. I have been an entertainer for years. I have met mass people. I hear the talk, the guys, how quaint they are. The silly, clueless talk. I think woman are a life force. I would like to meet that special one. I thought I did, at least twice. But, as I age, I see that many of the ladies are wounded by careless dorks! And I wish I could scoop them all up and say TUH DUH! And that in itself is a bit sick, cause how can I do that? (I am ok, really)
But, I can not fix anyone, and trying to do so is, well, evil! What right do I have to think I can change a soul? I can only encourage and support. Her feelings are valid, they are hers, and for me to say "You shouldn't feel that way" is saying your feelings are strange, you are not right. I only invalidate her. WRONG. That is counter the issue. They are her feelings, and only support, intelligent support can help her. Not "What's wrong with you?". Thats the key. Some ladies think cause bob hurt them, marty will too. NO! But I can't change that by trying to WIN trust, only by earning it. We have to make up for the mess others make. Same in politics, business, and etc..
Sue did this, so nancy will too... NO!
If we all realize, that each soul is its own, the bitterness will decrease. We will stop assuming, and start loving. I know love when I see the dew on a spider web, Bob doesn't.
I have a friend, who constantly calls saying "Cry cry cry" I tell her, "Don't let this crap steal your joy!" But, it's like some just can't live without the dark. I say love, care, and start realizing how lucky we men are to be sorrounded by such beautiful souls. And instead of tring figure them out, just accept that the dork at the keg party 21 years ago screwed up her heart. Be patient, and love... If she is healthy at all, she will find you!
songdisciple
Joined:
2/18/2006
Msg:
176 (
view
)
Do you think women masterbate as much or as often as men?
Posted:
3/9/2007 9:49:23 PM
Bitterness? No, I just know that most men I know have no clue that preparing a meal, or doing the dishes, is part of making love!
Not bitter, frankly, embarassed by my gender peers!
I am male!
songdisciple
Joined:
2/18/2006
Msg:
48 (
view
)
Motel or not to Motel
Posted:
3/9/2007 9:36:27 PM
Many women expect sex on the phone BEFORE the first date! Some use it to screen potential lovers. Some use it to see if thats all a man is after (smart girl!) To see if they are healthy, or greedy, or whatever. Really, seems sick to some, but it happens. And its even pretty smart.
So, please know, your ideas and feelings are valid, and very much yours and you have every right and freedom to decide what you want, approve of etc. And that is what is important, what you want and your expectations. And a smart man, who really has your, and his, best interest in mind will always respect and uphold your wishes, desires and opinions even he doesnt agree. An intelligent man will honor you for who you absolutely are, even if you are not like others he has known. He won't tell you "well they were this way.." WARNING!! DANGER DANGER WILL ROBINSON!!
But, do keep in mind that others may differ. Not that I do, but I must always respect that everyone is unique and beautiful. Well, almost everyone on the latter.
You seem like a very self respecting lady, and that in itself is valuble. Keep it up!
/hugz
songdisciple
Joined:
2/18/2006
Msg:
907 (
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)
kissing after oral sex
Posted:
3/9/2007 9:27:35 PM
Or Presidental election!
songdisciple
Joined:
2/18/2006
Msg:
174 (
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)
Do you think women masterbate as much or as often as men?
Posted:
3/9/2007 9:16:23 PM
I have to speculate that every woman on here knows exactly what I am talking about, and the majority of men do not. Proves my point, most men are clueless. Always will be. They hoot and yell more over a football touchdown than they do their lover.
It's just wrong.
songdisciple
Joined:
2/18/2006
Msg:
41 (
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)
Motel or not to Motel
Posted:
3/9/2007 8:27:19 PM
I dont see that I said "When I am on the second date with a lady, i..." I said A date. However, I have had first dates where I pick the lady up, and spend an entire weekend traveling, camp here, motel there. Totally enjoying one another. Was never anything creepy bout it. Then, back to the office monday morning. Cherrished memories for both of us. Pictures of wildlife and awesome scenery to prove it. I met her here! However, I always spend a reasonable amount of time getting to know someone before I date them. Via phone, or whatever. I wouldn't consider a date without such. I don't need a date, I do it because of the awesome memories they create. Too many live ina box. First, "A movie!" Huh? How can I get to know her in a theater where a motion picture is the subject of study. Instant turn off to see First date - "Movie". Indicates shallow waters. That first date is kinda important. And should be about learning things of the other. Sharing, laughing. A movie is great 2nd time around. But a couple of hours in a comfortable place where conversation is the study. Or, as above. Taking a sweet girl from New York for a tour of Olympic National Park. 3 days of pure bliss. Indeed! One of the greatest times of my life!
Creepy? Guess that all depends if you are suspicious of people or not.
No offense mind you.
songdisciple
Joined:
2/18/2006
Msg:
39 (
view
)
Motel or not to Motel
Posted:
3/9/2007 7:14:27 PM
more respect for myself than to give it up after a couple of dates
huh? You hangin with the wrong fella's girl, Ever considered it as a gift for you? Maybe even from yourself, to yourself, with the help of your lover? Ever show him how to please you? Isn't it a gift or something you are sharing in? giving it up? thats an awful attitude. How can one possibly enjoy it, or be good at it, if one is thinking that?..... It is a beautiful experince. Its not a vile, replusive thing. You should adore it, and enjoy it, or you are being unfair and even dishonest with him.
When i am on a date with a lady, its about her. Shampooing her hair, having a warm tub, maybe a nice drink in the tub. Or dunking her in the tub while I cook a sexy meal. Maybe its just about letting her have what she wants for a time. Even if that is just a crossword. Either way, its all about her for me, and that is the only way I find any pleasure in any of it. I adore a lady. And she deserves every bit of that.
Give it up? yeeshh
And ya, a SAFE motel is okay as a BASE of operation for a date. Doll up, out for dinner, back for a bath if things are right, etc.. If not, head out for home.. Awesome..
DO NOT bring the guy to your place until you get to know him better.
Oh, and by the way, she said she met him at a bar, not online....
songdisciple
Joined:
2/18/2006
Msg:
272 (
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)
Is being woke up with sexual favors rape or not?
Posted:
3/9/2007 6:43:36 PM
Okay other people who I am friends with think this is rape and broke off a 6 year marriage because he did this... Whats your opinion??
My opinion is that the woman you speak of has serious issues. If he attempted to love her up one time and she blew, she is in heavy need of some soul searching. There is something in there making her unhealthy. If she did not desire for him to do that, fine, she can communicate that and he should honor that. But, to break vows? Perhaps she dreams of greener grass in the pasture full of weeds? There are many web articles about agry women, and the causes. Is she happy now? If so great, but she hurt him, and that was wrong, if indeed all he did was attempt to kiss an angel goodmorning.
Perhaps there is more to it? Maybe he was not so nice all those years? But for her to admit that to anyone in the way you describe? That is a serious sign of issues.
songdisciple
Joined:
2/18/2006
Msg:
172 (
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)
Do you think women masterbate as much or as often as men?
Posted:
3/9/2007 6:32:12 PM
I have to say that not all men self serve. Nor do all women. I must also say that some women do it way more than others. And some men the same. Its not a gender thing. Its a matter of how healthy, or unhealthy a person is. I have known woman that never do it. Or rarely. Others who do it constantly, even at work, etc. Some share the experience, others do not. Some are embarrased by the fact they do it, others would think you were crazy for not sharing it with them. Some women go months without any sexual activity, then spend weeks of wicked round the clock neighbor waking. Some men are so pre-occupide with sex they have been with many woman and have yet to experience what it's really like. Shame there.. Same goes for women. You can never be a good lover to someone else, if you are not a good lover to yourself, in all aspects of life.
It's not men vs. women issue in my opinion.
songdisciple
Joined:
2/18/2006
Msg:
45 (
view
)
Why do women equate sex with committment...
Posted:
3/9/2007 6:19:13 PM
I have not ran into to too many ladies who feel that way. Perhaps a few that were a bit insecure or had yet to expirence how beautiful things can really be if they are truely healthy. I have awesome experiences without any such expectation. As a matter of fact, I find the most attractive and healthy women have no intention of limiting their horizons. For the most part, they seem to know how to make a beautiful weekend at the ocean into something neither of us will ever forget. And sometimes there is no second date. But that expereince of shampooing her hair, and all the small talk, the bath, the heat. Oh my, what a treasure.
Women are beautiful, I adore them. Problem is, some live in a box. Or worse, are not even living at all. And life is slipping past as they wait for Mr. Right and miss out on Mr. Almost. Robbing themselves of awesome experiences they will need to really adore Mr. Right! And more importantly, themselves! Which is the most critical part of an attractive lady!
Gosh, how complex it is...
Bottom line, two healthy people can make beautiful memories that will never dull nor tarnish, nor hurt. Ever.. They will always be treasure. And who knows, it may continue on forever together. They may never move on from that bliss. But without that adventure and mindset, the chances of finding a healthy love are slim.
I adore you ladies!!
songdisciple
Joined:
2/18/2006
Msg:
24 (
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)
Getting laughed at during sex
Posted:
3/9/2007 5:54:12 PM
Laughter can be a sign of other emotions. Perhaps it tickles her "I'm being naughty" reflex ??
songdisciple
Joined:
2/18/2006
Msg:
106 (
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WHY R OLDER GUYS SO SEXY????????
Posted:
3/9/2007 5:48:55 PM
It amazes me that without knowing any of the people you mention, that you can even know if they are sexy are not. I mean how can you make such a call without knowing them as a person? Sexy is a soul thing. A mind thing. I see a lot of beautiful woman whom after I get to know are total turn offs. And some not so beautiful ladies who are absolutley sexy.
Sexy is demeanor! Not an image! You missing out girl....
songdisciple
Joined:
2/18/2006
Msg:
903 (
view
)
kissing after oral sex
Posted:
3/9/2007 5:35:18 PM
Perhaps you ought refrain from oral sex if you feel that way. Obviously you lack understanding in what it takes to be a good provider in the sack! It concerns me as a man who understands that shampooing my lovers hait is part of making love with her, to see a man posting such a degrading (to men) statement. No worries ladies, most (not all) men are clueless. They just do not understand. I mean, they hoot and yell over a touchdown more than they do their lover. I don't get it.
I realize this post is from 2005, but im certain the thread is still alive.
songdisciple
Joined:
2/18/2006
Msg:
133 (
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)
Do you think women masterbate as much or as often as men?
Posted:
11/25/2006 7:27:58 PM
Without offense I must post here. Mike, I see your post as contained here and must say that "agree to allow" is a scary statement. Nothing directed at you sir, however, I must say not only would I "agree to allow" I would insist in sharing such an honor with my lover. I adore toys with my girl. Plain and simple. I shudder to think that any man would have a problem with that. Considering that if they do, it indicates lack of health, and therefore inhibits her joy... Which marks him, and on she should move...
I hope that men can finally come to terms with the needs and desires of our counterparts, or should I say, better halves ?? Its time for us guys to grow up, and realize testostorone (spell) sucks!!!
I have always asked, why is it guys get all whoopy and excited over a touchdown way more than they do their girl? When my girl walks in the room, no matter who she is, where she is, I whoop it up, and say "WOW! LOOK AT HER!" simply cause, if I am not totally awed by my lover enough to display it, then I am totally with the wrong woman!
Doing the dishes is part of making love!
Peace!
~~~ Find love in all things, and love shall find you ~~~
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