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NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 55 (view)

cheated Posted: 11/25/2009 2:08:05 PM
Some of the comments are a little harsh. Yes you were broke up when she slept with this person but I understand why you find it so painful. But look at it this way the fact she jumped in to bed with someone so soon speaks volumes about her personality. In most cases after a break-up both parties will take time out to heal. I'd be glad she's out of my life if I were in your shoes.

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 33 (view)

Words for the broken hearted... Posted: 11/25/2009 5:50:27 AM
For goodness sake I get tired of reading the same old bloody cliches "If he doesn't love you more fool him", what a load of crap. People fall out of love for many different reasons, to call someone a fool for not loving you is utterly ridiculous. Ask yourself why this person doesn't love you anymore? what did YOU do to erode his/her love for you? Instead of putting yourself on a fecking pedastal it might just be YOUR actions that caused your partner to fall out of love with you.

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 40 (view)

I am breaking up with BF Today! Had ENOUGH Posted: 11/18/2009 2:54:13 PM
Well thank you so much for the update. I've been hanging on by a thread wondering whats been going on. Thank gawd the wait is finally over and I can get back to my regularly scheduled life. Another sarcastic load of dribble from POFs master flamer.

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 47 (view)

The one you love has a new love.... Posted: 11/17/2009 10:22:32 AM
Why do people equate alone time with being a hermit? I happen to think it's absolutely vital that you DO spend time alone after a break-up, and make peace with peace!

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 373 (view)

Should a man have a say regarding Abortion? Posted: 11/17/2009 5:10:04 AM
Unless it's a planned pregnancy men will panic when given the news and sometimes even demand she has an abortion. I don't agree with that at all, no man has the right to tell a woman what to do with her body. Of course it should be discussed but ultimatley the final say rests with the woman carrying her child.

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

Emails with EX Posted: 11/16/2009 3:33:55 PM
Geez dont people stay friends with ex girl/boy friends these days? In 38 years of marriage my late husband and I stayed in touch with folks we dated before we married. One even became a god parent to our son Friends obviously works for you but in the majority of cases friends is a big no-no for most people after a break-up.

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

Emails with EX Posted: 11/16/2009 3:26:59 PM
It's a tricky one, on the one hand she has no business talking with him if they are over, on the other you could be seen as being insecure. It is possible to be friends with an ex but I wouldn't like it if my woman was in contact with an old flame, especially if he appears to have eyes for her after all this time. Do you know the content of these emails?

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Protecting the public from violent offenders Posted: 11/14/2009 3:17:44 PM
The entire judicial system is a collossal ****-up, from law enforcement to sentencing and parole. I'm not surprised by this latest, embarrassing debacle.

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 70 (view)

Flirting with Married people Posted: 11/14/2009 2:40:56 PM
Flirting whilst attached is never a good idea either.

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 64 (view)

Abusive Relationships Posted: 11/14/2009 11:50:25 AM
when he was nice it was great, thats the hard part But you must realise it was all an act, they're only 'nice' when it suits them and their twisted agenda. I've been there myself, she would cradle me with all kinds of emotive words (after being caught out on a collossal lie or having just smacked me around the face) - "I love you more than ever", once they've lulled you back in to a false sense of security they'll do as they please and the cycle starts all over again, peace - drama - peace - drama - split up - get back together - honeymoon period - drama - and on it goes. It NEVER EVER STOPS until you cut the cord!.

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

Should a physical impediment end a relationship? Posted: 11/14/2009 5:27:31 AM
OP: Do the woman a favour and end the relationship, the fact you're even asking the question over something so trivial as a wonky eye beggars belief. Let her go and find somebody she deserves to be with, it isn't you that's for sure. Pathetic.

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

I don't care that he did, but WHY DID HE HAVE TO LIE? Posted: 11/13/2009 4:45:03 PM
I don't think it will serve any purpose asking him why he lied, he did, end of story. It's not the best of starts is it, he's lied to you already, what else has he lied about? is he a compulsive liar? I could go on but you get the idea. All I will say is - tread careful :)

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 45 (view)

being honest with yourself? Posted: 11/13/2009 4:36:18 PM
do you notice how you contridict yourself when you give out advice to others? and more importantly would you admit to it? I probably have contradicted myself on these here forums but I always speak from the heart and if I've given somebody advice on matters of the heart it's usually because I've made exactly the same mistakes they are making. It's ok to contradict ones self.

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 249 (view)

I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim Posted: 11/13/2009 2:09:55 PM
Isn't Islam a wonderfully peaceful and tolerant religion - NOT!

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 20 (view)

Now shes invaded my dreams!!! Posted: 11/13/2009 11:43:13 AM
There's nothing abnormal for having dreams about your ex, I know I did (not about yours!). It's all part of the process, they will stop in time.

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 51 (view)

JOB CENTRES Posted: 11/13/2009 11:13:39 AM
They don't do face to face assistance with job searches in my local area They did at my local job centre, I thought it would be the same up and down the country, obviously not. The least you would expect is some basic help with your job search. More needs to be done to help the long-term unemployed back to work. Rather than waste billions on failing banks how about this effin government try and change the psyche of the nation by providing a real alternative - intensive training, apprenticeships. Give people some bloody hope at least. I know a few people out of work all in their late thirties, NOTHING is available to them apart from help writing a CV. It is a feckin disgrace!!

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 48 (view)

JOB CENTRES Posted: 11/13/2009 10:34:17 AM
Yep , they are no longer allowed to spend time with each individual to seek work its called self help This is absolute rubbish. I was unemployed for a month, when I went to sign on the job centre advisor would do a search based on my criteria and kindly printed off job vacancies. They helped me flesh out an alternative CV to help me find other work outside of my normal skill-set. My stint of unemployment was brief, and I now work for myself but to say they are not allowed to help the unemployed with job hunting isn't true at all.

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 46 (view)

She dumped me so why does she still want to see me? Posted: 11/13/2009 10:08:23 AM
Still a bit weird at the mo. Was outside yesterday trying to get on. And she turned up. Just waiting for the microwave to finish. She then started the we can be only be friends now talk. I did not start this i have gone past that stage. What is going through her head? "ME ME ME ME ME" that's what's going through her lousey, thick head. She has the gall to tell you she wants to be "great friends" after she dumped you, pops round unannounced, who the ** in the dark does she think she is!?!. Cut her out of your life, the stupid only wants you for attention, to manipulate, play games with. Stop the contact let her ** with someone elses head!

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 21 (view)

TEXTS FROM THE EX Posted: 11/13/2009 10:00:06 AM
Why are you allowing her in your life? You're either together or you're not. She is abusing you in some way by continuing contact, how are you going to deal with the text that reads "I'm with someone else now"? because that's exactly what will happen and you can't handle it at the moment.. She must know how you're feeling, if she gave a fcuk about you at all she would leave you alone. Change your number, cut her dead.

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 23 (view)

Brits are ugly and so say all of them............! Posted: 11/12/2009 4:44:07 PM
Bollocks! I'm fecking gorgeous, Mum told me so!

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 26 (view)

EX'S... wtf man??? Why is this so flippin hard? Posted: 11/12/2009 2:31:24 PM
And here you are spilling your guts to a bunch of strangers on a free dating site.... I ask you... is that the behavior of a man or a fool ? With comments like that you should be asking yourself who the fool is in this thread - it isn't the OP. POF serves a variety of purposes including dating, and discussing, with strangers - relationships. I think with so much negativity in the world this place offers people some comfort. There are some truly amazing, incredibly intelligent people who are kind enough to share their wisdom with those who are hurting. It certainly restores my faith in humanity. Your comments serve no purpose other than to make you feel better about yourself. Seriously, you should look at your own short-comings with comments like that, and make amends.

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 35 (view)

on-again, off-again Posted: 11/12/2009 12:38:30 PM
OP: I understand the way you feel, even though you two were not together, that's got to hurt. I can imagine you visualising all sorts of scenarios with the two of them kissing but really, it's not worth thinking about, as hard it is when that thought pops-up - CRUSH IT! If its put you off him romantically, move on and find someone else.

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 47 (view)

Does Gordon Brown deserve such criticism over his miss spelt letter? Posted: 11/11/2009 4:35:09 PM
He has no choice but to take the abuse thrown his way, what other option does he have? He lives in the public court of approval/disapproval, he is fair game.

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

The betrayal of my ex haunts me.... Posted: 11/11/2009 4:01:54 PM
I can't control my mind anymore. You might not believe it but your mind is in control, it's doing all the hardwork in the background by processing all of the shit that you've been subjected to. It might not feel like it at the moment but your mind is doing exactly what it's supposed to be doing - healing, and purging all of that toxic sludge that's been clogging up your body for months. Hang in there matey.

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 20 (view)

EX'S... wtf man??? Why is this so flippin hard? Posted: 11/11/2009 3:51:46 PM
She's a manipulative **, she know's you're in a fragile, vulnrable state. Of course it's **ing hard to say no when you've barely had time to recover. Believe me I know exactly what you're going through, and it IS fecking difficult but walking away is easier than pursuing an ultimately fruitless relationship - in the end she WILL hurt you all over again. Keep walking the other way.

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 41 (view)

Does Gordon Brown deserve such criticism over his miss spelt letter? Posted: 11/11/2009 9:11:58 AM
Yes Brown deserves every bit of criticism. He has made the most basic of mistakes but it's sadly indicative of a man who's legacy from chancellor to PM is littered with collossal errors of judgement, stupid mistakes, and damn right wrecklessness. I have NO sympathy for the traiterous piece of crap. After the ratification of the Lisbon treaty I am rather pleased he is under the cosh whether over a miss-spelled letter of condolence or something else, it is simply another nail in Browns idiotic coffin.

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 77 (view)

Breaking up and reading POF comments from the loser Posted: 11/11/2009 5:45:39 AM
Who cares what lies he spews on internet sites, if he wants to play the victim, let him, it dosen't change the fact he is out of your life and will doubtless treat the next woman in exactly the same manner. Keep a dignified silence and move on.

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 18 (view)

Has anyone gotten counseling.. Posted: 11/10/2009 10:25:16 AM
Couldn't agree with your more Whenwill. When you're in the fog you can't see a damn thing in front of you. It's amazing how quickly things become clearer when you take a few steps back. Kicking that person off of the pedastal becomes just that bit easier and that's when the pain starts to fade.

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

Has anyone gotten counseling.. Posted: 11/10/2009 4:03:21 AM
Yes I have had person-centred counselling before and I found it incredibly helpful. It's a long process and you must be a willing participant, if you go because you think you should go and not because you believe it will benefit you and help you to move on then you'll get nothing out of it. Go in with an open mind. Often people view counselling with embarrassment, they see it as a weakness, of course the opposite is true, it takes great courage to recognise you have a problem and to accept you need outside help. Best of luck. Since when would an objective opinion ever be a bad thing? Since when has it ever been the job of a counsellor to give an objective opinion? They are not there to dish out opinions, they are there to take you on a journey, ultimately it's all about you - the client.

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 74 (view)

Have you ever fallen in love with a sociopath? Posted: 11/8/2009 3:54:58 PM
Something else I remember, she had no friends, I well remember her complaining to me that her so called 'circle of friends' would forget to invite her out to the pub or some such other social gathering, she would phone me in state of anxiety. Of course being the gent I am I would suggest it wasn't personal, but as time marched on, reality dawned, people just didn't want to be in her company. They don't have friends.. You may never see the real face behind the world face, but if you do, it is NOT pretty I'd like to correct you there, you will NEVER EVER see their true face, simply because they haven't a clue who they really are.

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 39 (view)

Are mens lives complete with out a woman? Posted: 11/8/2009 3:44:12 PM
I don't 'need' a woman to live a happy, contented life, I'd 'like' a woman to share my life with me but if I live the rest of my days without a significant other, so be it. I am not needy.

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 197 (view)

When is the last time you cryed ? Why do we cry ? Posted: 11/8/2009 3:18:49 PM
Indeed, there are so many chemicals at work when you're healing a broken heart, I think of it as a poison that needs to be removed from your system. Experts believe recovering from a broken heart (or a toxic relationship) effects the person on a cellular level. I can relate to that completely from a previous relationship many moons ago. Crying is an essential part of the healing process.

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

Do you often feel alienated wherever you go? Posted: 11/8/2009 1:53:06 PM
OP: I can totally relate to your situation, particularly the issue of anger. My anger turns swiftly in to tears, and I'll find a quiet spot and cry it all out - it's a release, and I'd rather that than a release of physical violence upon someone and the prospect of spending a few months in jail. When you're healing a broken heart sometimes it can feel like the whole world's on your case, but the reality is nobody is out to get you, you're just hyper-sensitive at the moment, which is perfectly normal. I've stayed well away from alcohol (I suggest you do the same), not because it makes me want to beat the shit out of anyone I just find it darkens my mood further the following day. Keep it up with the counselling and voluntary work, over time you will reap the benefits. P.S Have to say I've never had a cage dancer rub me all over, things are looking up for you already :)

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 195 (view)

When is the last time you cryed ? Why do we cry ? Posted: 11/8/2009 1:15:45 PM
yew4ic, I hope things get better for you, I'm sure they will in time. Brought a lump to my throat reading your words. Keep strong and take care :)

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 68 (view)

Have you ever fallen in love with a sociopath?? Posted: 11/8/2009 10:12:24 AM
MSG 65 hits the nail on the head. I fell for a narcissist sociopath, luckily I only spent just over a year with this person. They are consumate actresses, thrive on chaos and drama. These people are evil, no conscious, no empathy, no reason, no understanding, it's all about them and what they can get out of you. Pathological liars and cheats, they are not capable of change because they don't think they have a problem. They enjoy inflicting misery on to others it makes them feel better about themselves, inside they are total and utter wrecks - zero self-esteem, massive lack of confidence and they seek constant validation, hence indiscriminate sexual partners. If you're in love with a sociopath, you have my deepest sympathies, and remember they don't love you at all, they are not capable of loving ANYONE but themselves. My advice - RUN LIKE ****!!!!

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 70 (view)

Broken heart ? its all in your head, get over it ! Posted: 11/6/2009 4:35:15 PM
Your heart is controlled by your head ie your brain, which effects your mind and how you deal with emotion and trauma. When people say to me "follow your heart not your head" I don't even bother to respond because it's so ridiculous given our hearts are controlled by the most important organ in our body - the brain! It is the brain that releases chemicals in to your bloodstream that of course have some effect on your heart but ultimately everything you feel stems from the 'ol grey matter!

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 64 (view)

The Love of My Life is Gone Forever Posted: 11/6/2009 12:15:35 PM
I start being myself entirely because I was so certain she'd never leave because she enjoyed the sex so much. I don't mean to get on your case as you are in enough distress, but the above statement really says a lot about you. Sex does NOT make a successful, healthy relationship, it's an important part but if you were basing the security of the relationship purely on the fact she enjoyed having sex with you so much then you have a lot to learn.

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 21 (view)

lonley Posted: 11/6/2009 10:39:31 AM
but she had an affair whilst i was in hospital with cancer She isn't a human being, she is a piece of shit! I've read some truly awful stories of betrayal but the above really gets under my fcking skin!

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 1382 (view)

So you want a second chance? Posted: 11/5/2009 4:47:05 PM
Second chance perhaps, but no more than that.

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 66 (view)

Sex versus love Posted: 11/3/2009 3:32:19 PM
Falling in love and being in a committed relationship is great. It is what we are all after. To suggest that sex is only enjoyable under such circumstances is beyond ludicrous. If you'd bothered to read my initial response to the OPs topic I'd stated that I hadn't had sex with someone I'm not in-love with. I never said a man can't have sex without love. There's an almighty chip on your shoulder, ever wondered why you're single? You are making a judgment about someone you do not know when you accuse one man of being dishonest when he says he needs "love" to have sex. I bet that guy can speak for himself better than you can speak for him. Sadly the internet is full of bitter arseholes, and he's simply another clown to be avoided. I haven't been dishonest with my comments - I have never had sex with a woman whom I haven't been in-love with. Why would I lie? I have nothing to gain from lying on an internet forum full of strangers/weirdos.

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 71 (view)

How do you get over someone? Posted: 11/3/2009 1:06:15 PM
You knock them off the pedestal you have placed them, get rid of the candles and roses that you have set up as a shrine to them and remove the halo from atop thier head That about sums it up for me, excellent post!

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Sex versus love Posted: 11/3/2009 10:00:34 AM
Another man card revoked.. what a complete load of crap. In your fcked up world maybe, but I've never had sex with a woman I haven't been in-love with. It is you who is talking a complete and utter load of shite, and you have the gall to tell me how I feel about women and sex in one sentence. Who the *** in the dark do you think you are????

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Sex versus love Posted: 11/3/2009 9:46:18 AM
When I have sex with the person I love, I'm making love. Sex without love is nothing more than a mechanical, functional act. Making love is completely different, it's an expression of so many indescribable emotions, thoughts and feelings. I can't have sex with someone I don't love.

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 309 (view)

When is flirting cheating? Posted: 11/1/2009 7:36:14 AM
Unbelievable some of the comments, people actually defending the practice of flirting whilst in a relationship. It's totally unacceptable, it IS a form of cheating, is IS disrespectful and it ****ing hurts! Some people are never satisfied, doesn't matter how much attention and adoration they receive from their significant other it's never enough.

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 134 (view)

COWARD ! - The Ignoring Game Posted: 10/31/2009 4:47:10 PM
In my experience some women just don't get the message even though you've told them it's over, and so the chasing game begins.

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 72 (view)

more sex Posted: 10/30/2009 4:19:52 PM
I am in a commited relationship and I can NOT get enough sex. Bekka, please read my PM

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 40 (view)

She dumped me so why does she still want to see me? Posted: 10/30/2009 5:48:10 AM
If you remain friends with this woman, you will never get over her. You will always live in hope that one day the two of you can go back to a loving relationship. Do yourself a favour, politely tell her to go away and never contact you again, unless of course you want to go through the mill over and over. Ditch the **** and move on.

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

Say anything you want! Posted: 10/29/2009 3:42:33 PM
Remind me never to shop at Walmart :) I wouldn't say anything, because I've said all I wanted to say when I waved her goodbye.

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 58 (view)

more sex Posted: 10/29/2009 5:06:55 AM
I have to admit to remaining in a particularly nasty, dysfunctional relationship just for the sex. In the end I couldn't cope with the dramas so I left and did a lot of thinking. Sometimes we put far too much on emphasis on the physical side of things in a relationship, I know I did and I've certainly learned my lesson. No amount of sex is worth having your mind ripped to shreds.

NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009

Msg: 85 (view)

All you old ravers... Posted: 10/28/2009 10:13:50 AM
Re-discovering Renegade Soundwave atm, they put dub on the map in this country at least. The Phantom Transworld Siren Biting My Nails (Bass numb chapter) Cocaine Sex Superb tracks, they were also extremely clever samplists (Transworld Siren). Flood is a genius imo.

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